Crusader Kings 3, THE UNATTRACTIVE EXPERIENCE

[@briank2633]

He's a sultan alright. Assaultin' my eyes.

[@Skeletonizer1200]

Marrying minors, too. Never forget Prophet Muhammed and his pedophilia.

[@markusvlad7217]

I need a salt in my eyes

[@Khaisz.]

When even newborns who hasn't seen the sunlight yet has -43 opinion of you, you must done something wrong in life.

[@crossbo5345]

mfs in plato's cave could tell.

[@blarg2429]

@@crossbo5345 He steps into the cave and they think his shadow is evil itself made manifest.

[@joryfarice]

Boom

[@jakel5801]

😂

[@StickongaVA]

"I will have them compete over how much they like me" "no YOU like him the most" "No yOU like him the most"

[@KaiserCeaser]

Nobody is gay for moleman

[@jarrod752]

_I need to breed out the ugly_ 15 seconds later: _With this religion I can marry my cousin..._ I don't think that's going to work out as well as you think it will...

[@SW-qk9jx]

This video had me checking if the playback speed was set to zero on several occasions. Also, if the playback drunkenness was set to zero. Love you always, AA

[@ZendikarMage42750]

Well, he took the Pure-Blooded trait, so... heh heh

[@Likesouh]

my life, the experience.

[@ambiguousamphibian]

Hope it gets better for you

[@yskiptopia]

😮​@@ambiguousamphibian

[@King_of_Cards]

hope you can find and woo a maid

[@azpont7275]

Don't worry, your bloodline can be redeemed from your genepool within a few generations.

[@fetzen6424]

Just rubbed one out for you bro🤝

[@kotriften]

Most attractive paradox gamer

[@ambiguousamphibian]

Blushing

[@vermiworm]

Emperor Egbert Hildebrand is a fascinating individual. At once crippled, hideously deformed and plagued with illness, yet also strangely durable, like a craggy flaking boulder.

[@thebandofbastards4934]

He is blessed by Nurgle.

[@qhu3878]

​@@thebandofbastards4934 praise be to papa nurgle

[@sdbegotist]

He’s photo-realistic Meatwad

[@danielhale1]

AA: spends the game as an intensely ugly man marrying attractive women to breed out the ugly AA: "I'd like to thank my patrons, who are all extremely, extremely attractive..." Patrons: *nervous sweating*

[@voided_sun]

Money is quite attractive

[@lordalseth]

firing your entire court to get out of debt when not a single one of your 74 HOLDINGS are making money because you’re over your limit of 7 is a power move. this is the kind of quality gameplay i come here for

[@kylepessell1350]

Not to mention that he would have had far less problems with everyone hating him if he'd matched the local religion instead of picking one that the majority of his people view as evil and thus comes with a hefty opinion malus.

[@saintsea-hat7891]

America moment

[@patrickwilliams7695]

This is genuinely the first time I've seen somebody create a character I would classify as "Actively difficult to look at", I've had to tab away from the video multiple times because I genuinely cannot stare at Egbert for longer than three seconds.

[@acheron16]

I am surprised that even a creature from Silent Hill is able to find a spouse

[@LordDragox412]

In these times, that creature could become a president!

[@Moody-Boy]

So accurate! I just can’t stop laughing every time I see Egbert on screen 😂

[@beebco]

I like how we had Ned Lamont, governor of Connecticut as your cup bearer and Phil Scott, governor of Vermont as the court physician

[@Blazeit-rj3eb]

What about Larry hogan from maryland

[@hansstrudel9614]

And did he take Kamala Harris as a wife?

[@kingofravens215]

@@hansstrudel9614 I believe so lol

[@Thund3rDrag0n12]

7:55 As a Connecticut resident seeing fucking Ned Lamont in one of these videos gave me the most severe whiplash of my life

[@RealTrey19]

Ned Lamont is my favorite medieval European ruler

[@HEAVENCALLERX]

Malloy's son could've been treasurer

[@roddyeskew3909]

Milquetoast governor jumpscare

[@Vok250]

Crazy that this game opens every single campaign with the giant text saying "CUMANIA" in the middle of the screen.

