Say This When She Says "She's Not Ready!" (Finding Herself or Emotionally Unavailable)

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[@chapter7149]

The best feeling is when there's a girl you really like, and she likes you even more

[@thatwealthylife9184]

Veeeeeeeery rare

[@theajitmore]

💔 let's hope.. many men get this.

[@monkeyforever082]

Hell no

[@muhammadhamid1961]

Happens never 😔

[@gutabadri7028]

Lmaoo was this the video to comment this on!!! Read the room shmuck 🤦🏾‍♂️😂

[@elmoviemaster]

If she offers a friendship when you clearly want a relationship just walk away. If she was meant for you she will come around. Otherwise it's always best to move on.

[@DJliberal]

Good advice, but easier said then done.

[@xonlytyrek3601]

Elmoviemaster yes my ex said she needed time to heal and that she wasn’t ready for a relationship rn But still wants to chat which is pointless and I can see right through the bs I cut it off completely and said we don’t need to talk period unless it’s for a real purpose or to work on it. May sound harsh but that’s how you gotta be fellas

[@misterrightuk]

DJliberal Very true but it has to be done

[@elmoviemaster]

@@DJliberal I learned the hard way. For years I'd accept friendship...knowing very well that it wasn't what I wanted. it wasn't until I got fed up and worked on myself that I realized my time is precious and as a man you have to lead and be upfront with what you want. It's not about being brash but being direct in your intent. It takes time but once you see where you made a mistake before you can avoid more of the same in the future.

[@kemfonekong9376]

True

[@nicke2307]

Completely 100% agree that if she still wants you in her life but you still want a relationship... cut her out completely. Dont give her the pleasure of keeping tabs on you to make herself feel validated. If she regrets her decision later, then let her make the time and effort to get back in touch with you. Put yourself first and have self respect. Your happiness should not depend on them.

[@michaelwilson7924]

Spot on Nick E. Most Guys cos of self esteem issues, make other people responsible for their happiness....especially Women, rather than taking responsibility for their own life and happiness....like a real man should. If you wanna date a girl, front her like a Man and bloody well ask her out. if she says yes, good work. if she says she only wants to be friends, you got 2 choices. 1, stay friends with her accepting it will never be anything else. Or 2, tell her;"I can accept datin me doesn't suit you, fair enough. But bein friends with you when i want more, doesn't suit me either. Thanks, but no thanks". Then simply walk away with your head up, and dignity intact. Being friends with a Girl hoping it becomes more, is a losers game....and the Guy ALWAYS loses. We all know how this plays out. Guy wants to date a Girl, she only wants to be friends. He hangs around bein the loyal, dutiful, "Nice Guy" supportive friend, hoping it changes. While the Girl goes off and dates other Guys, and barely gives him the time of day, until she wants somethin from him. Fact

[@TheDiamond-sw3qp]

What if you work with her?

[@aijunky]

400th Well Deserved Like.

[@josephanglada4785]

I would not close to her, but I would stop initiating contact with her.

[@cristiangelin3542]

Thank you guys my ex is like that I want more but she just friends I dont want that. So thank you so mutch 🥰

[@petpeeve4657]

"stop jumping fences for someone who's on the fence about u"

[@roxrox681]

yeah your ryt

[@TheCHILDRENofTV]

Pet Peeve preach!

[@cashrules520]

That was gold

[@stranger4464]

Damn this some wisdom

[@brianchesser6667]

Your get a result in the end, either she will come back to you or she won’t and if she doesn’t then you have saved yourself a whole bunch of time and energy.

[@christiansnaturestudio6599]

or be single for life which sucks

[@Fbitypeshit]

@@christiansnaturestudio6599 lol, a bit dramatic aren't you, you can meet someone else in your life

[@MarineVeteran99]

Screw that. Months? No guys listen if they put you in the friends zone. Put her in the goodbye zone and move on.

[@Getvagazzled]

Way easier said than done...

[@marksyb957]

Nah, friend zone is good. You've got a female friend - other women will find that attractive...

[@marksyb957]

@@MT-jg4op be nice. It's what everyone needs right now.

[@michaelwilson7924]

@@MT-jg4op What you do is walk away. This "she liked me before the cornoa virus bs is jut that...bs. If she liked you, she'd be with you. Pay LESS attention to what Women SAY....and MORE to what they DO

[@michaelwilson7924]

@@MT-jg4op While you go on deluding yourself with this:"She liked me before the virus" crap, she's in bed with a Guy already. That bed ain't yours, and that Guy ain't you

[@lag5761]

Oh it's not you it's me! I'm not ready for a relationship. 2 weeks later she's in one

[@deandredavis5264]

Exactly, says she doesn’t want a relationship right now, but will date Brad Pitt in a heartbeat.

[@jakemf1]

Yup they say things so they feel good about them and so they don’t have to take responsibility for anything. The break rules for certain men and make rules for others- classic saying

[@Celinefittie]

FALSE. Not always the case, some are aware that they genuinely can't handle a relationship at the moment.

