Alien: Covenant Review - YMS

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[@officialjosha]

The first hour of this movie was so boring that my friend farted and it got more of a reaction out of the audience than the film itself.

[@HOTD108_]

What kind of reaction did it get?

[@-MrFozzy-]

I’m pretty certain I smelt that one

[@rowdydirtyboy7984]

Wow very funny. Very cool.

[@sirrichter5336]

Love ur music

[@MotherFucker1984]

Uh-oh stinky

[@Ruminations09]

The sexual tension between Michael Fassbender and himself in this movie was the best part. It was genuinely hilarious.

[@Psyteth]

PokemonTom09 Their scene with the instrument reminded me of the classic scene in Ghost with Demi Moore. The sexual tension was legit.

[@jakedanielsen4512]

PokemonTom09 I've always wanted to see Mike kiss Mike no homo

[@graveyardrat7666]

PokemonTom09 yeah lol I was dying

[@d48731]

150%

[@tatsuuuuuu]

did they not kiss in the version you watched? in the version I just watched they did !

[@chernobog2996]

Now I'm not gay, but seeing two Michael Fassbenders and then one Fassbender exclaiming "I'll do the fingering" made me question everything.

[@kevlow9494]

dxvilwxrk He also played a detective named HARRY HOLE. think about it

[@CruelPizza213]

They actually removed it lol

[@stackflow343]

If you're gay with _yourself,_ is that that still gay?

[@alexisflores6678]

stackfl0w would it also be incest? Selfcest?

[@theonlychickensama8353]

eatshitdie1 kinda incest, like twins... I think 🤔

[@JohnDoeSchmoe]

Budget: 97 million. James Franco's salary: 90 million. I have this from very unreliable sources.

[@joshuaharris5032]

Why did Michael fassbender and Michael fassbender have so much sexual tension in this movie like wtf

[@smokydogy]

I dunno, why did that robot try to kill ripley by shoving a magazine in her mouth??

[@calissaloricchio6501]

no he cheated on himself by kissing the girl though

[@shadowdroid776]

He probably hated himself for that +Calissa Loricchio

[@watertommyz]

Because Ash was emulating the alien in its facehugger form, as he admired the creature. There's this whole in depth analysis about the film being about rape too. Take that as you will.

[@smokydogy]

Look at this fucking nerd

[@creamithmanning2632]

It's clear that you have ZERO taste when it comes to anime. This was another Miyazaki masterpiece.

[@chasewilson3693]

Everything is perfect about this comment. The profile picture, the name, the content. It all works together......GEORGE LUCAS WAS RIGHT, IT FUCKING RHYMES!!!!!

[@justvibin1087]

Xfurce What you on boi I want somm of dat

[@reloadpsi]

JonTron You were almost as great in Yooka-Laylee as the game itself was.

[@Snarfindorf]

Do people really talk about Miyazaki this way? I stopped watching his stuff after Ponyo, which was extremely average. His earlier stuff is breathtaking though

[@reloadpsi]

Snarfindorf I for one thoroughly enjoyed his work on Dragon Ball GT.

[@lordteensie6156]

"this is gonna be the scariest one" apparently nobody remembers what watching the original Alien for the first time was like.

[@itskazooie3461]

Classic movie did you watch the thing 1981

[@StratEdgyProductions]

You forgot how an alien 360 karate kicked Walter in the face. The alien knows karate....

[@theearthisntflatpleasestop9899]

Nah, that's not a fair criticism. The genetics of the aliens arising from the black goo and stuff is to be ultra violent. So... that neomorph instinctively knew how to attack.

[@antiven0mYT]

NeEts of the world unite! I don't think 360 roundhouse kicks come genetically

[@romolus7255]

Alex Carey that's why David things they are a superior race. .. they are born with karate skills.😑

[@jeangreffsbp]

Strat-Edgy Productions if dropkicking someone is not naturally into your instinct and moveset then there is something wrong with you

[@jordangarcia465]

Guys, clearly this alien just knew how to check it's moveset and didn't need a training mode. Most living things have to train in training mode for a long time before knowing their moveset

[@DrMrCreepz]

"We didn't leave Earth to be safe" nah, just to save humanity no big deal who cares if we die?

[@paulssss5463]

They werent the only colonization mission.

[@tatsuuuuuu]

the version I saw didn't have that line nor did it have many of the shots used in this review such as daniels in front of the window or the microwave. so weird.

[@tilemacro]

World war 2 soldier. "We didnt come here to be safe" Precedes to jump up and down on top of an antipersonel mine trying to flaten it like some soda can. Procedes to jump out of the plane without a parachute. Procedes to Slide tackle a tank. Its just as stupid in the movie.

[@mirandaphelps860]

It would be funny if someone​ recut the flim as a anti smoking PSA

[@johnsmithy9850]

Miranda Phelps So reverse Reefer Madness it?

[@smergthedargon8974]

>tfw Alien: Isolation is the best Alien-related material within this century

[@zander2758]

also the alien making a guest appearance on mortal kombat x

[@benjaminshamel9383]

PREACH!!!

[@Charizarzar]

I’d be totally happy if the sequels were only told through video games similar to A:I

[@mycaleb8]

@Follow the Damn Train /Neonblade You're allowed to be wrong.

