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[@ArthiPrem]

Americaவின் முதல் முருகன் கோவிலில் தைப்பூச திருவிழா 👇👇👇 kzbin.info/www/bejne/g4mngoOYmNx2m9k

[@Cacofonixravi]

உருபட வாய்ப்பே இல்லை

[@thamizarasirajesh3193]

Sorry Anna , u both rocked speaking the mind voice of many tamil people. Great job 👏🏽

[@balajij3439]

We recently moved to Atlanta. It’s been a year and we are not able to connect to anyone here. It’s so hard to get into a tamil group here. Once a group is formed people are not letting us into…. We migrated here and Better to change this attitude…. I feel Telugu people are so welcoming compared to us.

[@rajabharathybaskaran7660]

That’s true

[@ArthiPrem]

True balaji Atlanta is having big tamil group 😐

[@ArthiPrem]

Very good advice Thanks 🙏

[@balajij3439]

@@ramki.r.7914 ji agree. It differs to person to person. Some needs to be social and some needs to independent. Having kids, we want to expose them to Tamil community. But when others are so closed with their circle and don’t want to open to fellow Tamil people is the problem .

[@Sathishkumar-rl7gj]

True bro, same. Mostly they won't allow inside their circle. Or if you are beneficial for them then they accept or you should know play better sports cricket, volleyball etc.

[@snowmass5310]

Well said. I was so disappointed when I learnt about GC,401k very late and checked with my close friends and they were like 'Yeah ,we applied all those already' . That is why I have huge respect on KZbin channels like yours and many others where you all share lot of information selflessly.

[@jaiganeshnatarajan]

True, our Tamil people keep these important things secretly. Not sure why

[@rajalakshmic7120]

தான் தான் அவனை விட பணம் அதிகம் சேர்க்க வேண்டும் என்ற மனப்பான்மை

[@ArthiPrem]

Yeah 401k story happened to everyone’s life 😐😐😐

[@VikisKitchen1]

@@ArthiPrem yes , true.

[@depssab4676]

I am a malayali , I do understand Tamil ..this is same even for us, I hardly have friends from malayali or Tamil group..but I feel Telugu people are best in sharing info, I appreciate that group who constantly help each other..

[@luckyluke8667]

நல்ல பதிவு. 6 மாதங்களுக்கு முன், கணவரின் வேலை மாற்றத்தினால் வேறு ஊருக்கு வந்தோம். எங்கள் அப்பார்ட்மெண்ட் காம்ப்ளெக்ஸ்ல் உள்ள இரு தமிழ்க் குடும்பங்கள் இதுவரை அவர்கள் வீட்டுக்கு அழைத்ததே இல்லை. ஒரு முறை பெயரளவில் ஏதேனும் உதவி வேண்டுமெனில் கேளுங்கள் என்றார்கள். அவர்களின் நண்பர்கள் வட்டத்திற்குள் எங்கள் குழந்தைகளை விளையாட அழைத்ததும் இல்லை. நம்மவர்களுக்கு, மற்ற மாநிலத்தவர்கள் எவ்வளவோ மேல். "தமிழன் என்றோர் இனமுண்டு, தனியே அவர்க்கோர் குணமுண்டு".

[@thiyagarajansrinivasan8376]

உண்மை.

[@ArthiPrem]

So sad.. mostly impacted by the newcomers to the usa and the relocated people 😐

[@karunakaransundaresan9602]

👍👍

[@imouli30]

Very Good Topic you have discussed this week. It’s really appreciated to see you have chosen this sensitive topic openly for discussions. Most of the Tamil community Group Gatherings are creating more Stress than relieving Stress. Tamil community gatherings should create ways to help one another and provide constructive forums and discuss current issues which people are facing and how to resolve. I see this happening in Telugu community gatherings and they have a very good support system to help one another in buying house, selecting schools, filling Tax, Car pool, DMV , jobs etc..

[@ArthiPrem]

True mouli bro Have to improve a lot .. we should start atleast now as a community

[@dhandapanimurugan7450]

Prem - biggest challenge I am facing is my parents are targeted or cornered by relatives with financial help - people thinking here we are printing dollars and they are not even requesting but demanding / forcing my parents to help lakhs of lakhs which leads lot of stress sometimes fight between us and parents We are not that much crook , always open to share financial help for education , medical reasons but not at all okay to financially help to buy bigger homes or upgrade home or big weddings to waste money . Please consider these kind of pressure from INDIA in any one of your upcoming topics

[@josephvedhamanickam4931]

தம்பி உங்கள் குரல் மிகச்சரியானது.எனது 27 வருட அமெரிக்க வாழ்கையில் நம் தமிழ் மக்களிடம் பகிர்தல் இல்லை என்பதை புரிந்து என்னால் வேதனைபட மட்டுமே முடிந்த்து நீங்கள் பகிர்ந்த்து மிகுந்த மகிழ்சி அளிக்கிறது. தொடருங்கள் தமிழ் சமுதாய சேவையை. வாழ்த்துக்கள்.

[@rosesweet2405]

The issue I faced was most Indian women I meet want to know if I am working or not even before they want to know my name😀. If working means they have a different attitude if a housewife means a different attitude. This started to hurt me a lot but with family support I was able to come out. 2nd thing is loneliness suddenly thoughts flow in why I am here away from my parents, suddenly if I feel like talking to someone there is no one to talk to ......

[@KamalisDiary]

Yes absolutely! Sharing is very limited there's circle friendship only with in tamil people even we knew about shares before two years from telugu friend intha mari neraya irukku very good that you guys boldly mentioned! Appreciate Guys!

[@ArthiPrem]

Thank u sister 🙏🙏

[@1903priya]

Every Lady should watch this video. Kids are a top discussion in parties. I realized this pressure and came out of it. Ladies remember that when you put too much pressure on kids it reflects once they are out of home.

