Stop Romantic Obsession & Heal Abandonment Issues - Anna Runkle

[@annazeta4998]

Love the fact that the hostess doesnt interrupt when the guest is talking .

[@alessandracamaro443]

Fr

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

MMMmmmmmmmm

[@bkspielman0]

Yes! I hate the ones where the host is constantly interrupting. Like if we were just going to listen to you the whole time, why did you invite a guest on? Lol

[@groovan1242]

@@Munchy01 lmfao but WHY

[@ohyoufailedbusiness308]

She is a psychologist, they’re suppose to be listeners lol

[@SarahVogel86]

My gosh, she’s perfectly articulating everything I’ve been unable to articulate my entire life. WOW.

[@tigerlily9234]

I’ve been in limerence over 1 guy for 5 years… when my life is “good”, I realize I don’t want him. But when it’s bad. I go back into daily thoughts and wishing.

[@DMexa]

The number one symptom of childhood trauma is : "Trying to make difficult people be good to you" - Dr. Ramani

[@louisecampbell2628]

​@@DMexaOMG!!! Trying to make difficult people be good to you..that hit me like a ton of bricks 😮

[@louisecampbell2628]

YES!! I do the same

[@maryrussell2713]

There are 12 step meetings that are really helpful for breaking this cycle if you are interested. Google SLAA and you can find meetings online or near you

[@mountainside26]

The Crappy Childhood Fairy is one of the most accessible, relatable and realistic KZbin channels regarding mental health ever. I am so happy that she is getting her moment on other platforms so her message can get to more people. Anna is awesome.

[@kurrves]

I agree, I watch her channel all of the time.

[@bayandkheel4405]

She literally changed my life.

[@itsdeyna]

she’s the person who literally explains about limerence. it really hit me to the core. i don’t even know what it is before.

[@Treasure2023]

Yes, I agree. I’m so happy for her she’s bring a whole new insight & perspective that many don’t know about.❤

[@kurrves]

I get tired of falling in romantic obsession where it feels like if I'm desperate. I am ashamed of feeling like I have to be codependent.

[@internaltuning9914]

Yessss the shame is so strong.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Codependency is a brilliant adaptation to keep us safe during childhood abuse and neglect (sic)…..Marshall Burtcher

[@louisecampbell2628]

Same here. Had enough. I'm sooo tired of it😢

[@minalazovic]

I totally get you ❤️

[@rue_777]

start not caring about them and have a roster of back ups

[@KiKi-te9yd]

Talking about trauma is the worst thing for healing trauma.... amen to this. All talk therapy did was make me worse.

[@northofyou33]

I have been learning to re-regulate after spending decades going into dysregulation from cptsd and believing there was no way to resolve the issue. But my growth has come from my incessant searching for answers, and applying a multiplicity of techniques: 12 steps, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, listening to people like Anna and Gabor Mate and Buddhist teachers and many others. For me, there is no single magic bullet. It's an amalgamation of all these new and ancient ways of looking at trauma which have brought me to an understanding of my own issues and needs.

[@annmalone8208]

I was that parent who neglected my children because I made choices that pulled me away and did not meet their needs to which now we don't talk. I desire to change this pattern. I pray for help in this area

[@olivialong5440]

This was actually the most helpful podcast I’ve ever listened to. Thank you so much.

[@julieschoolcraft1503]

It took me over 50 years to stop romantic obsession. It was only after my mom passed away that I could finally start to understand myself and feel sane ! She wasn’t a bad mom , just a confusing one. Always chose a man over us. Even though she knew that man was a horrible person. I’d NEVER choose a man over my children.

[@flygirl2172]

wow, good for you that you overcame romantic Obsession....how did you do it?

[@lola.lola11.11]

She WAS a bad mom, dear.

[@503ashkatchem4]

Omg we have the same story!

[@missr7340]

I haven't had a relationship for 20 years. I couldn't even think that someone was capable of loving me.

