An Honest Convo About Shame

[@itsgrace]

FREE TOYS OR GIFT CARDS FOR TOYS! Everyone who signs up to my giveaway with Bellesa wins something! Get yourself a SHAMELESS treat! www.shopbboutique.co/vibe/gracehelbig-yt

[@jasey5]

"You just got thuuuumped" 10/10

[@kellinomnom]

I Got %60 off! Thank you!

[@scouts92]

thank youuuu omg

[@piercemybb]

You're an awesome lady.....

[@itsgrace]

@@kellinomnom hell yeah!

[@egv1Geo]

In a sea of terrible content on social media, that makes you feel ashamed about yourself, your body, your lack of accomplishemnts, here comes Grace being open and sharing about her feelings while also educating all of us who watch her! You are a breath of fresh air and you should be so proud of yourself!

[@itsgrace]

thank you for being here!

[@elizabethevanskiikka2184]

Grace is my OG parasocial friend and im so grateful for her 13 years later ❤️

[@johnpaulsen207]

Ditto, she and Mamrie were constant companions during the shut-down. Since then I have not missed one episode of TMGW and their offspring.

[@noakessimon]

Oh no Grace, so sorry to hear about Goose - thanks for sharing her with us and what a great life you gave her.

[@itsgrace]

💖

[@katrabbit]

@@itsgrace I remember when you first got Goose and we were honored for you to introduce her to us. Such a sweet and goofy soul. I hope the memories you made together help you through this time and her love will be with you always. 🤍🤎

[@allentowngal4769]

Grace... I'm a 67 yo woman. IT IS SO EXCITING to see a young woman be not only open about shame, but sex toys too!!? I'm the youngest of 7 kids, yet sex was never discussed...weird huh? Your new bravado is A WONDERFUL by-product of such a horrible health crisis. You seem to be experiencing something most women dont do until around the age 50+. It's the I DONT GIVE A RATS ASS WHAT ANYONE FUCKING THINKS stage of life. REJOICE!! It takes most women too long to get past the "having to be nice" we've been taught. Look at the great strength you have now! ...and in the loss of your precious pup...I'm so sorry for the sudden emptiness in your heart. They give us so much love and we are lucky for the time they give us. You deserve that love like we all do.

[@itsgrace]

This is amazing, thank you 💖🥹

[@ambermiddleton9969]

I am SO sad to hear of Goose’s passing. She was a special soul. You are so loved.

[@titlepaige7334]

the spiral of shame when you put yourself out there while also having shame for not succeeding is so brutal

[@itsgrace]

BRUTAL

[@sazlewis]

I am a therapist, apparently ‘qualified’ to talk about the Feelings Things, and believe me, you did a great job. Shame stuff is the hardest, and vulnerability is the one hundred percent the tonic. Shame thrives in the shadows, and vulnerability.. turns the lights on? (Sure). Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re acing it. Also, I’m so sorry about Goose. What a gal. ❤️

[@itsgrace]

thank you!!

[@erikamargis4518]

You’re fucking crushing it and I’m so impressed with the growth you’ve made in these past few years. It’s so refreshing seeing you just talk and be you and see you not hold back. I love it!

[@itsgrace]

💓💓

[@maltezachariassen7496]

I once had a professor explain shame as "when you feel that you don't live up to the person OUGHT to be" and that kinda stuck with me. For me shame has always been some sort of feeling of disappointing my ideal self.

[@itsgrace]

yes very much that!

[@laceycahill]

As someone who has spent 30+ years feeling immense shame for what feels like purely existing, this is very relatable content. I've been on my own journey of trying to learn to like myself, because well, I haven't ever, really. Learning to be vulnerable and talk about things and not just running and hiding is totally against my nature, but I'm trying. I'm here for more of this content on feelings, they're scary and uncomfortable, thank you for sharing yours with us. Hearing someone else talk about about it helps those of us that also struggle with it feel less alone

[@itsgrace]

💓

[@amasterofone]

The number of times I nodded in this video: ♾️ Also the concept of the internalized other literally blew my mind wide open

[@itsgrace]

saaaame

[@genericplantlife]

I don't know if it's social anxiety or shame, but I find it very hard to exist in public or even in my own home when there are other people around. The self-consciousness about my looks, my actions, my words, the way I speak, the way I smell, my microexpressions and unconscious movements just dial up to 100 in the vicinity of other people - even people I love and trust. I am very much an "I do not wish to be perceived" person irl. I can't even help a stranger in public or speak up for someone because shame (or overwhelming self-consciouness and desire not to be seen or heard) holds me back. But then I feel extra shame for not being helpful when I could have been. Anyway great video! 😂

[@itsgrace]

yes I relate! I think we have to start being nicer to ourselves, ACK

[@user-br3ty9rt1m]

felt 😩

[@corvidsoup4836]

Hi internet friend! I may not know you irl but I definitely relate to this pretty hard. It took my anxiety peaking last year, and the conscious decision to make "compassion" my word to focus on this year, for me to start letting some of this go. I am still cautious and guarded about revealing how my brain works to some extent; adults inadvertently instilled a fear of judgement that led to me feeling a need to hide my neurodivergent traits as a child. And I have to give credit to my younger coworkers who I view as being much freer and open about who they are for showing me by example that it's ok to be you. But I just want you to know that you're not alone in this feeling, and struggling with this does not make you a bad person. I hope you can start to find, in small moments of trust, more acceptance and less fear of being criticized. I have a hard time knowing how to help people sometimes, and it takes practice for me to feel like I can follow through on even simple interactions, but I know learning and practicing is only going to make it easier the next time. I wish you the best of luck on your journey through life! You got this!

