Alone in the Dark (360) - ProJared

[@cobaltcrysis2085]

"IM THE FUCKING UNIVERSE!!!!" 10/10

[@antman1001000]

When he said that i nearly died of laughter

[@Hydons]

+Cobalt Crysis no i am

[@manabluerose]

+Cobalt Crysis I pissed myself with laughter.

[@Hydons]

***** uhhhhhhhhh k?

[@manabluerose]

Ok, not literally, but it was a pretty amusing sound.

[@killertrip10]

"I'm the Lightbringer, I'm the f***ing universe" - sounds like a punch line from some adult swim show.

[@thewonderfulMRnoob]

killertrip10 That's some Steve Brule shit.

[@dmas7749]

thewonderfulMRnoob Please, oh please, have Steve Brule say that so I can see this glorious thing.

[@wisemankugelmemicus1701]

killertrip10 My new catchphrase.

[@TadasG258]

Those camera anglrs during that line makes it look like a clip from gamer poop.

[@dmas7749]

I love how bad the dialogue in this game is.

[@kylejohnson423]

"But don't forget about me, I won't forget about you" damn dude, I'm sorry

[@danielleallen5395]

He said he forgives you in his explanation. No bad blood

[@kylejohnson423]

@@danielleallen5395 i was actually one of the ones who stuck around. It's just, i can relate as a victim of both cyberbullying and sexual assault.

[@metalcorpseman5433]

Ah, recent comments. Is this your second time around too?

[@reseveej6909]

@Sgt. Joe who's this guy? Lol

[@PokeDude011]

"I'm playing 'Alone in the Dark'." Imagine if you told someone that and they no clue that Alone in the Dark was a video game.

[@ThePickleBehindTheSlaughter]

+PokeDude011 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@pepsia6508]

XD

[@RareMissingno]

Im always playing "Alone In The Dark"

[@jeremyvandale9252]

like my sister she owns alone in the dark (2008) and she thinks its based off a movie called alone in the dark I had to tell her its a reboot of a video game series not a movie-based game

[@emperor_ivan]

Why are you everywhere lmao.

[@DeadBoneJones]

You want to know what this game is? It's everyone's "dream video game" made reality. You know what I'm talking about. That one game everyone "comes up with," that has no concept of scope or core mechanics and is just a random pile of ideas that sound cool on paper. It has a lot of "but"s and "yet"s, and tries to reconcile every cool idea from every game that ever came out before into something pretending to be a coherent whole. "Oh yeah, you can go anywhere because it's open world, but it's also linear so you never get bored, and it's just like RE4 but with SWORDS and PLATFORMING, and your inventory and health system are SO REALISTIC because they use your body instead of lame GUI elements! There's driving and CPR and firefighting and boss fights and RPG elements and... what? The game's due to ship tomorrow? But I'm not even done reading the design doc yet!"

[@superapm9620]

sounds like the triple A industry in a nutshell

[@crdude806]

actually this game did most of stuff before others. Not copying off of them

[@superapm9620]

rub ber uh dude i'm pretty sure platforming, open world, rpg's, over the shoulder shooting, driving and a realistic inventory system was done long before this game

[@ultimateninjaboi]

+rub ber the original Alone in the Dark, yes. but this game came out in 2009. very, VERY little of it is in any way original. MAYBE the idea of your inventory screen being you looking down into your jacket pockets... but even then, it's just the way it's presented. not the mechanics of it. this game is an amalgamation of successful game mechanics, shoehorned together into a mess of a game, and named after a popular old franchise. actually, that reminds me of the only other thing this game kind of "did first." It's one of the beginning instances of Atari's modern business MO. "let's fuck up a beloved old franchise of ours by 'modernizing' it with a game that has the most tenuous connection to the original, and bury it in shit gameplay, and a pile of popular game mechanics."

[@Lyubimov89]

DeadBoneJones so true, especially the “let’s add open world to this game because open world makes everything better by default!”

[@Argol228]

the good thing is, you are not alone in the dark, your fans support you

[@_Mutt_]

:)

[@Stbeter]

The most wholesome comment

[@derekrequiem4359]

Until Heidi makes another 30+ tweet rant, and the fans will rush back to her until Jared makes another video... The internet hate mob is a fickle bunch, eh?

[@vapor404]

Derek Requiem this whole thing taught me something look at what’s provided very closely and be skeptical of everything

[@Blaze-zm7zt]

@@derekrequiem4359 fuck Heidi's dumb bitch ass

[@drankydrank1]

"I DON'T HAVE YOUR STONE, AND FUCK YOU ANYWAY." Idk what you're talking about Jared, that's some good shit right there lol

[@AlleeCatBlues]

DrankyDrank I'M THE FUCKING UNIVERSE!

[@dorffy618]

+DrankyDrank "I DO HAVE A STONE, BUT ITS IN BOTH OF MY KIDNEYS AND IM DEAD NOW, BYE" -Alone in the dark guy, 2003608

[@belinskiparadox7687]

+Robertbert BertBert roll credits

[@dorffy618]

NEXT EPISODE ON ALONE IN THE DARK *Plays A Blank Tape* TUNE IN ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF ALONE IN THE DARK

[@Metaluck768]

I DUN'T HAVE YUR SHHHHTOWNE AND FECK YUU ANYWAY

[@BottomGlassCinema]

Voldemort: There is no good and evil, there is only power and those too weak to seek it. Together we'll do extraordinary things. Just give me the Stone! Harry: "I don't have your stone. And Fuck you, anyway!"

[@TheKeyser94]

+PLAINMooRE Yeah, I feel the magic when he marry his Mary Sue.

[@spyrellephea1105]

+ConDom You're a potty mouth Harry.

[@FreezingMocha]

Harry:IM THE FUKING UNIVERSE valdemort:FUCK YOU ANYWAY

[@BottomGlassCinema]

Caue_antigo More like: Hagrid: "You're a Wizard, Harry." Harry: "I'M THE FUCKING UNIVERSE."

