AM I POLYAM?

[@Lady_McSassy]

You’re adorable. Be honest, be safe, be happy. I think you’re pretty terrific (am old enough to be your mom). Glad there are young people like you out there, with such a good heart and great spirit.

[@Anilyan13]

Have you heard about queerplatonic/quasiplatonic relationships? Normally they are for aromantic people, but not exclusively, and the way you described your relationship with your friends sounds a lot like that kind of relationship. The "partners" are usually called zuchinnis

[@jayflight5351]

I like how calmly and systematically you explore yourself

[@BlaiddGoch]

A cluster sounds really comforting, like a pile of kittens.

[@lilithmaxion6127]

This is my favourite video of yours! And I think I have seen pretty much all of them. But I deeply connect to the kind of love you feel. It makes me so happy to hear that there are other people who have so much love inside them, to love so many people at once! Love is not like a cake that can be eaten up, it's not a thing that gets smaller, when you give some of it away, it rather grows.

[@fliss5152]

YOUR HAIR IS SO GORGEOUS- I relate to this a lot, dunno if I'm going through a ho phase or if I genuinely do love multiple people

[@nononagy6181]

Damien Jones Same 😂

[@AidaExplorer]

Nothing you feel is weird, it's absolutely natural and it's very empowering to actually explore about it and experiment to better understand yourself. That's what life is about, exploring, understanding, learning and becoming a better version of yourself.

[@markjones5807]

You're so intelligent, deep, and analytical. You truly are my favorite philosopher!

[@elliottwheeler5]

the original crowd of my friendship group felt very inclusive and equal and loving in the same way - a lot of us have since gone in different directions, but most of us still get together every once in a while and it's very nice.

[@krisc.1534]

First of all, I’m gonna cry. Second, i relate so much to the part where you said you have so much love all the time.

[@johanna458]

This video is so helpful! I have never really thought about that there could be some love which is different from love to a partner and love to friends or family. But what you said about you're cluster describes in many points what I feel for one specific friend of mine.

[@alanf6516]

Dude, just yes, thank you SOOOOOO much for making this video, because I'm the same way with a handful of my friends! I am also soooo effen happy that you explained this in such a coherent way because there are a few people who I need to show this to so they can get how some of my "relationships," for lack of a better term, work. *hugs* You're the best Jake, keep rocken' on!!

[@DidemMilchbubii]

You look sooo soooo soooo handsome!

[@corawalker2909]

I wish I had such a close group of friends. It's so great that you feel so supported 💜

[@gagandeep7661]

Live free with a pure soul don't think what you are and what it matters to others God bless you

[@annabellekean2712]

thank you for sharing!! i realized around november last year that i was polyam and ever since i’ve discovered more about it and myself. for me, being polyamorous is having the ability to love multiple partners or people in a way that’s different from family or just friends. for me, it can be romantic and sexual or romantic and asexual or just a very close relationship. obviously all parties involved must be aware of the relationships and consent. but there’s so much controversy with this, especially if you’re also bisexual, which i am. it’s fantastic that you’re sharing this exploration and i hope you find lots of love ❤️

[@isabelagusmao6504]

I kinda relate to this? I don't have a cluster but oh boy I wish I did. Except I don't see it as "more than friendship", for me what you're describing fits very well into my idea of what /real/ friendship should be. Does that make sense?

[@patscathouse]

I have a boyfriend, but I get that feeling as well especially since my closer friends are the ones I can be really vulnerable with and they know I'm always down to cuddle. It's amazing.

[@faeriefangs5370]

Its scary how alike we are. This is something I think about so much.

[@jessmahan2527]

Hi Jake! I'm poly and I totally feel this!! I have one primary partner, but to me polyamory is all about embracing affection rather than approaching affection with fear. It means that I can fully live my crushes, sensuality, intimacy and different kinds of love in different relationships :)

[@GotAnnoyedAtURL]

Love the background, set up, lighting, editing in this video!

[@lochnessmonster6862]

I was trying to explain almost the exact same things you just talked about to a friend last week (on multiple occasions), but I didn't fully know how to explain or what I was explaining until I watched your video so thanks for that!

