an infp vent

[@Bascombe25]

When I found out I was an INFP, it changed my life. Everything made sense. I always felt like such an outlier, a weirdo among my friends, and I could never explain my behavior in certain situations. Now that I understand myself, and have matured into my personality type, I feel joy with who I am, and the rest can go eff themselves!

[@sadoand]

I just started crying, why couldn't I just be normal and fit in. Nothing makes any sense exept in my head 😞

[@Bascombe25]

@@sadoand Can totally relate to that... my teens, 20s and 30s were a hailstorm of tears.

[@sadoand]

@@Bascombe25 does it get better? I just want to feel safe, everyday is just me contemplating if running into the woods and freezing to death is better than dealing with people.

[@Bascombe25]

@@sadoand Yes it does... the more you realize how your atypical personality is so vitally important to most everything, is when it will start to get better. I found that a big part of my journey was accepting that I will always be searching with a desire to grow, learn, experience and affect others. I am always finding something and someone new. But a big part of searching is letting go of the old, and that which no longer serves you... but you can take parts of those experiences with you. As people come and go in your life, it will allow your world to open up, and you will find more and more like minded people to feel safe with. I certainly did. :)

[@sadoand]

@@Bascombe25 I screenshoted that one, it gives me hope

[@stonedpotath0e]

I feel like I'm longing for something that either doesn't exit or is just extremely far away.

[@itskylielockheart]

Intuition! Everything happens in good timing I think its just giving u a hint of a feeling of what's to come :)

[@nicoledyer6707]

I also feel this way and this why i believe i am so unmotivated in life generally. I can’t sit down and study like other people because i know that i have dreams and wishes but they are too far away from thi world so nothing i might do now can fill the void, no matter where i get, it is just won’t be quite enough. I don’t even know i actually dream of tho, i just see many possibilities and don’t see anyone of them actually coming true

[@MeliMeli66]

You are probably an enneagram 4.

[@stonedpotath0e]

@@MeliMeli66 omg watch me dive into a rabbit hole... Going to research this now... Thank you!

[@haihai5293]

@@stonedpotath0e You looking for self love. Im ennegram 4w5 infp :) This is what you really missing.

[@unionunicorn6776]

If you’re an INFP and you’re reading this, I know it’s cliche, but sometimes we need to hear cliche things: Please remember you are never alone. You are loved. Someone, somewhere, loves you, even if they haven’t met you yet. It gets better. You’re going to be okay. I’m an INFP too. Thanks for making me feel less alone. We are all in this thing called life together. 💗💗💗

[@Cinemax-or7xy]

Thank you for your message, I needed to hear that.

[@ShinachiHChan]

INFP here. Just to let you know, likely Hundreds of INFPs have read this message and appreciate you, but just haven't replied or liked it, Thats how we are, haha.

[@Sucellusification]

Or get into druidry, and you'll never again feel really alone hahaha

[@CYCO1631]

My wife and I are both infp's. It's nice to have each other.

[@hamyyy_yroo3743]

3:26 I was actually free from the little bad vibes for a bit but then I realized I didn’t know how to act without it and it was like my heart was an empty shelf that was just cleaned waiting for stuff to be put in it like meaningful interactions, happy moments, new experiences . But because of my word filter not letting me say the things I wanna say i can’t have those interactions. And because of my foggy brain oop my foggy brain is back at it again I was gonna say that’s why I can’t have new experiences but then I realized that’s wrong and idk how to put it into words haha byeeee

[@lanodramallama]

As a fellow INFP I could identify with you immediately by the way you talk. With authenticity and intent but occasional uncertainty, kind of stacccato, jumping around a little, narrating your doubts as and when they come up. I love my people 😂❤

[@keithparker1346]

Yes sometimes not even completing phrases or sentences to move to something else

[@keithparker1346]

Yes sometimes not even completing phrases or sentences to move to something else

[@Diamond_Sandwich_media]

Yup, like I can envision this epic speech, and then given the chance to talk I'm like, "yea, not really feelin it" lolol

[@hotfuzz774]

Was just about to write the same thing. Saw myself in the gestures, facial expressions, staccato type speaking, questioning own thought process while speaking, losing track and coming back around eventually

[@FiNe_SiTe]

Yes, verbal communication is difficult, but through written communication, we prosper (:

[@Meihua13]

🤍

[@travelgo3720]

I hear you on the having trouble communating as an INFP. My speech patterns are very similiar. For me traveling and staying in hostels helped me break out of my introverted shell. Anyways, great vid!

[@itskylielockheart]

Yes! Traveling alone definitely helps me as well, it's like therapy :) really forces you to put yourself out there into the world

[@dinosaurlex5841]

its hilarious that you say that cause i was just thinking the same thing when you said that with her speech pattern XD. this is crazy

[@karistone1297]

I’ve lived alone for the last twelve years and have been forced to step up and speak for myself. This has helped enormously but I still struggle to really communicate exactly what I’m feeling. I’m so much better with writing… actually quite good.

[@elizabethwall8063]

I’m exactly the same-much better at writing than I am at speaking. I read one time that different parts of our brains control those two functions, and suddenly I understood why I’m like that!

[@dougchristian45]

As an older INFP, not over analyzing what you say or what you've said is important. Hard not to do. Sometimes following the "script" is what's called for with the majority of people and everyday life. I find myself saving those off "script" conversations for those closest to me and even then I need to realize when to stop.lol Most of my deepest conversations are in my mind but that's ok everyone knows me there.🙂

[@shreeshasinghthakur3293]

Yesss thanks for the advice.

[@thenekomaniac5317]

Too relatable. Especially being able to verbalise what's inside. I think that's why we gravitate to self expression in other forms, its so much easier. And yh, i feel u, existing is exhausting

[@rushesblond]

like feeling so so down and be hurting deeply but cant give a reason.

[@returnoftheromans6726]

@@rushesblond This is me in a nutshell. A deeper hurt that I perhaps never knew was there.

