ALEXITHYMIA

ALEXITHYMIA: is a little-known condition that affects 1 in 10 Americans and is often called “emotional blindness” and those affected are often called “human robots.” People with alexithymia have trouble identifying and describing their feelings and emotions. As a result, they may falter in their careers, report more physical illnesses, have trouble working through relationship difficulties, and can be left feeling isolated and alone. In this video I review the concept of alexithymia, who tends to be affected by it, and what someone with the condition can do about it.
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[@romywilliamson4981]

People with Alexithymia do feel emotions but just find it hard to describe and identify them. Which makes relationships very confusing!

[@Plasmafox]

No, it's both. There are affective and cognitive sides- I have the latter. My emotional state doesn't register as sensations in my body to begin with. Cognitive alexithymia is where the feelings register, but they don't make sense to you and it's hard to identify them.

[@yngj0e958]

Yes exactly

[@icvideos1621]

I don't know if I agree with that totally. They seem to have a limited ability to feel emotions. They look like outsiders looking in at other people feeling it.

[@goatsandroses4258]

Okay, I'm not officially diagnosed with alexithymia, but let me explain this as best I can. Imagine your emotions are on the opposite side of a thick wall from your conscious/logical/verbal self. There are holes through which you can reach through the wall, but you can't "see" what's on the other side. Wearing gloves (metaphorically speaking), you can reach through the wall and handle the amorphous, ineffable shapes that are your emotions. Imagine handling something you've never seen before, and trying to name it. That's what this is like. It's not a matter of not having words; I have plenty of words, but the verbal does NOT connect with what I'm experiencing. Although I can identify some emotions, many others simply present as a vague sense of unease or a quiet nagging or they don't register at the conscious level at all. Identifying what's going on takes real effort, quiet, and time. For me, prayer/mediation, art, and especially writing have been invaluable. Sometimes things will come out in writing or art (symbolically) that really shed light on things. Anyway, that's my experience, because I feel that subjects like this need to be brought into the public consciousness. Your mileage may vary.

[@valhalla1240]

Doctor: "You might want to try to just name your feelings." Me: I. Don't. Understand.

[@learningnochoice]

U don't even know how they feel.... :/ Understanding the feeling of emotions has been very difficult to me.

[@LaurentLaborde]

my answer would be "why would i want to do that ?"

[@Summercampsxx]

Through counseling we’ve determined my husband has Alexithymia. Explains so much. I finally feel validated. Now I’m just trying to educate myself on it

[@allaboutthemeat338]

Stop cheating on your husband

[@ThomasOrtizMusic]

@@allaboutthemeat338 am i missing something?

[@angelahurd7478]

​@@allaboutthemeat338 what?

[@angelahurd7478]

@allaboutthemeat338 What?

[@2010johnking]

A lot of this describes me pretty well. I don't think I have severe alexithymia but definitely to a degree. It has affected my dating life and relationships in particular and probably my career as well. I'm 39 now and found out at 30 that I'm on the autism spectrum.

[@romulolmattos]

Thank you doctor. Very helpful

[@nalaa9618]

The thing is I'm looking like a normal human and I'm acting like it. Because I got it at 14 I know how emotions and feelings work. I can distinguish when someone is mad, sad, happy etc. but I can't feel them. Sometimes I can't understand why someone is feeling so strongly about smth and I come off as heartless and like an ice queen. My body just reacts to certain situations like when somebody cries I can cry too but do I feel sad? Nahh...unfortunately.

[@kgp98]

I totally relate to this. I usually know when the people around me are happy, sad, angry, etc. But I am not exactly in the moment with them. Sometimes I completely do not understand why someone would be angered or saddened by something I say. I pretty much hover around the same plain emotionally sometimes I am up a little sometimes down.

