Pedo GM Runs An Incomprehensibly Bad DnD Game | Narrated D&D Story

Keep exploring at brilliant.org/.... Get started for free, and hurry-the first 200 people get 20% off an annual premium subscription.
Submit your D&D story here: / allthingsdnd
Join our Discord: / discord
Follow us on Twitter: / allthingsdnd
Credits
Story Source (Reddit):
Video Editor: Shawn Kadian
Editors: Lonny Foran ([e-mail])
Narration: MyLo (Twitter/VoMylo)
Thumbnail Art & Channel Artwork: NalaFontaine (Twitter/@nala_fontaine)
#dndstories #dnd #dungeonsanddragons

[@memes4life26]

"Beautiful 4th grader" Somebody check that mans hard drives...💀

[@GM-lx7ji]

well if suspicions are true, then god help the poor soul who looks at those hard drives.

[@christianbarrett3040]

@@GM-lx7ji I'd be more concerned for whoever made up the content....

[@BigTbrodoi]

@@christianbarrett3040 you mean the people in the content?

[@christianbarrett3040]

@@BigTbrodoi yes, I phrased it a bit weird.

[@professorsponge1554]

and the hard drives of anyone in the comment section that tries to say 'but not all...' 'but if no one acts on it...' or 'they prefer to be called MAPs...'

[@alexfriesz1]

With the sound of that second story, it sounds like the DM is upset you aren't going out with him and now that he's in a position of control he just wants you to fail. If he just wanted to make sure you rolled in the open would be fine, but rolling for you is kinda much unless you were confident the dice were weighted. Demanded that he not only roll for you, but do it behind his screen just makes it out that he wants to give you whatever rolls he deems acceptable and makes me suspect he wants to cheat in whatever works in his favor

[@hyudsion]

I'm scared from this title

[@Austin-qv5iy]

Same

[@Sorry_N_Advance]

Same

[@lordzero2379]

Aren't we all?

[@lcg8220]

I clicked with great apprehension.

[@redacted9694]

Yes officer, these ppl right here, they clicked for the title

[@NeonBlacklightTH]

Story time!~ So for context, I play as a Tiefling Rogue Warlock named Thrills Balefire and I was playing with my two friends, one playing as a Swiftstrider Monk named Zhuhua and the other is playing as a Half-Drow Nature Cleric named Mitz'ry. We had recently arrived at the grand city within the Evernight Forest which is ruled over by the Vampire Queen. Think of this city much like Las Vegas but with more Gothic infrastructure fitting for vampires as the city was indeed much like Las Vegas where people would come to gamble in one of the city casinos and either have to pay with gold or blood. We were tasked by the Vampire Queen to find a Night Hag who called herself "The Enchantress" as she had gathered an army of carnivorous Shifters who called themselves the Wild Hunt and has begun to perform an ancient ritual involving a Wickerman. Before we were to head out to find the Enchantress, we all decided to get supplied to the journey ahead and see about trying to get some Holy Water to fend off against the werecreatures that made up the Wild Hunt. However, finding Holy Water in a city of vampires was near impossible. However, there was a shop that was selling Silver Powder, and not only did we have a Cleric in the party but we all also had several bottles of water to go and make ourselves some instead. The thing was though that the Silver Powder costed 500gp and we didn't have the money for it. So we all devised a plan to head into the casino. Upon arriving at the casino we were greeted to a humanoid Pumpkin creature known as a Gourd Lord and had offered us to join his table to play. He looks kind of like Jack Skellington from "The Nightmare Before Christmas" in his scarecrow form for context. The way we did this was by rolling 1d20 and whoever had the highest roll would win and receive chips equivalent to the dice roll minus the loosing role i.e. one player rolls a 20 while the other player rolls a 16, the first player would get 4 chips. We needed 250 chips in total so I began gambling away. Now I don't know whether Tymora, the Mask, or my eldritch patron blessed me that day because my rolls were just absolutely insane. Every roll I made they were all high as the DM kept getting bad roll after bad roll. Even in the middle of the session he given me disadvantage due to my character becoming drunk from having consumed several bottles of wine, and still I was beating him. It was then my character was invited to the High Roller Suite, where at that table I could now roll with a 1d100. Even then, my rolls were still on high and the DM kept getting bad rolls. It got to the point where it was mathematically impossible where he once gotten a roll of 99 and I manage to roll 100. Zhuhua tried to join in on the gambling but much like with the Gourd Lord, her luck wasn't all that great and she had to get some of her maximum hit points drained out of her to pay her debt. Out of humorous spite, even after getting the 250 chips, I continued on gambling in order to purchase blood transfusions that the casino was selling for 100 tokens each, just enough to give Zhuhua back all her health. The DM was so flabbergasted by the improbability of all this, that the Gourd Lord out of frustration quit at the spot and called in for someone else to cover his shift. And that's how Thrills gained the title of "the Lucky Bastard."