[@requiem4ameme2]

+ConDom "What is the difference, Potter, between Monkshood and Wolf's Bane?" "I don't know, Professor. AND FUCK YOU ANYWAY!"

[@ZorotheGallade]

That's a great comeback...I think I'll use it all the time from now on. "Hey, have you seen the dog?" "I DON'T HAVE YOUR DOG, AND F**K YOU ANYWAY!" "What's the time?" "I DON'T HAVE THE TIME, AND F**K YOU ANYWAY!"

[@catandgrouper4760]

That's the best joke I've heard in a while.😄😄😄😄😂😄👍👍

[@ZorotheGallade]

Carlos Vera I am not an asshole anymore. I AM THE LIGHTBRINGER! I AM THE F**KING UNIVERSE!

[@SilkyLew]

LMAO WOW

[@clipboss8052]

@@ZorotheGallade I don't have your lightbringer! And FUCK u anyway!!!

[@bastionunitb7388]

my sister looses her phone all the time so I'm definitely going to use that hey bro have you seen my phone? I DON'T HAVE YOUR PHONE AND FUCK YOU ANYWAY!

[@mrmaxwell346]

Imagine if they actually had an immortal Edward carnby (the real one not this 90's anti hero) as the protagonist. It would be so entertaining to see a man from that time look at the modern world.

[@asmodeus58XX]

Kinda like Dio in Stardust Crusaders, except the 1920's already had cars.

[@Braxton999Adams]

You should watch sleepy hollow (FOX Series) features a similar premise of Ichabod Crane from the 1780s having been buried alive in a coma for several centuries only to be awoken in present day.

[@RadioactiveMoth]

Actually, most of the time when properly performing CPR, you fracture the person's ribs. Though Sarah's chest looks rather squishy, and doesn't look like she's actually getting CPR, but rather having her chest crushed with rocks.

[@usagirocks]

ImTheMagicalDolphin the only time those stiff rock boobs will move

[@adambrien896]

I think that CPR was incorrectly performed.

[@Centttttt60]

Also when you perform CPR you usually remove all clothing from the chest. At least that's what I was taught.

[@MrQwertysystem]

Just so anyone who happens to stumble upon this comment, that's actually false. If CPR is performed correctly there shouldn't be any broken ribs and if there are you've used too much force, BUT that myth keeps living because it's considered better to have caused few broken ribs rather than not push strongly enough.

[@garbagemancan]

this is a myth. please stop pushing that dogshit as fact. delete your comment.

[@din_5817]

A lawnmower that can strafe would be badass

[@corgistaniel1150]

Sadly, Alone in the Dark: Illumination is even worse somehow.

[@DharmaOutlaw]

Stan Claas yeah they fucked up the dark part in this and fucked the alone part in illumination

[@ultimateninjaboi]

+Dalarian I see you are a fan of Yahtzee, as well? X3

[@supermansuperman3047]

this game has amazing dialogue, what are you talking about? I DON'T HAVE YOUR STONE, AND FUCK YOU ANYWAY I AM THE FUCKING UNIVERSE ^Examples

[@RolandCollides]

Thank god the new reboot finally broke the curse.

[@jsun7972]

ProJared is so brave to actually play and complete this mess. I tried the demo and man... that driving section RUINED the game for me.

[@djolegusman]

Yeah, my friend has it and we were basically just skipping and skipping.. Normally I'm pretty decent in driving in video games, but this game.... It took me about 10 ducking attempts.

[@Minchken]

The game isn't that bad, 6/10

[@bashbashfulsson4540]

I hate to be the boring guy who nitpicks everything, but CPR done right often breaks ribs.

[@cjgg4885]

Bash Bashfulsson Edward looked like he broke her ribs and punctured lungs

[@aspire4more]

This is the exact comment i was looking for lol. If it wasn’t here, i was going to make it

[@DarthLahey479]

@Alexander TamIf you look up, you may just see the joke that flew right over your head.

[@CrasherX2000]

Done right? Don’t you mean done wrong?

[@MyratheDunmer]

No, he means done right. You NEED a lot of pressure to do CPR well, so broken ribs are a common side effect. Much better than death.

[@sharkhammr]

Am I the only one that, when hearing the demon, expected him to yell "I'll get you next time, Gadget!"?

[@belinskiparadox7687]

Generic Bad guy voice was generic

[@jdjohnson1591]

+Steve Rogers (Ethan) Now, don't get me wrong. SCP Containment Breach is a good horror game. The issue, though, is that the blinking doesn't have much of an overall purpose. It only comes into effect when around SCP-173.

[@belinskiparadox7687]

jd johnson ok?

[@jdjohnson1591]

Steve Rogers ...oh...I must have replied to the wrong comment...huh...this is awkward... ...uh, move along people...nothing to see here...

[@belinskiparadox7687]

jd johnson lol

[@crbknight]

"Its like using a lawnmower, only you can suddenly stafe" I want it

[@h2o2go141]

Hover mowers are a thing!

[@icewolf6062]

"Fracturing a rib makes her fall in love with you" I knew that whole domestic violence thing was a lie!

[@sterlingmuse5808]

Fun fact: That actually wasn't too inaccurate for CPR. You are in fact encouraged to use collarbone-fracturing force during the chest pumps; the animation there could have come straight from a CPR practice dummy.

[@nathanclark2424]

@@sterlingmuse5808 Why would professionals encourage you to do moves that could easily break someone's ribs?

[@sterlingmuse5808]

@@nathanclark2424 Because it can open the airways and prevent death. Basically, they're ok with sacrificing a few ribs or the collarbone to get the person the oxygen they need to live.

[@thehonorablereverendaddiso1943]

Holy fucking shit this aged like milk in the Arizona sun

[@FASTERLANEDisBACK]

@The Wrestler Jared tried to with minors.

