American Reacts to Why The Dutch Are So Direct (They Say What They Mean)

original - - • Why the Dutch always s...
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[@TheXshot]

I'm Dutch, but living in Poland. Honestly, Dutch directness also helps with mental health. Never having to wonder what someone means, because they'll tell the truth to your face. I appreciate it

[@marcnobel3938]

I moved from Germany to the Netherlands - and It is not really different to what I was used to in Germany. I like when people just tell me directly what is up. Nothing to wonder or think about later.I am from the 70th and it was just normal back in the days to be direct. Today it is changing in Germany sadly. Now I am mostly too direct for people that are a bit younger than me, but I will not change anymore. I had people start crying when you tell them to their face what you don`t like. Grown people. - Here in Limburg not a Problem at all. 😀

[@JPvids1]

Hey mooi mannen

[@JPvids1]

Ik ben ook Nederlands

[@baronvonlimbourgh1716]

Yeah, why make it mysterious.

[@katie98711]

As a Polish person myself I must say that polish people are usually as direct as Dutch people, it was hard for me in the UK (I lived there for a year). If you do not speak polish you might not notice it that much because we are taught english with british rules :D But there is no fake "im doing fine" over here as well!

[@helischorsch9786]

As a southern German, exactly a Bavarian from Munich, I still remember my first business meeting in Nijmegen (Netherlands) and the Dutch customer was telling me that our devices are rubbish in the first minute…wow I was shocked 😳, but it skipped any smalltalk and brought us to the point! Next meeting I knew what to expect and never had any problems with our neighbors 👍 cheers from Munich, Sven🍺

[@mrb4461]

yes, we are straight to the point🤣

[@DrakoDragoonz]

Cheers to you to neighbor

[@raoulv]

Yeah that's our directness, but we mean it in a good way, from there on we can both progress faster together and be critical on what to do next.😅

[@kurtik9309]

An English colleague once told me that. The Germans are too honest to be polite. The English are too polite to be honest.

[@SensitivityGames]

ey its better tobe direct and know what your on than having 10 meetings and you are still smelling roses.

[@Dutch1961]

FYI: Dutch politicians don't share that directness. They are trained to use a lot of words without answering your question. Even if they're asked a closed question they will start an entire story and at the end of it you haven't got a clue of what they were saying.

[@Darkraver777]

This is so true!

[@FO4R111]

Welcome to earth

[@MelfvA]

American politicians are not different.

[@johannesdekoning3765]

They unlearned this Dutch habit in order to become politicians. I think there's even a test to make sure 👀

[@Njuregen]

politician like lawyers share many traits.

[@baskoning9896]

I think its a form of respect. We value each others and our own time, so we communicate truthful, and to the point. Its almost perfectly synonym to 'efficient'.

[@XenonArcher]

i agree. id also call "british politeness" a form of respect. though not always. you can kinda use it to sorta talk to people without actually talking to them if that makes sense. you can just go on autopilot almost lol.

[@miavandermeer77]

Dutchie agreeing here! All the polite bullshit is respectles to my time and intelligence and I value and assume anyone else's mind and time is just as valuable to them as it is to me.

[@fritskroon9285]

​@@miavandermeer77this is it indeed. Do not waste my time be open and direct and after we can go fore a drink. Verspil mijn tijd en je eigen tijd niet. Tijd verspillen is waardeloos en irritant

[@bartvarthoulis3487]

I am Polish, raised in Greece, with 20 years of experience with tourists+ I've been to a few places in Europe. I have to say that for me the Dutch are probably the most openminded and polite people, while simultaneously maintaining integrity in their social behaviour and manners. Love u guys! 🇳🇱❤

[@stefaniaponitz5738]

thanks so much :D

[@KootFloris]

thanks!!

[@cfjooijevaar1]

Yeah, that's the kind of Dutch tourists that visit Greece!!! On Mallorca that is totally different!

[@dimrrider9133]

As a greenhousebuilder i have a lot of Polish friends and they are the same as we are and i love em all

[@basdebruin2355]

I am Dutch and worked for some years for a NATO organization in the UK. Not everybody was amused by being sound an clear. Nice example was with one of our transmitters, there was a ‘blind area’ in a direction, if a ship was in that direction they couldn’t see our transmission. We warned extensively for that. The complaint came direct to me that some ship didn’t saw our signal. During debrief the CO of that ship was upset because his ship was at the wrong place and made me responsible. I just asked him: ‘we’re you in my blind arc’? He said yes. I just told him I wasn’t amused that he tried to throw their mistake into my basket. Then I was ‘just a chief’. He was quite upset that he was told off by a lower ranked Dutch chief. He wanted me to tell him that I addressed his problem and see it didn’t happened again. My answer… all due respect commander, I don’t think so. It wasn’t my fault we heard a lot of sniggering from others around. It might be received by him as blunt, I call it clear and straight forward.

[@gardenjoy5223]

Stand your ground, Bas. We don't like bullies. And people trying to blame others for their mistakes, are the utmost bullies! Down, boy, down! You're not worth more, but worth a lot less, if you have to practice dishonesty. Glad you didn't bow down to the incompetent dishonest 'thing'. And I say 'thing' with 'all due respect' (meaning: none whatsoever!) Can't comprehend how people live their lives in such a bubble of stupidity and being fake.

[@JoshSweetvale]

Lying is lying, and it's never in the common good. There's a reason they're called *white* lies. Smallpox blankets. Beads for New York. The Irish genocide. Slavery. Gerrymandering.

[@Leviwosc]

Even je tekst doorlezen voordat je deze plaatst. Je tekst is moeilijk te volgen, want je gaat van de hak op de tak.

[@dimrrider9133]

working for a bunch of criminals can get you in trouble with that lol

[@zoestdijk]

Proud being Dutch.

[@norbertschrank3331]

I had the opportunity to collaborate with Dutch people in several projects. Skilled, always focused on the topic, but also relexed and open for fun. Great colleagues!

[@marcusfranconium3392]

Even when having difference of opinion during working hrs . after working hrs you go out for drinks and all is forgotten . work and social life mentality are strictly seperated .

[@marcusfranconium3392]

As dutch man i worked with a group of japanese to set up a construction line . the brits told the japanese the dutch where dificult to work with as we where blunt and rude .and they told us that the japanese where dificult to work with due to planning and scedules time tables etc . And yet this is what is apreciated by both the japanese and dutch .. Honousty and straight forwardnes and working with scedules . if something took longer due to some isues we came across we made sure they knew it with in 5 minutes and adapted their planning , also when projects where ahead of time during the day we reported it and again it was adapted to the new situation . the only ones having trouble the brits and americans working on the same project not reporting isues in time or ordering parts to late . Hmm yeah that pissed of both dutch and japanese .

[@-_YouMayFind_-]

maybe that is why the Japanese and the Dutch were one of the first that traded back in history, who knows haha. You are right. I love to plan things and being honest/direct. This makes things so much more clear and maybe you will not have miscommunication as much as I would assume would happen when things aren't scheduled right or when people are not clear about the real meaning of what they say. It can create confusion and miscommunication.

[@sjors9110]

Hahahaha very nice

[@chrisrootnick4438]

@@-_YouMayFind_- Nope. The reason for that is the Dutch did not try to convert the Japanese into Christians. They wanted to do business and what god you believe in they couldn't care less about. Meanwhile the British (and other European nations) brought missionaries , tried (and succeeded) to put Christianity on the map up to the point it became too troublesome for the Japanese Emperor making him kick out the Westerners and flat out forbid Christianity on Japanese soil.

[@remconoordermeer7015]

The Dutch consensus culture (and the directness needed for it) was literally lifesaving. When living in a country that lies around sea level (now underneath it), you and your neighbors all had to dispose of their water. You needed to work together as your left neighbor depended on you to accept that flow of water, just as you depended on your other neighbor to get rid of your own water. You may not have liked dealing with those neighbors but it was a necessity. As elements like water can become very dangerous very fast, you all needed to be quick on your feet (sometimes literally) to deal with fickle weather conditions. This required fast, concise, direct communication.

[@-_YouMayFind_-]

@@chrisrootnick4438 i know it was already explained xD

[@fnnpc746]

This is the biggest reason why I love the dutch. They are no bs people. Straight to the point and honest. I really want to move there in the future. Learning their language right now. I think the dutch are one of the most friendly people out there. Every time i come there i instantly feel like home. Everyone is greeting you. I've never experienced anything like it in any other country. And i've been in some. My dad was once in the netherlands on a trip but didn't find a place to sleep. There was one family which offered him a to stay the night at their home to sleep. And they wanted nothing in exchange. They even let him eat with them and take a shower. Also their festivals are amazing. You should check out the Defqon 22 end show.

[@ronaldderooij1774]

The Finns and the Germans are also quite direct. It is not only the Dutch.

[@fnnpc746]

@@ronaldderooij1774 yes definitely I've lived in Germany and speak fluently German. Both my parents are German. So we are very similar. The Finns are also very direct I live in Sweden right now and we have a lot of finns here.