[@transformersloverjon]

Sperm Mania?

[@justsomepepperwithamustach2077]

Cumans were cool

[@stevenclark1662]

Thise darn Cumans, sacking Skalitz

[@generalmarkmilleyisbenedic8895]

Im feeling quite hungry

[@Zeales]

Can you do an opposite run of this one? Literally make 5000 babies and take over the world Genghis khan-style.

[@kingofravens215]

Maybe as a mongol as well that would be interesting!

[@boltfantasticated9705]

He’d need a mod to uncap the amount of kids you can have. The limit is 8 before the game starts actively trying to kill one of your kids I believe.

[@Itsabl_r]

Literally would die laughing if that worked 😂

[@TaranTaranov]

​@@boltfantasticated970514 if you have concubines or 4 spouses. If you kill them it resets sometimes

[@molybdaen11]

​@@boltfantasticated9705I had up to 15 baby's even as a African woman before. Just take good care of them. And give them a good education.

[@Dafeaz]

Someone named Egbert Hildegard is gonna watch this and be like "Wait wtf"

[@muleorastromule3491]

They already know.

[@otaconarcadia7372]

4:10 A soul still burns in the Monster Factory.

[@Drakith90]

No middle sliders!

[@Alizudo]

I need another Monster Factory video so badly (ToT)

[@wumbology6072]

No middle sliders!

[@tyborg4]

My daily grind personified:

[@adriansumega3284]

77/6 holdings Age of court guests 219 Wtf am I looking at?!

[@janedoe7116]

Crusader Kings 3, THE SCROTUM EXPERIENCE

[@ShayLaLaLooHoo]

"Breed the ugly out of the next generation!" The debatably dubious eugenics run.

[@tommeakin1732]

CK3 exists so that Hoi4 players, bereft of the true 1930's Germany experience, can feel whole and...pure again

[@muleorastromule3491]

Come on, there's nothing problematic about a "Pure-Blooded" trait that gives buffs.

[@generalmarkmilleyisbenedic8895]

Yes yes buzzword eugenics

[@AnonymousI5]

"Gertrude is objectively an ugly name" Ssundee says otherwise

[@Alizudo]

I haven't heard Ssundee's name in over a decade, good Lord.

[@mushroomsamba82]

Ah yes, my favorite historical setting, the city of Baltimore in 1066.

[@molybdaen11]

I wonder how it really looked at that time.

[@honkhonk5000]

Trees

[@tgheretford]

That awkward moment when a purposely generated hideous character has had more romantic success in five minutes than I have had in a lifetime.

[@Br3ttM]

If you look at why they accepted, I think there was a +150 modifier for "marrying up", so they were only accepting for political reasons. "It's good to be king".

[@someguycalledcerberus9805]

The ability to marry women by buying them from their local lord without any input from the woman does do wonders to your love life, I tell you.

[@LordDragox412]

@@someguycalledcerberus9805 -women- *children

[@victorportengen7941]

The character only had success with virtual computer-generated people, so actually the same amount of romantic success as you.

[@ujustgotpwned2008]

Ah yes, the Habsburg Everything.

[@Firestar-TV]

,,With this I can marry my Cousin" Yes, definitely 😂

[@P0PE418]

so relatable, especially the trying to please your wife from a neighbouring kingdom who's language you don't know

[@ricks5756]

9:51 an Islamic king, marrying Christian wives ... I'm sure THAT will not backfire at all.

[@Amy_the_Lizard]

Works well if you turn on religious tolerance...if not, well...I hope you either have Christian Syncretism, or gave befriended them prior to marrying them. My Taoist Witch adventurer is happily married to a Muslim woman who has +100 opinion of him, but I romanced her before marrying her so I could invite her to camp

[@TheEarthSausage]

Larry hogan was the recent governor of Maryland. It’s funny how he is in this mod

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

I love how much he naturally looked like Henry the 8th after adding the unattractive traits🤣

[@drewgensey3728]

"Breed out the ugly" Ah, good to see AA going for good old fashioned eugenics

[@molybdaen11]

If you are not breeding in ck3, you are playing it wrong 😊.

