Angry, Dysregulated, Can't Think? Here's How to Feel Better ASAP!

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[@madamedennis6726]

Disregulated...I had no idea it was a thing. I've experienced this all my life. Better now but still happens on occasion. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us and how you walk through this! I think just knowing it's a real thing, it may help real me in faster. Thank you💕

[@TheFinalBathAmber]

Same

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it helped! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@BrainSturgeon]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy your team does incredible work with CCF

[@BELOVED_JOSIE]

It’s so embarrassing I feel so much shame when I get dysregulated especially around people

[@daniellecharming]

Me too

[@Dagmahra]

Me as well :)

[@vnette9777]

Same but I remind myself that No one is perfect we all have bad moments and I forgive myself for it and try to move on but yes it's so embarrassing when I lose it.

[@ixizn]

I’m right there with you, but try to remember that the shame in itself can be (and often is) dysregulated too, so don’t forget to be kind towards yourself. Shame serves no purposes other than making us feel bad. Guilt is one thing if we’ve done something wrong we need to set right, but shame is likely from our childhood and not something we should’ve ever been forced to carry to begin with. Lots of love ♥️

[@vnette9777]

@@ixizn ♥️🙏Thank you.

[@shimmeringchimps3842]

I can 100% confirm that limiting how much you keep repeating a story and stop ruminating is THE KEY to happiness. That was a major part of my healing.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@kareng7397]

It takes me 2-3 days at least to get better after anything that causes anxiety for me

[@steve4524]

Me to Karey It’s good to know we are not alone on this journey

[@wallysmith6344]

The part where she said she used to cry everyday.That where I’m at now.😢

[@kimhodgson1748]

Same with me

[@luannkelly5071]

Getting ripped off disregulates me big time. I was ripped off and defrauded by an interstate moving company. I lost 3/4;of my household belongings and still haven't recovered 3 years later. Your Mr. Roger's method has been helping me so much.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so sorry that happened, thanks for sharing. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@erkrabeusylime]

This happened to me too I’m so sorry it’s incredibly stressful

[@cookiesmom584]

Me too. Super hypersensitive to getting conned & lied to since it’s happened so many times in my life. I think we can all relate, deserve to forgive ourselves, be gentle with ourselves, accept, learn and grow💕💕 LOVE this honest community.

[@Lulu-gg2zq]

My name is Luanne too. Just spelled differently.

[@sonorasenora5911]

They just don't get any more real and transparent as you are Anna...so APPRECIATED bc that's NOT easy for people like you and us...THANK YOU

[@bethtaylor9773]

Thank you for your honesty. Yes, I can be triggered by someone acting like people did when I was growing up - especially the denial of reality. I think that my brain gets stuck on an a round and round track of trying to figure out how to fix it - when it's not something I can fix. The daily practice (step 10 for me) is absolutely helpful. Then doing a quick step 7 to ask that fear and anger and resentment be taken away - whatever part of it that God wants to remove right then. It's a process. Eventually, God lets me know what I can and can't do about it. I memorize some of the Psalms and other scriptures and say those each morning in order to remember that God is in control not me and that He's protecting me. The dysregulation doesn't happen often, but my idea is that it's normal to a degree after the upbringing I had - which isn't happening now. Thank you for the other techniques.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you have some steps to take :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@Julie-iw3mh]

@ Beth Taylor Hi Beth which Psalms do you read and scriptures that help you understand God is in control and not us? I like your comment and I do the same but have terrible anxiety and fears and worries.

[@bethtaylor9773]

@@Julie-iw3mh I think that it's different for each person - that what God resonates for each individual is like an iep (individualized education plan). My personal favorites are Psalm 1, Psalm 23, Psalm 27, Psalm 91, Psalm 96, and Psalm 103. Have memorized over time those and say them each morning - it's like a prayer. I started small and just expanded. Also Matthew 5:3 through the rest in pieces; John 1:1-18, John 15 the whole chapter. My favorite is Philippians 4:4-9 - that's where I started, and it grew. I think the Lord will lead you to your own playlist as you need it bit by bit. Thank you for asking and letting me share that.

[@Julie-iw3mh]

@@bethtaylor9773 Thank you Beth for sharing this. Have you had to do a lot of work to recover and did you suffer trauma depression anxiety on this journey ? Sorry to ask more questions, it just gives me hope I can get a bit better. Been so unwell for 3+ years and it's been a long time of daily suffering. Holding on by fingertips most days.