[@smolson8471]

"One of the coolest parts of Alone in the Dark is the use of fire." All of us who watched this video should work together to make a game called Alone in the Fire: Putting Detroit Firefighters to Shame.

[@celebi734]

+Alexis Lyle Greatest game ever.

[@belinskiparadox7687]

+Celebi734 tenoutaten material

[@axelvoss9653]

+Alexis Lyle 7.8/10 -- Too Much Fire

[@smolson8471]

Axel Voss XD

[@funnychic7]

Alexis Lyle "It sure is a... Game..." - IGN

[@jaketheberge1970]

Fun fact, that demon spends his weekends fighting Inspector Gadget.

[@pokejoseph]

Jake Theberge Brown Bricks

[@sergeantjoe]

"I'll get you next time lightbringer next time"

[@SQUIDWORD15]

Technically inspector gadget fights Dr claw, Dr claw just commits crimes and gadget stops him.

[@Ericstump76768]

Ok

[@daredfoxchick889]

WHY WOULD YOU SET UP A VIDEO GAME LIKE A FUCKING SOAP OPERA.

[@RiNicku1ous]

demonitization station tell that to telltale games.

[@thegoatkingchannel2377]

ReNikulous Filmz with Telltale game it actually feels like the end to a episode. unlike Alone in the dark.

[@RiNicku1ous]

Nova Space Heroes oh yeah I forgot that this game is crap

[@RAFMnBgaming]

because higher framerates allow for smoother controls and better feeling dynamic camera movement.

[@dr.docter5211]

BECASUE HES THE FUCKING UNRIVSE

[@NeonNobility]

There's a reason his name is PADDINGton

[@randommanofculture2673]

Badum Tss

[@ohgodthehorrors6056]

"I'm playing Alone in the Dark" But the lights are on?

[@bluerious5475]

Don’t worry, he wasn’t talking about then.

[@dereknight861]

There’s nothing worse than when they try to retcon a classic character to be some modern day douche and say “oh no it’s literally the same guy.” AT LEAST GIVE HIM THE ENGLISH GENTLEMAN MUSTACHE FOR GOD SAKES.

[@sethmichel6138]

Is this comment about the game or about how everyone on Twitter tried to make ProJared seem like a douche, hard to tell with these types of comments from around the time the truth came out

[@dereknight861]

Seth Michel no it’s to the game.

[@AnthonyFlames275]

They could have also had the character be a child of the original character. Would probably have worked better

[@GuardianTam]

Looking at you DMC reboot.

[@AnthonyFlames275]

@@GuardianTam the DMC reboot wasnt half bad. I played the originals and felt like the reboot did it's best it could with the changes that had to be made (Ninja Thoery wanted to design Dante close to the original but Capcom told them to make it different so that's one example of where they werent at fault)

[@DoubleOhSeven68]

Did anyone else notice that that was MAX F**KING PAYNE VOICING EDWARD!?

[@raeedibnzamanvintage7438]

Alex Howard Max Payne is not real

[@DoubleOhSeven68]

raeed zaman I can't tell if you're serious or not?

[@appleWhisky43]

Alex Howard Max Payne is a lie

[@joeltornlund4061]

Alex Howard Max Payne isn't a real person.

[@DoubleOhSeven68]

I'm not giving a retort because I know you guys must be fucking with me.

[@Hrothmeir]

How would you describe Batman's method of breaking into Arkham Asylum in Batman Begins? Bat tornado.

[@dank3812]

#batnado is the new #sharknado

[@jennikarosanne918]

Batwing+Tornado=Batnado.

[@Ratciclefan]

#batnado

[@eji]

lol I had forgottten that the guy that's the main voice for this game is the same dude that does Max Payne

[@LegallyBlindGaming727]

And Tidus from FFX.

[@justsomehisuianzoroark6237]

Not Tidus, that was a different guy/James Arnold Taylor.

[@aviantheassassin9103]

That’s depressing

[@Blurgleflargle]

Which is twice as ironic when considering that Remedy's next project, Alan Wake, was basically - a better version of Alone in the Dark (even though it had to curb a lot of its ambition).

[@TheTakUser]

Yeah, having played Max Payne 3, I immediately thought the guy's voice sounded familiar. Also, I noticed the similarities to Alan Wake as TAPETRVETVBE pointed out, and upon revisiting the review a few years later.

[@Cteklite]

I think a strafing lawnmower would be very helpful.

[@darklord884]

Sure wouldn't be good for precise control.

[@WH250398]

LAAAAAAWNPUUUURGE

[@101Volts]

Hovercraft Lawnmowers actually exist, but they're mostly used on golf courses in North America. They leave no wheel marks, and it seems they go down steep slopes near water pretty well.

[@tsm688]

@@101Volts scientists unveil a new method to make lawnmowers EVEN FUCKING LOUDER

[@jetfire851]

What kind of "Alone In The Dark" game is this? Where's Tara Reid as the archaeologist? Where's the ten minutes of unreadable prologue text? Don't tell me they couldn't get Christian Slater to come in to record the dialogue.

[@Tamaki742]

We do not talk about that.

[@charliejones3272]

UWE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

[@fukkthisnewupdate8882]

Doug Glassman my headcanon is that this is an alternate universe.

[@TheSkyRender]

It doesn't even qualify as an Alone in the Dark game on a literal level. You're not alone, and it's not dark because everything is on fire.

[@projectmistery7269]

You ugly

[@shoegazering]

The driving section was BAT enough.

[@MiloTheMightyDude]

It's been nice gnawing you!

[@supernintendochalmers3385]

+buzzboy 24 That joke doesn't make sense without context

[@MiloTheMightyDude]

Jordan Alexander it's as good in context, so...

[@rafelicata6687]

DAMMIT WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP WRITING PUNS BEFORE ME?!?!