[@Snaakie83]

Haha, nice...DefQon... Yeah, been there 4 times ('03/'04/'15/'16) and after visiting about 350 festivals over the past 20 years they all rank high on my favorites list. Not sure if it's musically his cup of tea, but the show is always awesome. It's the organization's (€1,5 million, 3day) thank you to the festival goers on the busiest (satur)day...with 80.000 visitors on site. I all fairness, we're not extremely well known for our welcoming nature... we're often kinda on ourselves and preserved so you're father must have had luck.

[@fnnpc746]

@@Snaakie83 I'm going the second time this year hopefully also intents or decibel. And yeah maybe he was lucky I don't know I can just share his experience. I have always felt really welcome every summer I have went there.

[@elgatoloco727]

My girlfriend and I went to Amsterdam by car for New Year's Eve almost twenty years ago. When we wanted to drive back around three o'clock in the morning, the car wouldn't start. Since I did not find a sober person, I approached someone who went with his dog. A super friendly person who took us to his place where there was a party going on. Everyone greeted us warmly and told us not to worry. We could join the party and then sleep there. And the other day we look after the car. But we had to go back home because our cat was alone. So he got us a breakdown service that fixed our car for free. Rarely have I met so many friendly people. I am still grateful to the people today.

[@cerogola]

Same in germany 😂. Recently I heard: „germans are too honest to be polite. Brits (and americans) are too polite to be honest“

[@mariadebake5483]

Well I know that saying too, but with the Dutch instead of the Germans

[@gardenjoy5223]

Live in Germany for over a decade now. Germans are extremely inefficient (can give you SO many examples of that) and many of them are truly unkind: they lie and slander! We currently live in Westphalia, but that name doesn't fit. We call it UIM in German. The land of the unjust, incompetent and power abusers (machtsmisbruikers, Machtsmissbraucher). Yes, it's really That Bad. Germans are not honest. Just selfish and mean. And we're not the only ones saying that. Heck, even Germans complain about it. There are exceptions though.

[@lexburen5932]

bang on " brits and americans are to polite to be honest " pretty much sums it up right here

[@Whateverdude970]

Brits and deffo Americans are fake polite. They don't mean anything of the wordsalade that leaves their mouths. I always keep them at a distance. Don't trust them at all.

[@SmetMan.Amsterdam]

Love the way Americans are offended by our service culture. We don’t have a service culture. We let you do your own thing. Need someting? Ask…… we will not bother your if you di not ask 🤷‍♂️

[@Glittertrut]

As a Dutch person who is on the autism spectrum I am so glad that we are straight forward with what we mean. It is already hard enough for me to sometimes understand what people expect from me, so If I'm told clear that is less of a stress factor

[@BarbaraWijbenga]

Ik dacht precies hetzelfde net! Ik heb Asperger.

[@Glittertrut]

@@BarbaraWijbenga ja ik ook, hoogfuctionerende stille type. mensen merken het vaak niet aan mij. Maar binnen in 't koppie is het soms pure chaos

[@skabuoy]

@@BarbaraWijbenga Hier nog een. Al mag ik het geen Asperger noemen omdat dat niet langer een 'individuele' conditie is. Nu ben ik gewoon autist, maar wel een met een hoog IQ. Ik krijg overigens met enige regelmaat te horen dat ik iets minder direct mag zijn. Die stomme Nederlanders kunnen niets meer hebben tegenwoordig... ;-)

[@DenUitvreter]

What the British miss here (as usual) is that the Netherlands is much more unlike Britain than they assume and has been for centuries. The Netherland is and has been much more equal and egalitarian, peasants have been discussing water management with nobles and merchant for ages. A lot of the British politeness is about not being inclusive, to identify people as lower class because they don't understand the complicated social rules and polite ways of conversation. The British middle and lower class have adapted to the upper class complex rules, the Dutch upper class was sidelined by the merchants, often from humble beginnings and the peasants. Don't forget the Pilgrim Fathers didn't flee England directly, first they went to the Dutch Republic with it's religious tolerance but they fled the religious freedom there, they were worried about the influence of the Dutch sexual morale on their children (this was nothing wild, just that sexual joy was fine within marriage and public display of affection was allowed for courples and fiancees). The British and the Americans are the exception here, they are the prudes. Germany, France, Scandinavia, are much more like the Dutch than like the British and the Americans.

[@TheTekknician]

You may want to refer to "Scandinavia" as the Nordic countries, in that way you'll actually include them all.

[@cmcmanus1974]

Being Scottish myself, living there for 30 years and now living in the Netherlands for 17 years i don't relate to anything you just said, maybe you mean the English when you say British but the culture shock coming here from Scotland was very minimal and the Dutch are no more direct than the Scottish are.

[@DenUitvreter]

@@cmcmanus1974 I'm well aware of the distinction but one of the B's in BBC stands for British. My point was that they missed the class angle because they assume a similar development towards a more equal society, while the language goes back to a time with far greater differences between the countries in that respect. I don't see what his has got to do with your personal experience.

[@wizardflaps]

@@DenUitvreter Are you available for birthday parties?

[@joostvanderzande3252]

😊

[@annypenny8621]

I’m relieved that we Germans are not the only ones who are direct and considered as rude 😅… we‘re in good company…😉

[@FacelessJanus]

LOL, I had a few Germans telling me I was waaayyyy too direct. (being Dutch) So, if a German thinks I am too direct well..... But love Germans in general, good people, nice culture.

[@-_YouMayFind_-]

@@FacelessJanus I think it also depends on the person. I do see differences between people here in The Netherland to how direct someone really is. I am direct, but not rude. You can still be rude while direct. It depends what people see as rude but I do not hurt someones feelings. I would not say to someone:"what you are wearing is ugly" or "I don't like your haircut". It's also because my opinion doesn't really matter in the end so why even bother. I will only say something if I really want to achieve something with saying it. I also think there might be a slight difference between men and woman on that topic. I am a woman and I do not like to talk about someone appearance, maybe because I was bullied myself. I know what words can do to someone so that's why I am way more careful about what I am saying to someone. I think to myself: "If I have nothing positive to say. I better not talk in the first place". That's the politeness that I have learned by being bullied. Sure sometimes negative things need to be said, but only if it's necessary.

[@annypenny8621]

@@-_YouMayFind_- we have a proverb here In Germany and literally translated it means: talking is silver, silence is gold…

[@Coltsmith101]

@@FacelessJanuswell depends where in germany theyre from. Berliners and Ruhrpott people are very direct, southern Germans not so much

[@arturobianco848]

At least you gemanes are polite about it if you compaire it to the dutch way. But yeah i never have a problem with knowing what a Germane wants odr soesn't want.

[@nielsen9691]

The Dutch are great. Always felt close to them as a Dane. Wonderfull place without doubt 🇳🇱🇩🇰

[@storyclips]

Same 😊👍🏻 greets from the Netherlands 🇳🇱

[@YG-hx2pw]

@@storyclips he is lying, we dont you

[@JeeGee114]

Both rude and drive like maniacs.

[@storyclips]

@Marinus Antonius not me I am a great driver..never have a speeding ticket😊

[@ceesvanderschoot9799]

I,m Dutch and my father in law is Danish 👍

[@panamafloyd1469]

I have a friend in my old Corner Marshal crew from Holland. Before he married an American girl and moved here 10yrs ago, we'd see him three times a year. Daytona 24hrs, Sebring 12hrs, and Petit LeMans (Road Atlanta 10hrs). One year here in Atlanta, my friends told the story of how they ended up drinking in some biker bar (I had to miss Daytona that year). Evidently, our Dutch friend told one guy he was being too loud and scaring the women. I turned to him and said, "Well, Arjen - how did that work out for you?" He said (perfectly deadpan), "I saw my first handgun. They're smaller than they are in the movies." 🤣

[@jurrienvanrooy7469]

Hahahaha, that’s quite the Dutch move. It reminds me of the time my mom walked up to a group of football hooligans whom had been yelling loudly in the train we were riding. I was around eight years old. My mom walked straight up to ‘em and told them they scared me and if they could be quiet. And well, they just accepted it, calmed down and that was that. Football hooligans aren’t bikers, but my mom did the same thing with a bunch of Hells Angels whom had been terrorizing a client of her (psychiatric care). And yet again, they just listened to her 🤣

[@panamafloyd1469]

@@jurrienvanrooy7469 I don't know if you've seen it yet, but here's a fun story (without spoliers). In the 'Ted Lasso" TV series, there's a Dutch player on the fictional football team in the show. It''s a running joke that "..he's not rude - he's just Dutch!" First time I heard it, I nearly fell over in my chair because I was laughing so hard. As for Arjen, he's picked up the habit of turning to us and just asking, "Is my wife being sarcastic?" She's a marshal, too, they're so much fun - and so good at it - that people beg the Specialty Chief to be assigned to their corner station. Add me to the list of folks who find it refreshing! I grew up in the Southern US, we're almost as bad as the Japanese about avoiding difficult topics.

