Am i just a brainwashed tradwife? The TRUTH about being a modern homemaker...

[@debramoore8336]

As a disabled Veteran, who was the primary breadwinner and caretaker for a husband dying of cancer, a toddler and newborn, I know how important it was to be a homemaker. I made a difficult decision to quit my well paying federal job and become a full time homemaker shortly after I delivered. My husband died a few months later. I lived on survivor's Social Security and the money I accumulated by buying fixer uppers, renovating them while living in them, then selling them. I eventually remarried and my homemaker status allowed me to be the primary caretaker for my father-in-law until he died, for my husband when he crushed his leg and was laid up in our living room for a year and then for my mother who had leukemia. At 69, I am now able to care for my grandchildren so they don't have to be placed in daycare. I have no regrets.

[@donna1018]

Thank you for your service ❤

[@Looseey1973]

Thank you for your service.

[@jasonpowers3094]

Amen sister! It’s called sacrifice. I was a single mom with a disabled child, I stayed home with my children and I do not regret it for one second. It was definitely a challenge, but a blessing as well!

[@jasonpowers3094]

Amen sister! It’s called sacrifice. I was a single mom with a disabled child, I stayed home with my children and I do not regret it for one second. It was definitely a challenge, but a blessing as well!

[@jasonpowers3094]

I think all these haters against homemakers need to sit down and make a list of each job of a homemaker and how much she would be paid. Most people cannot handle this job for a week

[@Topg1]

I am a childfree career woman. I have a friend who is a homemaker. She homeschool’s her children. She keeps the house in order. She make sure food is prepared for her husband and their family. People have to pay people to do what housewives do everyday. Whether your a career woman or homemaker you are valuable.

[@karineaghajanyan]

So is she getting paid? No. Besides, putting words value & human next to each other is bad idea, just because it's common expression doesn't mean it's right, humans are INVALUABLE. Love, respect, care & loyalty is what matters. What most criticise about that lifestyle, is TOTAL FINANCOIAL DEPENDENCE, lack of any former work experience & education, it's not a matter of bad or good husband, it's matter of a ONE UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT that will demolish her & kids life, people have strange difficulty undestanding this VERY IMPORTANT fact! But again choose what's best for you no choice guarantees 100% wins but at least be smart about it!

[@rocioprice7929]

Thank you so much for speaking for women who choose to take care of their family. I believe we would have a better world and stronger society.

[@grandmakatemakes]

I'm a 52 yo homemaker. The kids are grown and gone. I love being able to take care of just hubs and I. I absolutely LOVE seeing young women wanting to be at home with their children! There's no greater job than that! (But if it's not for you that's okay too. 😊)

[@isabellabourgeois6060]

Thank you for saying that a working mom (outside of the house) IS also a homemaker! I'm a teacher but I also do EVERYTHING at home (from cleaning to cooking and doing laudry and supervising homeworks etc etc...). The fact that I have a work outside the house often conceals the fact that I also work at home for my family and it's sad

[@joanmatchett8100]

I would go as far as to say , homemaking is a skill, my Mother kept a lovely home, was a wonderful cook .She could sew , crochet , embroider , knit and make rug's, clothes , hat's etc , our home was always neat and tidy , and Mother did all the decorating , and she managed to be well dressed , hair styled and makeup. It's about time homemaker's were given the respect they deserve .

[@amandab.6815]

That's so true! Homemakers are highly skilled! They just don't get a paycheck for it.

[@pattyhansen7563]

I tell others that I am a professional at what I do. I get up every morning & do the best I can - I am a very busy mother, wife, farmer, etc...If I wasn't home, everything would start to fall apart. And yes, I get DRESSED in the a.m. Makes you feel better about yourself & you're ready for anything the day throws at you.

[@joanmatchett8100]

@@pattyhansen7563 You have my utmost respect , I'm not the best homemaker in the world, l have to try very hard at it , hence , l say , it is a skill .

[@princessgemz271]

Agreed. I struggle so much. I used to be a decent homemaker until I went back to the work force for 8 years. I couldn’t handle both properly. When I finally quit and stayed home full time again I realized I had lost that rhythm and flow that I had years ago. It’s been over a year and I’m barely getting accustomed and getting a rythm going. Maybe I’m just slow 😢

[@joanmatchett8100]

@@princessgemz271 We do our best , and our best is good enough, chin up .

[@kathrync.144]

This is such an important message. I pursued a high power career because I thought it was the feminist thing to do. I realized in 2020 that the ACTUAL feminist thing to do is do what I want to do! Spoiler, i do not want to work 80 hours a week and pay a stranger a fortune to watch my children 😂 When my student loans are paid off, I plan to have children and stay home with them if it’s financially feasible. Everyone should do what is best for them - not frame their lives based on the opinions of others

[@anastasiya256]

Yeah, F the rat race!

[@bunny_0288]

I hated working outside the home. I found it soul sucking. I felt like I never had any time to do what I wanted to do. I always felt stressed out. Ugh it was awful! I love being a homemaker! I get to plan my days. I feel so free! Yes I have my homemaking responsibilities, but when I finish those I am free to do whatever I want!!!! My husband is a very easy man to please, so I have a very low stress life. I also have the freedom to make my homemaking responsibilities as enjoyable as possible. I listen to music or audiobooks while I clean. I watch a show or a movie while I fold laundry. In the summer I carve out time in the afternoon to go to the pool. I take my dog on a walk whenever I want to. I love being a homemaker! I also enjoy writing as a hobby and I'm currently writing a novel for fun! I love the freedom I have!!! I don't understand the trope of the unhappy housewife who feels trapped. We can do whatever we want when we want to do it! Working at a job is what made me feel trapped. Having to be there at a certain time and do certain tasks at certain times. Ugh it's awful. I love being in charge of my days.

[@jice7074]

A good homemaker I believe starts with having the right mate. It takes two to make it work. People who mock the TW/Homemaker role talk about prescription rates back in the 50's as proof the lifestyle was bad for women. Prescription rates are the same today and both eras had self-education as well. People need to find their happiness and that has more to do with choosing the environment best for you, nurturing it and having the right partner.