[@shoegazering]

Papa Bagel because chicken mcnuggets

[@VSigma725]

The demon voice sounds like Black Doom from Shadow the Hedgehog. ...Not a compliment.

[@crazyj10agains]

And the Big Boss Metalhead from Jak 2 (Forgot his name).

[@lavierakoover893]

Oh god your right! XP And Shadow the Hedgehog was one of my favorites on my original Xbox. Yes it was goofy and there were some slightly irritating parts to the gameplay but still enjoyable and funny seeing shadow running around shooting guns XD

[@jdchalfant7071]

Lavie Rakoover HOW DO YOU LIVE! I bet you think sonic 06 is the best game ever, compared to what you think is a good videogame

[@lavierakoover893]

Well guess what John. I did play Sonic 06 and I thought it was terribly controlled, badly written, and overall incomplete but pushed out the door to make a profit. And no the best Sonic game personally to myself is Sonic Adventure 2, while having some mishaps control and story wise but still one of the greats. And here's something else, I love good video games. Am I saying Shadow is an award winning game? No, not anything of the sort. But it did seem to embrace the ridiculousness of its premise and the speed segments and level variety and collectable challenges were fun. Plus who would you be to say what's a good sonic game and what's not. I figure to point of having an opinion is to be able to make your own decisions on what you think is good and what you think is less so, Chalfant.

[@pokejoseph]

Where’s that damn 4th Chaos Emerald!?

[@farjacko]

I want a death metal band consisting of Jesus Christ (bass), The Lightbringer (lead vocalist), Chuck Norris (drums), and Macho Man Randy Savage (lead guitar). The Devout Harbingers, with their hit single: _I AM THE FUCKING UNIVERSE_

[@cagaming9724]

farjacko LOL

[@ProtectorofGray1644]

Steven Universe should be the main lyricist.

[@screenwatcher949]

Gray colors are awesome But, Jesus doesn't like homosexuals.

[@ProtectorofGray1644]

Broguy the Shy Guy NO LESBIANS ALLOWED, IN A CHRISTIAN GAME

[@ProtectorofGray1644]

Also Faith +1 should also collab with the band.

[@Monody512]

"Now give me my stone!" Wait a minute… Voldemort, is that you?

[@KiwiKJ]

^ reminds me of "owo whats this *pounces on your buldge*"

[@Thatslifebro_]

No Voldemort is actually a decent Villain.

[@sergeantjoe]

Harry Potter: I don't have your stone and f**k you anyway

[@darklord884]

That would've enhanced the game if it really was Voldemort. And this also made me think of how ridiculous (and amazingly cheesy) it would've been if Harry would've either replied "I don't have your stone! And fock you anyway!" in the first movie or if during the talk with Hermione about how some chick thinks Harry is the chosen one, instead of saying "She's right, I am." in movie 4, he'd say.: "She's right. I'm the f*cking universe!"

[@DinosaurFan88]

Honestly, it reminds me more along the lines of Jenner from The Secret of NIMH.

[@Cruddyhorse]

"I'm really glad this never caught on". Well I got bad news for past Jared.

[@nathanhall9345]

The only game where I feel episodic format actually enhances the game is Asura's Wrath. But then, I spent the whole game screaming, "THIS IS SO FREAKING ANIME!" anyway, so why not commercial breaks and episode pacing?

[@nathanhall9345]

Yes! :D

[@STARGATEfan01]

Until Dawn did it too :D but it was helpful

[@crocodilerock4662]

Alan Wake made masterful use of it

[@crystalstruthers262]

i liked Alan wake and driver sanfeansisco did it to

[@xxKrazyKxx]

Number 10. They just keep getting better.

[@Parnifia]

Jared should have mentioned how you heal, with the first aid spray. It's... weird. And kind of amusing.

[@WillieManga]

"In fact, in some cutscenes, they literally hang off the character model. You even have first aid spray to heal Edward. Almost like Resident Evil."

[@BrawlerClaws67]

I want to make yet another comparison to this game and Resident Evil. So, Resident Evil ripped off the original Alone in the Dark, then this game ripped off Resident Evil 4. But, this game has a "tv like" story set up. Guess what, SO DOES RESIDENT EVIL REVELATIONS! 0_o

[@memberofchat2825]

that's what i was thinking

[@EM-wd5ls]

"I'm the light-bringer! I'm the fucking universe!" That line is so ridiculous and narmy. I laughed for a while :)

[@coltenlarson100]

?

[@dmas7749]

It seems to be funnier that it's censored, taking any remaining depth that was there in the first place. "I'M THE ****ING UNIVERSE!"

[@rubykelly2305]

I honestly like the final exchange of the good ending. "How does it feel to be so alone?" "I'm used to it." In a better written game where the character isn't an unlikable asshat and who we actually know something/care about, it could be a really effective line. It would need to be delivered better and with a better set-up, but I could see a scene ending with that line being very effective.

[@marcanthonybattenberg7636]

It's pretty good, but the bad ending is hilariously awesome.

[@FangFeraligatr]

btw i think yahtzee said it best, "you're no longer alone because of all the npc's, and it's not even dark because everything is on fire!!"

[@FatalKitsune]

'Bat Tornado' would be a good band name.

[@Phoebe5448]

Or Batnado: The long awaited spinoff/sequel to Sharknado :)

[@trethestar]

@@Phoebe5448 with special guests star Ben Affleck as Batman.

[@ob2kenobi388]

"Don't step on a crack, or you'll break yourself into oblivion!" Ah, I remember hearing that one all the time back in grade school! RIP Tommy, shouldn't've stepped on that crack :(

[@cherrychocolate1434]

Blinking in a video game? What is this, SCP Containment Breach?

[@anguslatham5470]

No its Alone in the Dark

[@CloudsAreTimeLords]

Angus Latham Bad day?