[@nalaa9618]

@@kgp98 exactly. I have an Alexithymia score of 153 so pretty high and now that I know what it is I can handle it better. I always try to understand other people's emotions but I'm not going to force anything from now on. This "disorder" often leads us to bad situations bc we don't really feel angered or saddened by smth that happens to us but now its the time to just focus on ourselves and reconnect with our inner trauma that caused this. It's better to try and use that as a weapon. We are strong ♡

[@silentwinter3946]

I am the same, I been called rude, uncaring, and men by family, and it makes me feel emotions that I know are there but can't name. It feels like a void with aches in my body and my heart. It's difficult when I'm trying to understand why I have tears in my eyes or why I'm laughing. It feels even worse when I try smiling or laughing since I'm supposed to feel happy and joyful but my smiles come off as jaded and fake because I can't experience or recognize happiness or sadness or anything else. I even get confused with anger and frustration. I hate how other people can smile, laugh, and get angry without feeling a deep unavoided void of indifference throughout their body and mind.

[@maskedlyfe2124]

How did you get it at 14?

[@CHNO-cm1rd]

Exactly! These people are always saying that if you've got alexithymia, you DEFINITELY should behave like a robot. It doesn't make any sense. I've been on this planet for a few decades and I can figure how human communication works. Let alone I didn't know what alexithymia was for the most of my life and I just thought that I'm pretty much like everyone else. Having alexithymia doesn't mean being socially unintelligent, we learn to mask from an early age.

[@thecreativemastermin]

You discussed causes and solutions to Alexithymia very well.

[@tommyX.808]

Hello Dr. Greg. I like your calm presentation style, didn't know your channel yet. I will stay tuned in:)

[@andrewparry1474]

When I don't deal with my emotions, they sure as fuck deal with me!

[@bereajohnson8906]

🔥🔥💯🤌🏽

[@panopticseeker2301]

Thank you Dr. Greg , very well said , sir. However , I feel your close but no cigar ! As with anyone I've heard speaking in this subject , your all assuming that everyone must have emotions. To think otherwise is inconsievable. There are those of us that for whatever reason do not. No love no hate , just nueteral. Once a person is gone , outa sight outa mind. No missing them . No heartbreak when the grand / parents die. No tears. No intense heart felt bond with a newborn child. I can identify my emotions...non- existent. Intellectually I know what an emotion is and when it will come about in any given situation. I know the importance of emotions in a person's wellbeing. I also know what empathy is and when that should be applied. But knowing and the actual feeling of them are two different things. People do notice however , I can attest to that. No matter how well one might mimic true human emotions , I misque to often to go unnoticed. The cost is that I have been alone my whole life. I belong to no familial unit's because I'm not connected in any meaningful way. I don't miss them , I don't think to call them. I don't reach out to make friends or bother to put forth any effort to keep any around. Seeing or hearing things that would horrify most people , I feel nothing about. If I could change anything in my life , that would be it. I want to be a normal person. To feel something in my heart . I hear people say they wish they didn't have any emotions and let me tell you , 5 minutes of that and you'll change your mind. I hope someone will research this topic , fund others and figure it out. I'll 60 years old and it's to late for me , but finding the answer could help the younger ones.

[@ThomasOrtizMusic]

I am so confused. What makes you think this topic hasn't been researched? In my opinion you have ASPD or some type of Schizotypal disorder. You clearly have emotions, but they are negative. I believe you have zero positive emotionality. I checked your profile here on KZbin. You seem to like Elton John. Do his songs invoke anything in you? Again, I'm just very confused as to why you think no research has been done regarding folks like yourself. I would love a reply if you have the time.

[@yurizafurizaki5574]

@@ThomasOrtizMusic exactly. My first thought was he could be ASPD or schizoid.

[@trac111111]

My heart is breaking for you. I am sad to hear your pain. I'm in love with a man who I suspect suffers like you. I'm here for understanding and your personal comment has hit the nail on the head for me. YOUR story has been so helpful for me!!! Thank you for being so open and honest.

[@ramakrishnareddypatel1893]

I am feeling at last someone knows what exactly is happening with me

[@DrGreg]

That's wonderful Rama!

[@Tony-nm1cv]

I havent gotten a diagnose yet, but i already sort of experienced/felt the mentiones before watching this ;-;

[@karbear04]

The dream segment was interesting. I believe I have some amount of alexithymia and ASD, and possibly ADHD but in any case, my dreams are very vibrant and fantastical. In fact, most of my dreams that may seem scary or nightmarish just make me feel pensive most of the time. Do most people actually feel a certain way every moment of the day? Like, I just feel neutral most of the time. I can identify anxiety by a sour feeling in my stomach, and fear by a tingling in my jaw and stomach, but if someone asked me how I feel at any given moment, more often than not I wouldnt be able to give an answer.