[@shreyasiyer2718]

@@Celinefittie Yess. This girl said she liked me and that I was awesome but she wasn't ready for A relationship. I wouldn't blame her tho, she's really young

[@lexicon4u]

@Tyler Grant take responsibility for hurting for someone else or causing conflict. They always want to have a squeaky clean image

[@JACKPAVAL]

If their not ready for a relationship, they should not be going out with anyone in the first place.

[@UnexpectedWonder]

Truly!

[@denipratama5171]

Agreeed!!

[@jakemf1]

All about validation

[@agent00chimp]

F***in exactly! Lol

[@frankvillegas6730]

Nailed it

[@paulthomas2178]

Women say they're not ready for a relationship because they don't want to hurt your feelings. She's not into you, move on.

[@andrewmikov2624]

Exactly

[@thelastnation2159]

Well that's a bomb of truth that hurt me

[@3Z6I9R]

paul I see you’re speaking from experience. But sometimes that isn’t the case. Especially at my age “middle to late 30s”, women are fucked. Emotionally. It’s actually a big issue. And even with us men around my age? We’re just as fucked. Ahah

[@yellybeam2869]

I don't quite agree on that. I am currently in this type of situation but I cut her loose for 2 months. We didn't chat, talk, see each other, I even removed her from all socials yet she called me after 2 months and wanted to meet up, she missed me. BUT... she still says she is not ready and that I should wait what makes me extra confused...

[@astronomer992]

Well she did like me back but shes not my girlfriend yet

[@wutang23361]

She told me she doesn't want a relationship. Not right now or I'm not ready. Which basically means I dont want a relationship with you. Mic drop.

[@xonlytyrek3601]

wutang23361 that’s what my ex said but still wants to chat it up. Told her straight up don’t hit my line unless your serious and ready to work on it.🤙🏾💀

[@Tiagocouto12]

I purpose friends with benefits, if it’s yes better if not, get out

[@jessicaagu4093]

How about a situation when the girl is ready but the guy isn't ready after been together for awhile

[@theredbat8149]

@@jessicaagu4093 "I'm not ready" is another way of saying that "my relationship with you does not align with my plan for myself". When guys say it, it means that. The particulars could be different from when women do it, but it is essentially a cop-out because that person doesn't want to hurt feelings or have a confrontation.

[@tystake557]

@@xonlytyrek3601 AMEN brother! Just recently told my girl (or ex girl) the same thing!

[@isoccerpluse]

Literally going through this right now. I was talking to this girl, we talked everyday and hung out a lot. And after a couple of months, I asked her if we could be more. And well she said "nows not the time for me for a relationship and shes not ready" and my heart broke right then and there and I felt everything you said. I felt I wasn't good enough and I was just an ugly dude, I tried to make her fall for me but nothing was working.... now we dont even talk and it hurts like hell...

[@jvv9697]

Hang in there DC. Apparently you are not alone.

[@agent00chimp]

My exact current situation, man. Been a couple months. She's now been distant for a lil over a week, but we have spoken a little. She even planned a date with me tomorrow. I'm confused by this bc I don't hear from her for days regularly now since maybe last week. I don't know how to interact with her, if I should talk to her, or if I'm being too much to her by sending a text once every 1-3+ days...It hurts bc I genuinely think I love her or at least feel very strongly for her...It's not in my heart to lie about feelings...

[@PR_Redskinz]

@@agent00chimp what has happened since then?

[@biswajitdatta787]

Have gone through the same situation last year,.... Later I felt there is someone else in her life other than me and that was the truth which I came to know after waiting for a year, this completely broke me down.... Later I gained control on my emotions rather than being a emotional fool and stopped contacting her as I used to do previously n moved on,...... But one thing I can't deny, she still contacts me....

[@harlemmitch23]

It’s crazy that everyone is going threw these things

[@shawnellmcqueen268]

I was told that by a woman, "were not good for each other". I said "peace", threw up the bunny ears and got physically attacked by her for walking away and taking the gesture of hers so well. Smh.

[@robertravena]

yeah some of them really get bent out of shape when you show and mean you dont give a fuck and wont let them waste your time and will walk without a thought.

[@LyrasRaven]

Dodged a bullet there

[@PDZ2028]

From experience, if she puts you in the friend zone, just walk away. It's that simple. She'll realize she lost a good thing. And when she tries to come back, simply tell her you want to be friends and only her friend. She'll be begging for you. It's all about leverage.

[@ignitiousmukobe6713]

😂😂😂😂 cold 💀💀💀

[@febinjohnson8465]

I was really emotionally distressed, but your thoughts made me much stronger, I am writing this with my eyes pouring. Thank you for that 5:30 mins of strength in my life🙏🏻🙂

[@johnrider4861]

I know exactly what you mean. I’m about to chat with the girl I really like about this. She’s not ready and let’s hope I’m strong enough to let her go.

[@frankiegunnz8066]

So Febin and John, what's the update on ya situations brothers?