[@ravimaharaj1208]

This is the most genuine, authentic INFP talk I've ever heard. It's basically art. You got new subscriber here! 👌🏼

[@azrielmateria8050]

I always get comfort when I watch infp videos. It's hard to feel connection in this world.

[@Meihua13]

❤️

[@bestever6879]

I'm an INFP and I can fully relate, a book that has helped me tremendously is "How to do the work, by Nicole Le pera". It's helped me to find my authentic self and find the value in it. Doing creative things that allow me to explore, experiment, express, dig deep and grow an ever wider perspective helps me to connect and feel grounded. When I'm feeling good and come out of my shell I realise I have a lot to offer the world, but sometimes I need to retreat and spend time alone to think things through and re-charge. Effective and strait forward communication continues to help me in daily life, having the courage to ask for what I want and be able to say no when I need to also helps me to stay grounded. Great video, thanks for sharing :)

[@Caroline600100]

love the way you explained that, I didnt really realize that that’s why I so often need time for myself (doing creative things to feel connected and grounded), but it makes so much sense! that’s going to help me know what I need and how to use my alone time the best way I can, so thanks!

[@returnoftheromans6726]

"The world is boring, for the most part." That hit me. Just finished lamenting about how mundane and boring adult life is. And when will it ever not be? Parts of the past were frankly better.

[@mankind5709]

It’s boring , because INFPs perceive more to the world, while most people see only the surface.

[@liltunturi1251]

Sometimes this adult life feels like a bad dream, like I just want to wake up and have things "my way" whatever that looks like, I will know for sure when that day comes.

[@pattidj4384]

It's about to change quite seriously soon. You will possibility find yourself enjoying helping others in desperate situations. Be available and be you and do you!

[@liltunturi1251]

@@pattidj4384 I know what you mean, I always guide myself with the intuition of "at least help others", but there has to be a time where you make yourself a main character of your own story. That is all your life is based on. You need a purpose, MBTI aside, you are important, you are close to realizing what you need to do. The biggest hope is that we all will know what to do when the time comes. That is what you get right. You are important ok? It takes time.. that is ok

[@kiyaleelevyrunaya9495]

The worst part is that people tend to blame you for your difficulty communicating. They make you feel less, like you don't matter, like it's your fault. Telling you that you need to adjust to them. You need to live up to their norm. You need to jump at everyone's command and be there for everyone. But you're not allowed to ask for help yourself because they tell you "you're high maintenance". You know what people like us need? Us INFP's? A country just for us. Doesn't even need to be big. Pretty sure that's the only way we'll ever feel accepted and happy.

[@goteamslugs]

Many INFJs feel the same. :')

[@ketchuply]

LITTERALY. And when I try to tell them that I just can't communicate, they turn the blame back onto me. They don't understand that we/I simply just can't talk.

[@shellbell8062]

If it's any consolation, as you get older it becomes WAY BETTER. INFP's really come into our own later in life, when we have more experience to draw on. We start trusting and valuing ourselves more; which translates into more confidence. I love being an INFP and wouldn't change it for anything. It's an incredibly rich experience and creating is literally as important to us as breathing is. We see right through BS, we discern motivations and intentions in others with lightening speed and see right into the heart of issues like no one else does. As you grow, you sort out your thoughts and feelings more and then become quite the word smith, and verbalising complex ideas and imaginations becomes easier. Organisation and tidiness will probably always be an issue for me - and being crap at money management - but that's the price for being free flowing and spontaneous. I really vibe with INFJ's (of course ENFPs) and INTJs are my all time favourites (and INFP's seem magnetically drawn to them, as they are to us). Life surrounded with introverted intuitive relationships makes life a whole lot deeper and more interesting.

[@judipierry549]

This is true. Also, I’m tidier but not neat and I have truly figured out that I don’t care to let others in anymore unless they make an effort to TRY to get in. I’m happy with myself. ❤️

[@blancaperez3470]

Most of my closest friends are ENFP. Thank you for letting me know that verbalizing complex ideas and imaginations become easier. I’ve struggled with this my entire life.

[@juliebehnken6840]

So true! I’ve often felt misunderstood but I also love words and have fun with them (mostly when I’m comfortable with people). And my son is INTJ and I’m married to an INFJ-agree about fave people!

[@jameshearn1599]

The time alone is everything - every INFP related.

[@nozuko333]

I'm crying tears of joys. I see so much of myself in you

[@damonsumner]

I always thought of my inability to speak like im speaking a different language and that language is called feelings, i think in feelings and then have to translate that to english. That is exactly how i see it

[@returnoftheromans6726]

Oh my gosh! I've never thought about it like that, but yes! So true!

[@tahah.babikir7698]

4:50 all of INFPs, ENFPs, ISTJs, and ESTJs actually share the same four cognitive functions. Your priorities are different but your minds are alike… Due to turbulence you might actually have become an ESTJs for short bouts of time, or maybe you do ISTJ stuff (organizing) for the things that you love.. You might also be an enfp when you feel little self consciousness.. or when you are deeply in love.. The four types are one thing..

[@itskylielockheart]

This is so interesting! It definitely explains why I behave certain ways about the things I care about, I get very serious about my hobbies like an istj would. And in a good mood, I do switch into enfp mode for sure!

[@clotildemartinezlopez7017]

This is true, but you never stop really being an INFP because that's your base type Actually mbti is not that “omnipotent”, you really use all the functions and end up working like most of the types at some points

[@alennabraley1115]

INFP/J. Totally relate to daydreaming. Makes life more exciting. Create stories? I wonder if it's similar to what I do. My daydreams I go into completely different worlds and experience it like I'm in a movie. That's the inspiration for my novels. I also take real world events and place myself in it like it's a story.