[@austinclements8010]

oh my god he made a thumb-thumb from Spy Kids

[@cgt3704]

1:14 Never thought Joe Biden was a thousand years old. Must be an anime character

[@funnycat9962]

Really? I thought that sounded about right.

[@wonderlandeldemonanastasi]

I must pause at 6:27 to state that I put this on while eating breakfast. Egbert's unattractiveness is so powerful that I am so repulsed I cannot stomach another bite of my food. The man could use his looks for psychological warfare, I'm telling you.

[@adognamedcat13]

8:35 Larry Hogan is the former governor of maryland

[@cyphi474]

Club footed, but on the wooden leg. You should name him "Please kill me now".

[@KittyNoodlesPPC]

I think this may be the first time I have ever genuinely been horrified on BEHALF of one of your poor characters. Well done sir.

[@GoodGamer3000]

Bro running the United States of Alabama

[@Armybrock]

All the options for court physician are past and present state governors.

[@hippiedude2232]

4:30 ...not even zoidberg would eat that.

[@Jmey22x]

I had to stop at this exact point because I couldn't comprehend what I just watched fully

[@lollypopalopicus]

A new Ambiguous Amphibian video. A fortuitous occasion.

[@SHRUGGiExyz]

My man Egbert Hildegard of Mauf lookin like a newly sprouted parasol mushroom 👑

[@floridamanwentwild4411]

I love how you didnt notice tifit was a lesbian as well

[@ABoredGod]

lesbian just means try harder

[@floridamanwentwild4411]

@@ABoredGod I dont think those words hold up well out of context

[@Svevsky]

Shouldve been a hint that her name was pronounced as "defeat"

[@smiegto]

i think the reason she didnt hate the charafcter as much is because sexual dis-attraction isnt a thing if you arent of the sexuality thats attracted but im unsure.

[@shawnconway9957]

I would think you fixed being club footed while being one legged... but your surgeon removed the wrong leg.

[@midgematic8659]

Egbert quite literally looks like a wart-infested snail, and yet he now has a special place in my hear me out cake

[@ickyickyptang9433]

The gasp when you named him. My very handsome Pepaw was named Egbert.... that being said, he did hate his name.

[@Asurnasurpal]

I literally changed my name irl TO Hildegard, and my second choice was gonna be Maud💀

[@madpie5147]

ikr maud is probably my favorite name

[@marcosrafael6858]

That's actually pretty cool, and I bet you would be a fascinating person to chat with during a party or farmer's market

[@ThogDontCare]

Probably would've been better off with Humphrey or Bartholomew

[@Asurnasurpal]

@@marcosrafael6858 Aww thank you! That's absolutely the vibe I wanna give off

[@ABoredGod]

wtf

[@kiantayebzadgan4580]

Guys i think he is turning into a paradox KZbinr...

[@ambiguousamphibian]

Making me blush

[@cgt3704]

Good. I needed someone to warn me if i should buy the next dlc paradox decides to make (depending on how much affects the game)

[@plasticbazooka]

​@@cgt3704The answer to that question is always both no and obviously yes. Paradox DLC is almost as bad as Warhammer 40K, both in cost and time you're gonna spend on it.

[@cgt3704]

@@plasticbazooka as a paradox player, i agree with your statement

[@Tentumon111]

"That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." "Wait, really?" "Yes, most of the time its just horrified screaming."

[@averagestalkr8354]

"This one is ok" as he hovers over a 9 year old is devious

[@ribbonstrand8398]

You know it's going to be a good video when, on finishing chargen and going to the realm select, AA's little guy looks like someone dressed up the baby from Eraserhead.

[@thesuspiciousorange2526]

11:57 I like how immediately after you say "we have to get those numbers up" her affinity for you dropped.

[@carto4028]

13:20 i should call her...

[@TheGalacticMarine]

No you shouldnt , its gonna end up the same.