[@idkman02]

why did you just describe exactly how i feel. is there any solution to this because i‘m tired..

[@P4Stalot]

Yep, me, too. Until I realized I was autistic (which I am not implying you are, I am just explaining this discovery is what jump started my learning) and potentially completely misreading everybody's body language, so I started purposely assuming everybody was thinking kind thoughts, and it helped me be kinder to myself. Yeah, I might be wrong sometimes, but at least I'm not constantly mentally punishing myself anymore for something that isn't even necessarily happening! Social anxiety is, like, the devil on my shoulder.

[@tigertan5]

Love you. I’ve been watching you since I was like 12 or something. Here I am at 27, feeling genuinely sorry for you loss. This was such a brave video

[@msalisbury]

The thing about “why are you bringing it up now when it’s always been there?” too is you get USED to hearing that voice to the point where it’s just in the background and it’s accepted that it’s there. The moment you bring it up is you trying to remove or repair that portion of your inner being. Especially when it’s not serving you (if it ever did) and absolutely when it’s contributing to making your life harder. Life is hard enough as it is, trying to make it livable shouldn’t be seen as bad or negative. Great video, great concept, and I look forward to the next chapter of your space here on the Internet!

[@itsgrace]

Exactly this!

[@SethInNYC]

In the spirit of vulnerability, I want to share some things that I admire about you, Grace. I know there is a separation in my saying this as I do not truly know you, but I know enough about you having watched you since your days in Brooklyn to appreciate and admire your intellect. I admire how adept and inclined you are to research what you do not know, and more so what you fear. I admire that you take your knowledge and apply it to your own experience, and that you share your discoveries with the community you have built by being your authentic self. I admire that you don’t stop at learning; you put your knowledge into practice; you DO the thing. You put in the work and I know that takes bravery. Speaking of bravery, articulating your feelings (big feelings!) so beautifully onto the internet is no small feat, especially for someone who is confronting her own patterns of internalized shame. And as if all that wasn’t impressive enough, you tackle these dense subjects with levity and satire, allowing those of us lucky enough to learn from you to relate with your message and carry on with feelings of optimism and community. I hope this next statement is taken the right way: You are a gifted comedian and a true artist, but I will always consider you an intellectual first, not because your comedy or art is less-than, but because I believe your brilliance stems from the way in which you navigate, experience, challenge, learn from, and share the world through your own lens. I am not alone in thinking the world is a better place because of you. I know that was a lot… but it’s been on my mind for a while now and I am working to share my feelings as well. ✨ SEX TOYS! 😮‍💨😂

[@itsgrace]

Wow… I’m blown away… thank you so much for these incredibly kind words 🥹

[@AKM-o3s]

I really related to the part where you shared about how being vulnerable helps you. Something that helped me with this was the incredible book by Amanda Palmer called the art of asking. The audiobook read by her in particular. While it's billed as talking about how she as a musician and artist connected with her fans to ask for them to fund her music, it's really her talking about her life, her work, and her incredible desire to live connected to others in a truly honest and vulnerable way. Something that before reading never clicked for me as something that not only could be done, but that was hugely necessary as like, a person on the planet. Maybe not on the huge scale that she does- but in a day to day to the people I deal with kind of way. Connection is a huge shame buster. It helps us see that beauty isn't the thin shiny facades we are taught to cultivate- it's in the deeply rooted everything else that we all have in common.

[@itsgrace]

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@sarbearr4]

Grace as dumb as it sounds I out loud started fighting that shame/ guilt if the voices in my head are going to be loud my self love will be louder. It starts off very quiet and doubtful and eventually I just started speaking them louder. Maybe it helps that I disassociated with those voices a long time ago but if I was taught guilt and shame so deeply I internalized it then I will have to hear self love work louder to relearn it. I even do things for future me and thank past me it’s been weirdly helpful to think of myself as setting myself up for success even if that means just filling my bottle of water for the morning. I’m very here for this journey, Grace.

[@itsgrace]

love the idea of setting yourself up for success

[@suviwanswett1907]

Seriously Helbig, always making everything extraordinarily excellent ❤️💙

[@theoriginaledi]

I'm so sorry to hear about Goose. I have a cat who's very naughty and bitey and hates everyone except for me (and even me some days) but I love her very much and I dread the day I have to let her go. Because of my experiences with her, I can truly understand your complex feelings about Goose, and I can well imagine your pain, too. My thoughts are very much with you.

