Amnesia, Fugue, Identity - Types of Dissociative Disorders

[@baileymoran8585]

I have CPTSD with dissociative features. I have a lot of ‘gap s’ in my memory and I ‘lose time’ sometimes. I never remember what I did. I never remember what happened at all. But I have in the past reacted to old traumas like a flash back, but it’s one that lasts for several days where I apparently get very aggressive and defensive like someone is going to hurt me. I will do things like take off and end up driving ti a different state. I’m not pleasant to be around when like that so usually nobody knows I’m going anywhere. That doesn’t happen now that I am married but it’s terrifying knowing that I’m just checked out for days at a time, in a hyper-vigilant state that goes beyond my usual hyper-vigilance. I’m still afraid if it ever happens again I will end up in jail or killed because I’m so emotional and reactionary. But I have not had an episode like that in years. I will still frequently not remember what I was dumb for hours and I am told my mannerisms seem off sometime, but not like that. I will seem sort of flighty, or I will be much more social than I usually am, or more open about personal things. I may also just have different body language and sometimes I pick up a northern accent, like you would hear in upstate New York… somewhere I visited once when I was 10. But now that I have mostly processed some of the bigger traumas I know about from adulthood and childhood, I don’t have to worry about ending up yelling and fighting my way across the east coast. I’m now around the age that many DID patients get diagnosed so I’m very afraid one day someone will come up to me and think I’m someone with a different name and info because that will open a whole new can of worms. I have not wanted to explore the gaps in my childhood. I don’t want to know why I don’t remember anything about the city and school I was in from 8-11. I don’t want to know why I remember first depersonalizing when I was 7 and at a camp ground with a horse stable. I don’t want to know what happened before I got adopted or where a very faint scar on the back of my knee came from that has been there since before I met my adoptive family. Nor do I want to know why my mother has asked me, unprompted, if I didn’t remember something really traumatic happening, if I’d want to know about it. She doesn’t know I dissociate. I would depersonalize in our back yard for hours and just lie in the grass. I would step out of myself and see myself lying there almost. It was weird but I couldn’t really control it, and I honestly didn’t hate it. I thought everyone did it. Mom thinks I was just watching the clouds and that’s what it will stay for her sake and mine. I assume it’s something in my file from the state, and I assume nothing really bad happened during the big gap, beyond just moving after having some early trauma. So I am afraid to pursue my dissociation more in depth.

[@elliedupont2269]

I think the video is informative but at times it is hard to listen to the talker discussing doubts about the reality of DID. My sister and I both suffered over ten years of domestic violence and other forms of abuse at the hands of our step father, which was proven in court. We later became estranged and upon reconnecting with each other we both discovered we had been given diagnosis of DID by two separate mental health teams in two separate parts of the country. I am still coming to terms with my DID and I think you will find that most people with true DID do not boast about their disorder and will do their best to hide it, even from themselves.

[@georgialeigh4946]

I have been denining anything is wrong for years from.dv abuse my current partner knows something is wrong ie I can't remember certain memories from the trauma and now I'm scared

[@ritamariekelley4077]

I couldn't agree more and fugue best describes what happens to me when cPTSD gets symptomatic. I call it "black jello." I am paralysed. I can't think, I can't concentrate. It's a horrible brain fog. I don't physically leave, but it's as though I'm not here. I had your background with both of my birth parents. I don't have an alter but there is a art of my brain that has locked away the memories and associated feelings and emotions.

[@getschwifty5271]

They doubt because there's a ton of malingering in that disorder.

[@lblack1961]

I'm having difficulty with this type of fugue and amnesia always being associated with DID, with a shift into distinct "personas". I feel like there needs to be a spectrum of both fugue and amnesia (and other things like depersonalization), because I think there is chronic existence of this in individuals who do not have or exhibit or experience distinct personas as in DID.

[@thebrosoflaughter]

I work with kids and want to get into learning more to expand my knowledge on different things i might see and this is extremely insightful for me.

[@liligonzalez4725]

Story of my life. Smile.

[@Name-ps9fx]

In my earphones, the left-right audio is reversed...green shirt guy is in my right ear, white shirt guy is in my left ear. My earphones work ok during other videos.

[@TheMentalBreakdown]

We are working on the audio. Thanks for the comment.

[@jennyB07]

Same for me

[@candytiger644]

Just been diagnosed with Acute Encephalopathy, after a weekend of tripping into a complete fugue state. Was Bay flighted because they thought I had been suffering a massive stroke.. so I can't remember anything from the 18th until the 20th.i suffer from other psych disorders as well.. I honestly feel like I am losing my mind..