[@eval_is_evil]

Fuckin Agreed

[@bladecrawler1684]

For hybernation pods they made axe-proof glass, but a windscreen in a carrier's cockpit (that should be very sturdy) is easily fractured by light pecking from a xenomorphe.

[@RexVergstrong]

"light pecking"

[@Conns2239]

That light pecking can go through a human's head.

[@officialgoosestudios7151]

Whitman Most pigeons can do that too. light pecking dude

[@YouSoSpice]

Shut up, there was NO TIME

[@SexycuteStudios]

I'll do the pecking.....

[@alt0799]

Prometheus budget - $120 - $130 million Alien: Covenant budget - $97 million It at least explains the CG.

[@Tamacat388]

District 9 is nearly a decade old and had 1/10 the budget but managed far superior effects work. Not that Blomkampf should have directed the guy has made nothing but shit since District 9.

[@defunct303]

Andrew Heard *97 MILLION*

[@fuckenps3]

The CGI in Covenant looked incredible besides chestburster jesus and neomorph close-ups. Bad CGI is like lazy cheap 90s stuff, people need to stop being idiots.

[@pleaserewind295]

Incredible?It looked fairly basic to me and I think all of the closeups looked awful. District 9 looked better on 30 million, this was not impressive considering it was RS filming it.

[@pleaserewind295]

I just watched it recently, the cgi looks fantastic for it costing 30 million and being a decade old. The Mech suit still holds up.

[@OMGmyFACE]

Danny McBride talking directly to the camera and a James Franco cameo? This _was_ a comedy.

[@Gravitynaut]

Challah Bread People thought it wasn't? I wonder how they got through that Fassbender flute scene...

[@snatcherofpeachs]

there was one where danny mcbride is yelling in frustration because the communications are breaking up or something and the other girl crew member just awkwardly stammers "stop... stop yelling at it. its not going to--it doesn't help" the delivery genuinely was comedic.

[@thekornreeper]

Yup

[@jesuschristwithajhericurl2739]

*THAT* WAS THE END

[@elliew6765]

I have surge protectors now, you're telling me in the future they don't have surge protectors on their _super mega expensive and important spaceships?_

[@elliew6765]

I hate when lightning hits the rod on top of a building and the entire building locks down and detonates everyone's desk. It's probably a good thing that humans would never design something to work that way because that's dumb and makes no sense, especially a _super mega expensive and important spaceship_.

[@Darkko88]

Ellie Williams Wow, this really pised you off.

[@JunkCCCP]

There's no time

[@Gibbypastrami]

well, solar flares on our sun can effect our electricity, so for a wave of energy to hit a ship, it makes some sense, its obviously plot convenience, but it isnt IMPOSSIBLE lmao

[@tilemacro]

If i might add, it was a neutrino burst that supercharged and burned out all their systems. The director knows nothing of science, he just likes big scary words.

[@kingxerocole4616]

The entire movie should have been David's story, shown from his perspective. He deliberately causes the storm, he deliberately sends the song, all to bring this ship to his planet. It would be about him "getting the orchestra together" to join his piano playing from the prologue. He's been tinkering and testing these aliens; they are born faster than xenomorphs, but as a result they are very weak, like soft-shell crabs. He needs new human subjects, so he brings this ship to his planet. He just didn't expect an entire colony ship. He cuts his hair to look like Walter before they ever see him (to avoid that ridiculous hair-cutting scene), he sends them data about the planet that obscures the storm and makes them think the atmosphere and flora/fauna are perfectly clean and identical to Earth. But they still wear helmets (BECAUSE NOBODY WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO NOT WEAR HELMETS ON AN ALIEN PLANET) and start to doubt this place after the data they were sent about the storm and the flora/fauna proves to be false. There is no black goo, nothing goes into anybody's ears. David sends weak little neomorphs after them and they kill a few but are surrounded. He saves them, so they need his help. They get to his tower of terror and immediately tells them he's holding them prisoner and, if they kill him, the aliens will come get them. But it's a bluff, the aliens are all too weak, which Walter realizes. David manages to disarm Oram and force him over the egg, the facehugger gets him, and falls off before the crew find him. They just think he's unconscious so they bring him back to the ship. Walter finds David, they duke it out, David defeats him and cuts off his own hand and tells a still conscious Walter what he's going to do. So Walter will still be "alive" on this planet with the alien ship, which he might be able to restart and go after David. Plus, David is so vane, he can't bear to kill his own likeness. Before he leaves, David downloads Walter's memories so he can pass any test the crew gives him, which THEY IMMEDIATELY DO. They all get on board and go back to space. The FIRST AND ONLY TRUE XENOMORPH bursts out of Captain Oram's chest and runs around the station, killing everyone. Daniels defeats it. She gives David one last test because she's suspicious, he fails, and she tries to fight him off. He overpowers her and forces her into cryosleep. Now he's got control of the colony ship and is headed for the original planet with some alien eggs. _Fin_

[@Darkko88]

Nice plot that you've pitched there, but you forgot to mention the fingering.

[@pastabird2078]

I like that plot! You’ve got some good ideas there.

[@zad_rasera]

Hey, this is actually better

[@camojoe83]

Except it's the wrong ship.