[@yumyum1002]

I fucking feel this so much

[@Yerovs07]

Happened to me yesterday, she is dealing with a lot of things in her life that have drained her emotionally, and she told me right now she can't give me what I want because she is not emotionally available right now, that she wants space to focus on herself, heal some things and if thingd were meant to be we will get back together eventually, but man...it hurts like hell to know you are "losing" that person simply because of bad timing

[@hams_ollo]

Stay strong 💪 brother

[@zazzaz84]

I'll share with you two situations I've had in my life. The first one was with a girl I liked who decided to kiss me an entire evening because another man did not want her and the following day she came to me saying "I can't be with you because I have this other man in my mind"... I said "Fine, I have no choice" and she said "It's all you got?" Tuns out she wanted me to battle for her interest, she wanted to feel desired despite the fact that she had another man in her mind. Girls don't play mind tricks, you might get burned. My ex girlfriend who I had been with for 6 years after taking the last box of her stuff from my house said "you know if in two or three years we're both still single we can be together again". I was already at the point of hating her for leaving me but after I while I realised that I will be her second choice if that happens and I know I'm not the best man on earth but I don't deserve the feeling of being the second choice of anybody. Guys it takes guts to be alone but being along is way better than wasting your life with the wrong people. Develop yourself and be fine with yourself.

[@ryanellyalcantara9175]

Thank you...

[@andrewwyman7989]

My best friends now wife asked me to be her back up if her marriage to my best friend didn’t work out in 5yrs

[@rjohnson5972]

Amen !! Bravo Bravo

[@chiya2006]

She wanted you to be her spare tire that can be used once in 2 years if she gets flat tire

[@LyrasRaven]

Andrew Wyman spoiler: it’s not going to work out in 5 years 😂

[@tejastalekar7841]

Guys its simple if a girl really likes you she will do anything to keep you and will not play games. Stay woke 🤝❤️

[@TROUBLESOMEAGUILARTV]

I just told her I couldnt be her friend anymore when she already said she "wasnt ready" delete her number and everything. Just go seperate ways now . especially if you shared moments with them

[@bravobravo673]

Update

[@joemancini2988]

Apollonia is named for one of the most powerful male gods. This enables her to speak with compassion and authority to men. She is the High Priestess and guardian of men’s hearts.

[@RB3565]

Amen brother

[@Barbarian646]

She means well but is a woman.....so her mentality point if view will be an emotional one

[@bjames692]

Joe Mancini your logic is crazy

[@jvv9697]

Hope Apollonia does a video on this stuff. I think I have anxiety attachment and she has avoidant. Or is she emotionally unavailable because of her past? These in themselves should shout to me to no contact and move on. I need to learn to be alone and love it. I didn't get much love as an egg.

[@regisjohnathan]

It crazy she was the one that wanted everything firstly because we had the bond that connection in the beginning and the moment i made my intentions clear she pulled away saying that she really wants a relationship with me but shes to scared because of her past .This video helped me alot i was doing way to much always showing up even tho i was hurting, my insecurities started showing and it felt like i was constantly begging for her time and attention. Its a process even if we dont end up together in the end i hope she find her joy and happiness someday because she truly is an amazing woman

[@bentmetal01]

How's this relationship going for you guys now?

[@jeremyhilbert2995]

Yup this demotivated me much more than I already was

[@Drega84]

Recently I had a pseudo relationship like this, gave her space and everything else, she continued to say I am not ready after a long time. Didn't worked for us and we broke up on whatever this was. No friendship after this to me and her, only goodbye and good luck... Still hurt and miss her like hell, but sometimes we must move on because of our mental health... stay strong who is in this situation. 🤗👊

[@Boboboy55]

good man🙏

[@AliNowak]

Make sense. Good response. Shows understanding. If she not ready, then she should understand if the guy goes another way, with someone else.

[@hadaydoyin]

I have been told twice now by same girl that she can't date me, we still chat on WhatsApp.. do you think it's wise I should block her ? Because it's easy for me and her to keep taps on eachother via WhatsApp status and all.. Do you think I should block her .. I really fell for her and am heartbroken by the disappointment, I just want to move on now.

[@FOH45]

@@hadaydoyin u gotta go on to other people, and if she's ur friend then gotta know that she's not at any point gon date u, and move on to other people and put her in the friend zone. .....ull need discipline and ability to face facts to do this bruh

[@fredotlogetswe3047]

@@hadaydoyin don't block her but stop chatting with her completely, it will somehow eat her inside, some women like knowing there is some guy out there who likes them that they rejected and the guy is like thier puppet, move on to another girl and update your Whatsapp status with your pics with the girl, put your new girl on the DP. Bro it's time we fight back, she is going to get hurt hurt.