[@TheSharpieGod]

have you ever heard of the term "queerplatonic"? how you describe your cluster sounds queerplatonic to me.

[@mikelmontoya2965]

Jack DM agreed

[@mikelmontoya2965]

Jack DM I provided a link to the definition of queerplatonic relationships in another comment, hopefully he'll see it and find if he relates to the term

[@seth5229]

I was thinking the exact thing

[@sunnysea24]

"Quasiplatonic" is a good alternative to avoid using the word "queer" for non-queer friendships (or for LGBT people uncomfortable with the word).

[@Sophie.L.H]

Relatable! I’m a very affectionate person and I feel like I’m more affectionate or want to be more affectionate with my friends than other people do with their friends. I’d have no issue giving my friends a peck on the lips to say hello or goodbye, I’d have no problem with cuddling up to them or spooning them at sleepovers etc, it’s all so harmless to me. I have questioned whether I could be polyamorous as well and in all honesty I’m not sure, it’s something I’d have to try in order to know for sure but at I’m also not that fussed about finding out if that makes sense? I love being monogamous and I don’t feel like I need more than one romantic relationship necessarily but I have soooo much love to give that it wouldn’t surprise me if I happened to fall for more than one person at the same time

[@mikelmontoya2965]

riotSoph hey! There is a term that maybe helps you. It's queerplatonic relationships. "A queerplatonic relationship (or "QPR") is one which is more intense and intimate than what most people regard as a friendship, not fitting the traditional romantic couple model or the traditional bounds of friendship. In some situations the people involved can show physical affection such as cheek kisses, pecks on the lips, holding hands, sitting on each other's lap, seeing each other naked, cuddling and sleeping together (not euphemistically). To QPPs, these activities are not necessarily romantic nor sexual/erotic." aromantic.wikia.com/wiki/Queerplatonic The term for a queerplatonic partner is zucchini, and the term for a queerplatonic crush is squish. Example: "I had such a squish on John!! I wanted to hung out with them and hug and cuddle them all the time. Turns out they had a squish on me too and now they are my zucchini!!" All of this was originally coined by the aromantic community, because a lot of aromantic people realized they had really intense feelings of affection to some of their friends which felt beyond the traditional definition of a platonic relationship but still wasn't romantic, but it's in no way limited to aromantic people, people of any romantic orientation can feel this way.

[@toe300]

I think im actually in love with Jake Edwards

[@abcdefghjklmo]

You just seem very touchy feely and loving with your friends. Your cluster could be seen as your platonic soulmates because of how close you are to each other.

[@thegabrielhyde]

As an aromantic person, the way you talk about your friends sounds very much like what I have with my partners. (A really useful term for me has been 'queerplatonic', meaning a feeling or relationship that's friendship-like, but more intense than being 'just friends'.) I think of the people I care about as a 'cluster' as well, and I definitely use polyamory-type ideas to think about those relationships (including when some of the relevant people have monogamous romantic partners, which can become tricky). I totally relate to everything you talk about here.

[@Apollo-xj9wj]

I really relate to this, ive been questioning a lot of the same sorts of things

[@Alex-ge5nz]

“FUCK THAT STEREOTYPE” -Jake Edwards 2018

[@Rachaellyonss]

I thought I was the only one who felt this way towards my friends. I love my friends sooo much and I do the same things (cuddle, hold hands etc.) and I even get jealous when they hang out with someone else or date somebody else, yet I don’t want to date them. And not jealous in the same way as with other people it’s just different lol. I’m just glad I’m not the only one😂

[@andrewboden4500]

“My cluster” I do love me some sense 8 references. I’m going be sad if that’s not actually what it originates from 😢

[@OllieSkinnervideos]

You're not Polly, you're Jake!