[@bethtaylor9773]

@@Julie-iw3mh Yes, lots of 'work' - in Al-Anon working steps with a sponsor. It was a gradual erasing of the old idea that people have the power to make me or break me and a replacement of those old feelings of being unloved and not being able to trust...with the awareness of God's power to make me ok anyway - that He loves me and that Jesus loves me - that He is living and so trustworthy

[@susanfrongillo4509]

Anna, you are a godsend! Seriously! I’m a 58 yr old woman who has suffered from childhood sexual snd emotional abuse and parental alcoholism. Your teachings have helped me so much! My emotions and behavior feels validated and I now feel like I have tools to work on it! Thankyou! I feel like i was guided to your channel. Huge!♥️

[@lindsays2007]

This video couldn’t have come to me on a better day! Lots of stress today. House hunting, big job interview coming, dealing with in-laws, on top of my partner being in a wheelchair due to a chronic disease. But just hearing your story and what you’ve been going through with your emotions, and how you pull yourself out of the pit, gave me sooo much comfort! The guidance was great and I feel like I can breathe again.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yay, that's great :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@Fae313]

Anna, this video couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m not embarrassed to say your channel and the timing of your videos feels like divine grace. Thank you for your work, by healing yourself you have been able to help so many others heal. You are an inspiration and a model for us all 🙏❤️

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So appreciate your support! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@keelydunhill2308]

I couldn’t agree with you more…❤

[@goodgrief888]

For some of us who grew up in extreme dysfunction with a caregiving adult who made us walk on eggshells and saw malice in even our best of intentions, the suggestion of doing a good deed for someone you know can give us flashbacks to the many times our good deeds were looked at sideways. I even gave my BPD older sister flowers relatively recently after she caused a lot of problems in my life, but I wanted to rise above the situation, let her know I wasn’t angry, and that I was going to let it all go. She accepted the flowers, and I believed we were in a good place. But word got back to me that the story being told among my family members was that I “threw” flowers at her in anger. That’s the last time that we spoke, or will ever speak. Definitely doing something kind for someone YOU DON’T KNOW where they won’t find out you did it is the ultimate in feeling good about yourself. I know you also suggested that, and I want to acknowledge that as well. And that’s something I have found can be the least triggering for those of us who grew up in extreme dysfunction. There’s a womens shelter across the street from me that houses women and their small children from abusive situations. They accept money, but also gifts of unopened food, toys, and clothes. It feels good to give anonymously to that shelter and know that I’m not a “selfish evil malicious POS” like my older sister has always told me that I am. :)

[@debraspence3559]

I had similar experiences as you where I was treated like the enemy as if I was a horrible person for just being a child. There is an underlying part of me that wants desperately for people to know that I mean them no harm and that I'm a "good" person. Sending a virtual hug 🤗

[@goodgrief888]

@@debraspence3559 thank you, Debra! I appreciate the virtual hug and am sending one right back! Back at the beginning of our relationship, I felt the need to force my husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) to say things to me like “You’re a good person. You’re not a bad person.” I didn’t even realize it at the time where all of that came from. I just thought everyone else was getting all kinds of verbal acknowledgement all the time and I wasn’t, and needed to tell people how to say it out loud. Now that I’ve permanently separated myself from my super toxic and dysfunctional family, who were still, until very recently, coming into my life and completely derailing it, creating complete chaos, and causing me massive anxiety and panic attacks because of their lies, gaslighting, and scapegoating me even decades after we all left our parents home, I have finally been able to see very clearly how much better my life goes when I don’t have any contact with them, and how suddenly all of my “chemical imbalances”, not to mention my constant need to be reassured that I’m not a bad person, not an evil person, that I’m ok, that I am not the cause of everyone else’s problems all the time, etc, it all stops after a few weeks of not having any contact with anyone in my family. Weird!!!???!?

[@debraspence3559]

@@goodgrief888 wow that's wonderful!!!

[@goodgrief888]

@@debraspence3559 Oh, and I want to say, with the help of The Crappy Childhood Fairy, who taught me about dysregulation and the neurological changes that happen to a person who is continuing traumatized with verbal and emotional abuse. I really had no idea that I had CPTSD until stumbling upon the Crappy Childhood Fairy’s videos. Now I’m actually doing hard work in therapy, and watching her videos, and writing, to undo all of the years of damage. And won’t let them damage me anymore. It’s been super hard to get everyone around me to understand that this is what I need is to stay away from these people, but my therapist and my husband both said, after the flower situation happened “I think you shouldn’t have contact with these people anymore.” It’s validating to know I’m not imagining these things. Thanks for listening and sharing your story too

[@kimhodgson1748]

@@goodgrief888 my childhood is very similar to yours, I too only realized I had CPTSD from watching Childhood crappy fairy, may I ask what kind of therapy you are having as I have had therapy in the past and it has never helped heal my symptoms and trauma. I know I need therapy but I dont know where to start to find someone who can help me

[@MariahRuthven]

All your videos are helpful, but when you share your own experience it makes me feel more connected to you. Thank you for sharing this and sharing your techniques. I have similar ways, thanks to you, but seeing you talk about it and knowing you are actually practicing your own healing makes me realize 2 things. 1 : I have a long way to go and 2: it’s okay, because look at you being an inspiration. Thank you Anna.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We all have a long way to go, and we get comfortable with that. Here's a link to the Daily Practice technique :) bit.ly/38JfzK1 -Cara@TeamFairy

[@kathleenmagois7904]

Thanks for sharing this ! I was recently the victim of a fraud. Once I got everything stopped and ironed out, I was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and shame of feeling like this senile old woman and a total mark. I didn't even want to leave the house. You're right that talking about these feelings doesn't help, just stirs them up even more. Writing them out though really does help to put things into perspective. I really appreciate all your help and support.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad writing them out was helpful for moving forward. Sending you encouragement. - Ashley, Team Fairy

