Am I Making It All Up?? | Kati Morton

There is always a reason for how we feel, we just tend to stuff things down and smaller, less significant issues can bring up a larger emotional response. Also, we often don’t even know what we are feeling because we aren’t tracking it or noticing it when it comes up. We often just ignore how we feel, stuff it down and tell ourselves we are wrong for feeling it. So invalidating!
You can’t compare your experience and struggles to anyone else. We all have our own level of resiliency, ability to compartmentalize, and everyone experiences situations differently. Even between siblings! My brother and I are always arguing about a certain memory we both have, and his view is SO different from mine...
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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[@_just_TK]

“Of course it is all in your head, Harry, but why on earth does that mean it isn’t real?” -Dumbledore

[@Katimorton]

Best quote ever! xoxo

[@MugsyMakes]

Awesome!

[@gregmccarty8476]

JK Rowling just said the Dumbledore was a therapist before he became a wizard.

[@6Synn6]

TK read another book

[@_just_TK]

Alejandro Herrera do you mean QUOTE another book? Cause I read a fuck ton books in my free time but I’ll always be a total PotterHead!

[@LowKey_B]

“ SOMEONE👏ELSE’S👏EXPERIENCE👏DOESN’T👏NEGATE👏HOW👏YOU👏FEEL👏 “

[@brioche8123]

Media Content some people use it to emphasize too. You can really use it however you want

[@madisonchapman108]

@@Bingewatchingmediacontent Who cares if people stopped doing it a while ago, if they want to do it then let them it's really not any of your concern. If it's obnoxious to you then just scroll past it, it's as simple as that.

[@Smashachu]

It's true on so many levels, just because our feelings are imposing on our spouse doesn't mean we should feel guilty for voicing them.

[@kathrinjohnson2582]

"Well other kids are starving" SHUT UP! You are awesome Katie !👏👏👏

[@genevievehoskins6829]

Even people who are going through trauma and stuff ask "Am I making this up?" or "Do I have a right to feel this about this" or "It wasn't THAT bad" so the questioner is definitely not alone.

[@katiestocks2361]

I feel this

[@catt8589]

This is me... and I just feel like I’m faking everything for attention yet I tell no one about it cuz I don’t wanna bother them with my problems

[@brianna6694]

Me

[@PaintbrushBristles]

I wish I had someone like you when my parents constantly told me "other people have it worse" or "everyone feels this way at times." I was never allowed to have or express certain feelings because then I would get in trouble for being ungrateful.

[@invisible_killjoy6812]

PurpleNovels I relate to that so much

[@melinamartins4419]

It always happened to me a lot too. It sucks a lot, I feel sorry for you and hope you're okay ;)

[@gameknight9519]

It’s happening to me right now.

[@Ch50304]

This happened to me too.

[@s.sumbrella7616]

YES

[@skyetan86]

I do this a lot to myself, telling myself other people have it worse and I don't really deserve to say what I feel. Thank you for reminding me that emotional abuse is valid too. I often struggle with that. I really appreciate what you do.

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! So glad I could be a helpful resource :) xoxo

[@Maya-pk4mt]

I’m trying figure out right now if I have a mental illness and sometimes I’m like “oh my god I have anxiety I need to go to a therapist” and then sometimes I’m like could I just be making this up to get attention and thinking about that gives me more anxiety (Sorry I’m bad at explaining how I feel😂)

[@bluepotato1371]

I feel the same way! I hear people's stories and they're so much worse than mine, I feel guilty for putting myself on the same boat ( toxic parent, anxiety, etc)

[@youarereadingmycomment1609]

@@bluepotato1371 I really hope you see this comment, because I desperately need it. For a few months now I have been having problems with self-harming and suicidal thoughts, and I still feel like my problems are not serious enough

[@SomeoneYouKnow123]

@@youarereadingmycomment1609 i suggest u to get help asap

[@_just_TK]

AM I MAKING IT ALL UP? {My Brain Everyday}: “Yes, yes you are” 😫😫

[@Katimorton]