[@skraminc]

This is really great. That's very concise tweaking that makes more sense.

[@goatswag2744]

"Then david kisses him and stabs him in the throat"

[@andythrasher2976]

The theater I was in burst out laughing when he said that.

[@fluffthesergal7640]

@internet drone - Fingering is where fingers go on a musical instrument, except maybe on Keyboard... Then it could be key-ing or fingering.

[@ZachHighlights]

first 20 seconds, "Luckily I don't really give a shit." Adam gon' tear this one up.

[@tohruadachi9767]

I still think that David was the best part of this movie. And was the best part of Prometheus too. Maybe it's because he feels more like a "blade runner" type villain android than an "alien" one. He is clearly in the wrong movie.

[@jonathanw1019]

Fassbender is definitely the best part of both films. Just the scene in the beginning of Prometheus where he's aboard the ship alone, watching Lawrence of Arabia, is incredibly interesting. If you look at David as a TE Lawrence type character, someone who occupies two distinct worlds and yet feels like he isn't a part of either, his character takes on a really interesting angle and depth. The creativity and desire to implement ideas during the war to fight the Turks. You could write a term paper discussing just David, while ignoring the rest of the movies.

[@Crowley9]

In a world with a bunch of identical-looking androids going around, you'd think they would have some kind of easy method of identifying them individually. A serial number on the back of the neck or a radio transponder or something.

[@fredricbodhamn9182]

Crowley9 well one was blonde and had emotions... and the other wasn't... don't question our methods of identification...

[@Ebolallama]

John Smith and David was supposed to be gone. Still strange how they decided to make them look like one another when it easily could've been prevented

[@I_am_a_cat_]

Because ridley Scott's writing, that's why

[@zenbrown7144]

Dumbass one of them has emotions. Easily identified.

[@rowmagnvs]

**Activists begin to flood the streets protesting the lack of diversity in androids.**

[@Dooger414]

Stretch anything out long enough, and the fabric will tear.

[@Koolkids922]

Domenic Serena your pants dont fit?

[@g.wilson536]

Domenic Serena What about Hulk's pants?

[@PatriotDank]

Domenic Serena Tell that to my student intern essays where I have to write 200 words

[@Thatguy7242]

Trevor Werner What? What the fuck does that mean? Do you have to write 200 words for an essay? Is 200 words so much that the topic is stretched? In that case what type of boring fucking topic do you have?

[@jayjaydeth]

I see your analogy and raise you taffy.

[@VarinderBhandal]

James Franco performance in this movie was lit as fuck.

[@burningloki8305]

Varinder Bhandal I wonder if he knew it was bad so he quit the movie or if they couldn't afford him for more than half the movie lol

[@XShadoWPaws]

Ridley Scott has this fucking annoying tenancy of trying to make Alien into Blade Runner, by which I mean he's desperately trying to make it into an allegory for the nature of humanity, really really badly. I find it way, WAY more annoying than Ridley Scott stealing Dan O'Bannon and Ronald Shusett's credit for creating Alien.

[@ZeacorZeppelin]

What pissed me off the most is where David ask Mother for music, he asks for "Das Rheingold act 2 entrance into Valhalla" Das Rheingold is only one act and "entrance to Valhalla" is at the end of the opera. If the film went so far to reference the opera, get the info right.

[@MarcAlcatraz]

*looks at spoiler warning with time stamp* damn thats like 90% of the video, this is the hardest decision of my life....

[@CrasherX2000]

Well the movie’s bad so I really don’t care

[@Ilmaricinema]

You missed nothing tbh. A shameful Alien ripoff MADE BY Ridley Scott himself.

[@thbtrinity7234]

Gotta do what ya gotta do...👍

[@VampageRampage]

"Let me do the fingering. You put your mouth here, and blow." I stood up and was like, "OH COME ON!" And then once David kisses him I said, "Well this makes way too much sense."

[@affablevagrant]

You forgot the part where David kills all of the Engineers, thus robbing us of ever learning why the Engineers hate humans. **spoiler alert**

[@r.alford3692]

But he doesn't kill all the engineers, just the ones on that planet.

[@Conns2239]

We still gotta find out how the Space Jockey got where it was with Davids eggs in the first film. So hold your horses.

[@Spooky799kil]

Affable Vagrant they hated humanity because we killed Jesus who happened to be an egineer.

[@jordangarcia465]

Spooky799kil *obviously*

[@norgepalm7315]

@@Spooky799kil lmfao

[@kresimirzvonko]

Worst part is after chestburster scene, alien stands up, and immediate david like he is some type of mother of him. And music didn't help either. Such a fantastic scene to ruin whole alien mytho.

[@user-kt3qs9ki8p]

I got a Nuclear Facepalm on that scene.

[@AVerySillySausage]

Actually lol'd. Can't believe Ridley Scott is that dumb.

[@jordangarcia465]

Species that is supposed to be obedient to a queen and no one else: "I like this guy, I shall raise my hands as my pledge of allegiance"

[@Brossicle1]

K

[@rowmagnvs]

I think it was just imitating him. It didn’t see it as a parent. David is artificial with no organic flesh. So it just copied the first moving thing it saw.