[@rokzane]

I have a lot of respect for women who stay home to raise their kids, especially when they have more than two, but women who stay home just because they hate working, and they don't have kids? Nope. It doesn't sound like you have kids. They would have been your first mention. Nope, sounds like you grew up spoiled and hate adult responsibilities.

[@bunny_0288]

@@rokzane No I don't have children. I have tried for years, but we have been unable to. And why don't you see the work inside the home as valuable? I do all the cleaning, shopping/errands, meal planning, cooking, baking, laundry, ironing, gardening, organizing, decorating, budgeting, etc. If my husband paid me for all that I do, he couldn't afford me 😂 Why does my work not have value just because I don't receive an official paycheck for it? Would you tell a woman who cleans other people's houses for a living that she doesn't like adult responsibilities? What about a personal chef? Or a Gardner? Or a personal assistant? What is the difference? I'm doing the same work as any of the jobs I just listed off, I just don't get an official paycheck for my work. So getting paid is the only way someone is a responsible adult? I fail to see the logic in this. How does a paycheck change the work being done? We don't need the money. I would be working just to work. Wearing myself out and adding stress to my life and my husband's life for no reason. My husband has built an incredible career and he would be the first to tell you that my work at home has enabled him to be able to focus on his career. He spends his off of work time relaxing and recharging. We are two people doing two jobs. He provides for us, and I care for all of the home responsibilities. That way both of us have tons of free time. I'm about to go tidy up the house right now and put together a meal plan for next week, and my husband is playing video games and relaxing. We are a team and this is how we have divided up our work. And it has blessed our marriage so much, and it has given me the ability to bless others. I have made meals for friends who are sick. I volunteer my time at church. I have helped my sister with her kids for the last 16 years. This has allowed her to get free babysitting any time she has needed it. I just encourage you to question why you think work only counts when a person gets paid. And why we need to work 60 hours a week. Because that's what would happen if my husband and I both worked. We would put in a full day at the office and then we would have to divvy up all the housework. So instead of us both working 37 hours a week (that's how much my husband works)... We would both be working 60 hours. And for what? More money to buy stuff we don't need 😂. We would both rather have the time.

[@rokzane]

@@bunny_0288 There are two people in your household. TWO. And both of you are functioning adults. I never said you had to work full time. Parenting is meaningful work. Being a childless SAH trophy wife is not using your full potential, and that's sad to see. Every adult should be engaged in meaningful work.

[@rokzane]

@@bunny_0288 Also your "at home paid less work" is not serving anyone but your husband, who is an adult fully capable of taking care of himself. I was an employed chef for years. I did that work because it brought great satisfaction to serve well prepared food to the public who came to the restaurants I worked in specifically to eat my food. I've worked in a variety of trades over the years, including housecleaning, carpentry, general construction, and handy man services. all in service to other people who need those services. It's not about being paid. It's about what you are contributing to your community. If you are not serving and raising kids being a SAHM, and are just more or less a trophy wife with nothing meaningful to do, you are wasting your potential and your gifts as a human being who lives in community with other humans.

[@katherinereynolds3659]

It is a privilege to be a homemaker and to homeschool my kids. I get to keep them with me all day! I love that! It’s hard work and some days I just want time alone but it is still a huge blessing!

[@sajmt1414]

I so agree.

[@wkmacs4738]

Couldn't have said it better 👌🏾

[@dezy7465]

I agree !! I’m right where God wants me to be 🙏🏼

[@jessicaladd85]

Yes!!!

[@ari3lz3pp]

❤ Amen! Of course we all want our alone time sometimes. We get less than most, but as kids can be safe and get older they want privacy too and you can get that, and before that there's nap time! I have a severe special needs child and we only started to get some help in the last year, after 9 years, the first year more people were willing to sometimes watch our child but we still had that happen maybe a handful of times before our busy family stepped away for not being able to handle it. So it's been a blessing this year having family we can trust to be with our kid for a date night every few months... unfortunately she's moving away! Lol 🙈 But we know we can handle it. Especially as our children are older. I just have a hard time with how many other parents think it's an ice-breaker to put down their kids and act like it's a low-key brag to say stuff like "UGH I can't wait for them to go back to school! 😂" ...... seriously they come off prideful about not wanting to actively parent and bond with their kids. It blows my mind. And I can feel sorry for their kids. I try to be polite and just say things like "oh really?" With sympathy LOL Which results in awkwardness usually. Then they don't talk with me. That's ok with me! 😅

[@darcysimental5299]

“Choose your regrets, don’t let them be chosen for you.” 🙌🏽 Thank you for having an adult conversation without all the caveats, we all need to learn to take things with a grain of salt and think for ourselves in the bounds of our situation.

[@lr50plus54]

Yes you said it at one point. Feminism is about women having a choice. Just because you found some critical articles that are on the far end of “feminism” doesn’t mean that feminism is wrong. There are drastic and radical views on both ends of the spectrum.

[@annfromma8456]

Thank you for validating that bring a homemaker is a job. I made that choice around 10 years ago, to care for my ailing mother, and I would make the same decision a million times over.

[@jenealeverett2269]

Same here

[@Pnwheartout]

Spit the truth! I love your opening statement! I wish I could be a stay at home mother but my circumstances are different but I’m hoping to work hard enough that my daughters could stay home for their future children.

[@beka.in.alaska]

Been following for years and years. Was pleasantly surprised by your bluntness. Thank you for being so encouraging and kind, while also not sugar coating things. You are an awesome resource for young women trying to learn the ropes.

[@rachaelstilley5132]

Whoa, I just have to pause and thank you for your words. thank you!! I’ve been a homemaker for 13+ years. I usually brush off rude comments poking fun at my life’s work from others, but as a listen to you tears well in my eyes because you said it so well. when I expressed my deep desires to raise my children myself before I even had them, I felt most people thought that to be weird and unambitious. I’m so grateful every day for the path that has lead me to the truly hard, but ever rewarding job of being a homemaker and now- a new homeschool mom too!!! 🤩 I’m so glad I didn’t let those voices rip me from my calling all those years ago. I absolutely love what I do with my days and even though some chores are mundane, everyday is different and I’ve never been bored a single day! We live with less because I don’t bring in an income outside my home, but I wouldn’t trade these days for any amount of money!!!These kids/pets & my husband keep me on my toes. I could not avocate more for women to spend as much time as possible with their children as the grow so stinking fast. 😢 The times I’ve felt most proud of being a woman are the mothering moments including pregnancy and giving birth.