[@knoxgunn1699]

"...did any of this make ANY sense?" YES! ALL. OF. IT! - I am same in shame and your video touched places deep inside of me that no sex toy could hope to reach. (and, I'm a guy so... yeah, built different) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep up this line of dialogue. I see you and need you. You are still incredibly funny and entertaining yet this is real life wisdom craved for by fellow wanderer/wonderers. Also loving the conversations with yourself Instas. Now I am going to watch ALL your videos on KZbin and like them all. Sincerely, thank you SO much for fighting cancer and still being here to be inspiring in confusing times.

[@anukoo87]

Okay so keep doing these monologues, I´m learning something and I also feel not so alone with my feelings and with my shame and anxiety and what not. Thanks Grace!

[@friskybriskyy3997]

I also really struggle to identify my own feelings. Its weird and I'm embarrassed by it, because as a grown woman I feel like I should be able to put a name to what I'm feeling but its still hard sometimes. My therapist gave me an "emotion wheel" and it actually helps. Also thank you for talking about shame. I don't think I ever really thought about what shame was but thanks to you I'm now realizing that I deal with a lot of shame too. Please do more videos like this, this was really helpful and relatable.

[@itsgrace]

i should get one of those wheels!

[@alexandrafowler5993]

I’ve also recently stumbled upon the word shame. I’ve always been too ‘nervous’ to put myself out there. Hobbies don’t feel ‘worth it’, taking pictures of myself feel icky, and even trying therapy feels like I’m using up someone else’s time. I’m in the very first steps of working on self compassion and seeing your video pop up only days after I considered it is so relieving. I’ve been watching Alton, Marie, and Hannah for years and find comfort in the three of you. It feels like a friend it cheering me on. Thanks Grace!

[@itsgrace]

💓

[@Falltothesea]

It feels so good to hear you say back exactly what I have dealt with my entire life. It's crazy that so many share the same patterns of shame and anxiety, it's so isolating.

[@itsgrace]

So glad it connected. Isolating indeed!!

[@MubinNoor]

The amount of respect and sheer appreciation I have for this woman, I could get emotional just thinking about it. Every video from Grace feels like a warm hug, not the icky ‘ew don’t touch me’ kind, but the kind where it’s just a shoulder to shoulder, arm around the other shoulder, just letting you feel acknowledged, and understood, whilst giving you the opportunity to understand them more too. To which you want to get to know, and empathize, and want to reassure that, as much as I appreciate you, I also see and appreciate who you are as a person. Essentially, listening to Grace’s two cents on things she’s figured out or in the process of figuring out, is such a meaningful transaction of thoughts and emotions, and when I introduce my friends to her content and they tell me they see a lot of her in my own personality, it is SUCH a huge compliment! I don’t even wanna get into Goose’s passing, cause I knew the day that amazing little creature died, I’d legitimately get so upset, so was sort of mentally prepared, but can’t even fathom having the strength I already know that you have Grace. I just hope you feel everything it is you need to feel, and that with time you find your peace with it, and the perseverance to continue to move forward as the remarkable person you are. That’s all for this long ass comment.

[@itsgrace]

Thank you for the incredibly beautiful comment!! 🥹

[@somekindofsickjoke]

I am so inspired by your openness and ability to verbalize all of these thoughts and feelings. Thank you so much for sharing this stuff and starting these conversations. Also, sending you so so much love regarding Goose. I had to put my 11-year old lil guy down last year and it is absolutely devastating. I’m so glad you had each other, and I’m so, so sorry you’re going through this.

[@gladeplugin]

Oh wow, The distinction between guilt and shame really helped me understand something that has happened recently. Thank you for this video!!

[@SandraLee1020]

I used to struggle with unwanted thoughts and / or memories.. but for the most part, I don't anymore. I used the hold every thought captive technique. Don't just let your mind wonder.. unless it's a positive thing for you. If it's often more negative, train yourself to truly hear and know what your mind is saying. Think of it like how when we talk out loud, there can be pauses to say exactly what you are trying to express to someone else. My thoughts sound exactly how I sound when I speak with my mouth. There is no other voice in my head. There is no bully in there. If a thought or memory tries to pop in, and say, hey! Remember when blah blah blah, I imagine those words being flushed down the toilet. I don't really have to do that anymore. Sometimes, I'll just say no outloud when negative thoughts try to poke through. I don't know if any of this is helpful, but I wanted to try and describe what has helped me. Love your videos always❤

[@arushak]

Holy shit Helbig. What a relief and revelation it is to hear someone I've watched for over a decade verbalise something I've struggled with my entire life. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I'm still very much on my journey of self love and kindness, but one thing that has always helped, even in the darkest of days, is knowing that you're not alone in the way you're feeling. Thank you for using your platform to speak on these things.

[@alisaishere]

I would love more content like this. Right now I'm doing shadow work (Jung, Stutz, etc) and trying to process some of these deep emotions and feelings that are hard to grapple with. Shame is just one of many things I feel and am struggling with, so hearing somebody else explain how they are processing it helps me in my journey.