[@souleaterevans4589]

What you described actually reminded me a lot of something I read in the comments of a polyamory post on Facebook today. If anyone's curious, it was a post about Flourite (a cartoon rep for polyamory between 6) from Steven Universe posted by feministrevolution, I think. The person described their type of polyamory as "relationship anarchy," and to them that meant that the traditional relationship tower (dating, sex, marriage, shared home, children, etc.) is seen as a set of building blocks that can be used for any type of relationship. Relationships can consist of straight and asexual friends sharing a home, a married couple raising a child from one person's other polyam partner, and so on. I sort of paraphrased a bit, but that's the idea they got across and I really gelled with it. People can be friends or dating for a variety of reasons and everyone has their own wants and needs. It's important in any relationship to be mindful of that, and for the most part it's not something friends need to talk about, but it *should* be. I don't know what I'd do without friends to talk with and who are okay with openly showing how much they care. I don't think people understand how *great* it feels to have your friend hug you like they mean it, tell you that they love you, and not care how others perceive it. Defining a relationship to a T immediately is so arbitrary and old-fashioned, plus you always learn new things so why box yourself in?

[@adris432]

I once had a friendship like that with a friend, and initially I was quite confused as to what I was feeling...it definitely wasn't anything sexual but we were quite close physically sometimes (hugs, holding hands, sometimes even kissing) It was "more" than what is usually considered normal for a mere friendship. I stopped thinking about it and about a year later I somehow ended up watching a lot of Korean dramas and stuff...and I discovered what skinship meant. :D I was like - oh, that's it! The way some of the guys were affectionate towards each other would probably be questioned as to if they were in a romantic relationship in Europe / US but was totally acceptable for a friendship in South Korea. Seeing a different culture helped me understand what I was feeling and it helped me to see it as what it was, as an affectionate friendship. :)

[@johnlacosta6843]

I love the thought and consideration you can give to the nuances of your emotions ♥️

[@kaijakob5419]

I understand this completely, especially with partners being comfortable with my relationships with my friends. We are pretty much 'relationship-like' close. We are more than friends but not 'together' and my last two partners didn't quite get that

[@jackalopecore]

this is eerily similar to my relationship with being polyam honestly like i've been on and off identifying as polyam for a little over a year and it kept flip-flopping because i wasn't sure if the love i felt for my close friends (more than friends but slightly less than a romantic/sexual partner) was considered to be a legitimate form of a relationship or not but now i'm pretty sure that it is, it's just much different from the majority's definition of a relationship and that's totally okay.

[@LittleChaoticMonsta]

I love that sticker on your phone!

[@rosie94877]

my first polyam experience was a wild ride (aka a hot mess) where i was casually seeing a guy and a girl who were casually seeing each other - but generally in the context of being with me. we had a cute triad for a while but it was a big old mess when the guy and i got into a fight. however, being in a cluster/triad/group makes me feel a lot more secure in my relationships (which i am aware may sound odd to monogamous people); i feel a lot more loved and safe.

[@nearthe2nd]

I'm polyamorous myself, it's really cool to hear about your experience. It's very important to me that more people acknowledge polyamorous and non-monoamorous identities for representation sake. Polyamory was actually coined this month, so this is essentially non-monoamory's month for awareness. Polyamory isn't inherently about sexual or romantic attraction, many people on the ace/aro spectrum identify as polyamorous. They may view it in an quasi/queerplatonic manner, where it isn't completely platonic, or completely sexual/romantic, something more fluid but it wouldn't be completely accurate to label the relationship you have as just platonic because there's a certain layer of intimacy and connection there. I know a term that might help you out Jake, you should look into the identity term Sensualarian and see if that fits you personally, or friends in your cluster, relationship with them. For some people Sensualarian could act as an identifier for someone who isn't completely polyamorous or completely monoamorous. "Sensualarian: Someone who 'blurs' the lines between romantic, platonic, sensual, and sexual relationships. There is no 'clear, cut' distinguishing mark between the variety of types of attraction. For example: You might have a 'girlfriend' by traditional standards, but you feel that they provide more than just a romantic partnership, or the relationship isn't exactly romantic or platonic, but quasiplatonic and sensual. This could be ideal for individuals who feel that they have the emotional capacity to love numerous individuals at once, but don’t feel 'polyamorous' is a good fit for them, or individuals who feel like 'traditional' relationship terms (girlfriend, best friend, friends with benefits, etc.) are not too 'rigid' to describe their own feelings and relationships. Pronounced: 'sen-shul-air-e-an'" Positive thoughts to you while during questioning process. Exactly like you said, there's nothing wrong with playing to the stereotype of being non-monoamorous and bisexual. Some people are stereotypes. That doesn't make them any lesser or more superior. You're an valid person being authentic to themselves by identifying how they please, and that's fucking fantastic.