[@ignacioluisreigmataix]

Same neutral attitude all day. For a married man it's quite difficult because my wife can not see any expression and it's giving her the idea of being careless. My good/bad thing in my case that's genetic, my father was like that, I have it also and my daughter too, so at least we help each other

[@anakoshash]

A lot of thanks doctor for your helpful video. My brother's in law case is that his wife says that he cannot express his emotions towards her. For example, if he wants to express his love or apology for something done to her he just brings her a bunch of flowers and he says nothing. We notice that he is so indifferent regarding family relationships. He doesn't talk about anything or goes into any conversation. He showed and bursted into aggressive actions towards his wife many times. Other actions noticed is sitting on the stairs for long hours or getting busy with his car cleaning it frequently. My question is: is his case diagnosed as Alexithymia? How should we deal him, or is there a way to help him get normal? And do you think that his wife can cope with him and continue her life with him normally? 🌷🌷

[@rivkavermeij]

I found an app that helps with identifying feelings: Animi. It uses bodily sensation etc for example to identify which emotion you're feeling.

[@angelofhell6390]

Hey doc I wanna ask , I have the disorders that you mentioned but I live in a community don't believe in therapy and mental helth doctors so my parents didn't allow me to see a therapist but I didn't give up and start to change the way I think and replaced all the negative thoughts with positive I stopped complaining and blame myself and just accept it but there is one proplem as you I can't connect with my emotions and I am in my last year in school and I can't study I really tried everything but there isn't any reason that motivate me and my family complain all the time about this I swear I have tried every possible way but still I couldn't study and with all the progress that I have make I don't see that I am going to be better anymore I am not sad,angry,bored or happy I'm just don't have a reason to live or to move me from inside I am 18 but I really like death and I want to as soon as possible I'm not giving up but I swear no one is care about me and I accept it but they

[@Kotifilosofi]

Every professional who talks about alexithymia says that _everyone_ has emotions but some people just can't connect with theirs. But I feel very sceptical about that. I just literally feel like I don't experience the psychological end product of "emotions", I just have the physiological responses of my body. For example, I might feel distressed, cry or laugh, but it doesn't feel like I could reliably name even the most obvious of them, like being scared, sad or happy. You see, being distressed could also mean I'm positively excited, I could cry for numerous of reasons, sadness, envy, disappointment, and I could laugh to fit socially in, for being surprised etc. I just simply feel like I don't have the emotions to begin with, and trying to name my bodily responses by the names of feelings is just an endless guess game to me.

[@lavenderrose2606]

I agree with you , this is what I am going through exactly . Are u diagnosed with alexithymia?

[@Kotifilosofi]

@@lavenderrose2606 hi 👋 no I haven't. I haven't been diagnosed with anything mental/neurological, even though, tbh, feel like I really don't fit in with the neurotypical people. I've always felt I'm somehow different.

[@Kotifilosofi]

@@lavenderrose2606 have you been diagnosed with alexithymia?

[@lavenderrose2606]

@@Kotifilosofi no , but I started visiting a psychiatrist and I’m gonna see what’s going on. Tbh even though it’s not a big deal but it’s still hard. Thanks for replying, I wish you luck

[@Kotifilosofi]

@@lavenderrose2606 that's good. Tbh, I've been thinking about seeing a professional too, but since I manage my life, it feels like unnecessary. You too!

[@CiszaBurzy]

This is the first time I see heightened sensitivity to sights, sounds and physical touch mentioned in discussion of alexithymia. How does it relate to alexithymia exactly?

[@jensgreidorf1282]

Hi, I am Dr. Greidorf, a surgeon and A&E doctor. What about fantasy role play and tournament dance for therapy o alexithymia?

[@whenpigsfly3271]

The way I "feel", and keeping with the black/white theme of thinking, is like how magnets work... in terms of affinity and repulsion. The farther an object under consideration is from me it imposes no effect of either type. Now, when the object comes closer and closer the feeling of aversion or affinity becomes exponentially more intense. It is the intensity that brings about a shutdown, a meltdown, or some other extreme response. For ASD people, I don't they function in terms of emotion. Theirs is in terms of functionality, pragmatism, or efficacy. Notions of love/hate or any orher of the 35 typically distinguishable emotions, don't register in the mind of ASD.