[@NerakGreen]

What do u call it when someone says a blackout makes them feel like they’re inside of their own head, like in a tunnel or viewing from a peep hole or television set to the real world, as their external self explodes on violence and rage to some unremembered trigger? That happens to me more often than it should. I’d like to know if there is a medical term for it. Once I knew what panic attacks were I was able to laugh through them while asserting my safety and fineness. Maybe if I figure out what these episodes are, I can self treat those too.

[@liligonzalez4725]

The worst part is going outside awake and instantly seeing blurry tunnel vision. The only thing clear vision is directly In front of you. A dreamy nightmare. 😢

[@TheChroniclesOfYarnia]

I am waking from a dissociative fugue state and I do not feel fantastical. I feel very regular. And there is no real data on this, I feel very alone

[@UniverseofDominion]

These mans saying mhm and right at everyything is going to give me a fugue

[@domenicocavaliere751]

I really like this video a lot I just like maybe I’m more well-defined statement on what interfering does and how that comes in to play with mystics as you put it as is in Kabbalah and or as opposed to the unintentional dissociative states

[@wisemiik]

Not going to lie the guy on the right, kind of annoys me because it seems like he doesn’t believe that it is real, from someone who suffers from the disorder myself I can definitely confirm that it is, you could easily say that you don’t know if anybody is faking any of the disorders in the day and age of Google, where somebody can easily look up the symptoms.

[@myralhf]

What is taking pla ce in the mind at that intersection where (1) dissociation happens and they are (2) imagining somewhere else? Who.What.where.when.how? Is it chemical? Automatic? Conscience? Intentional? Relinquishing? Resolve? Willing? Who is deciding, leading? If they are creating a new identity, parts of the brain cognisant of money, maybe bank accounts...just not clear how that works to actually pull it off? Hope somebody answers please....

[@juliaaliaga2399]

Hello Myra Harrell Fleming Do you mean all this when talking about dissociative identity disorder (DID) or another dissociative disorder?

[@MymindW]

I have vague memory about my childhood but not too vague. Just can not recall anything of value except some few moments. I even do not have many things to talk about with people about my past. Does it count?

[@TheMentalBreakdown]

Thanks for the comment. That does not necessarily count. These conditions typically occur following some type of trauma. Simply not remembering details from the past is not necessarily the same thing as a dissociative fugue.

[@myralhf]

A side question...i see you use sound defusing squares on your wall...is that for sound buffing? Does it work in that pattern?

[@Xx_Eric_was_Here_xX]

how does it sound?

[@Hollienoelle1987]

That happened to me recently. The fugue.

[@kevinbissinger]

lol at the guy who thinks marijuana is a cause and not a self-treatment for the people he's dealing with and then uses ritualistic spiritual practices as his example

[@emilysmith5130]

the literal difference i feel between smoking and not smoking is i want to be dead when i don’t smoke. when i do smoke i don’t want to be dead as much!! it helps with my depression. doesn’t effect my every day life. there’s no difference in my personality or ability to do things when i am high on weed. there’s no memory issues, there’s no slowness. there’s no bad side effects. literally tastes good and makes me happier. like don’t say weed can affect u like that when it literally can’t. the only thing it can do is kill brain cells and sperm. i’m not stupid tho so i don’t have that issue. maybe the people that are stupid that smoke weed we’re always stupid. also it’s not like we need more people in this world so who gives a shit about low sperm lmao

[@bobSeigar]

Weed will not effect you right away. It will form a habit and slowly change your behaviours. I used to use to to treat chronic depression, and it ended it a form of psychosis. (Marijuana induced psychosis). Weed can be great, just be careful.

[@emilysmith5130]

@@bobSeigar trust me i know, i’ve been smoking for 7 years now so i know all about what it can do, thank you for looking out tho and educating people

[@bobSeigar]

@@emilysmith5130 Great to hear, I just want the best for my fellow humans

[@adjjal]

I'm in the same position as u. I really understand everything u have said.. Smoking is the only thing keeping me going rn. I know I don't want to be dependent on it forever, but in this moment it's the only thing I can find that calms me. And I know I can't go back to inpatient, that wouldn't be good for me.

[@emilysmith5130]

@@adjjal i’ve never met anyone that’s been in the same position as me. i felt like i was the only one.

[@PeytonPeytonPeyton1]

Too quiet , the sound quality for video is hard to hear it’s like mumbles

[@cht2162]

As a kid, even my dog didn't like me.

[@emilysmith5130]

not this guy saying weed has an effect on the brain like that i’m ???

[@wisemiik]

Stay humble brotha in white shirt, your arrogance, radiates loud through your mannerisms.

[@tyweeden3215]

1000th view😀

[@Dr.Bright]

Good job!! 👏