[@itsgrace]

ohhhhh good luck with your shadow work! that's dark stuff! 🙃💪🏻

[@TrueArtIsMe]

Very relatable!!! This year I’ve started realizing how much shame I have and how much it impacts me all the time. Started counseling because what the heck!!!! It’s heavy

[@usagiikay]

grace, i have been following you for over 10 years now. girl have we been thruuuu it. your content has always felt so genuine and sincere and comforting. thank you so much for sharing your honesty and being so vulnerable. you have always inspired me in many ways, and today it has happened again. ive had anxiety my whole life and only in the last few years have i finally been able to tackle so many mental illness struggles. this is so relatable. you are such a rockstar. also sending you so much love about goose, she was the most beautiful pup and you were lucky to have each other

[@knoxia]

Yeah it was all over the place but let’s be real girl that’s you and we love you for that. The important thing is the sum of what you said was wonderful and it’s nice to see someone be so vulnerable and real. Please make more like this! It helps people relate, realize they aren’t the only ones and can start to help them heal.

[@aliza.beth.]

Grace feels like she’s terrible at articulating how she feels (relatable) then proceeds to make the most articulate description of complex and overlapping feelings

[@fidgets7190]

So very sorry to hear about Goose :( ❤ rip. Thank you so much for this video. The amount of times I nodded along with you makes me certain that you've formed some sort of bobble head band. You are not alone and thank you for being so vulnerable. I've followed you for well over 10 years and your videos have always been, in a sense, sort of a comfort blanket to me (and I'm sure lots of other awkward; insecure girls who are also figuring out their feelings and how to be a human ) very proud of everything you've overcome and I am so here for this content 💜🩵💙💚

[@lizardlady69]

Thank you for sharing this, Grace! It makes me feel less alone in my own journey with shame. RIP GOOSE ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@j.jenkins1885]

I’ve been following you a looong time and it’s kinda great that I’m still getting to know you and you’re still a positive influence to me as an adult. Genuinely, thank you. Very much appreciated.

[@tess6536]

Yes, more videos! Shame has been present in my life since day one. Probably because of attachment issues but also struggling with the symptoms of undiagnosed Adhd (got diagnosed when I was 17). Adhd is great at creating situations to feel shameful about and rejection sensitive dysphoria is fantastic fuel for shame-spiralling so.. good things allround. Body dysmorphia is a fun one too, it's like a theme park for shame.

[@Sar-Gray]

Hi Grace, this was a very appreciated video. On reflection, I recognise a lot of shame that I feel too. I like that you spoke about how it's not a helpful emotion, and the ways to combat it. I'm going to look into that meditation you mentioned. I realise this is a new kind of content for you, and wanted to let you know that I enjoyed it. It felt authentically 'you'. I realise the para-social part of that, but as my physiologist has been telling me for over a decade - people want to connect with people. Thank you!

[@cosmicjellyf1sh]

Your whole video made perfect sense and you did an amazing job of communicating what shame is. And honestly, I needed to hear this right now. I’m just like you. Shame is a constant in my life. I just went through a move and it reeeallyyyy brought out the shame and loneliness (the loneliness because I also retreat from others due to the shame). I’m really proud of myself for being able to do the whole move with very little help, but it shouldn’t have been that way, and my shame is the reason for it. ANYWAY, thank you so much for this video. I love this new era of Grace 😍❤️🫶🏻

[@r.l.howard8459]

i'm subscribing from this video . sending you healthy vibes and overcoming shame vibes !!!! y'all we got this!!!!

[@stephaniegause5783]

Please take this with the best intentions at heart. For a good bit of this video I saw you. Not someone that survived cancer. And you will always be someone that survived cancer and I have no intention of taking that away from you. But you look like yourself before anything ever happened. I know this has its superficial undertones but also every girl has the desire to look like her best self. I have always seen you as a beauty both inside and out. Also I love the new topics of interpersonal relationships. It may be hard to start the conversation but everyone can relate with at least part of it. Thank You!

[@itsgrace]

Thank you for this beautiful comment

[@putonmyfavoriteshow]

I would love more videos like this, Grace! I've been a fan of yours for years mostly because I really related to you, especially due to the self deprecating humor and silliness you approached life with. But I'm really happy to see this new era where you've become more in touch with your feelings and trying to improve on yourself and guide others to do the same. I always thought I had a pretty good sense of self, but from listening to you talk about shame, it made me realize that I have long been struggling with it without realizing the name for it. I spend a lot of time thinking about how people think poorly of me. The line you said about feeling like you're an idiot in hiding really struck a chord. I often worry about not being perceived as smart and just constantly beating myself up about it and being afraid to speak in fear of coming across dumb and being judged. The reason I poke fun at myself a lot of the time is so that someone else doesn't take the first swing. I try so hard NOT to look insecure but without actually facing those insecurities myself and learning to love myself. I feel like I've been slowly making strides to accept myself in recent years, but there's definitely more I can do to practice self-compassion. So thank you for sharing and being vulnerable❤ Also sending my condolences for your loss, Goose was a special girl and you were clearly the best dog-mom for her! 🐾