[@sharonpriya9105]

WOw..this video made so much sense..

[@imaginationlord]

Very good video. I think what you're describing is queerplatonic as polyam tends to be in a romantic/sexual context, but it's a good gateway to exploring your feelings on polyam!

[@Chilidog02]

Oh god I can relate so much

[@jacegulbronson1970]

Hey! I’m Polyam, and have only been in polyam relationships. I’m also on the Aro spec and have had very similar relationships with friends and queer platonic partners! My heart is just full of all kinds of love (but not as much romantic love) and I’ve enjoyed having polyamorous relationships that allow me the ability to explore lots of types of love!! Thanks for this video, tbh I’m gonna send it to lots of people to describe QPRS and how I see them 💞and hope you give yourself the room to explore all of these feelings in there fullness

[@pinkopansy]

Yes dude, this is something I definitely feel. I love and value all my friends but there's definitely something different between how my friendship w/ most people is (as well as how I see other people interacting w/ their friends) and my closest friends who I can kiss and drape myself over and who can all share a bed together spooning w/o it being a romantic or sexual thing.

[@liamjake1208]

Fuck you're so GORGEOUS!!! I unfortunately can't completely relate, as I haven't found my own "cluster" yet. I do feel like I have so so much love to give though, I'm just too scared to talk to people. Great video Jake! xx

[@pastyginger]

Jake, I have the same feelings about my group, I wasn't sure anyone else had this! What you said about how you're not even really looking for a partner because your group gives you everything rings soooo true with me as well. The only time I'm interested in meeting new people/going out is to find a sexual partner, but any long-term 'partner' would have to somehow surpass my connection to my group. We've joked that our partners will have to live in a guest house separate from the house we will live in together.

[@Ishuval]

I have only recently admitted to myself that I indeed am polyam. I struggled against my feelings of wanting or wanting to pursue multiple partners, romantic or sexual, for a long time because my supposed monogamy was the one thing of my identity I was very sure of. My gender felt like it changed and morphed, so did my sexuality, but being monogamous was the one thing that was static. I sort of clung to that. However, when I got out of a very intense and in some ways very painful and twisted long-term relationship, I slowly opened myself to the idea. I now am in an open relationship and to be honest... it isn't better or worse than anything else. I was scared that I was going to be jealous very often or intensely, because I had been in previous monogamous relationships, but I really don't mind. This kind of neutrality and calmth is new but very welcome.

[@ssuperspidy5387]

Idk if this will help but I’m quio/wtf romaticwhich is when you get confused for romantic and plutonic attraction so for me romantic and plutonic “things” are basically the same

[@loopylou]

Looking seriously handsome there Jake 👌

[@shimmerwolfarts]

I have a very good example of this kind of feeling... One of my very good friends is in a committed romantic relationship, but she is also very physical and intimate with her friends. She doesn't feel any romantic feelings with her friends, she just loves cuddling and holding hands and kissing her friends' cheeks. It's just the way she is and how she shows love for her friends. It doesn't mean she holds any kind of romantic or sexual attraction towards them at all. Her fiance is even aware of this and he doesn't mind. He knows she shows platonic affection for her friends in a very physical way. It doesn't mean she's polyamorous, it just means she's a very physical affection kind of person.

[@quirkyblackenby]

This is really interesting because I’m the opposite in a way. I’m not very affectionate with my friends but we’re very close and love each other a lot more than our significant others. We prefer each other over our partners. We just understand each other better idk.

[@DOOD1D]

I seriously need to be part of this friendship group. We met once and you hugged me tightly and it felt like you knew me for longer than a few minutes.