[@realtalk675]

That how i think now 😢

[@Earthalien89]

Nooo this comment made me so sad 😢

[@500_Miles]

I have been in a somewhat similar position. I am learning to be the one who loves me. It’s a prerequisite, I believe.

[@dbg8635]

Same! I am 20 and i haven't been in relationships ever. And i don't know much about my possible bahaviours and emotions if i got into one. (though i dunno how to get into one too. A bunch of trust issues and anxious avoidant attatchment issues.)

[@RedFeather11]

We must love ourselves first. Relationship is a luxury product not necessity.

[@angelaandrea0921]

The “Mmmm” is so distracting! 😅 Absolutely loved Anna and her insight! So helpful.

[@Themiamic]

THIS IS SO VALUABLE. THANK YOU SO MUCH. THIS IS SO TOP TIER.

[@berniebarclay2183]

It really is. Wisdom and compassion.

[@BlueskyDenver]

There aren’t many healthy , well rounded people out there. Society is full of mostly very wounded and hurt individuals who hurt others in the process. Also, therapy isn’t meant to fix you , or give you a magical cure for your problems., therapy helps you explore yourself and guide you to find the solutions for yourself, it is meant to empower you to find ways to heal yourself but therapy cannot help you if you don’t make actual tangible changes. Many times people would complain about abusive and narcissistic partner but they come to therapy and repeat themselves over and over again, they don’t make any changes, they don’t leave the person, they don’t look for solutions they just rant about how awful the other person is, well the therapist is trained NOT TO run your life, they are not allowed to tell you what to do, how to do it, and why to do it, it’s your life you’re the one that makes the choices. You have to decide what you want and make a decision on how you are going to achieve it.

[@berylvanniekerk8626]

@@BlueskyDenver I agree with you…there aren’t many healthy people out there. I went on a weekend workshop about trauma etc about 14yrs ago and this is one of the first things the facilitator mentioned.

[@LoveyTheDon]

First time hearing of Anna Runkle but it feels like she is speaking directly to meeee on this topic 😭 I already have her book in my amazon cart!

[@SaraAlessa277]

I found Anna's channel two and a half years ago, it changed my life.i also joined a coda group and I've been doing the daily practice since and the things I've been able to accomplish are beyond my wildest dreams.

[@Sophiascott12]

For all the women out there, I would strongly recommend to read "The Art of Seductive Power by Juliet Arden". I have studied men before.

[@Dasha-c4s]

Can't find this title. Where did you buy this book?

[@BarristerBabe]

Is this helpful for getting over these obsessions?

[@lidoibenfuchenoff7632]

Oh my goodness, you have no idea how much I needed to hear these reminders today. Cleaning up from the second hurricane. I’ve been living like this for two weeks. I’m so angry. Plus my guy is moving in on Thursday. Everything is triggering me. So ashamed I can’t control my emotions. I’m out cleaning up and I’m putting a fun spin on it. I’m planning on having a Halloween party for my community. We all need some fun. I listened to you years ago. I also quit smoking. Best thing I ever did for myself. Thank you, crappy parent very 🧚 ❤🙏 I took about a 15 minute meditation today. Afterwards, I prayed for guidance. I asked God and all the angels to guide me. You are an angel and a fairy godmother.😘 by the way, I didn’t have crappy parents. They did the best they could with the knowledge and resources they had. I will love them forever. 🙏❤️❤️❤️

[@PattysPath]

literally THE MOST insightful video i’ve watched on youtube. i’m learning so much abt myself and my patterns and feel motivated to change them for the better

[@TiaLei-e7c]

I feel so called out within the first minute 😭

[@simplynikitarose]

Real!! 😭😭

[@blove462]

The whole introduction literally said BAMM!!

[@sumis8096]

Same!

[@aroyals339]

This was a really nice surprise, really enjoy Anna's channel too.

[@TheFatoud]

This woman helped me so much! And all for free! Amazing stuff :)

[@courtneycole235]

Anna and her advice on dis-regulation-& techniques to help it changed everything for me. & it’s free.