[@itsgrace]

💓

[@RB-ix6qt]

I get nervous posting comments, but thank you for this video. A lot of what you said really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing this kind of thing with us. And I’m so sorry about Goose! ☹️☹️

[@CassidyQuinn]

LOVE this so much. Shame and guilt need to stay hidden in order to survive! So YES to saying it all outloud (or at least writing it down for ourselves!). Re: Loving-Kindness meditation - it has definitely been helpful for me in my own self compassion, AND at the same time, sometimes it's really hard. Sometimes trying to send ourselves love can just bring up the fact that we struggle with loving ourselves and OOF that can feel baaadddd. But that's totally normal - and for me, it has gotten easier. Ok everyone GO FORTH AND GET OFF!! 🤣👏

[@itsgrace]

thank you for this, cassidy!! 💖

[@lpfan678]

Even though a lot of this video didn't directly apply to me, being emotionally literate is our generations jam! I love these videos and I hope you'll continue them.

[@Judymontel]

It does make a lot of sense. My experience is besides finding a variety of practices to increase self-compassion, I also have to have practices for meeting that hyper-critical voice when it shows up, understanding some of the dynamic behind/underneath it, and to also be aware that it's never going to go away completely. I may have some nice long vacations from it given enough self-work, enough reduced stress, enough genuine support, but life is... well, full of unexpected stresses, and when the pressure is on, that voice tends to come out - often for sneak attacks that come out of seemingly nowhere. So thank you for this video. I like the talk, the conversation. And I send you lots of hugs and healing over the loss of your dear Goose. (I also identify with some parts of your story with her... )

[@Daheeat]

Big hugs on Goose. 🫶 Appreciate all you shared. Shame and guilt always need more space to breathe. Cheers. 😊

[@kelseyteter7217]

Jesus Grace. I had to really think about what you meant when you said ‘emotionally dyslexic.’ But then I got it!! And every single thing after that. It was like listening to myself finally find the words. Pleeeease be nice to yourself!!! What a gift you are. And thanks for opening doors like these sometimes. 💜💜💜

[@kaitlinvalenziano2030]

I’ve been in therapy for nearly two years now talking about the same things. This really hit home for me ❤ it’s nice to know I’m not the only one learning to love myself in my thirties

[@itsgrace]

we can do it

[@fiImedeterror]

oh grace, i have so many feelings about your feelings!!! i related so much to your dress to repress "persona" as a teenager and now at almost 27 i find myself relating to your personal feelings once again. discovering how much shame has been holding us back from life is monumental and i wish you good fortune in this journey and hope it brings you to a much more fulfilled life. also, goose was the reason i first fell in love with big ass misunderstood dogs, so i owe having my own big girl soul dog to her and you ❤‍🩹

[@itsgrace]

🙏🏻💖

[@maryse8641]

If you still doubt about the utility of these convos, pls don't because I learn so much and I love when people simply try. Shame is a such a hard feeling to identify and let go, I feel you. I am so sorry for your loss, truly I have been through the same last month with my 13 years old dog. Same feeling for me : shame and guilt of not being enough for him lately and thinking I was the reason he left... we need time and indulgence ❤

[@bouffante]

i’d love more videos like this! so conversational and educational, and so comforting as it reminds me of a lot of convos my friends and i have after therapy. so sorry to hear about goose. sending all the love ❤️❤️❤️

[@JoJoRebecca]

Thank you for making this video Grace! The vulnerability and research you put into it is so appreciated.

[@HeyBuddiesClips]

I’m so sorry for your loss regarding goose. I lost my little guy back in April last year. 14 and a half years we were together, pup to senior, and his passing was peaceful and in my arms. And I found a lot of comfort in that. 😌🕊️ But without him the house was so quiet. I wasn’t prepared for how empty I’d feel without him. I lost purpose there for a minute, I didn’t have this little guy to take care of anymore. Who even was I with Ollie? I still miss him, I always will. But a year later I have a new pup and he gets me up in the morning, to feed him, to go to the park. We don’t realise how much we need them as much as they need us. I still talk about Ollie any time I can, I never repress his memories and I always recount a tale with a smile. I felt guilty loving again. Though I know that’s what he’s want for me, a dog person without a dog is just a person. 😫 it doesn’t feel right.

