Am I Wrong for Refusing to Remove the Lock on My Daughter’s Door Until My In-Laws Move Out?

Рет қаралды 7,005

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 49

@Midnightstories68 13 күн бұрын

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@asatraven4752 Ай бұрын

Borrowing needs permission, else it is stealing. Just borrow his money to pay rent. Or borrow their phones and sell them. Lets see if they are so nonchalant then

@Midnightstories68 Ай бұрын

It's important to find a balance between sharing and respecting boundaries. Borrowing should always come with permission, and everyone deserves to feel their personal space and belongings are respected. Hopefully, communication can help resolve the situation in a way that works for everyone.

@denisekarpuszka8948 Ай бұрын

Tell him he owes your daughter $60. KEEP IT ON

@jnicoulakos 23 күн бұрын

I agree with you there, I think the wife will start in on that one.

@Bhai_From_Bihar Ай бұрын

So thats why no one in the family helped them Cuz they were jerks

@Midnightstories68 Ай бұрын

Maybe, but family dynamics are complicated. There could be many reasons they didn’t help beyond just personalities.

@LoneWanderSpark303 Ай бұрын

As far as I'm concerned, only a thief would fight that hard over the addition of a lock. There are people that will grumble about it, sure, but they never put up any real fight over it like a thief would.

@donaldfleming5049 Ай бұрын

The in-laws need to realize that they are guests in OP's house, and need to respect the property of the people who actually live there. OP had every right to put a lock on his kid's bedroom door, since the in-law's kids seem to have no concept of boundaries, and seem to think that anything & everything in OP's daughter's room is up for grabs.

@Midnightstories68 Ай бұрын

It's understandable to feel that way, especially when it comes to respecting boundaries and personal property in someone else's home. It’s clear that OP was trying to protect his daughter's space after repeated incidents, which is reasonable. At the same time, communication and setting clear expectations with the in-laws could have helped avoid the need for the lock in the first place. Both sides likely have their own frustrations, but respecting personal space and boundaries is definitely important for keeping peace in a shared living situation.

@donaldfleming5049 Ай бұрын

@@Midnightstories68Communication & setting expectations are all well & good, but only if both sides are open to it, which is not the case here. OP tried multiple times to get his brother in-law to get his kids to stop going into his daughter's room uninvited & taking things, but the BIL had no interest in doing so, going so far as to explain away his kids actions as just normal things kids do & refusing to believe that what they were doing was actually stealing, and then trying to put the blame on OP's daughter for complaining in the first place. And it doesn't help matters that OP's wife is firmly behind her brother in this matter rather than her daughter's, which I find inexcusable. For context, I was in a similar situation to OP's daughter growing up, where a member of my family would sneak into my bedroom & steal my stuff. However, instead of it being a cousin, it was my little brother who was the thief, and neither of my parents were of any help in keeping him out of my room. My dad even got mad when I put a padlock on my door to keep my brother out of my room when I wasn't in there, and when I installed a bar on the inside of the door to keep him out when I was asleep, my dad actually threatened to take the door off the hinges if I didn't get rid of it (my dad insisted on having unrestricted access to my room so he could turn my light on in the morning in order to make me get up to go to school, which I felt was rude). So I'm definitely going to side with OP on this, because I know what he & his daughter are going through having to deal with family members who are only interested in making excuses & not interested in solving any problems.

@Midnightstories68 Ай бұрын

I completely understand your frustration and empathize with your experience. It's incredibly disheartening when family members refuse to acknowledge or address harmful behavior. It sounds like you've faced a similar situation, and I'm glad you were able to find a way to protect yourself. OP's situation is indeed challenging, especially with the lack of support from his wife. It's important for him to prioritize his daughter's well-being and find ways to establish boundaries. Perhaps involving a mediator or family therapist could help facilitate a productive conversation and resolution.

@vixxxenfoxxx3660 Ай бұрын

All the stress ends up putting the daughter in the hospital. Finally the mom realizes just how bad her daughter was suffering. They come home and see a party happened and the lock was broke. Mom loses it on her mooch scumbag brother and kicks him out.

