What people really want in a partner, according to research

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[@Jianju69]

One very expensive government-funded study was aimed at finding out what scares babies. A small fortune later, they announced "Strange people and loud noises scare babies."

[@Rikku147]

glad we cleared up that mystery

[@justasmalltimebean]

Wasn't that the one where they tried to prove babies were racist 😂

[@AimeeKateKelly]

⁠@@justasmalltimebeanwhat the hell 😂😂😂

[@greensteve9307]

One study in Australia found that the main problem with 13-year-olds is that they are immature.

[@j.s.2750]

We need a meme for things like that. For example Miranda Priestly when she said „Groundbreaking..“ 😅

[@MomoMensch]

It would be interesting to see if attractiveness stays that important after getting to know the people. Because sure, it is a big part of first impression, but you do not pick your partner for life after one date...

[@summer-xt1gg]

Theres a study that proved men like bpd traits in attractive women, so yes.

[@badwolf3618]

​@@summer-xt1ggand studies have also shown that women like Dark Triad traits in men regardless of attractiveness.

[@summer-xt1gg]

@@badwolf3618you need to look up recent literature- a preference for them in short term relationships only.

[@summer-xt1gg]

@@badwolf3618 *in short term relationships only, indicating that women are actually put off by the negative personality traits.

[@kris3451]

IIRC there are studies showing people are more similar in physical attractiveness when they start dating soon after meeting. However, this effect gets weaker the longer they've known each other before dating. So in other words: relationships seem less dependent on looks after knowing each other for 9-12mths first.

[@whoshotashleybabbitt4924]

“What up big dude” 😂😂😂

[@silverhetch3383]

that must have been unscripted XD

[@jule4772]

that made me so happy too :-D

[@patrickofearth]

I came here for this comment

[@leafyveins4985]

That was so organic lol

[@jamiebond6349]

this is what people want in a POTENTIAL partner based on FIRST IMPRESSIONS. Passing the appearance test just means you are in the running, you have been invited for an interview... Other factors such as communication, values, and you know, personality then come into play.

[@hazelhazelton1346]

Yeah, but if you're not in the running, none of them come into play. ;)

[@LaciRae]

@@deltapi8859there are other ways to get your foot in the door. but it is a little trickier.

[@jamiebond6349]

​@@hazelhazelton1346 that's correct, physical attraction is highly important. No physical attraction = no desire to have sex= = no children.

[@jamiebond6349]

@@deltapi8859 That's exactly right. There are millions of people to choose from and to want good character and good looks from one person should not be too much to ask for in a partner.

[@085665372]

@@deltapi8859 also means that good looking people can be dropped fast too

[@sinaelb2596]

Sometimes science isn't about finding new surprising results but rather confirming theories. For example showing that the correlation between men finding inteligent, high-earning woman off-putting as a partner is very much real. Because once you've proven that those things aren't just anecdotal you can do something about it. Not neccearly sure how we can fix the above issue, (maybe by reinforcing for girls that it is unproblematic for them to have the same high archiving goals as men; and reinforcing for boys that they shouldn't force themselves into the roll of "provider"). But the important part is, once science has proven, that an issue is real, then poletics/schools/companies can ask for the funding to fix an issue.

[@Anotherguy1st]

If men aren't expected to play the role of provider then why do high earning women seem to favor men who earn as much or more? Realistically women that are high earners should probably not care what the man earns because they already have enough financial power that it shouldn't matter. Yet I do see a lot of articles about how successful women can't find enough economically attractive men. If women have changed and now want to play the role of breadwinners why do they not seem to be looking for a man to play the role of house husband? Just curious is all.

[@badwolf3618]

​@@Anotherguy1styour suspicions are backed up by data by the way! I read one study that looked into how much a woman's income affected the likelihood that she would want her man to make more. What they found is that a woman having a higher income didn't make her less likely to prefer that her man make more than her. Which I think disproves the claim woman make that the only reason that women ever cared about a man's money is because they historically had to often financially rely on men to survive. If that truly was the only reason, then that study would have found that as women's incomes increased, the likelihood of them preferring their man make more than them would decrease. But they didn't find that.....

[@ghoot]

@@Anotherguy1stthey actually do. there's research that shows that women are gradually considering men who show kindness, generosity, altruism and other care-taking traits more favorable to long term relationships, instead of tradionally masculine traits. this is because masculinity is becoming (fairly) correlated to less capability of raising children. also, other research shows that women in countries that have more equal salaries prioritize income way less in dating. you are proving why we need to research the apparently obvious.

