American Reacts to 10 Hilarious British Insults

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In this video I react to 10 of the best British insults. These are an excellent combination of funny, creative and a bit rude. I must admit no one does insults like the British. While I'm not someone that usually tries to insult people, I think a few of these would be a lot of fun to use on friends and family to get their reaction. LOL
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👉 Original Video:
• Top 10 BRITISH INSULTS...
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[@andreakinuthia4197]

My mum's favourite saying about pretentious people - 'all fur coat and no knickers'.

[@Jjudes9665]

The saying came about from politicians being ostentatious and petty during hard times amid arguments over wealth taxes.

[@gordowg1wg145]

No knickers might be how she got the fur coat😉👍

[@AB-ku4my]

@@gordowg1wg145 "She got the mink the same way the minks get minks", was well known when I were a lad. Meaning that "she" was promiscuos for reward.

[@demrelli]

Or "sitting on the museum steps with the price on her shoes".. Old reference to discreet way to advertise the price of fun

[@hogwashmcturnip8930]

Lace curtains and kippers! Meaning they are trying to be something they are not. All outward show, with Nothing behind it.

[@davonuk1]

"You have a good face for radio" is another way of telling,ing someone that they are ugly.

[@carl5652]

"Lights are on but nobody's home" is another one for dead from the neck up

[@Kootje792]

The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

[@StephMcAlea]

My fave is: "if your face was your fortune, you'd owe your arse a pound." 😂

[@hogwashmcturnip8930]

When he was born the doctor slapped the wrong end.

[@lauracrothers8131]

Lolol love that one, brilliant

[@coffeecidalmaniac]

I always liked "If I had a face like yours, I'd shave my arse & start walking on my hands"

[@elliswatkeys5827]

Or " If I had a face like yours, I'd teach my arse to speak" Or, more simply Your face, my arse

[@paulsimmonds2030]

When you were born, the midwife slapped your mother!

[@johamlett27]

Having 'a face like a slapped arse' is somebody looking miserable, not ugly. My favourite for ugly is 'You've got a face only a mother could love'. My favourite one for stupid is 'The lights are on but nobody's home'

[@alicetwain]

Neapolitans say (in dialect) "Ogni scarrafone è bell' a mamma soja", every cockroach is handsome to his mom.

[@SevCaswell]

another one for ugly is 'you have a perfect face for radio'.

[@scrappystocks]

Agree with you Jo, and same as bulldog chewing a wasp

[@RollerbazAndCoasterDad]

Bulldog chewing a wasp is angry

[@HeatherMyfanwyTylerGreey]

I believed it was a red weathered face. But not heard it often 'live'.

[@jamessykes8176]

One of the best insults ever was when Lady Astor accused Sir Winston Churchill of being drunk. His reply, "Yes Ma'am I am and you are ugly, but tomorrow I will be sober."

[@janeclarkson8471]

Brilliant but I thought it was said to Bessie Braddock! No matter, it's a good 'un'

[@jon.patience]

@@janeclarkson8471 Nancy Astor is supposed to have said to him "if you were my husband I'd poison your coffee" to which he replied "if you were my wife I'd drink it."

[@MrBulky992]

​@@janeclarkson8471 Yes, I agree, it was Bessie Braddock and not Nancy Astor. Braddock actually was "no oil painting"! Nancy Astor was by no means ugly so the remark would not have been funny if addressed to her.

[@jeanlind7540]

Winstons’ quotes are incredible 😂

[@jeanlind7540]

@@jon.patience Brilliant 😂

[@orwellboy1958]

She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

[@kelvinlambert4249]

Hit with the ugly stick

[@Badgersj]

🤣

[@raw6460]

Glad I checked this was here

[@Merlin-gu9nz]

yep then she climbed back up and jumped out again lol

[@rosieposie6521]

She's been hit with the ugly stick.

[@andyp5899]

An old insult was "Mad as a hatter" this was based on a real thing, in earlier times Hatters used mercury when making hats. This eventually affected their brain.