[@honestreviewer3050]

I have been watching your videos for the past 7 months and this is the first time I have commented. I just want you to know how pivotal you have been in my life. I’m tearing up just writing this. I have a clearer understanding of myself and an amount of grace that I never thought I could have. Thank you thank you thank you for finally giving me a name to what I have been experiencing my whole life since an extremely damaging and violent childhood. It’s changed my self perception from being a damaged person that someone will just have to learn to tolerate, to hope that I can actually heal and get the relationship I know I want and deserve. I have yet to experience a more powerful resource and actual tools that will help me. I know you hear this all the time but I really hope that it sinks in. You bring hope love and understanding to so many out there and I am so very grateful that you decided to follow your heart so that you could help the hearts of so many others. I am eternally grateful that I came across your channel and I’ve already purchased your dating course. Keep on shining!

[@redhead911126]

Idk if I have cptsd but I found all of this incredibly relatable. That's exactly how it feels when I get angry with people. I also found that working in increments is a game changer earlier this year, it helped me do things even when I feel depressed

[@ShadaeMastersAstrology]

I’d love to try out working in increments as it’s extremely challenging for me to work through negative emotions. Do you mind sharing some tips that have worked well for you?

[@nainasarkar183]

Yes please, share some tips

[@sybilizzard6401]

I'm so sorry you had a bad week and I'm sorry for anyone who struggles with emotions. Today I also had a terrible day falling out with narc family members. I was domineered and gaslighted and left like a sack of worthlessness. I'm not perfect but I do have so much empathy and I get almost zero back just domineerance and I'm not enough. I know the absolute darkness and loneliness and powerless and self blame and feel detached from the world. Right now I want you all to know I care you feel bad and I care that you should feel better and I want that for all of you and you are not alone despite where you are and what's happening. We all on same earth and when we feel terrible there are others that do too and they would want you to be OK so please just remember that as this vid and comments made me realise this. Care about yourself like others would even though we seem so far apart. We are all here.X

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Appreciate the message of love! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@bethtaylor9773]

I remember when I was at the lowest point of my life. I called my sponsor in AlAnon, but she was out of town, so i called my grandmother sponsor....who told me to go do something for somebody else. I thought, "You don't know what you're talking about!" But she did. I did what she told me - had to not get caught doing it - and it helped a great deal. I remember baking quadruple batches of cookies and taking them to the counter at AA - multiple times' when I was so angry....for people who were actually trying to get sober lol!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Good work!

[@bethtaylor9773]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Yes, it worked :)

[@Liz-sc5dg]

Coming back from being disregulated, I have a long cry and snuggle with my cat, drink ice water, I have some really favorite episodes of Time Team UK that help me feel grounded then I can go for a walk and have some protein. It took me a long time to figure out what would help. I'm grateful for the crappy childhood fairy for guiding me through the muck.

[@susannavancole2868]

Anna, the more I watch you, the more I love you; you are so genuine, honest, raw and vulnerable. With sincere appreciation and thanks to you, I finally believe that at 57, I have the chance to heal: You have lived my life; You've crawled, and walked, your way out of a cave covered in rocks AND snow !! You truly are a Crappy Childhood, and, Crappy Life ANGEL because you genuinely CARE ... Thank you so much; You're an Inspiration and a BLESSING🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Aw, thank you!

[@amberhyland]

A panic attack threw my whole day’s plans out the window today. I felt like the sky was caving in on me and I was exhausted - slept the entire afternoon. Thank you for this video!! It’s so nice to know there’s hope on the other side of this

[@bethtaylor9773]

I taught special ed LLD for 34 years. You're right - writing is VAKT (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, tactice) and works neurologically. The auditory for me is reading what I've written to someone else and to God.

[@Connie10000]

Amen sister...me too

[@daniellecharming]

Thank you for sharing your personal experience

[@marc1391]

It is so helpful to hear you have the courage to tell us how you are still so affected by cPTSD so we can understand that even someone we admire and learn from is not immune to the setbacks we all face. It’s easy for me to assume that you have conquered all - and so reassuring to hear that it is ok to have a week long reaction to something like this and that there are things you and we can do to get out of it. Thanks for sharing your current struggles.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for hearing the message! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@cristinaevans139]

Ps singing really helps as a tool for me to reregulate and you don’t have to be good at it but slowly improving is so fulfilling ❤

[@platosbeard3476]

You probably know this, but singing, or humming, stimulates the vagus nerve, which leads to a relaxation response. Personally, I like to insert my pet's name into popular songs (I may be a bit weird 😅).