[@Sjp374]

Thanks for this. I’m a home maker and home schooler. The top two reactions I get are: 1. I could never do what you do. It’s hard…. Well, my style of home making is a reflection of my personality. There are things I’m naturally good at and things I’m not. And some things take years to slowly cultivate. Comparing a newbie to one whose been doing this for a decade is apples and oranges. 2. You must be rich because nobody can stay home now. This one is tricky… I do feel blessed. I do recognize that not everyone can just clip more coupons to solve their financial struggles. At the same time, it’s a bit of a myth that you have to be independently wealthy to have a full-time home maker. I have home maker friends who are anything but rich. We exist in many circles, and we have our struggles and worries, too. Don’t write us all off as being pampered and carefree or out of touch with reality.

[@sarahe397]

Just want to second you on your #2 reaction. My mom was home full time with my sister and I. They were on food stamps for awhile, we lived with my grandparents for awhile. They would have been more financially stable if my mom had worked instead of my dad.. It all just comes down to priorities. I mean, how many people do we know that spend nearly a full paycheck on daycare…? I still got a degree but I knew that as soon as I had kids, I’d want to be home.

[@rokzane]

​​@@sarahe397Both parents working doesn't mean their kids are or have to be in daycare. Both of my parents worked because they knew there wouldn't be college for the kids if they didn't, and my mother got super depressed staying at home. She hated being away from her nursing career. They worked opposite schedules so a parent was almost alwats home, and we lived near my grandparents, and they were a constant, reliable presence in our lives.

[@polkadotpandadesign3603]

I loved staying home with my son for the first 5 years. I viewed my home as my job that I was lucky enough to love. I had pride in saving money by cooking at home, having time to keep my home clean without stressing about my outside job, and being the person to teach my son about the world.

[@monicaschroeder650]

Thank you for this. I left a great career to raise great children. This was 30 years ago and I was not supported by family, friends, media, etc. My daughters are happy, contributing young adult women and I am so grateful I considered it, did the math, and stuck to my decision. I appreciate you! Thanks, Moni

[@amandazplace5663]

Good video, Angela! Very thought-provoking. I would add: 👉You don't have to be a practicing member of a religion to be a homemaker 👉You don't have to be heterosexual to be a homemaker 👉You can be an "empty-nester" and be a homemaker 👉You can be childless and be a homemaker 👉You can be a husband and be a homemaker 👉You can not want to be a homemaker and STILL support the right for women (and men) to choose to be homemakers Okay, NOW you can clutch your pearls!😆 ♥️🇨🇦

[@MarisaAndChew]

Love these add-ons.

[@carrieann5714]

I’m a childless homeworker. I still have to take care of my home… still can’t get the cats to pull their weight

[@cantocant2346]

One hundred percent! The freedom for women to make decisions about their lives and futures is what's important.

[@MarisaAndChew]

@@carrieann5714 🤣 everyday I ask my dog to make my coffee and everyday he says he doesn't have thumbs... Ask him to do other things and he's too short. Dude is full of excuses 🧐😂

[@carrieann5714]

@@MarisaAndChew haha 😂 would it kill them to do some laundry while they were home all day?

[@sundynightlive]

Thank you for your channel. I am 56 and didn’t give homemaking my whole heart until my late 40s. I was always trying to chase what I thought I had to do. When I began tuning out everyone else, I could hear my own inner voice screaming, hey, I’m here!

[@sundynightlive]

Actually I just turned 58 on Christmas. I pray your mind doesn’t forget such important facts. Again, love your channel. Women need each other. It’s very important, this content

[@m.d.b.6318]

Am a homemaker and homeschool my children. Wish there was more support from community. church etc...Tired of dealing with other moms insecurities/jealouslies. But thank you for the content on this channel. It is sometimes my girls' night! 😉😳🤭 Thoughts welcomed!🙏

[@hippiechick73]

So true! I also wish it was easier to have friends. It gets lonely living in a neighborhood where everyone works during the day. If you are new to a town, it is very hard to meet people when you are home all day. My closest friends are phone buddies who I knew from school days.

[@mariaanjonker6195]

I really don't think they are jealous or have insecurities. I think that they have different world views than you.

[@MandyRay]

Get 'em, Angie! "Homemaker" somehow has become a bad word because the world has started to devalue it's worth by making it look like an undesirable way of life. I love that you pointed out that no matter what choices you make in your life, you will be sacrificing for someone. I choose to sacrifice for my husband, children and friendships rather than people who don't care about any of those relationships in my life. I've learned that I might regret not being there or spending time with those people, but I will never regret when I did choose them. Time is fleeting. Thank you for the reminders for every walk and choice.

[@living4jesuschrist843]

Being a Homemaker is the best way to learn what it means to sacrifice, love and serve one another without pay or receiving anything in return, just like Jesus wants us all in the world to be learning and doing🥰 it is an honour to love and serve my family and those God puts in my life🙂 Our Rewards are in heaven!

[@estherj.walker8658]

Whew.. Amen! People judge so harshly because our life is so different. We are BOTH present at home..but it is not without work! We would regret so much if we didn't stay at home. My husband is still the breadwinner ultimately....but his support and discipline is paramount to our success at home. I've been trying so hard to become the homemaker my heart desires❤ I want to serve my family better than before 💞

[@holidaygirl1224]

I am a proud single mother and career woman. I work hard at my career, but I’m also a homemaker. I sacrifice for my son to have a high quality education, but I also love to bake bread, meal prep, sew, knit, garden, and keep things (relatively 😅) clean. I keep the lights on by working hard while he’s at school. I think it’s all on a spectrum. Label yourself in the ways that you relate to best ❤

[@ReturnToSenderz]

I have a huge amount of respect for single parents because you have to fill the roles of (at least) two people, and filling the role of one is hard enough! I don’t know anybody better at finding ways to save money and keep house while providing financially AND teaching her kids all kinds of skills AND putting time aside for fun (sometimes all at the same time, somehow!) than my mother-in-law, single-mom and absolute mama bear. Your description reminded me of her, and that’s absolutely a compliment. 😁

[@disorientedinfeminism1589]

You shouldn't be proud to be a single Mom, it harms your child not seeing a functional family.

