#272

Continuing our love and relationships series, we revisit my chat with the incredible Alain de Botton.
One of the most listened to episodes on Slo Mo, I and the British-Swiss philosopher, Alain de Botton, dive deep into one of my favorite topics: Love.
Alain de Botton is a philosopher and writer of essayistic books that have been described as a "philosophy of everyday life." He’s written on love, travel, architecture and literature. His books have been bestsellers in 30 countries and have sold millions of copies. Alain also started and helps to run a school in London called The School of Life, dedicated to a new vision of education. His latest book, published in September 2019, is a collection of essays written for The School of Life, titled The School of Life: An Emotional Education.
I love talking about love, just as much as I'm happy to discuss happiness. Alain's body and scope of work is so vast, I decided to focus this conversation entirely on love, sex, and relationships. I'm so glad I did.
We will revisit:
- What is love? Alain's definition of love: 'when two people meet in their raw condition.'
- How the opposite extreme of love is Loneliness, not Hatred.
- How Life is a desperate emergency, and if we can just admit that, things open up.
- Why Christianity gives a privileged role to those who suffer
- One of the most honest takes on sex you'll ever hear
- How we're always trying to get our life as close as possible to our true reality
- If we're all imperfect, doesn't that make imperfection perfect?
- How we've replaced happiness with "fun" just as we've replaced love with "romance"
- The contradictions in love and how they're only glaring because they violate a script or story we expect from our relationship
- How we shouldn't be held accountable for what we feel, but rather the actions we take based on those feelings.
- Reinterpreting the typical disaster scenario in a relationship when one partner cheats on another.
- Humanity's transition from demonizing sex to trying to understand it
- The differences (or lack thereof) between male and female in love and sex
- Sexual fetishes and their unique place in couple connections
- Undertakers and nurses as beacons of acceptance
- The game of life is trying to find connections
- The ironic outcome of jealousy's intentions
- How to keep your partner faithful
- Alain's love advice to my daughter
- Coping with the feeling of being rushed into marriage as a woman
- What "God is love" really means
- Seeing your partner as an Adorable Idiot rather than just a regular idiot
Connect with Alain de Botton on Twitter @alaindebotton and alaindebotton.com
KZbin: @mogawdatofficial
Instagram: @mo_gawdat
LinkedIn: /in/mogawdat
Website: mogawdat.com
Don't forget to subscribe to Slo Mo for new episodes every Saturday. Only with your help can we reach One Billion Happy #onebillionhappy

[@peijuechen]

I like Alian de Botton ‘s talks a lot, like his humor, his perspective on human relationships and being humans.

[@magialukhava1921]

I have loved and followed Alain de Botton work. He’s a very interesting philosopher of our times. Loved the conversations.

[@UnyieldQuest]

One of the greatest guests in your podcast 💌

[@laylani3]

How profound yet so beautifully simplistic. I’ve learnt so much from this podcast, thankyou.

[@shiannful]

Wonderful 💫 conversation by wonderful people especially about loving someone for who they actually are they’re minds, being and soul, I think that is the key , having the same mindset and outlook generally in life soo important and how maybe rare and special it is if you have this or can find this, imperfection is perfection absolutely - that word again “connection” 💯

[@peijuechen]

“Huge deficit of love in this world”. Totally agree!

[@lucymilne4086]

I listened closely to their mentioning of a lack of love in the world, and then later when Alain talked about the poor [in Christianity] I thought about perhaps we still think of 'the poor' as financially lacking, when perhaps we should be looking at a poverty of friendship, love, comradery, connection and long-term commitments: a poverty of a range of friendships, loves and relationships in our lives. Thank you for the video!

[@danantwi957]

The Christian concept of poverty (in spirit) is not one of lack. It is not the absence of money or resources. Rather, it is the presence of mind that all that we have, all we ever desire is a gift from God, and that our sustenance is from him. When we have that mindset, Christ says we are blessed. I would be interesting to explore how growing in the expression of our faith influence how we love the Other. Interesting discussions indeed.