[@tracik1277]

That is not the case across the board

[@rhondasisco-cleveland2665]

Anyone else immediately think of how Brian Kohberger described himself?

[@jesseskellington9427]

14:25 Poster do you have a link to it?

[@joeytan2999]

I cannot seem to feel emotions, except for anger rather than not being able to identify them. I come with low empathy as well. For years i thought i might be on the spectrum (sensory sensitivity, lack of empathy, obsessive etc) but it is only when i got into a stable relationship this year that i realise i cannot feel love or that i miss the person at all. It is hard to connect with my feelings when i don't feel anything much.

[@ThomasOrtizMusic]

Have you researched Cluster B personality disorders?

[@icvideos1621]

Thank you for being honest about something that is so upsetting for the NT partner. If we can stop "normalizing" everyone, maybe something can be done about this particular deficit. Our therapist kept calling it, "A different lense." OMG. It's not a lense, it's a deficit in an area that is not a deficit in the majority of the population. I would like to work on this with my spouse, but we keep being refered to as just "different." Yes, someo

[@gregoryburne5251]

I know when im irritable/angry, or when im relieved. I dont know if im ever depressed. Sometimes i feel "flat". I dont know if thats depression or just burned out. Anxiety too. I dont know if im ever anxious. I dont know sad or lonely. I know when i feel guilty, but maybe its just shame due to bad behaviour.

[@NinaCruz21361]

You don't know/understand your feelings? The best first step is to name your feelings."

[@JB-hj2vj]

Sometimes you can identify the emotion if you are given a list of possibilities.

[@divyanshugautam1232]

Doctor I really need your help I got alexithymia due lots of stress Will I overcome it in future.

[@CSAccetura]

Diagnosed.. I don't feel them so therefore I don't care about others feelings or emotions.. I don't go out of my way to be mean or hateful and I definitely do not hurt anyone physically but I just do not understand why people cry over anything.. if I see someone displaying any type of emotion it irritates me to the point of wanting to leave their presence immediately... The only problem I have with the diagnosis is I'm not having the emotions to be aware of them.

[@OVp-bk6hv]

I have a concussion before 2 months and from this moment i cant feel anything and i cant express my feelings, im like a robot🤷‍♀️

[@TMMT4]

I wonder if alexithymia if affecting me. Emotional awareness is an issue for me. I tend to say that I do or don’t know the feeling I feel. If the feeling I feel is identified the issue is the depth is difficult identifying. It’s as if I’m aware I’m stressed and still unable to see the severity of the stress in that situation. It seems I’m stressed and it isn’t as serious to me. Once I’m out of a specific situation, I tend to see that the stress was more serious than I thought if Im explaining the experience to an individual. If I’m stressed it is challenging trying to express emotions if I feel overlooked or unheard I tend to shutdown. I was conditioned as a child to care for everybody else first. I feel for others over myself. If they’re ok then I’m ok. If I’m making try to make decisions on my own it’s as if others input means more to me. Additionally, as a child I was informed over and over everything I experience couldn’t compare to what they went through so I think it started making me doubt everything due to them downplaying it. So I’d say if I don’t know the feelings I feel or depth of it, it’s a possibility the problem is my feelings always felt shutout so I shutdown. When I went through a breakdown that basically made me see this.

[@aimeedenise4772]

💙

[@youtubefans510]

I had no contact with my late father after a break up , I very very rarely saw him shortly I had a need jerk reaction to avoid confrontation many feelings : discomfort, resentment anger, but the one strong feeling that I did not analyse or identify is LOVE , despite everything, I expercienced a cocktail of feelings, how could I not realize for all those years that I loved him despite everything I had severe poverty during childhood that meant that I was a cross between a child and a teenager at most when I was 25 (trauma) because of poverty and I really did not realize this also I lived my life getting used to having no contact and then he died, I have never felt so much intense pain and remorse and self blame in my life , does anyone know the answer to this ? also when I was 15 16 I missed the love of my youth and felt empty , I did not realise that this empty feeling meant that I missed her, I am also a Highly sensitive person HSP

[@learningnochoice]

Education. Being aware or developing awareness about your emotions is a first step? How emotions feel , and understanding that u are effected by your emotions is very difficult for people with asd. Tracing , understanding that your behavior is the result of your emotions is very difficult. You , your inner world, your physical arousals becomes a struggle and a burden. U become chaos and act accordingly. This is why many people with autism kill themselves eventually.