[@anaguq4651]

@@jurrienvanrooy7469 I gues it's actualy not whát she sad, but hów she said it looking at them! I can picture her! To me it looks like i'm looking in my own mirror. My green eyes can be black at times! I'm 1.56m 🤣🤣🤣

[@dimrrider9133]

@@jurrienvanrooy7469 Hooligans have respect for woman and children same as Bikers do :)

[@Moros-tw6uc]

When I was visiting a candystore in Austin Texas.. Me and my friend (both Dutch) had a conversation with the shop owner. But since we planned on going to a steakhouse (recomended by the shopkeeper himself) and didn't want to bring around candy with us for the rest of the day, we told the man 'We are going now but we will probably be back after eating.' When we returned, like we said, the shopkeeper was surprised and gave as a bunch of free candy for actually coming back. nice guy. candy was good.

[@co7013]

When my father was on a boat to the U.S.he met a lot of people who said "drop by when you are in the area". And so he did. He travelled all over the U.S. and spend time at peoples homes. Only afterwards did he realise that they probably where not expecting him to take them up on their word. But nobody said anything. They were too polite for that!

[@Quay073]

This is awesome

[@Siemdj1]

Haha just realize that a colleague from New York this also told me some day. Never realized it’s just to be polite 😅 haha

[@bobosims1848]

I wonder why one would do such a thing. I would consider it rude, because it leaves false expectations that you might welcome them if they actually took you up on your offer. I would never invite anyone to look me up, if I didn't REALLY want to see them again.

[@co7013]

@@bobosims1848 I guess for many people it's just an expression.

[@oakld]

I'm not Dutch, but when I was in the US, I couldn't resist to answer to question "How are you doing?" with actually describing how I am doing. Even though I knew it's not meant literally, it felt wrong not to aswer it properly. Because if you ask anyone in Europe (continental), he would start to describe his troubles and happy moments that lately happened in his life. But the person could have been gone by the time I opened my mounth to answer. Because it really means "Hi". Took me quite some time to learn answering just "Thanks, fine, and you?" :-D :-D :-D

[@XenonArcher]

usually we (UK) just ask "how's your day" or something and the usual reply is something like "not bad, yours?" it is kinda dumb cus neither person wants to hear about the others day when they ask that xD

[@silviahannak3213]

Yeah it must be very confusing for us Europeans cause if there is a Question. We take it as a Question. I would answer: I don't know you, why are you asking me or just saying..i am ok thanks and you.

[@oakld]

@@XenonArcher It's OK and kind of nice, when one takes it as a way of greeting. It's just sooo confusing for, before one get used to it :-).

[@dutchgamer842]

You do know in Dutch "Hoe is het? / Hoe gaat het?" isn't a genius question either, only at a doctor or if you already know someone isn't doing so great.

[@-_YouMayFind_-]

Yes exactly haha I have the seem thing and I am Dutch hahaha, we don't ask that unless we are really curious to how somebody feels or if there is any reason to ask that question.

[@MYoung-mq2by]

I strongly suspect that the haircut comment was meant as a joke. Typical Dutch humour among guys especially. Foreigners take it seriously because they don't expect it, but also because it fits in with the stereotype of the Dutch being rude. I've been living and working in NL for 32 years now. I definitely recognise a comment like that. What to do? Give as good as you get, with humour! A smile, a laugh, and just lightness, goes a loooooong way.

[@jurrienvanrooy7469]

I’m quite sure it was meant as a joke, yeah.

[@JC130676]

Most definitely a joke. The Dutch like to dish it out because we certainly won't be offended to receive a reply in kind. For example, if someone made that hair comment to me I'd have replied: "Yeah, but my hair will grow back. What are you gonna do about your face?"

[@sjors9110]

Sarcasm typical Dutch

[@Thunder1976NL]

Another Dutch way to comment on a haircut is: when are they going to finish it? It is a joke and mainly just between guys. Just normal banter, that is not limited between friends but also present in the workplace.

[@mariadebake5483]

To be honest, I don't think it was meant as a joke

[@astraeetje5048]

I really enjoyed your reaction. Greetings from the Netherlands 🇳🇱 Now you know it's sincere 😂

[@JPvids1]

Hey I’m Dutch too

[@JPvids1]

Het is geweldig hier niet waar?

[@Terji]

Im from a nordic country (also very direct cultures) and ive been talking to my canadian friend about this exact subject quite a bit recently. I think the indirect british/american language comes from a culture of classism where you take care in how you appear to other people and where if you speak directly or rudely to someone that sort of implies that they are lower class while if you speak indirectly or politely or say the 'nice' thing then you are showing them a form of respect thats saying 'i dont see you as lower class'. Personally i see honesty as the highest form of respect you can give a person. Its a lot harder to be honest with someone, specially if you have to tell them something negative, so doing it anyway despite that difficulty and putting yourself socially on the line for them to be honest and open with them at the risk of maybe offending them really shows that you are doing your all to build a trusting and meaningful relationship with that person. I see indirect language as selfishly driven to protect your own comfort and appearance, and direct language as selfless with sacrificing your comfort and risking conflict in order to build a more deep relationship with people and to deliver a direct and honest message. Im obviously very biased in my views but i just cannot understand how indirect language could be better. I guess maybe it makes small talk flow better? maybe

[@DenUitvreter]

That was my take too. All that mind reading and complex beating around the bush is something you have to be raised with to truly master, so the upper class can identify the peasants by their manners easily and exclude them. Anyone can learn straigth forward rules of politeness, so they lack that purpose, the complexity of communication is wanted. The British tend to overlook how classist they are and have been, and how equal the Netherlands has been for centuries. They ar looking for the common ground, protestantism, but that's actually not a common ground, and they feel to see the immense difference in the historical structure of the societies.

[@arturobianco848]

It defently has something to do with class/status difference. i observed it meself that people tend to be less direct and bascly less honest the more status/class contious that society is. I got 2 theory's about why that is so, 1 not giving insult, if people really have power over you then you don't want to insult them. So being dishonestly polite is beeing seen as an upperclas thing. 2 The Bs chitchat for an hour before coming to the point can only been done by people who actualy have the money to do an hour of nothingness. Again Bs-ing is associated with wealth and power. So if everybody thinks you are only cultured and being a seriuos figuur if you bs be overly polite and talk to much over instead of coming to the point people will start to operate on that modus operandus. The dutch or better the Hollanders have had a very incusive society for hundreds of years witch was very succesful so we figured out being direct is the way to go.

[@DenUitvreter]

@@arturobianco848 The Netherlands and to a lesser degree Flanders are the product of rebellion, ordinary people not letting themselves be boss around by nobles. No matter the upward social and mainly financial mobility and some kind of class redevelopping from it, ordinary people have jobs that don't allow for politeness and beating around the bush because there is danger and there is instruction. Traders can't let eachother guess about the deal either, and with people speaking different languages (natively) the first that gets skipped is the politeness and other complexities.

[@gardenjoy5223]

And how I detest small talk! Really had to invest in learning that nonsense. Because we Dutch have one idiotic trait, and that's how we celebrate birthdays. We sit together and bore ourselves for hours, pretending to have a good time. Exhausting. I am obliged to speak nicely to the person I sit next to, even if I didn't choose that person. I might not even like him. But still am forced to hear him talk about his horrid children. We really could do without that!

[@bflamable]

I am a dutch direct open person! When I was in Manhattan, NY my fellow travelers thought I was 'playing' with doormen .. 'greeters' at the doors from bigger stores, because when they held the door open for me and said: "Hi ,how are you doin ?"(NY so the G is not spoken! LoL) I stopped, smiled and said: Oh! Well I am fine thanks, and you ? Most doormen looked at me funny 😆 I am glad that a few did reply! Nice. It wasn't my intention to "play" with them .. I am so simple, it is normal for me to reply .. because if you don't want to know how I am doinn .. you wouldn't ask .. well anyway .. in my world of thinking! And if you want to say 'Hi' .. say Hi. Or welcome ... I know it is "the american way" .. and I knew why they greeted like that, but I decided to take and make it positive and fun! Hope the doormen liked it too 🙃

[@mho2309]

same in Germany. Being direct doesn't mean being rude. I love the Dutch and the German way of speaking. Straight to the point is spot on. Don't waste my time, buddy, by being polite and beating around the bush

[@Roozyj]

Maybe it's a germanic thing, because from what I've heard about Scandinacia and Iceland, it also resonates there :P I mean, English is officially a Germanic language too, but we all know it's really just three languages in a Germanic trench coat.

[@MonarNL]

Exactly that bro. Also what is rudeness really? If people in the US only smile to each other and say nice things but none of it is sincere, to me that is really rude. As they will say you're amazing in your face and 2 seconds later curse you in your back. Yeahh I totally prefer our way 🤣

[@manuelavandenakker4342]

or be polite and straight to the point. We dutch can (and usually will) do that too 💪😊

[@SandsOfArrakis]

About the hair dresser... We'll generally ask when the barber will finish the job. 😅

[@juliettestofmeel]

😂

[@Warentester]

Dancing around stuff can be straight up toxic. I see how much my British wife's family struggles just to come to a decision as nobody ever gives a straight answer. It's tiring, it causes doubt and it leaves room for a lot of passive aggressiveness.

[@inokruysen649]

exactly my thoughts about it !

[@stefaniaponitz5738]

Exactly that!