[@Misosoup8846]

I feel so seen listening to you talk about your shame, anxiety, and desire for external validation. I feel seen hearing about you trying to figure out what’s next and how you can begin living in a different way than before

[@erinmlaswell]

More videos about feelings please 🥰 Love the mix of knowledge sharing + your own personal experience. ♥️

[@EyeCMarie]

This was honestly a glass shattering moment for me and felt like a new puzzle piece fitting perfectly into my understanding of myself. It is always hard for me to remember that, for the most part, people aren’t looking for or thinking about my flaws. I hope that I’m on my journey to enjoying myself too. Thank you so so much for sharing 💖

[@itsgrace]

💪🏻

[@DavePuhrrez]

Grace, I've been following you for years now. I remember in the early days of KZbin, I would watch your content and fell like you would only show a very limited side of your being. I believe it was back in the "My Damn Channel" days. Your content had a vibe because there was a certain aesthetic that channels and content creators would curate. I always would get the feeling of " wow this young lady is so interesting! I know that what she shows, or chooses to show is not all of who she is" and always hoped to see a fuller part of you. Though I acknowledge parasocial relationships exist, and there is only so much you can know and learn about a person making content on the internet. As time has passed and as life has happened to us, gradually I've started to see a more whole version of yourself be expressed. Sometimes it takes life happening to you, to get to a place like that. All of this to say, Thanks! Thanks for opening up, for sharing the good and the bad. Thanks for being courageous enough to be vulnerable. Thanks for having these deeper conversations. I hope that life continues to smile at you and that you constantly become a more whole, fuller version of yourself! Much love.

[@itsgrace]

THANK YOU for this beautiful comment! 💖

[@AM_watchesvideos]

I started watching your videos in college and they carried my through grad school, where I was studying to be a mental health therapist. Now I am that mental health therapist. So, thank you for the laughs that carried me through school and the real vulnerability that truly connects and heals.

[@itsgrace]

congrats on becoming a mental health therapist! we need those! honored to be a small part of your journey

[@luishp3]

As someone who’s been watching you since your Daily Grace days (I think it’s been 13 years at this point since I first found your videos) it is so lovely to see this new phase of your life on the internet be more open about your feelings. Please continue talking about them. It helps some of us feel less alone. And please don’t feel like you need to make these videos more succinct.

[@tihgger7466]

I think you are doing awesome Grace. Keep on being you.... You're really helping others as you help yourself. You are worth the world... you are a blessing and worthy of the world.

[@Scinasari]

Fabulous video - I think it's really awesome of you to be brave and vulnerable. Shame is such a common and natural thing - shaming others for every single thing they do is like, a favorite pastime of the internet; of COURSE we would internalize shame in a world where shame is not only popular, but a great way to sell you things. I think most people have a very complicated relationship with shame; Chappell Roan comes to mind - an artist who is so unabashedly open about sex and transgressive things in her performances, but who says that she views the Chappell persona as her "Hannah Montana", that she herself isn't nearly as comfortable talking about things like sex. It's really great to see you working with self-love, self-compassion, and unboxing shame. A lot of people think it's just how life is, to have a voice in your head constantly criticizing you and shaming you. But it's not; you deserve to be free to be yourself, to live life without worrying about the imagined outside observer. Life is so much better when you can laugh off embarrassment. I've found that doing embarrassing things and admitting my embarrassment to strangers - ie. if I mess up at work, I laugh it off - has been great, not just for me, but also, for reminding people that everyone does it. My more anxious friends have said it helps them to see it from others, even though they can't imagine doing it themselves. I hope, at the very least, someone who sees me mixing up my words or forgetting how to do basic math can walk away with a sense of "so it's not just me!". Good luck in your journey to self-love. Lots of strangers out here are rooting for you!

[@itsgrace]

💓💓💓

[@kaylarose3142]

This video was a crazy awakening for me… I have always thought guilt and shame to be the same thing, not necessarily two sides of the same coin. & I feel like this really helped me differentiate fault in past situations. Im so happy you made this

[@handthingful]

Love love love this Grace ❤️ on a similar journey understanding my shame (mind blown: a lot of it is not even mine!) and that self compassion bit is so hard and so important? Shaming myself over not overcoming my shame more efficiently is wild 😅 KEEP GOING WITH THE VULNERABILITY you're smashing it 🎉

[@itsgrace]

the shame over not releasing your own shame is WIIIIIILD, I know!

[@susanmcmillan6130]

Love your content, Grace. You being so open about things is so beautiful to see.

[@meganmoncada2608]

In a similar era of trying to feel the feelings and hearing this really does help to make the journey less lonely and feel a little more achievable. Thanks for this❤

[@domino6239]

GRACE! I’ve never had anyone express the way I feel and have nearly almost felt until now! I have so much shame and guilt for just like existing?? I am chronically ill but still so terrible at caring for myself. Sending love and appreciation for you being here! ❤

[@domino6239]

Edit: I got further in the video!! I’ve been incorrectly labeling my shame as guilt!!