[@DawnWyman]

This is my first time seeing or hearing Anna and I'm only 15 minutes in and loving everything she said so far and I love how everybody is saying how helpful she was and that she wasn't asking for money or anything in return that's a blessing in disguise right there I'm going to be looking for more of her videos and saving as much as I can I'm not on tiktok but I will definitely be subscribing to anything that I can find over here on KZbin❤ I've already saved this one and put it under the heading show to my doctor because he is still a believer of CTT.❤

[@odessachen]

This is full of wisdom and I don’t want to take away from that but I will say there’s been a huge development-she’s right that talk therapy isn’t helpful tor PTSD but EMDR is a newer therapy that’s scientifically proven to work on PTSD. It activates parts of the brain while revisiting the trauma to reprocess the experience in a healthier way. I was extremely skeptical but the proof is in the many people healed by this treatment.

[@Bayarea_girl]

I have cptsd from my childhood trauma and I did emdr for 2 years and I can honestly say that it changed my life.. for the better.

[@cup_o_TMarie]

I totally agree! I love Anna’s work, but I wish she wouldn’t make such dichotomous statements regarding therapy. It sounds like she experienced therapy a long time ago before the breakthroughs in trauma therapy. These new modalities are helping people, especially trauma survivors, in ways the older therapies never did.

[@inside-job]

I totally agree… glad you spotted that too. As a practicing EMDR attachment focused CPtsd Therapist, it makes me angry and suspicious of dismissive and devaluing comments especially when she says “she teaches x y z”as if she’s invented the magic mother of theories. Psycho education is absolutely valuable but working through our process and being held and contained while engaging in the humbling experience with Grace and courage is another thing altogether. She should’ve had Pete Walker as her therapist, he would have called out her narcissism.

[@mundall1271]

Thank you for hosting Anna! She has one of my favorite channels on YT.

[@katwestbrook846]

I began building my practice as a trauma recovery coach in the last year and THANK YOU for saying that inner child work doesn't work for everyone- I won't teach it or promote it. I lived through the "crappy" stuff- I yearned to be all grown up. But I don't find it healthy to talk to my"little girl", because, after all, I was her, that is me, and I, not we, not her and I, just me, myself and I grew up, grew past it, and have to work with the hand that I was dealt. And underneath it all, there was a really wonderful person who had some terrible things happen, but there were wonderful people and wonderful experiences along the way. Staying grateful, forgiving and empathetic is not a simple mindset when you were hurt as a kid, and then trauma strikes again, perhaps countless times. Finding out that you are worthy and you have something to offer the world, when that sinks in, the other stuff begins to go down the drain. Occasional clogs, but eventually, the water flows again. Thank you. Validation on my birthday, no less, as a coach- during a week where i wondered wtf am I in for?

[@JulesssRules]

Very well said. I can relate so much. Thank you for taking the time to enunciate this

[@propheticbeautytv1149]

Refreshing. Real. Honest. Blunt. True. Relatable. Safe. Encouraging. Life. Soothing. Beautiful. Some words to describe this talk bc I couldn't put it into full sentences. Thnk u ladies. SO SO SO SO SO GOOD!!!!!❤❤❤❤🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@joanavaldovinoscruz4310]

I love the crappy childhood fairy, I feel like she’s one of those rare few who ACTUALLY get it and have been through it. She’s very genuine and I’m so happy for her success 💜. I’ll definitely be reading her book

[@crystallparker9247]

May you be Blessed Anna. You are a blessing to so many people. After being to several different people for therapy, I also ended up feeling worse. Thanks to you I now understand my own feelings and behaviour better.

[@Francis-px2oc]

Oh my gosh this woman knows my mind so well!!! I’m gaining so much from this. What a healing journey to be on from the damage and trauma. I’m hopeful to gain control of my life. It gets better with age but I look forward to the day that there is peace in my heart and mind at all times.

[@letitialoughmiller1802]

I love the ego deflation..it's humbling

[@jazzyg530]

Listening to Ana's videos has shed so much light on patterns and wounding that many of my friends and I have experienced. I often recommend them to friends who have been to numerous therapists counselors/doctors and have had no real help. She explains things in an easy to digest way and gives wonderful, useful advice. Great conversation!