[@michaelcerda6114]

I love how in the rare instances, the players get so lucky the GM just kinda goes, UGH!, but yet still let's the players have fun!

[@Loldude66671]

that second story had a follow up too, if I remember right the DM in question had really bad experiences and at the time of the story his gf cheated on him or something. either way he apologized and according to the poster things seem to have started to go well again

[@TransientWitch]

Yeah, no, I'd still be out. That's a hard pass. "Females are biologically good at lying" - that's sexism. I don't care what so-called "bad experiences" he had. It's beyond the pale that he would force her, just her, to give up her rolls so he can roll FOR her. That is not how you handle cheaters in this game anyway. You kick them out if they break trust. I've dealt with enough of this kind of sexism in the past and were I her, I wouldn't start tolerating it *now* even for a supposedly good game. All it does is enable him to do this again any time he feels he's had a bad experience with a woman.

[@UndiagnosedGarbage]

@@TransientWitch While you are right doing that only reinforces their stigma, hate feeds hate afterall. He apologized and things are apparently better now, thats how people grow. If you wanna feed into such indignity be my guest.

[@grosslittlegoblin1358]

​@@TransientWitch I was wondering like, bro. She dated this guy and she left him, then had to give him an ultimatum to not ask her out anymore. Then she wonders the guy is weird with her. I refuse to belive that women are this emotionally stunted or naive, what the f.

[@solosynapse]

Pretty sure he's just an incel, looking at all the info.

[@xtrem5428]

lol, that last one who wanted to roll himself behind the DM screen totally was gonna lie about those rolls.

[@solosynapse]

Yup. Definitely a misogynist incel.

[@blank_801]

I was listening to this while at the gym. I almost feopped the bar when heard the part about the 4th grader

[@garronn]

GMing is super easy, I ran my first game at the age of 16 for guys that have played since 1st edition and they liked what I had. It was simple one shots that played out in succession to each other, monster of the week deal, and it work. Start with something simple like Ork or Goblin raid, group follows them back to their base where they kill the leader, there is a letter from a local corrupt lord or nobleman, group has to defeat him, then find out that he was being bribed by a wizard that controls four towers, each one with a golem Guardian, with the destruction of all four of then will open the gate to the evil wizards lair. As simple as that, just go with common tropes with the theme of "There is always a bigger fish."

[@afrikasmith1049]

I bet this guy is gonna end up in prison and will most likely became a fellow inmates plaything. (Goblin Slayer reference.)

[@cebeez]

Ngl, constantly referring to women as "Females" unironicly would have been a big nope for me.

[@theHedgex1]

That second guy's definitely pissed he got dumped.

[@PvPNecrash]

Dice girl call him out on his BS in front of everyone.

[@legogsrdi8349]

Now that's a much better title for the video, very appropriate.

[@commissarf1196]

Trying to watch this video all the way is like self torture. It's just so weird, and gross.

[@JensMorrison]

"Hauntingly beautiful 9yo"

[@GreaterGrievobeast55]

3:54 oh hell no! YIRBEL LIVES! But I don’t think i’d be able to stand that alone.

[@tariqramadan1521]

Honestly if the DM is bad just walk away

[@KnicKnac]

I remember hearing this from Crispy Tavern.