[@ghoot]

@@badwolf3618​​⁠"woman having higher income didn't make her less likely to prefer a man who earns more" again, where is this study from? cause it contradicts the data that in countries where salaries are more equal, women actually do care less about their partner's income. so it actually does kinda proves the claim on cultural factors where women had to depend financially, because it changes based on your country. I recommend you read Silvia Federici's "Caliban and the Witch" where she spent 7 years studing history to trace exactly when and why women started to depend financially on men, tho long story short it all comes down to primitive accumulation (the genesis of capitalism) and it wasn't natural at all, it was through the witch hunting.

[@ghoot]

@@RicochetForceif it is a problem or not is very arguable. women's interest in wealthy men was a consequence of witch hunting and religious persecution of women during the transition from feudalism to capitalism (my source is Silvia Federici's extensive study on Caliban and the Witch, you can search for it and it is a very insightful and factual history, philosophy and social sciences book) and put a lot of women in harming relationships, which is shown by extensive research on multiple countries and cultures that shows how marriage benefits men significantly more in mental and physical health and life expectancy even (single males tend to live ~15-20 years less) whereas women in bad marriages are actually less healthy than any other group, including single women and men. single women and well married women have shown no significant difference in life expectancy either. so yes, you can say it is a problem to be solved, at least if you care for women's health.

[@brianmclain1955]

Square space did such a great job raising you.

[@clairekorte6048]

Lol what a daddy indeed haha

[@nadeengebara1692]

Agreed 💀

[@AndyAlegria]

To be fair, things change over time. It doesn't hurt to "take the pulse of society" occasionally to see if there is change. "Common knowledge" is sometimes "common misinformation".

[@TheNL]

And in other news, scientist have spent billions of dollars on decades of research to conclusively prove that water is indeed wet.

[@gabsradience1]

🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭

[@TahuHyuuga]

water is not wet, it makes things wet

[@djules01]

I dont think billions but sentiment remain the same.

[@R3X554]

Water is not wet itself but it can make everything else wet😅now you know

[@spiraldude]

water is not wet, it makes other things wet kzbin.info/www/bejne/rGPMqH6vap5pl8k

[@MrQuantumInc]

Something I have noticed in these studies is that if they ask, "Who gets a first date after speed dating?" is similar to "Who gets a second date?" is similar to "Who looks good in a picture?" but is very DIFFERENT from "Who is still happy after 10 years of marriage?" It is encouraging to think that a good marriage still requires something less shallow (though exactly what makes a good marriage eludes science) though perhaps still discouraging to think people are chasing the wrong thing.

[@johnrivers3813]

Scientists try their best to avoid multiple variables in their research because it's really hard to determine if one thing if effecting the outcome over another so yes they tend to focus on the "shallow" nature of things because it's easier to come up with an accurate result. But I also agree that we should learn what makes a marriage last and I think those sorta things are best found from professionals who work with married couples, couple therapists, divorce lawyers, wedding planners even baby sitters and house cleaners because even though you can argue their findings are not scientifically accurate, it can at least show a trend.

[@alicehawthorne5720]

Dr. John Gottman and his institute has actually studied what factors make marriages last. Granted, he does financially benefit from his research because he wrote a book on it and has marriage counseling services. However, his results showed that friendship is the foundation for a strong relationship/lasting marriage as well as continuing to “date” your partner and being open to their communication and influence. Which… aligns with what a lot of people think so I’m rather inclined to believe his research.

[@koshersalaami]

Be very careful about assuming what’s obvious, because sometimes different findings using the same variables can also be viewed as obvious. One of these findings was not obvious: that women have a much stronger preference for mates of their race than men do. Actually, the finding about women making more than men leading to less stable marriages isn’t necessarily obvious either, particularly to younger people who I would think would be more likely to deny such sexism.

[@ericsohn5084]

Except for Asian girls 😅

[@funnyfuckerfranco]

it's less stable because it leads to divorce. women overwhelmingly initiate that divorce

[@ex0stasis72]

Eh, maybe. It's certainly the least obvious finding. It was ready obvious to me that women would be more likely to date men of the same race relative to men's preferences because if men care more about appearance and financial security is not something they look for in a mate, then that really casts a wide net. And if women care about financial security in a mate, then they probably also also care about safety in general, and a man of her own race feels safer than a man of a different race.

[@ghoot]

this!

[@koshersalaami]

@@ex0stasis72 Would you have been surprised if women were not racially pickier than men?

[@FireOccator]

If my mind remembers correctly, there was a study that showed that women are more likely than not to initiate divorce if their income goes above 70% of husband's income. So, we actually are getting useful numbers from these studies.

[@Anotherguy1st]

​​@@RicochetForce Indeed, basically the man is less useful so now so he's not as attractive to you. Not saying you specifically, just in general for these situations.

