Hello, I Will Psychologically Profile Your Players, DM | Narrated D&D Story

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Credits
Story Source (Reddit): bit.ly/PsychologicallyProfile1, bit.ly/PsychologicallyProfile2
Video Editor: Murtaza Bohari
Editors: Lonny Foran ([e-mail])
Narration: MyLo (Twitter/VoMylo)
Thumbnail Art & Channel Artwork: NalaFontaine (Twitter/@nala_fontaine)
#dndstories #dnd #dungeonsanddragons

[@DuelingCharisma]

Man’s really gave a 6th Grade Science Report on his fellow player 😂😂😂

[@GLDRaptor]

I once played Mutants&Masterminds with a GM that tried to re-write my character three times claiming that "it was as you said", despite Discord history of us DMing this conversation. After that we started playing and he put my character in coma for a whole session and got every fact about him wrong AGAIN, claiming that this is how that suppose to be. The game dissolved after one session.

[@vegetasforehead7358]

The first mistake is getting a redditor to go socially interact with other people.

[@AllTheOthers]

The second mistake was getting a redditor to interact with a bunch of tumbler users.

[@Isredel]

I've just had this deepening thousand-yard stare.

[@xverser2574]

Well on the subject of the first story, am I the only one who quickly gets fed up when some moron gets a Freud complex and tries (and fails) to shrink everyone? Because layman as I am, I at the very least know that You CANNOT Make An Even Remotely Accurate Preliminary Profile After Only ONE Session.

[@DBfan106]

Same here. Don't care how many psychology classes you took. I didn't come to you to be psychoanalyzed so don't do it.

[@oldmanvox3897]

I will now Psychologically Profile my players: They want magic items because they like having fun and ruining my games. Yes yes... clearly

[@jjerrell89]

It's next to impossible to profile someone off a brief interaction with someone, and even if I did do that, which I tend not too, I wouldn't tell them about it. I tend to ask permission if I can analyze before I do so.

[@TheBones1188]

I think we all analyze people to some degree. It can be useful to make sure you're understanding the social situation if your thinking is more on the analytical side. But to just say it outright is odd tbh

[@jordancabe732]

After sharing that my ex liked to do this, I actually found out from a few friends with backgrounds in psychology that a) it's incredibly unprofessional if they have a psychological background to do this and b) most people with actual certifications don't do this.

[@HurBenny]

Did the player behind Ninette sent this story to EVERY available D&D/RP channel ? It is at least the third time I come across it !

[@starbird3939]

I think what happened is that this story becane popular in r/rpghorrorstories and everyone decided to read it. I feel like it happens a lot when you are using only one resource.

[@SetzerII]

All the big channels do the same story. Whatever got the most upvotes that week probably. But I like to think that they all get together and compete to see who gets to release the story first.

[@clericofchaos1]

Truth be told, if it were a professor doing the profiling (in other words, someone who was qualified) it would be a really interesting experiment. Whether the prof dms or sits in as a player, as long as he's with a group of people who have never played together before there are bound to be some interesting observations to be made over the course of a campaign. It would also be important to the experiment that no finds out he's doing this.

[@Ariescz]

Maybe, but still, the results should not be offered without asking

[@CroobieLetter]

A professional would know better than to needlessly profile people without their knowledge or consent.

[@clericofchaos1]

@@Ariescz oh i agree, i'm not talking about sharing the results with the participants though. That would invalidate the experiment. It would make for an excellent research paper though.

[@clericofchaos1]

@@CroobieLetter no, that's exactly how profiling works. If the subject is aware they're being profiled they will behave differently, whether they intend to or not, which then invalidates the results of the experiment.

[@jakeand9020]

Someone qualified would realize having only a couple hours observation of multiple people interacting with each other would not even be close enough to form even a working hypothesis, much less a personality profile.

[@jamescah9230]

I have found that some people can socialize better if they profile the people they are around, but if the story is accurate the profiler needs to learn fundamental psychology, and recognize the potential for flaws in their own profiling. It can be a really great tool, typicially for more introverted and analytical people who have issues connecting with people, but it has to be done right and with an open mind.