[@ArthiPrem]

Yes … we shouldn’t take kids topic at any occasion 😐

[@lalla526]

This is so true.. I moved to Alabama and here also once group form aaitta they don't welcome anybody else... Great job guys! You have covered the most important problem here.. I am in US for last 7 years and Inda mari pressure jaasthiya irikku.. actually there are 2 other problems as well in US.. please cover that also.. 1) Company name/Technology vechu yedai podranga first meet laye 2) India la irukka caste system ingayum kondu varanga over a judge panranga caste vechu cheap a behave panranga.

[@jeyaprabasaravanan1132]

Well said 👏

[@arunrajendran529]

நம்ம கிட்ட இருக்குற பெரிய பிரச்சனையே ஒற்றுமையின்மை மற்றும் சற்று குறைவான தன்நம்பிக்கை. மற்றபடி நம் மக்கள் நல்ல திறமையானவர்கள். கடும் உழைப்பாளிகள்.

[@revathisoundarrajan1217]

முதல்ல இந்தியனை , இந்தியன் பார்த்தால் மதிப்பதில்லை சிரிப்பது கூட இல்லை அதே அமெரிக்கர்கள் ஹாய் என்கிறார்கள் சிரிக்கிறார்கள் இந்திய பெரியவர்களும், சிறியவர்களும் மனிதர்களை மதிக்க கற்றுக்கொள்ளுங்கள்

[@jodavid9649]

Super same in canada too

[@Ravinder.elumalai]

💯 agree on this. You hit the nail hard at 8:20. Arthi in Beast mode. Nicely done 👍

[@ArthiPrem]

Thanks😊

[@estatesm4914]

1. Sharing of information whether it is good or bad to help the Tamil community to prosper 2. Avoid comparing with other kids/people (and forcing them to involve in the (unwanted) activities). Develop the kids in the area where they are gifted. 3. Need social life and interaction after empty nest, feeling loneliness, retirement 4. Conversation should be helpful and constructive and avoid politics and conflicting toopics

[@ArthiPrem]

👏👏👍

[@vikaccount]

Ya Prem! you're absolutely correct. Even I have faced a lot of issues as you mentioned. Connecting Tamil people is tedious here in the USA, they never cope with anyone or help anyone. Some people speak only in English, and the moment when they come to know someone is Tamil this is heartbreaking. This culture will never end in the future and it might pass on to generations. I will be grateful to you if they get to see this video and change their nature in near future. You guys are awesome! I appreciate your effort, and time is taken to upload such informative and wonderful videos. “தமிழன் என்று சொல்லடா தலை நிமிர்ந்து நில்லடா” This is not a saying...This should be mirrored and reflected by every individual. Thank you… Vikram.

[@jaiganeshnatarajan]

Yes, Born and brought up in US madhiriye pannuvanga. Not good. No unity at all. Always with Selfish thoughts.

[@uhemanth]

Agreed

[@ArthiPrem]

Well said vikram bro As a community we have to go long distance

[@nishadhri]

@@jaiganeshnatarajan salute to your comment!!!

[@geethagurudev5836]

Very nice video Arthi and Prem...I have come to visit my daughter in Tucson, Arizona....Even I observed that Tamil students and Tamil people in general dont even share any job search knowledge they have with any of our young students who comes to US to do their masters... whereas Telugu and Gujarati people help each other

[@ArthiPrem]

True It’s happening all over the place Hope our community will correct it

[@joycelinsudesh5728]

Yes brother, I felt the same when compare to other language communities our Tamil community is far behind in share and giving shoulders to help our people

[@ArthiPrem]

True bro

[@sparklingspices]

Thanks for sharing with us. I faced the same situation in the USA. Our community people are not sharing good things. Sometimes, they not even talk to us. I don't know why they are behaving suddenly like this, we got a lot of confusion. Finally, we understood Indian people in the USA. They are not supporting each other, not sharing good things, not willing to invite their home, if we invite to our home they'll come.

[@Thankyouforever1]

Very true tired of inviting them 😅

[@sparklingspices]

@monajambu1595 yup! same here too😆😁

[@logeshwarandhanapal6825]

This is the major problem among our tamilians. Cheap attitude and mentality. I never face this kind of issues while in Tamilnadu. How long you keep giving the information ? but you never get anything from anyone. I am exhausted 😂. Guys please be careful while relocate ( 😂)

[@jodavid9649]

Good

[@ArthiPrem]

True bro Most affected group are whoever coming new to the USA and whoever relocating inside USA

[@revathibalaji7616]

Really good video..I was in USA 20 years back but even then comparison was there..India also same..but if we clearly decide what we want to do it will not be an issue that much.. avoiding negative people is the key..

[@ArthiPrem]

Well said .. avoid and ignore 👏👏

[@75025music]

You guys are doing a great job. When I came here, first think I remained my wife we should not compare my son with anyone. When my son was in 6th grade, once I told him if you get "A" in Mathematics I will get you a game. He said, Dad you want to get me a game do it, but do not put conditions. If you put conditions, I do not want it. It was a eye opener for me.

[@ArthiPrem]

Thank you so much bro!! Great answer from your son 👌👌👌 Next generation is very clear and sharp

[@gopinathanduraiswamy6890]

One of the useful discussions that I ever seen in recent time. I can see the Telugu communities are well connected and sharing all kind of information with their circle, but it is very less in Tamil groups. My friends group trying to be more transparent in sharing things between us, but lots to improve. Thank you for discussing this @ArthiPrem

[@ArthiPrem]

Thanks bro

[@karthive]

Kootama thaniya irukom...

[@ArthiPrem]

Wow well said 👏👏👏

[@thiyagarajansrinivasan8376]

Exactly.

[@bananaleaf9977]

Thanks for bringing this to public many of us facing one or other problems like this as you mentioned.. 1st Arthi - superb point one life so we have to be happy n healthy as a family that is more important than anything.. please don’t compare with anybody we r not living in there shoes . Stop comparing ourselves or our kids to anyone.. now days what I felt is show off , even close friends move to new home,community they changed a lot .. innum nee veedu vaagalaya you have Gc but still why this kind f question & comparison for what you wear , how times you go for restaurants , enna brand car , mainly vacations and very important comparison kids all seven days after school kids have to be in one other activities and school having programs like Project arrow ( they started comparing ) & so most of us r dragged into this kind peer pressure 😢 After 12 years in chicago what I learned is one r two good souls around me is enough I don’t want any big crowd around me .. this is my life n my family so what makes me happy I’m doing.. ignorance is the best thing we have to learn to live in this world.. Note: talk about people putting fake experience n get job in IT ..