[@emilywilliams363]

Hence Hatter in Alice in Wonderland

[@gordonseales3950]

I'm from Belfast and grew up in the most dangerous city on the planet now Europe's capital of Terrorism's we don't have generation Z X snowflakes Woke's Gay's lesbian's Bull Dyke's lesbian's liberals left wing idiology nonsense goodbye to the planet say what you want your a spastic paraplegia retarded plastic Paddy's fuckin Cunt fuckin complete wanker bastard's anything goes Heinz 57 Dolly mixture we don't have Eastern Europeans and African's and Americans and English bastard's we can't even get along with eachother for 5 minutes we have our own terrorists we have our own Semtex and Gun's and munitions petrol bombs knee caping or a Jesus feed them to the Pig's let them cross the Irish sea they wouldn't be welcome in Larne or Belfast the free state Republic invited them over but even now the black English bastard's not that they particularly hate them just Brexit major Problem with Brexit English bastard's E.U community and plastic Paddy's keeping your nose out of our business got enough amunition problems let them cross the Irish sea they wouldn't be welcome in Larne or Belfast by the way knee caping or a Jesus feed them to the Pig's there is only 1.8 million people we will keep it that way because we are all Celtic people a dying breed blonde hair blue green eyes Celtic features except for Feinnien Bastard's Taigs S.t Patrick is buried in Downpatrick Cathedral we don't celebrate it because it's a day of work and no drinking we laugh at the free state Republic and the entire world for being the village idiots dressing up like clowns dickheads

[@elliswatkeys5827]

My late mum used the expression 'Mad as a meataxe"

[@benfoley8174]

I thought it was Arsenic they used. Same outcome mind you.

[@wavey2756]

Insults are definitely a term of affection in the uk. It’s the “banter” culture. I insult my friends all the time but never insult people that aren’t my friends. As others have said face like a slapped arse means miserable not ugly. Two sandwiches short of a picnic means stupid not crazy. It basically implies you are not all there.

[@iamkjb1]

'not all there' is an insult in itself 🙂

[@clairehill1963]

A favourite saying of mine is, if I'm nice to you, it means I don't like you

[@ceresbane]

two sandwiches means both stupid and crazy. it just means you're not all there. Implying you're not sane or not enough brain cells to be a functioning human. Same deal with slapped arse. You might have heard it in a certain context but there are other uses for it. If a person looks miserable, they aren't exactly making a pretty face. hence the phrase was coined to be used for misery. When it means ugly and has always meant that. You just need to step back a bit and understand how language evolves and think about why a person is saying one meaning while you know another.

[@Rokurokubi83]

Yeah we insult those we love, it’s a trust thing. They know that we know it’s banter, we expect to get the same back. Gentle teasing, no hate. I can call sister a dickhead to her face but she knows I’m only doing that because I trust her to take it as humour. We get real creative with insults for people we hate.

[@1justme]

Yeah. We have to know that the person isn't going to get upset by our insults, and they give as good as they get straight back at you. We wouldn't want to upset some stranger.

[@xhogun8578]

A dear friend of mine when we used to disagree we would start to insult each other. It soon became a competition to see who could come up with the best insult. Arguments/disagreements always ended up with the two of us in fits of laughter. Those were the best arguments and a great friendship. I still miss the arguments and my friend RIP.

[@jonfethers7608]

I heard a good one the other day about someone who has done everything - “If I had a giraffe, he’d have the box it came in” 😂

[@Neonradss]

one of my personal favourites is - "if you've been to Tenerife, he's been to Elevenerife" 😂

[@SgtSteel1]

@@Neonradss Your mum is so dirty she gave the hoover asthma!

[@jasonwales6502]

Meh

[@dorothysimpson2804]

No, his cat would.

[@StevanOvich61]

Similar to a male who thinks they know it all, or done everything. 'Billy two Dicks'...

[@willh5061]

You are correct. We Brits “take the piss” (gently insult or ‘rib’) out of people we like the most. We also love self-deprecating humour meaning we don’t take ourselves too seriously 😊

[@tonywalton1464]

Americans seem to have an "officially-sanctioned" form of this called "roasting", where a boss, politician or whatever deliberately stands up and is insulted. We do it all the time, pre-arranged "roasting" session or not.

[@richardbierman9856]

Are you extracting the urine?

[@markgibbins4143]

A battle of wits with an unarmed man is a personal favourite

[@miaschu8175]

Mine too.