[@jkl1110]

I have actually profiled people after doing intense research into it. Worked amazingly. (I was also playing a secret villain and needed to get away with many ploys)

[@alexsawyer60]

one of the best ways i've seen this method done was Abed from Community, he always had a movie character to compare his friends too, and it helped him socialize with them.

[@jkl1110]

@@alexsawyer60 I would say that is more attribution not profiling

[@jamescah9230]

@@jkl1110 I do agree, but they aren't dissimilar, especially in purpose.

[@nekomancer47]

It may help *them* socialize better, but it’s an incredibly rude thing to do when meeting someone new, and I guarantee the people they are profiling won’t find it so endearing. No one likes being analyzed like that, especially by some dickweed they’ve known for all of 20 minutes that somehow thinks they know their whole personality after talking to them one time. People like this are in the wrong, plain and simple. I hope you don’t actually enable them or really support their shitty armchair psychologist antics, cuz, in the long run, it is *not* a good way for them to socialize with people.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Masha would absolutely HATE my characters. Being a girl myself who has had issues of accidentally being mistaken for a guy in the past despite heavily identifying as a girl, I always play as a girl. Even when I play video games where you can only play as a male, I like to pretend I'm playing as a girl. I don't hate guys by any means, I just don't like playing as guys due to my history of being mistaken as one multiple times. I tend to play rather delicate yet resourceful girls who can provide support, knowledge, and become the emotional heart of my groups. Even my edge lord character became something of an emotional heart for the group in one campaign. Not all girls have to rough and tough to be useful to the party, but they don't also have to portrayed as dainty flowers to be liked either. I actually have a fighter character who is a runaway bride of noble birth who fights with a rapier and moves like a ballerina in combat. She's well-mannered and can be a bit posh from time to time, but she's still plenty strong and willing to get a little dirty to protect her friends and the innocent. I was heavily influenced by the movie Barbie and the Three Musketeers for her character as I loved seeing such headstrong and powerful women use their feminine charm and wit to overcome their enemies with such style and flair. I'm 26 now and I am still inspired by those girls! I just love seeing confident women who embrace their femininity at full force and can use it to kick butt without looking like a Mary Sue! There's nothing wrong with girly girls being able to hold their own. But, at the same time, there's also nothing wrong with girls being tougher than most guys and having more muscle mass than makeup supplies. I personally have never been a makeup girl myself, but I also don't do muscles. I'm a nerdy, gamer girl who likes wearing flowers in my hair and cuddling with cute animals, but I'm also stubborn as an ox and can fight back if I need to. I grew up really close to my brother and one of our favorite games to play when we were little was wrestle, and I've been wanting him to teach me some of his MMA moves for self-defense just in case, so I can defiantly hold my own in a fight if things ever get violent. But, most of all about me is that I'm smart. Maybe not math and science smart, but I do love to study history, mythology, cultures, art, music, and all that other stuff. So, I still have something offer other than beauty or brawn. I often like to joke that my real life D&D class would be a Lore Bard who specializes in stories and art, with maybe a mix of wizard. I actually have a D&D character in mind completely based on me that I'd love to play someday as I think she'd be a great source of knowledge, creativity and friendliness to the group.

[@naraferalina2308]

As someone who experienced somewhat of the opposite and loathe being pushed towards the girly girl stereotype. I salute you. We need more people like you.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

@@naraferalina2308 I'm sorry to hear that. To be honest, there was a time when I was also pushed towards being a girly girl, too, and I HATED it. But just because I hated being forced into a girly girl role doesn't mean that I wanted to be sporty tomboy either. I tried it, and it didn't really work for me. Nerdy, gamer girls weren't really a thing for a long time yet while I was growing up. Still, despite it all, I managed to find my way and figure out who I am. Yeah, I've got some girly girl elements to me, but I'm still pretty far from that. The important thing is that you're happy with who you are and don't let others decide who you should be or judge you for what you are or are not. It's your life, and only you can decide how you wish to present yourself to the world.