[@itsgrace]

💖

[@sgirl82997]

Grace I’ve been watching your videos since your early KZbin days and I’m 26 now, you have helped me in unmeasurable ways by simply being yourself and putting yourself out there to the world. As a fellow introvert with high anxiety, ADHD, and other mental health issues, as well as having struggled with an ed for many years (talk about shame being able to rule over your life lol) you have always been a person who eased the stress of these things for me, through your humor, kindness, and transparency you helped me feel less shame about being open about my own experiences. Your video response to ‘dear fat people’ is something I’ve watched repeatedly because it truly helped heal my shame and have more self empathy as well as more understanding of why others try to inflict shame as a weapon, you are so raw and open in that video and it made me feel so seen and understood, I’ll always be grateful for that. You humor and honesty, and embrace of the stupidity of life has truly made me a better person, one who I’m proud (ish) to be. I’m more confident in being myself because of you! So, not that it’s easy, I hope you feel no shame in talking openly and honestly about this stuff because it’s the stuff that has made me such a huge fan of you for so long and that has made the most difference in my life. Thank you for sharing, please continue 💚

[@itsgrace]

wow what a beautiful comment, thank you so much. i'm honored to help in even the slightest way. 💖

[@jakobsukk]

You’re the best. We’re the same age. I’ve been watching since Daily Grace. I remember when you adopted your dog. You have been a constant in my life for over a decade. Thank you for everything.

[@stvzt]

I related to this video so much! I started watching you when I was a teenager and I’ll be 30 this year. Your content has seen me through my whole adult life and this video really hit home. I have so much shame which held me back from so many things in life and I’m learning to let go of it. You’ve helped me grow into an adult who younger me would love! Thanks Grace 🫶🏼

[@thomaselliott7204]

I think it's worth mentioning that self-compassion and caring for and about yourself-treating yourself with kindness- takes a lot of energy and time! It's JUST like taking care of another person. We have to feed ourselves, wash ourselves, clean up after ourselves, give ourselves treats and presents, encourage ourselves, and so on. When I think about it that way, it makes me more motivated and I feel like it's worth the energy and time to be compassionate towards myself.

[@itsgrace]

yes, great framework

[@danidani000]

I have been watching your videos since 2013 and it truly feels like youre the older cousin I never had; going through the world and giving me advice just when I need it. You have no idea how much you've helped me process my own brain. Thank you.

[@rjcast792]

I feel like I’m speaking for everyone in this community that we are so proud of you for doing this and sharing such a vulnerable topic. It’s so incredibly relatable. I’m in a chapter of my life where I’m really prioritizing practicing self love and compassion and you’re right, it’s so fucking hard sometimes! But baby steps in progress is still progress. Thank you for posting this video. I appreciate it and you soo so much.

[@itsgrace]

💓

[@sorenbruns5541]

Well, this couldn't be more timely. You mention a lot of the things I'm dealing with right now as well. When you talk about making all these subconscious processes conscious, I think that's a major step. At least for me recognising the problem as a problem and not as a given, innate mode (as thoughts tend to feel) changed a lot already. Thanks for talking about this!

[@ejcastro9518]

So sorry for your heartbreaking loss. It is never easy esp if you feel any sort of guilt about it. All I can say is let yourself feel your grief. It is real. You loved Goose and you gave her a loving home. I feel her loss too. Thanks for sharing her with us 💔💔💔😢😢😢💕💕💕

[@alifetomake]

I believe Transactional Analysis could help with this. If you don't know, it states that we are made of a child, an adult, a parent, and possibly other parts (an artist, a perfectionist...), and some of them can express themselves toxically. For ex, my inner parent was terrible, trying to impose realistic thoughts, which are not so good to me because I'm an artist. I need to be able to dream freely. So my adult side had to regain control and negociate with the parent. That gave excellent results! And it feels like a next level. There's always a next level!... See you next time!

[@erinzimmerman7953]

This video was so incredible. I love hearing your thoughts on this and it made me think about my own relationship with shame

[@reilly3342]

On a real note, I am so sorry to hear about Goose, losing a pet is as as painful as losing a close family member. Thank you for sharing, I have also been tackling replacing shame with selflove and recognizing guilt to make a difference in things. I’ll be checking out your podcast I didn’t know it existed. I don’t always watch your videos but with the way I was so obsessed with you as a young tween and teen, I’ll always be sending love and light your way. also, my teachers used to look at me so weird when I would wear my dressed to repress sweater LMAO

[@reilly3342]

This new podcast*** I was at the not too deep live show in Toronto with my whole family 🫶🏻🫶🏻

[@xanny28]

Oh Grace, I'm so sorry to hear that you lost Goose. She was wonderful and such a presence over the years in your videos. I'm glad you had 11 years with her and you have so many videos of her. In regards to you conquering cancer, I'm so relieved and happy that you (and Hank) are okay. Love you girl! 💕

[@SuddenDarkness2]

You felt compelled to make this, and you spoke to me directly. I recently started therapy over my anxiety and shame. You aren't alone. Idiot over here, too. Thank you for this video (and all your videos!)

[@kennyduren0831]

Yes, please, more of this for sure! I just made an appointment for therapy bc I need to deal with this crap.

[@MrSasyB]

Also I feel for you and goose. My childhood dog is at the end of his journey and we're having such a hard time letting him go, it's truly painful and I can only share my empathy with you grace and anyone else going through stuff like this. There's no words to make anyone feel better, just... We're going through it, and understanding is more than enough to ask and to give.