I know... ugh so annoying!!! xoxo

[@SpinBikerRepair]

lol

[@ryantrue4844]

I have had the thought of "what If I'm imagining it? What if none of these thoughts and feelings are real? Or what if I'm just making it seem a lot worse than it actually is?" A lot over the past several years

[@zl2240]

Yeah, I feel the same

[@acexx_vanity]

Same i don't know

[@SweetTooth1104]

same ;w;

[@catmeowi1030]

I FEEL LIKE THAT BUT WITH BEING TRANSGENDER AHHH

[@spooktyrone9337]

Its hard, its like you dont wanna be making up feelings that other people go through and sometimes its hard to tell if your feelings are real. But its best to get help it doesnt matter if you being dramatic or not. I made the mistake of telling myself i was just being dramatic for 2 years, for the past 2 years Ive felt exausted and have hallucinations daily, nothing feels real its like a dream. But I put it off for the longest time and that was a huge mistake. If something doesnt feel right dont put it off.

[@misse7154]

Never underestimate the power of gaslighting. You can be abused without realizing it, your reality is denied, and if nobody else validates it, it's easy to just accept what was done as "acceptable". This is why I think working with a therapist to get a third party perspective and possibly point out places where you experienced potential trauma is very helpful. I'm not suggesting that this particular questioner necessarily experienced trauma, but it's always a possibility.

[@juliab.75]

Miss E yeah I agreee

[@_maia_m]

I agree! I thought like the questioner for a long time, ever since I started to get depressed when I was about 14-15, thinking I had no reason to be depressed, so I was just weak and a drama queen. It wasn't until my late twenties that I started to see that I had been abused both at home and by my first boyfriend. But all that self hate had just trampled me down, refusing me to listen to my feelings.

[@savanahdesrocher6021]

Trauma is different for everyone.....

[@skoobydoofus5997]

"Shut up. That isn't helpful." Thank you for that. Thank you so much for that little bit of validation. :)

[@catastropheyuh2609]

Okay....?

[@valzugg]

Yeah, that felt really nice for me too

[@neluthecurious8389]

Even African kids (Me!) get told "there are kids starving in the village" and stuff 😂😂😂😂

[@CandyThePuppy]

Oh wow! 😂

[@sunnie-chan502]

THIS!!!!

[@fuzzyecheveriaharmsii]

That is realy nice to hear. It is like someone else suffering doesn't make your suffering any less or go away

[@EMunaBee]

"He said it's all in your head, I said so's everything, but he didn't get it..." -Fiona Apple, Paper Bag

[@samwallaceart288]

Love that song; every line is so friggin’ clever it hurts.

[@griffin1837]

to anyone who needs to hear this: i believe you. your feelings are valid. your feelings matter to me. you are not making it up. it is not all in your head. i see you. i hear you. i love you.

[@Jen_TheSnail]

Thank you so much!🥺💖

[@alechennings4774]

[@belynw4457]

Thank you, kind stranger, for being nicer than my own family

[@zevonderwaffle5254]

Thank you

[@O1iviaWard]

That actially helped me feel better. Thank you

[@PRoseLegendary]

I have CPTSD so noticing my feelings/ignoring my feelings/being overwhelmed by my feelings is a huge challenge. What's really been helping me is Emotional Freedom Technique, which involves naming whatever the feeling is, and accepting that it's okay to feel that by repeating a phrase while tapping acupressure points. Eg "Even though I'm feeling anxious, I deeply and completely accept myself". It's been really helpful to me.