[@badwolf3618]

​@@Anotherguy1stwell there are two ways, as far as I can tell, why this is the case: 1. Women objectify men for money, and thus they divorce lower-earning male partners because they want a man who makes more money. 2. Women who make more money have less financial need to put up with a shitty male partner because he can't leverage financial dependence on her as a way to control her and make her put up with him being a shitty partner. If I had to take a guess, I would guess that it is a combo of these two possible reasons that causes this phenomenon to happen, with some cases the women divorced her husband because she objectified him for money, and some cases he was a shitty husband and she divorced him because she could afford to. I am not gonna pretend to know what the ratio is of which scenario happens more often, but I am fairly certain it is not as simple as both men and women want it to be. Men want to believe that women objectify men for money, and women want to believe that men are mostly shitty husbands and higher-earning women have an easier time escaping a bad marriage.

[@victoriajenkins1424]

My hypothesis is that these high-earning women are the primary breadwinners, yet still expected to take primary care of the house and kids. And insecure men treat women worse when they make them feel inferior in a way like income.

[@badwolf3618]

@@victoriajenkins1424 given all the research that shows how much women value men's money, you need to stop making excuses for women. Your theory might be true in some cases, but all the data suggests that women are divorcing because they resent him for making less due to sexist objectification of men for their money. You're a misandrist if you think otherwise.

[@FireOccator]

@@victoriajenkins1424 My hypothesis is that some people will invent every convoluted excuse possible to deny something that human civilization has known since its beginning.

[@MsZephyra]

Remember - this only applies to dating in the US! Also, the results might be more interesting when looking into subcategories and not generalizing and averaging every category.

[@gwynethpearson8870]

Yes! I’m much more interested to see how average dating preferences change according to an individual’s idea of gender roles. I read a part of this study one time (so take me with an grain of salt) and it said that women in countries with more gender equality don’t care as much about a man’s income.

[@arianrahman4840]

i am a data scientist and i was just having an itch to scream at the researcher's face. The title is misleading or the researcher forgot how sampling works

[@t-shades7148]

Science is still science even if the results aren't "interesting". Common knowledge still needs to be challenged. The researchers don't know what the results are going to be before they've done the study and analyzed the data.

[@alanhilder1883]

If they think they know what the results will be, they introduce bias and false results.

[@geekjokes8458]

SCIENCE IS ABOUT REPEATABILITY! it's not necessarily groundbreaking! sometimes the expected result, specially in subjects that change with time, *such as social expectations and generations,* means that we're correct in our predictions

[@wombat4583]

Science can also be scrutinized especially when influenced by external bodies and those funding projects. Not all 'scientific' studies are equal.

[@arc.insight]

has it occurred to anybody that people who are interested in generic "dating" would most likely have stereotypical standards?

[@dougmartin2007]

This reminds me of when scientists announced that dogs and cats can feel complex emotions like embarrassment and jealously.

[@alanhilder1883]

There are many, mostly religious fundamentalists, who don't believe this.

[@lennydagostini5845]

@@alanhilder1883 I had a professor tell me 'animals don't feel emotions'

[@AdaptWithElina]

There was a groundbreaking reseach that I read about a couple of years ago. After a few decades of work, and thousands of people involved, it was finally concluded that walking in nature... improves mood. Amazing. Now we know.

[@samuel.thornton]

Like... I know how academia works as like half my family are research professors in marketing. But it's always so funny the amount of effort put into place to prove that "behaviors and expectations within a socialized context are consistent with the socialized behaviors and expectations put on socialized groups." pEoPlE dAtInG iN a WaY sOcIeTy TeAcHeS tHeM tO tEnD tO wAnT a MaTe SoCiEtY tElLs ThEm To

[@danitiwa]

@@RicochetForcei heard the opposite about birth rates… I have literally heard at university that birth rates go up in nations which have more feminist politics. Although it is true that career path choices and expertise in academia and professions tend to be more dimorphic the more egalitarian a nation is. It’s a bit ironic.

[@anonygent]

You're assuming these findings don't hold true across cultures and times, but they do. Generally speaking, men want young, fertile, attractive women. Women want good providers. This has held true for thousands of years. Only in rare instances do you find anything different (Samoa, the Yanomami people, etc.)

[@anonygent]

​@@danitiwaSomeone was lying to you. Birth rates are lowest in countries where women are "empowered", highest in countries and cultures where women are "oppressed". India is an interesting example. Women don't have many rights under Hinduism, and those women average six kids per woman, but they have even fewer rights under Islam, and those women average eight kids per woman, in the same country. There's a real threat of Islamic numbers exceeding Hindu numbers in India as a result.