[@MarkThePage]

When I was in your situation a few years ago, I wish I'd understood better that the dog was going no matter what I did. I felt like a failure because I couldn't keep her alive forever! Isn't that ridiculous! What matters is whether you can make their final days comfortable and cherished. They will hold on for as long as they can because they love you, but because you love them, you must know when the time has come to let them rest. Sending my best wishes your way, hoping you remember to be kind to yourself too.

[@87holdfast]

Thank you, truly. I needed this so badly this morning and would love more videos like it. The journey to self-love is difficult for me. Appreciate you!!! ❤

[@SusanBanth0ny]

I admire SO MUCH the way you’ve shared your journey and struggles and growth over the last year. I semi accidentally acquired a fear/reactive pup around the same time you got goose and I’ve always felt a kinship to you in JUST HOW difficult (and confusing and sometimes guilt inducing) it can be to manage a dog you love with those needs. One more than one occasion I’ve literally thought to myself “Grace Helbig has her shit together and she deals with this just fine so DO IT!”. Lol! My heart goes out to you, she’s such a lucky girl to have had you 🩷 when I was little my mom would tell me she believed our spirits had met before we were born and decided to be family, perhaps that is the case for you and goose as well 🥲 this video is informative and moving and you’re still funny as hell!

[@itsgrace]

💖

[@Wonderish]

This is so relatable and something I’ve been working on too. It always helps to share it and to hear others share it too. I’ve watched your videos for long enough to remember when you got Goose. I’m so sorry. What a good, wild girl she was. I have been loving how open and vulnerable you’ve been with your emotions over the past year. I feel like your content has grown and evolved alongside you as a person, which seems to be tricky on the internets. It’s super appealing to me as a person trying to grow and evolve as well. I’m def here for more of these talks if you want to share.

[@dansipple8705]

Thanks for sharing this. I struggle with this same issue so it's nice to hear that I'm not alone.

[@gemmalittle6206]

Wow. Thank you so much for explaining shame in its different forms in such an awesome and you way. You gave me some lightbulb thoughts that will help me work through more things in therapy, especially with Trait Shame. Do you think it’s also how people spoke to you about yourself as a younger person having to be perfect or a good person where you couldn’t fail? And if you did something wrong it would be judged negatively even though it would never be intentional to hurt someone so therefore it would create guilt which would turn into shame? Like a schema. Hopefully that made sense. I’m so so sorry for your loss with Goose. That connection was so special and from all your videos with her sweet face in it you could tell how much you love each other. I loved this and am so appreciative of your openness and for allowing space for us all to work out our feelings while you are as well. Sending lots of love and healing 🤗💙

[@itsgrace]

yes other's voices, or lack thereof, growing up definitely become internalized and can create that shame driven perfectionism

[@KauaiDee]

So much of this made SO MUCH sense. I’m in my mid 30s and I have boomer parents. I’m curious how much of the shame was learned from them.

[@jld2006]

This really resonates with me, as I am also going through my own journey with cancer since diagnosis in the fall of 2021. Thanks so much for sharing with us.

[@itsgrace]

💪🏻

[@treefell]

I went through my own cancer journey last year. It definitely made me want to examine my life and what I actually want and need from it. So much of what Grace said was enormously relatable. Particularly about needing to learn to be kind to yourself. That's a lesson I'm having to learn again and again. It's easy to know that you need to do it. Actually putting it in practice - not so much.

[@itsgrace]

yes exactly that! so much easier said than done

[@Justanothercritic89]

I appreciated the definition of guilt vs. shame. As a gen x, shame was used to control my behavior. Keep going! You're killing this new era!!

[@milkywaters85]

I'm so sorry to hear about goose. Glad she was able to help you through your journey

[@hannahvolck]

One of the best youtube videos I've watched in a long time. Thank you for speaking on shame, Grace.

[@itsgrace]

🙏🏻

[@mariah_0011]

Loved this exploration into your mind, keep the Psychology Today articles coming - this'll be my new reading media!

[@erinberglund4099]

love when you talk about your feelings with us!!!

[@VindicatedMuffins]

wow grace, incredible timing i was talking to my therapist about shame this week! i think you are very brave for sharing about your experience on your platform, thank you so much!

[@Schmoopie56]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Grace. Once again, you hit me and all my anxieties right on the head. We left a door open last year and our cat went through it and never came back. I never thought anything like that could ever happen to me. That was shame. I failed as a human and a pet owner. A month later, I adopted one of the most unadoptable cats, who is scared of her own shadow (like me). I feel that kinship with her that you felt with Goose. I fear she'll run away too, someday. That will always be in the back of my mind. Anyway ... I love these episodes of Grace Has Feelings! It helps me feel less alone in my own journey. Keep 'em coming!! ❤

[@LemonThymeArt]

Yes! Dude, as someone with childhood trauma and shame- based thinking patterns, compassion focused therapy (CFT) has been transformative for me. 10/10 would recommend -- even if just the CFT meditations paired with journal writing.

[@itsgrace]

thanks for the rec!