[@ShredderTainment]

I had an aha moment today… trying to remember my first obsession, my first boyfriend in the 4th grade. Was also the time my parents were in the midst of a divorce and custody battle. Dad was falsely accused of molesting us kids…and we had to go live with mom for an entire year with short visitations with dad. Everyone at school was talking about boys, and I figured I ought to be included… Obsession took over! WOW!

[@n3rvu5]

Every time Francesca goes “mmmm” I look at my phone to see if I got a notification :))) it’s the same frequency as the iPhone silent notification buzz

[@FragmentedMindZ]

Anna you’re me! I feel or felt the exact way. I’m glad I’m listening to this. Anna, you’re wonderful for learning all this!

[@haleytruslow7200]

It’s comforting to know that there’s not something wrong with me because talk therapy has never helped. I’ve always said, if talking about it solved my issues, I’d be cured by now.

[@paulsunner2950]

Limerrance I’ve finally found a name for what I’ve been doing all my life. Ty

[@TheAmvforliFe]

This was sent to me in time

[@matrixbodymechanicstv2027]

Same here

[@gibbopg]

Every year I get excited to attend the work Christmas Party ... every year I last about an hour before I talk myself into leaving. I walk around looking for a friendly face while believing no one wishes me to stop and chat. This is irrational thinking and I have been told I’m liked. I have no idea why I get irrationally anxious and believe I’m not welcome. I’m 64 and married for 35 years. I really have no reason to be this way. I’d love to be able to enjoy myself like every one else.

[@danijelaen]

Omg the interview duo I needed 😻

[@yehudityishai3542]

Wow...this was such an eye opener! I couldn't understand why i have to battle my weight 40 yrars when both parents were thin...my clumsiness...brain fog...adhd...impulsiveness...way too emotional..thank you for this ❤

[@stitches513]

Anna is such an incredible person! I just wish I found her earlier! She’s great at explaining what CPTSD is & what it entails…I cannot wait for her book to drop next week! I pre-ordered it and I’m excited to read it immediately! Thanks for having her on!

[@rebeccasimmers9363]

The problem with this theory is that people don't mature from childhood. Bullies remain bullies, they are just more subtle and more sinister in how they go about it. Adults continue to be hostile, condescending, and disrespectful to people who are visually impaired/blind or have invisible disabilities. This negative ostracizing treatment IS NOT imagined, IT IS REAL!

[@mysoulshelter]

One of the best podcasts I've ever come across on KZbin! Many thanks, Francesca and Anna, for your contribution to the awareness of mental health's phenomenas ❤

[@blove462]

This was truly life changing!! Wow Ive went through just about every emotion watching this!

[@whatissoul9]

score! love crappy childhood fairy!

[@Pamela-bj6qg]

YES!!!!! I 💗that observation 🙏

[@soa9850]

That's such an important comment that should be taken at full capacity. Not all of it is narcissism. The internet has one kind of villain only, the narcissist, and for some reason everyone is a narcissist. I have lived with them my whole life. Covert and textbook, I have seen them. There are people who imitate these traits but they are not narcissists. Empathy, sympathy, remorse, if they have these feelings but still act like narcissists at time (as in not constantly) there is probably something else going on. I walk around campus thinking "not every one I meet can be a narcissist" and remembered that everyone who sleeps in class or procrastinates homework claims to have ADHD. It's the same thing. Society, especially media centric social circles tented to know little of one thing and use it to describe a lot.

[@the_wellbeing_designer]

I started doing the emotional sobriety even thoughI have not been diagnosed with alcoholism or CPTSD, I felt the need to get my brain used to calm and peace

[@pentangle78]

I like her because she is slightly ironic which makes her more human among this huge amount of motivators/speakers/healers we see online

[@jenniferlopez1229]

I’m so glad I come across this. This what I needed to hear right now.