[@leahweinberger583]

Ooh...good to know

[@ixizn]

First of all, I’m sorry you’ve been going through this, Anna. Thank you for sharing with us. I’ve been incredibly let down by doctors in the past year and have been so upset about it that it’s hard to function, like on top of my usually really bad C-PTSD symptoms. Came back here to get some comfort from someone I know will speak to my heart and put words to my experiences and emotions, and you never fail to do just that. Love to you dear human, I know we don’t know each other but your kindness has such an impact on many people’s lives. I hope you know that and it can brighten your bad days even if just a little bit! God bless you. 🤍🌻

[@robynmarler3839]

Strongly agree! X

[@lindsays2007]

It’s lovely how you put into words how she impacts you. Great compliments to her! I’m sorry the medical community is failing you. That’s tough and so disheartening at the very least. Hang in there!! 💙

[@ixizn]

@@lindsays2007 Thank you for the kind words! All the best to you 💛🌸

[@nadyabrand4444]

This video came at the perfect time. Had the crappiest day filled with shame and humiliation and self pity which I rarely allow myself. I cried. Haven’t done that in months. Still need to cry some more and move on. Thanks sooo much. 💚

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank YOU so much for being here! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@jsmith7240]

I watched The Incredibles film last night, each one in the family having a super power. Watching Anna talk about steering herself out of dysregulation is a super-power!! I relate to everything you said today (sorry you had that experience), but it's a comfort in a wierd way to know I feel like you and others with Cptsd because otherwise it is a horrible place to be with no tools to change it. Thank you Anna for sharing your super powers so we can all learn how to get out of dysregulation and understand and not beat ourselves up xx 🦸‍♂️💐

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I have fond memories of watching that movie with my kids, thanks for the reminder :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@hayden9389]

When you desrcribe yourself as the crappy childhood fairy, it seems you truly are. I have spent the past 15 years effected by cPTSD and didn't even know. I stumbled upon your channel in a mid off-work-in-bed doing nothing wracking my brain for answers on why my relationships in my mid 20s have become deeply difficult. I understood i had issues with alcohol from having an alcoholic parent but never really knew this severe. It all makes sense now. I sit with a book you recommend 3 days after finding your channel. I sat this morning and mapped out my mind with post it notes on my wall and began to work it all out thanks to you. Deeply thankful for your work. You gave me a deep sense of inspiration at a time where i truly felt lost. Started to see a future today. again thankyou so much.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's wonderful, thank you for sharing and for giving yourself the gift of doing this important work! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@pixieblue1916]

Thank you so much for doing what you do. My whole life I’ve always felt like no one truly understands me or my dysregulated states, even I didn’t understand them! Until now ❤ This is just an absolute blessing!

[@chilloften]

It’s so nice to hear from others about how to handle dysregulation. And that they nor others are out here being perfect. Thank you.

[@sarahdolliver2786]

That's what I'm missing, someone to offer comfort and listening especially during situations like this

[@pinkroses135]

Finding out dysregulation exists is a big part. The thing I hate is when you feel that adrenaline drop, floods your body and you feel off for hours.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yup, not fun. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@pinkroses135]

Those walks or activity and grounding really comes in handy. Never heard of pomodoro but I like it!

[@evanburke5460]

OMG I am so glad I found this tonight. This is my problem. CPTSD!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@aywancfc]

You are so incredibly relatable. Thanks so much for sharing your own struggles (I’m sorry you were treated that way, btw. I’ve been there before too!) and sharing how you were able to pull yourself out of it. I love the sharing kindness idea, I will try that the next time I am in a funk :) thank you ❤️

[@susandelongis885]

Venting is the brain naturally looking for patterns when threatened. Noticing it moves us out of blind reaction toward problem solving and a conscious response. Anything to get us to even one rational thought can move us back to reality. Remembering even one thing that we learned from those past experiences can help us to resolve the present conflict. I hate regressing. But it’s natural. Keeping one learning from it like a mantra to remember quickly gets me out of it faster. Thanks for all the great ideas to help get there so we can move forward with less damage, especially when someone does want to harm us in some way. The present has something unsafe or we wouldn’t get triggered. Instead of unloading, we can use venting to identify it as quickly as possible. For me, the shock of feeling betrayed even a little keeps me stuck and is the type of threat I personally most need to work on. I’ve found the workplace often does have undermining people. Learning to accept and expect this is a real challenge for me, let alone how to cope well with it.

[@cookiesmom584]

Oh Fairy! Thank you for being real w/ us! It helps decrease my shame. I can’t believe the same exact thing happened to me on the same day only with our pool cleaner who had been cheating us all summer…. thus the black fungus. Once I started in I escalated quickly. Grateful for these tools to re-regulate. Shows me to LISTEN to my intuition because I knew something was up. I forgive myself for the (deserved)random annihilation but my cortisol levels are still suffering 1.5 days later.

[@joettadefrancesco709]

Thank you for posting. Things like this help me feel not alone.