[@jrxx8326]

I will say that it is a useful skill to be able to accurately articulate your perceptions of other players and concerns about party dynamics. That being said however, it's not the kind of thing you should do all at once, unprompted, after only a single meeting. I fully respect people who want to take a more analytical, businesslike approach to setting up d&d games, but jesus christ this dude needs to rein it in.

[@JensMorrison]

The probability of my understanding probability, is slim at best.

[@jeanmaillard6001]

I had a failure at life do that shit behind my back to the dm turns out he was a narcisist stalker from a previous game I left extremely toxic I'm glad I left what I'm not glad about is that he followed me

[@gelbadayah.sneach579]

In regards to the ad for Brilliant, sounds like you had the same issue with math thay I did with history. I even deliberately flunked a history class just to be in the summer school class of a history class with a teacher I was excited to have. Lol!

[@17raysplays29]

God I hate hearing about people like this. They think of things in basically the same way I do, but they don't have the self awareness to filter it out rather than giving them a personality quiz result for no reason.

[@greystorm9974]

what a snot bubble

[@TVAMPIRE476]

Do we have a guess on when the next All Guardsman Party will get another video

[@Jaeger_Bishop]

Let's not kid ourselves here, we DO judge others we meet with first impressions. This guy made a bad impression because he took one small sample size of data and said "Ok, everything is this, this and this", he didn't hypothesize and test first over a prolonged period of time, he also just threw his initial conclusions in the face of these people like a complete amateur. If this is a habitual thing, than the guy needs some psychoanalysis of his own. It's one thing to have opinions and hypothesize, it's another to just say they are facts and just blert it out. What was even his intention/motivation for all of this? It certainly didn't win him any friends nor make a positive contribution to the group.

[@insanecrazyman7637]

At some point I should send a story from a group I used to play with (though dunno how to send it, also discord link was invalid when tried to join), would be cool to have it animated by ya 😀

[@benwil6048]

Wait, he/they is a thing? I don’t understand 😅 why ‘they’?

[@gelbadayah.sneach579]

As an AMAB genderfluid person I play a lot of female chatacters so as to have an opportunity to express a side of me I often don't have a chance to. That said, this guy had no place telling a woman how to play a woman. He should have been taking notes in stead of giving advice.

[@DuelingCharisma]

Dude listen at this Armchair Andy

[@JensMorrison]

"Women are not for aesthetic purposes." I mean, obviously they're also for breeding. But not everyone feels the need to bring that up.

[@LarvalGhoul]

Everyone in this story, especially OP was painful to listen to.

[@hexxidelux6224]

Guy in here like he's writing an SJW/WhiteKnight Job resume. Here's a suggestion: Just don't. lmao. 2nd Story. HEY MASHA! You're watching all of these, right? -hand on shoulder- *Girly-girl stereotypes exist IRL as real people.* Read it and get mad. Also, lez or not, tomboy or not, taking a hot bath is just *self-care* and I'm honestly startled that this dude, even with his misguided concept of "How-To-TomBoy-Lez", just does not know that. The dude doesn't wash, guys. *Masha doesn't take baths or showers. It is the only explanation for his rage.*

[@madmenitoldyoucallmebronco7522]

Sounds like everyone in this group was toxic.

[@FreedomAndPeaceOnly]

9:41 LOOOOOOL, he returned with Incel-friends backing him up? 😆Oooooooooh so criiiiiiiinge. 😚

[@Crocogator]

Threw up at "female"

[@vigo0santiago]

well ok then

[@369destroyer]

Dude thinks he's a psychiatrist or something. Geez.