[@anguslatham5470]

No i said its Alone in the Dark

[@mozillafoxer8489]

Angus Latham Sorry for reusing this, but I just have to: The joke Your head

[@pavlebanjac1392]

That was sarcasm

[@PMURPH08005]

Say what you will, but the quote at the end of the bad ending is actually awesome. "I am the Light Bringer...I AM THE F*CKING UNIVERSE!"

[@jonahbrown5669]

Awesome in a hilariously bad way lol

[@AngelTerri]

Spreading the love in the comments today as I watch the video!

[@CasaiAgicap]

8:08 Sheesh, Jared, everybody knows a hot air balloon wouldn't work without an atmosphere. How DARE your funny similes not be completely scientifically accurate??? Also, good video.

[@matthewjones6786]

Yeah, wouldn't a hot air balloon be as floaty as anything else in space? :P

[@MaxonerousX]

A Better one would be trying to control 14 molecules of water in a lake, beneath the surface

[@micalishis]

I remember really liking this game. I thought the health with the injuries was pretty cool. I loved the fire mechanics, I felt cool shooting bottles I threw, and I thought the story was interesting, including the episodic style. I don't remember having any problems with the controls but I'm willing to chalk that up to the fact that I played this 6 years ago and was 13.

[@swampet5457]

Unless you've played it since you commented this; it has been 13 years since you played this game. Literally half your life ago. Welcome to feeling old "xD

[@themusicguyinthegroup9619]

Jared: (talking about episodes in video games) I’m really glad this never caught on. Telltale: Hold my beer MGS5: Hold your own, I’m coming with you Battlefield Hardline: Wait up guys!

[@puppymaroon964]

Don’t forget Angels of Death and Siren: Blood Curse.

[@SolidRaiden2655]

RE Revelations: AITD mind if I borrow something from you... Again!

[@NanaKyoto]

Too much candy out of ten? Seems a little too sweet of a rating...

[@joelstewart5982]

bum-bum-tis

[@asnowman5866]

Boo!

[@sebastianebel5167]

+Nana-Kyoto i would say stubbing your toe out of ten

[@thegreatcaesar7433]

how about too much pain/10

[@magicrainbowkitties1023]

Deh ne ne _le slap_

[@Kinnugan]

"They made it like a tv show [...] i'm really glad this didnt caught on" 4 years later camed MGS phantom pain and did the same thing.

[@Sarato]

Kinnugan Four years? More like eight years.

[@sirlukas73]

Kinnugan didn't it only do the TV transition thing like...twice?

[@WillieManga]

Actually The Walking Dead was more like that; having a TV serial format. It worked pretty well since the AMC show was on TV

[@CapnShades]

Everyone here has forgotten all about Quantum Break. Which is thoroughly unsurprising.

[@miamisigma3888]

So. If edward carnby was away for, 84 years I think. And he was....let's say 30 shall we, in his original game. Then why the fuck is he 114 years old, yet still looks like a 54 year old.

[@yusei2221]

+Buttcheek Mcgee MAGIC *snort snort*

[@dustthegreninja1745]

+Doctor J SATANIC magic snort snort

[@miamisigma3888]

Dust The Greninja its satanic game magic.

[@asmodeus58XX]

Nanomachines, son. Oh wait, wrong game.

[@justanaussie5635]

And he fell in love with a woman who’s 90 years younger than him (Estimated).

[@ninjabluefyre3815]

Glad to see no one's asking who's here from the new video. Wait...

[@MellowFellowVA]

xD

[@snopdoog3308]

IM THE FUCKING UNIVERSE

[@AceAttorny]

The first driving section was already... "Bat" enough? I regret nothing.

[@DreadlordZolias]

I swear... that bad pun just drove me batty.

[@MrPodaky]

DreadlordZolias I swear both of you are bat shit crazy.

[@PaleHorseShabuShabu]

"Alone in the Dark made survival horror and then Resident Evil copied it." I'll just be over here playing 1989's Sweet Home.

[@TheClaybones]

It's true if you're only counting action games I guess.

[@piercetheheavens719]

Alone in the Dark revolutionized it. Sweet Home was exclusively released in Japan, and it's also a JRPG (redundant I know). Different genre technically.

[@PaleHorseShabuShabu]

1) I know Sweet Home was elusively released in Japan. 2) I don't care if AitD revolutionized the genre. That's not what we're talking about. 3) Calling Sweet Home a JRPG is like calling Metal Gear Solid or Resident Evil 2 action games. It's true, but it's not a complete description.

[@piercetheheavens719]

Pale Horse ok

[@iverson64_]

1981's 3D monster maze

[@dr_lazer4694]

I think a horror game would be able to last alone around the idea of having to blink. Heck I can think of something that involves you being stuck inside of a mansion that has it's power going out frequently and every time it does you first have to blink a lot to see more clearly in the dark and you have to look out for the smallest of movement and you need your vision to be clear so you have to blink in order to not have blurred vision. And how about in the same place there's suddenly an enemy that will attack you if you look at it for too long but you need to see to, you know, get out. And if you touch the enemy you also die, so you can't just close your eyes and walk blindly then hope for the best. Or an enemy that's basically the weeping angels from doctor who were you have to look at them constantly or else they kill you. Why am I even writing this down!? No one's going to read it, and even if someone does read it they won't turn it into a game!

[@BobixIX]

+DR_LaZer Look into SCP Containment Breach

[@jdjohnson1591]

+BobixIX Now, don't get me wrong. SCP Containment Breach is a good horror game. The issue, though, is that the blinking doesn't have much of an overall purpose. It only comes into effect when around SCP-173.

[@ninjabluefyre3815]

And then Close Your Eyes came out.

[@Yayonzo]

12:40 Actually, I've heard that if you're performing CPR correctly, you WILL fracture a rib or two. It actually requires more pressure than you would think.