[@LarryVasquez82]

​@@disorientedinfeminism1589proud because despite their circumstances they still manage to work and raise their kids, fullfil their duty as parents. Some ended up becoming a single parent because their partner left the world too early. We don't know their story and shouldn't judge them harshly.

[@karineaghajanyan]

@@disorientedinfeminism1589 cut the crap you have no idea how or why she became single, miserable parents NEVER raise happy kids, what if her husband tell or cheated? Should she sacrifice herself fora trash as long as he is Ina family? And what example that would be for kids? Self respect is a good thing, many people lack these days, teaching kids what that is, is very important from young age, they learn all from parents & you are in no position sit here & tell her what to do or judge!

[@melissac8232]

Everything you’ve said is on-point. There will always be those people out there that will say horrible things about homemakers and we just have to ignore them because their minds won’t be changed (for the most part). But it is comforting to see these videos and know that there are a bunch of women who can come together to agree that homemaking is extremely valuable. The skills we would use in the workplace we just choose to use at home in order to live fuller lives. I worked for a bank for 10 years prior to getting married and I am currently a stay at home mom with 1 kid. I would never trade what I do now to go back to the bank. The bank can replace me but I am irreplaceable, valued, and needed where I am now. You’re awesome Angela I wish we could be friends! ❤ Side note: I think the term “homemaker” used to be used as an occupation title which is why a lot of people have that all-or-nothing attitude towards it.

[@jessmarie7082]

I'm a working mom and my only regret so far has been not being able (or not wanting to, in the past) to stay home and be with my children. My youngest is now a teen and I wish I could have that time back. 😢

[@ashleymarieeee]

I am a working mom and honestly don’t understand why people can’t just let others live. I respect your life and your choices. I too enjoy my children and baking and organizing. I also absolutely thrive in my career and that’s cool too. Alexa play “why can’t we be friends”.

[@ethangamer7869]

I think the reason it has become necessary for women to start speaking out about the benefits of being a SAHM is because for the last 40+ years the word homemaker has been treated like a dirty word, looked down on and criticized as being not ambitious enough or “just” a homemaker. There has been a national campaign to push women out of the home into the workforce. As a result women and men have become more unhappy and the children are not doing well. The family unit as a concept is being destroyed because traditional roles have been completely upended. Society cannot thrive if this doesn’t change. Not everyone is cut out for being a trad wife and that’s fine but generally most women if really being honest would choose that lifestyle if given the option.

[@ashleymarieeee]

@@ethangamer7869 I think a lot of women were forced into the workforce due to the economy and ridiculous inflation. Also families are less happy, I agree, but there’s a lot more going on than simply more women working. Everyone demands more of families and they have less help and money to do it all with. I empathize with women who would love to stay home and can’t afford it or feel guilted into working, that’s horrible, everyone should have the option. I do have the option (we could live on either partners income, actually) and am a much better parent when I have a career. I am super super lucky to work from home and my husband does too. We are incredibly privileged to have the flexibility and family support system we do. I wish everyone had such luxuries available to them.

[@ThingsAbove333]

The choices are as unique as the individuals. Woman have always, since the start of time, worked hard. Today we work more outside the home because we don't usually run big gardens, have aminals whatever. We still need money to live. Our old-fashioned counterparts sold eggs, took in others laundry, cleaned others homes...they often worked outside the home...maybe not exactly like today because time has changed. A true feminist allows women to choose. That's what we fought for...that each woman could choose for herself how she wanted to live. Somewhere along the way we got stuck on one choice having to be better than the other. This simply isn't true. People are FREE to live out their own unique walk in life.

[@JYYB]

​@@ethangamer7869well said!

[@smmwellington]

I love everything about this video. I'm a "retired" homeschool mom with two college grads and one college sophomore and one college senior. I'm 52 and am blessed to still be a homemaker. With hubby working from home as well, we are enjoying being empty nesters. I love when all of my kiddos come home to visit too.

[@kniddelliz7512]

Choice is really what it boils down to. Do what fulfills you! If being a homemaker brings you joy, that's wonderful. If a job/career gives you validation, that's also wonderful. We need to lift each other up because we're all just trying to do the best that we can😊

[@abbypepper2461]

Preach Sister!!! I have been a SAHM for 20 years! I still get asked well, do you do all day now that all your kids are in school!

[@SimplyEnjoyingLife]

I'm a homemaker who doesn't happen to have children....that seems to make it even harder for people to grasp "what I do all day". My husband encourages me to just tell them that I eat bon bons. 🤷🏻‍♀ I've been tempted to say that I'm a content creator as a way to explain myself, but I don't really like to tell people about that 😂, and I do it in a very small capacity; plus that's not the reason I'm a homemaker. I choose to be confident and when people ask what I do, I say that I take care of our home and leave it at that.

[@annak184]

You don't have to be a mom to be a caregiver or homemaker. Sometimes being such a person means being a taker for someone who currently needs us - a sad neighbor, a parrot that escaped from its cage or a plant that needs care. No labels apply to you!

[@colleenpakkianathan3151]

So good, Angie!!! It took me a long time to recognize that I did not have to do EVERYTHING at home to perfection to justify staying home as an MD with high earning potential as an anesthesiologist! I had to learn to give myself the grace to be MY version of a home maker without trying to prove I was somehow worthy of leaving medicine behind. Now I am a content homeschooling mama of four, whose house gets messy on the regular and whose meal planning sometimes involves convenience food dinners.

[@AprilMorgan-c4c]

Being a stay at home wife and mother, was the best time of my life. We homeschooled our children, and now we are helping with our grandkids.😊

[@Lisa-sf4fy]

Just discovered your channel. I have advanced degrees but choose to stay home with my kids and do side hustles. I'm non-traditional and want every woman to have the choice. I did home birth, home schooling and organic food. I do not regret one of those decisions. And my adult children tell me they are so glad to have been homeschooled.

