Alan's Farmer Rant - I'm Alan Partridge - BBC

Alan displays his ignorance to all farming matters.
Taken From I'm Alan Partridge Series 1
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[@briansmith5239]

How both of them kept a straight face shooting this scene is amazing.

[@omgwtfbbq2011]

I've got 104 friends line kills me

[@pkwimmm]

I’m sure there’s loads of bloopers for that reason

[@ejayman]

Chris Morris is the KING of keeping a straight face. This is child’s play compared to some of the interviews he did for Brass Eye with unwitting celebs

[@SagaciousFrank]

Think it's called acting and multiple takes?

[@JRK2669]

I saw Morris crack a smile at the yeahhhhh line

[@AWonkyCarrot]

"I don't care what you call your sordid little grief hole" is such a killer line

[@melvert33]

Brilliant line and Alan's face showing a flash of anger straight after!

[@kamotetopz6776]

It's a Travel Tavern!

[@Dekoherence-ii8pw]

And I'm betting Chris wrote that one himself.

[@54spatula]

"I've got 100 Cows". "I've got 104 Friends"

[@neilcarrollMeganJamieForever]

You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth!

[@tutin4090]

@@neilcarrollMeganJamieForever and the plums have mutated and have got beaks

[@neilcarrollMeganJamieForever]

You make pigs smoke.

[@eightiesboy]

Quacking plums.

[@aestheticaltwat]

You feed beefburgers to swans.

[@johnsmith-nx9ne]

steve cogan is brilliant obviously but can we take a moment for chis morris? beautiful straight man delivery :)

[@TheButterMinecart1]

chris morris has always been a legend

[@AudieHolland]

His beef burger 'explanation' caught me off guard as well

[@jimpackard8059]

Chris morris is brilliant

[@phillhiip6743]

I agree, he’s a beautiful straight man

[@danw1374]

He puts so much conviction into this. Brilliant to watch.

[@Knappa22]

Piers Morgan is like this, only without the irony.

[@CycolacFan]

And the warmth, humanity, intelligence, humour, ego...

[@the5thmusketeer215]

@@CycolacFan Piers Morgan’s ego is even bigger than those giant chickens... 😂

[@75MalcolmX]

Piers Morgan and the covid 19 debates, very similar.

[@herrheroin606]

This isnt called irony

[@jayr7965]

Qanon makes Allan's fantasies seem reasonable and well thought out.

[@flexwinggpipi]

Must have watched this sketch 50 times. It still kills me. Comedy genius

[@mattywilliams7932]

Greatest line ever "You make pigs smoke". I laughed so much I had Kenco coming out my Nostrils.

[@PlanetBongoSan]

serves you right for drinking kenco

[@bramleydragon]

Matt Williams I laugh so much at your comment but thankfully I wasn't drinking Kenco. Ha ha.

[@RandomTask]

Ok Dan ;-)

[@erobertson1417]

Was it Kenco Millicano?

[@CompleteCretin]

It made me laugh too, but my nostrils were clear.

[@Macho_Fantastico]

"I've got 104 friends" that line is so petty, just comedy gold.

[@noahport3314]

And infinitely more funny than if he had said 101 friends.

[@RobWitchdoctor]

"I've seen the big eared boys on farms.." LOL , crying, so funny. Legend

[@cyborgbadger1015]

tat's the line that killed me!

[@zufgh]

"And these chickens are scared! They don't know why they're so BIG!"

[@danofthedead1979]

zufgh massive

[@DuderinoDeux]

On stilts?

[@bankruptbritain6103]

Why am I so, massive?

[@TonyEnglandUK]

Someone should have told him chickens are always scared. In fact, they're CHICKEN!!!! lmao.

[@AdamF8]

20 Foot High chickens 😆😆😆

[@ratcliffave]

Get Alan Partridge to present Top Gear.

[@AlisonBryen]

ratcliffave amazing idea!

[@canttelthetime]

Bobby Dukes yes I think the best three for the job would be Alan partridge, Edd China, and Mike brewer. Wish it could happen. Would be good viewing.

[@GreenthumbsGarden]

No words more truer spoken

[@duncanbirss4333]

ratcliffave partridge is great , top gear is shit

[@PlanetBongoSan]

this would be a rampant crossover success. 8 out of 10 cats can do Countdown then Partridge could smash the shit out of top gear

[@matthewlee8725]

This scene is a masterclass in looking at your notes to remind yourself of your lines but making it look absolutely natural. Genius from both of them.

[@-M0LE]

Two legends in full character The talent here is rarely matched Comedy gold here

[@alyxi]

Chris Morris' talent and intelligence is frightening

[@roblaa3198]

meh get over him...average at best

[@resonator23]

Be interesting to know who you consider above average

[@junglejamesie]

He's a big posh sod with plums in his mouth.