[@mariyabardarska5895]

Loved everything you said and how you said it. I relate so hard to not being able to verbalise the thoughts in your head, and it can be so frustrating especially since I spend so much time trying to refine and clear my thoughts in a way that I understand how and why I feel the way I do, and then even in those rare moments when I finally feel like I've reached some kind of clarity on the inside, it still comes out a jumbled up mess when I try to explain it to others. And then they look at me all confused as if they think I don't know what I'm talking about. But I do. Thing is though, in this video, even though you may have been feeling like you're not making sense, your words still made me realise new things in a way that my own not always do. Like the thing about the filters and the lens and using it to turn the real world into a story so it's more interesting and actually enjoyable (or bearable) to exist in. I relate so much to that. Thank you.

[@returnoftheromans6726]

That is why alot of the time, I'm imagining scenarios in my head, like, for example, I'm going out with a friend for coffee. I imagine where we sit, and I plan what I say and how the conversation will go so everything can run smoothly (for the most part). But yeah, I do alot of imagining when it comes to future conversations.

[@bizaaron]

As an INFP, I can relate to feeling a lot of things very deeply and not being able to put it into words. I haven’t really talked about INFP stuff on my channel but I might some day…if you’re ever interested in having a conversation 1:1 and perhaps comparing notes on being INFP, I’d love to connect…please feel free to reach out.

[@annadreamsart9756]

I've known I was INFP since high school. And now in middle age, learned I'm probably autistic too. When I learned that when people say, "How are you?" they don't want to know, it was a very disappointing shock. Most people say that as a form of "hello" and don't actually want an answer. Which explains all the weird looks I'd get when I would actually answer because when *I* say it, I DO want to know. (But NT assume you are like them and don't want to know.) I hate small talk. Feels empty. Daydreaming, alone time, spacing out... all still vital to me.

[@kennn30]

Ya I've never been friends with someone who thought responding to an "how are you" should be more authentic. It doesn't mean I'm gonna vent my personal problems, but something more than ok or good.

[@beeblebroxx4299]

After watching your video I can definitely say that I am an infp. The difficulty expressing myself verbally has been a life curse as well as never connecting with the ordinary "normal" people things. I just need more.

[@elizabethwall8063]

I first found out I was an INFP in high school when I took a personality test. Now at age 47, I’m still very much an INFP. The only thing that’s changed in my personality over the years, I think, is that I’ve gained some confidence and gotten better at socializing when I have to-even the dreaded small talk. But I still love to be alone and to daydream. I totally agree with you that real life is way too boring. Maybe that’s the problem with having a good imagination-we can imagine so many more interesting possibilities! I’m a writer (like a lot of INFPs, apparently), and it can be so hard to do all the extremely boring, mundane tasks of life when all I want to do is write or read. This old video came up in my feed today-now I’m subscribed and looking forward to watching your new ones. Thanks for helping me and all the other INFPs out there feel a little less alone!

[@hikarii53]

The arguments your pointing out, I can understand and actually see what you mean by those. I agree with the last part, where you said our existence kind of contradicts with what we want. Me as an INFP, what I really feel is always being misunderstood, not being able to say what I want, getting shut down by most people and yet you can't talk back, and the worst when you try adjusting for the sake of people even if it's already unhealthy for you. Also, idk if this is only me, but when I'm daydreaming, there's always an embarrassing memory that goes back and it's literally worst lol. Like, I'm just remembering it right? But why am I still so embarrassed like I want to smash my head on the wall next to me haha. I guess it's because of our Dominant Introverted Feeling. Thanks for this discussion Kylie! It felt like I'm actually having a discussion with you irl haha. Subscribed! Also, you're so pretty!

[@itskylielockheart]

I feel the exact way with daydreaming, it’s so vivid and it’s like I’m thrown back into that embarrassing situation and if I’m in public I make faces without realizing. And it is definitely a struggle trying to be yourself but not feeling understood, sometimes it does feel easier just to conform to other’s standards instead, but that’s kind of the huge life lesson for most infps. I’m glad you liked the video :)

[@hikarii53]

@@itskylielockheart Yup! Your videos are so simple and it's aesthetically satisfying because of that, xoxo

[@raen19]

Loved this video! It was like a soul mirror, kinda like watching what I would also try to say, with the same way of trying to say it, and the same difficulty getting it out. The struggle is real lol.

[@Taichientaoyin]

The world is boring except nature and animals

[@itskylielockheart]

No truer words have been said lol

[@keithparker1346]

Remember, we are nature

[@Taichientaoyin]

@@keithparker1346 in our natural state 🙂

[@quack.and.move.on.]

Omg this melted my heart, i connected with you so much on the “it’s hard to communicate” i can write well, but i cannot express my feelings in words without it getting awkward. AND YES, I AM VERY EMOTIONAL HAHA. Like, oh my god, I don’t even have words. You’re speaking my mind. It feels like you know me personally like, idk how to explain it.

[@kurehanzo]

Girl, I hear you. As an infp myself, I've always felt like i'm not supposed to be here, i'm a weirdo, different etc. I can't fit in with the system. It's easy to get misunderstood, like when I genuinely say something as a compliment people would perceive it as a rude comment. I've come to learn that we and other types seem to perceive things differently, so these things happen. I feel like as Infps, our feelings arise way faster than our thoughts so we need quite a bit of time to verbalize them.. So it could be problematic in verbal conversations because we're demanded to respond fast. This is why hanging out with people feels so taxing to me. Written conversation always feels better since we can curate our words and take a little more time to make sure our words represent our feelings as accurately as possible.. But at the end of the day because of all these curating and choosing words, it's still taxing 😂 Not to mention I struggle with motivation too. It's like nothing can motivate me other than passion, so when my dreams run out, I get exhausted very easily and find myself wanting to resort to sleep and sleep. But ain't nobody got time for that 😂

[@nr1877]

girl i know i'm 2 years late to this video but i instantly feel i wanna be your friend so bad, idk, the way you talk is like what my genuine self would do if society not dragging me to talk faster, clearer, make people engaged, be more cheerful, be more extroverted, or basically be more acceptable in social life. i love all the things you said omg.