[@edwinbetancourt3958]

@@fredotlogetswe3047 it's cold blooded but that's str8 facts. You gotta keep moving...u can also be the one to initiate the space giving by stating that u aren't seeing the results and putting that on ice. They may not be immediately be impacted but they definitely will get the message and start to get curious about your mindset when you go cold turkey. You can only really control yourself...but you can create dynamics that set you apart when you've already said what you had to say and do the pulling away first and for the right reasons. Undecided people aren't going to magically make a decision because you keep beating that bush...they gotta see the difference when you not involved in validating them or just being around. That's when they get the epiphany. Either way it's a win win for you. You either get them to see they need to prove their commitment or you let them keep creating more of a disconnect. It's all or nothing really.

[@virtual240]

How do I attract a beautiful woman when most of the ones I like and have stuff in common with are taken or not attracted to me? I mean im 6'3", 198 lbs, play beach vball, and do boxing, all of which I did to attract a woman. Im now 36 yrs old and never had a career or a gf :(. Today's job market and women are too picky.

[@craigtitusfitness2249]

In my experience, if she says this its because the man has come off his center. He's come on too strong/ heavy and has usually unloaded his emotions on her when she hasn't.

[@nathanaelbartholomew]

You are completely right. I put myself in that situation. Running away now since it's not getting me anywhere.

[@r3sianon975]

@kiyosk Similar situation

[@tonymaketh9505]

kiyosk same thing here

[@ryanellyalcantara9175]

@kiyosk same... Still in that hole... Told her I will stick by her. Dont know if would work. But we'll see. Pray that it would, but if not, I'll be fine either way. Well i hope. I love her. She pushed me away once, said that it's unfair for me to stay. But I still do. I pray she finds her way to me the way I love her. Edit: i just let her go... everything will be okay in the end.

[@CourtneySturkey]

kiyosk lol im in that situation now bro. Low key has me confused af

[@feedzeke2195]

I was talk to this female for a while and I started catching feelings for her that I couldn’t control and I wanted to be in a relationship and then after that she just started flaking me and being unresponsive and distant. So I just texted her one evening and asked why your being distant and she apologized and told me because I wanted something more than she wanted. I told her this “It’s okay you don’t have to be sorry. I totally understand. Do I like you yes I do I like you a lot but I accepted the fact you don’t want what I would like and if I truly like you like I said I do then I’ll accept it and respect your wishes. I can’t be mad at that. And even if would say yes I wanna be in a relationship with you right now , you eventually wouldn’t be happy and that something I wouldn’t want from you. I always want you to be happy no matter what.” And that was it. I gave her space and I just been enjoying my life and being the best man I can be. I don’t hold no grudge with her or anything like that. I started to get to know other women and just enjoy my single life and better myself.

[@danielsalazar6211]

Thanks Apollonia, This one really hit home with me. It was the hardest thing to do to let go of someone who is not ready for you. But one moves on and survives this chalk it as a learning experience. I have decided to just to take a break from the dating world. It's lonely I'm not going to lie but I do believe that it is worth it.

[@frankiegunnz8066]

2 years later..... What's the update brother?

[@moisesblanco]

Apollonia! You have such a way of breaking things down. Keep up the good work. Cheers

[@youngloenoe]

The shorter version is: OK, Bye.

[@supahotfire655]

It's funny because she was so confident and ready when she chased me to date her

[@ChetanMarimuthu]

Fcukkk. This is so true 😂 Happened with me too

[@daniellele9634]

This is so hilarious guys, looks like we all in the same boat... I guess it's about not showing too much Interest, telling her stuff, let her lead the way to relationship. And we just kick back and have fun. Just learned this. Cat string theory, if you give the cat the steig it wont chase it anymore, but when you keep it infront of the nose pulling it back and forth cat goes nuts

[@iamu2247]

They could have just wanted your attention

[@aasimbalouch8618]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@smellysocksonthetable419]

Same lol

[@marcello256256]

When a woman tells me she wants to take things slow that becomes a red flag that it’s not gonna work out. Usually, it means this person is going to eventually say they are not ready because they were hurt by an ex or still suck in the past. It’s happened twice to me in a row and it’s makes me angry.

[@juanauj6376]

That’s exactly what happened to me. I was dating a 21 year old girl (I’m 29) about 3 months and, at first, she told me to slow down a bit. Turns out that she texted me she is not ready for a relationship despite we had a great time together; texting everyday and hanging out every week.

[@robertswift6101]

@@juanauj6376 dump her,,,shes for the streets and playing games

[@dvs87]

@@juanauj6376 what happened bro, im in the same exactly situation with 5 months dating

[@Sugabullets]

Basically say I have needs, ima go find someone who's available, let me know when you're ready and maybe we can work something out.

[@Xscape128]

I'd leave out the "let me know when you're ready" part.. cause if she's not interested she won't let you know. Plus you don't want to give the impression that she can just summon you when she wants. Let her know you'll move on to someone else, wish her luck and keep it moving.