[@SongBillong]

@@roblaa3198 "Average at best"? You're clearly someone who has no idea how much Chris Morris has contributed to British comedy!

[@54spatula]

@@roblaa3198 check out 'Nathan Barley', one of his fine creations.

[@lonestar6709]

_"I don't care what you call your sordid little grief hole."_

[@sbhatti534]

Lone Star it’s a travel tavern!

[@CalumHGaming]

@@sbhatti534 You got anymore or are you going to stop at quacking plums?

[@Mechanicthing]

The UK?

[@fegman]

I have tried to use this expression as much as I can, and it causes a lot of drama - I wouldn't recommend describing your kitchen in your house to your significant other as a 'sordid little grief hole' lol

[@NorthWalesKid]

The way he says “yes you do” is one of the most underrated line deliveries ever

[@wurble]

I've always loved that line too (specifically the delivery). So matter of fact after such a ridiculous accusation 😄

[@GusMcGuire]

2 people filled in a pond with concrete, ploughed a family into a field, blew up a tree and used the leaves to make a dress for their wives who were also their brothers.

[@timothygraham4304]

Well, it's a two man job!

[@zerocool6845]

GusMcGuire 14 sons now lol

[@aarongorton1984]

your brother not their

[@danbarnes126]

Their kids ears were bigger than Bono’s bowl of Alpen

[@VanderlyndenJengold]

He didn't deny the thing about the chickens though.

[@octaviancaesarhibernicus4447]

Vanderlynden Jengold his silence spoke volumes.

[@TheJoeMiller88]

Feels like Morris could have helped write this bit - feeding beefburgers to swans is exactly the kind of tweaked zoological concept he'd dream up.

[@imamoronand9199]

A lot of Armando Ianucci stuff is part written by the actors

[@philtaylor2577]

Morris and Coogan. Lovely stuff! Not my words the words of Shakin' Stevens

[@russiandrivers9986]

-You feed beefburgers to swans. -Do I? -Yes, you do.

[@TallSilentGuy]

I'm really not sure how cost effective that would be...

[@SnabbKassa]

When someone accuses you of something ridiculous, just accept the premise and see their logic collapse.

[@ss11111ss]

this show needs to be renewed

[@SuperZedd]

C.Wallace A third series?

[@terratec1001]

A 3rd series would be great!

[@SuperZedd]

terratec1001 I agree. Although preferably on the Beeb.

[@varolussalsanclar1163]

C.Wallace mid morning matters with alan partridge

[@ss11111ss]

no that show isnt half as good it feels too forced

[@jeffstone2136]

"You make pigs smoke" is possibly the best single line in all of 90s TV comedy.

[@dannycheesums]

The way Alan says “yes, you do” at 2:31 crack me up so hard

[@redpillnibbler4423]

“A spinal column in a bap” is one of the funniest lines ever put to screen 🤣

[@Jeanpierr32699]

whats the meaning of that?

[@redpillnibbler4423]

@@Jeanpierr32699 And he keeps giant cows and feeds beef burgers to swans!

[@Jeanpierr32699]

@@redpillnibbler4423 Thanks, I'm from spain and needed to translste that into spanish and dndnt know the meaning, thanks!

[@redpillnibbler4423]

@@Jeanpierr32699 Oh!

[@airsir9559]

@@Jeanpierr32699 it means a spinal column baked into or baked as a part of a type of bread called a bap. A bap is like a burger bun or a dinner roll.

[@michaelfields1113]

2 genius comedy writer/actors at the top of their game: Steve Coogan and Chris Morris with, in my opinion one of the best comedy sketches ever written especially Coogans speech about the family picnic. Comedy Gold.

[@blackphoenix8932]

This & the "needles to say, I took drugs" scene are my most favourite.

[@andynixon2820]

I live in swaffham Norfolk . Alans right , they do make pigs smoke and feed beef burgers to swans .

[@BDaMonkey]

The bit about farmers sticking to their own, kills me dead.

[@Round_07]

It’s the nodding and raising of his eye brows as he says it 🤣

[@wilf18]

Big eared boys 🤣

[@RadagonTheRed]

Just great banter.

[@Jez2008UK]

"his silence speaks volumes..." LOL

[@shmookins]

About time someone blew the lid off giant chicken. The public needs to know!

[@davidjames579]

It's Norfolk. He's talking about Bernard Matthews!

[@ReeceyBoy_4]

Haha yeah man 👍👍

[@TallSilentGuy]

Family Guy already did.