[@Sophira1]

All so true Kylie. I am 66 years old and still a raging INFP. In my teaching career I have had to be more E and J so very tiring by the end of the day, but also it has helped me develop those sides. I was knitting as I listened to you - loved your arts and crafts comment - I felt you were seeing me! I still go into fantasy land but not as often. Have you done the Enneagram? The combo of the 2 is a great source of information about the different types. Thank you for a very heart warming sense-of-belonging video xx

[@itskylielockheart]

Awe I enjoyed reading this comment! Truly, it’s our hobbies/arts and crafts that bring us back to ourselves when we have to be something else out in the world. There is value in developing those different aspects that don’t feel as natural, it usually comes with careers and I believe they are important for this reason, even if it’s exhausting sometimes. And I do know about the enneagram I think it’s fascinating as well as Myers Briggs, I’ve noticed certain types coincide with certain enneagrams.

[@salaicapel5058]

Hello. What do you mean more E and J? I am a bit new to all this but am also a teacher and know there are areas I must improve. Is it organisational stuff and being more logical?

[@Sophira1]

@@salaicapel5058 yes E is for extrovert so whether an introvert or extrovert we need to talk, engage students, be outgoing etc and for introverts it ie quite tiring and sometimes out of you comfort zone. J type personalities are generally organized, comfortable with decision making and closure. So the P type teacher who generally prefers to be more fluid and flexible with decision making and organizing themselves often find themselves having to work in J mode in the classroom and at meetings etc. which again can be tiring and sometimes stressful. However, in the process you develop new skills and strategies. Look after yourself though, give yourself time to relax and and reenergize. More effect

[@AdrianSchachner]

Wow Kylie you exactly described how I am as an INFP. Made a career in global companies with lot of exposure, then leading a team and also did formal project management. You can imagine how much energy and time it took me for structured work (although I feel structure helps me), doing a job that needs rather being outgoing and communicative, being focused and avoid my daydreaming, avoid confrontation and conflicts as I wanted harmony,… on a positive note, everyone appreciated me being a good listener and literally everyone came to me if one of my team had problems to talk to. I had resigned 2 month ago from a global director position as it was a job totally against my nature and I felt I did this career for everybody else but not for me. Thanks for that video ❤

[@beatadebski]

This is so beautiful and refreshing ❤ Isn't it understandable that we (I am INJF) can't make ourselves understood because this world is upside down. A world where authenticity and sincerity are usually used as virtue signallers but never truly supported or valued. I loved your video because your authenticity shines through like a bright star. I am looking forward when human's profound dysfunction will reverse itself the right way up, which is the way of nature and harmony. I will watch more of your videos because I find authetic people like you comforting.

[@wewz6115]

I have always wished a book and a pen that will write all of my thoughts 😂. And I would really buy that if it is invented even though im broke. And also that hard part when you have to explain something but they don't get it and I'm having a hard time explaining it so i just say 'you know what /nevermind'.

[@aakashpriyadarshan196]

0:53 I just started watching, and it immediately felt like I am watching myself in another body. Subscribed! 8:16 Yes, we are the same person. Nice to meet you!

[@stephaniemiller3262]

It is awesome listening to you because you are all over the place with your points but make total sense to me because I am an INFP too. When I try to explain things to people, it is sooo hard to verbalize without jumping around in my head. And so spot on with the creating an alternate reality. That is what I was doing when recharging and couldn’t express that h til you said it!

[@CYCO1631]

We are rare. It seems like we're not, but when these videos pop up, we (infp's) flock to them in droves because we (as so few) find comfort in knowing there are more people like me, than just me out there, especially S we're so blatantly misunderstood by the other 97%.

[@jarmoliebrand2005]

In the INFP community, as well as the autism community, I have found this sense of relatability and understanding I really didn’t have before. Both communities often state being misunderstood. Finally having found truly relatable people (mostly online) was such a breath of fresh air.

[@paulanderson2963]

"I have been doing some thinking..." Be honest with yourself there is never a time where an INFP is not thinking or overthinking. 😂 Yes what you describe about difficulty in verbal communication is 100% true for me. I always want my answers to be as accurate and real as possible and it definitely causes me to pause to think even sometimes during an explanation. Also when I start to explain I've had several occasions where I'm told to get to the point because I'm taking too long and trying to explain things in such detail that the other person says they don't need all of that they just want yes or no. Sometimes it can come over as a rejection of who I am so I have to battle that urge to take it on as a personal attack and just realize that other people sometimes can't handle too much information at once and prefer simplicity with responses.

[@nicolasstanley1392]

Totally get the inability to verbalize and guided by murky feelings, leading to feelings of inadequacy. I always think, “if I could just speak what I’m feeling I’d be successful and content” Thanks for hanging out. Raising a glass in solidarity 🤘

[@hayanwulf]

[Warning: a really long vent without proofread because if i proofread i might end up deleting like 80% of it-] Infps are unique.. and apparently (in my case) get rejected by society for being who they are. When I started studying about MBTI, a lot of things made sense about how society works. But it also got me thinking that, not all people overthink like us.. not all people are as emotional, or.. yknow, alike us. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, but that people might not find as much meaning in the things I would do or say, because they might not be bothered to understand it. But I'm naturally drawn towards creativity, caring about everything around me, and the big picture. I want to do so much, but the society itself judges me for what I wanna do, what I wanna add to this world... They look down at me, they forcibly stop me, they call me a fool for caring about things. Even my own family stops me from doing "good", forces life choices upon me, saying that they are "doing it for my own sake, I will thank them years later in the future". They think that they are wise, I'm childish, and so i should always listen to their advice, when in reality they aren't even putting efforts to understand my perspective. They are so wrong, sometimes i really question if we are even family, because families are meant to be understanding and supportive of each other. At least, thats the ideal family in my mind... So all these thought processes really beg the question, "why should I even try to make the world a better place, if they are too blind to even see it?" I've been thinking about it for months now, with no clear resolution. It's seriously starting to affect my present life. Because, if I forfeit my aspiration of doing something good, then I will have forfeited my purpose and reason to live. And if i keep trying darn hard to do the things I want to, i will have no support (even right now I have none) which already makes things a lot harder, and because of my circumstances I don't even know if it's possible to do anything other than what has apparently already been written in my fate by my family. And even if I ever pulled off doing something big, something good... Will people really appreciate it? Or recognise it, even? Currently I'm stuck in a paradoxical loop with, perhaps not enough imagination to get out of it yet. And it's really becoming apparent that i need to fix myself up asap, with increasing negative physical as well as psychological symptoms. The only person who could possibly help me, is the one who is closest to me. He is also an infp, we understand each other in a really deep level. But he's serving in the military right now, so we don't get much time to talk to each other. He's told me to wait patiently, and that he'd come for me as soon as he's out of military. So that's a silver lining. For now I'm just stuck in a tiny boat floating in the middle of a vast ocean, with no idea as to which way is home. And too many thoughts racing through my mind.. without knowing which one to focus on. There is so much to this world, i can't even put it in proper words. But then I realise, many people likely don't even care about it, so is it really worth something thinking about, if many people are anyways going to be their own worst enemy and eventually destroy all the beauty that there is in this world? Actually I would really appreciate if someone could give me an answer for that, or just your opinions. And thank you, for sitting through and reading all of that.