[@lootaur8086]

One of my favourite interviews with Allain. Thank you very much for making this happen.

[@rachelchong543]

Thank you for this wonderful podcast! Found "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle helpful in understanding what love really is. He refers to love a state of "beingness," a recognition of the fundamental oneness of all life, and a deep sense of connection with other beings. love=being seen=seeing yourself in others=presence=being in the now=seeing aliveness=being conscious=having a conscience=true empathy=unconditional acceptance=gratitude=appreciation=seeing the beauty in something=awareness

[@kklifecoach7585]

❤ what is love...its when you say....I love the way I feel when I am around you. That is a reminder that I am in love with myself and the pereon who comes into my life is also in love with themselves...without ego

[@Appleloucious]

One Love! Always forward, never ever backward!! ☀️☀️☀️ 💚💛❤️ 🙏🏿🙏🙏🏼

[@AndiAlexander1]

What a beautiful conversation.

[@lottielotte]

Love listening to Alain always 🫂

[@shiannful]

Wow , on my newsfeed- I’d forgotten how good this conversation was in every single way especially the beginning

[@andreeabuliga1890]

Much appreciation for this fabulous conversation, I am also an "adorable idiot" who learnt so much from both of you!

[@rollingnome]

Brilliant. I've subscribed. I already knew & loved Alain; but this is two for the price of one!

[@francesmontgomery2977]

Ah joyful ….such lovely common sense and insight.

[@irmamakrevski5652]

-Disconection, loneliness, armared (belittle) -Connected to vulnerability, respect, giving smth that can be used againsr you, safe, close to, -pride - i may do/live all by my self -breakdown - desire for authencity

[@moniquemitchell7326]

Really appreciate these insights, thank you

[@owengreene382]

We are all imperfect, flawed. Theses words hit home. This podcast is an inormous educated insite to me, and those who think what's wrong with me, why do others have more friends, better jobs, good-looking wives or girlfriends. Allan is correct, the world is flawed, driven by failure more of the time. That us normal.

[@co4975]

Reading this caption I thought: I’d better ask my partner. However, it’s worth listening this. 👍 thanks.

[@eddiebrugal8660]

Alain rocks

[@Mr.Gratitude]

Awesome perspectives. Thank you guys. Mo, your 1 billion people happy is an amazing legacy, let me know if I can help. All the best.

[@victorramondelgado535]

Thank you! ❤

[@MrSlawkie]

I find it paradoxical, that on the one hand we all desire the closest form of human connection striped away from all superficialities, facades and external factors, but on the other hand we also crave validation from people based on those superficialities like career, possessions, achievments. I would love to ask Alain why he thinks it's like this. Is one substitute for another or they fulfill each other? If so, it's quite ambivalent. Anyways, that was a great conversation of two super intelligent humans and you, Mo, got a new follower :)

[@ririlifestyle705]

انا اعتقد ان الحب بين ( الرجل و المراءة ) هو ارتباط بين طرفين مختلفين(ذكر و انثي) عشان يكملوا بعض في النهاية و كل ما كان الطرف الاخر بيكون شبه روحي و نفسي الحقيقية كل ما نجحت العلاقة و نجح التواصل بينهم. يعني هو قائم علي الاختلاف في اشياء(ذكر و انثي) و تشابه في اشياء( الروح و النفس الحقيقية ) عشان نوصل لشيء واحد و هو التكامل النهائي هنا بيكون الحب الحقيقي

[@tejonvini9182]

Beautiful

[@matrix4793]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@asliiiiifestyle]

🎉

[@dr.florence]

Mo, you lost me when you spoke of the Middle East. I am a Middle Eastenwe and liberal Muslim, and sex and pleasure is inmensely imporant - in the container of marriage. The wife even gets to divorce her husband if he doesn't fulfil her sexually! Whether she ever does that is another topic but the religion itself is not against sex or pleasure. It just has stuff to say about the context. And we all do, hence your own conversation!