[@elfglow4557]

I know it must be hard. But no way to kill yourself. ASD people are so wonderful and kind. There is no need to do this. I’m sorry it feels chaotic I just wish world knew more about neurodiversity. We have different brain wiring, so what! There are so many preferable traits that you guys have.

[@tracik1277]

@@elfglow4557thank you, that is very kind and insightful

[@sharwarigangawate8738]

Ahhh is it possible like you can't perticularly understand emotions cuz i always feel i actually don't feel anything like i mean specially toward u know fellings no matter what i try it still seems black and empty it's so confusing at some point i couldn't tell what exactly i feel like it's frustrating...

[@ramakrishnareddypatel1893]

I feel that way always. The more I want to explore myself regarding feelings, the more I fall into unknown abyss. And the cycle has been continuing for 40 long years.

[@rainsara2795]

Same and I use the word frustrating for both anger and sadness cause I really struggle to find another way to describe it..

[@icvideos1621]

OK. So where do married couples go for real, professional help with this overwhelmingly difficult neurological condition? Is there real help by therapists who really know what Alexithymia is and how to deal with it?

[@kristiereynolds9412]

This is a random question in absolute desperation....is it remotely possible that an alexithymic person can learn (?) enough to continue to be married to someone with DID? I've done the work to be emotionally minded and even enrolled in uni to do Bachelor of Psychological. Science (is I've done "the" work!!) But now my alexithymic husband is making me ill 😞 were hurting each other and its not even our fault. What's worse is hubby eont go to counselling....please help us!

[@johnbillings5260]

Well, I don't know how I feel about all of that.

[@edgreen8140]

Displacement.

[@Touay.]

Wait!!! People experience emotions in their dreams!!!???? Any doubt i had about whether i have alexithymia .. now gone.

[@TheNurseWhoLovedMe89]

I’m finding this video years after it was made, but just in case anyone else finds themselves here too - There’s a book I’ve found incredibly helpful for learning to identify and understand my emotions. “Atlas of the Heart” by Brené Brown. I highly recommend it 🙏🏻💖✨

[@kgp98]

Does Alexitymia also prevent dream retention? I have only remembered 1 dream in many years.

[@nalaa9618]

Yes and you probably only dream about daily activities rather than real imaginary scenarios

[@generalhypocrisy1876]

Oh okay I dreamt that a girl killed herself because of the devil and some demonic shit so I must be okay. I just don’t connect with myself or others very well

[@Kotifilosofi]

I don't remember my dreams either. Like, I remember dream maybe once or twice a year. But I suspect that it has more to do with my sleeping schedule wich is a mess, than by my emotional blindness 😅

[@user-gx4wi4cv2m]

@@generalhypocrisy1876 that’s not ideal. I would seriously consider reading a Bible. Use the name of Jesus if you have had any more demonic dreams. My dad has experience excorcising many demons.

[@generalhypocrisy1876]

@@user-gx4wi4cv2m the Bible isn’t necessary, I don’t believe in that. I believe in chakras, and if you use words that are powerful or have a whole sense to you, then you can use that against bad spirits. So I said “leave in the name of the spirit” and I kept using that sort of energy and at some point it was gone,

[@oumchansopheak7611]

Does alexithymia hurt you guys? I have never had it but it seems so interesting thats why I am here. As a person who easily reacts to things or too emotional, thats why I wish I couldn’t easily react like you all

[@TheNurseWhoLovedMe89]

The issue for me with alexithymia is that I do react (because I can feel emotions), but because I can’t identify them it can make feel really confused about my reactions because I don’t understand the emotion driving my reactions. I know I feel *something* but I don’t know what it is…

[@amandad7885]

Do you take couples patients via telehealth

[@DrGreg]

Hi Amanda, I do (but only from California and Texas), you can send me an inquiry through my website at www.drgreg.com

[@fak]

دعواتكم لا اعرف ما بي ولا أعلم ما أريد ولا استطيع ان افعل أي شيء ولا أفكر بشيء ابداً

[@deanjelbertaustria6174]

So.. this is what it's called.