[@lena96969]

I am dutch, I never knew about this but I do actually think this is indeed true and something I do myself. I always try to come across as polite as possible, but plain-out lying to seem polite is something I definitely view as rude. Because the person you are talking to will always take you seriously, and if they realize you don't mean your words that means you don't trust them.

[@nordwestbeiwest1899]

The Dutch , Germans and Scandinavians are very direct and honest . This saves time and misunderstandings. Why do you think these nations understand each other so well?

[@Sydebern]

Because we are ethnically the same people: Germanics.

[@markuserikssen]

Scandivians very direct and honest!? I'm a Dutch person and was living in Sweden for 8 years. Swedes are VERY different on this point. They are not direct at all compared to Dutch people. Instead, they rather talk around it in order to avoid confrontation, especially in situations where something is negative or sensitive. My Swedish friends agree on this, as we talked about it many times and they have all visited The Netherlands. Dutch people just say what they think, whether it's good or bad. Swedish people don't.

[@saarbrooklynrider2277]

Yeah, Norwegians are a better example. Swedes are very conformist.

[@jarzez]

@@markuserikssen Well I'm a Swedish person living in Netherlands for 4 years. And I don't necessarily agree with you at all. It's all relative first of all. Compared to the UK or the US, Swedes get to the point in a much more verbally honest way than them. We also don't sell white lies to people. If a Swede tells you "ah interesting", it's because they think it's interesting. If someone from the UK said "ah interesting", they probably couldn't care less. And I'd bet you lived in the capital region, in or around Stockholm. I'm from the north, and I lived in Stockholm where I found people to be way less direct and have more of a facade than northerners.

[@jeroenschoondergang5923]

@@markuserikssen I lived in Sweden too and my Swedish friends always asked me to organise our trips or events. It drove me mad, as these friends never gave a clear answer whether they wanted to come, liked the idea or had time.

[@mrt6768]

A very common thing to say in Dutch when someone asks your opinion is "Wil je een eerlijk antwoord of een aardig antwoord?" which means "Do you want an honest answer or a nice answer?". I think that's because people in the Netherlands attach great importance to their opinions, so they don't want to hide what they really think.

[@johan8421]

I’m also Dutch. Love my country and the people living in it. Directness is fun in the Netherlands. There are also people here in the Netherlands that have problems with dutch directness. Not all the dutch are direct😂

[@youtubeupload8122]

When Dutch people aren't direct it probably has a reason. Like ass-kissing your boss or some other reason. Directness is not something we are consious of. It's what we are.

[@jannetteberends8730]

@@Typecast-L my experience is that the children of immigrants are direct like the Dutch themselves. Partly because it’s easier to express in language terms.

[@jannetteberends8730]

Lived in Limburg for two decades, and you really have to be careful how you express yourself there.

[@nonegone7170]

@@youtubeupload8122 What? You do realize that even though large groups of people can share cultural similarities, they're all still individuals...

[@MMGV1992]

All of those not being direct, will end up jobless, or behind bars. As proven often!

[@ileana8360]

As a German I see a lot of similarities to Germany with regard to the directness and nudity. To be direct snd honest does not mean you are rude. You just have to choose the right words. You can be honest without offending. And beeing naked is not an invite for sex or a pick-up. I´ve often chosen deliberately a nudist beach when I was younger just to avoid beeing approached by guys.

[@Serenoj69]

Hmmm...I feel germans are really less direct/ But the biggest difference I noted was the hierarchy in Germany. Decisiomaking in companies too. That is really a notable cultural difference but may be that has changed over the years too.

[@IronFreee]

I prefer people explaining why they don't like something, rather than pretending to like it. You don't have to agree with them; but they can have valid arguments and you can learn from it and better whatever they didn't liked for the next time. People in France often consider well supported criticism as a good way to progress. That doesn't mean you don't like something, or that you blame the person. It's just because you think that there's some place for improvement.

[@martinbasten192]

In the Netherlands it happens more frequently than you'd expect sometimes, that they will say something nice about things they don't like. And in the end, when said thing goes away or changes, they'd say "good, I didn't really like it anyway" Well, thanks for the false honesty all this time. Trust -1 😂

[@marcusfranconium3392]

Its the reason why these nations make progress .

[@zdv3119]

I love that in my Part of germany. Just say what you mean iam no mind reader

[@hans4896]

I’m Dutch and I’ve been to the US multiple times. What really stands out for me is that people there are very polite with words, but it’s often some kind of ‘trained kindness’. For example: everywhere where you meet anyone, you’ll be greeted with the same 4 words “Hi, how are you?” only to be replied to with “Hi, how are you?” too… no one seems to expect a real answer to that question. Why bother asking it then…? When people ask me how I’m doing, then they will hear from me how I am doing at that time. Not just “I’m fine thank you”, but the real deal. Even when I’m not doing fine. Then the answer is “Not that good, hope you’re doing better…”

[@fredschepers5149]

Dutch humour is just as direct. Straight forward, direct, rude or whatever you think of it. Being Dutch in the UK (now 17 years), my icebreaker toward new woman who are introduced at work (most of the time they will be explained, almost regrettably that I am Dutch) is almost standard: "I am me... Gosh I love your hair" And just when they finished the last "you" in thank you, I will add: " Just a pity you sit on it", and walk away. Not just putting my stamp on it.... But also a bit of a protest about how I usually am introduced to someone. Like I have an STD or so. Btw, like most, it usually takes a few seconds before the penny drops... 😂 You can hear it... It's like a whole bag of change hits the ground... But it usually results in a laugh... So it's oke. I did however nearly lost a job during an interview with 5, yes five, people on the other side of the 5 meter long table. A team leader, supervisor, senior supervisor, someone from personnel and I can't remember what the other guy managed. When they asked me what I thought about big companies and organisations and their hierarchy, I told them that a lot of companies could use a brush to sweep away obsolete personnel. "I would look for another job for at least 3 of you to make this companie more flat and efficient". Their looks told me that I probably had to look for another job, untill the senior supervisor said, after nearly half a minute of silence: "I actually appreciate your honesty and you actually have a point there. But this is how we do it here". I said fair enough, but you asked... It was only for a welding function! I did end up being one of the many trainers in the company.... 😁

[@digglerdiggler]

Your channel touches on some real curious and interesting topics. Thanks for bringing up stuff that normally is not on the front burner :)

[@IWrocker]

Glad someone realizes and appreciates that!! I love this community and this channel, I always strive to learn about interesting topics and have a diverse& unique library of videos on here 😎

[@simonm.456]

By mid of this year you will hit 150k. :) I am happy for you, mate. Anyway, as a German, I have to admit. The dutch people are right. It is so much easier if people are direct and honest. That is why everyone loves dutch people. Because they are straight forward and pragmatic people. A wonderful culture.

[@sumosprojects]

You’re German & said the word mate 😮😁😁😁 good onya cobber 🇦🇺🇦🇺🍻🍻👍👍

[@simonm.456]

@@sumosprojects I adapt great culture when I see it.

[@teaser6089]

Thank you my friendly Neighbour for those kind words :)

[@henkdelange3107]

@@sumosprojects I like Aussies!

[@sirmeatshield]

As the professor from one of my university courses that tackles cultural communication barriers put it: Some languages have a filter in the mouth, others have a filter in the ears. Dutch is one of the latter.

[@egontania-wp5dn]

I love your prof's concept, and your placement of the Dutch in the latter. But are you implying that when an English/US person says something a Dutchie's understanding is double filtered?

[@Redlingstein]

Haha dat is goed verwoord 👍

[@stefaniaponitz5738]

Hahaha I love this so much!!!

[@brianmaphar9685]

Thank you for your content and reaction. As a Dutchy, now living in NA for 7 years (Canada for me) it is hard and sometimes frustrating to interact with others, who are less direct. I still like to get to the point, no 'dancing around', just say what needs to be said, and it gets frowned upon. I always say: Hey, I m Dutch, so this is what you get. I come across it at work, in my social life, in meetings. I m biting my tongue more often then not, sometimes literally avoiding watching at the clock, as to 'hurry up, get to the point'. But I have to adept, since I m here now. It will take some getting used to, from both parties. Foreigners in The Netherlands and myself here on this side of the pond.

[@jamesconnolly5164]

Being American, I've had many job interviews where in the end I was told, "Okay, well we'll be reviewing several applicants and we'll get back to you when we make a decision." When someone says that they never do. I'll bet in the Netherlands they just say, "you didn't get the job."

[@stefaniaponitz5738]

Nah in the work environment it's the same BS. Usually you don't hear anything at all however when you actually went in for an interview you will always hear back within the time they said they would get back to you.

[@sjors9110]

I am dutch and was once in the USA in a bookstore, found a book and went to the counter, there the lady behind the counter great me with quote (Lady) " hi! How are you!?" (Me in a bad mood and couldn't resist myself in my awnser) " fine, i just heard that I have aids" (Lady) "oh nice!" (Me) surprised and laughing inside about the stupid answer of the lady 🤣🤣🤣 (sorry to offend people who have aids I was just checking the politeness of the lady)

[@rgorris4340]

I'm Dutch but I've always been taught to tell the truth, but not to hurt someone.