[@gilesfarmer5953]

Bloody Big Farmer!

[@introspectivedreamer3864]

my thanks for all these fantastic posts of Alan Patridge and his friends. Laughter is the best medicine for so much. To those folks who have not watched, come and watch. Thanks indeed for all these clips

[@dandyjesus]

Ive got 104 friends! Back in the days before facebook.

[@davidjames579]

Before Facebook, that was impressive. As he'd have to have actually met each one.

[@jimkelleher5599]

@@davidjames579 disgracebook

[@patagualianmostly7437]

" Friends on Facebook"....A contradiction in terms surely... Or just other loners? 🤣

[@kenmogibrainworld4844]

A genius faces another genius, playing the persona of ignorance and prejudice. The spark of great comedy is simply dazzling here. A classic.

[@medievalist]

My all-time favourite Alan Partridge scene!

[@Tetlee]

Didn't deny it though did he? No, his silence did speak volumes!

[@TheSmithDorian]

His face at 2:49 - 3:00 is priceless!!

[@junglejamesie]

Have you got any more of this, or do you want to stop at quacking plums?

[@pixledemon]

Man, chris and steve have such an opposite energy that it works so well. i hope they work together again.

[@vanessapickering735]

‘ And these chickens are scared! they go “oh why am I so massive!?”

[@AlisonBryen]

Self aware chickens...? That's a terrifying thought...

[@andywhite5982]

"The big eared boys on the farms" classic!

[@pusanghalaw]

this is the best coogan bit of all time

[@ThomasCorfield]

3:06 I've used this as a generic rebuff in every argument I've had over the last six years, and I can tell you that IT ALWAYS ENDS THERE.

[@anubusx]

Big eared boys on farms.

[@davidbarnwell_virtual_clas6729]

Shout out to Prince Charles on a farm.

[@hazardous1990]

Spine in a BAP

[@octaviancaesarhibernicus4447]

Should've said baguette.

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

Spine in a bap = Spap

[@CalumHGaming]

@@Pining_for_the_fjords Infected spinal column

[@candicez37]

Gotta love Alan Partridge!

[@andrewmorrice9139]

I've only just noticed the photo of Dave Clifton on the wall. He otherwise doesn't appear in this episode.

[@anthonyrobson3648]

You farmers, like to stick to your own !! 😂😂😂😂

[@davidjames579]

Love the picture of Dave Clifton on the wall

[@J-SH06]

One if my favourite Alan moments.

[@eggynoodles7747]

You blow up the tree and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who is also your brother 😂😂 golden partridge!!

[@rebasesmonks8235]

Chris Morris was absolutely fantastic here

[@criticalmass527]

"Big eared boys on farms"

[@Cyaneyed77]

Plums with beaks.

[@CalumHGaming]

You got anymore of this or are you going to stop at quacking plums?

[@gregbarratt7161]

"And… and basically, do you agree that everything I’ve said thus far is completely correct?"

[@andrewpatrickallen9009]

"yes" (slightly lower but still high voice)

[@anubusx]

It's a travel tavern.

[@Alex-cw3rz]

I don't care what you call your sordid little grief hole

[@TallSilentGuy]

And with an excellent carvery.

[@CarBore]

@@TallSilentGuy I've got a scam going.

[@mrshamster4077]

If only This Time was a 3rd series of I'm Alan Partridge

[@joenicholls461]

Pure genius

[@ruplateralus]

Joe Nicholls yes genius

[@ianrhodes6928]

Needless to say, Alan had the last laugh.

[@themysteriouscatperson9483]

Yes, he had the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh, the Last laugh

[@alxwlsh]

Needles to say... you took drugs.....

[@scottdain6647]

Are you stressed Alan? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Congratualtions Alan. I am not firing you at this moment.

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

Oh four! I mean five! I mean fire!

[@MrMarcusirish]

Coogan's face when Morris tells him his comments 'were deeply ignorant and typical of the armchair pundits who forget to open their mouths' just class...both he and Morris defined satire, brilliant.

[@TalesOfWar]

It's amazing how many real journalists and presenters are like Partridge, many of them are simply referencing him but there are some who are un-ironically very much a Partridge among the Pigeons.

[@neildmedia]

Richard Madeley

[@brainoneill7639]

A clash of brilliant minds. Both bright as .

[@jimmcbobason1745]

It's true, they have big sheds, but no one is allowed in.......

[@MrEAus]

I tried to ask a man called Arthur Jackson about what goes on in there... But he only wanted to talk about his bloody symphony music; A shame really, as his nickname is "two sheds", so I thought he'd be able to share some valuable insights...

[@davidjames579]

Nevermind Storm Area 51, it's farms we wanna be looking inside.