[@rahrah6049]

I can relate to your childhood and family trauma. Thank you for sharing. Stay strong. 🕊

[@azen3082]

When I SAY EVERYTHING, I mean Everything resonated with me. This is Great information. Thank you!!!!!!

[@My_thoughts_20]

Wow, thank you for this interview. I felt hopeful. I have done psychotherapy for therapy which has definitely helped me but at this point, it's not what I need. I can relate to everything Anna mentioned and it's so helpful to hear specific examples from her life. The term for neurological injury, emotional dysregulation, and using isolation to control triggers. I felt understood and will go to her daily work info to start.

[@sliceofpie1741]

Oh my you both are my favs. Saved it❤

[@thilinasampath705]

BEST EPISODE EVER❤

[@maryy8902]

Fantastic podcast yes adandonment from childhood is very painful when in realonships i would leave before ime left

[@ennejb]

One of the best content pieces I’ve come across on YT. Well done.

[@mikaelamendoza8374]

She’s so knowledgeable

[@jedbrecher8288]

This is so insightful

[@eva_la88]

So nice to see and hear Anna Runkle in an interview 🙌

[@randomnessofNadia]

wow, this is what I needed to hear right at this moment

[@Cheese17913]

Francesca thank you for always providing fantastic content!! You are a gift 💗

[@n0tfr0mth1sw0rld]

Wow the intro already described a lot of things i was going through and wondering about

[@rucachris6373]

Anna is awesome 👏🏼

[@pushpendraprajapati8693]

Love your podcast please make 2 video in a week ❤

[@Harriet320]

Thank u so much ❤

[@merydelgado8180]

I really like her perspective. Thank U

[@bealisan]

This woman gives really good advice ❤

[@Lovepath1013]

Holy holy holy wow wow wow Deep appreciation, my heart, no, my whole body needed this and my soul ❤ Ekkkk! Thank you❤

[@MarishaVarna]

Perfect explanations and also great integration!!! Thank you so much for spreading such a significant topic in such a practical and healthy, clear and rational way!!!! ❤🎉

[@NataliKamp]

Thank you both!!

[@simplypingu3130]

This is so helpful ❤

[@aidaoruna]

I can relate so much to this. This inner child thing I can not relate with that. I don’t even remember me as a child so I can not connect Wowww so powerful. Incredibly on point. I have been practicing all this without knowing. I am a recovering condependant and healing is true and you can do it. But it takes a lot of work and is as she explains every day every hour. Being in contact with every bit of every feeling every moment.

[@NataliKamp]

My character used to be like Francesca!She is listening patiently and she is great!Charismatic and such a beautiful woman

[@vinnys.3067]

Ok this just blew my fuckin head back. Like I wish she was my therapist because this video has made me see a lot and I’ve been in therapy. She’s good!

[@lnazareth6522]

wow! Love seeing both of you team up like this! I watch you both and STILL got something new from this talk.

[@axhei1738]

Awesome video/podcast. Thank you so much!

[@FloraGuidry]

Wow! Similar childhood - similar life patterns. My therapy is writing a love story that models a much healthier relationship, but with authentic life events. Very healing and perhaps it will bring in a few extra dollars.

[@Leo_Leo13]

This is so helpful! Love all of the ccf videos and this was a good recap of a lot of her main points.

[@mondaypositivitea]

So happy to see you on this podcast! ❤ both guest and host are remarkable!

[@sokhnafallou]

Wow ils a révélation....the interviewer is so smart too and well éducateur in her choses words !! Contrats and thank you

[@annabelle.112]

When does KZbin videos will have AI tools to audio translate interviews. I would like so much to share this with someone who doesn't speak English. This conversation is very enlightening. I'm glad I found Anna Runkle's videos on here.

[@jcortese3300]

Her comment about finding a workaround and not being able to re-raise yourself struck me while listening to this. I keep thinking that I can't heal myself because I can't even imagine what a non-injured version of myself who didn't react to relationships with disgust and panic would even be like. Who would that person even BE? I can't turn into something I can't even envision. You'll never learn to aim better if you can't even see the damned target. But thinking of it as becoming someone who found a workaround maybe seems a little more possible. I'll never know what the me would have been like who doesn't recoil from being touched, but maybe I can find out what a me who put a workaround in place could be like.