[@haggihug3162]

What should I say? Well, I'm german … 🤣🤣🤣 I can't help myself - even if I KNEW people from other countries have different levels of directness, its feels as if they betray me by saying: **Oh yes I love it soooo much.** But in reality they do not mean it. It just feels WRONG. If you don't like it, then why you don't say that? If you not feel good, then don't say you are fine. 👀☯

[@mo_3924]

We say what we think, but not always in the most direct way. The exeptions are services.

[@BvS.404]

I thought you guys were more known for making plans and having respect for hyrachie, as we dutch arn’t affraid to tell the boss wrong if needed.

[@-_YouMayFind_-]

Yes indeed

[@laurapost6502]

first week at the office in the us. i straight up said the food of my boss smelt like dog food. every colleague laughed and did not expect that from an intern to the cfo ..

[@jessydix100]

Love brother for al the lovely uploads

[@Roozyj]

"You must come over for dinner" kinda makes me panic as a Dutch person, because I probably don't want to come over for dinner and I will also probably say something to the extend of "Oh maybe, I'm really busy though, so not any time soon..." without realising that the other person doesn't even really want me to come over either xD

[@Herr_Flick_of_ze_Gestapo]

I would even be more balder than that. "you must come over for dinner" will be answered by me with: "no thank you. I'm quite antisocial and I'm not into that sort of thing. I'd rather eat at home, thank you for offering tho, I appreciate it"

[@ashleyproostentousalwa]

HAHAHA so accurate 😂😂😂

[@Stadtionalist]

FYI, Dutch windows that lack closed curtains are NOT an invitation to others to have a peak inside.

[@GREENx309]

Its a I just want sone sunlight, mind your own business thing

[@alexandersomers21]

Hi, 73 years old hippie from the Netherlands reporting in: Basically most people from the Netherlands work with a famous triangle: Effectiveness, Efficiency and Control ...!!! We've been doing this for centuries ...!!! Today that same triangle is used in a lot of methodologies in a lot of industries all over the world ...!!! I used it myself in my career as a Principal Consultant in the IT Service Industry ...🤘👍

[@nomaam9077]

Tu was du sagst und sag was du tust. Alles andere ist unhöflich. - Do what you say and say what you do. Anything else is impolite!

[@camillabeatetorbergsen5815]

This is not an exclusive to the Dutch culture as northern European countries such as the Nordics and Germany does this as well. I am Norwegian living in Scotland and I find the British to be extremely sensitive and vague. When I am being direct (not rude), they consider me rude and/or abrasive and it's so hard to get a straight answer out of them. But when brits insults you, they are worse than anyone. It's a fake, insulting politeness.

[@habana7638]

absolutely right, i wonder lately does British humor really exists ..

[@nonegone7170]

"You should really think more on that idea" English: it's a bad idea. Dutch: You've got something there, it's worth more thought.

[@elastiekeltjeshaar]

The British are too polite to be honest, the Dutch are too honest to be polite.

[@davidhoogendijk6675]

Being Dutch and having worked all over the world I’ve noticed that what is usually called “Dutch directness, rudeness or bluntness” is what we consider honesty and respectful. If you ask me a question I will tell you exactly what I think because I respect you and assume that you wouldn’t ask me a question if you wouldn’t want an honest answer. I interpret your answer to my question in the same manner because I assume you respect me like I respect you. This causes problems sometimes when working with other cultures because we consider your “politeness” (half truth or lie) as disrespectful and unproductive, making me question your motives for not being honest when I ask you an honest question. We are a result driven culture, a small country with a lot of work to do and few people to do it, that’s how it’s always been. Being unproductive (dishonest unclear)in your ways is a big no no because we don’t feel extra time and energy needs to be spent on figuring out what you really mean in stead of just getting things done and move on to the next thing that needs to get done. British politeness and the Indian nod (maybe yes maybe no) are some well known triggers among Dutch professionals working in shipping for example. I do have to say brits working in shipping tend to be quite direct with us, maybe they’re used to working with the Dutch.

[@bramvanduijn8086]

The other side of this is that you believe someone when they tell you something. So when your words tell me you're fine with my plan when you're really not, then you're out of luck: The plan will go forward.

[@Ron-ei5eh]

Yeah Got in trouble for asking my dutch and american CEO if they reserved the meeting room when they came and told me they needed the room (this timeslot was reserved for a weekly meeting for ages) . They were nagging about that for the next 2 years

[@DomingoDeSantaClara]

I'm a Kiwi living in the UK, our cultures are quite similar in not being particularly direct, however I'm probably not typical for a Kiwi as I always say it like it is. I've lived here a long time and I still get shocked looks from some Brits when I reply to a question with straight out honesty. I work a seasonal job, at the end of last season the boss asked me if I'll be coming back next year, I just said no. His expression was priceless as it was totally unexpected, he probably thought I'd say yes, or I'm not sure etc. I did go on to explain why not because he genuinely looked hurt, but he completely understood after I explained my reasons. For me the question just required a simple yes/no response, I'm probably a bit weird like that (in our culture at least).

[@what_you_say-_-]

Your a kiwi 🥝??? Hahaha how. What do you mean whit your a 🥝 ho yheaa I'm dutchi

[@DomingoDeSantaClara]

@@what_you_say-_- I'm from New Zealand, we are known as Kiwis after the Kiwi bird.

[@seorsamaclately4294]

No is a complete sentence.

[@1336mg]

10.000's of Dutch emigrated to NZ in the 50's. On a not that big population it was the largest group of foreigners arriving. So they propably took some of their directness with them. You see Dutch names everywhere in NZ and you have to pay attention what you are saying. There always are some Dutch-regognizing ears understand you and commenting. They will tell you: my grandmother, or my oma was Dutch. And still Dutch emigrate to NZ. We have friends living there so we have been 3 times. And always is a very pleasant time to be there. I could live there.

[@DomingoDeSantaClara]

@@1336mg When I was a kid we used to holiday with a Dutch family every year, had Dutch neighbours and workmates, also plenty of kids at school with Dutch surnames. Not sure what was going on in The Netherlands back then that made so many decide the other side of the planet was a better option?

[@miztazed]

You can also convert this to Germany. It's the same. No talking thru the flower, no softwashing, no childish sexuallisation of a nacked body. Just say what's the point. I love my dutch neighbors.

[@baronvonlimbourgh1716]

Being honest is being respectful.

[@4x4andfishing]

It's kinda funny watching this as My nan an Aussie and My Opa, Dutch were both very direct people. They always spoke their mind and that has carried through to me. Sometimes good and sometimes very awkward

[@NLTops]

Interesting you bring up Australia. Out of all the Anglophone countries, it is by far the most direct. Perhaps because they were once a penal colony and it resulted in classism not being "exported" there.

[@4x4andfishing]

@@NLTops yeah we are direct but unfortunately cancel culture and sooking has resulted in us not being able to be direct as we once were. With friends, family and people in the country it is still very much alive.

[@Falk4J]

We Germans are that way, too. Many foreigners keep being irritated about our directness. But for us it's sometimes rough but clears the throat pretty well, to put it this way. Yet still we have a subtle politeness going on and you still have to figure what you can tell to whom and how and when. Because after all you want to be understood and not rejected by uttering your opinion tads too harshly.

[@plonss]

Well generally I find Germans way more direct than Dutchmen (I am Dutch myself)

[@Falk4J]

@@plonss Thanks for being so direct on me.. Just kidding. Idk whose the more direct one among us neighbors coz I can't compare since I don't speak dutch..but what you're saying of course could be true though. Blessings from a Hamburger (no, not this 🍔one) to you!

[@plonss]

@@Falk4J When contemplating on German directness I fondly remember an incident that happened with a Dutch friend of me who tried to narrate something in German to a group of Germans somewhere south of Hamburg. Actually this friend speaks quite well German but he formulates slow and his voice isn't loud. One of his German listeners became soon impatient and said "Sprechen Sie laut und deutlich". No one, really no one would say that so clear and direct in the Netherlands !

[@Falk4J]

@@plonss Yes, I understand and of course I had several encounters like that either into my direction or as a witness watching somebody to be yelled at basically out of the blue. That type of behavior always irritated me and made me feel ashamed. I developed an attitude against people behaving that way. I still don't like them but I also learned to ignore them or even petty them for being so narrow minded. But I am no angel and I had my own shameful situations as well. But usually I am quick to realize what just came out of me and then I am never to proud to apologize. I think that is very important other's you can't be sure even then how much of the damage you just did is being undone through apologizing. But at least one has to try instead of just continuing ruthlessly.

[@DenUitvreter]

Maybe, but this video ist mostly aimed at work culture and there is a huge difference between the hierarchical German work culture and the egalitarian Dutch one, also concerning directness of course. You can also tell your boss his idea sucks. This is also the flipside of Dutch efficiency, in the Netherlands everyone 'has to have his pee over it'. The decision might already have been taken or will be taken at another level, but still everyone has to have a say, being at least heard.