[@ArthiPrem]

Thank you so much for the well explained comment… l

[@nishadhri]

Simply superb

[@katana_3558]

So true tamil people don't help among themselves...not sure why ....I have been mostly helped by telugu people...when I first came to the US I was helped so much by telugu families..even though I didnt give anything in return ... the jealously among tamil people is next level...

[@aksharam126]

Very good thoughtful topic. One main problem here, is when we have older kids, since we parents studied in a different schooling system from a different country, we really dont know how the school, colleges work here. But when we ask someone, chumma Ketom nu etho answer panranga. But they dont give real inputs. But after watching your video, it provoked the thought I already had and I here by take the oath that I will share whatever I know if someone reaches to me for help.🙂👍

[@sparklingspices]

I asked a lot of times about schooling systems in the USA with my neighbor, and they just replayed, "Go to the school apps and check that it simple." Then I realized here that no one is not ready to help each other or giving the right information. For me, it takes 1 year to understand the schooling system( elementary schools, middle schools, high schools) syllabus, teaching methods......

[@ArthiPrem]

Very true Though u asked people will not explain everything… most of them faced this 😐😐

[@priyarajan6503]

So true

[@karthikdathathri2565]

Such information can be shared in blogs so that people can get the information when they search for it in the internet. It could be simple procedures about utility connections/helplines, vehicle rental, information about nearest good medical facilities - alternative medicine like homeopathy etc., dos/don'ts for a newcomer to the country, explain some common laws/rules which people should be aware of, awareness about crime spots so that people can avoid. All these are information which one would have learnt it in a hard way, but we can make other people's life easier. P.S: I stay in India, but I used to ask such information in my college WhatsApp group about children education etc, very few only respond to it. For me, it is like general knowledge and some awareness. Thanks to Arthi and Prem for bringing up this topic. In India too, stories of still parents forcing into classes based on other kids is happening. It is our mindset which needs to change irrespective of the country we are in.

[@shobas6053]

Except money nothing I like about this country… People r not very social I feel so lonely and stressed.. In fact I live in a community where hundreds of Indians are living but no one talks casually or even smile.. They never let their kids play together and they feel like my kid is great and I don’t want to let her play with this kid that kid - these kind of attitude am seeing a lot.. OMG now am tired of these toxic things and completely out of it… really it feels bad and depressed…

[@ArthiPrem]

Hi sister True.. 😐😐

[@tamilsongsmixed6120]

Same , stressful life here

[@rekhasivaramakrishnan7658]

I'm based in MI, here we have one school called International Academy,many desis prefer to send their kids there,after 8 th grade...if our kids don't go there, they will enquire as if something bad happened to us🤣...oh why ur son didn't go there..blah,blah,my son went to school district high school only( bcoz he is interested into sports too,he was school captain)if we choose IA,it's more like our Namakkal school, students don't get time for sports,so we didn't even try there ,but ppl thought, oh you son didn't get selected??... After his 12 th grade, he went to US ARMY RESERVE Training too...now he is doing Engg in a reputed university, where all this INTERNATIONAL academy kids go...so finally we got what we want...what is the big deal in it,I really don't understand?🤔 Now the parents, don't even ask anything...they are totally🤐

[@mohamedrizwan9702]

Great topic Arthi & Prem! One more thing I noticed and faced here personally is having people have this super close friend circles and not being welcome enough to include any new friends into their circle. I came here to study masters and I don’t have a job in IT, so have always never been included in any circle for whatever reason. Not sure why though.

[@ArthiPrem]

😐😐

[@bsmoneyv7992]

I feel your pain bro, I am also from the non IT field , did my PhD here and so far no acceptance from fellow Indians.

[@bsmoneyv7992]

@@ArthiPrem I like the variety of topics you cover to address and share with the communities. I saw your Thai poosam alert at Lewis center Sai temple. Thanks for the alert, I attended and it was very grand and had some quality time. Keep up the good work. By the way, I live in Columbus too.

[@mohamedrizwan9702]

Arthi & Prem - You guys are just awesome and being so honest! You definitely set super high standards for our tamil samugam and happy to see one of us take the initiative. Huge fan of you guys! So much love to you ❤️

[@ArthiPrem]

Mohammed bro, very very happy about your kind wishes Thank u so much bro 🙏🙏

[@sakthishrajendran4264]

A very matured post Bro. I will try to follow them as much as possible. I had this question in mind, if we see a stranger get success then we celebrate but if it is Your friend who you like very much then we get depressed. This includes me , Why are we not celebrating our friends or relatives success ?. I think 🤔 it’s infused into us by our parents , relatives and teachers. They always compare us against a neighbor kid or relatives or a classmate. So we have think that I should do better than all my friends and relatives , that’s our yardstick. If we follow your point of not comparing our kids with others then our kids will not have this peer pressure.

[@RajagopalSankaranarayanan]

Arthi and Prem.. Very nice video as usual.. "Kumon" seems to be very famous among our communities I guess .. To be honest with you guys, you highlighted many important issues we have experienced in last 13+ years here in US.. To be honest with you guys, we experienced a lot of politics, peer pressure and once there was a time, we just literally had more american friends than our makkal, strangely we somehow felt very peaceful. 'Taking for granted' is a big problem as well. You mentioned four important issues. But things are changing. You guys are big part of it!

[@ArthiPrem]

Great words raja bro Thank you so much

[@jaiganesh1974]

Very true @arthiprem ji . No body shared about 401k when I reached USA. I always use to share the tips if someone comes here. Sharing is the way only way to strengthen our Tamil community

[@minillk]

True. I didn't know about 401K. Employer didn't provide details about as they have to contribute.