[@MassiveiusBiggus]

This video is a great appetizer and moisturizer.

[@daviddenver5883]

All hail the green reptile, for he blessed us again with a video one will take upon his soul with joy and gratitude.

[@MassiveiusBiggus]

@@daviddenver5883 Amen to that, brother.

[@Tortue-et-Fitness]

4:16 David sculpture? Yeah, a David Lynch sculpture

[@Zomby_Goast]

"The Ugly" @0:25 just reminds me of an oblivion NPC lol

[@JETWTF]

Not quite there, you can do much worse in Oblivion and the character creator kinda forces it by having all the sliders connected including skin tone and age sliders connected to each other and all the others. Moving all the sliders in Oblivion to the left is more an exercise in futility but the results can be amazing lol.

[@Zomby_Goast]

@@JETWTF Oh I know of the monstrosities that can be made in the character creator lol. I meant the pre-made NPCs that try to look like normal human(oids) but just have this specific uncanniness to them.

[@ShamHGrateful]

Egbert Hildegard of Maud seeing this: ayo wtf

[@tenacityxl]

Finally, I can RP as myself :D

[@DARKarknar]

This Nightmarish abomination makes me Physically uncomfortable and ill....Great Job!

[@velarswood]

Omg the shady music when he starts talking about courting kids made me cry

[@charlesmaples8381]

I feel like ambigous amphibian plays games by just ignoring everything he possibly can lmao. "oh that's lord gwyn, the last boss of darks souls... whatever I'll just ignore it"

[@dendrien]

your health is your wealth. now thats deep man, wise words.

[@ImTronk]

7:46 Hiring the former governor of Connecticut to prevent yourself from being assassinated is the most lukewarm security detail I’ve ever heard

[@thesaviorofsouls5210]

I was not ready for the apearence reveal, looks like a vile molten snail in gravy

[@Dorkling]

I like to make self-insert characters when I play this sort of game too.

[@VibeJunkies]

King Egbert throwing HANDS from the grave right now

[@hakundus8767]

Please another 10 parts of this. I neeeeed it. Egbert need to recover his kingdom!

[@UnaEligiturDeo]

As a beautiful person, I need this video to see how the others must live.

[@RadicalEdward_115]

Eh probably mid

[@ABoredGod]

self glaze

[@chattychatotchannel]

If you seriously want to learn about people with visible differences like burn victims, those with scars and missing limbs and other disabled people and the challenges they face there's a really good charity called Changing Faces which has some really good educational resources about the discrimination people face like hate crimes, difficulty finding employment and lack of representation in media

[@TheRealMichelozzo]

Had a genuine LOL at the whole catholic revolt part of the episode XD

[@xMaugrex]

Egbert the Careless and Hildibrand Mandeville have been slandered this day

[@friendlyporkchop]

"whatever, let's just ignore the plague and move on" hm that sounds familiar

[@Yelvis61]

I couldn’t stop thinking about you at work today thanks for uploading

[@drivnundead6398]

Good news is that you were no longer over domain limit after that war.

[@SatanicBeard]

#2 sounds exactly like my inner monologue as a teenager, trying to pick someone up every weekend..

[@gordyhowitzer]

Now I'm not trying to backseat game here, but next time you're playing crusader kings, keep an eye out for bright red indicators that something is going wrong. For instance, if you're holding every single county yourself, you basically get nothing out of them - at 8:03, in the top right corner you'll see your demesne limit, try to stay somewhere near that number of held counties and you'll have a much easier time 8D. You can even give some land to your hideous progeny!

[@molybdaen11]

Oh he knew. It was a mercy kill at this point. 😅

[@Gochen86]

"Fires of Perserverance" you say? Nah. More like "Funeral pyre of my siblings".

[@hamzacasdasdasd]

İ dont know how but every time you send a video i somehow feel it and look at your channel

[@JiggyWiggles]

Cornflake homunculus

[@aviary6442]

Rejoice! For our true (very attractive) King, AmbiguousAmphibian, has returned!