[@Irishlozcat]

My favorite parts of the movie were when the male characters say out of nowhere "hey that's my wife" and then not too long after they die. I swear you could make a drinking game out of this movie

[@dramamine755]

The-Adventures-Of-LoZ-Cat i think that happened twice. brava

[@coletrainhetrick]

Here's the thing about the walter/david thing at the end. His hair was cut perfectly like Walter's so it really, REALLY shouldn't have been David. Honestly it would be so much better if it really was Walter and he turned corrupt from David's words.

[@targetdemographic1257]

Coletrain Hetrick Still possible, there is no wound on his chin from being stabbed by the nail. But hey Scott may have just forgot, he is 80.

[@PersianPrincessify]

or david could've ripped out some of walter's "advanced" model, maybe revert him to a mind more like david's

[@YouSoSpice]

What words? "You blow, and I'll do the fingering"?

[@burnthechrome]

You know it is David because Walter can heal his wounds. Walter even healed himself after being stabbed through the neck, so there would be no need to staple his face cuts or bandage them.

[@russellhunter363]

YouSoSpice That sounds more sexual.

[@fauxteal8502]

I feel like Covenant did to Alien what Andromeda did to Mass Effect. Sure, it's a horrible disgrace for the whole franchise, but holy shit, it's so hilarious I had tears of laughter the whole way through it.

[@eamk887]

But... MEA was good... :P

[@fauxteal8502]

God, I hope that's sarcasm

[@RacinZilla003]

Edward Tigersoul "I enjoyed it," is different from, "It's good."

[@Deadsnake989]

@RacinZilla003 Agreed. I enjoyed MEA because I thought the combat was fun. Literally every other aspect of the game was as satisfying as a cryopod failure though.

[@otimo144]

wth are you talking about? Mass Effect Andromeda was a great game. I mean EA actually invested in a triple A big budget parody game... that takes gut.

[@qBuju]

How did the guy who got acid on his face survive that? Didnt the acid melt through all the floors in Alien ? Like how did it not go through the meat.

[@Alondro77]

How dare you ask for continuity! These movies aren't meant to make sense! ;D

[@dubiousfizzgig5416]

Not to be a complete nerd, but it really does depend on the composition of the acid. I'm pretty sure there are acids that more quickly would dissolve something inorganic or at least react differently. kzbin.info/www/bejne/h368onmFadZ3aKc

[@Gibbypastrami]

well, the aliens in this movie are earlier in their evolution, so the acid isnt as potent yet, at least thats what i imagine Scott was going for

[@mcmasters1484]

THE MEAT

[@tilemacro]

@@Gibbypastrami I think you see more depth in this movie than the director...

[@moregasmthepowerful2959]

Quick science point. Neutrino's are particles that practically never collide with anything. There are currently thousands of Neutrinos passing through you right now but they nearly never interact with matter. Your first Neutrio collision occurs when you're about 14, that's how unresponsive they are. So, for a Neutrio burst from a distant star to cause an overload in the super high-tech space-sails, the quantity of Neutrinos would have to be so impossibly large, the number doesn't bear thinking about. Such numbers of Neutrinos don't occur in any known cosmological events, even Supernovae, so this plot initiation point is just silly.

[@goosegoose5361]

Moregasm the Powerful note: they have no charge and an extremely small mass

[@Megamando93]

Moregasm the Powerful maybe the neutrinos mutated? /s

[@fuckenps3]

It was just a science jargon plot device, you're not supposed to take it seriously.

[@moregasmthepowerful2959]

I disagree, in Science Fiction, Science is going to be present. And when choosing to use real world science, they should do their research.

[@definitelynotofficial7350]

I thought it was supposed to be a neutron star explosion or collision or something? Idk.

[@LenFreak]

Hey Adum, will you ever make a video on 13 Reasons Why? I noticed that you gave it a 2/10 on iMDB and I'd like to hear an in depth review from you on it.

[@WaterParkGuy]

The WTFreak Yesss! That show is so overrated!

[@alexvietzke6027]

The WTFreak I second this, the resistance needs a voice.

[@lucasrendon4182]

The WTFreak im in it as an extra. its filmed at a hs 15 min from me god i wish i didnt now though.

[@aydinfjeldsted9716]

The WTFreak that would be hilarious. As someone who has seen the show, it had potential to deal with a serious issue but I was disappointed and it reminds me of Cyberbully in someways. This would be a fantastic review

[@1997residente]

Adam probably hated the thematics about bullying and sexual abuse,as well as the main character and her motivations...remember,if he hates one single character he will probably hate the whole story. He is pretty demanding at the moment of originality,characterization and motivations...that's why he can't enjoy many Blockbusters or tv shows...or movies in general.

[@voydnaught1397]

"Got your nose." Alien: Covenant in one sentence. Tragically bad movie.

[@Arklay_Ishimura]

That's the term I've been mentally searching for since I saw the film lol. Tragically bad.

[@charlesvan13]

I'll do the fingering.

[@cassiuseagen4207]

"also the captain was james franco for some reason." hahahah that's exactly what i thought

[@SCARFACE9511]

the scene that made me go "Wtf" was when the first guy was spazzing out and the lady locked in the room walks up to him, and FREAKIN HUGS HIM! I was like "Wtf?!? this guy is shaking, screaming and spitting up blood and this lady walks up to him and HUGS HIM!?! WHYY??" but once his bones cracks from his back she then backs up scared and I was like "No duh lady!! what do you think was happening!?!"