[@ArthiPrem]

Please check the below video for 410k kzbin.info/www/bejne/jIK1qqtngdmLZ5o

[@rajalakshmic7120]

ஆர்த்தி சொல்வது போல் ஷேர் செய்வது கௌரவ குறைச்சல் ஆகவே நினைக்கிறார்கள். இதை நான் அமெரிக்கா வில் என் மகன் வீட்டில் தங்கி இருக்கும் போது உணர்ந்தேன். ரொம்ப friend ஆக நினைத்தவர்கள் கூட அவர்கள் வீடு வாங்குவதோ வேறு கம்பெனி மாறுவதோ குழந்தைகள் படிப்பதோ அடுத்தவர்களிடம் அதுவும் நண்பர்களிடம் சொல்ல விரும்பாதது ஏன். சுயநலம் அதிகமாகி விட்டது என்று உணருகிறேன்.!!!

[@Paranikg]

True! True ! True! I always openly share with people not everyone. Sometimes it really hurts when people does it when you know them for years.

[@rajalakshmic7120]

@@Paranikg yes. That is true. I under stand.

[@ArthiPrem]

It’s happening everywhere in the usa Not sure why they are not sharing here

[@rajalakshmic7120]

@@ArthiPrem என்னை விட பெரிய ஆள் ஆக யாரும் வருவதை விரும்புவது இல்லை. அதனால் தான் தமிழர்கள் ரகசியம் காக்கிறார்கள். இதில் என் மகனும் அடக்கம்

[@spiritualfairy999]

Great topic. Highly appreciable. Dear friends, 1. Kindly distance yourself from greedy, competitive, jealousy people. Their negativity drains your energy. 2. Each child is blessed with unique talent. Find it and encourage them only in that field. Don't put too many burdens on them. 3. Teach values to your child before they turn 7.dont give gadgets to them. Instead take them out and spend more time in nature. Nature is the best teacher. 4. Education and marks alone will not shape your child's future. 5. End of the day, peace and satisfaction is more important. 6. Give more positive confidence to your child. (before that you fill yourself with more positivity.). 7. We can't change others, instead we should change. 8. There is no race happening here. So pls, don't run with those herd group. Stand outside the herd group and create your own unique, peaceful, blissful satisfied life. 9. Always less is more. Don't dump your house with more materials but fill it with real love, kindness and positivity.

[@selvamr5087]

Can't agree more! I'm very new to USA, moved in Sep'22 only. From, what i notice, Gujarat & Telugu people have very good sharing compared to Tamils. For some reasons, People from Tamil Nadu just don't want to bother about anyone.

[@rajalakshmic7120]

Yes

[@s.b.3001]

S. I wonder Y people frm tamilnadu r not United like other State people, seem to be very reserved, aloof 🤔

[@ArthiPrem]

True 😐

[@s.b.3001]

@@ArthiPrem My son is newly married in Texas, he (both) keeps telling me tat " all from Andhra and they start to communicate asking like "r u frm Andra". Then they slowly turnback 🤦 sometimes they feel lonely becos of this

[@ArthiPrem]

Yes so many people here from Andhra and eventually they form group between Andhra friends

[@humblesquirrel]

right point at the right time, this is very true..

[@ArthiPrem]

🙏

[@gsriram7]

This great to hear, thank you for calling out. One thing I feel about my Tamil community is taking offense and being judgemental. If we plan a tour there is always one person who takes offense on silly things and spoil the fun which I don't see with other state Indians

[@ArthiPrem]

Thanks for your comments bro

[@manikandans1799]

Why Tamil people don’t share knowledge especially in-terms of finance and investment? Here is the reason what I think, Most of Tamil people come to US with lots of debts( education, marriage, house loans and family responsibilities). It’s takes 3-5 year to settle down and look some positive progress in terms of financial. So generally we don’t show interest when someone talk about investment or new businesses and likewise we don’t share any financial information to others. Also people are not open minded to receive the perception of person information who shares rather people blame that they are showing off. We did this so many time to AP people. By the way this is complex topic, good that you spoke about this boldly. Keep rocking!

[@ArthiPrem]

Hi manikandan bro You showed the another dimension Very good point Thank you so much

[@srajsu4901]

Yes, it's true. More channels are informative in hindi and Telugu. But Tamil channel is very few.. you guys are different and doing an amazing job. Hats of to you. I am really a great fan of you guys. Thanks for sharing 👍👍. keep going we will always be with you.super👌

[@amutharamachandran7481]

Thank you sister and brother using for me

[@ArthiPrem]

You are welcome 😊

[@Anand-gb6we]

Sharing is Caring..🤗 Better we will create new telegram channel for usa tamil people to help each other.

[@ganesanmk1998]

Yes u r one hundred 💯 percent correct Tamilians are not sharing like Hindi and telugu people Moreover Gujarat people are more cooperative within gujarati people Also telugu people are cooperative Tamil people are not sharing We should inculcate sharing among tamil people

[@ramkumarthangamuthu6708]

Ayya i wanted to talk about this for last 13 years even when i was in Germany. Now i am being in US for 9 years but I felt being in connect with telugu people is better than tamil people. Tamil people are not flexible and have more complains and comparisons. Also main disadvantage is they want their own comfort everywhere. I am sorry i tried many years. Agree it or not we are pre judgmental. I am feeling more pressured here than being in India

[@ArthiPrem]

Agreed ram bro Many people said the same Its the time to start showing our unity and built our community as very strong

[@ramkumarthangamuthu6708]

I am trying and will keep on trying. 😊

[@ArthiPrem]

😊😊👏

[@prabinprabhakar4687]

The problem I have with sharing is ...I like to share things with likeminded ppl or ppl who are open to suggestions ...not everyone are open to understand ur point of view , and if they don't understand your point of view , they try to convince you with what they think...I usually don't divulge too much of my life and financial decision with others because they unintentionally have a negative effect on my decisions because it does not sync with theirs .. very few ppl are open minded ...indian society majorly have a herd mindset , where they blindly follow set pattern of decisions ....the quote 'live and let live' is very rare among us ...ppl should let others live their lives ...

