Making Peace with the Inner Critic

[@DocSnipes]

👌More videos can be found on this topic at kzbin.info/aero/PLcB3trehXswhx4Bj8f4ka1AzyYDkjKmaM&si=KQQNmHteUVTbDdaA ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification

[@dee0731]

Thank you Doc Snipes, the inner critic can be so detrimental, I have to challenge it everyday. Thank you for this perfect timing for me to hear! 🙌🏻☀️

[@nocturne6548]

I have a harsch inner critic, so much so I thought I was either schizophrenic or bipolar. However I suspected it was just another symptom of my cptsd. I'm very grateful for you posting this video, thank you!

[@anitach5901]

I like this expression ,,If You friend said that what are You talking to Yourself for how much longer would that person still be Your friend.? '' I also realized ,that when we are critical to ourselves , we are also critical to others . Thanks for this great knowledge.

[@Saras232]

I appreciate you so much and others like you because so many of us would be stuck for another decade in depression, self sacrifice, and critical thinking. Your videos have helped me more than I can say..thank you so much.

[@DocSnipes]

I'm so glad to hear that. Thanks for being here and being a part of the channel.

[@DocSnipes]

You can join the Telegram channel, if you like. t.me/docsnipesfans

[@elizabethg9346]

This is one of the best videos that you have done in terms of one of my biggest problems! Why beat yourself up (there are enough other people who will do that to you without doing it to yourself (as it were)). My inner critic has given me hell and made me angry with myself (not constructive!!) throughout my life! Not on topic, but I just passed through Nashville and saw Lebanon on the map and thought of you! Visiting from the U.K. after not being able to do so for nearly two years! Have a great day.

[@DocSnipes]

Glad this video was helpful. You passed a few miles from me! I do wish I had more chances to meet my subscribers... Alas, KZbin fans are a pretty spread out group.

[@johndonlon7780]

I really like Dawn-Elise's energy very much. And really touched by her humanity and vulnerability. Internal Family Systems therapy has many affinities with Dawn-Elise's insights and responses to our inner critics. We change and transform as people. Our parts, including our critics, are parts of us who are people - or may be energies not intrinsic to us, of others', our parts have absorbed from outside of themselves. There can be a kind undoing and relearning of our parts' for them to come into being in different ways, that are not so unhelpful. Mark Nepo called it in a poem, "unlearning our way back to God," as parts unlearn some of the unhelpful things they have learned, and coming back to their own true essence, and from there, relearning how to come into being, in kinder, more resourceful, wiser, more compassionate, creative, playful, and courageous (in line with truth) ways. And as Dawn mentions IFS - I love her affinities, and her wisdom coming through, in spirit in essence. And also I really love the feeling that Dawn-Elise conveys that this is a journey. Very grateful for Dawn-Elise's presence and gift.

[@DocSnipes]

I am so grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What tips would you use first to make peace with the inner critic?

[@johndonlon7780]