[@solar0wind]

​@@anonygent Different cultures can have similar values and expectations in certain areas of life.

[@lemontree1235]

My gray scale's already on but I don't care

[@joepiekl]

Publish or perish has a lot to answer for.

[@ziggyvoss]

As an overweight, successful and financially independent single woman, this hurts my soul. At least the health thing is getting under control and I've been losing weight, but I've got a stacked deck against me ): It's one thing to feel like it's that way, it's another for science to be like "Yep, your suspicions are correct!"

[@alissa6380]

We gotta keep in mind that these are only the averages though. There are lots of individuals in the world with a wide gamut of experiences and preferences! If we're looking for love, we don't need the whole dating pool to be exactly right for us -- we just need to find the one person who's already looking for someone like us. That's totally doable! (Eventually.)

[@RicardoMoralesMassin]

I feel you, Britt...

[@TahuHyuuga]

Being financially independent doesn't have to be a big deal if you don't believe that having a partner who earns a lot of money is super important and that you deserve better if your partner earns less than you

[@SheezyBites]

On the one hand, yes, more heterosexual men will be less likely to be attracted to you. On the other hand you have an automatic filter on most heterosexual men, which sounds like a blessing honestly.

[@hazelhazelton1346]

It could be worse. You could be an overweight, underachieving man. :,)

[@JamesDittoOG]

So all those things that I've been told "don't really matter, it's what's on the inside" are in fact all that matters... I'll just walk off a cliff now, thanks...

[@mariogirod6195]

But only for a first date with a stranger. There are other ways to get to know people.

[@nina-w]

attractiveness can draw someone in but it can't make up for being a bad partner. speaking from experience here

[@JamesDittoOG]

@@nina-w That can't be answered if you are never drawn in though. Catch 22... Such is life...

[@brubs2556]

Do looks matter to you when looking for a partner? Because I think in general people are similar in that usually everyone cares at least a little bit about appearence (even if it's not the only factor to take into account). Like, for example, if two girls/guys (idk) were simultaneously into you and one was significantly more conventionally atractive than the other. Would you not let the attractiveness factor weigh at least a little bit in your choice of partner?

[@hungrymusicwolf]

@@nina-wExperience of being the bad partner... or being with the bad partner?

[@AnotherAnonymousMan]

Man here. This is disconcerting for us too. 🙃

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Came for trademark Anna wisdom, stayed for the academia roast 🔥

[@JustaNobody-j8x]

If attractiveness is what people want in a partner, then it looks like I’m batting a solid zero in that department, but I may have some points in personality… I guess 🤷‍♂️

[@erikas.6790]

Same here, I'll die alone according to science 😅

[@ornerydyke]

In the long run personality is what matters

[@vioveo7440]

The thing is, there are a few things a conventionally unattractive person can do to make themselves appear more attractive. Posture, body language, good skin care, and good fashion sense all help. Having a good personality and a good sense of humor can also contribute to how attractive you are during a first impression.

[@R3X554]

Just need a solid relationship with milk and cookies. maybe you will find your love in the cookie isle😜like santa found mrs claus😅

[@rapture8233]

Still attractiveness is very subjective. Maybe you are not attractive at the first glance but you could be highly attractive once people get to know you ❤.

[@obviousalias9506]

Wasn't this the same article which also concluded that people are actually *really* bad at determining what truly matters to them in a partner?

[@anonygent]

I think you're generalizing from "women" to people in general. Men are pretty good at knowing what they want and what is going to make them happy.

[@alanhilder1883]

One thing not mentioned. When the woman is making more than the man, divorce is more likely, the not mentioned part is that it is the woman that starts the divorce, it is not the man being upset that she is doing better than him, it is she is wanting to upgrade.

[@TheImapotato]

She wants to rob one man of resources and assets while using the next one for more. This is what modern Western Women deem as 'Strong & Independent' It's Clown World

[@vickyw9898]

A recent study discovered that dogs understand some words…like couldn’t they have just owned a dog? We’ve all been spelling out WALK to avoid exciting the dog for eons over here, and eventually the dog learns what W-A-L-K means too

[@RicardoMoralesMassin]

That Owen Wilson wOw was magical

[@CammieVee08]

Honestly, I wasn't shocked at all. Plus, I'm no longer interested in dating anymore.

[@cramz101]

Consider: our eyes directly interface with our brains to process information about the world around us. Of course being pleasing to look at would be important.

[@TorQueMoD]

I feel that way about 90% of scientific studies. The scientists are just happy they were able to "prove" their findings while the rest of us were happy being pretty certain.