[@ArthiPrem]

Agreed bro At least the problem is not ready to share even the basic things to the new comers or who don’t know about that

[@mukunds3144]

Great video! I would like to share my experience as well. Most of the people in USA(including non-Tamilians) ask my food preference (Veg or Non-Veg) in the first 1 or 2 meetings and I personally feel they ask this to indirectly find out my caste and based on that they decide if they can include me in their closer group or to maintain some distance.

[@ArthiPrem]

Personally i never faced the caste issue here But many mentioned the caste still exists in the usa within tamil community I will be away from them if someone approaches me caste basis சாதிகள் இல்லையடி பாப்பா 🙏🙏

[@email2niranjan]

I have had instances where people directly asked for "neenga enna?"

[@ArthiPrem]

Seriously bro Dont know why people still carrying caste after sees the world and how other country people living ☹️☹️

[@email2niranjan]

@@ArthiPrem often the most disappointing thing is, some of such folks who ask this are actually good people and good friends in nature, which we find out after sometime. But why such curiosity questions come in the very initial meets , is beyond me.

[@ArthiPrem]

😐😐

[@rktechio]

Prem mama… you spoke what’s in my mind. Well done … no unity amount our ppl as compared to other groups 😢😢… even sharing simple things which won’t affect anything for them😅😅… I hope this video makes some positive impact amount our ppl..

[@suren126126126]

How many of us know how to live a happy and peaceful life? None of us I would say.. Comparison mindset with peers you will never get peace of mind how much ever one make they will keep on comparing and finding fault with themselves.. Money and peace of mind are positively correlated but only to a certain extent! most people don't understand this.. People search happiness everywhere but happiness truly lies deep with in your hearts, search and find that and live with a happy and peaceful mind, by excluding/suppressing the toxic mind set of comparing your life with others and also comparing each and everything with your peers.. Btw The most difficult skill for a human is to find happiness within the heart, travel in that direction and find happiness and get into a yogi zone of peace!

[@vidhyavidhya6644]

Its so true. Can relate more with what you told(specifically when Arthy told like 2 or3 years back , I was like that). I also realized few things compared to 2 or 3 years back. Tamil people should be ready to share both on investments and visa options to explore.Life is to live happily and try to help others to live happily too.

[@informationiswealth9871]

Bro it's really a good discussion. I would like to share a few things here. 1. My father migrated from Mayavaram to Chennai 45 years ago. He knows Tailoring and he is educated up to 8th. Based on his experience and knowledge, he survived on his own but my father never ever involved me in Tailoring. Though my father is a number one Tailor in North Chennai. Now I am stuck in software doing some coding but not living a real life like my father. Not sure who will run the same Tailor business after him. So the change should come from Parents . As a parent now , I personally plan to teach them whatever i know from their childhood. I believe each parents should educate their children .

[@ArthiPrem]

Good point bro Thanks for your comments

[@Cacofonixravi]

அமேரிக்கா தமிழர்கள் எல்லோரிடமும் இயல்பாக பழக வேண்டும், மற்றும் அமேரிக்கா constitution படி வாழ வேண்டும். ஒரே கூட்டம் போல் இருக்க வேண்டாம். Be American not தமிழன்.

[@ArthiPrem]

Well said 👏👏

[@skr0nytbe389]

This problem is not happening outside India. Inside TamilNadu itself this attitude is growing heavily. There in Chennai itself, if you see Muslims business grow quickly, Marvadis also flourish well. But, you won't see much of Tamil people doing great in business. Because, no Tamil person trust other Tamil people. I too hate these kind of attitude.. I always be open to discuss, I always be open, I never follow others foot step for my kid. I honestly feel bad for being a tamilian.

[@Thankyouforever1]

Good topics, really happy to hear that… I thought I am the one who is going through lot…. But we faced lot… lot …… All is people are so selfish, ego problem and underestimate other people. I can say they have also superiority complex and inferiority complex. Also our tamil trying to copy North Indians but they never copy how they stick together their communities ( guju,Punjabis, Telugu, Bengalis etc…) We thought also moving, but I saw some other community moving from other state to our state. Finally we learned to live alone…after many years I cannot share everything in comments but I like you guys when arti speaks I felt same before many years

[@ramachandransridharan8208]

Nicenicecoiplekeepituphelpongpthersis verygood

[@dhanakumar3773]

I’m so glad you brought it up this topic Prem! This is exactly the reason why as Tamils we are not able to move forward as a Tamil community. I always feel it is easier to receive help and information from non Tamil people rather than Tamil people.

[@selvarasukannan8270]

I agree 500%

[@ArthiPrem]

Thanks true have to improve a lot

[@priyarajan6503]

We get so emotionally comforted by the first voice of Tamizhan when we come to the USA. But over a period of time, we just get connected to the people losing values,ethics and principles which we want to adopt and start living someone else's life. Correct point u mentioned. People connect but the genuineness and trust are fading away. So rightly said both of you. Kudos to you👌

[@Ssrids]

Very mature talk guys! It’s refreshing to see young Indian couple engaging in meaningful conversations 👏 Peer pressure is worse and it takes a lot of maturity to avoid influencing others as well as refraining from being influenced by them 🎉

[@ArthiPrem]

Thank you so much sister 🙏🙏

[@Samarnat01]

Very nice video Prem and Arthi. Worthy video Yes, we Tamils don’t help much when compared to other communities. In fact we say we are out of caste and creed, but Telugu people though they look at caste more, they are more helpful than Tamils. Sad but true.

[@ArthiPrem]

Thanks arun bro for your comments

[@vidyabalasubramanian9093]

Could connect with every word that you guys said Arthi & Prem....very very true....we should get out of this horrible attitude of constant comparison, it only brings everyone down...I thought we would escape all this when I came from India to US...but here too same attitude only... any community tamil, telugu or Gujarati, I think everyone should come together & help each other as Indians , rather than their community alone...