[@caraduchnowski794]

Angela, this is exactly what I needed to hear today. I have been a stay at home mom for my whole life. First raising my own children, then doing in home daycare and then raising two of my grandkids for six years. I've always struggled with finding my self worth even though I know my "work" is important. I'm frustrated with people asking what I do for a living and then when I say I'm a stay at home mom they look at you differently. I may not bring in a paycheck but I bring in so much more. Thank you for sharing this video. You have made me feel better today about taking care of my family.

[@caseynewcamp6194]

I love seeing more and more bits of prepping content 👏🏻 I believe REAL skills will be so valuable one day

[@renevanzyl7084]

Seriously about time more influencers take a position just like you did in this video

[@jennarodriguez9858]

I love how fired up you get about this! I had a good job in the stock market when I had my first daughter. I quit and never looked back. It hurt my stomach to think of leaving her. I thank my husband frequently for working so I can stay home with our two little girls, even though many days are tough and discouraging.

[@kathychatterton5623]

I became an accidental homemaker (military husband sent to an area with no jobs). I honestly loved it, it allowed me the time to do more of the things I loved to do. I had worked largely for economic reasons. Both current needs and it allowed me to secure my financial future without HAVING to depend on another. In time the marriage ended and I had to support myself again. When I was able to stay at home I described it by saying I worked in the home. Let me say my mother and paternal grandmother both were teachers, (never knew my maternal grandmother, though she was also a teacher) working outside the home was just what women in my family did. I turn 70 in a week, I take every opportunity to tell younger women how much I loved that time and urge them to follow their hearts if they can make it work. I loved the part about choosing your regrets. Decades ago I made the decision that if I were going to have regrets, they would be for acts of commission not omission, that was almost 50 years ago and I have never regretted it.

[@spinninggardener]

This was so validating! After leaving my "career" to care for my family, you have helped me validate and adjust to my new role that I love.🎉

[@skillhunterffv4058]

I would also like to point out that just because your kids have gotten older means you have to go to work. My kids are 17 and 15 and I have chosen to continue being a stay at home mom. Teenagers need their mommas as much as when they did when they where toddlers. They are preparing to inter adulthood and need support and guidance. I have fought hard to stay at home. It is such a privilege!!!

[@pattyhansen7563]

me, too. i think they need me more now than when they were little. They are 20 & 17. I have zero intention of going 'back to work' when they leave home. my husband loves me bing home. I do all the stuff he doesn't have time for😂

[@Melissa-gn3dv]

Right. They don't need you any less when they grow up. It's still good to have time for them.

[@ReturnToSenderz]

Yeah, I think a lot of people are pressured into going back to the workforce whether they want to or not. Sometimes it’s a financial necessity to get a second paycheck, and sometimes the person wants to go out and work for their own reasons, but keeping house is a full-time job in itself even if the kids are in school or grown. We shouldn’t have to justify not going back into the workforce to anyone outside our household. Most homemakers are busy fixing, maintaining, and creating the things the household needs, but the general assumption is that we’re watching Netflix all day or out blowing our husband’s money on ourselves, so we must have copious amounts of free-time to go “get a real job.” 🙄

[@pattyhansen7563]

@@ReturnToSenderz I ACTUALLY, LITERALLY had a person write in to our local newspaper about me...that I should go back to "siting on the couch, eating bonbons watching tv all day", when I complained about a local school/sports issue. The assumption surrounding me (I was the only mother home at my kids' school, before pulling them out to homeschool) was that I was just loafing all day. in reality, if any of those others tried to keep up with all I do, they would probably faint. I am always willing to take up the bet for a 'wife swap'😁

[@bunny_0288]

My sister says the same thing! Her kids need her just as much now as teens than when they were little. Just in a different way. They need advice and help managing their schedules etc. For me, I'm a homemaker without children. So far, I haven't been able to have any, but I still choose to stay home and care for my husband, our home, and our pets. It has blessed our marriage so much. I have received a lot of judgment for it, but I honestly don't care. I hated working outside the home. It was soul-sucking to me. I love getting to plan my own days and the freedom I have being home. And I love being able to bless my husband who works so hard outside of the home. 💕

[@janna6847]

Parenting is the most important "job" in the world. My mom was a career woman and she's always been a stranger to me. I'm self-employed and homeschool my 3 children. I can't imagine it any other way.

[@eleanor4759]

And up until a few generations ago, it was a respected profession. It was something you leant. Ofc being a mother has changed drastically and is less labour intensive and more about social/intellectual/emotional development, but it's still a set of skills that require discipline and time to master.

[@coolhomeschool2267]

Yes, the parent, who is working outside is away, but not everytime. For us 50:50 father/mother would be great.

[@emtboss]

Preach it, Angela! There is nothing more important or worthy than raising the next generation. My experiences as a mom/caregiver prepared me perfectly to become an RN after my children were grown. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

[@storeywilliams6162]

And lets open the idea that if a woman chooses to work instead and then husband stays home and is the homemaker who works at home instead, that is perfectly okay too! I think it's important as women that we have the ability to make the choice that is right for us. Work FT outside the home, work PT outside the home, work at home, do whatever is best for you and your family.

[@kniddelliz7512]

Couldn't agree more!

[@jessgilbert5586]

The sacrifices that my husband and I have made to keep it possible for me to stay home are HUGE. For the first year or so, the people around us thought that we lost our minds bc of the lifestyle changes and monitory “hits” we took. Now that we’re more settled and this is WORKING for us, we get tons of “yeah, must be nice to be home all day…. we neeeeed two incomes blah blah blah” you really can’t win if someone is committed to their false opinion. I love being home with my babies and learning skills that will keep our home moving forward regardless of the world around us. Working for my family is far more fulfilling than working for anyone else has ever been.

[@simplymattern]

First three minutes and I'm right with you!! ::finger snap applause:: Recovering corporate employee turned homeschool stay at home mom here. And relate to so much to what you're sharing. I admire your boldness and how you articulate your opinions. Thank you!! - Katie 🤗

[@lifestylewithgretter7325]

I am both a work mom and a home maker because I work from home and honestly I wish I could just dedicate all my time to my kids! Thanks so much always for this amazing video. 😊

[@shawnavienneau6148]

I've been a homemaker/ homeschooling our daughter's for over eight years and it's a blessing and a honour for me. It's not always glorious and easy and i have bad and lazy days once in a while but for the most part it's definitely the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm proud of our family and homestead.

