537. Friendship Breakups: How to Deal + How to Heal

[@jinnantonix4570]

I had a great friend for 3 years. We really loved each other, and communicated daily. But then one day I saw her doing things that I did not agree with, treating her husband badly, that showed she had a different set of values to me. I told her I could not support her in these actions. She immediately ended our friendship in a text, acknowledging how good our friendship was, but she didn't want to be my friend anymore. I have since apologised, and acknowledged my part, but she is so bitter and angry, she will not accept my apology and confession. This hurt, because I was sure we could talk it through, and perhaps even agree to disagree, but there was no conversation, no effort to communicate. But it seems she could not tolerate judgement even for an instant, and perhaps felt that I had betrayed her trust by reacting to her giving me insight into her marriage. I have accepted the friendship is over, but it still hurts so much and I miss her. I feel tortured, because I just don't feel there was proper closure. I don't know how to give myself closure.

[@jinnantonix4570]

@@thaiczd I feel for you, and understand, I am being treated the same way. Almost like I am invisible. It's been a few months now, and I have started to see that in my case, she had an impulsive nature that I had not previously acknowledged. She was manipulative too, with our mutual friends and colleagues. I had put her on a pedestal, and I now see that she wasn't the person I thought that she was. I am not the problem, she is the problem. I am not saying that your case is exactly the same. But think of yourself first, know that you are a good person, and don't let another person affect your self-esteem. Find other friends, and embrace another path. Show her and everyone else that you are a strong person.

[@ThePurple2323]

I enjoyed this and this has made me reach out to my friend. We haven’t talked in almost 3 years. I miss her too.😊

[@CheyenneFletcherMusic]

This just popped up and I am so glad that it did. I needed to hear all of this. Thank you thank you thank you!

[@bongiperez7565]

I had a great friend. Absolutely awesome human being but the problem is we are opposite sexes. I had no feelings whatsoever for them and i believe thats how they felt about me however every time we would say our goodbyes from school we would hug and i started to feel like it was awkward and inappropriate. I couldn't say it exactly, in case i hurt their feelings so i just started to say, mannn im not feeling hugs these days and I hugged no one. I told everyone and treated everyone that way but somehow as time went on i started to feel a serious drift with this particular friend. I think maybe there was a misunderstanding, idk if they think i thought they stink or idk but the drift became obvious and it hurts like a b*tch. I don't think they felt anyway towards me because they were pursuing someone and they eventually got together so i know its not that. I just don't know where it went wrong. Anyways I blame myself and I'm truly grieving the loss of an amazing and wholesome human being as a friend. But I have decided to try my best to move on. But im struggling at the moment but hopefully I will get over this.

[@reemer14]

This was awesome, thank you.

[@almost30podcast]

You're very welcome!