[@Anygodwilldo]

0:39 .. the farmer is laughing I think... didn't know the camera was on him :-) :-)

[@rmkw4291]

3:06 when a joke gets a laugh and an applause it is brilliant. Steve and Chris are fantastic here.

[@rva]

😅 all the way

[@McTrump]

Clump watched it then commented!

[@rva]

@@McTrump wort!

[@CountScottula1]

Mmmmmadam!

[@marcusmaher-triskellionfil5158]

Remember the cops pulling me over and asked me my name "Peter Baxendale Thomas" was the only name I could come up with, explaining both my mother and father's side, they just looked at me kind of "This lad sounds like a posh type" then sent me on my way, 25 years later i still return to this as a reminder 😅😅😅

[@wonderboy76]

the "yeah" at 0.39 and you know you're about to get something special from Alan!

[@kevinkibble8342]

It took me years to clock, but I love how he's reading his "wisecracks" off some kind of cue, as if he came prepared

[@radders9490]

Two absolute legends

[@thelawless1523]

this is the best the funniest comedy sketch i ever seen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@matthewbacque1622]

No one is as petty, and completely re-watchable as Alan Partridge.

[@stevet1237]

Lovely stuff!

[@richl6966]

I'm not a fan of some of Chris Morris' stuff but he outperforms Coogan here, which is rare on this show. How he doesn't crack I don't know. One of the few characters that makes Alan actually stop, think and panic.

[@DuchessOfStratosphere]

how can you not be a fan of chris morrs' stuff?

[@charliekane135]

Alan's face at 03:23 is classic Partridge aggression.

[@davidwalker5054]

ive got more freind's than you've got cows. Best line ever

[@placidrenegade]

Why am I so massive?

[@keithhinchliffe153]

Probably my favourite ever Alan Partridge moment, and there are many 😂

[@93RubixCube]

I've seen the big eared boys on farms

[@BADWOLF69able]

One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen

[@winstonsmith09]

This so wouldn't work today, Alan would absolutely be on the side of large landowners, industrial farmers and big-eared boys.

[@RalphBrooker-gn9iv]

Interesting to see Chris Morris in this role.

[@GeorgeMonet]

"Do you deny that!? No..uh...his silence speaks volumes." I think we should get Jeff Goldbloom to play Alan Partridge.

[@joeninetee]

Knowing Chris Morris this section was probably totally ad libbed on the fly. Props to both Coogan and Morris for not corpsing.

[@jupitermoongauge4055]

Found myself agreeing with Alan Partridge on this one

[@steveo44]

Moooooo! Quality acting from coogan. His fave when the guest starts talking is brilliant!

[@TheGiokink]

Alan is 100% correct. I once worked on a farm!!!!!

[@emer157]

bob thebuilder what do the big eared boys get up to???

[@mig23flogger88]

bob thebuilder did you..erm stick to your own....??

[@brettjohnson536]

This comment serves simply to alarm the public and piss off all the farmers, which you've done, why don't you just apologise!?

[@CalumHGaming]

Ummm...... Sorry. @@brettjohnson536

[@MrEAus]

Please enlighten us as to the going-on within the sheds..! I once tried to ask a man called Arthur Jackson ;-) about what goes on in there... But he only wanted to talk about his bloody symphony music ;-) A shame really, as his nickname is "two sheds" ;-) so I thought he'd be able to share some valuable insights...

[@stephengardner763]

brilliant

[@user-gh5he6sm5t]

You're joining me Richard Madeley and Peter Baxendale-Thomas of the Norfolk Farmers Union

[@TheGreatGodPan]

"sordid little griefhole" is a beautiful phrase that should be used more often

[@snavs420]

Two of the greats.

[@kenmccready2870]

😀🤣 Totally brilliant ,,the acting is just superb ,,the cringe factor is off the scale ,...I'd just love to have the skills these men have !!

[@enthrallingusername]

.....it's a travel tavern.

[@killboggins]

This and "smell my cheese" really caused me physical pain from laughing

[@vladskiobi]

Steve Coogan and Chris Morris. Two legends.

[@osianpoulton4841]

My frist time watching alan partridge i didnt know what i was missing

[@BDaMonkey]

Osian Poulton The first I'm Alan Partridge series is great.

[@SkinnyEMedia]

The clash of the greatest people from British telly. If I ever met Chris Morris, I’d be terrified. Steve Coogan, seems like a good lad harmless

[@Picture_That_With_A_Kodak]

😂😂 one of the greatest Partridge moment. If not the best. 😂😂

[@GreenthumbsGarden]

I've seen the big eared boys on the farms .... ,😂🤣