[@younuvou7916]

Anna, love your content. I want to suggest that limerence doesn't just happen when life feels sad or empty. It can also happen when things are going ok or good, but there's some need or desire thats unfulfilled. Then you psychologically project the fulfillment of that need or desire onto the fantasy/limerent object person.

[@aidaoruna]

I can relate so much to this. This inner child thing I can not relate with that. I don’t even remember me as a child so I can not connect

[@devina1100]

Anna is wonderful and this was an excellent interview.

[@siulankantor9380]

Thank you!!! The crappy fairy , is the sweetest 🧚of them all ❤

[@aidaoruna]

Ohh wow disconnect part is so me before my healing. Now I can name it thank you!!!

[@YukonFox1972]

This is all great, but what if you live in a place where dating is difficult? I live in a small town and I’m a teacher-I’m in my 50s and I don't want to use dating site. My kids are young adults and moved away, my friends are all married. I have pets, but they only help so much with the loneliness. How can I meet a compatible partner when all of my time and energy goes into my work and maintaining my household? I have dated a bit since my divorce 10 years ago, but none of the men were compatible-they were either too young (or emotionally immature/narcissistic/toxic/an addict) and not looking for a monogamous relationship, or I just wasn't attracted back. I’ve been healing from a trauma bond that happened years ago, but I KNOW that the relationship was toxic and I’m better off without him (he's already with someone else anyway). I really feel doomed to be alone, but I have so much love to give. I'm trying to accept a 4B mentality and just be grateful for my kids, students, and friends, but after years of being single, I'm so lonely...

[@marisagarraway3497]

@YukonFox1972 I'm so to hear about your loneliness. Pray you find your beautiful other half

[@bruceryba5740]

Hey 1972, I'm not going to offer advice because there are so many people who get upset when a man offers advice. But I will say this: Your paragraph is heart wrenching and sad. However hang in there. Our country is going through a loneliness epidemic. Your story is nearly identically repeated by men of all ages across the marriage and advice web pages. Yes your situation is challenging being in a small town, but the people in the major cities are lonely as well as scared. While the suburbs are sprawling communities of lonely people. What the sage advisors on the other sites always tell the men, is 'stop looking', focus on improving yourself-gym and church, and join as many clubs as you can. No one can predict the future & although I have never been on the dating apps, I have friends who have great success in their second marriages by using the Christian dating apps. And even if you don't want to go that route, gain fortitude by the fact that you are still blessed by your children and students. 'Endeavor to persevere' (movie quote)

[@momione11]

Spot on. Our you just quiet and have this inside.And it kills me inside.

[@Harriet320]

Helpful!❤❤

[@humanmovement79]

This was so informative and helpful. Thank You so much 🙏🏼🌺❤️

[@bvrajlal]

This was really good, too bad about the thousand plus ads though

[@ambermichelle23]

Great ep! Def will be checking out more of Anna’s content.

[@hp-fh9cy]

Great interview. Thank you

[@IrmaRoma68]

I had a therapist who pushed me into group therapy that exploded into hate for me when I told her no it was a bad idea and made me forced me to feel my feelings and now she is no longer a therapist I wonder why? She caused so much damaged and was so bossy.

[@ericasmith8170]

I always had obsessive crushes and limerence over all of my male teachers, bosses, pastors, etc. I didn’t know it at the time. As an adult I had the aha moment that these obsessions kept me happy and distracted from my feelings I buried deep deep inside. I don’t even remember feeling rejection from my father. It just manifested into a complete fantasy world I created

[@joannacabunce8154]

Ohh wow!! Great video. Im following both of you here on KZbin. Thank you for doing this video

[@flip1980ful]

Anna really know her stuff. Im new to this channel. Thank you both for being helpers

[@egovssoul]

The childhood fairy is much cooler than I thought 😎