[@Pappa_66]

Wow, wow now! Not even close! Working with Dutch people and living there, they are certainly from another planet, than the US but not on the same planet with us! Welcome to Finland!!!!

[@1ihws]

I’m suddenly feeling very impressed - someone FINALLY understands the concept! Socio linguistics will differ according to culture etc etc etc - it’s why “perceptions” and “perspectives” are always relevant …

[@gideonsteijger397]

being direct/straight forward...is a really good trait of the Dutch...however the level of directness will vary depending on rural or urban areas the more rural the more direct ☺️🤔at least in my honest opinion..i liked this reaction 👍🏻

[@tummytub1161]

I'm from the Netherlands and I really think that if everyone was just a bit more direct a lot of problems wouldn't exist. People I've befriended abroad usually speak fondly of the Dutch because they do as they say or do as asked. They can see them as rude but usually don't make a big deal out of it because it gets done and by now most people know how the Dutch are. And like it they can depend on them. A British friend of mine once said to me "The scariest Dutch stranger is a polite one" That was because he got swindled by him😂

[@Warentester]

You should read Erin Meyer's "The culture map" on this topic. It spells out the different communication styles along several key dimensions (e.g. positive vs. negative feedback) across cultures. Absolutely eye-opening and clearly one of the most impactful books I've ever read.

[@ooSicknesSoo]

Don't expect anything, Ask for everything, Take no for an answer, Maybe is not an answer.

[@rollmeister]

It's a Nordic thing. Danish, Norweigan, Swedish & Finnish tend to be blunt. I like it when people get to the point & not sugar coat things or beat around the bush.

[@sit-insforsithis1568]

Nordic thing ? Didn’t know the Netherlands was in the Nordic areas haha

[@teaser6089]

@@sit-insforsithis1568 The Netherlands shares a ton of Cultural tropes with the Nordic Nations, not all tropes, but many. We share the directness, but what we don't share is punctuality. In The Netherlands when you set an appointment for 1300 it means it's at 1300, not 1255, not 1305 no 1300 exact. In the Nordic countries there is much more flexibility haha.

[@kianab7852]

As a Dutch person living in Sweden I can definitely see the similarities! But there's also differences. I've noticed that Swedes are pretty direct but they do soften their words a little more, and they also take criticisms a bit harder and sometimes argue because of the consensus culture. Vice versa, the Dutch could soften their words a bit more sometimes (just because something is true doesn't mean you have to drop it on someone), and they can also be more understanding when a consensus hasn't truly been reached yet (they want to save time and get to a decision quickly, but it's not always the best for communication to hurry!) Hard earned lessons, but at least the culture shock wasn't that big haha!

[@Serenoj69]

We aren;t Nordic though. I found Fins to be a little bit off. They are a lot colder than the others, say almost nothing. I also cant understand a word they said nor write and they look different too. While some of these things are surely superficial and not cultural, some things are not. If someone wants to group us in a group where we still do not belong, it is Scandinavians. Dutch and Scandinavians always go along well, nothjing to get adjusted to. Especially the Danes are indeed an awful lot like us. In fact those living here tend to be indistinguishable from us. Also I think that no one over here thinks Scandinavians are foreigners. I worked with a couple and sometimes only after months found out a pwerson was Danish for instance. There is just no way to tell, unless their Dutch is broken. I think we expect them to be 100% like us, same culture, same work ethics, similar language. I think with most foreigners we would talk English for quite some time and gradually ask them (or tell them) to start talking Dutch more. I think thje only exception are the Scandinavians. We would really expect them to talk Dutch really quickly and not be so easy when they would continue in English.

[@teaser6089]

@@Serenoj69 Norwegians, Swedish, Danish and FInish are all 4 part of the Nordic Council, so how aren't they all four nordic?

[@AudieHolland]

Re: visiting the hairdresser. This is ingrained into every Dutch child. I always dreaded having to have my hair cut because the other kids in school would make funny and not so funny remarks. But when everyone does that to everyone else from an early age on, I guess we never lost the habit. The most positive thing you can will hear as a boy from another person after having had a hair cut: "Well, it looks like you fell down the stairs quite a bit!" This is the literal translation of "Nou, jij bent flink van de trap gevallen!" I don't even know how this figure of speech came about. It means: Wow, your hair is very much shorter now.

[@Hencia]

I was born in the Netherlands but moved to Belgium cause its cheap but I have never heard about that spreekwoord

[@AudieHolland]

@@Hencia So why not google it?

[@nigelmchugh5541]

In Ireland after a "severe" haircut, you may be told "I see you got your ears lowered"☺ ( if you are bloke)

[@aarongeorge8946]

I find South Africans have also inherited this directness trait from the Dutch. Once you get used to it you realise there is no offensive intent behind the direct comments and people are just a friendly and warm..

[@Wouter_r1200]

There is a big difference between being polite and nice. You can very well be direct and be polite. And that is what Dutch folk generally are .. not to be mistaken for rude

[@iamTheSnark]

How is not being honest called "polite?"

[@baassbooster]

If you wan`t to know anything about Dutch Humour check out New Kids Turbo and New Kids Nitro. I`m from former Yugoslavian republic ,but Dutch humuor is like ours.

[@j.a.h.vandelaak3477]

Good point

[@raiinzyy]

That's quite old. The people they play in New Kids Turbo are called tokkies lol. I saw the actor playing the redhead once at a gasstation/highway (Tim Haars) Dude was very nice and funny when we recognized him and happily waved back.

[@AynenMakino]

With the directness, the Dutch create dependability. You don't have to wonder about how to interpret an interaction for ages after the fact, you don't have to guess at what's gonna happen next. You can depend on what is being said. It reduces so much stress if you lean into it.

[@s.p.1536]

I love my Dutch neighbours but in the beginning my feelings were hurt constantly. I praised someone in the American way, and my neighbour said that if I ever spoke like that again, she would stop speaking to me! Now I know to be moderate and careful about my appreciation. The same neighbours are now my very closest friends.

[@Mandymccandy]

It also goes the other way around. When you’re in a Dutch person’s home during the afternoon and they say: “we’re about to have dinner”, you are supposed to leave the house because that dinner is not meant for you. Also they might switch off the heating in the evening before they go to bed. So when you’re visiting a Dutchy and they turn of the heating you know they go to bed within an hour and you have to leave soon.

[@teaser6089]

First one I can atest to, but the last one, I think that might be an "old" thing, cause that doesn't happen a lot anymore.

[@yes8032]

Where I live we always let visitors dine with us but I’ve seen this happening a lot too

[@whtalt92]

​@@teaser6089 Not with the energy costs from the last year ;) Although tbf, the thermostat is usually one of those fancy programmable ones so you don't even have to get up to lower it.

[@thematriarchy2075]

About staying to eat, or not, i think that is really old skool, because i never had this happen, ever

[@cherrymountains72]

I’m Dutch and the way I see it is that you shouldn’t ask for my opinion on something if you don’t really want to know it. It just means that the answer I will give is always my honest answer and not some euphemistic nonsense that’s not going to help you at all. And just because we are direct doesn’t mean we will insult you for the fun of it, no, not at all! We tell you our honest opinion in an effort to help you improve or get confirmation on whatever it is you’re asking. And let’s also not forget that we also tell you just as directly what we like or is a great idea. We are not brutal people, we just try to be efficient and expect others to be the same.

[@mo_3924]

Same in germany. Exeptions are services. You wouldn't complain with a bad hair cut or when you got your meal a bit late in rush hour. An exeption to the exeption is, when the service was extremly bad.

[@cherrymountains72]

@@mo_3924 I totally understand and agree, mein Freund :).

[@-_YouMayFind_-]

yes exactly. If people don't want an honest answer then don't ask me. That's how I think, but I will not hurt someones feelings randomly. Because I do have the statement of:" if I have nothing positive to say. I better not talk at all". I learned it from being bullied that not everything needs to be said that hurts someone even if somebodies haircut is ugly or someone is wearing dark clothes or someone is quiet or whatever might be wrong to someone. I feel like people should accept that people are different and everyone has different tastes. I never say to someone: "your hair is ugly" just out of the blue like that. I only sometimes have moments where I honestly tell my sister that the song she is playing is not my style of music. Thats it.

[@kasper2970]

Had the same. I was working on a project and after a week my American manager asked me my opinion about the machine we were making and thought let’s be polite and said “it looks nice”. I saw al the question marks in his eyes, but it was really the only good thing I could find. I was there to do factory acceptance tests and in 1 week I found so many manufacturing errors it was probably better to throw it away and start over. (Sales value over €3.000.000). The hole problem was during project meetings nobody dare to address some problems because they thought it was a personal failure and solved the most problems with workarounds not knowing these workarounds were creating problems for other parts of the machine. In the end my American manager was very pleased with my quality checks, because checked really ment manufactured as designed and not yes it’s working and all faults are hidden.