[@peka2478]

We dont do science to show something interesting. We do science to disprove our false beliefs and prove our correct ones.

[@davidcrowther9504]

Is that true? Are women really more likely to prefer partners of the same ethnicity? I did not know that. Fascinating.

[@badwolf3618]

As it turns out, women aren't as noble and virtuous as they make themselves out to be. Now, I am a man and I am fully aware of the shitty things some men do as well as problematic trends amongst men. But too often people give women the benefit of the doubt when they absolutely do not deserve it.

[@anonygent]

Debatable. Women are far more likely to have been with a man of another race than men are to have been with a woman of another race. There are also racial differences, black women are highly race selective, white women much less so, and some 40% of Asian women prefer white men.

[@funopticongaming]

Hi Anna. I enjoy the entertainment provided by your videos. I generally also am interested in reading more about the studies cited and having them in the description would be super helpful. Thank you for the entertainment!

[@g.l.8329]

So basically all these stereotypes / cliches are not stereotypes or cliches, but are facts. Humans are pretty basic it turns out

[@LostRussianLove]

Yeah, narcissistic and shallow.

[@hefeibao]

The cat entering the scene was a bonus we didn't expect.

[@micaso1]

When women earn more, the WOMAN is twice as likely to initiate the divorce, not the man. I don't know any man that would be threatened by their partner earning more, on the contrary. And this is proved by research too. Maybe some very traditional guys will think this way, but it's the minority. When it happened to me I was exhilarated she could finally start putting more into the relationship, but of course, she didn't like it when she finally had to pay rent.

[@TahuHyuuga]

I don't think that "marital satisfaction is lower when the woman earns more than her husband" should be simply transfered to "men insecure". It's not just men who are taught that they serve as the provider in a relationship. That's been the standard for so long and still is for a lot of people, so there are a lot of people who think that it should be this way and if it's not like this, them something is wrong. So yes, relationships can suffer from men being insecure in such a situation, but also from women thinking they fell short with their husbands and that they'd deserve someone "better". As a man I wouldn't mind having a partner who is more succesfull, but if that partner tends to communicate to me that she would love to have a partner who could buy her a house and other expensive stuff, then of course that damages the relationship

[@badwolf3618]

You're absolutely right. When women value a man growing up in a more affluent zip code, and with research showing that women didn't become less likely to value their partner's income or earning potential as a woman's income increases (thus suggesting that women continue to value a man's money even when she doesn't necessarily *need* it to survive. So men know that sexist women are more likely to love them less and be more likely to leave them just because he makes less than her.

[@akbardushembiev8163]

Yeah my thoughts exactly. This statistic has 2 possible interpretations.

[@fobusas]

@@akbardushembiev8163 It's not 2, but a gradient between the two. Still, it's a bad study not trying to determine between these 2 interpretations.

[@heavymetaldungeonmistress666]

sometimes wives can't leave because their husband makes more money and supports them so after divorce they would be struggling financially. especially housewives and stay-at-home mums would have a lot less if they ended their marriage

[@badwolf3618]

@@heavymetaldungeonmistress666 well yeah they would have a lot less because now they have only half of the man's money to use instead of ALL of it.

[@juliaalvessoares]

staying in character while petting Congress >>>>>>>>>

[@wintergreen1784]

this was SUCH AN INCREDIBLE VID so funny so uhhhhhh SHOOK IT WAS BASED ON A REAL ARTICLE….. TYSM FOR PUTTING THIS VID OUT

[@ianshuman]

Both: - appearance - height, weight, age etc (men slightly more) - intelligence (women care twice) - women earning more causes lower marital satisfaction & greater likelihood of divorce. Men: - value intelligence & ambition upto their own & beyond is off-putting Women: - prefer men raised in affluent zipcodes (not at all for men) - prefer men of same race - get pickier with meeting more partners (not so for men)

[@Dethikah]

I love all the different characters you play 😆

[@safichii]

This made my day better, had some good laughs. Love you Anna ❤

[@arifodeman5010]

Thanks for this! ^_^ Hopefully, we can get science journalists to reference more meta-analyses and integrated data analyses that can shed a more robust perspective on results across multiple studies, as well as those using more innovative approaches (e.g., multigroup SEM between men and women to test for differences in the structure of and relationship between factors of attractor, or Mixture Modeling to parse out potential subgroups of preferences within men and women rather than treating those groups as monolithic).

[@briargray2355]

Hwell that last bit was pretty savage goddamn

[@Henry258654]

The reactions of the journalist were really funny 😆 I need to watch a show of yours someday

[@Henry258654]

@@ToonEditor2001 I don't live in the US, though. Maybe during vacations.

