Alain de Botton | The Course of Love

[@MurrayDancey]

Alain needs to repeat this lecture every year to keep it showing up for people on their KZbin algorithm ❤

[@alebeau4106]

I could literally listen to that man read the phone book... It's just so insightful and intelligent and it just has a strong drawing effect...

[@mfatimah9427]

I said the SAME THING to myself before reading your comment loool

[@01swords]

❤

[@julie5668]

I love his touch of irony and humour about human frailties and conditions while he teaches us to understand ourselves and others better.

[@elvansavkl7972]

he is so right on so many levels. I wish I knew him 20 years ago.

[@jimicunningable]

I talked to Dr de Botton at some CC here in IL while he was on an early book tour. He was most generous with his time to the students and fans. He's an excellent author and thinker.

[@susanbernard8511]

Everything Alain has to say about relationships and love is absolutely true. Thank you for enlightened discourse.

[@prateekagar88]

Alain, you are a blessing from the lord!

[@larainehruby1376]

I am a romantic from the Love generation of San Francisco in the late 60s, early 70s. Now that 7 decades have passed since each parent took turns traumatizing me, I am convinced that the ideal love affair (that lasts while on earth) would be, after the Initial Crush, to buy houses right next door to each other and pay surprise visits in order to be Re-traumatized “that special way” over and over and . . . What bliss!

[@annn1502]

I actually love this man. He is brilliant!

[@beldonhuang]

Indeed, love is not only built on top of sexual/romantic attraction, but also the energy, time and patience that is put into improving and learning about each other and fixing the cracks along the way, which a lot of times is definitely not fun. However, this is exactly where the beauty and meaning of love lies, which is, regardless of our differences, the difficulties we have encountered or will encounter, we still choose to stay with each other and love each other.

[@Thank-u-so-much-for-everything]

Blind faith in others is not true love but trying to understand others is true form of love. Trying to understand others can't produce hate or fear except love and kindness in us.

[@NCorteza0431]

41:00 this section about decoding is so on point

[@justice5454]

Out of so many love talks your theory on love is the best of the best

[@lmansur1000]

I love him too! So helpful and yet lighthearted! ...and funny when we see how we dramatize life and make it so complex! He takes the rug right from under us and wakes us up.

[@janmots2829]

A very interesting talk. It's true that damaged people sometimes fall in love when they shouldn't. Romanticism is saturated in our media & books. We need a new way of thinking to help ourselves out of this mess.

[@kbenchekor2960]

Ij

[@lynnrich114]

I love Before Midnight. Another great film-- eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. It too explores the illusivity of love and memory.

[@CHPCHPCHP123]

no longer being afraid/embarrassed who you are; brilliant insight!!!!

[@benjiang9789]

He is a great thinker using easy language for all to understand

[@Sprite_525]

Starts 1:21

[@jb00705]

Praise you.

[@carmenismyname]

Merci 👌🏼 🙋🏻‍♀️

[@lauraoldermanart6784]

Thank you!

[@AdrianHepburn-vz9yr]

Just watch it.

[@Sprite_525]

Adrian Hepburn - clearly others agree with me, not everybody needs to be told what they’re about to see for 90 seconds. Go do whatever you want Adrian

[@cheri238]

Listening to Alain I have always enjoyed

[@leannefaulkner-charve6910]

You’re a legend Alain! You help me understand the human condition!

[@leannefaulkner-charve6910]

His mind!!!! OMG

[@lanamuir9352]

Alain's take on life and love is wonderful beyond words. Whenever I hear anyone mention they are looking for their "soul mate", I cringe. I prefer the word "earth mate", as it's more accurate.

[@brandon11111]

Incredibly brilliant.

[@bharateshk2085]

This was indeed an art ❤

[@tinkageorgewilliam4375]

47:28 Movie recommendation... Before Midnight. Off I go. It's a long quarantine period. :D

[@susanrichard1653]

This certainly was not showing love or sensitivity, more evolutionary investigation in the practice of love and it’s principles needs to occur.

[@woodspriteful]

Much appreciated~~~

[@victortimercan5767]

Great ideas about love. This Romantic love is a result of the widespread lack of desire. We live desires of others as René Girard described in his mimetic theory. So to conquer the one and only we have to show that we truly love and it takes exaggerated forms and absurd requirements. So we think all starts with love and ends in marriage. In fact it should be the other way round: in marriage we have to learn to love. But with all this pressure and madness it becomes almost impossible.

[@michaelshannon9169]

Love, the greatest game two ppl can play on each other.

[@pcm8409]

This is so enlightening

[@sandraseeper]

Alain de Botton is certainly my selected author and speaker on life miseries...enjoyed every expression

[@olgajensen3005]

Love is reasonable ❣️❣️❣️ And we are crazy 🥰

[@tony69fio]

Now I’m sad. I feel like what I was looking for isn’t real. It was a dream. Now I feel like I’ve lost something I really cared about. What I thought love was..... No wonder my relationships always disappoint me. I am looking for something that isn’t real :(

[@MC-df7xd]

I came to the same realisation when I stopped believing in romanticism (thanks to Alain). As a result, I learned to enjoy and appreciate the simple and real acts of love in my life and to make efforts to truly connect with my SO. Relationships become more satisfying when we strip them of all clichés and unrealistic expectations. You can be glad for having a new mindset now :)

[@susanrichard1653]

Tony, you successfully at adding to others misery. I still love you regardless.

[@SandraLovesSun]

I love this man.