[@jupiterbloom4115]

Well, as a fellow INFP, I do believe that we can make the world a better place but we need to understand that ignorance is part of the human nature which we as An INFP trying to break loose from. We want everyone to feel safe, validated, even Eco friendly. We care about the little to bigger picture of what makes this world amazing. And it truly is. Humans has been the main problem really but I don’t want you to stop trying. If you can change one or two person’s perspective, I think that is a great contribute for the world. Because who knows...those one or two person might become the next president

[@carolinamilanesio6057]

I loved that question, I immediately imagined it as a line for a movie. I’d say I kind of feel the same, I’m trying to he as eco friendly as possible but for some reason I constantly feel judged for it, or even ashamed. Like ashamed of what?? I think we should be more selfish as Infps, do what we want to do because WE want that, and stop caring about if other people will say something or appreciate us.

[@nozuko333]

Beyonce once said "I'm learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don't have to prove anything to anyone, I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world. I run my world."... Maybe forget about the rest of the world and take care of your world. Give yourself permission to tell your truth. Who knows what your sensitivity can bring forth to the world.

[@nevamoore5192]

That's a pretty big ticket question. Personally, I would say, just take your time and do what you can. Dealing with an overactive mind plus all the extra negative perceptions from the outside world can end up being a lot to handle. But you should never allow those negative perceptions get in the way of you expressing your core values. You are here for a reason, if only to make a small part of the world a bit brighter and there are ppl out there who might see what you're doing and follow suit because they feel the same way. Your voice and perspective matters. Never forget that.

[@draug7966]

It can be incredibly frustrating feeling misunderstood and like you just don´t fit in to this world. Like you´re inserted in a place where most people think differently and act differently and value things differently. But it´s not necessarily a bad thing, being the weirdos we are makes us able to see how some things of wich many would say "that´s just the way it is" really isn´t fair or doesn´t make any sense. Never stop advocating the things you care for, let´s say you write a blog post or just a comment like this and it makes 1 person start thinking and going "hmm, maybe we should try to change this", then you have achieved something cause 1 person is still better than no person. And also, i take it as you´re pretty young and if it´s any comfort to you, it gets better with age. The older you get the less you care about other peoples opinions and judgments.

[@Rockllllr]

Love to see authenticity Belind a camera, also the little struggle in verbalizing is a sweet punch in my belly because i felt it like it was mine

[@lattemacchiato858]

I'm INFP, though twice the test said I was INFJ and I relate to everything you are saying, because of "speech issues" , not wanting to be mean and other INFP traits like not showing self confidence I think people don't take me seriously

[@njish1109]

That would make sense being since there is overlaps of all the types between :) though most of your traits might resemble an INFJ there might also be those which resemble an INFP.

[@akfi96]

It's too relatable i regret watching the video, like i feel even more sad there is someone nearly identical to me while I can't just be physically there with u for support , it seriously hurts me right now, i hope u r doing fine cuz it can get tough

[@rippingcorpse6667]

Holy shit, this video actually made me emotional lol 😂😂😂. I don't think I've ever, in my life, talked to someone that I relate to as much as this. For the first time in my life I felt understood and not like some anomaly, it brought me to tears 😅. Thank you for making and sharing this video

[@megiMove]

I married an INFP. Im an ENFP... the only person who has ever understood me... INFP are diamonds and often tend to get into toxic relationships and often suffer healing and understanding their deep emotions if they haven't dont alot of inquiry or ayahuasca... it helps alot having an ENFP to push them out of their dark hole 😅🤣

[@JamesTaylor117]

Relate to the 'unable to verbalise thoughts' thing a whole lot... I revise comments on the internet a bunch too lol. We are perfectionists I guess. Great video, subbed ;)

[@icepower6249]

Haha! Well you made some good points - definitely encrypted in INFP. We make great extraverts, just gotta plan to recharge after the extraverted activities. The more you do it the easier it gets. I do public speaking no problem tbh. It might be hard to talk and express things initially, I usually write down points in a semi-organized fashion so it doesn't come out as soup (we're way better at writing). Don't worry too much about the misunderstandings out there, the ones worth your message get you, the people that aren't, don't. Its a natural filter really :). This video popped on my feed, and it made me feel not so alone, so thank you! You rock. P.S. Best way to end the video!! Haha! - Only INFP/INFJs get the INF mic-drop 😅😅

[@ItsaSecretEU]

My God, this is one of the most relatable videos I have watched on KZbin in years. Thanks! 😅 I wish you the best of luck and hope you are still valuing staying true to yourself and being authentic. ❤

[@Sucellusification]

While maturing (I'm still on it), knowing that I'm an INFP, I managed to turn most of that emotion into joy and an overwhelming energy and passion, and it's beautiful