[@hansd3295]

American: heey! how are you? (Not in the meantime, an empty sentence. Dutchman: heey! How are you ? (Interested and meant question to which you expect an honest answer)

[@dutchbachelor]

As an Austrian living in the Netherlands, I usually appreciate that directness and blunt honesty. If a Dutch person has a problem with you, there is no way you won't know.... Americans are generally friendly, but in my experience also often don't really mean it. i.E. We had an American who was an teaching assistant to our professor. She said she absolutely would love to have drinks with us. A couple days after, we decided to call her up and invited her to come for a coffee to the City café. She was looking at us like: WTF are you doing here. And that was one instance, things like that happened all the time. I had Americans ask me how I am and then act all surprised when I told them. They just expected to hear "Great" and move on. To me, that comes across as shallow. Often enough it may be "Great" but sometimes it won't. Be prepared for that or don't ask if you don't really want an answer. I won't be offended if you don't ask.

[@ChokyoDK]

Same with the Danish.

[@dv2483]

Dutch aren't rude. They're generally friendly and polite. But politeness the Dutch way doesn't translate well into English. It's a language/cultural thing. Dutch politeness is understated compared to British. "Don't get too crazy, we're all equal", that mentality. Speaking Dutch will change the perception of the Dutch people a lot for English in the Netherlands. But because Dutch love efficient communication, learning Dutch is hard. You can't really practice. People will insist on talking English to you. The Netherlands is the most extreme but also Belgians and Germans are more direct than Britons. Consider yourself warned when traveling there ;-). greets from Belgium

[@autohmae]

11:25 "I find it enlightening to be quiet frank." As a Dutch person I would almost ask: ohh, so you aren't frank the rest of the time ? ;-)

[@petermaardananders6803]

' Wow your hair looks great today, did your blowdryer blew up? '

[@raiinzyy]

Depends on who you're saying this to. For Dutch people, this can also be considered rude.

[@petermaardananders6803]

@@raiinzyy Tjaja niet iedereen vind het een grappige opmerking om te lachen, dat is ook prima. Het is net hoe, wanneer en nog een heleboel meer, en tegen wie je zoiets zegt. En tja voorspellen hoe iemand het opvat, zeker als het een geschreven tekst is is tja moeilijk in te schatten soms. Maar gevoel voor humor is voor iedereen toch wat ie er zelf van maakt.

[@raiinzyy]

@@petermaardananders6803 Klopt, mee eens. Het is niet echt iets dat je tegen iemand zegt die je nog maar net kent haha. En het is makkelijker in te schatten bij mensen die je wel beter kent.

[@boredutopia]

o the dutches, you must love them, they are so direct and blunt, at first for me it was so srange and i thought gosh how this person is rude, until i realised all of them are like that, even people who are not dutches but live there since they were kids or for over 10 years. after a year living there i realised i more becoming direct and blunt, my family back home often was swept by it. it makes things so much easier, when i started to date mkes it so much easier, i am pansexual so both men and women i was dating. in my homeland women will very raely approcah to men and will often play mind games and say one thing, do another and actually think third. with dutch women that does not exist, wanna have sex yes or no, wanna grab a drink, looking for this or that, with dutch men even easier,they are more direct than women, if thaz even possibel, from first moment you know where you stand with them. also makes thing easier in work place, they are not so strickt as germans, they are more chill and on more friendly, not so offical level, but when they ask you o do something or what they want from you, it is so clear, that you must be a moron if you dont understand what they want from you. if they have a problem with you, any kind, they will tell you str8 into your face, solves so much issues and crap. i could not stand my ex at first and he could not stand me, but him being dutch, one day he just came to me and directly told me why he cant stand me, we talked for almost 2 hours and realised most of our issues were coz of cultural differencies and i often had no idea that some things wich were so normal to me , kinda annoyed bunch of dutch people ( i am slavic, but i spend 10 years in iceland so i kinda was something in between 2 different cultures and often was not sure how to act, if i was more iclenadic then i would be called and had issues back in homeland, if i was to slavic, i had issues in iceland, so i kinda merged 2 cultures into something in between, that worked in iceland and back home, but not in nederland). after some time, coz of his directness we realised we actually have bunch of things in common, not sure how and why we just ended together one night. after 3 years in nederland i become direct and blunt too, so much problems is avoided when people are direct and blunt and clear, instead playing games, messing with white lies and stuff....

[@ashleyproostentousalwa]

Last year i dated a British guy (I’m dutch myself). We broke up cause it just didn’t work out. I told him:”just say it directly in my face, stop gossiping to other people about your problems.” And he was like:”stop being so overly rude and direct. You can’t just say that her shirt looks bad.” 😂 that’s really when i realised how different we are in culture. Dating another British guy right now, but he loves my directness 🥰

[@danobanano2505]

As a Dutchie i know of an example where this honesty/directness is expressed. When you meet someone and say "how are you" in the Netherlands they would take your question serious and tell you how they are doing. While in other countries like the u.s. it's more of a phrase which is just a way of saying hello.

[@BoGy1980]

I live in Belgium (which is the south neighbor of the Netherlands), and we speak dutch here too. I've always been a bit of a "stand out" here, because I've always been a straightforward person, I prefer other to know the truth, and it's their problem if they don't like the truth/reality, not mine. At least they'll never blame me for lying to them and they know i'm an honest person that doesn't sugarcoat to hide certain aspects. The only reason i wouldn't be fully honest is when i need to protect someone but myself or if something very positive needs to be kept secret (eg a surprise for someone, so it doesn't get spoiled). In all other cases i always tell the truth. We even have a proverb that goes like "Klinkt het niet, dan botst het maar", directly translated it goes like this "if it doesn't sound, then it just clashes"; it means "if you don't like what you're hearing, then it's your problem that it keeps bashing in your face; at least u know the truth now." That's the perfect proverb for honest and direct people like myself, we rather give a small dent to someone's feelings, instead of sugarcoating and leaving them with the wrong insights, because in the end that will create more conflict than telling the truth. The thing is, the person that is sugarcoating things may later on, when the full truth is revealed to the listening person, come across as not truthful or even someone who lies. I've often made such people look very stupid in front of a lot of people in my younger years; u know the type; "i caught a fish THIS BIG", while in reality i saw the picture and the fish was only half that size, so then i looked up that picture again and showed it to everyone while saying something like "oh, do you mean this little deepfreeze fishstick?", making everyone laugh at the guy who tried to make himself look cool by bluffing and overstating things. I always call myself a "REAL MAN", someone who lives in this reality, looks at things from a realist perspective and always talks the truth. I'm only human, so sometimes I make mistakes, but I've always been forgiven for making them and I'm always glad when someone points out that I'm doing or thinking something wrong, at least they help me so i can "update myself" with better knowlegde and actions. Lying that someone did something "so fantastic" while in reality you're not trying to offend the because you actually don't like it, is NOT HELPING the person. I'm not saying you must be rude, but you can also tell in a polite way that his efforts were good, but that the results could've been more likeable if he changed this or that. It's like going to a bakery, and their bread is too sour; if you tell that baker that his bread was "not bad", he won't know what's wrong, On the other hand if you tell him that his bread quality is good, but there is something wrong with the sourness of the dough, he'll probably ask some other customers about the taste and will be able to adjust. Sugarcoating would in this case only help the bakery lose customers, as nobody tells him what's wrong and people stop buying his bread, being honest and straighforward might hurt his feelings a bit at that moment, but once the baker realizes it's the same with his other customers, he'll be glad u told him as you gave him important information to keep his business going. That's how I perceive being straightforward, if you are always honest and do it the correct way, people will really like u for being that. I've had people telling me things after only 5 minutes knowing each other, which they kept secret their whole life, and they were so glad they could finally tell someone about their deepest secrets. It's as if my honesty towards others helps them to be more honest, because I believe being honest is what makes the best friends. I don't have any shame about my past, how hard and bad it's been only made me stronger and wiser. If I tell people what i've all been through and how shameless i talk about it, it lowers their guards and for some reason touches something that makes them open up as they've never done before to a stranger. What you've been through in life doesn't make you who you are, it's HOW you handled all those events that SHOWS who you are. In my case, i could only rely on myself in my youth, and in my early adulthood that made me a partially egocentric person, because i had learned that only ME cares for me so ME should come first always. So when i was finally 18 and living by myself, I started a relationship with someone, and this made me feel invincible; because i got to feel true love for the first time and didn't know what love was... So i made my share of mistakes and learned A LOT about myself and i saw that this egocentrism was really the root of my problems. I learned and never stopt learning about myself and my actions; if you're capable of being fully honest with yourself and are open to accept your flaws, that's when u can start working on them one by one and change into someone that comes close to "ethical perfection", you'll never be ethical perfect, that's impossible, but the closer you get, the more you'll realise that life is not about having things, but it's all about finding balance in every way and form... It's ok to eat meat, but it's not ok to eat tons of meat and nothing else, same as vegetarians are less healthy because they resist eating a balanced meal. To find balance u sometimes need to make sacrifices, and as long as you try to make up for those sacrifices, keep away from excessive behaviour and try to be good for the world (not just yourself), you'll eventually start getting back what you're putting into others; that's how the great balancing force of nature works (karma keeps yin-yang in balance, if you do bad/good to others, bad/good will eventually come back to you; so now u know a secret of my belief system)

[@dwwolf4636]

Belgian work culture is very different however. Much more hierarchic

[@ArtimusClyde]

I've lived here for 25 years...... rude is a description I woudn't have used

[@fnnpc746]

I think the dutch are one of the most friendly people out there. Every time i come there i instantly feel like home. Everyone is greeting you. I've never experienced anything like it in any other country. And i've been in some.