[@niccolom]

So they proved statistically what people "believe" as true. Why so negative? Why keep asking for "interesting" results? What qualifies as "interesting" to you anyways? I, as a heterosexual Asian man, find that the fact that the results actually cement popular beliefs is highly interesting.

[@TheClonetruper]

I think the best thing is that the internet is not wrong and people can no longer say that the stereotype is wrong. We have the data.

[@chunbelievableSRK]

I'm the anomaly! I do well for myself salary wise and my wife of 33+ years makes double, AND I AM TOTALLY GOOD WITH IT! Zero desire to move om because she makes more than me.

[@fobusas]

Because it's the opposite. When a women earns more, it's not the man complaining. It's the woman believing she settled, and thus unhappy in the marriage. I'm sure you there are plenty of men who feel threatened (even if justifiably), reality is young women have infinitely more options.

[@chunbelievableSRK]

@@fobusas I took the skit as the research showed men didn't accept their roles in the relationship when they were not the bigger earners. So having feelings of financial inadequacy leads to more divorces. Which is also what I took from the line "men are put off when women have a greater ambition than theirs."

[@fobusas]

@@chunbelievableSRK It's contradicted by the fact that 80% divorces are initiated by women, and that most men are blindsided by it. If men really were put off by wealthier women, you'd think it would not be such a shocker.

[@chunbelievableSRK]

@@fobusas Fiar, I didn't realize divorces are mostly initiated by women.

[@RealTeamHavingFun-hm6uk]

Your wife is the anomaly. Many women would have difficulty respecting a man that made so much less than her.

[@philn6052]

This explains so much, now time to put on that baseball cap backwards.

[@aapjew18]

Just because a conclusion seems obvious, it's still important that the actual research is done. What might seem obvious and logical to one person isn't always the same as what's seen as obvious and logical to someone else, especially on something like social behaviour. This way, when professionals might disagree on stuff, you have actual data to refer back to, rather than just arguments of logic.

[@inthedetails5467]

I mean this shouldn’t be surprising regardless of the details. Humans are still animals, which animals heavily rely on physical attractiveness (which subconsciously points to health, survival, ability to have offspring, and overall presumed kindness) to mate.

[@TheImapotato]

Yes, we are and if we understand our basic instincts and do our best to control them, we can be better. Big way that has happened was all religions espousing monogamous marriage with 'penalties' under a god if we failed. But women especially have been lied to for so long, they let their instincts of hypergamy, briffault's law and self preservation take center stage.

[@jimbeam7160]

Hilarious. Anna is my dream girl: smart, creative, nerdy, hip, and likes older men and goes to sleep at nine o'clock while avoiding the club scene. Finding Anna, (a real unicorn) made me realize...there is always a perfect unicorn match if you look and scour the internet. Cheers, to Anna for being perfect in every way.

[@H36662]

Checking our assumptions is a big part of science. You can’t look at anything else until you've done that.

[@345melo]

I lived that little Owen Wilson “wOw”

[@themultiverse5447]

My body count rose significantly whilst ignoring said data

[@SharkAcademy]

It’s kind of a bad study too because those things outside of attractiveness Columbia studied (intelligence and ambition) are near the bottom of what personality traits men find attractive in women. If instead they added things like kindness and empathy, sense of humor, adventurer, open minded, etc. it would be much better to see the difference traits each find attractive

[@sleepingkirby]

Someone with a degree in these fields and/or are researchers in these fields please correct me if I'm wrong. But I was under the impression that research like these often are done to test/prove/confirm a theory. Another way to not just assume but to actually test your assumptions.

[@TheImapotato]

Used to be, but now they are to skew statistics to fit the narrative bias of the grantee

[@kennywilson2129]

Thank you squarespace! :)

[@tenou213]

I mean - it's always nice to substantiate beliefs with actual numbers.

[@alexanderringler5747]

What I dislike is that people conclude, that men are intimidated by competent women. No we are not. If you do not date a man or break up with another, this is also not automatically because of you being intimidated. And whilst being competitative and intelligent is required in the work space, this is not what we want in a relationship. The reason, why men do not date "intelligent" women is because, they are not "intelligent" enough to realize, that a relationship is the space, where you don't need to have your wall up and be competitative. You can relax, be vulnerable and intimate... and recover from the stress of the work space. Unless your partner is less of a supporter and more of a competitor. It's not rocket-science, we crave intimacy, that's all.

[@badwolf3618]

Bingo! Men have every reason to worry about these things.