[@pennyrobertson6118]

Thank you Anna 🙏 for sharing your truth. The best helpful advice for CPTSD I have found to date. At 60 years old, I still struggle with the embarrassment of deregulation & dissociation. I found your advice here so very beneficial & am so grateful 😊🙏💜

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so welcome

[@maddi3582]

I'm so sorry this happened to you, but thank you for sharing and by doing so, making a negative into a positive, and really it's a positive that sows seeds by offering how we can grow through these challenging, disabling situations! And it really strikes home because I had my own 'situation' a few days ago: I was simply chasing the progress (3rd time of contact) of an incredibly important order and, after being given the run around again, the penny dropped and I realised that my good faith in the progress of the order was just bs. And here I was being chastised by him for following through on the timings he had told me! That powerless feeling of being coerced, blamed and manipulated was so disturbing and took me back to awful past times. But. I managed to write a letter - not to be sent, and have sat with it for a couple of days. Your video has given me support. Thank you! I understand I need to recentre, to disengage from his behaviour, stop 'othering' myself, and because I cannot cancel this order, I need to manage my expectations and keep myself safe. And tea always helps! Thank you Anna 🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing, tea always does help :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@josevillanueva9705]

Dang emotions are powerful

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Very. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@ladybaabaa3294]

It is SO true that talking / venting over and over again to try to get it all out doesn't work! The first "round" maybe, but if you then start all over again, it's just re-living the trauma and you're stuck. Keeping on talking about it isn't going to change it. The story won't change or somehow become ok. I took FOREVER to realise this, and I still am known to over-vent. I'm sorry you had to deal with this traumatic situation. One good thing is that you have learned even more about yourself and how to cope, and you've put into action those steps to re-regulate yourself, and you're also able to share this much needed knowledge and feelings with all of us. I think I've said this before, but you are the most genuine, caring and helpful person I have ever "met" about complex trauma and emotional dysregulation, because you truly understand it. You've lived it. And hey, you don't have to be perfect to help us with these videos! ❤️

[@pureawakening1048]

This woman is PURE GOLD ❤❤❤

[@goldenviolet]

Thank you for this video. Negative feedback is not easy to get. I have been in a bad neighborhood, and l don't do anything back to them. I do say things inside my house, but after ten years of hell from them it's all l do. I don't talk to them anymore because they are so sure they are right. I am tired of living under constant supervision from the this situation. It seems to trigger me, so l don't get stuff done.

[@goldenviolet]

Thank you for highlighting my comment. Whoever decided to do this experiment with me is not a good person or group of people. Because l am disabled and disrespected in my hometown, I feel so bad about my genetic disorder. I see my neighbors laughing at me. My local government officials have been hurrassing me too. Fining me and constantly sending thing to the wrong address. As a matter of fact there are laws that bar defrauding disabled people. When l talk to these people, it is like two different species cross talking. I understand their need for power over me. They let my stalker beat on me everyday for this past 10 to 12 years. Why was this allowed? Why wasn't l protected from him by the police? This has happened at a time when l haven't anyone to talk to or to reach out to. It just seems odd. But this happens everyday to women over a certain age. It shouldn't be allowed.l am doing the best l can when l am the center of a big fraud. Blessings to everyone.

[@Truman77.]

Immensely practical, real and helpful. I avoid conflicts/difficult situations as it takes so long for my physiology to calm down. It takes hours or days and my day is ruined, yet I have my life to get on with. Since the age of five I have been affected and my worst times were conflict in a bad marriage. Done my fair share of ranting and it keeps my physiology hyped up. When I have a bad time, bad things from the past come up making me feel even worse - making work life at times very stressful! Takes so long to calm down. Shameful memories come up too and it is like reliving a past event. Thank you for your timely video and all the work that goes into this.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it was useful to you. If you haven't checked it out yet, the Daily Practice is a free course with a technique to cut down on ruminating and deal with shame bit.ly/38JfzK1 -Cara@TeamFairy

[@eminayiden]

This was so lovely, thank you for sharing ❤️

[@sixthsenseamelia4695]

So laid back, almost fall over backwards. Sometimes, I don't get as angry as I aught to in nessecary situations. Have only lost my sh¡t once. Scared myself. Not doing that again.

[@oozieligus]

Thanks for sharing this experience. I get into apoplectic rage when biz partners try to rewrite history about what was agreed. I never thought about it this way but it is indeed disregulating 🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

that must be hard. Sending you encouragement. Jack@TeamFairy

[@juliemoore6957]

Saving this video to review when I am upset. So good!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@viktoriavichkutkina9147]

How amazing she is! Thank you Anna for amazing topics and the way you begin every video without “hi, welcome back to my channel etc”, just straight to the point. And you are just so healing!!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for the feedback! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@babaganouche9605]

Honestly... I feel a bit relieved that I am not the only one who just "loses" it sometimes. We are trying, but some people really do stretch all the patience we have

[@carmenhernandez-es3hq]

Today is one of those days, I had a ptsd moment last night and once I get home I’ll release and write. Thank you 😊

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's incredible. Beautiful awareness about what's happening, and wonderful that you're taking steps to release it. Sending you encouragement. - Ashley, Team Fairy

[@janinebakker3706]

Serendipity is great thing, thanks for helping me calm down

[@oc2538]

Thanks, I never heard anyone else explain how I experience things and then the need to retell the story. It's so beautiful how you speak about your sons. I dwell esp with the in-laws and blowups. My desire is to go no contact because without them around things are better. But then guilt and shame having to make that call.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Times like these are where Anna's tools make a big difference :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@rturney6376]

This is a video that some people can use every day if needed.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Agreed! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@MyMonkeyMind7]

This video is helpful to me, for many reasons! Thank-you! One is the idea of being an 'agent of good', which gives me a perspective on spiritual health, without referring to a religion.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@FriendofDorothy]

Thanks for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable and honest. Great to know that even a fairy has her crappy days!