[@phoenixfeathers4128]

For the “two sandwiches short of a picnic” we Germans sometimes say “einen Dachschaden haben” (to have a damaged roof) or “nicht mehr alle Tassen im Schrank haben” (you don’t have all your cups in your cupboard)

[@sualdammacsamildanach8154]

We also have 'an olive short of a pizza', 'not a full shilling', 'a card short of a full deck', 'not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree', 'not the sharpest knife in the drawer', and so on.

[@pturton8402]

two sheep short in the the top paddock

[@holly2786]

got a few screws loose

[@trish8765]

You are right about insulting family and friends, at least in the north of England. I grew up in a family where that type of banter flew between us daily. I have often said to people if I insult you I like you. I don't insult people I don't like because they are not worth me taking the time to think up a witty insult, I just don't speak to them.

[@paddymallory4080]

Spot on! I’m originally from Liverpool and my brother always answers my calls with ‘hello C@&t’

[@marybalding1435]

And London. When I worked with a group of men I got upset sometimes but was told if they didn’t like me they wouldn’t take the piss. It was true because I noticed they didn’t tease/insult a couple of blokes because they didn’t get on with them

[@Angusmum]

The first ever time we heard this saying was by Hylda Baker, an ex much loved northern England Music Hall star, who made the transition into 1950’s TV sit coms and films. She was short and plump and in one of these TV programmes she called her useless brother (Jimmy Jewel, another actor) “A big girl’s blouse”. It was a new turn of phrase and believe me, I’m old enough to remember that it was a new saying. We all started to use the phrase and it made it into the British vernacular. Hylda Baker, in her Music Hall days, famously had a “friend” called Cynthia in her stage act. This friend was actually a tall man dressed as a woman with a handbag that dangled from her hand and she never spoke. The comedy was that, visually Hylda was short and her friend was very tall. Hylda comically kept asking Cynthia to tell a funny story but always jumped in to tell the story before Cynthia could speak. At the end of the act Cynthia would slowly walk away and lovingly and admiringly, Hylda would look at her then turn to the audience and say, “She knows, you know.” Not so funny to read about but visually hilarious.

[@janeclarkson8471]

I remember and LOVED Hilda Baker. " I must get a little hand put on this watch" was another catch phrase of hers. I think she was extraordinary comedienne. It's very difficult for a woman to be visually funny and accepted. She was a trail blazer for its much more accepted today and we have some great female comics! Especially in sit-com! 👌👍🤗😊🤣😂🤣

[@sualdammacsamildanach8154]

@@janeclarkson8471 Ditto. She was really funny. Who can forget 'You knock-kneed knackered old nose-bag' (from Eli to Nellie)?

[@AB-ku4my]

Along with "What are we today, Gilbert? Oh, we're one of those are we?". You must be a tad older than me so respect to you.

[@Betty_Virago]

My dad used to say ‘she knows you know’ and now I know why, thanks

[@caroldaniels5505]

Awww the good old days 🤣🤣🤣

[@sarahjackson7116]

A lot of British humour is based on sarcasm!

[@johnritter6864]

Exemplified by the Blackadder comedy style

[@paddymallory4080]

I grew up in Liverpool and moved to Canada for a few years with work and the Canadians don’t get our ‘sarcastic humour’ and I managed to cause offence on more than one occasion😂 I’m in Dublin now and you can insult to your hearts content

[@siankinrade1994]

Someone my age (60s) might call your uncle "Bent as a 9 bob note". Means crooked, criminal, immoral. The expression refers to pre-decimal British currency which had a 10 shilling note, a shilling was also called 'a bob'.

[@barriehull7076]

Other meanings are also available.

[@sualdammacsamildanach8154]

@@barriehull7076 But that's not what the meaning is.

[@gwenscoble6229]

Or 'Bent as a 9 bob watch'.

[@lauracrothers8131]

We use that here in NI Sian but it has a different not very nice meaning.

[@sarumano884]

Always heard that as "Queer as a nine-bob note" in the days when 'queer' was interchangeable: homosexual or odd/strange.

[@Pwecko]

When my grandmother talked about a husband and wife she didn't like, she said she was glad they had married each other because "They'd spoil another couple".

[@paddymallory4080]

😂😂 my dear old mum used to say that regularly.

[@caroldaniels5505]

Love this one 🥳

[@Davespenathome]

Insulting friends and family is the national pastime. The deeper the burn the deeper the love. The one absolutely devastating insult we don't use for friends or family is the tut. There is no recovering from that and it cuts way too deep.