[@Katimorton]

Thank you so so much for sharing what helps you!!! You never know who may need to hear this :) xoxo

[@PRoseLegendary]

Thanks Kati, I've tried lots of different grounding techniques to deal with anxiety or emotional flashbacks or overwhelming feelings but Tapping or EFT just seems to have the most instant effect, helping me end the flooding sensation in my brain within a minute or so of doing it. Whereas in the past I've tried noticing my surroundings, my senses, and that just doesn't work fast enough so I'd resort to self harm to ground myself. I think because EFT combines a physical sensation (tapping) with acknowledging my feelings, it really helps plug my brain back into gear. I do sometimes look a bit strange sitting in a parked car tapping myself though lol

[@PRoseLegendary]

I haven't tried EMDR and I've never heard of brainspotting. But EFT you can do anywhere, anytime, at home, on the train (though you'll look like you're stimming). It's so easy

[@PatrickAllenNL]

Every adult should see this. Not common knowledge

[@Katimorton]

Agreed. xoxo

[@okay6470]

I struggle with this all the time!! I’m so glad to see videos that are about exactly what I’ve been wondering about. I know I’m not alone, and that’s very comforting.

[@Katimorton]

I am so glad this was helpful and comforting :) xxoxo

[@marisaswanson2061]

i love love love these style videos!!!! i’m so happy you’re bringing it back❤️❤️

[@Katimorton]

Awe yay!! xoxo

[@raywood8187]

Me too but I still miss the butterfly tree.

[@marisaswanson2061]

Ray Wood me too

[@benjibluebird]

I have D.I.D. and in one of the psychiatric units I was in as an adolescent (before I was officially diagnosed), the therapist kept telling me I was lying about having it. She would insinuate that my trauma wasn't severe enough to warrant the condition and she convinced my parents that I had Munchausen syndrome. I was so vulnerable and so afraid of my own mind at that point that it traumatized me and as a consequence made me switch MORE. Its taken so long to overcome the overwhelming invalidation and convince my own parents that I'm not making it all up. Some people should NOT be in the mental health field.

[@benjibluebird]

She also said I was switching a lot because "I liked the attention it gave me." As a consequence, we're really good at being stealth lol.

[@cyantile5490]

"someone else's experience doesn't negate how you feel" That is very true, but it limits kinda who you can talk to about your own issues, at least in my perspective. It's like when I hear someone give their story and then when it's my turn I always imagine they would think "I got abused and used... And you.. Got dumped" or something like that, so I just stay silent

[@edenmilner1210]

"There are children starving in Africa" when you said this i saw so many times people have said this. You are so right

[@MissMymooReads]

Omg whenever I'm trying to express my feelings due to my current situation in life (which is not very good, I'm struggling a lot to keep it together everyday), my parents always shush me out and brush it all off by saying "there are many people who are also in tough situations, you are not the only one", meaning I have to stop complaining and expressing the fact that I do not feel okay AT ALL. You saying in your video "shut up", that's exactly what I would love to be able to say to them... I feel that they force me to repress those emotions that I have and that's making things worse. The reality being that I have no one else to talk to. I don't think I even have true friends who would listen to me. Anyway, thank you for this video Kati. I wish you could be here to tell them to shut up everytime they say those things to me.

[@kennethlang1544]

Myriam, hang in there. You are not alone. They wouldn't listen anyway. Live through this and get away as fast as you can! ❤

[@willneverforgets3341]

I think our feelings are not "made up", nor random, they are often learned, they come from childhood sometimes, from learned and conditioned responses from the past. Often these responses are no longer doing us good but we carry them doing them automatically.

[@tamarajessup1398]

The wonderful, and terrible, thing about our brain is that it is able to respond to our experiences and emotions by rewiring itself. We can focus on negative memories and the feelings they evoke and make accessing those feelings easier for our brains or we can feel good about having learned from our past, work through and let go of parts of it that weren't so great, and have a better life going forward, because we have trained and changed our brain! How awesome is THAT?

[@ledelmydelreal9918]

“Unseen wounds are still painful.” Fucking Facts ! Abuse is abuse...

[@somethingyousaid5059]

Wow, your video was jam packed with insights that I didn't already have. Wow, that was great!

[@Katimorton]

Awe good! I am so glad it was helpful :) xox

[@jeremyduer3098]

Ugh, I so hate it when people say how others have it so much worse, so like I have no right to feel how I’m feeling? Pisses me off and is so invalidating. As you said, everyone is different, everyone has a different level of resilience, experiences etc. Comparing your experiences to others is really impossible, as each of us are one of a kind and no one else can tell us how we can and can’t feel etc.