@virginia247 Ай бұрын

You do what you do to protect your children. My hubby was and is our kids hero . Good men protect 🙏🙏🙏

@davidjolin1798 Ай бұрын

How dare he complain about what he does in his own home

@Midnightstories68 Ай бұрын

He's within his rights to set boundaries in his own home, but navigating family dynamics can be tricky. It’s understandable he wants to protect his daughter’s privacy, though better communication might have helped ease tensions

@JezabelleAsa Ай бұрын

"Zoe and I are leaving, or they are. Make your choice"

@creatorsteven Ай бұрын

Just because the lock is there doesn't mean she has to use it. The father gave his daughter the option of privacy when she wants it. It doesn't stop them from socializing or spending time together. And rather than being angry at the lock, they should try encourage them to get along, then maybe she won't feel the need to lock the door. Dad is the good guy in this story. The resistance is strange to me.

@Midnightstories68 Ай бұрын

You make a fair point. The lock does give her the option for privacy, but it doesn’t necessarily prevent socializing or spending time with family. Encouraging better communication and understanding between everyone involved could help reduce the need for the lock, while still respecting her boundaries. It’s about finding a balance between privacy and fostering a supportive environment.

@genevievebent8176 Ай бұрын

Could no one teach the cousins to respect other people's goods and privacy?

@lesleygreen273 Ай бұрын

So your BIL is your wife's brother- sounds as though she is used to this treatment. Get rid of BIL and his daughters or you will end up having to get rid of wife.

@smsff7 Ай бұрын

It would be for the best at that point. The wife is crazy.

@maxtortarum4657 Ай бұрын

The only thing he did wrong is allow too much BS. He should have called out stealing at the first instance

@helgardhossain9038 Ай бұрын

You ARE wrong not to step up against your nieces and demanded compensation for the damaged property (make up kit) worth 60.-£ You are the boss in this home YOUR RULES COUNT. The brother-in law & daughters are guests and have to respect that some things are being handled differently in your family ... if your wife loves her brother's ways so much she should move right out WITH him - one doesn't need unsociable people around one ! It's dangerous - one's own standards might drop ...

@Person-ef4xj Ай бұрын

The solution the OP came up with didn’t involve punishment, but instead involved allowing his daughter to use a lock to protect her things. I don’t think the OP is in the wrong for helping his daughter protect her things.

@Midnightstories68 Ай бұрын

I can understand your perspective. The OP chose to address the issue by giving his daughter a way to protect her things, rather than directly punishing anyone. It's definitely a complicated situation with different ways to approach it.

@fakerweldi7879 Ай бұрын

Idk what state op lives in but he might need to "declare " about them being guests in his house to avoid them turning to residents in his house as it's seems to me that this is what his wife's brother wants to do.

@Midnightstories68 Ай бұрын

I see where you're coming from, but it might not be that extreme. It sounds like the brother-in-law and his daughters are just going through a tough time, and the tension is more about personal boundaries and respect within the home rather than any intention to overstay. Sometimes clear communication and setting boundaries early on can help avoid misunderstandings like this.

@rosschatterton709 Ай бұрын

P.S. If I 'borrowed' stuff like this from my family I'd get my ass kicked to a beand new shape.

@jnicoulakos 23 күн бұрын

NTA , even you said that your the only ones in the family who welcomed them into your home when no one else did and they needed it. Instead of being grateful they took advantage of you because your wife allows the BS.

@NelleBoogie89 Ай бұрын

The in-laws and the wife can go!

@ten5h1 Ай бұрын

Zoe is going to remember this. The fact that her daddy stepped up and that her egg donor let the abu$e happen.

@bnaisirap Ай бұрын

Didn't go far enough. The girls and their father should have been evicted. And the wife? If she Didn't like it, she could leave too.

@christinepuliselic5340 Ай бұрын

His wife is a horrible mother. Her daughter should come first before her brother. Give them a deadline for moving out. Leeches.

@denisemoon4743 Ай бұрын

You and Zoey need to move out until your wife stands up for her daughter.. PS your wife can let the girls at her stuff

@annewilliams5527 Ай бұрын

“Borrowing “implies that you mean to return that item. There doesn’t appear to be any sign of this happening. So, go right ahead and keep all of your daughter and her possessions safe. You’re a good dad, and that’s all you need to aspire to be. One more point, it’s an absolutely disgusting habit that youngsters today seem to have gotten into , using each other’s makeup. It’s one of the most unhygienic habits ever and it makes me retch merely at the thought of it. STOP IT……NOW.

@Midnightstories68 Ай бұрын

You're right-borrowing implies returning, and that wasn’t happening here. It's important to protect your daughter’s privacy and belongings. Hygiene, especially with personal items like makeup, is a valid concern too.