[@karinturkington2455]

Lovely.

[@Kyxkyx]

I’d literally marry this man OUT OF TRUE LOVE and intelligence

[@stephenfeldman8104]

Alain's taken. But, lucky you, I'm not! Let's take it slow, though, OK?

[@susanrichard1653]

Reminder, cultivate humanity and kindness ❤️🌍 thank you

[@MANYMORES]

37.00 course start

[@user-yk9sk7pg6v]

Thank you

[@italotter]

So, in essence, 'You are damned if you do, and you are damned if you don't'.

[@alicemungia1642]

I'm an elementary school teacher. My ex husband did not want to learn a thing from me. He wouldn't even cook with me. My ex boyfriend was the opposite. However, we ended because he led the life of a boyfriend and the life of a single person.

[@stevencomms2134]

Teachers always think they know best 😏

[@AdrianHepburn-vz9yr]

How many of the shades of love are merely base needs sought for and occasionally met?

[@brainmachine235]

The below said, I adored his take on Proust. (Oy. Proust, David, de Botton: all Jews. They should meet and drag Woody Allen into the mix. What a movie they would script.

[@cheerldr9904life]

Firsly, I LOVE your view of life, and all of your psychological inspection of modern day love habits. Now for my question: It's interesting. You say that no where does our culture teach that love involves deep suffering and a need for forgiveness of the other, mutually. My experience in marriage preparation during engagement to another Catholic Man, is that our entire marriage preparation (courses, casual advice from married couples, worksheets, counseling), is that this is the very thing that we'll inevitably be experiencing and must be prepared for, but that simultaneously, the Goodness and Love that is among all of that will be there to relish in and enjoy. There are deep theological Truths that support this, and give explanations for it within the Catholic Faith. I agree that this idea does not exist much in secular culture, but am curious what you'd say about whether one can embrace a true, deep acceptance of these hard-to-cope-with ideas, with the absence of the explanations of them. Thank you!

[@bennguyen1313]

Sadhguru suggests that "love" one feels in the *EARLY stages of a relationship never lasts.. your person (or anything external for that matter) shouldn't be the source for that feeling. Instead, one can cultivate being pleasant inside all the time, bringing that sweetness to everything, regardless of the people and circumstances around you. Being genuinely happy for the good fortunes and happiness of others. Instead, a relationship is a commitment to aid the other in this *PERSONAL* journey of becoming the best version of themselves. This commitment requires constant management and maintenance, as everyone has issues. Hopefully, you can find a partner that has the same goal, and can complement your strengths/weaknesses and needs. Ultimately, romantic-love goes away quick, leaving the issues of everyday life, so rather than relying on someone who is flawed (and everyone is flawed) to extract the pleasantness you feel.. practice cultivating and being love.

[@susanrichard1653]

What is KEY to your message is the practice of cultivation of the act and actions of love. Perhaps your educational background has influenced your interruption of appropriate boundaries that one crosses to support the success of love. Fundamental to all healthy relationships, is equality, intellectual and fundamental values and the absence of control. The latter is the source of most relationships failures.

[@yoyoyo5621]

Alain just out here casually truthbombing us and ruining our fantasies.... haha what is life, what is love and how do we get it haha

[@susanrichard1653]

We get true love being real only.

[@marcelosmancini]

I could almost watch it on 0.75 speed :P

[@rriinnaa1]

❤❤❤

[@theoutpost1982]

Wouldn't it originate simply from our need to be loved

[@elvansavkl7972]

love is caring to each other. we need friends ... when we have lust we scare to the other person.

[@brainmachine235]

This poor - albeit - witty soul. He’s created an entire construct around the hurt he’s felt with each relationship. Kind of an upmarket Larry David.

[@sealy999]

He sounds like person in my meditation app

[@donnetube73]

The problem with love is "a feeling that a lover does not really love us"...what shame Alain ignores my realistic view on what love really is...its all self serving and about fulling the ego...period!!

[@AdrianHepburn-vz9yr]

How many of the shades of love are merely base needs sought for and occasionally met?

[@susanrichard1653]

Very glad we introduced the essential concept of the EGO, loving another human being should not involve a displacement to owns Ego or core values and well-being. True or healthy live supports the improvement one’s self without direct instructions as you naturally bring out the best in one another. We don’t write an script for another human being. We can only be present, loving and supportive.

[@Othello379]

25:55

[@CHPCHPCHP123]

laundry: they had maids then !!!!

[@mardishores4016]

Does 'love' even exist? Lol...

[@Flyingcoffe]

Yes but only for smart people.

[@olgajensen3005]

Yes, Hope You `ll find it 💞

[@Chris-dw7gq]

Hilarious!

[@greendeane1]

One thing we need to learn is to stop mutilating boys for life.

[@berdinamadden]

"Good Enough" is not love

[@vaultsjan]

What is?

[@jackieblue04]

If you see it like that it's because you're a romantic.

[@MM-vu6gw]

You "tried" not to get political but you did. I like your speeches but I LOVE TRUMP even more. You teach about love but Trump is fighting a battle between good and evil for us. Therefore, I will not be supporting your work or purchasing your books.

[@MM-vu6gw]

And what's more important; you are an atheist while Trump loves God.

[@Fefe559]

the girl that introduced him should cut back on her antidepressants

[@susanrichard1653]

The trick didn’t fly honey

[@faridaafrin9556]

The harsh tuba thermodynamically cause because can nouzilly fix forenenst a whole crab. changeable, accessible soybean