Overcoming the scars of ACEs and parental alienation

[@oliverrojas3185]

Appreciate the metaphors fireman and manager This is really good.

[@MultiFreddy34]

They are IFS terms

[@111...]

I'll have to catch the replay, @Doctor Snipes. But, I must say, this topic is enormous for me. I can't afford you right now, but FWIW, I absolutely love your videos & so appreciate the invaluable information that you share here. Thank you is in NO WAY enough, but regardless, I can not do so enough. You're a beautiful being 💙

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate you watching videos on the channel and am grateful to have you as one of my subscribers. Also, I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from the video, after you have the time to watch it. Also, if you’re curious to learn more about this topic or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes.

[@GriffinWulf]

Thank you I've only found resources for the targeted parent and never the children

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. I am grateful to be of service. Also, I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from the video. Additionally, if you're interested in more tips on the topic or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes.

[@MartinMadrid-g4h]

My dad did this to my mom and I. I have deep resentment towards him and deep grief for my mother. That pain doesnt seem to go away, but self validating and being an attentive father myself helps.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I’m really sorry to hear about what you went through-it sounds incredibly painful. Parental alienation can leave deep emotional scars, and it’s completely understandable that you’re carrying both resentment and grief. It’s important to acknowledge that these feelings are a normal response to the hurt you’ve experienced. It’s wonderful to hear that self-validation and being an attentive father are helping you navigate through this pain. Showing up for yourself and your children the way you do is a powerful way to break the cycle and heal, even if the journey is ongoing. It’s also okay to still feel the weight of the grief and resentment, and sometimes working through these emotions with a therapist can bring more clarity and relief over time. You’re doing incredibly meaningful work by being there for your family in ways that maybe you didn’t experience. That’s something to be really proud of, even as you continue to process your own healing. Take care of yourself, and know that your journey matters. I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from it. Also, if you’re curious to learn more about this topic or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes.

[@peng1463]

Thank you so much for this. We are dealing with this currently, and your presentation was very informative and helpful.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. I am grateful to be of service. Thank you for watching the video! I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from the video. Additionally, if you're interested in more tips on the topic or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes.

[@sarahshaw-sehgal1146]

This is extremely relevant for me and I can’t wait to watch. Thank you ❤

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. I am grateful to be of service. Also, I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from the video. Additionally, if you're interested in more tips on the topic this or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes.

[@Beechnut2U]

This is spot on. My narcissistic ex totally alienated my child. It's been 15 years.😢

[@DocSnipes]

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been dealing with the pain of parental alienation for such a long time. Having your child alienated by a narcissistic ex is an incredibly difficult and heartbreaking situation, especially when it’s stretched over so many years. It’s a kind of grief that can feel never-ending, and I can only imagine the weight of those 15 years. One of the hardest things about narcissistic manipulation is the way it warps reality, making it so difficult for the child to see the truth. Narcissists are often very skilled at creating false narratives, leaving you feeling powerless to break through. Even though it's been a long time, it’s important to keep in mind that people can grow and gain new perspectives over time-especially as they move through different stages of life and begin to question the narratives they’ve been given. In the meantime, continuing to be a steady presence, even from afar, can be one of the most powerful things you do. If your child ever opens that door, even a little, having a relationship rooted in kindness and patience can help build trust. While it’s a long and painful road, maintaining hope for reconnection is crucial. You’re not alone in this, and many parents are in similar situations. I hope you continue to find strength and support as you navigate this challenging journey. Thank you for sharing your story-it’s important for others going through this to know they’re not alone. Also, I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from the video. Additionally, if you're interested in more tips on the topic or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes.

[@EmDionneify]

Got any videos on helping kiddos through it while it is still actively happening?

[@treasadavis1335]

Thank you

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome! Thank you for watching

[@luisjosepinto]

Parental alienation? Interesting.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you! I’d love to hear what you found most helpful from the video-your feedback is invaluable. If you’re interested in more tips on this topic or want to explore my full video library, feel free to use my Ai: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes.