[@rebeccalong3638]

I think this is very important for everyone in every situation. I left an abusive relationship and usually compare my experience to others. I sometimes minimize my own story because it may not have been as bad as someone else's. This helped me tremendously today. Thank you for what you do.

[@beththedarkmage3359]

An abusive relationship is horrible regardless, you shouldn't feel the need to compare. If someone else went through something similar, instead focus on what you can relate to and bond over it! :)

[@bojidarabatanova4312]

Oh my god. I've been asking myself this exact question for quite awhile. I'm pretty sure I really have depression, I've taken so many tests, done my research, talked to people who actually have it and can speak from experience. I know it's normal for teenagers to sometimes be tired, stressed or moody, but I know it's not normal for a 15-year-old to be so stressed to the point of having mental breakdowns a few times a week, to feel so overwhelmed that they can't function properly and do their tasks, self-harm and have suicidal thoughts. However, I doubt the seriousness of my situation and believe I'm making it all up. My family recently discovered my grandpa has lung cancer and I feel like my problem doesn't deserve attention or it's not that big of a deal at all. That's the reason I'm not going to say anything about it to anyone; I've been keeping this a secret for about 2 years now.

[@sixtysix2632]

Absolutely true. I hate that saying oh, they are people whos worse than you. Like I told a friend in the moment I can only think of myself. So, what I don't have a right to experience what I am going through.

[@alliethibodeaux6335]

I struggle with this all the time. And I know people who have had very different childhoods than me and I think it just makes me belittle the things that happened to me. If that makes sense, like oh they went through something like that I can’t imagine that what I went through couldn’t have been THAT bad. But either way what I went though happened and it happened to me and I’ve spent a lot of my life shoving it down and just trying to ignore it because it happened nothing is gonna change it now. I just hope I can get to a point where I can start seeing a therapist and unpack my feelings instead of shoving them away. Videos like these always make me feel just a little bit better.

[@jovanjankovic]

Basicly my situation right now. It is really sad that I make these probems secret but that's because I dunno anybody around me who will hear me, I would like to go to therapist because I know he/she will listen to me, who will understand why I think of this every day. Thanks for comment :)

[@elzanievorster3351]

Thank you Kati⭐I just explained to my friend how important it is to aknowledge our emotions and this helped a lot. Also thank you for reminding us that comparison is a thief. Oh and I love the wave analogy

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! I am so glad you are talking about this with your friend, and I happy I can be a helpful resource :) xoxo

[@katieb8752]

I often don’t like acknowledging how I feel.

[@liveyerrlifex26]

This is a video everyone needs to see. I am a mental health counseling grad student and i wish i could show everyone this video. Self awareness is soooooo important!

[@Jessica-Jasmine-Green]

This is the perfect explanation of overreacting: you are overreacting to that situation, but you aren't overreacting to you experience.

[@ciaramcalary]

i can’t explain how helpful this is... because i constantly find myself comparing my issues to others and also tell myself that i don’t deserve to feel sad and alone because i’ve got everything i could ever want or need so thank you 🥰

[@benb7727]

Interesting. I’m more aware of how my moods affect others than how they affect me.

[@OllieViklund]

Oh my god that's it that's the most relatable thing I've ever read

[@portiajanes2064]

Since 8am this morning to now 10:38 -lonely -angry -frustrated -guilty -sad -scared It’s been like this for about two weeks I don’t understand

[@Strawberryfreak]

Thats 6 emotions! Hope u Will be ok

[@mimiduncan4507]

Thank you so much for this video. I really needed that this week!

[@natashamudford4011]

I had to find a list of feelings online to help me label my feelings. The list I really like was categorized by How I Feel When My Needs Are (and Are Not) Being Met.

[@alisonhilaire4170]

I feel like lack of self confidence and this overrated idea that "we must be tough/strong" prevent us from acknowledging and validating our own feelings, which in the end, dehumanize us.