[@rouchikarout4998]

you just pinpointed everything i feel,think and face. This is the exact thing i expressed aloud to......myself / to the the walls of my room. :)

[@Granzteelvids]

2:40 I am an INFP myself. I once had an hour and a half meeting in my office in an effort to cover all agendas because I didn't make an index card of what to cover

[@Nonameherefolks]

When you mentioned maladaptive daydreaming, it hit home. I felt exposed😅 and when you said “the world is istj/estj” I couldn’t agree more and it makes me so sad

[@liltunturi1251]

I have been struggling a lot, I try not to make others worried ever, because simply they cannot help my situation. I know logically what is required of me, I know logically what could potentially make me feel better. There really isnt much somebody could tell me, that I havent either heard or thought about before. I have been chronically escaping reality, I just never feel welcome anywhere else, but in nature all by myself. And whenever I get the chance and I am in mood I also create fantasy worlds as to almost inspire and motivate myself to deal with otherwise painfully mundane tasks of life. I also always visualize any future events and fantasize about things that will probably never happen.. in great detail. This is a gift and a curse, because it also creates a room in my mind that is very prone for anxiety to build up. I guess the point I am trying to reach is that we as INFPs feel alienated in the world, lost and stuck. But we just have to find our way to go about life, for once actually do that thing we are terrified about and when we have an idea, just give it a go! Create our way of going about life, and sometimes it takes years or decades. We have a really really hard mission, because ironically we are so tolerant to others and try seeing them in the good light, but for ourselves... fundamentally if we arent fulfilling some kind of deeper purpose, we really deeply feel that we DONT deserve to feel happy and content. In our core we have to do something meaningful, otherwise we feel meaningless, and that is really hard to live with.

[@ish-shv4475]

the pauses when you're speaking, laughing and hand movement. I do all of these things, when I can't explain what I'm trying to say, I laugh awkwardly and try and communicate it through hand gestures

[@susanmartin870]

Im 43. I have always thought that i articulated well, or that I bombed it. Apparently, i do articulate well when given the time to do so. I have been told i could be a professional public speaker even! Life is a journey. We are all beautifully made. Different is wonderful. Enjoy who you are. Embrace it. Have no regrets. As you mature, you will see that none of the worries added any value to your life, and what other people thought never became revealed to you.

[@anyaknight5481]

I’m an INFP with 58% introversion. Im sorry you are feeling like you have trouble communicating. Keep trying and push yourself to be socially capable to connect and communicate. INFP doesn’t mean we have social anxiety or that we are shy or even antisocial. A healthy INFP has close friends and values those intimate conversations with people one on one or two on one more intimate gatherings. I hate to see advice for INFP’s to go and retreat and isolate (which we do naturally) or to go sleep. That’s not healthy in anyway to advice someone to hide further or sleep. I recommend taking a look at the stack of cognitive functions of the INFP. There are far better coping mechanisms that allow us to still have our rich inner world and still maintain intimate connections. Please normalize our beautiful personality type in a healthy way. We are weird in a unique way but we aren’t weirdos. #healthyinfp

[@pink_n_squishy973]

If all you have is time alone and not any people you can drain yourself with, you can end up ODing on loneliness and be completely out of touch.

[@itskylielockheart]

Lol ODing on loneliness! Definitely been there it’s a pretty true thing

[@yoyoma17]

You are most definitely an INFP... very sweet to see.

[@Sleep1ng_Panda]

Thank you for this! Im an infj but i felt like i understood this! Some of my friends are infps and i wanna make life easier for them, any infps got suggestions on ways i can just be a better and more understanding friend?

[@Wellch]

Studies shows that usually INFP and InFJ jell/connect well.

[@CuteFluff8]

I just had a realization recently! I have a super power! Awkwardness! 🙌🏻😅 And I’m gonna learn how to harness it in settings when I would stress out and feel ashamed for being me. Instead, I will enjoy my own company with a group of people.

[@surajpandey6388]

I see so much of myself in you, thank you for making this video 🙏

[@MysteryProductsLtd]

I only discovered I am an INFP (or about the Myers Briggs thing) recently. But I had already read Jung and have been daydreaming since childhood long before knowing it fitted in with a system that was probably invented later than my childhood. So, anyway, I learnt how to communicate complex emotions and inner processes, I found ways to do that. But also I would recommend not worrying about being 'authentic' when you get asked 'How's it going?', just say 'Fine.' it's ok. It makes no difference since you will carry on being an intense daydreaming weirdo but you have saved someone from having to worry about you. Sorry I just wrote this quickly for something to say so it's sort of flippant. Bye.

[@reemalzubaidy9434]

How did u manage to communicate with other ppl I really want to do that but I don’t know how

[@MysteryProductsLtd]

I'm not professionally qualified to give advice but I can tell you something about my own process. We're talking about developing languages that encompass complex thoughts and emotions and my own interests led me into studying spirituality, psychology, metaphysics, philosophy (and even astrology, the deeper aspects of which also led into psychology and works like those of Jung). That also led to me discussing the things I found of interest or that I felt described things for me with people, studying those things gave me a language for them. At least that is one aspect of something that helped me learn how to communicate more of what constituted my personality than I had been able to when younger. I hope I am not misunderstanding the question. Some people of course still seemed to not understand me but then it's like anything, it takes time and a process of learning how to get better at something. As I said in my comment though, I don't think it is necessary to communicate everything to everyone and working with basic call and response with people works well also, so learning about populist subjects helps make a bridge also, for instance knowing about sport has helped me in various situations. Of course this is just a snapshot of a process that helped me learn to communicate and might be completely inappropriate for other people.

[@reemalzubaidy9434]

@@MysteryProductsLtd aha thanks for taking the time to explain to me , what I understood is that “ I have to learn how to communicate like a skill “ I get that I am getting better at communication with age

[@MysteryProductsLtd]

Totally agree. Seeing that learning how to communicate is the same as developing any other skill, and understanding that as a long term process that is worth committing to, for an INFP is a really powerful life intention, because INFPs have such a vast wealth of subconscious and supra-conscious material to work with and try to sort through and get across. That is in fact why out of hundreds of INFP focused videos I have watched, this one by Kylie Lockhart is so brilliant, because it really homes in on this, which is such a vital subject for INFPs and she captures it so well in how she describes it, it resonates with other INFPs at a deep level.