[@SIckLilMONkeY1985]

I play football in an expat team in the Netherlands. I'm 100% proper dutch. It's always funny to me that the non-dutchies go home to shower after a game while all the dutch girls immediatly start undressing once the door closes to hit the shower. Usually with a new girl joining the team the first reaction is always being shocked. It's sort of hilarious. But you get used to it and we respect eachother.

[@harrygroen69]

Dont take no bs dont give no bs is the motto! 🤣 Greetz from the netherlands.

[@MAROCK187]

I`m Dutch, born and raised. I really like the directness no kidding around. We Dutch we value our times and we see true the bull-shit. I think because we appreciate the finer things in life. The ones just coming from a working community are direct because it`s easier to understand. We see otherwise people with a double agenda or 2faced. It`s better to speak your mind and discuss instead of talking with no meaning.

[@LogiForce86]

I got scolded by my English girlfriend way back when I went to the job office in the UK, and according to her I was rude. Yet here I was flabbergasted as why she was scolding me, as from my viewpoint I did absolutely nothing wrong. 😭

[@Lupi33z]

English are so easy to offend. They want everything wrapped in Christmas paper.

[@ashleyproostentousalwa]

Haha😂 i had the exact same thing. The amount of times we had arguments about it was crazy

[@janihaavisto79]

I think directness is an European trade, or at least Scandinavian very least. In Finland were the same as Dutch. And Swedish are just the same too.. Honest, direct.

[@baronvonlimbourgh1716]

If kimi is anything like the average then they are even more so then the dutch lol.

[@Matchbox4004]

2:21 has definitely nothing to do with our "directness". It's a perfect example of a sarcastic joke when somebody comes back from the barbershop. There will always be at least one friend or collegue who have to say this particular sentence/joke 😅

[@davidvandersterre]

I didn't get the term "Dutch directness" until recently. I didn't know it was such a big deal at first. Now I just think it should be the norm, because it really makes communicating anything easier.

[@gekkegerrit933]

messing about with someone who has had a haircut is almost a cliche between friends, familily and co-workers, iy is just a friendly jab. a dutch revolving joke.

[@gekkegerrit933]

actually it is a sign you integrated well within your respective circle that a dutch person would even comment like that, you had a haircut? who was your barber? an australian sheep farmer? Dutch humor often is quite personal and jabby and direct.

[@gekkegerrit933]

and mind: vanity and show offness is frowned upon here.

[@baronvonlimbourgh1716]

That probably was a joke lol.

[@GiblixStudio]

As a dutchman i'm often considered rude and mean by others. Thing is....time is precious so stop wasting it. Be clear so we can get things done. Be honest, you are not responsible if someone's feelings are hurt. If someone takes something too personal they have to work on themselves in order figure out why they feel that way. instead of blaming others. Not sure if its every american, but i really hate communicating with most of them. Every single one i interacted with thusfar...they spend the first 5 mins of a conversation pre-maturely apologizing for anything they might say. and if it might hurt your feelings or perception. That is weakness to most of us dutch. And I personally become very agitated by it. Just shut up and say what's on your damn mind already. Also we're mostly pragmatic and down to earth. I had a few business meetings over the years with millions of euro's on the line. I don't care if your culture is about being fashionably late, driving up in a flashy car with several women flanking you. If you are too late it is seen as a waste of time, a sign of disrespect and a sign that you can't be trusted to follow through on the most basic of agreements. So I canceled any interaction with those companies straight away. No second chances. You fucked up so now i go elsewhere. With some swedish buddy I get into discussion from time to time. He never says no and agrees to everything. So here i am on the day and time we agreed to do the activity we agreed on. He doesn't show. Always has excuses. If you don't plan to show up just say no and don't make an appointment to begin with you spineless piece of sh... I could've done something useful with my time. Now i'm wasting it because of someone else. It is considered very disrespectful. If someone says something you don't want to hear...that's ok. at least we can still respect each other. less so when the other is disrespectful. A story as a kid. school had cut a few hours of classes due to teachers being ill. so i had to spend 3 hours at school just to follow a 45min class at the end of the day. detention means you had to do 45mins x2. easy math for me. I just went home and skipped the class and told the teacher the reason. It was more time efficient to skip a class that teaches nothing of use. go home and just chill. Also if i spend longer traveling then actually being at the location I say outright that i'm not going to do it. Either plan so my day is filled properly with other meetings in that area...or don't send me out at all. It sounds rude, but at least people know straight up what is going on. And can take it into consideration which leads to a lot less problems down the line. Short term discomfort to create clarity is always worth the pay off long term. It is very important to most of us dutch people to be clear. Make a decision and set a course so we can get moving and have clarity. Even if the decision made wasn't the perfect one. At least we know what we have to deal with and take necessary measures where applicable. Unfortunately the last 10-15 years we've grown very indecisive with the whole "knowledge economy" direction. Now more and more people are "highly" educated. Leading to lots of investigate and discussion groups with nobody actually making a damn decision. This is starting to piss off more and more of us as well in the past year or two. Privacy depends here as well. In the southern provinces people more often leave their doors unlocked for neighbours to come in. I don't like that so i moved towards another part of The Netherlands.

[@boredutopia]

nagh thaz perception of non dutch people, i lived in nederland for 3 years, after a year i become direct and blunt ( for my family extremly rude and corrupted copmpletly by west lol), coz i saw it is a way to go, spares so much time, from dating to friendships to family relations.. dutch way is to go... i love nederland and dutch people, 2 of my exes are dutch, often go to nederland for vacation or they come to my country. iceland is my first love and home away from home, coz i came there as 11 year old and lived there all together for 10+ years, with 2 year break in between. probably one day will end up there or my second favourite country nederland, one of those 2 will be acountry where i plan to die.. just stay on the dutch way ;)

[@JPvids1]

Haha I live in the Netherlands

[@Harry_PP030]

While being direct we (Dutch) tend to be polite, let's not confuse bluntness with directness.

[@boredutopia]

@@Harry_PP030 you are often blunt too, blunt have bunch of meanings, and you are often blunt, especialy with people you know very well, just few meanings of blunt: Definition of blunt adjective, blunt·er, blunt·est. having an obtuse, thick, or dull edge or point; rounded; not sharp: a blunt pencil. 2. abruptly plain and direct in address or manner, without attempting to be tactful:a blunt, ill-timed question. slow in perception or understanding; obtuse: His isolation has made him blunt about the feelings of others. verb (used with object), blunt·ed, blunt·ing.to make blunt or dull: He blunted the knife by using it to cutlinoleum. to weaken or impair the force, keenness, or susceptibility of: Wine first excites, then blunts the imagination.verb (used without object), blunt·ed, blunt·ing. to become blunt or dull. number 2 is a description of all of my dutch friends who i know very well and both of my exs, you are not directly blunt with strangers, but with close friends, family and partners yup..

[@danniionderwater]

🤣 ga je lekker!

[@elgatoloco727]

I´m from Germany and I am often accused of being too direct. But I don't give a shit! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@shootingsportstransparency7461]

As a Dutch person, I still remember the first time I visited the US and someone asked how I was doing, and I will never forget the surprise on her face when I actually told her how I was doing.

[@writer2804]

My Dutch daughter studying in London learned the hard way that it was considered very impolite to say 'yes' to 'would you like another cup of tea?' She'd say 'no, thank you' twice (!) only to say 'yes, please' if the other person insisted. Brrrr. 😳

[@user-fk3fz9mc4j]

Just a suggestion: some say that the non-hierarchical business structure and almost no authority given to (especially middle) management comes from this: When in the past, farmers tried to protect their lanfd from flooding, they had to work together (one fails, everyone fails) yet no one was the boss

[@derpeek]

The Dutch, and I am one of them, master expectation management. If people around are not direct I get insecure. The nudity aspect mentioned is some thing of the last decades. Nude beaches and sauna. In the 80ies there was stil a bit naughty. Some things can change within a generation.

[@-_YouMayFind_-]

Which is understandable. At least to me

[@Serenoj69]

What? It is vice versa! In the 80s woman tended to be topless on every beach. Nowadays, you barely see it. Saunas etc or nude beaches have not changed a bit. It is pretty normal. But it was a lot more normal for women in the 80s to be topless sunbathing.

[@juankock9755]

I am a Dutchman living in France (already 20 years). Here the French always revolve around the truth. Never a direct answer, so after hours of meetings you are not one step further. I can now also give you a direct example as a Dutchman: stop sliding that mouse over the screen when you talk to us.(As in all your KZbin videos.) That is very irritating, greetings from a stiff Dutchman.

[@Fr3akez]

‘Hoi’ ‘Hoi’ ‘Alles goed?’ ‘Ja hoor. Met jou ook?’ ‘Yep’ ‘Ok. Doei’ Our shortest way of communication (mostly we’re biking) if we want to have an answer at the question how someone is doing.