[@prabinprabhakar4687]

Yes even in india there is comparison....I think irrespective of geography or language it is innate trait of Indians 😂

[@rosesweet2405]

But here who wants to hear our stresses? Finding a friend itself is so hard and if we say our worries and stresses they might not want to continue our friendship and we have to always falsely portray ourselves to be positive and happy person

[@VikisKitchen1]

true dear. Most of us are stressed a lot by many stuffs like (thinking of old parents / inlaws) we feel sad.

[@rosesweet2405]

@@VikisKitchen1 Yes

[@ramkumarthangamuthu6708]

Every comment i see is praising telugu ppl even myself. Tamil guys pls come out of your barriers or our kids will learn telugu rather than tamil😂

[@ArthiPrem]

😂😂

[@vidhyasubramanian4935]

First time seeing Aarthi talking more than Prem .. Experience speaks 😊Even I was like you Aarthi earlier , now I am not following anyone .. I let my kids do what they want to do ..Now they are happy and so we

[@ArthiPrem]

Hi sister What you said is exactly true 👍👍

[@SKiv7604]

Bro, Health issues is also very important to discuss . Heard Covid vaccine makes more blood clots in blood stream. Awareness needed for proper health checkups, stress free life, nature dependent life, financial independence, outdoor activities, good relationship, supporting each other.

[@krishnagovindarajan9377]

Well said, same age group parents always tend to be materialistic and compare status education salary . Best would be to avoid groups,gossips and parties.

[@sudhasiva691]

I used to share and help but faced betrayal from 3 families in recent times .. not talking about kids .. but initial days settling in usa etc but people use and threw away after they get hang on to the community..

[@VikisKitchen1]

I too faced it. I felt being used and thrown many times in my beginning days.

[@katana_3558]

Bro it happens within family only ...when my nephew came to US I basically treated him like my own brother ..whenever I used to go to trips I will sponsor his complete trip.. Now he has got job in a top company but doesn't pick my call but Instagram ful posts than ...

[@ArthiPrem]

Yes.. so many people complain about this “used and thrown away” 🙁🙁

[@saravananr8494]

Really good video bro ,I too felt knowledge sharing lagging with Tamil people compare with others . I have struggled lot my initial time usa ( MO)

[@ArthiPrem]

Thanks bro Yes we have to improve a lot in this area 👍

[@saravananr8494]

@@ArthiPrem 👍

[@shreeja3320]

மிகவும் அருமையான பதிவு, இங்கு பிறரோடு ஒப்பிட்டுப் பார்க்கும் குணம் உடைய நிறைய பேரை பார்க்கிறேன்.இதை கேட்டதுக்கு பிறகாவது நிறைய பேர் ஒப்பிட்டுப் பார்த்து அவர்களை கஷ்டத்திற்குள்ளாக்காமல் இருந்தால் சரி

[@ArthiPrem]

Nandri 🙏

[@washedbythebloodofJesusChrist]

Sharing is the good idea but its not there...only few innocent ppl will do..I didnt see this even among church people..they keep all secret..i asked one friend to share the piano teacher number (where his son learn one on one)..till today he didnt share the number yet..they want only their kids to shine..these days ppl are cunning and selfish..

[@ArthiPrem]

Very true Best thing avoid those people and we should search ourselves and explore ourselves We can learn so many things by doing this

[@Paranikg]

Sorry to say this Tamil people are like that “ Nandu story” Manivannan told in Rythm movie. My husband came in 2011 early. Most of his friends did green card we didn’t even have no clue. Everyone got green card recently, we did late. They said we did already , you didn’t do it still. Same with everything. Even people gets house they don’t share. Really felt bad. Lot of times felt that loneliness. Honestly says telugu people even they came to know each other recently they helps a lot between them. Not tamil. Even they knew Tamil they don’t speak in front of us. They purposefully speak in English.

[@ds-le8ns]

Good topic. Moved to U.S. years back. I can relate to all that you said. Can you please do a video about the best age(62 or 65) to retire for Indian people who plan to move to India after retirement? Everything is blindfolded for people with older kids, don't even know anyone who retired and went back to Tamilnadu and got social security. Will appreciate a video about all related to retirement for people with single earnings till retirement.,medicare, deductions if any if retiring in India etc?? Will be helpful for people to decide about retirement and moving back to India.

[@jeyanthibalamurugan5983]

Good topic to initiate now. We are on same boat, kids are moved out, feel lonely now a days. Planning to move to India stay there for few months with SS

[@sumia6136]

60 to 65 yrs is a right age to return back and settle in india but straight move to a retirement premium home instead of going for a separate apartment.... nice neighborhood is important and if you are from TN move to a city which has gud infrastructure like flights,hospitals,premium supermarket,restaurants and above all gud weather and friendly people and many NRIs settle in coimbatore as the 1st choice.

[@rajaselvam1583]

Unsecured mind Grim face , they wont even return a smile/or say hi they avoid talking tamil they wont even share info they wont even share bad experiences..that need to be avoided Telugu+Guju+Mallu...are good in n/w TN >> CRAB mindset !!

[@ArthiPrem]

Yes even i have seen in many places People starting avoid speaking in tamil though everyone is tamil people in the discussion 😐😐

[@subhashenimalepati9540]

Definitely it’s good to speak in our mother tongue ONLY when we are surrounded with same language spoken people. But I have good opinion on Tamil over other language speaking people at work place. Tamil people never speak in Tamil luggage at work but if you notice Telugu or Hindi speaking people does that and it really annoy other language people. By the way my mother tongue is Telugu and I born and brought up in Tamil Nadu. So I speak both languages and mingle with both language people. This is my opinion

[@ArthiPrem]

Work place when u are in aboard We should avoid speak in mother tongue It will annoying the other people and its not good work culture too

[@subhashenimalepati9540]

Exactly!

[@rajaselvam1583]

@@ArthiPrem True....!!! vadakans+Telugu yell at local languages in pantry citi/oracle..crowded with Indians.