[@upsidedownkingdom5263]

A prophetic man from down south came up to my city for a united service with peeps from all different churches in my city and surrounds. I had been studying at Polytech and most of my classmates were struggling with some major issues in their lives. I really wished I could have communicated about how God is real and knows their situations and loves them, but I just could not find a way to even begin to express anything helpful in words in a way that wasn't off putting, so I had just prayed for them, tried to help with their classwork, and that was really all I did. But i felt like I had been so selfish keeping something so good to myself and not sharing. Anyway, I (the infp who doesn't normally get noticed in a group) was in the crowd at the church and the prophetic guy pointed me out and tears started streaming down his face and with so much compassion and understanding he said (on behalf of God as prophetic people do) "you want to get what is inside of you out, I know." He said "You are a worshipper and I will speak through you with song and with unusual sounds 😂" I was struck by his expression of emotion about something so small (compared to sicknesses and traumas he had been praying for etc for others) and his compassion and understanding about the very thing I had been thinking, when he doesn't know me from a bar of soap! It felt like God/Jesus was speaking through him to me - not accusing me of holding back or being cowardly or selfish or even trying to change me, but just understanding my struggle and bearing the emotional weight of it with love.

[@uwumarii]

5:35 omg this right here rules my life on the day to day basis. Sometimes I would say something and lose myself in my thoughts and feelings that I would just totally miss the point of what I’m saying. Add to that I have 10,000 words per miles in my brain and idk how to funnel it out of my mouth and summarize it into a couple of words

[@emmag3477]

Wow I haven't related to something so much in so long. The notes on difficulty verbalizing things right + daydreaming especially. I feel so seen, this video seriously felt like a hug from a long-lost friend. Thanks so much for this 🥲 so nice to be reminded that I'm not alone in all of this

[@itskylielockheart]

💕💕💕

[@nr1877]

i'm giggling with that "spread some, some, some, aware- infp awareness" bcs this feels way too relatable :")

[@wills3835]

I'm an ENFP dating an INFP for the first time! We understand each other's needs, so far...we have the same morals and values, and I believe I will ask her to marry me.

[@Arlo-42]

It feels like I look at myself speaking. Absolutely resonate with everything you said and how you said it. Sending lots of love❤

[@oceanakelley465]

I am an INFJ and have an INFP. Friend, this really helped me to understand more where she was coming from. I really appreciate you putting up this video, thank you.

[@sabawhy]

Hi! Fellow INFP here. I can related to every single thing you’ve said. 🥺 Thanks for this video and putting it out there. Sending so much love 💕

[@peerlesscucumber9522]

1:45 the reason is bcs we have Ne aux in our cognitive function. our speech pattern is very scattered bcs we're more of the "think while talking" type of person so there would be moment where we would be distracted with new thoughts and ideas that would pop out in our brain which hinder us to talk in a deliberate and smooth manner. even in this vid i could really see your Ne. and like you said, we often went off the script. thats how Ne works

[@lanodramallama]

Don't wish away your introversion, it can be a superpower, and the world needs us!

[@daveswensen9627]

Late viewer but I just recently discovered that I am an INFP at 65 and it has been enlightening. The fact that you made this video and it is a help to others is a huge gift to humankind. Thanks!

[@itskylielockheart]

Thank u so much for this kind comment 💕

[@tangleddaises9366]

Hi! Oh my gosh, I feel like I rarely see myself in other people but watching your video I was able to relate so much. Thank you for expressing what I’ve always wanted to say!

[@pompomsquirrel]

I’m INFP and I’ve discovered that with other people who are so similar to me, often INFPs or INFJs but not exclusively, I’ve been a lot more able to verbally express myself. I often end up oversharing but I don’t always feel like it’s oversharing bc in the moment it just feels necessary and natural, as if I was going down one of those mental rabbit holes in my head to myself but instead I’m doing that with someone else. I get completely absorbed in the conversation and I could talk about inner worlds and introspection for hours 😂 does anyone else find this happening when you’re with people who you know won’t judge you because they feel the exact same things? You can tell them about any existential crisis and listen to all of theirs in detail and social cues don’t matter bc you’re both so absorbed in it

[@themagnetonurfridge6932]

This was so validating thankyou❤

[@SeeingStarz64]

I don't know of many INFPs.. then again, I'm so shy! Most people like to talk about themselves. I'm learning to do the same and just enjoy the moment! It's so easy for me to get lost in the past and future.. seeing vivid memories and getting caught up in the feelings they gave me.. still give me. Really neat video! Thank you for sharing your perspective! Something about you reminds me of Natalie Portman!! :P

[@yutingd2009]

5:30 this comment on “there always gonna be misunderstanding” (in an E/ISTJ dominated world) got me. I feel I still not fully understand myself.

[@clotildemartinezlopez7017]

Jung's intention with the personality types wasn't to put people in boxes (but using them as a tool to help people develop and not being in those precise boxes), but I think it's so easy for people to do this with MBTI and it's really one of the downsides of it, because it limits people or justify “toxic” traits (just like some people who like astrology do) and also gives the permission to people to judge if you're able to do something based on your personality type which is kind of messed up

[@madelynmartin3413]

Yeah, some mornings while getting ready for work, I am so in my feelings that I dont feel prepared to interact with people without suffering a bit

[@kaiyachrystal]

I feel genuinely understood. Thank you :) your so beautiful girly!!! 💗💖💗💖💗💖

[@FoundSanctity]

As an infp I feel so comfortable listening to her emotionally and psychologically

[@jamesw8132]

Ouch… too close to home, that melancholy feeling is a constant. Even the happiest moments are tinged with sadness, my youngest son graduated primary school, everyone is happy and moved on. I felt it and still do almost a year later.