[@brambrouwer535]

I actually thought that she wanted to look at his back without directly facing it, I think it makes more sence

[@SCARFACE9511]

Bram Brouwer too bad she didn't lol she hugs trying to comfort him or something then boom. alien comes out. but the alien chargers to her, she kicks it while holding the knife, but as the alien charges the second time she uses her other elbow and arm to shake off the alien without stabbing it. Smooth.

[@SCARFACE9511]

Bram Brouwer exactly man! I can't believe they didn't even think of that but the audience and fans does

[@davidwick709]

I think the hugging was her trying to prevent him from shaking.

[@SCARFACE9511]

ZephyrusFS haha well that didn't work clearly xD

[@ApocalypseMoose]

I will say this was better than the first After Earth.

[@alt0799]

Haha RLM reference I clapped etc etc.

[@KimbroEntertainment]

I'm pretty sure there is only one After Earth...

[@alt0799]

Instant.Michael​ Bad joke. Just leave it.

[@KimbroEntertainment]

k

[@KimbroEntertainment]

After Earth will never be as good as Suicide Squad and The Last Airbender

[@fernithenoface8988]

i got kicked out of the movie because i was laughing way too loud

[@johnstifter]

when your IQ is room temperature you get booted

[@russellhunter363]

ferni the no face You were too smart for the movie.

[@sole__doubt]

ferni the no face You must have been cackling like a maniac

[@umarhassan6490]

r/thathappened

[@norgepalm7315]

@@umarhassan6490 reddit is gay

[@jonasmcmillan]

That whole sequence with Daniel tied to the roof shooting at the alien and Danny McBride banging around that weird colliseum I was like, just fly vertical. Why are you driving this ship like a drunken sailor? Use the Y-axis!

[@coopj70]

I was laughing so hard when the one woman was shooting at the mini-alien near the front door of the ship and kinda just shot all the explosives, and blew up the ship. You could NOT fuck that up more

[@overlookers]

Hey Fam, Let's not wear spacesuits on this alien planet, I mean it has oxygen, airborne pathogens? pffft you're crazy. Also make sure we don't have a contamination protocol for the Med-Bay :/

[@dooplon5083]

overlookers Apparently said protocol was just "lock it up"

[@SilverSurfer166]

I thought David hated humanity because his father made him serve him tea that one time in the opening.

[@skinnyman]

"I'll do the fingering" If you've ever had clarinet/flute/sax lessons, you'd know that's a genuine thing.

[@graveyardrat7666]

skinnyman yeah

[@Zanaki113]

And if you ever tried to pick up on context clues you'd clearly see it was put in as a sexual tension. Walter and David were 'gay'.

[@d3sign3rmom]

Zanaki I don't think they were gay. David has emotions but tries to understand love. Walter was asexual.

[@pillgrimm]

skinnyman For clarinet, there's also a thing called "tonguing" that exists

[@atomicdancer]

I've taken sax lessons, and I'm really good at fingering

[@MrTrebleCleff]

Oh my god was there REALLY fucking Audi product placement?

[@salehali9541]

MrTrebleCleff the fact there is so much Audi product placement in many many many big movies especially Marvel really annoys me, I like cars and I like Audis but fuck they have shitty marketers

[@VocalMusicMinority]

Whenever your ship experiences a power surge you get james franco as a captain

[@alvinderama3196]

Its funny that the reason some people dying in Alien Covenant is due to their own stupidity.

[@puzzlebawce795]

Alvin De Rama news flash water=wet.....

[@DreamPurpleFloyd]

8:50 I'm glad I'm not the only one who found the slipping on blood scene hilarious. People where giving me confused look in the theater.

[@JeffHoliday]

I am so glad you made this. This movie was like getting stabbed in the face with everything you love carved into a knife.

[@melaniewhorehouse5297]

ey boi

[@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017]

I think this movie and many others have signaled to the youngsters out there that all the old ideas have been raped to death and it's time for a total reboot of science fiction and Hollywood generally.

[@chrisdooley6468]

Best description of this I’ve read. Made me so sad and made me appreciate Prometheus even more

[@goodbyecruelworld8857]

I T ' S B E E N 1 7 Y E A R S

[@definitelynotofficial7350]

There's nothing you can do to make me change my mind. Goodbye.

[@KatieVanHelsing]

I kid you not, when I saw Prometheus, the bit at the very end, where the baby Xenomorph pops up and then cuts to black, followed by the credits. I said aloud, in a crowded theatre, "You have GOT to be KIDDING me!" The theatre laughed. Thats when I knew that movie was in trouble.

[@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017]

It's painful watching your childhood icons being destroyed one by one. Ridley Scott is a genius director turned wrecking ball in his old age. Someone needs to take away his director's chair for good.

[@supernintendochalmers3385]

Xenomorphs are an icon of your childhood?

[@puzzlebawce795]

Well we're talking about another movie. Try to keep up.....

[@PyramidHACK]

You need to back the fuck up.