[@rai.b98]

Can't believe I've just had this happen to me, during lockdown of all times 😔 decided not to remain friends as she did me wrong in this particular case though. Sucks but to anyone else going through this right now, you'll get through it 💪🏽

[@frankobrown8116]

Happens to me today

[@javo10ful]

Same here :(

[@Sneaky.Nyxnyxnyx]

+1 same here lol

[@Gatiksoni]

How to move on

[@VeriousSmithIII]

Happene to me yesterday. Stay strong.

[@Raymond7779]

I would add don't sound so eager to take her in if she does change her mind down the road. Dont allow yourself to be friends zoned! Let her feel shes going to lose you, to create an urgency with her, and be ready to fully walk away if necessary.

[@elclaudiosanchez]

We slept together for the 3rd time, we woke up, we took a shower, we went out to have breakfast, then I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said she was not ready for a relationship, I asked the waiter to split the bill, I paid for my burrito and walked out.

[@db8715]

I’m not ready is code for I’m not attracted to you. That person started something that was never there In the first place. I don’t waste my time with women that don’t have a high level of interest in me, in the first place. Takes time and experience to master this. If there’s any hesitation, I walk away. No second chance.

[@michaelwilson7924]

Bingo D B I'm not ready, I need me time, I need to find myself, are all subtle ways of Women telling Guys they don't want a relationship with them, and aren't attracted to them, trying not to hurt their widdle "Nice guy" feewings, so they don't feel like a bitch. A Girl isn't interested in a Guy when she says that. Smart Guys simply walk away and forget about her

[@denipratama5171]

What about that you have in relationship for 3 years? . Suddenly she said that she doesnt want to continue this.

[@hadaydoyin]

I have been told twice now by same girl that she can't date me, we still chat on WhatsApp.. do you think it's wise I should block her ? Because it's easy for me and her to keep taps on eachother via WhatsApp status and all.. Do you think I should block her .. I really fell for her and am heartbroken by the disappointment, I just want to move on now.

[@joviruona793]

@@hadaydoyin You are in her friendzone bro. I always advise guys to break contact with a girl so you can still have a chance to seduce her sometime in the future. But the more you keep having those "friendly" chats on WhatsApp, the deeper into the friendzone you get.

[@joviruona793]

@@hadaydoyin Also, you should delete her number so you can stop seeing her WhatsApp updates. That's way, you'll easily get her off your mind.

[@tygur23]

Never Express your emotions first to a woman never bring up relationships or commitment first to a woman once you do you lose all leverage let her chase your emotions let her commit to you first and you will have her heart

[@danielsalazar6211]

I did that mistake with a girl that I really liked. Never again will I ever say to a girl that I like her. Lesson learned

[@LyrasRaven]

That doesn’t make any sense. The woman who taught you this “philosophy” wasn’t into you even if you hadn’t made the first moves. Women love being chased. If they want you, you won’t have to chase for very long at all 🤷‍♀️

[@danielforster1159]

LyrasRaven M

[@seohyunvalencia8999]

That’s feminine energy.

[@davidemmanuel8473]

lyrasRaven. spot on, I think i Iike you

[@PaperRaines]

"If you don't want to be friends with her forever, you shouldn't be friends with her in this period" That's pretty solid advice. Harsh, but probably true

[@BruceJC75]

The longer I live, the more I find that my gut feeling is usually right. I’m not in the best place right now to start a relationship, but It’s so easy to get dragged into something. I haven’t been looking cause I’m trying to build up my career and be more financially secure before I start looking, but every once in a while I’ll get pursued by a girl and the attention is so nice, especially since I’m a loner, I get dragged in. Every time it’s nothing but a stupid game to them. I gotta learn to say “Fuck off” until I’m ready to start looking.

[@vWisK]

How are things looking for you today? I recently met this girl and she said she ks „kinda into me“. But emotionally unavailable, because she is still not over her ex. I have been played with 3 out of 5 times and now I am not sure whether to stick to her or not. Atm I am keeping my distance, let things sink in. She was so affectionate all the time and then she blasted it with 1 conversation

[@GurraGo]

@@vWisK This is interesting. My gf (since less than a year) seems to be really into me when we hang out and she's also making suggestions where we should go and what we should do next. However, she's not texting me a lot and she's not expressing her emotions that much in words (she is however really liking us holding hands when we're out walking and when we are cuddling, having sex etc. A bit confused. Is that due to that words are not her love language, that she's purposely holding back due to fear of being hurt or something else? There are no signs that she's interested in someone else. On the contrary - I think she's a bit scared that I may meet someone better than her and that I may hurt her.

[@artheriford]

The Friend Zone is like the Hotel California. You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave. Once you are there, you aren't getting out my friends

[@ericsvoboda8906]

She thought she was ready, fell madly in love wanted me to marry her everything seemed perfect, I got a ring. She realized she didn’t give herself time to heal and know how to be happy for herself since her ex husband. She’s on top of the world when I’m around and falling apart when I’m not. I don’t want to lose her. I want what’s best for her and making her stay while struggling seems selfish but I really don’t want to lose something so perfect. I want to help her through the depression but it’s going to be so hard to just be friends with the woman I thought I would marry

[@patrikfrroku7215]

Any very brief update?