[@coffeehubby]

My wife took care of my elderly parents and uncle as a homemaker. I was very proud of her, she helped them better than a home care nurse could. Now they are with the Lord and she is grateful she has good memories of them

[@bygrace20]

I love all your videos, but occasionally you’ll make one that seriously brings me down to earth. I watch a lot of aesthetically pleasing Homemaking KZbinrs, I try to choose the ones that leave me feeling uplifted and inspired, but sometimes it’s still too much. The fact of the matter is we’re a family on a budget, my hair and skin care routine isn’t as lavish, most of our furniture is hand me downs, a lot of are clothes are thrifted, and grass-fed beef is out of the question. Still, I love my life. I feel so blessed to be able to be a full time stay at home mom. My family is all in good health, my garden still grows the most lovely flowers, and dinners of chicken and mashed potatoes tastes just as good sitting around the table with my family that I love. I needed this. I needed the reassurance that it’s okay for me to be the kind of homemaker that I am.

[@papertownhome]

I love that you weighed in on this topic. It’s hard to see homemaking denigrated but the women (and men) advocating for the value of the work for families, and particularly for children, are heroes. So wonderful to read the experiences and the impact many homemakers have had and are having in the lives of their loved ones. When I became a mom it immediately became clear that I was replaceable at work, but not at home. But it took me a few years to take action on that. by leaving work to be with the kids. My hope is young women (and men) start to hear and absorb the message earlier in life. Bless you!

[@TradwifeyDawn]

Love this video. I personally truly enjoy the Trad Wife trend. I don't dress 1950s or think you need to dress that way. It's a reaction to modern day feminism and then you also have smaller factions of eccentric people who take on aesthetic and off the grid life. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I enjoy the inspiration and how beautiful the videos are. Its calming to watch for me. Love your content though and it's more authentic vibe. ❤ You're a beautiful mother, absolute goals for me. 💕

[@DuchesneyMoitt-ud8qj]

Fantastic video!! I agree with everything you said. I'd love to see the video you planned on making one day too! 😍

[@brittanymeiling1]

I really appreciated this. I followed my convictions about 6 months ago and became a homemaker after a very happy decade-long career. It's been an internally divisive decision for me, because I can't help but care what people think of me. The "brainwashed tradwife" videos have come across my feeds and invoked some feelings of shame, despite the fact that I'm living in alignment with my core values. Thanks for shoring us up.

[@Amandafromappalachia]

You’re totally right, there is no “one size fits all” method. I’ve been a SAHM for 11 years and the way I do things has changed time and time again as our family changes. I’ve always kept a garden, always sewed, always cooked from scratch (I’m a little more relaxed about that now), some things have stayed very consistent while others have changed a lot and that’s okay. Not everyone dreams of a high earning career. Simplicity is fine too! I’m able to balance my small business from home while still being a traditional wife and mother. I don’t judge others, instead I hope to draw some kind of inspiration from them. I’ve been in trad wife groups and the women were always amazing. Pick what makes you happy and fulfilled.

[@Vic2point0]

Well said. My wife and I have lived this way for 16 years now (13 with a son) and we're both very glad we did.

[@jilldalier5396]

I value my homemaking skills and love taking care of my husband, animals, and those in our life. For my monetary work I sell real estate + do things like sell things I make.... vanilla extract/sugar, etc. My life balance is wonderful and it DEFINITELY focuses homemaking!!! As a woman I am inherently called to do so 🤗🙏🏡❤

[@RLL620]

I LOVE the fire that you brought to this video today. I too am a stay at home mom and NEVER have I regretted it!

[@monicapeloquin5316]

Thank you for sharing you heart on the matter. I do think that it is utterly ridiculous that homemakers are looked down on for making that choice while at the same time people make a lot of talk about the right to choose. Your videos have been a real encouragement to me in the season of life that I am in right now ❤

[@amandah3619]

Chose your regrets! And also the idea I just heard that Regret is your best guide! I LOVE this. It’s so simple.

[@sararae5685]

I am blessed to be a SAHM/homemaker but I was also a Full time working mom for 12 years. Being a Mom is hard work no matter your extra titles. There are pro and cons to both sides because that is life. Thank you for addressing this! We as a society need to do a better job of building each other up!

[@BethHarris-u3c]

I loved this! I always wanted to be a stay at home mom/ homemaker, inspired by my mother. I did work part time as a nurse when my kids were young and felt my nursing job was much easier than staying home. Home making and child rearing is a non stop, demanding vocation but so totally worth it! I enjoy all your videos but this one really touched me. Keep up the great content!

[@cat99manchor32]

Angela, the women I speak to count the hours when their shift is up so they can go home… they WANT to be home! I have a college degree and feel it is an elite privilege to be a homemaker. I have time now to raise horses and care for them by myself. I hated to be a “career woman” for so many years!

[@carrieann5714]

Not all women who work outside the home want to be home. Not every woman who stay home want to stay home. It’s all about respecting people’s choices and not passing judgement on them.

[@rubycasketcreations3445]

Stay at home mama of three for the last 6 1/2 years now. Home making is tough!! And for faaaar too long I felt terrible, stupid and guilty for “not doing enough” as I figured out what kind of home maker I wanted to be. It took the kind words, encouragement and wisdom of many others through watching interviews, conversations and having personal chit chats with others did I finally begin to learn that being a home maker was not only insanely valuable- but WAAAY more diverse in its appearance and flexible! It’s beautiful that we as people change over the years- as do our families and situations. And so the way our home making can evolve with us is very encouraging, uplifting and exciting. Thanks for the shoutout and pleasant reminder. ❤️ The fire was well applied- burned where it was necessary and kindled what it should have! 👏 👏 👏 Well stated, you beautiful woman, you!