[@trevorbaynham8810]

The UK has just got some wintry weather - everything will stop in some areas if the snow looks any thicker than dandruff. For the Northern and Southern I chuckle when I see - (jokingly) in the South -warning there will be snow, stock up on everything, wrap up and stay indoors not risking going out keeping an eye on the news - Northerners - you'll need your big coat.

[@trevorlsheppard7906]

I think the big girls blouse is suggesting a man is a wimp because womens blouses are sometimes made of delicate , soft ,satin fabrics , it's usually used to a friend/mate semi seriously for a laugh/leg pull .

[@gbulmer]

Yes, wimp or softy. Where I come from big-girl means a BIG girl, busty. Girl has connotations of childish too. Soft, effeminate, (not masculine), maybe a bit childish, but not really about cowardice. Best Wishes. ☮

[@skechyassmofo]

I thought it was a reference to a child hiding behind their mother's skirt

[@trevorlsheppard7906]

@@skechyassmofo My experience of this saying is in UK it's the sort of thing male teenagers and young men would say to each other not entirely seriously, for a joke , football,Rugby players might say it to encourage someone to try harder .as in "Come on you big girls blouse"I dare say other people may use it in other contexts.

[@skechyassmofo]

@trevorlsheppard7906 I'm a 40 year old Englishman so I know what you mean, I just meant the root of the phrase origin, as opposed to it being a direct reference to the softness of the fabric. Hmmm Not something I've thought about, just had it said to me countless times at primary school lol.

[@trevorlsheppard7906]

@@skechyassmofo 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍❤️

[@manticore5733]

The first 'no oil painting' is also an historical reference to Anne of Cleaves, the wife of Henry VIII who didn't live up to the painting made of her. And picnics are something we often do yes... well, when it's warm... so not that often really.

[@michaelprobert4014]

Sitting in the car, at the beach front , watching the waves crash against the sea wall eating sandwiches and tea from a thermos...British picnic.

[@chrisaskin6144]

​@@michaelprobert4014 Whilst it's cold and wet outside the car.

[@Xmascactus1]

A few years ago we had a memorable picnic on top of Butser Hill (in Hampshire) in the snow.

[@Rhianalanthula]

Carpet picnjc

[@AB-ku4my]

@@michaelprobert4014 Peering through the rain on the windscreen. Ah, the memories.

[@dianelawanguavonrenamon8278]

The lights on but no ones home!

[@johnbiggscr]

As a kid we used to go on summer picnics by the canal all the time. Field next to an old church. Sitting under a huge oak tree. Watching my dad fish. waving to the people going past in the barges. Ah the innocence of youth.

[@janeclarkson8471]

What a lovely picture you create! I'd go back in a heartbeat 👌❤️🤗

[@lauracrothers8131]

Awww John, sounds like heaven.

[@qwadratix]

Got it in one. We Brits love to insult each other. It's generally all harmless fun and the more creatively funny the better, where in the US the intent behind an insult is real and designed to hurt and anger.

[@Bungle-UK]

“The lights are on but nobody’s home” indicating a lack of intelligence

[@webbsfan1]

How about "as bright as a 2 watt lightbulb"

[@diane64yorks]

There's also bungalow head, nothing upstairs

[@philiprowney]

Steve it's called 'Trench mentality'. We have been one of the war-ing-est nations on the planet in the past. We know how to be happy when we are being shot at. 1. Really dark humour. 2. calling all the people you trust really bad names to get them to laugh and call you something worse back. Much love Brother.

[@binkybuns462]

'a wave short of a shipwreck', 'a can short of a six pack', 'the lights on but no one's home', 'the lift doesn't go all the way to the top floor' to mention just a few. Banter is the British way of life and normally means you're liked, loved or accepted. The time to worry is when we stop. 😁

[@saintlyknight3186]

Two cards short of a full deck

[@Jayelle973]

Living brain donor

[@karenashworth5743]

Sixpence short of a shilling !

[@grumpyratt2163]

this maybe a family one but my Aunt use to say for someone who was a bit daft... As thick as Nan's gravy

[@Badgersj]

@@karenashworth5743 Or penny short of a pound!

[@angiedavies5530]

Your reactions to some of these made me chuckle 😂

[@judithhope8970]

We would never call someone with learning difficulties stupid or insult them in any way.