[@sharanc2389]

My friend told me to invest in stocks finally both of us made only losses :)

[@myselfstar8019]

What about Eft for simple long term like at least 2 years?

[@nishap7107]

Hi Arthi prem can you do the thubnails In English.. i am from Kerala and I always watch your vedios.. but cannot read tamil… I think if you do your vedios in English you will get more reach .. my opinion ☺️

[@maniaravindan]

Tamil diaspora is highly diverse than the Telugu and Gujarati people in the US. Due to the high urbanization and liberalization of TamilNaud people from different castes and social economic backgrounds found their way to the US, unlike Gujaratis or Telugu. You can classify them into 2 or 3 castes, which makes them get along due to the same caste. We Tamils do not see the caste rather we get along by the linguistic association. Kongu, Madurai, Nellai, Chennai, etc., Moreover we Tamils feel shy about sharing our challenging situation, also our society does not appreciate materials. If you see other major Indian diaspora shows off more than we Tamils do. They are the ones accused more of corruption and find loopholes in the system to exploit. We should be more open and share information among ourselves more than we do now. Thamizhar enror inamundu, thaniye avarkor gunam undu. We are different.

[@ArthiPrem]

Yea bro i agreed We have the unique characteristics We never see religion and caste Still Some people are doing discrimination in name of caste but relatively low than other states But we have the other problems which should address in order to show our unity 👍👍

[@WomensArtandCraft]

Yes even I facing same issue, I stopped this as well, will do what we want do for our kids. stress free life.

[@rajasekarj5789]

Nice video Guys.Most of the Tamil folks Don’t share, think we are insecure;Lighting Another’s candles Adds light.Comparison; Felt the same in my early age days.Maturity/Age gets the wisdom in this.Spend time if your child gets old;I am trying this;Connect with friends,Tamil sangam,Learn new skills.

[@SKiv7604]

Bro, Tamil mandram politics pathi pesuga bro. 😅 I know, if you talk they won’t support in future. But no.1 politics group in the name of Tamil mandram…

[@gps2028]

Very good topic that you addressed as an young couple. Way to go! Never compare kids and never indulge in kids comparison conversation at all.. Also, deep personal information sharing should be cautiously done with only the ones you trust the most to avoid unwanted gossiping behind your back. Also, just ignore anything negative and live your life the way decide with no peer pressure..One tip that I offer . it's better to expand the circle of friends outside your ethnicity to have friends that are from different ethnicity. North south america, Europe and other asian countries etc.. This helped me a lot over the years. It's always good to get perspective from different cultures and not just restrict to Tamil or Indians only. The social life is much much better when you have different circles. All of us need to have the balance in friends from our culture and other cultures equally.

[@ArthiPrem]

Very good advice Thank you so much

[@vikramg7002]

Just loved this Video from both of you Arthi and Prem..I will be traveling to US soon will surely reach out to you guys as I have lots and lots of queries..

[@ArthiPrem]

Congrats 🎈 Thanks 🙏

[@parveenbanu8845]

Our Tamil community in US make their own groups inside Tamil sangam based on they own a house, they have GC..etc., Please do welcome new comers and guide them to grow as well. Think others also coming here like u with dreams. They are not taking your money or things. Guide our community to grow as well. So that our children will have a good group in future. Have to learn from Telugu community.

[@ArthiPrem]

Thanks for your valuable comments Unity is our strength We shouldn’t exclude anyone

[@Andal-ch]

வெளிநாட்டில் மட்டுமல்ல நம் தமிழ்நாட்டில் இப் பிரச்சனை தலைவிரித்து ஆடுகிறது. ஒருத்தருக்கு ஒருத்தர் எந்த விதமான உதவியும் செய்வதில்லை ..பொறாமையும் பழி வாங்கலும் அதிகமாக உள்ளது.. எல்லா விஷயங்களும் compare செய்வது அதிகமாக உள்ளது.. உங்களைப் போன்ற பிரபலமானவர்கள் அதிகமாக தயவுசெய்து இதைப் பற்றி பேச வேண்டும். நன்றி. வாழ்க வளமுடன்🙏

[@ArthiPrem]

Kandipa mikka nandri 🙏🙏

[@AkilanJ]

Great points, especially related to the points about sharing..

[@ArthiPrem]

Thanks🙏

[@thanjaipalani8294]

Great topic. Thanks a lot! God bless you guys 🙏🙏

[@ArthiPrem]

Thanks🙏

[@marcnadesan7986]

Yes it's a big issues.Sharing the information.Correct time you done this video.From you I already learned lots of information.Any how I live in London.I think new generation they are changing.Any how lots more to do.Welldone friends.keep it up.

[@ArthiPrem]

Thank you so much For your kind comments 🙏🙏

[@antonymrajesh]

Arthi and Prem, you are doing an exceptional thing. Way to Go ! As you said, Tamil Community here is not united as other Indian communities. Somehow i'm not getting connected with the system here, maybe i'll return back to India sooner than later

[@sreenivasannp8835]

👌 Nice topic appreciate your sincere efforts . You can also collect and keep list of Tamil speaking Doctors, attorneys, realtors to share our community .

[@ArthiPrem]

Wow good option Will do it 👍👍

[@elagopi]

@@ArthiPrem yes this would be helpful for all

[@revathym7129]

Arti and Prem , congrats first of all, I liked your channel, I belive all majority people face the same issue..even in my own community two tamilians they are full of ego..can't even approach they behave completely superior..that's feel like so hurting , our neighbor white guy behaves better than tamil ppl.even when I get a chance ,in out of curiosity I ask this our community why there is no knowledge sharing instead of funny jokes out of our lifestyle and commenting.my husband from orissa he completely stopped going because of this attitude tamil ppl, I can't blame him, initially I had big struggle why he is not blending, later as Arti told time passby will understand what my husband did was right and much appreciated.good that you brought this topic to discuss...no one is helping each other how to apply h1b visa for relatives even they are in india..is there any consulting company do so please share those information will be much helpful grow our relatives obviously in one day our community will be more stronger..and knowledgable.