[@karlyw.b.4125]

I was extremely career driven. My 1st being born changed my entire desire in life and I am now a happy homemaker and homeschool mom and though I have 20+ years of it left - I know the day it’s “done” will be a sad one. I

[@tinabennett8524]

Such a good video. My opinion concerning the shift back towards stay at home moms, is that the children of the 90’s grew up with both parents working, but with material things, and as they married, realized they valued time with their children over maternal things, and they made that choice🙂Fewer clothes, eating cheaper from scratch meals. Camping, and day trips instead of elaborate vacations. They chose to go with their values, not what was dictated by the majority of society. The information you have given concerning choosing what we value, dictating what our homemaking routine looks like is spot on! but I didn’t know that fro years, and I struggled with what “should be “ and what my life looked like. I adjusted made decisions, about quick meals, how much cleaning needed to be done. I was homeschooling, doing housework, had a garden, put up food. And we’ve always had livestock. We all have decisions to make, I wanted to sleigh ride with the children and have art projects as well as social works that we did together. My children are grown now but there was, and is so much judgment of the “right and wrong way” homeschooling, cooking, marriage. One values handwashed dishes, the other values story time with the children.

[@jessicastarkey8148]

Love these chatty videos Angela, love them all actually!!

[@robinbarrows3409]

YES! YES! A million times YES! I agree 100%! I remind people that just because I get paid in hugs and kisses does not make me less valuable. Thank you for expressing this!

[@Christen-G]

Appreciate you 😊 I have had a rich career outside my home, I have had periods of time my priority was managing my home, and I’m currently self employed … and still caring for my home. Through all of those periods I considered myself a homemaker (to varying degrees of success 😂). There is great satisfaction to be had in caring for home and family. It’s so wearing for *everything* to be so polarized. Let’s love that we have options!!

[@Seraphicallia]

AMEN AMEN AMEN. I had a touring broadway career before I got married and had kids, and staying home with my 4 babies and homeschooling and loving them and my husband is far more work and far more fulfilling than any career! Keep speaking the truth Angie 👍🏻

[@kaitlynshuler8128]

Love this. I just quit my job to be home with my baby girl and baby boy who’s on the way. It’s definitely gotten some mixed opinions, but I always wanted to be the one raising my babies. I feel privileged to have the opportunity to do so.

[@LuViS4eVer20]

I love love loved this from start to finish. The reason your message shifted is because someone needed to hear that just the way you said it. Thank you. Also the subtle shade was top tier lol and on point. Not everyone wants to be a "baddie" some of us enjoy a simpler life. Some of us dont want to be bosses in the socially accepted way that term is used. Being a homemaker IS work and alot of the time requires on the job training for positions that we werent even ready for haha. Love u love your content thank you for the message!

[@heidibee476]

Yes! Thank you for your honesty. I left a flourishing teaching career to homeschool my kids and while it has not been easy, it has been right. ❤❤❤

[@Mellemskov_acres]

I’ve been away from KZbin for a while and come back to see your shift in videos and I am loving it and feel so represented! 😂 Thank you!

[@KSAS1204]

Bringing the truth Angela!!!!!!!!!! Based!

[@brettelizabethspore]

“Clutch your pearls!” Laughed so hard. Solid message today. Really in a place of evaluating all this myself, so the release of this video was timely.

[@elkforests]

"Choose what to regret". I love that because it's so true. No matter what path your life takes, you will regret something (or at the very least wonder "what-if") so if you can use your compass to prioritize what matters most, you will live a life worth living.

[@monicamosack9604]

Thank you! I really needed to here about the reality of regrets. There are so many things to do that don’t fit into a day. At least acknowledging that making a choice means leaving something out, and that’s the way it is, gives me some peace of mind. It’s better to choose my regrets.

[@AllyScklr]

Omg and the pressure to homeachool!! "IF you don't homeschool, you are a sheep!" "Oh you send your kids to public school? You must not love your children", etc. And the pleasure and shame if you can't homeschool! Unfortunately, not all of us are the same and not all of us have the same equation...

[@PlantLover094]

I agree that being a homemaker is just as much work, if not more work, than an actual job. I was a stay at home mom for a year after my first child. However, the reason I get a little worried whenever I hear about a woman becoming a stay at home mom is because it’s so easy to get “trapped” that way. When you don’t have your own financial freedom, it makes it nearly impossible to leave the marriage. Men know this and I personally have witnessed at least one man manipulate a woman into being a stay at home mom and drop out of college and quit her job, then he got verbally abusive but she couldn’t leave because she had no way to support her child at that point. I know not all men are like that, it’s just something that I will forever be paranoid about after witnessing it firsthand. She’s still in this marriage years later.

[@jackelineyepez15]

Thank you so much for this! It really got me thinking because I want to have another baby and this time around. I’d like to plan things out and be a stay at home mom for the most part. I am a small business owner, but with careful planning and God’s blessing I can be a stay at home mom/wife. I do regret having to leave my son to be babysat when he was little but it’s what I had to do. Like you said we need to pick our regrets and I don’t want to have that regret again

[@Sarah-zj1ke]

I love the videos that you make. You've shown me a lot of domestic things that do not come naturally to me and that I didn't know how to do (cleaning, decluttering, financial stuff, etc..). I am the home maker/matriarch in my household. My mom is gone. She died of cancer when I was 19. I'm 32 now. I cared for my grandma up until she died at 91 in 2020. I help out with my father (he is getting older), my husband and profoundly autistic sister who is mentally 3 years old (even though she is 31). Simply thank you and keep being you.

[@familyofparsons5354]

I have so much respect for you right now, Angie. Thank you for using your platform to stand up for us fellow homemakers. ❤

[@delfinadelmar6726]

Thank you! This conversation NEEDED to be had.

[@grouchostarx531]

Most people think that homemaker=never leaves the house/live-in maid/etc. Homemaking is a legitimate skill that takes time and patience to acquire. And actually, it’s not just one skill-it’s a collection of a wide variety of skills that take a lot of time to learn! I have a lot of home making skills, but I never want to stop learning! As you said, I hope we never enter a situation or circumstance in which we need to utilize those skills for survival, but we are not fetishizing the past-we are simply recognizing that some things from back then were more practical/sustainable, and acknowledging how much thoughtfulness and conscientiousness went into everyday life. I’ve been a trad housewife, I’ve also had jobs (sometimes two jobs at once just for fun!), and right now I’m somewhere in between. I take care of the bulk of the cooking and cleaning, but you bet your bottom that my three children help me do these things. They help keep bathrooms clean, they help with laundry, yard work, etc. And now I would really like to go back to school and find a new path. But you can still be a homemaker and work/go to school/etc., which is the part that so many people ignore. As you said, it’s all about choosing what we can live with/choosing our regrets. For years I’ve chosen to be regretful of not pursuing a career, but I’m at the point that I don’t want that to be a regret anymore; and I’m confident that I can go to school and still make my home a home! ❤😊

[@lisettecampbell2138]

I really, really appreciate how you articulated this so well. I am an empty nester who lives in NYC and am contemplating on leaving a high pressure job, despite the cost of living here, to be more available in my marriage and support my mental health. The highlight of our regrets being ours, was spot on and food for thought. Thank you and God bless you!