[@mehmeteminyldrm3677]

I said “omg, she is really an infp” as soon as I started the video 😀 I really liked most of statements, especially the one about istj’s. My best friend is an istj, while I’m an infp. We were troubling in the first time of our friendship (we are bf’s for 10 years now), but now, we are okay and happy about this difference. And yes, istj’s are really interesting for us 😀

[@chuckdavidson5483]

Are there INFP group meetups like there are for ADHD? I'm at the end of my INFP firkin' rope.

[@gwendolynwebb8886]

Life can be hard as an INFP. I feel like a walking contradiction of myself ,constantly misunderstood, and alone.

[@pepper222]

I can literally cry speaking the single word about what actually is going on...plus people don't get the depth....

[@michael007ish]

"Moving off the script a bit." 🤣🤣 There's never been a better description for me.

[@upulieh]

Grinning for ear to ear! Even our speech patterns are much similar.

[@joannatruscott4733]

Ive explored my inner self sooo much, I am very self aware. I am so far removed from my instant family they don't get me. Or if they do they Judge me. Or critisise me alot. I am me, I am never going to be anyone or anything else but me. I have a bubbly personality though, although I can feel melancholy at times it really depends on the people I speak to regularly. Its finding our own tribe that helps us come out of our shells. I spend alot of time by myself and have to be expressive. I love being an introvert, but also wish at times I can be more extraverted. I learnt how to be more extraverted by working in retail and I love parties, I like to be witty and have deep conversations but yes like you I hate small talk. Its so boring to me.

[@jacobwilliams5271]

I am an INTP, my little sister is an INFP and we can't stand each other. Its like she can't answer the most simple question, and often makes things 100 times worse because she never speaks up. Yet she likes to walk around saying she is "depressed" and "frustrated" even though to solve her problems all she has to do is the most simple stuff. She also tends to ignore good advice with her nose in the air. I've tried to connect with the kid, I just can't stand her personality.

[@Clover501]

That’s unfortunate, I recommend you watch C.S Joseph, and watch all videos about INFPs and learn why she’s acting the way she’s acting…watching those videos have the answer…

[@togek1ss]

i'm an INFP and my parents/friends/boyfriend are INTP's and we get along perfectly. dont think its an mbti thing, maybe you two just simply not get along.

[@Ordinaryegg878]

As an INFP, I've come across this video and spaced out while listening to you talking about spacing out. I swear this brain is just---

[@Moist_Froghands-fh4wy]

I'm an ENFP, however, when I first took the myers briggs test I found out I was 51% extroverted and 49% introverted and at the time learning this had cleared up a lot of the weird tendencies I had with communicating and the lack of real connection I felt. Growing up I felt like I could never say the right things and I always felt tons of emotions that again I couldn't properly communicate without feeling insecure or that it wasn't important enough for others to care about. I used to wander from group to group and it has taken me a lot of time to finally feel like I actually belong somewhere and to confidently feel like the Extrovert younger me so badly wanted to be. I sometimes still feel that more closed emotional side of myself, but I'm just happy to truly feel like me

[@theartofbeingyou9875]

I really like your video. You expressed yourself beautifully. I'm an ESFP - I really appreciate authenticity as well. I'm curious to know more about your relationship with physical reality. Would you go skiing?

[@itskylielockheart]

Hmm… never considered skiing before, I think I’d be too scared to do that lol

[@elenag6415]

Your my current infp mood 😅 it’s so fuckin hard to verbalize literally everything I think it’s one of the most difficult infp trades, but still I love our type

[@petemarch1384]

Very good! Thank you for the great video Kylie.

[@scourneene]

It can be hard to speak and depending with who as an INFP. I was asked to be In a leadership role of a local humanitarian group and I declined and told them I can write them advisory letters instead and advise one on one. I find that if put on the spot try to turn it around and ask them questions in conversation.

[@hunterjohnson7393]

Kylie, I liked your vent. Really, thanks for venting. As an INTJ dating an INFP (I introduced her to the MBTI), well, as an INTJ, I have a desire to know EVERYTHING I can about everything, so your insights are invaluable. (1) Using a cue from the movie Interstellar, she and I made a pact to be 100% honest (vs 90% or less), and to create a safe space where whatever we say is protected speech. I'm sorry you feel you can't share openly. I'm a thinker--but feelings are real, too, and your feelings are even more important than facts. Do not be afraid to share. (2) What do you find boring about the "real" world? I find it boring, too--maybe that's why this INTJ and "my" INFP work well together, because I am always looking forward--the INFP is always looking backwards perhaps? Or to a world they can imagine but don't know how to create...that's where the INTJ comes in: I see the future, and I create it. And if an INFP can help me imagine a different end-state, well, that's OK by me. (3) most importantly, being misunderstood is NOT an inevitability. Get the right (small group of friends; as an IN, I know what that means) and you will not be understood. PS I'm 62, she's 58. All this takes a bit of time.

[@이십삼번]

who defines what's normal though? in my experience as long as people come across as confident people will look up to them and think of them as "normal" but if we really want to blend in we can use the Ne to analyze pattern and adjust to that 🤔

[@upsidedownkingdom5263]

Hehe true, but hard to come across as confident while fumbling for words and having mind blanks haha. Actually was surprised to realise my ENFP mum does the same sometimes yet she remains confident and manages to still keep everyone engaged in whatever funny story she is telling.

[@charmmaeonineza1501]

As an INFP, I agree with that. I dabble with art and words and I teach, too, yet when it comes to speaking about my feelings, needs, or my personal interests, I find it hard to articulate. People always misunderstand one or two words I say. Some also either miss the point, or think they already got my message down pat when in fact they've only barely scratched the surface. Other times, just when they wish to know me more it was during those times I was unavailable because my mind flew somewhere (i.e. daydreaming, worldbuilding lol). So yeah, in the end sometimes it's better not to verbalize anything.