@@DocSnipes Thank you for asking! Here are some suggestions. 1) We need to get into Self-In-Presence, and come out of that place in the core of us, some people call Self, or higher Self, that has the qualities of Compassion, Curiosity and Courage; and we need to come from this compassionate, curious, courageous Place...because our parts are people - including our Inner Critic - and if we approach a Part from another Part - especially if the Part does not like the Critic, wants to change the critic, or has some agenda and is incapable of meeting the Critic as it is in its rawness - the Critic - just as we do as people when someone approaches us who really doesn't truly like us from who we are - will probably harden and become enmeshed against the Part with an agenda - as the Critic will then enter into Polarity with another Part - and as the Critic and other Part stand off against each other...the Polarity can remain, and our system can stay enmeshed for years and decades. We need to learn to get into Self-in-Presence, and be with our Critical Part(s), and Parts that are Polarised with it, and work not only with the Critic but also work with the other Parts around it: So we need to work systematically. This is working with individual parts in their own right, and in their relationships with each other; which is more complex than working with only one part. Even if we are with someone we love, and someone enters the room who doesn't really like us - because they are in the same energy field, that will affect us. We may be with the person we love, and still harden our heart a little, because there is an unfriendly presence in the vacinity. So too, in our inner world, even if we may be in Self in presence in relationship with our inner critic - if there is another part in our system who out rightly doesn't like the critic and stands against it - that other part is still in the energy field...and will be a part who is still polarised against the inner critic - and the critic most likely will harden and be enmeshed against that part - in a polarity - which can remain for years and decades - as I say; so really the most compassionate and wise approach, is to work around the system, systematically, with all parts, from Self-in-Presence. 2) As part of the complex Journey of working with our inner critic...We need to learn as we get into Self-in-presence in relationship with our critic, we will need to learn from the Critical Part, how it has come into being. All our experiences are learned in an interpersonal situation. When our parts experience trauma, our vulnerable parts can be very wounded indeed; and protective parts come in, to protect our vulnerable parts. Our Inner Critics are very very very often Protective Parts. Their Focus is usually very limited. And their agenda is often that the trauma should "never happen again." They often over-protect in ways which can be quite ferocious. And they can "protect" vulnerable parts using strategies they have learned interpersonally from others - which are so hugely over-protective they use the same wounding strategies others have employed on our vulnerable parts. In a sense the critics are carrying the shock of those traumatic experiences too; they too have been impacted and have often sworn "never again" will those traumatic experiences happen. Their strategies can be so extreme, so wounding, so devestating, that to other parts, those strategies can seem demented. "How or why would you protect someone by shutting them down? Shaming them? Damning them? Unrelentingly cursing them?" The strategy can seem to other parts quite mad. And this is indicative of the massive over-protective strategy and limited Focus of the Part adopting a critical strategy, who has not the broad focus to see the goodness of the part it is intending to guard against the trauma experience - or possibility of the experience in the present or future - ever happening again. This is often its only available strategy. And it can be absolutely relentless - often activated by the good qualities of the original vulnerable part it is trying to "protect" in the severest of ways in its limited Focus. Because of the challenge of this work, the being with parts is really really best done with the help of a very compassionate experienced therapist, who will follow your parts' experiences just like the people they are, and with huge love and respect, and curiosity... and when and if you arrive at those places Parts learned and took on critical strategies...if in therapy you can be with them from Self-in-Presence, show them deep empathy, help the polarised parts around them relax - and work with them also systematically... then the possibility of good therapy, is that your system can come into a new way of being. As this is so individual for each person, it really is a case - in my experience, of someone very present, compassionate, and curious, "walking with you," and in a sense being led by you - and your parts - so that your parts, with You in Self-in-Presence, can in a way so that they can indeed "unlearn their way back to God," to their original good source of their own being and identity and energy...and from this place of who our parts truly are...relearn how to come into being.... This is true for our Vulnerable Parts. And once this is possible for our Vulnerable Parts, for the Critical Parts, who are ferociously and previously unmovably defending and protecting those Vulnerable Parts, often in the most unhelpful of ways. Being with our parts from Self in Presence is how wisdom and creative resources are born into our systems in connected ways with all of our parts - and we begin to take a new shape - as our system and parts realign with the sunshine of Self-in-Presence in the centre of our parts, so that our parts, as people, can in this good light, become who they were born to be, and self-actualise. Because this is complex and unique to every system, the answer often lies in following every individual system to their own solution and profoundly true way of being as it is for them.

[@johndonlon7780]