[@masonplatman9784]

Since you said you feel as though you are closer than friends but it's not romantic. It could be queer-platonic (look into it as I am not that great at explaining) but in short is a relationship that is closer than most friends but not romantic or sexual

[@honeydoodles4]

!!!! This really resonates to me, in that my feelings about people I'm close to often don't fit into the neat categories we have labels for. Polyamory absolutely feels relevant to me, even if it's not in a particularly sexual or traditionally romantic way. IDK if you are already familiar with it, but if not I suggest looking up the comic Kimchi Cuddles which is mainly about polyamorous relationships that take a variety of forms.

[@Olfonia]

have you looked into „relationship anarchy“ before? maybe this is also something you relate to in certain ways. it’s good to see you talk about it so openly :)

[@alicemiano2578]

I might suggest having a look into relationship anarchy and the spectrum of aromantism and different types of attraction x Helped me a lot , don't need to walk away with a label but it might help you understand yourself more , good luck x

[@philmccracken7009]

yeah me too, at this point i cant really tell the difference between am i romantically interested or and i just very good friends with them.

[@lunar.eclipse]

I want a friendship like that

[@SoluneMoreau]

As a polya bisexual I feel you on the stereotype thing xD it's okay, we have a right to love whatever way we feel like too.

[@Nhouah]

Polyamory is not just about romantic or sexual relationship, aromantic and/or asexual people can be polyamorous for instance and you could very well be polyamorous from what you're saying. Have a look into queerplatonic relationships (relationships that don't fall under the friendship/romantic dichotomy), relationship anarchy and the aromantic spectrum as well maybe, because it sounds like you're describing queerplatonic relationships with your cluster.

[@samwell7178]

Kinda sounds like how I view like queer platonic attraction like in queer platonic relationships. I know I have a bit of a distinction between that and platonic relationships. It’s neat to think about and explore attraction and relationships. I know I think about it a lot as an aromantic person and on the ace spec

[@PinkieBoi]

Yea... I refer to that close group as 'my humans'. I don't really see why it needs explanation though... maybe I'm odd

[@elkpapa]

Yeah you sound polyam af dude! Congrats & join the fam. I think what cinched it for me was knowing that it was inevitable in every relationship I'm in that I continue to get crushes & want to be close to a bunch of different people, so eventually being monogamous wasn't really possible anymore (no matter how much I tried). I think just being open to whatever form a relationship takes and not hanging yourself up on being exclusive or reproducing heteronormative relationship structures definitely marks you as polyam.

[@nublessed8993]

For me pll underestimate friendship and how deep it is

[@ewanschneider1903]

Hello there and thank you for the insight! I really understand the idea of having a few friends to be very intimate with at the same time. And I also believe that with all the shapes of love, being polyam is a thing we don't really recognize, but practising in a way.

[@TheOtivid]

I’m demi so I’d LOVE to have a group of friends that is super affectionate like this without it necessarily being sexual.

[@deadboy5678]

Wow, I relate so much to everything you said! I often found myself thinking I'd be fine being single since my closest friends give me everything I need. Yet I still occasionally flirt😏 with the idea of polyamory for a lot of similar reasons, especially having so much love to give~ 💖💛💚💙💜

[@jnerosfire]

Being full of love and loving everyone is much better than being filled up with hate and hating everyone you come in contact with :-)

[@MidnightWolf150]

Have you considered you might be desiring / experiencing queer platonic relationships!! They're usually for ace/aro people but I don't see why someone else can experience that!!

[@MidnightWolf150]

Also cluster is so cute, like sense 8!!