[@snicksabea]

Exactly!

[@Cat54867]

Just a few minutes into this….omg I adore your honesty.

[@Cat54867]

Your experience and explanations are valuable in a hundred ways.

[@tahitihawaiiblue]

Anna you can always think about the fact that your children have a wonderful, caring mother and get yourself faster into the groove. 😀

[@trelkel3805]

You have to re-frame it in your head being rational and compassionate and later when you have forgotten that and re-live it do it again, don't let the negative spiral start up again

[@cheryrobertson2735]

I'm like you, sometimes I try yelling etc (door slamming ) I cry when angry also. Yelling makes me feel terrible. I hate myself as I am acting out my anger. The story of bad things happening, feeling fearful & resentful, always brings a spell of being disregulated for too long such a set back for me. Nature time will sooth me and I find myself in the present.

[@susanphend2189]

Thank you so much for your words. I have the issue of rerunning old hurts and dwelling on them. Will be learning about Pomodoros, too. ❤️

[@MinkasTNR]

Thank you, Beautiful Anna. This was so helpful. Thank you for sharing this with us. I didn't realize I gravitate to an old memory. I didn't realize this was part of it.

[@deenadistefano352]

Hands down best video ever. Living successfully with CPTSD is all about coping skills. You laid out a total plan that works.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for the kind words. Grateful for your support, and that the plan is working for you. - Ashley, Team Fairy

[@melissap7790]

This was incredibly helpful. Thank you for being open honest and vulnerable. I have gained so much value and healing from your channel particularly on how to regulate and take better care of my emotions and triggers. Hope things continue resolve peacefully for you. I'll be revisiting this session again. x

[@noprobllama9747]

Thank you for this video. I will use the techniques to try and alter my mood state. I recently stressed over an injustice that a was done to my dance teacher. They were fired with no reasons given. The decision from management had apparently been discussed and voted on months ago. They dismissed the teacher of 18 years under false allegations and without any mediation or recourse. They didn't even tell them face to face. As the teacher was a sole trader and not an employee apparently they could simply be served a months notice and let go. Such disrespect for so many years of service. I couldn't stop the horrible thoughts of injustice from whirling in my mind. It took almost 3 days for this feeling to subside. Even when doing mundane things to vent off the thoughts, discussions and emotions in my head would be so overbearing. I felt so helpless. For me it also brings up past events and negative thoughts which spur my mind into a spiral of depression. I wanted to do something positive and break out of the mood but simply couldn't stop my mind from racing. The helping others therapy seems to stand out the most in your video. I'll try that. Again thank you.

[@debbiegeshem687]

Thank you for this valuable, relevant topic.

[@ahnaahna7278]

Discovering/listening to your channel is giving me hope that I can heal. I have been very sensitive in all environments all of my life(68 years). I have been in therapy in past and it helped some. Did other things too. But some recent experiences have shown me that I can now utilize some new healthy strategies. Thank you. I will re-listen and practice.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you're finding hope again. Sending you encouragement! - Ashley, Team Fairy

[@debbiegeshem687]

What a lovely and genuine personality you have.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

:) Thanks.

[@jejrstans]

I LOVE the idea of remembering happy memories. It's like using a Patronus spell.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Love that! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@gdhhayes2129]

Wow, so crazy, I am just now trying to get regulated over something so very similar, only in my case I was cheated and betrayed by someone I thought was a friend; a person I've known for over 50 years. She's exceedingly wealthy, where I am not at all, and she very literally cheated me out of $20 dollars of products. She attends an annual sale and offered to buy some for me, but then sent only half the amount but charged me the full amount, which I had paid to her before learning she shorted me. (I live in another state now, so sent her payment via mail.) When I questioned her about it the shortage (no accusations, simply stating the facts) she immediately got angry taking on a victim stance and attempted to turn it on me making me in the wrong. She then claimed she tore up my check (lied) as days later it cleared the bank, the check still fully intact. She is now ghosting me, but what she may not realize is I now wish to have nothing to do with her because I fully recognize she has very poor character; so I now choose to not have her in my life. I am upset with myself because I was starting to recognize she treats others badly (via her stories) but foolishly assumed she wouldn't shaft me, since I was her oldest friend. ( for the record she was a bff in early childhood, her family home an oasis away from my abusive childhood home, but, we had minimal contact for many years, so it is only in the past couple years I've gotten reacquainted with her as a mature adult). I think it's the oasis of her childhood family home I hoped to recapture by renewing friendship with her in our later adult years, but clearly I see it is not found in her. So, this is a very timely video for me, as the whole business has really tripped me up.