[@Katimorton]

Totally agree!!! Thank you for mentioning this :) xoxo

[@griffin1837]

totally

[@nicolablackmore7937]

Thank you Katie .. this is really helpful to be reminded of 👍

[@Sleepyembers]

So validating, helpful and somehow refreshing. Thanks Kati!

[@raywood8187]

It's even harder to identify emotions when they're being suppressed and blurred by antidepressants and anti anxiety meds.

[@LeNoir2411]

great.. i can't identify em even without medications and I'm going to start taking meds again .. it's gonna be confusingly empty again..

[@corneliatjandra4500]

Thank you so much. I really needed this today. I've been struggling with this question for a long time

[@kaitlincarr2990]

Thank you for this video! Thought-provoking and relatable for a lot of people. 💕

[@stephaniecalonge]

I love that you’re speaking about this! I’ve experienced all of it. From comparing myself to others and even seeing others compare themselves to me. It’s so unhealthy and digs a deep hole. I know many people reason with themselves to not see a therapist because “it’s not that bad” or they “can handle it” but why put a scale on our problems? It can be small and still deserve your attention and healing.

[@brilynn930]

Thank you for this video Kati. Needed this today really really bad.

[@ihatebert]

this opened my eyes, i really needed this today thank you

[@curiousone6435]

Kati, I just love ya! Thanks for being there for so many of us.

[@Bekins88]

My life so far has had a great number of difficulties, and some of those are ones I chose. I've had friends tell me that they feel bad for complaining when I'm going through something that is worse. I've made it a point to full stop and explain that there is no worse or better "in having a hard time". A hard time is a hard time. Whether you are about to lose your house, struggling at work, experiencing heartbreak, etc. When something is hard, it's difficult to deal with no matter what someone else is going through. Your experiences are 100% valid in your life,and cannot be diluted by someone else's experience of "hard".

[@christienbbrooks7334]

Awesome video !! Thank you !

[@simoneleila5037]

Thanks soo much Kati !!! You are very helpful and I compare myself all the time !! I’m working on myself

[@melodymesiti3473]

Amazing and sooooooooo helpful!!! THANK YOU💙💙💙

[@juibelly2318]

Oh yes I needed this video !

[@caitparker1603]

I'm so glad this topic was addressed,this is something recently I was convinced sometimes I'm making how severe something is up 💚💚 drives me crazy

[@Darknight3701_]

OMG That passage seemed like someone read my mind and typed out what I have been struggling to put into words.

[@smashallrecords]

This was gold - Thank you!

[@Ingridlosneslokken]

Thank you Kati! This is exactly what I needed right now ❤️

[@megangriffith9902]

I swear, the original commenter could have been me. I've been asking myself "Am I just making this up?" as long as I can remember...it's actually become more of a problem than the actual problematic feelings that I started out with. This whole video was so incredibly helpful and validating, thank you so much for making it

[@SamanthaGorman1022]

Loved this video so much!! So validating❤️

[@bill4632]

Thank you... I needed to hear this.

[@Andrewmarkbaker]

Very validating. Thank you

[@isana_smh]

I really needed this video today. Thank you for your perfect timing

[@Lfppfs]

Thank you so much for this video, Kati, it is really helpful for me to hear these words. Keep up the good work!

[@moi_kanal]

Oh my God! Thank you Kati, this video is much needed.

[@notme-fy7xe]

I’m so glad you’re on KZbin. Your videos really help me

[@jaqueleenbenjamin7224]

im glad this style is back , great video Kati perfect timing 💛

[@parapandawheelie]

I just recently found your channel after looking up "Dissociation" and you're instantly one of my favorite channels. I suffer from Anxiety and what I believe is depression. I havent booked a therapist session because of fear. but I may do that now :)

[@_just_TK]

Tom Peszynski Welcome to the Community!

[@parapandawheelie]

@@_just_TK thank you :)

[@_just_TK]

Tom Peszynski can I tweet ur comment @ Kati on Twitter?