[@Limrasson]

Current playthrough highlights: >Start as Mögyer adventurer. Thinking it will be fun to adventure, go throguh the hungarian migration, raid and then take some land with the homies. ÁRPÁD FAILS THE MIGRATION. Next tuesday I'm already in the Himalayas, looking for a wife. >Get a daughter who takes over, I try what happens if I support the peasants. ... I'm not leader of a peasant rebellion. ... I'm now a Scottish princess. >Prepare son to merge Mögyers and Scots (Oh the horror). He is killed by a boar. >My next character is a daughter who isn't matriliniarry married, so oh-uh. Somehow manage a male heir. Raise him to be the ideal knight of justice. His non-dynasty brothers still gonna be a problem, but no matter he is going to have time this character is probably gonna die by the time he is an adult. >This characters lives to be 88. My ideal heir is a reclusive alcoholic who is prone to charitable acts under the influence. But at least got to merge the two cultures, prepare for Scoto-Mögyer horse archers roflmao. >Prince doesn't even get the capital as inheritance. He is just and compassionate, gonna have a meltdown if I just try revoking titles. I send spy to nephew, turns out he is a deviant. AHA! I justly take his land. Then unjustly take my brothers' land anyway which is retroactively justified when they rebell against my tyranny...the realm demands it brothers. >Currently I'm #1 contributor to a Crusade that is ongoing for over 10 years at this point and all the AI does is that Mill of Death ants do. The AI is completely cooked and broken at this point.

[@molybdaen11]

In worst case you can adopt someone if you have time to change the culture. Otherwise your only chance is creating a voting law from your primary title.

[@godking_ginge]

"Breed the ugly out of the next generation." I need this on a shirt lol

[@GarfielddGarfield]

0:25 Wow, I didn’t know you could play as Asmongold! Although, technically, he should have all the diseased treats too, considering his lifestyle.

[@RS-nk7bd]

Ah yes: Man appears in the world Tries to have coitus with his wife Instantly dies What a legend.

[@molybdaen11]

That would make a interesting plot for a adult film.

[@Drakith90]

Lookin like a shapeshifter from Oglaf

[@juliamavroidi8601]

Can't believe I haven't thought of doing the Breed Out the Ugly challenge in Crusader Kings instead of Sims before this video

[@molybdaen11]

With adventurer lifestyle, it's now perfectly acceptable to give up your realm and start from scratch. You can even become stronger by collecting a new culture and rare men at arms from far away country's.

[@isaacsanford6340]

"Not even if you were the last man on earth!" -plague strikes- "You were saying... ?"

[@davet3588]

"Let's ignore the plague and move on" American government role-playing lmfao

[@DanishJawa]

Omg. He looks like Sterling's cornflake homunculus.

[@NichlasJensen-p4d-marxist]

I looked at the title and my brain went if it's a guy he can't look that bad. then looked at the character and my brain went sir you are just playing as my big toe. how can make CK3 character look that bad?

[@Tsvetii]

If you think the name Egbert is unattractive, you clearly underestimate the sex appeal of Speedy Eggbert my friend

[@williek08472]

“I’M UGLY AND I’M PROUD!” -Egbert Hildegard Maud, 1066 CE

[@kirekum]

Glad your ok and safe much love

[@MattePurpleHat]

HELL YEAH!! does this have a VOD perchance? 👀

[@Kinkerz92]

I work with someones name is Egbert and he's as creepy as this character! Props love it 😂

[@velarswood]

4:09 Jesus christ, I'm trying to eat here.

[@GarfielddGarfield]

20:14 damn I didn’t remember John looking like this in Homestuck!

[@Guile_The_Exile]

AA unintentionally made a monster for an unreleased Silent Hill game ☠️☠️☠️

[@canariawing]

20:13 i don't know how you did it, but you gave birth to the protagonist of homestuck. i don't know what part of this is the most cursed

[@user-c878]

Congrats! Your most cursed CK3 video to date!

[@incontinentia3119]

My dude out here roleplaying as the Loathsome Dungeater.