[@libertyordeath1640]

Sounds like the second story was about an angry feminist… It's not like the world doesn't already have enough of those lol

[@starbird3939]

Second Story Did the dude mansplain how to be a woman to a woman?! Like… seriously. I love my Elle Woods and Sailor Moon just as much as I love my Ellen Ripley and Samus Aran-but I hate how it feels like the latter has to be the STANDARD for how women act while the former are seen as weak and whiny. Women don’t need muscles to be badass.

[@kaptinkanoodle5039]

"Women don't need muscles to be badass" I agree. This made me think of Galadriel from Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. She was such a cool character and had an aura of authority and a powerful presence. Unfortunately, amazon defiled her character and tried to make her some arrogant warrior self-insert.

[@Dingbobber]

@@kaptinkanoodle5039 Because to be strong as a woman you need to be arrogant, extremely emotional, undermining, and have plot armor… don’t you know!?

[@KOSH150]

This story is extremely cringe from both the the story tellers perspective and the neckbeard irl thiefs perspective.

[@GreaterGrievobeast55]

YIRBEL LIVES. Good grief it’s even more pretentious than I thought it would be HhhhhHhhhHhhHhhhh.

[@Ozzy08018]

The guy from story 1 seems to have good motives but very very very poor execution.

[@thenomad2311]

Lol, I forgot, these stories are from snowflakes

[@lLoveCarolCleavland]

I miss 1st edition D&D, which is what I grew up on and played originally in the 1970's. Much easier and more fun to play, because all the male and females in our group (that's all we had and needed back then) weren't so fragile like people today.

[@Stupiddumbhead]

And this is related to the video in any way, how?

[@lLoveCarolCleavland]

@@Stupiddumbhead never said it was this is a comment section, I made a comment in the comment section, wow, what a concept. Oh you comment police.

[@unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083]

Have you considered that maybe, people just don't enjoy your presence? (And also that non-binary people have always existed, it's just that people didn't notice or acknowledge them)

[@professorsponge1554]

Assuming this story is legit; Quill comes off as someone who needs others to see how smart he is and has poor social skills. probably Asperger's, or probably just a fart huffing wannabe intellectual.

[@PulloffPrime]

misgender?

[@Era551]

First

[@Listrynne]

Second

[@bigthonk735]

A few minutes in and I got tired of just all the buzz words. Like damn OP give these people a fake name so every other word isn't nonbinary or neurodivergent

[@thomashillyard6553]

This has to be one of the worst episodes on this Channel I have seen in a while

[@pr9039]

This group just sounds all kinds of horrible lol

[@Meteor2022]

Not only have I stopped looking for more players, I have two good groups already, I have stopped putting "...[LGBTQ+ Friendly]..." in the title. Why? Believe it or not I have gotten not one, but two of these people that want to stamp out the male players under the guise of being LGBTQ+. I don't hate the community or movement, I hate the fake people in it.

[@wormwood7822]

This video is weak.

[@JacobL228]

"He/they"? That's two versions of the same type of conjugation; you need to give a subjective form and an objective form, but that's two subjective forms. Technically, you could have "he/them" or "they/him", but that would also mean that that person is either masculine or non-gender-specific depending on the situation, which isn't biologically possible. Also, please don't say "neurodivergent"; as a person with Asperger's Syndrome, I don't appreciate a group of uneducated hipsters labeling me without my permission. In your lingo, that "triggers" me. As for stories about being expected to act a certain way, I'm currently playing a half-orc in Lost Mines of Phandelver, and every time we run into a group or orcs and I don't immediately start wailing on them like a murderhobo, the DM asks something like "because you're half orc and you're conflicted about who to side with?", and I have to keep reminding him that my character's a trained and disciplined soldier; he's not going to attack innocent people that are just minding their own business because that would be a war crime. He didn't even have any major or specific interactions with orcs listed in his backstory. In fact, he's been in a predominantly human army for around half his life. Aside from little things like that, he's a good DM, though; he has a rare way of running campaigns that's part official and part homebrew, just the way I like it.

[@jameslynch2110]

Ah the classic male feminist

[@raielle]

In regards to that second story. G4TV thought the same thing. What happened to them?