[@ArthiPrem]

Thanks sister For the detailed comments Will be helpful for the people

[@mc_uday]

Thanks for the video. 👌👌👌 It's 100% true bro

[@ArthiPrem]

🙏🙏

[@zamp59]

Today Arthi has scored up as she is talking from heart and what she went thru. It is there all around the world unfortunately. 😢

[@aalikabaali]

Dear Aarthi Prem. I disagree with your point that dollar is the key reason to migrate here. Not really. Most people come here to escape the hustle and bustle of everyday life in India. The politics at work, the competition in every day life and the constant comparisons and the social structure that caters to rich people in India is the reason most educated people like to move here. Life here is much simpler here in the USA. I am sure you didn’t grow up in a big metropolis like Chennai where demands of life is quite different from a small city or town in Tamil Nadu. I feel like people in India in the current scenario are more stressed compared to Tamil sonthangal in the USA. I do agree our biggest downfall is the lack of sharing several things in common (be it business, making money etc), but you have to understand this is the general habit we bring from our own state/country. We are definitely a good example of Tamil nandu story. We need to stop fearing others and be ready to share things. After all we are in this together. Prosperity is beautiful only when it is shared not when we try to keep it ourselves. Tamils here in the USA need to let go off greed and jealousy.. 😊

[@ds-le8ns]

I agree. I grew up in Chennai. Relatives just create family politics. Few friends are just about how successful they are than you. When visiting India, some even try to alienate us.

[@rajalakshmic7120]

இதே குழந்தை problem coloumbus ல் என் மருமகள் இருக்கும் போது தமிழர்களுக்குள் தன் குழந்தையை திட்டு கிறாள் என்று வந்து அந்த தாய் சொன்னது மனசு கஷ்டமாக இருந்ததாக என் மருமகள் கூற கேட்டேன். ஏன் இப்படி??

[@kruthikamohan7858]

Please discuss topics about losing our relationship with our family members and friends when we live in USA .... Because I feel after I came to USA I felt losing our close friends and family members because of various factors ...

[@seetharamanvinayagam1048]

I live in Ithaca, NY. It is a very small town. It is very rare to see Tamil people here, and life is very boring, and I am somehow surviving, but I don't know how.

[@ArthiPrem]

There are lot of opportunities on other cities where more indians are there You will get the good city life and more indian restaurants and temples You will not feel bore

[@tvl.002]

Nailed it Arthi Prem...we are facing another issue too...we have only child. Due to some personal problems we have decided to have one child. But I face questions from close friends and strangers every single day about this. 1.Why didn't you want second? Are you lazy to handle two? 2. What is stopping you? Finance or career? 3. The strange question is " Did you stop with one , so you don't have to spend more time and money with two kids for classes? Have you decided to save for college? 4. Why are you selfish? You guys don't care about your kid not having sibling? When I try to make my friends understand about my situation...for every meet up and phone call they give comments like this 1. Ungakallu enna just one kid...you have lot of time. 2. If we are trying to book tickets as a group they say you are lucky you have to spend less 3.More annoying is they talk directly to my kid and say ask your parents for sibling. Aren't you lonely? 4. One atrocious comment is" think in later stage if you loose your only kid unfortunately...you guys will be lonely"😪😡 They either try to make us feel guilty or mock us. Please do cover this.

[@ArthiPrem]

OMG .. really felt very bad while read your message Basic things shouldn’t interfere others personal, i dont know why people are asking or criticize these things ☹️☹️☹️

[@maniaravindan]

It seems you are in toxic group, rather you should leave them.

[@revathym7129]

I also faced similar sort of question , just to judge you,they ask questions, there is nothing coming out after talking to them, if I have been different states and different culture I feel I am more comfortable being in the group discussions, instead of judging each time to Start the conversation..I many time asked how to do saving and tax. Most of the time our community ppl Saya don't know..but which we don't want to discuss all the time they do..may be the reason I feel many time thank God I am far from our community ppl

[@tgoderamesh]

உண்மையை கூறவேண்டும் என்றால் எல்லோருமே இங்கு சம்பாதிக்க தான் வருகின்றோம். எவ்வளவு சம்பாதிக்க வேண்டும் என்பது அவரவர் தேவையை பொறுத்து. அந்த அளவை அடைந்ததும் யாரும் திரும்பி இந்தியா போக விரும்புவதில்லை. அவர்களை கேட்டால் அப்பொழுது கூறும் காரணங்கள் பிள்ளைகள் படிப்பு, இன்னும் கொஞ்ச வருஷம் இருந்தால் சுற்றத்தாருக்கு இன்னும் செய்யலாம் இப்படி பலப்பல.

[@ArthiPrem]

True bro But its the different topic.. while we are here atleast we should be unite as much as possible

[@tgoderamesh]

@@ArthiPrem 100% true the unity is not in our Tamil community. Whenever family get together happening always talking about kids school and extra curricular activities. Also if one person grow others are not appreciating here always demotivating and pulling down. But other Telugu and Hindi communities they are sharing and helping each tiger and growing as community. It’s hard to accept but true.

[@sxthiagu]

Hi my sister in laws are it here for 40 years their Children

[@sxthiagu]

Hi if we want Gentle life for our kids India is best

[@rpal8933]

மிகவும் சரி. தமிழர்களிடம் இது மிக மிக மிக மிக உண்மை.

[@rajnaga01]

Also bro when someone from Tamil community expire we can’t even collect 100k for their spouse and kids 😢 in Gofund whereas other communities are easily able to overcollect the amount.

[@ArthiPrem]

Agreed bro.. 😐😐

[@vini_kartik]

Very good video!.. thanks for throwing light into this matter!

[@ArthiPrem]

Thanks🙏

[@senthilkumararumugamsubram5907]

Everyone life is unique question paper..If we try to copy other's, then we'll fail 100%. So without comparison, live happily your life..I follow this, so everyone can try...

[@ArthiPrem]

Yes senthil bro In simple words we shouldn’t live others life