[@Badgersj]

Absolutely. Insults like that are aimed at people who should know better - yes, we can argue about that, but in my experience there's a great more acceptance to those with mental and physical disabilities here. Could be wrong, and it could be better, but it just seems that way to me.

[@sualdammacsamildanach8154]

That's part of a growing problem. People LOOK for reasons to find offence. It's getting to the point where even normal conversation is an utter minefield. Meanwhile, the rest of us can find humour in Python, Blackadder, Porridge, Fawlty Towers... and rue the fact that humour which gives you a belly laugh no longer exists.

[@ianfinney7820]

Why not?

[@judithhope8970]

@@ianfinney7820 I'm expected to explain this? You don't mock someone for something they can't change! Isn't it obvious?

[@ianfinney7820]

@judithhope8970 everybody is there to be mocked no matter their affliction. Its called 'taking the piss', 'having a laugh'. Shit happens. If people didn't take the piss, life would be very boring.

[@marisaJ1]

Yes, my family have picnics every summer. We don't get great weather for most of the year so having a picnic in the park where the kids get to run around too is a must when the weather is good.

[@pegaz6529]

One of the more favourite ones I still hear is "He's as tight as a cat's arse" meaning he won't spend money on anything unnecessary.

[@SeeDaRipper...]

'Tight as a gnats chuff'

[@panchomcsporran2083]

We used to say as tight as a ducks arse....which is water tight.

[@alisondodd9210]

Tight as a fishes arse!…

[@alisondodd9210]

If you put absolute before any word it can become an insult, eg absolute doorknob , absolute wellie, absolute bucket. As well as the usual absolute d**kh**d absolute w***a etc.

[@laurielovett8849]

Here in Ireland its " he's as tight as a ducks arse and that's watertight. " always amused me when a very precise ladylike friend of mine used it to describe s very mean person .

[@bellshooter]

We in UK definitely insult friends in a joshing way, really harder than real insults for others.

[@jamingaming9251]

We need to practice for when it's actually necessary.

[@pauldrummond225]

My favourites are 'I don't often forget a face but in your case I'm going to make an exeption' and 'Everybody has the right to be ugly but you abuse the priviledge.'

[@miaschu8175]

I'm imagining these being said in the voice and mannerisms of Les Dawson!

[@andalltheangelssay212]

“He doesn’t know his arse from his elbow.”

[@BIJOU167]

As useful as an ashtray on the back of a motorbike

[@rogerthomas7040]

Us Brits do all this type of banter all the time. A friend and I ended up working in the UK offices of a US bank (pre internet) and one of the yanks who had only been in the UK for a few weeks after hearing us talk between ourselves caught up with my friend and asked him how he could work with me as we seem to hate each other.

[@maxineallen5673]

not friends till you have insulted each other!

[@mycatspethooman5590]

My work colleague and I have a Really great banter and it helps us though the work day, I got her a classic today when she was reaching over to the other side of her desk almost laying across it, I walked up and said "my god the last time I saw something like that it had a saddle on it" after her initial shock we howled laughing, she gets me with just as bad banter. 😂😂😂

[@Badgersj]

As a horse lover, I'd have taken that as a compliment!

[@katrinashaw3174]

The lights are on but there's nobody home is a way of calling someone dumb

[@Mike-James]

Sandwich short of a picnic is one of my favourites

[@ShadowRec]

I always liked “a face like a bulldog licking piss off an electric fence”

[@GSD-hd1yh]

One saying for someone tight fisted is "First out of the taxi and last to the bar"

[@chele277]

Friends give out the worst insults but it's the best laugh and it's done with love

[@JulianDJacobs]

A couple of my favourites: As useful as a chocolate teapot As much use as an ashtray on a motorbike

[@barriehull7076]

The picnic is liable to be eaten in the car looking out to sea, in out of the rain. LOL

[@lindatilleym2058]

If someone being is stupid you say they are as thick as two short planks. My husband used to say to our kids, if they did something wrong, if you had a brain you would be dangerous. Love watching all you videos thanks for sharing❤️❤️

[@samanthab1923]

I hate to say my brothers & I were the recipient of the brain crack

[@chrissouthgate4554]

If Brains were Dynamite, you couldn't blow out a match.