[@theadventuresofpolyphony8032]

Really relate to this especially about holding hands and cuddling etc. when I was in dance training it was super 'normal' for us to cuddle our friends, give cheek kisses, hold hands and all of those platonic displays on affection but recently getting close to and having discussions with more non-dancers I've realised its not something everyone does/deems 'normal'. I to find it hard to describe some of my friendships to people, to be honest some of my friendships would probably be better described as a queer-platonic relationship but then that raises the question (as I have a partner), am I currently in a polyam relationship? My girlfriend is aware and okay with these friendships but would classing them as a queer-platonic relationship change that comfort level for her? Ahh so many questions I'm asking myself, I'm glad someone else is asking similar ones! Loved this video

[@deviousvelosity]

Being Polyam came?? naturally to me tbh. Being monogamous was never comfortable for me, I never cheated on anyone but my capacity to feel love and have crushes on people never went away and i know that made the people i was monogamous with p uneasy. I’ve been with my current partners for over a year and the newest one 8months and they’re all v okay with me exploring my crushes and dating ext. i just don’t really go to far w anyone that doesn’t seem like a good fit into the balance i already have, balance is something you master with time

[@embyrwulf]

this is exactly the way i am with my closest friends~~

[@RisinBolger]

I don't think this is an uncommon thing, I'm not sure if I personally would equate it to polyamory though. Most of my friendship experiences and observations have gone beyond what maybe some people would consider to be the boundaries of friendship but I don't think it's particularly uncommon. I find its very apparent amongst more loving and empathetic people.

[@caileandangreau543]

Hey! I just want to thank you 'cause it's the first time ever I heard something that much related to what I feel. I tried to explain it to one of my closer friends one day and she... kind of freaked out, I couldn't explain in the right way. Badly, all my closer friends are French speakers and can't understand English, but your video gave me so much positive vibes. So thanks you. A lot.

[@mikelmontoya2965]

Cailean Charmeleon hey! I think there's a term that may suit what you are feeling and help you explain it to your friends. It's called queerplatonic relationships. angrrygirl.blogspot.com.es/2015/07/cest-quoi-le-queerplatonique.html?m=1 Check this link out, I think it's pretty good, my French isn't great (I've studied it for 8 years but honestly I find it soooo difficult) so I don't really know, but it seems to be very well explained. Basically a queerplatonic relationship is a relationship between to people, of any romantic and sexual orientation, that have a bond that feels beyond what people usually feels towards their friends, with much more intimacy, affection and commitment (to the extreme that some queerplatonic "couples" even live together, are life-long partners and/or raise children together), but doesn't feel romantic either. Usually it's not sexual either (I mean, even "normal" friends sometimes are sexually attracted to each other), but it can be, what it can't be is romantic in any case. People who share queerplatonic feelings with each other usually are very cuddly and affectionate. A queerplatonic partner is called a zucchini, and a queerplatonic crush (not necessarily corresponded requited) is called a squish. Example: "so I started developing really really strong feelings towards Helena, but I didn't really wanna date her, just be around them a lot, and hug her, and kiss them on the cheek... I found this term "squish" and told her that that's the way I felt about her, they told me that they too and now she's my zucchini."

[@caileandangreau543]

Hey! Thanks! Yeah, I know it. But I think they just can't feel it the way I do.

[@mikelmontoya2965]

Cailean Charmeleon then you have a lot of unrequited squishes xDD don't worry, me too, at least it doesn't feel as awkward as unrequited romantic crushes

[@caileandangreau543]

Ahah yeah, that's ok, I feel special for them anyway, and that means a lot to me, no matter if the feeling is different. :p That's quite awkward if we think I'm almost an ice with most people when they didn't, and I act a way it's ordinary for them, which is not for me. xD

[@francesayres9243]

I relate to this so strongly! I just want to shout me too!!! This isn’t talked about much in polyam things, but relationship anarchy and aro articles have helped me. Nothing has been as perfect as this video though! It’s like you have took the thoughts out of my head and made them into words that make sense!