[@rollipeikko4080]

I have an issue of having non standard emotions or feelings. It is like when I label those people are astounded and clueless yet they make perfect sense to me. People do not understand how I tick and in return there is no reciprocity. I'm eccentric. I think I'm schizotypal but is this alexithymia?

[@n2tsisters55]

Do kids get affected by alexithymia

[@victoriakot353]

Yes I've had this my entire life.

[@yuppers1]

Yes. As a kid I kept my feelings bottled up in my stomach and saw so many gastroenterologists as a result.

[@anhumblemessengerofthelawo3858]

_my mother has alexithymia, presumably, that is. I am INFJ._ *OUCH* _I grew up writing string quartets, was basically a professional BMX rider, an extraordinarily talented artist, a poet, a violinist, among many other things. This woman never acknowledged me in my entire life._

[@selah7778]

I feel nothing at all.

[@CSAccetura]

Me either.. watching the display of emotions of any type from others irritates me to the point of getting out of Dodge immediately.. it baffles my mind that people cry and grieve.. I've experienced death in the immediate family and multiple quote on quote past traumas but I can't say I remember a feeling behind any of it..

[@yurizafurizaki5574]

I am alexithymic. Recently, a person I considered a friend called me something inappropriate (shortly: he called me names) twice. Maybe he's alexithymic too, not sure. When he first called me names, I didn't react. Because i didn't know if it was fit to react, i didn't know what kind of reaction to give. But i definitely didn't like the way he addressed me. I don't think I was angry, but i did think about it quite intensely. Second time, just a few hours after, because i had been thinking about it, I said something to him and i was being sarcastic with my statement, alluding to what he addressed me earlier. He didn't spot my sarcasm and thought I was playing along (by calling myself names just as he did to me). And because he didn't spot my sarcasm, I exploded. He was surprised seeing my outburst. He said, "why weren't you upfront?" And he meant why wasn't I being upfront telling him I didn't like being called names. He said he's just joking, but it wasn't acceptable to me. No one calls verbal abuse a joke. That's crossing the line (and I said this to him). However, I didn't think of it as a verbal abuse at first, it was until I read an article that said it's verbal abuse that I realized it. I just knew it wasn't alright. I just didn't understand my feelings that time. I knew I was angry, but I thought I was ok too at first. Explaining this is hard and I feel like going in circle. I was in a great confusion. I thought I was ok, but at the same time I didn't like what he did. Then I gave it a thought. I thought about his question, why wasn't I being upfront, why couldn't I tell him I didn't like he called me names. Then I googled about whether we can consider calling names as a joke and came across an article about how calling names is verbal abuse and how calling names may impact the victim, it strips off the victim's self worth, etc. I guess that's why I got so mad. I did not consciously realize that being called names could make me lose my sense of self worth, but I just consciously knew what he did was unacceptable. I just couldn't explain to him why it's not acceptable until I read the article and got my epiphany. Often times, I need songs or articles to help me to understand my own feelings, why I am angry or why I react a certain way when in my mind I think I'm ok with whatever it is but then I'm not ok and I lose control of my own emotions.

[@NadinMagdy]

my ex is highly alexithymic, I have psychological mindedness is there a way we can make it work if he helps himself

[@hansiesma16]

The nature of alexithymia makes it very difficult to treat. Generally speaking we are immune to therapy. Maybe if amazing therapy could be afforded then that would not be the case. Alexithymia is often connected to another disorder - like Aspergers, in which case treatment is highly ineffective in the long run, in my opinion of course.

[@atomnous]

This is caused by too deep of emotions. Men who are uncomfortable with it tend to ignore them. Those who are successful at managing them are sometimes writers, film makers, artists, etc. It's the opposite of the lack of emotions, as people might often think is implied. I believe it's related to introverted feeling and extroverted thinking that Jung described in Psychological Types. Feelings become more nuanced like HD colors and hard to describe in just one word.

[@andrewparry1474]

I too think that too deep of emotions might be the cause