[@louiseguy9844]

One of the ones I love is,' that's about as useful as a chocolate fireguard.'

[@stewedfishproductions7959]

"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer..." or "He's not playing with a full deck..."

[@DenisePeel]

Not the brightest button on the cardie, or the sharpest knife in the box.

[@TheTutu1000]

“You look like the back end of drey horse Ethel with her tail lifted”. That is one of my all time favourites

[@Bob10009]

A variation of the chewing a wasp one is “he’s got a face like a bulldog licking piss off stinging nettles”

[@sonofraven76]

Britain is a crowded island - we're a massively urban country and we mostly live very close to other people, so we've developed a culture of testing social boundaries with people very quickly so we know where we stand with them. Insults, banter, swearing, it's all part of this, where we're looking at the person's reaction while also giving them an expectation of us. We're looking for an equal reaction - someone who doesn't get mad for what we've said, and is willing to reciprocate, is a potential friend. Someone who does get mad, or doesn't join in, is putting up a barrier and you know where you stand. We can use such things in a bullying way, but even that is usually an attempt to show that you're expecting someone else to back down and let you have the social advantage, and if they don't back down and give as good as they get then that shows where you stand with them too. I've got to say most of these were really weak - no one really calls someone a softy (we can be a lot more inventive than that), 'big girl's blouse' is mainly said by old people these days, and the thing about bulldogs is mainly that someone has a sour face, not that they're generally ugly - it's the combination of the facial expression an English Bulldog already has, coupled with something (like chewing a wasp, or more likely 'licking piss off a nettle') that makes the expression even more sour.

[@terryoconnor5262]

“Dead behind the eyes” is also a good alternative 🤣👍

[@hesterwright3674]

Round here (midlands) I've only heard that used for someone with no soul, no empathy, like a psychopath type

[@matthallett9684]

Most of these are really tame in comparison to what we use 😳

[@drwoo6090]

I’m from Nottingham, and we use certain words within an insult, but it would be to friends!

[@darrellpowell6042]

12:07 Steve tries to justify NOT using insults and is clearly lying. He''ll use 'dead from the neck' up all his life now.

[@cartoonvandal]

The Brits are so much better with words than anyone else.

[@barriehull7076]

We gave them to others as well, not necessarily for free though.

[@Badgersj]

Keep up, keep up!

[@DMGamanda]

Thats actually true. They did a study (i know boring) and it looked at different countries and what were they known for. You know some countries known for tech, others art, wine etc. but if you look a lot of our big hitters are word based - literature and music (ie lyrics) etc. I thought interesting. Not sure if you really delved in how all of the country stereotypes would stack up but still interesting.

[@bustedfender]

Yes we am, much betterer.

[@Badgersj]

@@bustedfender 🤣

[@iangrimshaw1]

Picnics are definitely a big thing! People near the countryside go out into said countryside. People in big towns or cities go to local parks. From childhood I've gone to one at Markeaton Park in Derbyshire, just outside Derby and go there with my children and Grandchildren when we get together. There's quite a cultural mix and you have the lovely aromas of Asian families food (curries, samosas etc) as well as traditional English Pork Pies, sarnies, etc. Insults can be quite subtle. My mum used to say, "She's no better than she should be". or "She's all fur coat and no knickers." For a erm.. free spirited woman, shall we say. I knew what she meant but the sayings don't quite make sense when you think about them.

[@Badgersj]

And a "pork pie" is of course rhyming slang for lie

[@nickscott4389]

My favourite is ‘something tells me your oars aren’t drawing water’ !! 🤣🤯🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

[@bryandow2827]

"Big Girls Blouse" is popular in Scotland but a Scottish one would be " You big Jesse"

[@markperry5975]

My favourite for a bit crazy is, 'he's got a few loose toys in the attic '😂

[@andyp5899]

"Back end of a bus" comes from an earlier insult "back end of a mare's arse" Mares were used to pull omnibuses.

[@Blinky05]

My favourite one for calling someone stupid is "The wheel's turning, but the hamster's dead."

[@stevefaulkner9391]

In the British Royal Navy. You often hear 'If I had a black cat, he would have a panther called noir'. Meaning that if you have done or have something, that person has always done it/has something better.

[@lo1079]

I've heard 'like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle' too.