especially if the Part does not like the Critic, wants to change the critic, or has some agenda and is incapable of meeting the Critic as it is in its rawness - the Critic - just as we do as people when someone approaches us who really doesn't truly like us from who we are - will probably harden and become enmeshed against the Part with an agenda - as the Critic will then enter into Polarity with another Part - and as the Critic and other Part stand off against each other...the Polarity can remain, and our system can stay enmeshed for years and decades. We need to learn to get into Self-in-Presence, and be with our Critical Part(s), and Parts that are Polarised with it, and work not only with the Critic but also work with the other Parts around it: So we need to work systematically. This is working with individual parts in their own right, and in their relationships with each other; which is more complex than working with only one part. Even if we are with someone we love, and someone enters the room who doesn't really like us - because they are in the same energy field, that will affect us. We may be with the person we love, and still harden our heart a little, because there is an unfriendly presence in the vacinity. So too, in our inner world, even if we may be in Self in presence in relationship with our inner critic - if there is another part in our system who out rightly doesn't like the critic and stands against it - that other part is still in the energy field...and will be a part who is still polarised against the inner critic - and the critic most likely will harden and be enmeshed against that part - in a polarity - which can remain for years and decades - as I say; so really the most compassionate and wise approach, is to work around the system, systematically, with all parts, from Self-in-Presence. 2) As part of the complex Journey of working with our inner critic...We need to learn as we get into Self-in-presence in relationship with our critic, we will need to learn from the Critical Part, how it has come into being. All our experiences are learned in an interpersonal situation. When our parts experience trauma, our vulnerable parts can be very wounded indeed; and protective parts come in, to protect our vulnerable parts. Our Inner Critics are very very very often Protective Parts. Their Focus is usually very limited. And their agenda is often that the trauma should "never happen again." They often over-protect in ways which can be quite ferocious. And they can "protect" vulnerable parts using strategies they have learned interpersonally from others - which are so hugely over-protective they use the same wounding strategies others have employed on our vulnerable parts. In a sense the critics are carrying the shock of those traumatic experiences too; they too have been impacted and have often sworn "never again" will those traumatic experiences happen. Their strategies can be so extreme, so wounding, so devestating, that to other parts, those strategies can seem demented. "How or why would you protect someone by shutting them down? Shaming them? Damning them? Unrelentingly cursing them?" The strategy can seem to other parts quite mad. And this is indicative of the massive over-protective strategy and limited Focus of the Part adopting a critical strategy, who has not the broad focus to see the goodness of the part it is intending to guard against the trauma experience - or possibility of the experience in the present or future - ever happening again. This is often its only available strategy. And it can be absolutely relentless - often activated by the good qualities of the original vulnerable part it is trying to "protect" in the severest of ways in its limited Focus. Because of the challenge of this work, the being with parts is really really best done with the help of a very compassionate experienced therapist, who will follow your parts' experiences just like the people they are, and with huge love and respect, and curiosity... and when and if you arrive at those places Parts learned and took on critical strategies...if in therapy you can be with them from Self-in-Presence, show them deep empathy, help the polarised parts around them relax - and work with them also systematically... then the possibility of good therapy, is that your system can come into a new way of being. As this is so individual for each person, it really is a case - in my experience, of someone very present, compassionate, and curious, "walking with you," and in a sense being led by you - and your parts - so that your parts, with You in Self-in-Presence, can in a way so that they can indeed "unlearn their way back to God," to their original good source of their own being and identity and energy...and from this place of who our parts truly are...relearn how to come into being.... This is true for our Vulnerable Parts. And once this is possible for our Vulnerable Parts, for the Critical Parts, who are ferociously and previously unmovably defending and protecting those Vulnerable Parts, often in the most unhelpful of ways. Being with our parts from Self in Presence is how wisdom and creative resources are born into our systems in connected ways with all of our parts - and we begin to take a new shape - as our system and parts realign with the sunshine of Self-in-Presence in the centre of our parts, so that our parts, as people, can in this good light, become who they were born to be, and self-actualise. Because this is complex and unique to every system, the answer often lies in following every individual system to their own solution and profoundly true way of being as it is for them.

[@potterg04]

I really appreciate your indept lesson on this important topic God bless you and your family

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@phecphec3817]

Thank you Dr. Snipes! You're the best!

[@DocSnipes]

My pleasure!

[@googleboogle8992]

I love this channel so much! Thank you for helping me not only with my own self, but with my ability to help others I work with🙏❤️

[@DocSnipes]

Aww... Thanks you for being here and for helping others.

[@InnerWorkGuideShobhali]

The idea of naming it to manage it better truly works wonders, and replacing 'I' with 'you' in critical thoughts is such a smart strategy to gain perspective. Reminding ourselves to question 'who says?' when we hear negative self-talk is empowering. Thank you for sharing these - your emphasis on self-compassion resonates deeply with me - it's crucial yet often overlooked.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. Thank you for watching the video

[@chanel123ful]

Your videos always put me in a good head space , thank you 💚

[@DocSnipes]

Wonderful.

[@TristineBarry]

As always...thank you Doc Snipes!!

[@DocSnipes]

Welcome

[@shaylabrown1101]

Thank you, I love your videos. I would NEVER say things to others that I say to myself it is a good trick to change the pronoun so you (I) can be aware of what I'm really saying to myself. I want to change it. I listen to "Inner critic to inner peace" subliminal messsages 8 minutes a day and it is helping and your videos help me a lot, I appreciate what you do and am on my way to loving myself.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@thaibxr3]

Thank you Doc Snipes! This session was an eye opener to behaviors I picked up along the way from family members, growing up. I truly appreciate the work you’re doing on KZbin and I think a lot of people do too! Hope you have an abundant success in life, cause you’re helping a lot of us.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for sharing. Wishing you, peace, health, and, happiness.🙂🙂🙂

[@CarlMassop]

Thanks doc I share your stuff all the time on my wall…. Good stuff

[@alinamoskalenko1905]

You’re freaking awesome!!! Thank you!!!

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. Thank you! I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What tips will you use first to start making peace with the inner critic?

[@katiet1496]

Amen and amen. Such good advice

[@aliabourida1303]

I love your videos. It feels like I am in a psychology class. You put so much knowledge out there and for free so thank you.