[@Bones2675]

Hey there Jake ^-^ what it sounds like you're describing is QPRs (queer platonic relationships), which basically just means that you are more than friends and possibly committed to someone, but are in no way in a romantic relationship with them. (There is some lenience in what a QPR can mean, but that's how I would describe it). Now being in multiple QPRs doesn't necessarily mean you are poly - you could very well be in multiple QPRs and not say you're dating multiple people (again, different for everyone), but that can depend on your identity - just somethin to think about, hope it's helpful! - Elliot (they/he)

[@FriendJamie]

I love you! You’re like a soft fuzzy peach and #ClusterVibesForLife 💜

[@Bostik13]

see this is why I (as an aromantic person) get so confused. what exactly is romantic attraction? like ive always viewed it as having a close friend. im also asexual, but thats easier to define for me because i would rather literally set myself on fire than do anything sexual, but when it comes to romantic attraction im lost lol

[@lorcanholmes3800]

Well as one such person in your cluster let me just announce that it's super mutual, and ;) But for real, yeah, this is a dialogue i've been having with myself for a while now, the difference between my love expression and other peoples'. I maybe also think it could be a reflection of the younger LGBT+ social norms? It's so much easier for us to explore like this because we lack societal boundaries. That said, yes to all of it, and I love you so so so much in more than one of those greek ways.

[@PinkXxKiss]

As another bi/pan/queer poly person, I enjoyed your fuck you to stereotypes at the end as that's a feeling I have quite regularly. I worked out that I was poly... a year or two back? An ex-partner and I started dating again while I also started online dating for the first time [with their support, etc, of course]. The first date I went on ended up being with someone who was poly, and talking to him about how he felt about dating, relationships and friendships was very similar to myself. [IE I also have super close bonds with some of my friends; we'll cuddle, we'll hold hands, etc... And I don't want that to be limited by any potential partners.] In the time since then I've become more and more comfortable with being poly... and somehow managed to "convert" other people I've dated to this way of being too. [Most likely they were already poly too, but just needed to time and space to think outside of the world's mononormativity/amatanormativity.] I feel so much happier now than I did before and I love my life and I love both my partners and my friends!

[@PinkXxKiss]

Also; I love the word used by the poly community for the extended groups of people formed when poly people date. It's a polycule! So while I may not be dating my partner's partner, that person would be apart of my polycule! :D

[@unialex8198]

To me it sounds like what you have with your "cluster" as you call them could be a type of queerplatonic relationship. It's like something more than "just friendship", but also not romantic or sexual. Now, you obviously don't have to label it if you don't want to, I just thought it sounded like what I feel towards people. I'm aromantic so I don't feel romantic attraction, but I do have very similar feelings that you described. Great video btw, also you're awesome :)

[@dilara38641]

RELATABLE!

[@teaguebean]

There is a term for what it seems like you are describing. I would highly suggest that you look into Relationship Anarchy.

[@Bucherviews]

Well, I'm aromantic asexual so I'm not sure if what my ideal relationship setup is can TECHNICALLY be called 'polyamorous' but... hardcore relate on the close cluster of friends thing. I tell them all that they should come and live with me in one big affectionate commune, and we can raise our joint children together :D

[@VeganPirateNinja]

Wow yes I get somewhat what you mean!! I don't have such close friendships as in intimate, but I definitely feel like I could and it wouldn't have to be a big deal. I do have like two friendships that feel so much deeper than any of my other friendships that it feels like a different 'level' kind of. I'm not physically very intimate with them but I may be emotionally more intimate with them than with my partner. And I don't feel like my parter(s) are more important than my friends, I just have different types of relationships with them. And even my relationships with different partners can be very different. I'm polyamorous and I realised this maybe half a year ago and I currently have a polyam partner, but I haven't yet looked for another partner but I'm sure I will. I just feel like this type of relationship model would work for me best, so why not at least try it. I can definitely relate to feeling like I just have so much love to give, so why not experience that with as many people as I (timelimit wise) can! It's wonderful to love a lot of people in different ways but equally with mutual respect, understanding and communication. Most people (unknowingly) shame it though, and being a queer, non-binary vegan feminist, I feel like people see me as so weird, but I feel like all of my existence is just so natural to me and doesn't feel like an active 'weirdness overload'. I'm bi and polyam, so yeah I get the concern for the stereotypes but like you said, fuck stereotypes! If people want to attribute my polyamory to me being bi, then they are incorrect if they generalise that to all bi people. I just happen to be bi and also be inclined to polyamory, give the stereotypes a rest people!!