[@jordangarcia465]

*Deacon

[@slyfox3333]

Umm... The flute scene was obviously there to show the difference between the 2 androids. It showed that David could create while the other couldnt.

[@KenzLovesMovies]

slyfox3333 it also existed to show David REEEEAAAALLLYYYY wanted to fuck an android that looked like him.

[@1r0zz]

+hyperRainbowLand that would make David even more evolved and fucked up if he can understand and produce sexual needs (and perverted ones at that, as considering oneself as the object of desire is fucked up) it would mean that he is creating a human-like Id structures.

[@jeangreffsbp]

slyfox3333 actually when you consider that the Alien Queen is pictured in Prometheus,it means David knows how to create,but its still a imitation,he wants to be god,but in the end he still a robot,only imitating

[@geert574]

Walter is proven the superior model throughout movie, David is essentially a broken robot and not a God was the message. His creation therefore is flawed too and he reinvents the wheel with no originality.

[@ANIMALFLYER456]

When I went to see the movie, I was the only person in a 200 seated room, so I was just shouting 'run bitch' or ' pick up a gun moron' and laughing the whole time

[@RandomKidddo]

>Quickie >18+ min. I'm sure he loved it.

[@forentertainment3259]

RandomKidddo It doesn't even say quickie

[@SomersBugtopia]

Good job, proud of you, fantastic.

[@ripthischannel5947]

Damn straight :p

[@thedominomaster101]

>getting things wrong >others correct you >dont change it >use greentext

[@shredded__ham]

RandomKidddo I mean he did say on twitter that it would be a quickie

[@paulaburrows8660]

A story that tried to be deep but, just had deeply stupid characters.

[@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017]

Same deal for Prometheus. Such a fucking travesty. I wanted to punch Shaw in the face most of the time. "I believe because I choose to." Puke.

[@1997residente]

Cof cof *Star wars prequels*

[@JarodM]

Yes.

[@callmetony4399]

you know the alien characters are stupid when the most competent character is danny mcbride

[@quintincunningham242]

Ridley Scott is the next George Lucas *and I mean this in a bad way.

[@yutrops2193]

Imagine how shitty blade runner 2049 would be if Ridley Scott was the director

[@DarkAngelEU]

Have you read George Lucas' original scripts for the third trilogy of Star Wars? It's actually genius. Ridley Scott is not a genius, tho.

[@irwinisidro]

Ridley Scott only got lucky with Alien and Blade Runner only because the scripts were good and he’s not a writer. But whenever he starts a project on his own they come out generic or just bad.

[@independentrecord1739]

I don't think you could mean that in a good way anyway.

[@MrSolidBlakeGaming]

irwinisidro this is proved watching how many cuts of blade runner has edited and released

[@reddseth9733]

why cant the xenomorph just join in on the sex scene bruh

[@Sm0k3turt]

THANK YOU

[@potaterjim]

You know what the problem is? In old Alien, you had the plot moved when smart people dealt with a problem. Even breaking the quarantine in the beginning was a clever scene: it sets up Ripley as the villain, which gets inverted later. In Prometheus and covenant, the plot can't move forward until someone does something really stupid. The company that set out to find alien life refuses to tell anyone until they get there. The scientist who made the map gets lost. The colonists trying to find a new home just stomp around an alien planet inhaling all the foreign bacteria. The guy who didn't trust Michael Fassbender follows him into an obvious trap. Hell, even the engineers are stupid: the one that gets woken up doesn't use this advanced ship to just shoot down the enemy ship on a collision course. And then when he crashes, he for some reason wastes time to go throttle a lady by hand. These guys don't have guns? Or weapons? Or anything? Their entire defense relies on mutution goo?

[@commissarmacksimoose4394]

i found a plot hole (yay) you can see a xenomorph skull in predator 2 on a trophy rack, predator 2 is set in 1997 so by that point david couldn't have made the modern alien yet, so this means ridley scott is stupid or the predators can time travel

[@schlimetime4938]

Or Ridley is retconning it cause that shit wasjust dumb.

[@epicwaba6424]

Commissar Macksimoose Those movies aren't canon. It's been confirmed.

[@commissarmacksimoose4394]

oh yeah, that makes sense also

[@commissarmacksimoose4394]

hey wait nah, you can see in covenant that the original alien, the weird fleshy one, was part of a bio disease made by the space jockeys and perfected by david, chances are the space jockey was killed by the old kind of alien made by themselves

[@jakedubiel8483]

Commissar Macksimoose actually it was the skull of a Decon (the thing from the end of Prometheus) they existed way before davids time

[@CloudyAviation]

I was visibly angry in the theater, mainly because I expect so much out of Ridley Scott.

[@MrMarioguy888]

I imagine this is how Ridley Scott conceptualized Alien Covenant: 'I've been given the chance to make another Alien film, Alien? Oh yeah, that was a film I made. *Watches Alien* 'I'll just remake that film, and then people will love the film as people didn't like Prometheus because there were no aliens, right?'.

[@NukeDetonator]

It was the simple fact that he practically threw away the most redeeming qualities, aspects, and ideas that were presented in prometheus. I wanted answers, but instead he just killed their race along with all the answers in seconds of screen time and kills Shaw off screen. Fuck you too Ridley.