[@DocSnipes]

You are so welcome! Thank you for watching

[@attemptatlife25]

these videos are great and so helpful please keep them coming! :)

[@DocSnipes]

Ty

[@joaquinromolor8413]

Thank you Doctor.

[@DocSnipes]

Welcome

[@friarpesel5646]

Thank you so much for this information, it is actionable and helpful 😇

[@alinamoskalenko1905]

Thanks!

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What tips would you use first to make peace with the inner critic?

[@lisafanucchi5939]

I loved The Muppet Show!!! I remember the hecklers lol. Love your content…thank you!!!

[@DocSnipes]

You are so welcome! Thanks for watching.

[@qkwjz]

Statler and Waldorf, lol!!!

[@lisafanucchi5939]

@@qkwjz 🤣

[@CBTvMedia]

The absolute core of CBT.

[@adelacozlac366]

Great ideas, I neededthis!

[@DocSnipes]

Welcome

[@nighteternal91]

The inner critic is just a malicious voice that wants to convince you that you are not good enough. It wants you to believe that everybody else is better than you and you are a failure. It's easy to spiral down to these thoughts and beat yourself down. To be able to fight and defeat this voice, you should turn on your critical thinking and start doubting every negative thought about yourself. Remember how many times you have done things right, so you don't deserve such a bad treatment. Refuse to be your worst enemy and become your best friend! You are lovable!

[@amyelizabeth7880]

I was 14 when my step dad asked if I really needed a 2nd helping of dinner bc of the weight i had put on recently and as a 34 year old woman I have never forgotten those words and I still struggle with body image.

[@DocSnipes]

That’s a very hurtful thing to say to anyone, let alone a 14 year old child. I am sorry your step father said it to you and I am grateful for you being here and watching videos. What tips from the video will you use to silence your inner critic?

[@ambrosehunter5164]

Feelings aren't fact. They don't mind, cause we don't matter. Words don't change your thoughts. Thoughts change your words.

[@helcatbc]

@ 19:37 this is spot on

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. How will you start making peace with the inner critic? Other videos on the inner critic that might help you can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=critic

[@TheIsaacShin]

Thank you.

[@ekennahutchinson1636]

I like getting things right I also like progressing, my dyslexia and dyspraxia means my progress is a bumpy road 🛣️ Forward , I will over come this by making adjustments

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@blockmasterscott]

Man, I'm looking at your list, and BOY, I would NEVER tell a friend the stuff that my inner critic dogs me on. That would just be mean.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching. If you would never tell a friend the things you tell yourself, would you consider not telling them to yourself as well?

[@adelacozlac366]

❤❤❤

[@DocSnipes]

Ty

[@stephanyvaldez1698]

Hi! What was the tv show you mentioned that portrayed a nurturing family? I'd like to watch it 😁. Thanks!

[@mitchnidey2453]

The joy of the Lord is our strength. we walk by faith, not by sight. the battle is not ours, it's the Lords

[@saturn52]

The harsh inner critic has good intentions

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching

[@sdfibke]

My son ADHD he says he gets stressed talking on the phone is there any technics to resolve this issue?

[@DocSnipes]

Answered in today's Live Q&A that is running right now. Will be available on-demand in a bit.

[@lindahamilton8877]

If it doesn’t happen in the cat it doesn’t happen

[@mitchnidey2453]

Jesus said: if you love me, you will keep my commandments

[@scottj9765]

The self rejection part made a lot of difference, I think a lot of gay men are affected by this

[@DocSnipes]

I’m glad the self-rejection part resonated with you. It’s true that many gay men experience self-rejection due to societal pressures and internalized homophobia. Acknowledging this is a crucial step towards self-acceptance and healing.

[@levistanton4334]

Comment for the algorithm

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks. :)

[@lindahamilton8877]

There is no inner critic that’s a hallucination

[@PeverellTheThird]

It seems you don't understand metaphor

[@mitchnidey2453]

Yeshua is my Master. Addonai ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you. except ye repent, you shall all likewise perish Repent ye, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Job said: if I were to say I were perfect, i would be proven perverse Matthew 5:48 is important. Revelation 19:10 ....the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy

[@catherineconnor1266]

we

[@mitchnidey2453]

You don't want to be a lover of yourself more than you are a lover of God. the Bible warns against this very thing. God is love. love one another, even as Christ has loved you. love your enemies

[@aliabourida1303]

Thanks!

[@DoHisProphetsNoHarm]

Thanks!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for the tip!