[@CriticalRainbow]

As a lifeguard, I can say this is true. We are suppose to push down at least 2 inches into their chest. Granted, you are more likely to just break cartilage around the ribs than fracturing them.

[@Yayonzo]

Rainbow Luster I knew I heard this somewhere, thanks for the reply!

[@SpiderRiderKya]

Ah, I see someone beat me to pointing this out. I was wondering if anyone else knew this. When I took my CPR course they told us the same thing. In fact, in many tv shows/movies they're often shown using to little force, though this could be to keep from hurting the actors(though they could always use dummies for those parts of the scenes). I'll take a cracked/broken rud over being dead any day.

[@GBRyker61]

The idea of haveing the damage indicators on the character model is an interesting idea, if executed properly. In the Ghostbusters videogame from 2009, the entire Hud is on the protonpack. It was an inovative concept at the time. Keeps the screen less cluttered.

[@platyclysm4633]

Dead Space had a similar concept, with Isaac's R.I.G. displaying it on his back. Basically all HUD elements related to Isaac were on his person or weapons, wish more games utilized this.

[@LPlandOFazul]

What does this have anything to do with the original game??? Seems like...nothing to me! Why destroy an iconic series...just make a new title? If it fails on its own, then it fails, but if it fails with a well renowned series behind it...then there is a huge problem. ;/

[@Iggsy81]

Ruin the name? This game was The Last of Us compared to the Alone in The Dark movie though at least ! : )

[@carsondoesstuff3487]

I think they wanted to make a game and then thought they could sell a lot more if they tied it to an already successful franchise.

[@Irked_Adjacent]

This game brings me nostalgia, I didn't speak english and I sucked at this game so much, I died a total of 80 times through the whole game and i got stuck on the driving sequence.. gooood gooood times..

[@talkinghoorse6936]

ooh I know! because some jackass was watching uwe boll's alone in the dark and he thought: "Gee this is what the whole series must be like!" so he made this POS game

[@TheCatWizard]

It has more of a "Saint's Row IV Effect." This means that it should of been a game with a different cast of characters to make the game, but they slapped characters from existing franchises, thus, removing any chance of any good sequels. Super Smash Brothers had this, but it was better with other characters, proving that it can be done well.

[@cjhs2006]

This’s Really Just Making me Wanna See a Supernatural Video Game

[@invisiblehand13]

You should be playing D&D with yer homies!

[@bastionunitb7388]

@Grace Mitchell i really hope i want to see shun and tadorin again

[@Ryusuta]

If this was Shadow the Hedgehog, the ending would be more like... "I'm the light-bringer! I'm the ****ing universe! THIS... is who I AM!!!"

[@TheAssOfEternity]

Don't forget a hearty "AND FUCK YOU ANYWAY!"

[@ThePickleBehindTheSlaughter]

im sure that was an ending XD

[@TheInfinityMaster1]

Came back here after watching Jared's playthrough of the original game on his gaming channel. :]

[@mechadragon2692]

ProJared is so underrated he's awesome as shit

[@CasaiAgicap]

Poop isn't awesome Sorry

[@petemadrona2252]

+CasaiAgicap Poop is awesome! Along with wall tits and buck--ass disappointment! Get the reference?

[@gurvmlk]

Of course poop is awesome. If it weren't for shit, we would all die of toxins accumulating in our body.

[@petemadrona2252]

gurvmlk And if it weren't for shit, the entire human race would've died of tummy aches

[@theboomerpride]

this is a pretty crappy comment chain

[@Nightkrowler]

12:35 - I have had First Aid Lessons (required by my profession) and we were told, we have to apply high pressure, and we might really break some ribs. But its a low price for.. you know.. SURVIVING.^^ 13:22 - THIS is the most survival-like-survival-element ever. In Reallife you could not pause the reality to put stuff together. You'd have to do it in advance. And you could not carry all the stuff in the world along with you, cause you would either have to have a bagpack (which would take even more time to put it down and look around it), or use your jacket, which has limited space. Idk why this is a negative point

[@killern3rd422]

Nightkrowler well it's a neat mechanic just like super hydlide's food, sleep, and weight system. but just like those 3 mechanics it can become user hazardous

[@ScourJful]

Because it doesn't work at all. Realism doesn't mean better. Especially if this fixation on realism makes the game be slower, player hostile, and half assed. That's the issue, they included the mechanic without thinking of how it could be a problem. You are required to use fire to kill enemies. You have a limit to the fire ammo you receive. You run out, need to make more which means either in the middle of battle, you will have to combine fluid and bullets to make fire bullets, put it in gun, and not receive damage. Cause if you receive damage, then you could bleed out and if you preferred bullets more than bandages, you're dead. Again, we don't play games for their realism. If the game can make it work, then that's fine. Alone in the dark can not do that because of how awful the system is especially when combined with the overall game. There's a reason why games that give characters 10 slots for weapons do better. It's because they don't try to force in realism so much that they end up hurting the players and thus their game. Also, I don't believe you should put so much power into CPR to the point where the breasts of the women practically lose all perkiness. Especially since the breast suffering this problem isn't directly receiving physical contact. Of course ribs will break, it's that how he does it in the game is way too hard. To the point where you'll probably cause some damage elsewhere.

[@TenshiCat]

Nightkrowler I daresay that ZombiU does the 'going through your inventory in real time' element better because it's more simple and intuitive in that game, whereas having to combine items in this game is probably difficult to do when you're rushing because there's enemies around. But maybe that's a good thing that encourages you to make what you think you're going to need in advance, and be prepared!

[@Nightkrowler]

***** Yah. I really love realistic games and in RL (if there were Zombies and stuff around), you would not take your sweet time to make fire bullets when Zombies are around. And since bleeding comes in irregular paces, I'd ALWAYS have at least 1 bandage on me. Just in case.