[@Beechnut2U]

My child is an adult who was alienated beginning 15 years ago. While this info is great, my child will not go to any kind of therapy because she is still firmly entrenched in the brainwashed false reality. Any help on how to break through the brick wall of separation would be so, so helpful. This issue affects so many children and the targeted parents. Thank you for all you do.❤

[@DocSnipes]

I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing with your adult child who was alienated. Here are some strategies that might help you break through the separation and support your child: Understanding and Patience: Recognize that your child’s resistance to therapy and entrenched beliefs are a result of long-term alienation and brainwashing. It’s important to approach the situation with empathy and patience. Open Communication: Try to maintain open lines of communication without pushing too hard. Express your love and concern without criticizing or invalidating their feelings. This can help create a safe space for them to eventually open up. Education and Awareness: Educate yourself about the effects of alienation and brainwashing. Understanding the psychological impact can help you approach the situation more effectively. Resources like the Psychosocial Impact of Trauma can be helpful. Support Groups: Consider joining support groups for parents who have experienced similar situations. Sharing experiences and strategies with others who understand your situation can provide emotional support and practical advice. Indirect Support: Sometimes, indirect support can be more effective. Encourage activities that promote emotional well-being and self-awareness, such as journaling, mindfulness, or creative outlets. These can help your child process their feelings in a non-threatening way. Professional Guidance: While your child may resist therapy, you can still seek professional guidance for yourself. A therapist can provide you with strategies to cope with the situation and offer advice on how to best support your child. Consistency and Boundaries: Maintain consistent and healthy boundaries. Show that you are a stable and reliable presence in their life, which can help rebuild trust over time. I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from the video. Additionally, if you're interested in more tips on the topic or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes. Remember, healing from such deep-seated issues takes time, and progress may be slow. Your continued love, patience, and support are crucial in helping your child eventually see through the false reality they’ve been entrenched in.

[@anju8376]

i wonder what it's called when a parent dies and the other parent speaks badly about them to manipulate the children. it reminds me a lot of parental alienation; my abusive mother (undiagnosed BPD) speaks ill of my non-abusive dead father. as the older sibling i can see through her lies, but my younger sister w/ diagnosed BPD definitely has that stockholm-syndrome-like response to our mother and in adulthood has become a very violent abuser just like mom was. they are very codependent and toxic, while i have been scapegoated and estranged. i almost feel like my mother treats me like her spouse who she can fight with and blame since her actual husband is dead, so he's not as fun to target as i am.

[@rosemiangulo9233]

I'm sorry you're going through this.

[@DocSnipes]

What you're describing is a deeply painful and complex family dynamic, and I'm really sorry you've had to endure it. When a parent speaks ill of a deceased partner to manipulate the children, it can often fall under the umbrella of **parental alienation** or even **emotional abuse**, especially if it's done to distort the children's view of the other parent for control or to shift blame. This kind of behavior is especially devastating when the other parent is no longer alive to defend themselves or provide balance to the narrative. It sounds like your mother’s behavior toward you and your sister stems from a place of deep dysfunction, possibly related to her untreated mental health struggles, though that doesn’t excuse the hurtful impact on you and your sibling. In families where there’s a history of abuse, it’s not uncommon for one child to be scapegoated and another to be drawn into an unhealthy, enmeshed relationship with the abusive parent. Your sense that your mother is treating you like her spouse-someone to fight with, blame, and project her emotions onto-is a dynamic that can often develop when boundaries between parent and child become blurred, especially in the wake of significant loss. Your sister's relationship with your mother may be tied to trauma bonding, where the cycle of abuse creates a powerful, unhealthy attachment. The fact that you can see through the manipulation and lies shows an incredible level of insight and resilience, but it doesn’t make the estrangement and scapegoating any easier. It's especially hard when you’re isolated from your family and forced to navigate these dynamics on your own. Healing from this kind of complex trauma often requires support from others outside the toxic system, whether that's friends, a therapist, or even support groups where others have been through similar experiences. Focusing on maintaining and protecting your own mental health, especially when you're being targeted and blamed, is key. Setting boundaries, even if it means estrangement, is an act of self-preservation and strength in situations like this. I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from the video. Additionally, if you're interested in more tips on the topic or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes. It’s okay to grieve the loss of the relationships you wished you had, while also prioritizing your well-being as you continue on your own healing path.

[@brett76544]

25 years with my one son and 5 months later my other son was born and have never seen him. Still have no idea where they are in Germany. No photos, no hugs, no memories of 1sts, no idea what they sound like, look like, how they act,.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal and painful experience. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to carry the weight of not knowing where your children are or missing out on those important moments with them. Parental alienation can leave lasting scars, and it’s so important to acknowledge and process the pain that comes with it. Have you found any support systems or coping strategies that help you navigate these difficult emotions? I’d love to hear what has been most helpful for you on this journey.

[@brett76544]

@@DocSnipes I had to think and boil it down a ton. Let's just say faith and setting aside. My Training as a Jesuit. A fishing buddy that later realized was a Cardinal. He helped me after the death of my first wife and son, then when my life fell apart after my second wife cut contact. He also talked me out of becoming a priest and into a more interesting life. I also was one of the people to carry his casket outside of Milan to his grave on the family's property. I might be able to reach out to some people, but more in an email