[@johnrivers3813]

"iNtelLiGeNt"

[@TryingtoTellYou]

Anna: Men are the worst! Also Anna: Try Squarespace today, a business owned by a man, Anthony

[@TheImapotato]

A man a value is not intimidated by Boss Babes, we are repulsed at their masculine traits because they try to act like men and come off as the predatory males we want culled from the gene pool. Also, women over evaluate their intelligence because they have a degree. Like you said, they use it to try and get a 'one up' on an argument but using emotion and feelings rather than logic. Smartest women I ever knew had no degree, some were stay at home moms, but they had the wisdom of knowing how to make people feel appreciated, how to help others in need and what personality traits were red flags while also using the woman's power of manipulation (not always a bad trait) to sway their husbands and kids to forgo time wasting activities to more personal growth ones

[@kiekiek]

I dislike it as well. In my view the reason is that intelligent, high earning women reject lesser succesfull (less intelligent men)much more often. So it is actually fear of rejection that causes men to stay away from well educated, intelligent women, it is just not worth the effort as it is very likely she will not even notice you.

[@ann18o96]

I'm silently waiting for them to analyse nb's to see that it's probably complete chaos because we don't fit in their "afraid of overpowering" and "becoming picky" boxes.

[@manzell]

The UPenn researcher cute bring her on more often

[@Eclectic8]

So if I heard correct, they said men are wary of a partner with more education/career ambition and when women do earn more the likelihood of divorce is higher (which according to many other studies is both generally initiated more by women and especially more initiated by women who start earning more than the husband). In other words, men who want L/T have every reason to avoid women set on out-earning them (and that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with whether or not he wants her to succeed in general). (This isn't a value judgment. Just lining up the facts.)

[@geoffrose9647]

Ok, but props for the Washington Post calligraphy on the whiteboard.

[@jivensekarr]

Been watching her for years and how does she keeps getting funny, smart and pretty??!

[@AnonymousOnimous]

And in other news, Queer folks are still wondering about the word on them.

[@prudentsage]

"are you serious? are you kidding me?" 😭

[@krumbergify]

Science isn’t supposed to necessarily reflect what you wish to be true. To solve issues and improve our conditions we first need to accept reality before we can change it.

[@Rockblue01]

1:19 omg it’s the voice from the Incredibles’ babysitter 😂

[@MindlessTube]

Cant wait for the study where they have to spend 2 hours in the woods with their choosing being either a wild bear or a random man.

[@ReadingDave]

What might be more interesting is what are traits that folks find attractive to specific individuals.

[@philjchow]

Revolutionary findings all right (sacrasm). When I stopped wearing glasses for contacts, noticed this, but did not like some giving me a back handed compliment looked ok for an AM.

[@besknighter]

I'm really interested in knowing what science says is the reason men usually feel more threatened when women they meet are more ambitious and/or intelligent. What is the difference between the men that don't feel like that as often (or at all) vs those that do? What are the perceived reason by both sides? What does the data says? What does the trend line looks like? Is there women who are more ambitious/intelligent than men that don't cause the same reaction? Or at least not with the same intensity? What do they have different from the ones that elicit such reactions more strongly/frequently? So on and so forth.

[@alanhilder1883]

It has to do with the divorce rate statement. It is the woman that instigates those divorces especially when she is the more ambitious and/or intelligent, ( something like 80% of all divorces,I don't have the numbers in front of me, are started by the woman, not only the more ambitious and/or intelligent ones ).

[@TheImapotato]

@@alanhilder1883 It is also because marriage is the only contract women can break and still be rewarded. She can cheat on you, smack you, even stab you then initiate divorce and get half your assets. It's wild, what a long running scam

[@Maria_Itziin]

Evolutionary psychology would blew your mind

[@vsheehan5928]

The real problem is the studies didn't try to determine if the study participants opinion on the attractiveness of their date was the same as a groups median rating of that date's attractiveness. I.e. If the date was going well socially did that change the participants' opinion on the attractiveness of their date. These are really lazy studies.

[@rajatroy631]

Anna fighting the good fight here

[@mmwoodcockart]

What are they rating as attractiveness though? Cause that's going to be different for each person.... Conventionally attractive? Good hygiene? Just simply attractive to the specific person who's dating?

[@RasmusVJS]

According to the article, it is evaluated by the dating person.

[@GrapefruitCat2]

You understand what I hate about the systems in place in America

[@HiImKangarou]

This is my reaction everytime a place does a study on "Whether ____ disproportionately/negatively affects black people". Like, bro, trust me, unless the blank is "UV rays" or "the order you get picked for pickup games", the answer is "yes".

[@kylehankins5988]

No its good they do studies on this stuff, because some people refuse to accept whats right in front of them

[@ArneAsada69]

Men’s preferences: just be hot Women’s preferences: be attractive, tall, rich, smart, same race, mature, emotional stable, caring, have mind reading ability, and good with kids and pets.