[@TenshiCat]

Nightkrowler Yeah, I would too - that seems to be a realistic challenge in this game, you can't hold all that much in your jacket but you need to have some first aid on hand in case you get injured

[@SuperArppis]

Actually CPR can fracture rips, as you need to put a lot of pressure on the chest. In most TV shows they do it very weakly and don't even have their arms straight. I suppose they do this in order to not harm the actor who gets CPR.

[@5carecrow94]

SuperArppis I once had someone tell me, "If you don't fracture any ribs, you're doing it wrong."

[@SuperArppis]

***** Haha :D

[@KuruttaKoibito]

But punching people in the chest dosent really count as CPR

[@SuperArppis]

@@KuruttaKoibito I suppose it doesn't. :p But atleast he applies enough force for the heart. Still, his hands are pretty limp!

[@cjhs2006]

so The People Who Made This Version of Alone in The Dark Are Fans of Supernatural

[@psykopyro]

Please. Please stop using capitals at the beginning of every word. It's fucking dumb.

[@sunnydfangirl]

I like how the CPR thing was the one thing they got right. Jared, you actually do want to push uber hard when doing CPR. Cracking ribs is normal in that instance.

[@justanotheryoutubechannel]

I would’ve made the protagonist from Alone in the Dark (360) the son or something of Edward Carnby, as he really shouldn’t be alive after so many years, and if he was he definitely wouldn’t look so young. And also, being fair, it’s kinda hard to make someone look similar to a guy who’s head is comprised of about 20 polygons, and it’d be really hard to give the original Edward Carnby a scar using 20 flat-shaded polygons, so maybe he was always supposed to have one.

[@HateshWarkio]

TBH I am actually impressed by some of the mechanics. Yeah, it doesn't look like a good game but some of those mechanics look intriguing.

[@Arkatox]

Decided to come back and watch this after Jared's Top Ten Worst Games of 2014, and dang... this is pretty nostalgic. Even just the intro. I guess I've been watching ProJared for a long time, hahah.

[@plasticbutler]

Demon voice: I'll get you next time, Gadget!!!

[@pokejoseph]

plasticbutler Brown Bricks Minecrap

[@jessecain9717]

Edward: I don't know anyone named Gadget and f*ck you anyway.

[@octaviogmenez2839]

*his face at he beginning* "Im playin Alone in the Dark" I bursed out laughing for no reason

[@dwanedibly8129]

3:20... Almost like Resident Evil! *Sympathetic trombone blow*

[@dwanedibly8129]

Also, did anyone else think the demon lady's voice sounded a bit too much like Doom's eye from Shadow the Hedgehog?

[@ShiningSpear]

Nobody played Shadow the Hedgehog.

[@blueblur98]

i played shadow the hedgehog . it was my second sonic game. i still own that same copy to this very day.

[@obotprime339]

Actually, quite a few people did.

[@freighttrain9045]

I remember watching the trailer for this and being hyped as hell. Especially the driving stages that were displayed on the trailer, it looked awesome! Then my parents got me the game as a birthday present on it's release and I hated it so much... It's one of the worst games I've ever played.

[@matthewchapman1146]

I never knew who you were until the unfortunate events of the last few months. That being said your videos are pretty entertaining and I enjoy watching them.

[@plcthelegacy4131]

"I'm the LightBringer!!! I'M THE*BEEP*ING UNIVERSE!!!" I don't know why, but bleeping it just made it funnier.

[@WolfCoder]

How come "I'M THE FUCKING UNIVERSE" isn't a meme already?

[@lavabite]

There's no image to go with it. It's just a awesome quote also, IM THE FUCKING UNIVERSE!!!!!!

[@ThatOneNakedGuy]

Because memes are trash and only funny to awkward kids.

[@nc2669]

Personally, gotta give the award for funniest line to "I don't have your stone, and fuck you anyway!" That should be a meme

[@GodOfTheeGames]

Ktumbu Shenanigans Yeah... That seems eligible. Perhaps "stone" would be the word to be replaced. Example: "I don't have your weed, and fuck you anyway!'. Seems fitting, am I right?... No? ...Okay then :(

[@nc2669]

GodOfTheeGames lol :)

[@funnyguy6879]

This game is the answer to the undying question. "What game's title can describe your sex life?"

[@neves6867]

Aneadlys mine is Dying Light ;-;

[@funnyguy6879]

Select WTF feels bad man

[@jonahbrown5669]

Devil May Cry

[@stwbmc98]

There’s a KZbinr named Jacksfilms who made a whole video about games that describe your sex life. Give it a look, it’s pretty funny.

[@sterlingmuse5808]

You mean, Metal Gear Solid Rising didn't work for you?

[@SolidSonicTH]

"I'm playing Alone in the Dark." Are you, though? Looks like you have the lights on.

[@starlightwitch12]

RIP James McCaffrey (Edward Carnby voice actor)

[@apselbluestar2223]

one of the first youtube review videos I ever saw. still come back to it

[@Bullyhunter1683]

So you're saying, if someone took each game mechanic, and made several games, each one using one or two of these mechanics, those games would be awesome. Whoever made this game should do that, they'd get a bit of bad press but I'm sure they'd get away with it using your review as an example. Saying "When we put all of them together, we have too many mechanics, so we decided to separate them".

[@YukoAsho]

I was about to say, this is five or so games worth of ideas, all implemented in a rough state in the one game instead of being refined for their own games...

[@NashTheBlade]

That whole innovation of having a TV Show like presentation could honestly work in some cases....Has anyone here ever played Asura's Wrath?...Then you know where I am getting at.

[@MiloTheMightyDude]

Episodic games, when done right, also applies to this.

[@TheKarui]

+Xavior TheLycan (The Black Hood) No. Just no.

[@NashTheBlade]

TheKarui Something wrong with Asura's Wrath?