[@hammerhead19able]

Thank you. I watch your videos which are always so inspiring, truthful and caring. I'm learning and growing and adding to what I have already become. Growing is one of the most beautiful thing in life for me.

[@shi3918]

I literally had to watch this 3 times as you just said I did some of the things as your talking about Right now.

[@masosoup4559]

i was dating this girl and she just broke up with me yesterday saying how she's not ready for a relationship. she was the one that asked me out so i'm unsure why she would play with my feelings knowing she wasn't ready. we hung out and talked every second and every day for a month and she even opened up to me and cried in front of me but clearly none of that meant anything to her. i'm stuck wanting true answers but i know i'll just come across as desperate if i even ask so i just told her "ok i understand" then left it at that. the same day she broke up with me we both agreed to tell my mom that we were dating and we even coordinated and outfit together that same day, and we both brought eachother food. a few hours after all of that she went to hang out with a friend then that's when she broke the news to me a few hours later so honestly i feel like something happened within that time frame that caused her to change her mind about me because in the morning we were fine then at night time when she went with her friend she ended it. i'm really hurt because i've spent so much time and energy on her and i normally don't do that for anyone and she's leaving me in the dust with countless questions that i want the answer to but can't ask.

[@JaeFreshmen]

you gave her to much of your time bro in the beginning , you got to take control and pace the situation accordingly , i would say dont even start dating until you spent 3 months talking with her and only hanging out twice a week and also be open to other relationship in the meantime and dont text everyday or all through the day thats were you went wrong you showed her you had nothing else going on

[@yougotkained]

I had the same message, reworded from 3 different girls one after another in the space of about 6 months. Granted, I think I'm very forward with my emotions and feelings but at the time, they do too. In fact, one of them came on strong to me... Then sent me that text 'It's nothing you've done. I just want to find myself. I'm not looking for a relationship.' Hey - it's fine. I understand there was something in me not attractive and you didn't want to be with me. That's life. C'est la vie.

[@kevingreen9534]

The words you use to tell her in this situation was so POWERFUL. I replayed that part of the video three times just to write them down.. APOLLONIA a WOMAN for the MEN !!⚘

[@nojustno1216]

I had a woman pursue me for 8 months who I saw every day-I'm 51 and she's 23. She told me that she liked me and I asked her how old she thought I was and she said... I don't know, around 38...40? I told her I was 51 and maybe that's too much of an age difference and she said you don't look anywhere near 51. Plus, you're always very polite and nice to me. Additionally, she said she doesn't care about age, she just wants a man who is mature and treats her nice. She said she really did like me, so I finally relented and we went one ONE date. We had talked a lot about life and other things for a while prior to this. We actually had more intellectual and meaningful conversations than I had with women my own age- she's very intelligent and seemed to have wisdom beyond her years. She told me that I seem to be able to read her like a book and I understand her and that made her very happy. Then it started...almost immediately after we started talking a lot after the date, I got the old, I'm not ready for a relationship line. I reminded her that I wasn't the one who sought her out- but I was glad that our lives crossed paths. Our discussion got a little tense but still polite - then she asked me, did you think we were going to f***. That hurt as I don't look at her as a tramp to be used, but as a woman to be respected. I told her that not once did I make a sexual advance toward her and I didn't even initiate a hug on the first date because I want to get to know her from the inside out. I said that if I just wanted sex, I'd go to the club; that's not the kind of guy that I am. She apologized, said she knows I'm not that kind of guy and that she doesn't know what to do. Being used for her body it what she is used to. I told her that I think she has a beautiful soul and I hurt for the pain she feels and that I hope she finds true love one day and is treated like a princess but I'm obviously not the one for you, so I'll say goodbye and God bless. Her reply.... Wait...what? You're not going to talk to me anymore? She asked me not to go away and that we can still be friends (I hate that phrase). We text back and forth with mostly the usual pleasantries and she'll ask for advice about finances, or other life things from time to time. I thought of her a lot after getting to know her after the first 4 or 5 months after meeting her but I kept my thoughts to myself. Now, she's the last memory on my mind before I sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake. I wish that I didn't open up again now. Prior to this, I had been alone for 7 years because of a horrific experience with a very evil woman who verbally, financially and spiritually tormented me in cruel ways. I told myself I'd never trust again...yet here I am with her holding a little piece of my heart. I listened to what you said, I really don't know what to do... Part of me thinks I'll hurt more by keeping in touch but the other part thinks the pain of being without her will be easier because I've learned to deal with loneliness (at least it's a consistent hurt and not a rollercoaster ride of emotions).