[@mixmastermike2128]

JUMP TO 1:18

[@54m0h7]

Both of those DMs sound horrible. If they were that adamant that I was cheating I'd secretly write down every dice roll I made, then at the end when he says something show everyone the list, including crappy rolls. I might even average them out just to show it wasn't high. That guy definitely has a bad opinion on women in general, and needs a wake up call.

[@TransientWitch]

I'd go further and just call him a sexist. It's what he is. He might wilt if confronted about it, as another commenter claims there was a follow-up where he was confronted and backpedaled...But it's definitely not just an opinion when he's trying to force only her to play by a different set of rules than the men. Coupled with his words, it's not just thought but action. I've experienced that kind of sexism before, and if confronted especially with male friends on my side, there was usually a u-turn on behavior, but it would start to crop up again after awhile regardless. She should just leave this game when it's done. It can be hard to find another group, and speaking as a woman...It can be *especially* hard to find a group that will accept her presence given the stubborn perception that games like these are and should only be the purview of men...But it's not as common as it was when I started. And it is most definitely not worth subjecting herself to this person's sexism when there *are* other options.

[@54m0h7]

@@TransientWitch I agree, it's definitely being sexist. I like to confront people with proof when they accuse something, but if he persisted I would absolutely call his ass out. She shouldn't leave the group, the group should leave that DM. Play by themselves or get someone else.

[@davidsherwen5245]

That's some pretty f***** up s***

[@legogsrdi8349]

Both Dms are pretty clearly creepy neckbeards

[@Turtleislandgaming]

That's quite a mighty yikes 😵😵😵

[@TheZMage]

I believe DnDDoge did a follow up to the last story the other day

[@user-sh3xo1gj7q]

Interesting title..

[@thericeisboilingover]

I am a 26 year old Australian Man, I live in a small ass town on the border of Victoria and South Australia, take from that what you will but those in the know will know what I mean when I say that whilst also giving as much respect to the people involved. I started up a grassroots D&D community in this town of less than 3,000. First Campaign was an absolute utter mess with little respect towards basic human function such as listening skills, preparation and organisation. That's fine though because its the first Campaign, what's not fine is pandering to teenagers and insecure adults and allowing 11 people to be present for my first session as DM. Safe to say I now know much better. The next 5 months were a gaggle of me being pressured into making up Narrative on the fly as the Dragon of IceSpire Peak in the Essentials Kit is not very engaging. I followed the book and I had a Player inform me he was so bored he wanted to quit. By this time the Party had dwindled to 7 as my ability to organise young people needs improving and they took the initiative to no longer bother me as they could see I was starting to bend from the pressure of DMing 11 people for my first Campaign where I am freestyling a Narrative. It doesn't help that there was a drunken man at the table whom insisted on behaving like a High schooler and made his Character to always be drunk so he had an excuse to consume alcohol and thereby have an excuse to not pay attention and insult the other players. Nor does it help that all of the other Players took literally everything a drunken individual says to heart and proceeded to view this man in a light where they believed they were worthy of his insults (The second eldest there behind me by 2 years). This is my first time DMing, so I didn't realise that I could just put an NPC in game that can remove his tongue or reconfigure the Character's jaw, forcing the drunking idiot to avoid being scathing and nasty whenever a younger individual tried to throw on voices for RolePlay. Fast forward 7 months and one of my Players from that Campaign start up their own Campaign, "Drunk Guy" is also in the Campaign. Drunk Guy has a massive whinge to the DM, one of my previous Players, and true enough, the new DM doesn't want to deal with the bullshit, by this time I've cancelled my Campaign as I lost the Notes (I know, its very impressive that a DM could legitimately misplace Campaign Notes). So in order to deal with Drunk Guy and have Drunk Guy stop whinging, I am kicked from the Campaign before I even get to Play. Fast forward 4 months, I'm really keen to play D&D, I've only every DMed and I want to experience the game as a Player in my D&D Community that I started. My best friend listens to me speak on this, and decided that Drunk Guy could man up and cope with his insecurities, thus deciding to create his own Campaign. F yeah, I am finally getting to Play within the Community I set up... He invites Drunk Guy as the very last member of the Party... Cue three things that happened in my personal life that has nothing to do with me playing D&D. Best friend is gaslighting me the whole time, eventually coming to the conclusion that I, a man fully recovered from Drug-Induced Psychossis who doesn't even eat sugar or drink alcohol, have relapsed into Drug-Induced Psychosis after protesting the DM giving me literal Spoilers for his Campaign, citing the 3 things that have happened in my personal life that have nothing to do with me playing D&D. I was kicked from the Campaign my best friend was Spoiling me for before I even got to Play. He was also weirdly insistent on constantly talking about real world geopolitics, why the Right are bad, how Anarchy is not a good system of Government and how the Covid-19 Vaccine works. I started up a grassroots Community, whilst my best friend was trying to make me believe that I am Psychotic for dealing with Drunk Guy in a reasonable manner and never behaving like a teacher to never feed into the childish ego of the 11-7 Players at my table, and how the 3 things unrelated to D&D are somehow now suddenly related to D&D. Specifically me Playing. I accept the role of Forever DM, and would love to DM for anyone who doesn't come from this town.