[@TheKarui]

Xavior TheLycan I play games to play games. Keep TV out of it

[@jdjohnson1591]

+TheKarui Other than how it affects the story, I don't see a game with episodic cutscenes necessarily being a bad thing, or at least not something to look down on a game for.

[@LuffyMonkey0327]

"I'm glad this never caught on." Then a few years later came out "Battlefield Hardline" and "Quantum Break"

[@mrmackellar3337]

Rickety-rickety Ross'd and the telltale games

[@5carecrow94]

Rickety-rickety Ross'd Only game to ever do it right was Alan Wake.

[@Arcademan09]

Rickety-rickety Ross'd Resident Evil copied it too

[@WH250398]

And they both sucked lol

[@tyleradam4836]

"They tried to force in innovation where it wasn't needed. Kinda like motion controls." Oh, if only you knew about Star Fox Zero...

[@mharizsaifuddin7059]

Batnado... I like to see a movie of that...

[@RoseTheKitty1]

XD what if it was just a tornado of Batman's face or something

[@mharizsaifuddin7059]

The_Butter_Kity123 Then that would be Bat shit crazy...

[@RoseTheKitty1]

Mhariz Saifuddin XD

[@dr_lazer4694]

Mhariz Saifuddin NO, non of that! SHAME!

[@gutter3104]

We need ponynado :D

[@Necroscide]

The lawn mower analogy was spot on lmao I remember playing this game every day for a summer while achievement hunting. It was too hard for me to beat as a middle schooler

[@LovelyCheesePizza]

And the lead voice actor in this game is the same dude that voiced Max Payne.

[@Apprentice_of_the_Leonine]

Are you shitting me? What a fucking demotion. What did the guy do to deserve such punishment?

[@WowMyNameIsUnique]

doctor345678 Money..?

[@tarransanders21]

I didn't want to believe it. But that is indeed James McCafferey.

[@hgmpd43]

Naoto Shirogane Your profile photo gave new meaning to my life

[@tarransanders21]

Amazing isn't it?

[@SoloJona]

Jared rises again. Just like the phoenix... the concept, not the movie

[@SteelRims]

Edward: "I don't have your stone, and @#$! you anyway!" Probably not the smartest thing to say to a desperate, power hungry demon who is eager to raise hell on earth.

[@Jordan3DS]

And now... we are getting a sequel! :D

[@joseagustincuesta]

You gotta be kidding me.

[@Lalle524]

They call it alone in the dark, and its a *stop me if you have heard this before* a Four Player co op survival round game

[@joseagustincuesta]

jasper daugaard You broke me. Who the fuck is the developer!?

[@Lalle524]

Pure FPS *yes, that is the name of them. Lucky for us its their first game* and the full name is Alone In The Dark Illumination. There are 4 playable characters *hunter, witch, priest, and engineer*

[@joseagustincuesta]

jasper daugaard I'l just give them the benefit of the doubt with that name. But holy crap!! How can you put the words "dark" and "illumination" right next to each other when the game is called Alone in the Dark. And holy crap x2!! How can you make a co-op game when the fucking the name of the damn franchise starts with the word "alone"!! What the fuck!?

[@RubyRaggy]

Imagine playing this game if you're colorblind.

[@ChrisChettleburgh]

It would look exactly the same

[@mikhailmolotov6663]

Chris Chettleburgh lmfao

[@kokorolex]

It would be disappointing...

[@beefstrongenough5921]

mikhailmolotov666 Its true...I'm colour blind no problem (I'm European so the colour is correct):)

[@Fjolltzu]

i did not get that please explain ? and you can see colours if you are colour blind but some colours mixed together wont work, like green and red together and blue and and a special red for me

[@lathyrussy]

Gonna try and give you more support, Jared. By sleeping and letting your vids just run in the bg. This is one of my faves and I haven't seen it in forever!

[@Skipjaws]

Btw, Edward Carnaby is voiced by the same guy that did Max Payne. No wonder he is depressed.

[@seanblack1320]

Actually I took a cpr class and yes that's appropriate pressure. Broken ribs are possible but considering the goal is saving the person's life it's definitely worth it.

[@tomitiustritus6672]

I loved that game so much. I was aware of it's quirks and shortcomings, but i fell in love with what it was trying to do and what of that it managed to pull off. I've not yet seen a greater inventory system in any game. So many mechanics and details. Some of them pulled off better than others. Stuff like plastic bottles making different firebombs than glass bottles. Pokimg holes in plastic bottles making them leak, so you can lay fuses or even throw it leaking fuel behind. The liquid level in the bottle actually changing when it empties and reacting to looking down or up. And all that stuff combined with a look-through-your-pockets-inventory system that doesn't pause the game around you. Stuff like that made me fall in love. Though i understand frustration with the implementation.

[@jacobharrison2425]

Me and the boys watching old projared videos to support jared

[@CraftyAndyCreates]

the highlight was definitely cutting an arm off with a pool cue.

[@GHL24845]

That was a sword

[@OptimusPhillip]

The sad thing is that I'm only 16 years old, and I, on my own, came up with an idea for a survival horror game better than this. I'm gonna leave it here if you want to read it and give me some input. The setup is that man-eating plants have infested Manhattan Island, and you need to survive the growing season until the December frost. You're given the entire island to explore, and as the game progresses through the growing season, the plants gradually get larger. All you need to do to win is survive, but you get a better ending if you manage to get to the mainland before the frost, which gets more and more difficult the longer time passes, and it's going to take time to get there. The game would utilize an injury mechanic, where rather than traditional progressive health, your character can be injured in numerous ways, and different injuries need to be healed in different ways, some even causing instant death. Beyond that, it's going to be standard fare.

[@EskChan19]

The idea is not bad, but there are countless good ideas that would make great games. It's the ability to actually make them into a game that is limited.

[@jonahbrown5669]

Meh

[@TheEnixSquared]

"I'm playing alone in the dark." I'm so sorry Jared... I'd play with you