[@brooke1318]

You saved me tonight! LOL Call me dramatic but your ability to cut through the crap and hone in on what's real is a MAJOR gift. Please keep it coming....I know it's probably less fun for you but my soul SO needed this thank you!!!!

[@LindaPagel-s1z]

Wow! For me this has been your most inspiring video yet. The bright and brave woman you are is right there! Choose your regrets, no matter what you choose, there will be sacrifices! You know that that’s something I have heard my business coach say? You are one intelligent woman! Loved this video!!! Linda, German woman living in Spain.

[@PaintWithWheat]

Spot on! I'm probably going too deep, but God instituted the family, it is the thing that gives civilization stability. Jesus went against his culture and showed the value of women. Anyone preaching against these or portraying some horrible caricature isn't playing for the home team, so to speak, and has an agenda for sure.

[@kelle30]

Amen 👍

[@kimberlygill8212]

God's plan is the perfect plan to true and eternal happiness. The family is a reflection of the perfection of the love of the Trinity. The woman is the heart of the family. Who could live without it!

[@skeinofadifferentcolor2090]

Women are saved when they accept their God-designed roles of being a wife and mother. Show me one career woman who isn't on meds because of the stress and anxiety from having to ignore her programming in her hunt for a career. She can't leave a legacy behind once she clocks off, but children leave a lasting legacy.

[@narrowpathfarm]

Amen

[@van2165]

@@skeinofadifferentcolor2090a lot of homemakers are on meds too babe that’s literally a trope it’s so common. We don’t need to put down others to life yourself up bc it’s not working for you

[@TheBuffmusic]

I love when people say homemakers don’t have real jobs and I wonder ok but then why do we have Nannies, house cleaners, drivers, delivery services, daycares, cooks/take out etc? Ahhhh, yes, because those things are jobs and people are paid for those services when they are needed… hmmmm but no, you’re right, I don’t work. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@marym.8234]

Hi I love your videos. I am now 62 and stayed home with my 3 kids till they were in middle school. I went to college at night and got my degree and went back to work full-time when I was 42. (I still work full-time!)Everyone has to do what works for them. I certainly do agree with you Home keeping and taking care of your children is so undervalued in our society and yet it is one of the most important things that we do. I would love to see home economics or a life skills class be brought back to the schools. It is so needed. Keep up the great work!

[@ebunni5862]

Great video!! You are so right in your points. It's heartbreaking to see women tear other women down because of personal life choices. I'd like to add that if you are getting a lot of negative input for choosing to be a homemaker ( or any other life choice ) it might be time to distance yourself from being online. In my personal life I see no one condemning homemakers or stay at home moms. When people find out that I sew some of my own clothes, that I make my own laundry detergent, that I can knit and crochet, they are quite often impressed! These are all self taught skills that I have; but to most people these are just as impressive if not more impressive that I'm an engineer. I don't say this to brag! I am terrible at many things as well. But it's to frame real life vs internet life. Just as you would give less weight to a co workers snide comment than your best friends loving opinion so should you also do with the internet.

[@mariebirdsall2523]

I So appreciate your honesty and your emotion in this conversation!! I have been a full time sahm for almost 9 years and I just tried working full time. I promptly realized I didn't care if I ever traveled the world or went on whatever vacation. I knew that a career outside my home wasn't worth it!!! I've got a degree and I was finally 'working in that field', even though homeschooling is using my education but I get the irreplaceable blessing of being with and educating my children 🎉😊❤. My grandmother's are either deceased or not able to do much now but they were both amazing homemakers in one way or another! I'm so grateful for their examples.

[@ingridadargiene3163]

Why everybody says that homemaking isn't a job, or at least a job without pay? A home maker gets her salary every day: she gets a roof above her head, gets food, gets cloths if her salary is only minimum. If she was wise enough to choose the wright husband and home to make, her salarys limit is the sky. At the end of a day everybodys job salary main purpose to be able to buy all these things , that homemaker gets instead of money in first place.

[@pattyhansen7563]

My husband calls my vehicle " the company car" .....🤣

[@denisemackrell8988]

Thank you for making this video, it’s how I feel at the moment too. It took me a long long time to be ok with staying at home with my kids and not earning my own money and relying on my hubby for money. We have come up with our way of living by sharing things like doing a budget witch Im better at doing, he show me how to cook something and to do preserves, he is great at, work together to make our life the way we want. My hubby says I’m a “minister of homeland affairs” instead of house wife or stay at home parent, he even put it on forms. I do much more then look after the kids, I still do the thing I love teaching my kids to cook, sew, grow food and build things from chicken coops to repair the things we have. I took all my skills for granted and didn’t think they gave me any value in life, but I was so wrong and I’m so proud of myself and teach these skills to my kids. I’m showing my kids/teens they can do what they love and make money from it, instead of going straight into a job that everyone expect them to do, there is many ways to live your life and it can look very different for everyone else and it’s ok.

[@suelayman1371]

Loved your intro!!! Speak often and louder, we need it now more than ever before. Losing the family so fast.

[@ReturnToSenderz]

I appreciate the nuance to your video, acknowledging the different situations and priorities of other people. Too often, discussions on the internet devolve into binary “hot takes,” but you do a good job of keeping things to-the-point and respectful even while being passionate. That’s not an easy needle to thread.

[@CS-ly3lx]

So much wisdom and eloquence, insight, understanding, and encouragement. Thank you.

[@jomar9024]

Over 24 years ago I made the choice to stay home. At the end of the day, financially it made no sense for me to work when I deducted out all the expenses associated with my workinh & the trade-offs. We were financially better off my staying home and joyfully taking care of my family. To this day yes it did hurt me on some aspects but I do not regret it