[@deborahriley1166]

Thank you for sharing your moment!!! It helps me feel like it’s okay to have moments without guilt 💜💜💜

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thats great to hear. you shouldn't have guilt from your trauma. Jack@TeamFairy

[@BryanBloom]

You are saving me one video at a time.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We're rooting for you! - Ashley, Team Fairy

[@SN-sz7kw]

This was so helpful. I had these episodes for much of my later life. Had no idea the role trauma and dysregulation were playing. I just felt rage & shame, & terribly ineffective all around. Thank you for your transparency. 💗💗💗

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad the video was helpful! Thanks for listening :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@rturney6376]

Creating a KZbin video must be cartharic. I went to COSTCO with my 92 years old mom yesterday. Everything needs be her way. Normally, I just go with flow. We were at the checkout line and I said to the clerk to combine the orders so that we could move through the line quicker. She said no and starts telling the clerk that she only owed me $38. I had two items for $24. She is so effing cheap and controlling - we could of worked through this outside of the COSTCO checkout line. She just adds chaos and craziness to a simple task of checking out. The checkout lady already moved on to the next customer and she creating this big issue at the checkout line. I just want to get out of there. I drive her all over and her nickels and dimes me. Offering to Pay $20 for driving her - would have been a nice gesture. We have a history of her being incredibly cheap with me.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You had me at "I went to COSTCO with my 92 years old mom..." laughing and sympathizing!

[@rturney6376]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy 😂😂😂😂😂. I am sadly a saint.

[@renatisouza9889]

You are a blessing my dear 💕💋I really appreciated you. Thanks for your free videos .👄

[@catgrl76]

Thanks for sharing your story. I too can go to a dark place when things blow up and it's so hard to see the way out. The playback loop from Hell goes around and around in the brain and nothing good comes of it. I like the idea of paying it forward to transmute the negative juju. Certainly will put that into practice 🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@MsScottynz]

Thank you so much for sharing this Anna. Your story is very relatable, about losing your temper due to a feeling of injustice, all the old inner voices pop up again.

[@insightandintuition276]

Love that you share your challenges open and honestly. My understanding of emotional dysregulation is an inability to accept our emotional response. Denial can lead to Compulsive behaviors first thing I ask myself is what I have been eating in the past 72 hours I find I cannot tolerate even the smallest deviation from a whole food plant-based diet. If I mess with refined sugars flours artificial sweeteners Etc and definitely affects my emotions Thanks for sharing your experience strength and Hope🤗

[@akankshasingh6471]

Thank you so much for sharing this! It helps me see and connect how I feel when I am dysregulated and how I react and then finding the steps to reregulate again. This really helps!!

[@keithpurtell1213]

That thing with the anger-driven Story being hypnotic is true. As a male, I grew up with societal cues telling me I should solve problems with anger. Think about all those movies where guys go in with guns blazing; a symbolic message. In the thick of an angry moment, my brain will prod me to keep going, saying this is about overcoming injustice. It doesn't matter if the person I'm angry with is 100 miles away, I just keep raising my blood pressure and damaging my health. Thank you for exploring this.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for your perspective! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@rebeccajones9757]

I definitely spent a couple hours today feeling awful.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@sonorasenora5911]

I DON'T CRY...I CAN'T CRY...I WANT TO CRY...I NEED TO CRY...I FEEL MY HEART CRYING BUT CPTSD LOCKED THE DOOR TO THAT NATURAL WELL DECADES AGO...so unnatural...intangible ...very therapeutic...eludes 😞me

[@rebeccastatz9226]

Me tooo 😢

[@vickisorenson7795]

Thank you, Thank you for being willing to share your experience. I got dysregulated this week and wanted to die. There was a terrible thought going through my mind that I am so horrible that I shouldn't live anymore. To be clear, I would never take my own life and cause pain to those I love, but I was in such pain. Anyway, I realized I was dysregulated and so have done what I know to do including getting another perspective by watching mental health and CTSD videos. It helps to know I'm not alone and to get confirmation and new techniques. Thank you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad this video helped, we all need a bit of a reality check sometimes :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@monislifemine]

Wow thank you so much for this video. I had to fill out some in depth paperwork for my Doctor and it involved a bit of sharing dates and just naming certain events that had to do with my trauma. As I was filling it out I became more and more overwhelmed and freaked out on my husband over nothing. I felt I had to run away (I was safe at home) I told my husband I'm leaving, I grabbed my purse, phone and got into the car, I backed out and realized there was nowhere to go to escape my feelings. My husbandand came out and wanted to know what was wrong. I had no idea how to put into words what I was feeling I simply couldn't talk. I wanted to cry but I am unable to. Not sure how to cry. Anyway your video helped me see I was disregulated. I eventually came in the house and told my husband I had been triggered. I am doing better in times past I would have left for a while wandering aimlessly. Thanks for what you do.