[@matthewwalker5430]

I guess having "a face like a bulldog chewing on a wasp" can mean calling someone ugly but I've never really used it that way. It's more a quirky expression to say to someone who is pulling a miserable face. A little bit like saying "why the long face?"

[@lo1079]

Yeah that's how I think of it and use it. Like when I worked in a supermarket and had miserable or angry faced customers.

[@rebbell308]

yep most insults are for family and friends, cause they give as good as they get. My mum a good Yorkshire lass always said " I don't like them enough to insult them". one of my favourites "his lift doesn't go all the way to the top". " few bricks short of a building" from down south. " back of a bus" buses are flat at the back so no features or Just plane and the exhaust comes out the back. The lights out one is popular. Dumb as a box of rocks. But absolute favorited one is "about as useful as a fart in a bottle"

[@robertwoolstencroft5946]

when I was a very young apprentice in an engineering works when I got to work on monday morning after a good weekend in the clubs ,I was told my eyes looked like piss holes in the snow.

[@thegreenmanofnorwich]

Bulldog licking piss off a nettle is a regional variation of bulldog chewing a wasp. "The face that sank a thousand ships" was a favourite of my dad's

[@Neenie1976]

In my house we insult each other constantly just to see who can give the worst insult. We Brits love coming up with creative ways to insult people

[@juliem6587]

Mad as a box of frogs and enough to make a maggot gag are my favourite insults.

[@helenwood8482]

Yank is affectionate. If we mean it offensively, we say septic (rhyming slang, septic tank, Yank)

[@stevehaddon151]

Nah call em squatters

[@Griff942]

I'm sorry to say that Rhyming Slang for an American is Septic Tank (Yank). Enjoying the videos.

[@larryfroot]

A good insult punches up or even sideways. The moment it punches down it stops being banter and starts being bullying. I once heard a Devon lady tell a young chav "the best part of 'ee dribbled down yer mothers leg" which was as creative as it was savage. Unforgettable.

[@chadhanna]

"had a face like the North end of a cow going South" was one of my father's favourite ways of saying 'ugly'.

[@StevanOvich61]

Absolutely correct. The things we call friends and family. What I say to and call my wife, and the same the other way around, would shock you.. But been together for 36 years! A good one to say is 'They have never been bothered by the inconvenience of reality'... If they seem a little stupid.

[@donnaecroyd2473]

Just like me and my husband . In fact my 3 adult sons as well . We often say if anyone is listening they would think we hated each other .😂 But there's loads of love .

[@victormuckleston]

the art of diplomacy, telling someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

[@CW1971]

I usually say 'A face like a slapped arse' 😂

[@joeblogger5687]

"A lovely face for the radio". 😂😂😂😂

[@RZ-np2wv]

Banter and playfully insulting friends works because it suggests trust. The person insulting trusts that the recipient knows it's in jest and the recipient trusts that it is meant that way. You can't do that in the same way with people you don't know well. I think two phrases that have been around a very long time and that I've heard many thousands of times are "looks like the back end of a bus" and "a big girl's blouse". My partner, she will sometimes say, "Don't be such a big girl's blouse" to me if I'm feeling the cold or something.

[@janeclarkson8471]

We sometimes say "He's got his banter worked out", meaning he's well rehearsed!

[@maryandrews4097]

I think the significant word in "a big girl's blouse" is big. This conjures up a vision of a hefty lass with a large and somewhat amorphous bosom covered by a capacious blouse, which, when removed, looks limp and deflated. My father was not likely to indulge in insulting banter, but you could always tell if he was out of sympathy with a person by the fact that he treated them with the most scrupulous politeness.

[@DJ_Sycottic]

A face like a slate layers nail bag, is one of my favourites.

[@matthallett9684]

or a face like a bag of spanners.... or a face like a bucket of smashed crabs.... or a face like a dropped lasagne

[@jamesdignanmusic2765]

There are a load of variations on "two sandwiched short of a picnic". Here in New Zealand, "kangaroos loose in the top paddock" is pretty common. And you're right - it's all in the intention and reception. If you're intending it to be insulting, it's different to if you're just having some banter... but a lot of it is how it's received as well. And yes, that "insults as friendly greetings" is very much a British - and Australian and New Zealand - thing.