[@FatedGamer]

What does the op in the second one mean he was weird or creepy. It sounds like there was an update but eh incels are going to incel. They rarely get away from this kind of logic for that long. They are nice when happy or in a good mood. Cringe when upset or unhappy.

[@josephwilliams2406]

WTF IS THIS TITLE😂

[@Troleandocreyentes]

Wait wut?

[@kenfrmcape2355]

Do I want to know what the heck a vocaloid is? Never heard of that.

[@SirMandokarla]

If you've got someone who's openly sexist at a table, and more men who don't speak up when they make comments? You've got a table of sexists. Jury's out on the guy who spoke up and then cowered out.

[@steveholmes11]

Major red flags in that second story. Could you players elect a new DM and continue without the creepy guy?

[@derajtheyuler7101]

439

[@Cytl-bu3nq]

First, I would ask about context, how the word "beautiful" is being used.

[@cplerza3386]

Wtf is voke a loid music

[@MetaGiga]

It’s Japanese robot voice bank singing

[@Dingbobber]

Vocaloid

[@tsundereguy936]

An example would be Hatsune Miku

[@lexington476]

What is vocaloid?

[@syncringe1885]

Vocaloid is a software that allows the creation of music that sounds like people singing. You could also classify it by the characters that have been made such as Hatsune Mike, Kagamine Len and Kagamine Rin. There are many others but these three were for the longest time the main three I knew of.

[@Kirusion]

That history check I'd say is valid, if you can't remember what was said (as you say half a nano second before) what hope does your character? perhaps maybe do it in character and ask the NPC to repeat if no one in the party can't remember

[@joshua41175]

Giving your party adhd isn't exactly helpful or streamlined for a one shot

[@Tyrantlizardking105]

Is this sarcasm

[@legogsrdi8349]

Can we get some positive stories in here for once instead of the million creepy or awful ones.

[@beammeupscott3032]

It’s a weighted scale. Oogie the honorable dwarf tipped the scale too far in the positive direction.

[@booey316]

@@beammeupscott3032 right?

[@gregorykelly8000]

Are these all true? Please answer.

[@jessl1934]

Yes. He was personally there for every story.

[@jonathonpolk3592]

Ok, aside from the really creepy "beautiful 4th grader" element that would have been an immediate deal breaker for me, the first bad DM didn't seem all that bad. Not great, but far from awful. I probably wouldn't have liked his table either, but he ain't close to the worst I've ever heard about. This sounds more like an entitled or disgruntled player who didn't like some of the DMs idiosyncrasies and gameplay systems. Sorry, but you didnt like the ambient music and setting descriptions? Or the method of advancement? Or the DMs poor acting / improv skills? BFD. These don't per se make a DM bad, and if a player doesn't like it then they should just move on rather than whine about how every homebrew change or minor deficiency is "the worst ever" (TM).

[@the_pixel_possum]

Omg fix the title

[@atiredfloridian777]

No it describes it perfectly. EWWW EEEEWWWW EWWWWWW EEEWWWWW EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[@mrosskne]

It's crazy how the percentage of mentally ill players drops to near zero as soon as you stop playing d&d