[@hunterunicorn7292]

I want my friend group to be like your Cluster!!

[@vikshere]

as an aro person who identifies as polyam, i understand this a lot. i havent explored it a lot due to the fact that im just not in a good place in my life to find new people and date, but i definitely experience a lot of queerplatonic attraction towards people in my life. its sort of like what you explain, where you feel an affectionate connection and desire towards people, but dont necessarily wish for it to be romantic or sexual in nature. i dont really like being in serious monogamous relationships. it feels uncomfortable for me to try and be romantic with someone, and then on top of it, feel guilty or uncomfortable with being affectionate with others. i care about everyone in my life so dearly, and i have a lot of love and affection to give, and whilst i dont really understand it all the time, i still love the mental image of me later in life, living with a group of friends im dating in a place together and it being really nice and domestic and just. full of love and cuddles.

[@delgrant9696]

This hair fits you well Jake

[@leah2799]

I definitely feel like this with a lot of my friends but I’m not sure if they feel similar like I’d totally date the majority of my close friends and i often think about how beautiful and special they are??????? Idk

[@zaptorzim]

Love is beautiful ❤✨

[@ElliePetrova24]

I feel the same and I'm very confused >.

[@franzib.6268]

Have you heard of relationship anarchy? Sounds a lot like it :p

[@RingTheDoorbelll]

This is so interesting as i also questioned whether i was polyam as i have such a close relationship with some of my close friends. Goood quality content my dude

[@RingTheDoorbelll]

i also feel like my love to love people is why i adore sitc so much as nearly every single one of the people i love and adore with my whole sense of being are in one space at one time. It always leaves me so energised and happy and content.

[@alexrose6471]

I'm starting to dip my toes into the idea of polyamory/that I might be polyamorous, but I can't imagine being as touchy feely/physically intimate with friends in the way you described if I had zero romantic/sexual feelings for them. Things such as hugs and holding hands I can see myself potentially doing with any good friend, kisses on the cheek with some??? people? but when it comes to kisses on the lips, cuddling etc, if I were to do that with a friend I wouldn't be comfortable with it unless on some level I also saw them in a non-platonic light. Not that I think that kind of thing is necessarily inappropriate between platonic friends, I guess personally I just wouldn't WANT to be that physically close with people I wasn't physically(sexually) interested in. Maybe because I'm the kind of person that isn't super comfortable with lots of physical contact anyway, with the exception of sex.

[@claygirl4216]

I feel this we ran in to a similar situation in my friend group we are all very affectionate. I am polygamous and another member of our group at the time was questioning if they were because of the way we all acted but after geting in to a relationship it was clear to him that that was not the case. I do think for me being to affectionate does in part come from the polyamory but for most of the group its just a genuine higher comfort level. Moral of the story take your time in figuring it out!

[@parkeristired7884]

i feel like i can relate to this video in a bit of a different way, i feel that i may be poly because i feel so afraid and untrusted by people i would always need to have another person to have the same feelings for. like i could never only have that one person to share those deep feelings and romances with. it just seems so limiting and if something were to happen with someone who would i turn to in order to share how i feel in a way where a person gets my feelings first hand? that makes zero sense but i just feel that i cant be obligated to only be with one person

[@wheeeliegirl]

Hey okay so I really relate to this. I'm not a touchy-feely person to most people but I am to my people. I call mine my pack. Some members I've had falling out with but if they ever needed me I'd be there. When that claim is made for me it's forever whether we talk everyday or not. Whether we have fallen out or not doesn't matter. I have a tattoo on my back for this reason family is what you make it it's kind of become my model. Because my pack is more than friends. If I had a significant other in the pack didn't like them I don't think it would last very long. I don't think I could be romantically polyamorous personally. This type of friendship I get

[@87654321j]

You look so handsome Jake that shirt is so cute also your beard is very smart :-)

[@LoxiDays33]

I've been in two polytriads and they both ended disastrously but they were great while they lasted and I'm pretty sure I am poly (Mainly because I fall in deep, deep love with multiple people at once lmao)