[@dk_shorts1234]

Longest comment in the world

[@brandonsimpson5804]

I asked this girl out again after going on a few dates and was told this💔 “I’d love to go as friends. I’ve been thinking lately and I don’t think I’m ready to date anyone seriously right now but I think you are so awesome and I want to remain friends if that’s ok with you. Let me know what your thoughts are :)” To the day my heart broke, it had been only 10 days since the first time we met in person but yet my dreams have cursed me with making it feel like years. When I closed my eyes I saw her in my future. A perfect subconscious life where nothing could go wrong. My dreams were so peaceful at the time but now so evil.

[@lemminglobber1854]

This situation! Exactly this situation! Thank you. I've been losing my damn mind for a week trying to work out what to do.

[@wozicfizytg802]

If u like him/her tell her directly whatever he/she reply yes or No.....if no accept dont stick with it like friend zone n shit etc....leave it as it is move on u grow more.....u learn a lesson...u become stronger mentally if u can accept rejection....

[@wreckingtestes2885]

She said that to me after 6 months of knowing her and it hurt me bad 😞

[@nuel_forgingstrength]

Thank you so much Apollonia, you're a life saver. This is my exact situation. Lucky for me, this was the response I gave her. Keep up the good work!

[@themalaailaanaa1347]

So in her pants zone or friends zone ?

[@jcnba28]

Yeah what happened?

[@HIELOKING]

Muy bueno!!! I just went out a couple of months ago with this Columbian and after a couple of dates i told her I was interested in her and where she was at. She told me those exact words in a very nice legitimate tone. So sweet. So i told her somewhat those words you say on this video. Yesterday she texted me, we went out, she bought me coffee and told me she was ready. She finally got her own apartment, got a better job and is now at a better stage in her life. Now I truly believe her because before i thought it was a polite way to get rid of me in a polute way. Nice apolonia!

[@johngonzalez4298]

*Colombian

[@gordiandres]

John Gonzalez Lmaoooo was looking for this comment

[@htatooyan3959]

She said "I ain't ready." The next month,She posted Relationship status :-)

[@FiereZero]

Oof chief

[@calijay9805]

This video just helped me a lot. Just sent a text saying exactly what was said here, and she responded wanting to still “be in the mix” told her I don’t think so. Thank you Apollonia

[@zickmacxis6802]

You did the right thing bro. I've been in this position before, and she came back begging after 3 months of no contact. Stay strong.

[@Nutellaa_1]

Zick Macxis it actually works ?? Casue Im in this positions right now

[@WilsonCheungVlogs]

Hi, this one girl said “I want to be honest and straight forward with you. I enjoy being with you. I’m currently not ready for a relationship, work and mental wise. I don’t want to waste your time” I said thank you for letting me know. Im not trying to sound weird but I enjoyed every second I saw you. I totally understand, I can’t do anything about it, it’s your choice. If I did anything wrong lmk, if you want to talk in person I’m down too. She ghosted me so…😅

[@sheepdog819]

I'm trying to rekindle a relationship with my ex-wife and I'm in the friend zone.. She says she doesn't want to act like nothing happened. I'm right there too! But, I do love her and left her because it was like loving a brick wall. Regardless, she still expresses interest. Just, she is very stand oafish because of the pain we both went through. If you're committed, there is no bounds but, there is only time. I'll take that time. I'm not someone who believes I can't do better. I know I can yet, no one has ever captivated me like the mother of my kids.

[@adamk828]

Watched this crying. Thank you for the advice. It will be hard being with out her.

[@khae74]

It worked. She was saying she was still healing from her last relationship. *I said exactly your words Apollonia* and she came back after a day and said what do I suggest. I said *I suggest you forget the past and continue with me, otherwise you will lose a good boyfriend*, she agreed and thanked me for understanding

[@frozonagexxpli1163]

@boi haha you n me both

[@TheCoolKidZ21]

So update, you guys together?

[@andy6076]

TheCoolKidz21 istg😂

[@andy6076]

boi 😂😂

[@christiansnaturestudio6599]

@@TheCoolKidZ21 probably end up as just friends

[@cognacmanandson2629]

I was told the “I’m not ready for a relationship” speech…I told her to give me a call if she wanted to get dressed to go out and have a good time… and never looked back

[@bangtbebigdee9580]

It’s crazy because my ex just told me that and I said I understand I gave u your time that’s the end of that we see what happened next 💯

[@Iamqueenjazzy]

TBE BEN4 well what happen 😂😂

[@jisweynph9744]

Update?

[@unclevick3784]

Omfg word for word; step by step i literally did everything correct that she state in this video I’m so shocked; i feel way better now that I’m on the right path and did it exactly like this

[@ApolloniaPonti]

Yes!

[@thait2493]

This video was recommended to me just in time. I stumbled upon this situation, and I am patiently waiting. I’ve given her space for a month and a half... and like her, I am continuously working on myself. We both had been through rough relationships in our pasts, individually, so I understand where she is coming from. I just happen to come to terms with my faults and past mistakes, and accepted that they happened. I feel that she is still going through the same phase. I honestly would be ok with being her friend, though I do have strong feelings for her. Which is why I need to take steps back as well.

[@vlekje34]

Ey buddy, you got any update so far?