[@certaindoom1027]

ridley scott did not write the movie he directed it

[@bornon18]

Why? He mostly sucks these days. The only decent movie he made during the last decade was... Umm, Prometheus actually.

[@certaindoom1027]

what do you think is wrong with his movies?

[@evangilio6711]

that feeling when youre watching past yms videos and he just uploads out of nowhere at the same time

[@condrad9449]

it has been years and I still can't believe that woman left that other woman to die with the guy with an alien inside of him

[@shawnsears7590]

This movie sucked. Its plot is that of a B movie slasher flick. People doing incredibly stupid things and getting killed by the monster/psychopath. I personally find it difficult to enjoy a film where nearly every character is an idiot. Short list of stupid actions and decisions: * Not using the shuttle airlock upon landing. * Exploring an alien planet without a vacc suit. * Letting a guy puking black goo from his lungs back into the ship without quarantine. * Not vigorously debriefing David as soon as they got to the city. * Allowing a woman to go off by herself (who gets killed). * To be followed by the captain who goes searching for her by himself (and gets killed). * To be followed by yet ANOTHER woman searching for the two missing people by herself. * The captain is ready to put a bullet in David at one point but 5 minutes later puts his face in front of a face-hugger pod simply because David says so. * Not fully debriefing Walter/David before going into cryo-sleep. * Not broadcasting an incident report before going into cryo-sleep. * Not installing a hazard beacon in orbit. * Not waking up some of the settlers to search and decontaminate every inch or the ship.

[@WMICx]

I imagine adam using windows movie maker for all his previous videos

[@donm1719]

WMICx Sony vegas

[@MajerHawk]

You and redlettermedia for movie reviews are the only honest reviews I watch

[@un-capital3666]

+Trenton D >No moisture meter

[@deltoroperdedor3166]

UN-Capital my butthole, Edd

[@un-capital3666]

Wut

[@deltoroperdedor3166]

A mind is a terrible organ to shovel!

[@un-capital3666]

+DelToro Perdedor That's disturbing.

[@acarolinalobato]

I remember that when James Franco's charred body was ejected into space, I just burst out laughing (alone) in the theater. lol

[@TheTrueChuster]

Oh, man, I loved that scene where the tiny Alien appeard as a full grown Xenomorph but in pocket size and did that Randy Orton taunt...

[@Sm0k3turt]

Insane.

[@Telic]

I can just imagine Adam laughing over everyone in the theater in a moment where everyone else in the theater is gasping lol

[@tomboz777]

Most obvious ending in cinematic history.

[@ruden64]

Bunny in the Box You're not wrong.

[@LadyFan05]

I love the way Adum paraphrases the dialogue between the characters! It's amazing! 🤣🤣🤣

[@kubia990]

Everyone in the theater literally laughed out loud when David told the captain to look in the pod. It was great.

[@xbulmiruwu6030]

This background music reminds me of Destroy All Humans.

[@tigertim620]

Romeo Kim I thought I was the only that thought of that!!!

[@HGShurtugal]

Wort wort wort.

[@JFKHaircut]

Werg werg werg.

[@FangedBeauty]

I fricking love the cheap bossa nova jazz you play in the background

[@catcher881]

2:53 that sentence scratched my brain in a very nice way. Thank you adum

[@luc9450]

I feel like the plants that make you turn into an alien are way more efficient than the face huggers. I mean think about it: you go for a wee and step on some plant shit, boom you hoste an alien. With the facehuggers you gotta go in a cave or something, go to a weird looking egg, let a facehugger get you, he lays an egg or something in your stomach, stomachburst alien shit comes out and eventually grows.(sorry if I didn't get everything right, I never really gave a shit about alien)

[@Arklay_Ishimura]

Well you don't necessarily have to go into a cave. Keep in mind that face huggers are actually bio weapons intended to be dropped by Engineer Bombers onto precise intergalactic targets.

[@Sm0k3turt]

They didn’t actually care about making an interesting prequel. They just sat in a room and were like “WHAT IF, instead of an actual sensible life cycle. You just breathe in some nasty plant and then die in a much worse way than the original” wow nice. It just feels like they wanted to one up the original. Which isn’t really possible. That chestburster scene is fucking amazing

[@luc9450]

@@Sm0k3turt it is indeed

[@Sm0k3turt]

@@luc9450 I am really hoping that Fede Alvarez is gonna try to fix this mess lol. As a xenomorph, Disney and fox make me sad.

[@luc9450]

@@Sm0k3turt yeah, just gotta hope for the best I guess…

[@blahtomyblah]

i missed you daddy

[@naivenitara]

Michael Fassbender: I'll do the finerging Michael Fassbender 2 (and me): Make it so, Number One

[@scarqarly3265]

"There's a plasma storm in the thermosphere"

[@Beforethecredits]

I was super excited to see this movie.

[@MrBeastknows]

Before The Credits You should still see it. I love Adam, but half of this review is retarded. Literally half of his points here is him misunderstanding or not giving a shit to understand in the first place. Go in knowing David is CLEARLY the protagonist, then you should understand everything Adam doesn't and come out with quite a better experience. Many of the concepts and ideas explored in the film are profound and deeply interesting. Note thay sadly, it just wasn't done as good as it deserved. Its an decent and enjoyable film, with great concepts but a couple glaringly stupid character moments.