[@quietreflections18]

Thank you, Crappy Childhood Fairy! I really appreciate you making this video and sharing your personal experience! and advice in this regard I'm not sure how I missed this video when it was published, but I found it at the perfect time! Fortunately, I normally stay pretty well regulated these days and I was so surprised when I found myself completely dysregulated due to a confrontation with a stranger in the laundry room of the building where I currently live, this past weekend. I was so surprised to find myself 'yelling' and engaging with this individual, and then having to deal with the fallout. It was just so 'unlike' me. lol This video really helps. Thanks so much! Lots of Love, Jaden XXXOOOO

[@jimwilkey7294]

You are an absolute Doll always being vulnerable and open with your struggles that help us ALL! Big Love 🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much for the kind words. Jack@TeamFairy

[@Erin-uz2gf]

Thank you Anna, for another helpful & insightful video! I wanted to comment about two things you talked about: • Yes, it's definitely okay to stop yourself from dwelling on a thought or memory! It's not like doing so will erase it from your mind. And it's funny how a new perspective can sort of form itself in time, and you can see it more clearly then, or understand it in a new way. I see it as progress to even be able to stop myself now, when I used to become absorbed by the thoughts. • Writing is extremely helpful, especially when it's angry thoughts about someone! You can write down the absolute worst things you're feeling about someone in that moment, without the consequences of actually saying them to that person in the heat of the moment. And often, those angry thoughts are blown way out of proportion and your true feelings aren't nearly as terrible.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing this :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@karenKristal]

Ive had a crap day. Thanks for this!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Happy to help! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@Am-graphix]

I found this last night (this morning really) about 4:30 am after a night of all of this. I felt like yelling BINGO into the void. Thank you and tucking into your tools.

[@fitnessdestiny]

I like to check in with myself when I can to recognize whether or not I am communicating from a place of “pressured speech “... it feels like it’s getting forced out of my diaphragm (louder and faster) and straining the fascia surrounding my vocal cords in a way that physically aches… This is one of the symptoms of being dysregulated that have learned to be mindful of. I have realized in those moments that anything I try to say out loud are only going to strangle my voice with trauma . It took a lot of years for me to burn myself out with pressured speech.. I would get angry that I was angry, or I would escalate because somebody would point out that I was escalating… But it was all to my leading to the detriment of my peace... now when I recognize it -I realize I just need to go to my breath, or take a pillow and scream into it, or find a safe place to cry. Most of the pressured speech comes from the choked up tears of the trauma I had to fight through and never fully feel through. Regardless of what the situation is that triggered me and where it correlates to my past I doesn’t matter. I just let myself cry because I know something is being healed from a place in the trauma that has gained the wisdom in the wounds enough to release them through tears ✨

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

What progress to recognize what is happening! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@fitnessdestiny]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I’ve been a child mentor for the last 12 years. The work I am called to do for others is not from a place of saving them from themselves… I can’t do that. We are all walking each other home. The space you have created for people to continue to understand that process in their path is absolutely beyond words sacred...

[@tamarakonczal6350]

This is one of the best videos I have seen by you. Thank you.

[@deemelnyk5091]

I’ve been diagnosed Stage 4a ovarian cancer. Emotionally abused for 60 yrs. Trying to calm the CPTSD to help me heal. Just want at least 1 yr of happiness before I die

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I replied to some of your comments on other videos. But come to my Daily Practice course! Please join the calls! Great relief and comfort is available.

[@deemelnyk5091]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank You, & I will. So glad I found your videos. 🙏🏻

[@annettecalandriello1123]

This was a wonderful video.Thank you for all the good that you do.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching. -Calista@TeamFairy

[@aimeeamigone2717]

This was so helpful. I am kinda learning to do a few of those naturally. Thanks to u dear lady❤

[@TequilaTurner]

OOOH I SO NEEDED THIS! I'VE BEEN battling this since 8/24 and knew things were escalating. I needed this! I'm glad I was able to diffuse this situation with another POC with this vendor. They tried to out me down as well I snapped professionally but It set me low low. I'm a business owner and I never want to feel extorted, threat a escalated response nor speak down to anyone. I had to take myself away from the issue and focus on what I could with who I could( Myself and a good friend). This is rich I really appreciate you. In fact this started with my boss 2 months ago lol. wow. good stuff ty!

[@rleeann5798]

Thank you for this video. As a result of an abusive childhood I have terrible body dysmorphia and have terrible days, I call them "fat and ugly attacks" when the mirror or my clothes fitting are not kind. For me this means = Unlovable = alone = death. This also goes for being ignored by customer service people, or people in my life. Spiraling isnt helpful. I dont want to allow these triggers to ruin my life and relationships. I'm going to heal and overcome this.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, you are! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@staleyexplores]

a not so good psychiatrist appt triggered me and it took me two weeks to come back from that event. sucks but at least I can see it now.

[@perplexiglas1]

I don't know why, but I feel like you and Dr. Ramani would do a good collab video on narc abuse and cptsd and the correlative effects.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'd love to do that sometime!

[@rhondacosta160]

YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW MUCH I NEEDED ...THIS. Thank you Ana. It's also a big month astrologically and there's sooo much heaviness going on and it's all kicking my butt. Yesterday was a total shut down day. And you're right I'm not proud of the behavior that others insight and you go there. It happens. 👹🙈🙉🙊

[@kathymiller2551]

Writing-Step 4 in my AA program. I heard someone say the process is kinda like “draining the swamp.” It works. I am writing my entire life. As far back as I can remember. All the bad and good. To get it out of my head and see the patterns. It’s given me lots of peace about the past.