[@parapandawheelie]

@TK please do and you can have her tag me @wormbowler123 if you can...

[@parapandawheelie]

@TK just saw your post on twitter. Thank you so much.

[@eliza8437]

Kati thank you so much! I've been struggling with all of these feelings and you finally put it into words and gave me a solution. I'm excited to try some of these techniques and thought patterns

[@squishy7509]

Very helpful, thank you thank you ❤️

[@valzugg]

We need more of these reminders! It's too easy to forget this, especially when a lot of people say things that contradict this, like with the examples you gave. Thank you for this video!

[@integrityvending3432]

So good. Thank you.

[@laurenc9214]

Exactly what I needed to see! Love these videos. My feelings were never validated growing up and I always felt “guilty” for them and still do. Thank you for explaining and helping to get to the root of the cause❤️

[@oinkersboinkers7188]

Thank you so much! I really needed this today

[@Muirmaiden]

Thank you so much for this video! So enlightening and empowering. We should always acknowledge that trauma and abuse is NOT a competition and that you do have a right to your feelings. I do think it is good to know that you are not alone in what you experienced, and that is not wrong to acknowledge your feelings, but be proud of yourself and what you have accomplished in your own right.

[@skyegraham6953]

Thankyou so much Kati for making your videos. They have helped me so much.

[@dayzm6708]

Geez this video is so helpful.. I can't put it in words THANK YOU

[@sarinalight7422]

I spill my pain & it’s destroying me, & my new friendships. So Sad Today. Thank you Kati💛

[@that_girl555]

My favorite so far! This really spoke to me. Ty Katie!

[@KWatsonMUSIC]

Kati, you are just the best. Thank you always.

[@mariahvankleef9451]

Wow this is really deep, I love this!! Thank you!!

[@Nowhere9]

That’s really helpful, thank you !

[@storytellerhut3488]

I think this is such a key point in mental health! Wow! I am gonna watch this one over and over. I really struggle with validating my own thoughts and feelings. Thank you for doing this video!

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

The ending was beautiful, black screen and only the music... Helps also FEEL the words by sinking in. Especially those of us who had a lot of adversity until early adulthood when managed to finally escape the hell, never to look back.

[@maryoary3195]

Your videos always come just as I need them💜💜

[@mynamesamyd988]

wow you did it again ! you know when i need things, i swear you can read everyones mind !!

[@Katimorton]

Awe yay!! xoxo

[@lisaalexander2011]

One of my favorite videos so far!

[@irop.7663]

thank you! always your videos aprouch so inportan matters with such a grace!

[@rebeccaking4470]

I think is my favorite video you’ve done so far!

[@janmots2829]

Ty for this video. It has really helped me put things into perspective.

[@ziggywarszawa1397]

Thanks for making this, I really needed to hear that

[@zairac2740]

Thank you so much for this video ❤️

[@nathanielthorne]

Best video yet! home run after home run on this one! thank you!

[@aimeegoebel1641]

Wow. This was so so good! I didn’t want it to end! So thankful for your videos.

[@mikaylascully303]

I love this style of videos!! Love you and your content! 💕

[@Katimorton]

Awe yay!!! xoxo

[@sierrastanworth360]

OH.MY.GOSH!!! Thank you sooo much for this video kati❣️❣️❣️. You basically read my mind. I soaked up this whole video! It was so helpful!

[@avidian888]

Wow this was really helpful and packed with the right thoughts. Thanks a lot!

[@feminaajayi-hackworth5231]

I really appreciate this video. I keep asking myself the same thing.

[@jessicabarrientos5802]

I looove the wave analogy! It’s so helpful because I need to remember that it will pass. I need to ride it out and maybe I can’t handle the emotion at the intensity in that moment but I know I can ride it out. That phrase is so important to me!

[@wildflowerwhispersstudio6]

very helpful, and a good reminder

[@Carys.Jonesssx]

I love these type of videos☺️🙌🏻