[@MrBeastknows]

I'm fucking retarded. I wasted all that time when all I had to do was reread your comment instead of misunderstand. I'm fucking retarded. I apologize. I had to delete that comment to save embarrassment. But I will admit I'm clearly retarded.

[@Beforethecredits]

Shane, respect. Not many people can admit a mistake.

[@the_pathologist]

Same. Operative word being "was."

[@Sm0k3turt]

I also WAS excited. With time I’ve realized that I’d much rather watch the original again. Or even Prometheus

[@6abial]

But why would he just toss a lit cigarette on some uninhabited planet that no one knows anything about??

[@drakejohnson2607]

For some reason at 0:43, Adum saying "I was able to enjoy it as a comedy" and Fassbender's head turn matched perfectly.

[@drakejohnson2607]

And at 2:19. I guess that head turn just works perfectly with everything Adum says.

[@hiimorla]

As soon as David cut his hair, I KNEW there was gonna be some switch up scene

[@lilsneed4334]

holy shit an actual video

[@peiocamara2410]

When they go to the new planet they clearly say that its a better planet than the planeta they were searching for

[@user-qo6dh2ot4h]

This is a grumpy work of art, hope somebody puts the actual footage over it when the blu-ray comes out. That's the only reason to be excited for that release.

[@DrFrankenMax]

You know what really takes me out of a KZbin video's universe? When footage isn't available. ...And when notifications are enabled.

[@Dylanquinn666]

Shitty movie, and I saw the ending twist coming a mile away, but I really enjoyed the "Don't let the bed bugs bite" line. I was one of the minority who actually liked Prometheus and wanted to see where it went, but after this shit-show I'm done with this franchise. So much potential squandered.

[@Megamando93]

Dylan Quinn they really annoyed me with how they just tossed aside Shaw. There was potential in her and David's travel and they really let me down with that.

[@Dylanquinn666]

+Senhor Spinelli It's not that's it's "not what I wanted", I actually really enjoyed the underlying philosophical themes. It was just that it was handled really poorly. He's going full George Lucas. +Jake Connelly I agree. She was a great character and deserved to be used better.

[@PaterTenebrarum1]

Dylan Quinn Funny enough, the more time passes, the more people are popping up to confess that they actually liked Prometheus. Some are coming around after watching it a second time. To be sure, it had its share of weaknesses... but I actually liked it as well and would also have preferred if that story had been built on. I think that's what Scott originally wanted to do, but because so many people initially complained about Prometheus, he decided to give birth to this abomination instead.

[@Sm0k3turt]

What’s worse is that those 20th anniversary shorts were the best alien material in years. And then we will never get anything again.

[@SquidwardAF]

You didn't say anything about NEUTRINO DAMAGING THE SHIP. Is this youmoviesucks or idontcareaboutphysics in movies?

[@Alondro77]

If critics went into every single point the movie's science was wrong, we'd be here until next century. But most sci-fi these days is lazy crap. My god, the "Life" movie... holy hell was that laughably awful.

[@khartog01]

The guy who put his face in the alien pod was a marine. Apparently some of the crew were supposed to be former marines. I guess none of them suggest doing any recon or secure the area while the whole bridge crew wanders off star trek landing party style.

[@Howesenberg]

'The editors tying to DM me while I'm watching the film' - that is a crazy interesting way to look at it. I like you.

[@raptor15sc]

Daniels controls the big claw, not Tennessee (Danny McBride). Tennessee only releases it from its storage position so that Daniels can use it.

[@Hazztech]

you'd think they'd put more effort into the firearms props rather than just an Aug with a rail kit

[@felonytaxevasion2773]

Yeah They had way better props like 30+ years ago, the pulse rifles where cool asf

[@mijxero]

That "got your nose" bit was great lol

[@LoryskaEntertainment]

Did anyone else notice the reference to Arnold Böcklin's painting "Isle of the Dead?" When David was showing Walter Shaw's grave, the camera zooms out and the scene appears very similar to the painting.

[@cofkavos]

It was kind of shit. My dad fell asleep after around 20 minutes (he woke up before the "cool" stuff began) while my sister and I were genuinely interested with the choices of editing. It did seem like more of a comedy than anything. It took itself too seriously. I honestly forgot about that women closing the door on her foot. Also, of course the scene with just Walter and David was oddly sexual. They kissed during another awkward exchange. There was also a really weird choice made when the chestburster stood from the captain. It looked like a tiny full grown Xenomorph. When those doods are born, they bolt right after due to being vulnerable. That scene of those small Xenomorphs attacking the crew shouldn't have happened for a longer amount of time.

[@thebatbag]

The whole time I was watching that movie, It bugged me how many times they each went off by themselves, like wtf. They're on an alien planet and they don't know what's really out there.

[@derkeheath5172]

It was right around the time of the shower scene that I realized that no one involved in this movie had even a modicum of respect for the audience or the original film.

[@thekingofsorrianthum2635]

I like how they named it Alien: Covenant. It's already halarious that you named it after the SHIP but now you're going to tell me I SHOULDN'T think about watching streamers come out of Halo Grunt heads and Master Chief saving the whole ship.