[@nathanmelton3967]

My favourite one is have you got a pen then do you want to get back in it

[@helenagreenwood2305]

Me and my best mate insult each other every time we're together 😆 it's how we communicate 😆

[@phillbanks4103]

Insulting a family member is a sign of love well most of the time

[@DMGamanda]

If you dont like someone you are overly polite. 😂 but generally insults is banter and these are pretty mild. And it is all the time amongst friends. I think saying insults in a way is misleading in that really its banter which is harmless ‘insults’.

[@stevehaddon151]

Haha fucking nailed it, if someones nice get ready for violence 🤣

[@gazinessex2]

Creative and very tame.

[@lalunacee9168]

Maybe check out Yorkshire Peach. She's an amazing lady from America now living in Yorkshire. Sharing the differences. She talks about getting used to being insulted here .

[@UranusMcVitieFish-yd7oq]

"Face like a slapped arse." Someone who's expression shows incredulous surprise.

[@alanleys]

That 'northern - southern' one bud, is meant worse than you think. Dodge that one. ;-) Also, softy can be swapped out for 'fairy'.

[@fionamclaren8506]

'Not got the full shilling' or needing your 'bumps felt' - similar to a sandwich short of a picnic.

[@Boogledigs]

My brother was not a good looking baby. My mother knew it. A nurse asked if she could take the baby to have his photo taken. Mum was overjoyed. The nurse said to my brother, "Come on you, you with the face like the back of a bus." My mum was heartbroken.

[@maureencree397]

Big girls blouse was a catch phrase of British comedienne Hylda Baker. Yes, we DO go on picnics, often!

[@The_Butler_Did_It]

A favourite term for ugly around where I live is "He/she has a face like a bag full of spanners" ....and the border between north and south is quite a bit further north than Birmingham. It is generally understood to be the River Trent. North of the Trent is "The North" and south of The Trent is "The South"

[@richardseed8253]

The midlands starts north of a line drawn from the Bristol channel to the Wash.

[@The_Butler_Did_It]

@@richardseed8253 Indeed. The country can be broken down into many regions, East Midlands, West Midlands, East of England, North East and so on but the specific point was about where the dividing line is between the North and the South.

[@AB-ku4my]

@@richardseed8253 Unless you think London is the centre of the universe, then the North starts at the Watford Gap.

[@cathygee5733]

Absolutely right mate. We insult each other as a form of affection. We adore people who take the mick out of themselves and others.

[@sharonbunn2363]

People in the U.S. just seem to be more easily offended, in fact they seem to find offence in anything and everything!

[@sualdammacsamildanach8154]

It's getting like that in the UK. So humour is dying.

[@Doug791]

"You've got a face like the north end of a southbound cow". I heard this yelled at someone in a pub about 20yrs ago. I've since used it a few times myself.

[@SteveParkes-Sparko]

As someone else has said below, "You big girl's blouse" was invented by '70s comedienne Hylda Baker, who was a short, plain, but very spirited and funny woman - and it rapidly caught on with the British public and became a common thing for people to say. I always imagined a very full, voluminous blouse with not much filling the inside of it, so perhaps it was a reference to someone being "all hot air" and no substance..? Ineffective? The opposite of a strong, well-muscled man? Just an empty, voluminous blouse..? That's how I always thought of it.

[@gbulmer]

You are probably quite young. _Hylda Baker_ had her own TV show in the early 60s, but started in TV in the '50s. You might be remembering "Nearest and Dearest" where she ran a pickle factory with her brother. A big girl's blouse is filled. The girl is big, maybe even overweight. _"Opposite of masculine"_ is closer. "Girl" has connotations of childish. It's not about cowardice, the video is wrong. Best Wishes. ☮ *Edit: the script writers are credited with the phrase, not Hylda Baker*

[@miaschu8175]

Whatever the origin, most people don't know that now and it definitely has negative connotations towards girls and women, whilst also putting down a boy or man. I think that Hylda Baker was brilliant, as a pioneering comedienne, but her phrase needs to be scrapped now.

[@judithcole5996]

" A face made for radio" is a good one!

[@geoffpoole483]

"Fifty pence short of a pound"; "Not the full shilling". Both mean someone isn't very bright. There's a tale about a US serviceman and his observations of the British. One of the things he noted was "They show affection by hurling abuse at each other".

[@Hoscitt]

My favourite 'he has a bladder like a mouse's purse' 😄