[@clairekorte6048]

Every gender has it tough in different ways and deserves empathy. Women are less worried about a man's looks (not within control w/o surgery if your face is fucked). Men can earn a career. Unless you have a disability, men have more agency in their attractiveness. Short of strict dieting, surgery and makeup a woman doesn't. Many can't afford surgery and some women have hormonal issues (PCOS) that affect their weight and makeup can't fix most things e.g. bone structure. As a woman your best asset is 100% deprecating with age not increasing like an man's career (unless health/intellect/social factors or low effort intervenes). Nevertheless, women are vein like men to ensure their offspring get a good shot. Men are vein to increase the change their children will be healthy. One day let's hope as a species we find a better way to screen and ensure we have a mate with health and skills to survive in this chaotic world.

[@martinfalkenberg64]

Every social study ever: 1. This is stuff I already knew 2. This goes completely against my believes and must be wrong. I would argue the gain is in the details and measuring exactly how much. It is all about how much/degree/dosage.

[@_Woo]

Attractiveness is definitely subjective otherwise my short chubby a$$ would not have dated nearly as many women as I have.

[@JeffroOng]

It is my personal opinion that most researches are over-marketed or over-sold; and if they were accurately published with the context of the studies upfront (instead of click-bait titles/catchy headlines) it wouldn't have amounted to much. Many of the important info (e.g., demographics of the research or tests, and controls in place) are in the fine prints or later part of the papers, if they were included - which are easily skipped or missed out. I'll be the first to admit, for most research paper, it's really hard for me to fully understand the writing in the first place, but when I see some sites cited their reference, I saw only the "juicy" parts got mentioned without much context that the research paper had provided.

[@greensteve9307]

But now we know it with ERROR BARS! xD

[@rafaeldeleon3386]

Feels like the study was one of those Onion articles they run every time there's a mass shooting.

[@Ocker3]

Another set of studies that could have been a literature survey!

[@LungsOutJem]

Oh, if you think it's weird that studies show people care about appearances, let me tell you about another study. It was a while back, but one group did a broad study including a very diverse group of men to see what features make a man more likely to get a date. These men were all different colors, different incomes, heights, weights, etc. And can you guess what the only overriding factor for getting a dste was? Height. Men over 5'10" were something like 3X more likely to get a date. The one thing they have no chance of changing is the one thing they need.

[@ababyrat3576]

As you should queen! Tell em! 😭🤣

[@domeatown]

Now here is the beef... They tested people that were single. As a person currently thrust back into the dating market against my will... I am frequently reminded that there is a lot of reasons people are single lol. Being a shallow lil turd is a reason that has popped up a few times. However... Most people do want a partner they are attracted to. And no one wants to fall in love and start a new life only to find out later that their partner finds them hideous, as well. Thats a pretty obvious soul-crusher. So, yeah. Water is wet. But I'd like to throw in that better science would also talk to successful couples. Some of the single folks I've bumped into are where they are for very obvious reasons.

[@drkwrk5229]

I find it thought provoking! Why can't people be less primitive? And reflect a little without so easily becoming blinded. Anna seems to get it, but do you Anna? Do you really? 😂😁 Sorry, it's just.. your stuff really hits home!

[@Medisaneman]

00.56 Was my and every mans type of Bro Humor lmao

[@Elven.]

the reason for my anger issues when trying to educate myself online. Maybe chatgpt is like that because everything feeds it npc level of information

[@IronBotTactics]

i mean i know what i want, a biological woman who likes women as much as i do is 7 or 8 cleans up nice and we can work towards our goals together, we do everything together that is important to do together, while having a small fraction of things we just do solo. both growing so we never end up boring.

[@ArgzeroYT]

When your study is required to be predesigned in terms of analysis it is inevitable that the writers and also reviewers of such research will only claim things that are obvious and rooted in confirmation bias, among other biases of the researchers and reviewers. If you want more meaningful insights, you need a combination of a true philosophy of relationships, love, and attraction (not just data but logic to justify it) and insights from participants need to be more organic, which makes such data very difficult to collect with any degree of consistency or to analyze. The structure of modern science is not well suited to understanding this phenomenon. The incentives afforded to scientists also do not enable them to go against the mold and be successful. Not to mention, scientific review performed by a small select number of people does not afford the review of such work sufficient diversity of perspective.

[@ricebabi8081]

Can't want to see you at 7:30 today!

[@taejasper1343]

This is hilarious, bro! Thanks so much, Anna!

[@raeslither8600]

“And uh, what about anyone who’s NOT heterosexual?” *all of the scientists implode*