[@sasbttrr]

Don't be a SIMP. and don't let a women use you by Guilt-tripping you. Period!! While you give her space and work on yourself. Trust me she would be sleeping with someone else. Pack your bags, make your peace , and move on!

[@GurraGo]

Know it's a bit late. But you shouldn't "wait" for her. You should let go and be open to her coming back. In the meantime - go for someone new and have fun.

[@georgeyee185]

This video came at the right time. I am going to invest in myself and travel the world. Ain’t nobody has time for this!!

[@Justin-baxe]

I used to hear this all the time and put myself in the friend zone.

[@atlaslovesyou9765]

GUYS I STARTED FLIRTING AND TOLD HER EVERYTHING I FELT AND SHE WAS SPEECHLESS AND BLUSHING FOR 10 MNUTES

[@savarice]

I phrased my question differently, I already knew she wasn't ready, so I waited three months and then told her "Hey, I've developed feelings for you but I understand you're not ready. I'm not ready either so when we feel ready, I'd like to take you out on a date" she said yes. The only thing that's been bugging me is how do I know when that mutual spark happens.

[@100Emman]

When she's not ready don't wait or put your life on hold for her. Forget her and move on its that simple!

[@BigShaud101]

I think the “thanks for letting me know” part and “I can’t do this if we’re not on the same page” is all you need is good advice. Every thing else you said just sounds like “ I’m here if you change your mind” to me.

[@tremor2000]

OmG this totally worked, I watched this video, texted her last night and she texted back this morning. Dang its amazing how we men screw this up, I would have never thought to say this but it bloody WORKED. Thank you very much

[@AlMoSiCe210]

I wish I had heard the last couple of minutes when I was younger... but damn... I'm ready to implement!

[@vdn17]

This video and the comment section is literally what I need right now. Tysm

[@shahanpervez3043]

Wow! Thank you so much Apollonia Ponti. This is happening with me and I needed an advice on this. Thank you so much. You are the real wonder woman. Love you. Thanks a lot. This is a wonderful video.

[@user-nj5cl6xs4n]

This is exactly what Ive needed to say to someone and how Ive been feeling but was unable to find the words. Thank you for this video.

[@mariesanoria5164]

"Im not ready." can stem from so many different directions. Maybe this girl had recently gotten out of a 5 year relationship and is really not ready to be in anything as of the moment. its not because she doesn't want to be with you. I actually really like this one person, this person has everything that i have been looking for, from the accountability, kindness, same values etc. Although, from experience when you get into a relationship you do it when you are full not only half full. meaning if you date KNOWING that you are not ready, the relationship will naturally go downhill and soon take its course into you both splitting apart at a faster rate. When a woman claims she is not ready it simply means she needs that time for herself, reevaluate what it is she needs for herself. to focus on getting her shit together so that when she is ready she will have more to offer on the table. You don't want a female that half in and half out. you want someone that is full on committed right? that what you deserve. its always best to date when both party's have a mutual feeling about this situation. it is what only best and healthy for her and for you. Date when the time feels right. Trust the process.

[@Mr9to5702]

You need repost this once everyday 30 days.. this best advice ever. I hardest i had to learn.

[@troyharper6967]

Good morning Ms Apollonia your videos are the best much love to you and your family ♥️

[@thisgustin]

AP, how come you're the only legit relationship coach who has addressed this here on KZbin? Thank you so much for this insight. I am so thankful to have found it, I really needed it.

[@craigschuler7660]

Never...Never....Never be a womans friend....Let her find a different emotional tampon.

[@jvv9697]

I won't because I couldn't

[@Musicizmyremedy]

You’re the only coach I listen to! You’re like the angel over my shoulder telling me what to do :)

[@brianmarshall3931]

What you say is "See you later" and move on - quickly!

[@arturorivera4280]

Not what I wanted to hear but definitely what I needed to hear.

[@wiseman4160]

If she says let's be friends and you be friends with her, deep down she will have less respect for you and will see you as not a high quality Male. Same thing if you get too angry when she asks you this. And saying she's not ready may mean her heart is still attracted to the bad boy type or not over her ex or both.

[@angelreyes406]

This was 🔥I just had to talk to a girl I recently met as I was in the car with her, I asked her if she was ready, she said no and thankfully I said something along the lines that you said in this video, I naturally felt relieved as I was open to her about this, cause now I can move in knowing it wasn’t meant to happen in the first place. I’m not sweating it, life’s good.

[@e25023]

Great advice, thank you. I listened to you on "The Winggirl Method" podcast last week; you were wonderful. ...message ends.

[@thewitnessbox]

I saw this video late... But i said the right thing... She had her reasons for when she said that, giving her the space felt like the right thing.

[@coastaldiva]

If a girl says shes not ready for a relationship, she’s not into you period. No girl says that to guys she’s attracted to

[@Stonebeard-w9j]

This happened to me today and I approached the situation with respect for her openess and accountability that she didn't want to keep hurting me and that she wasn't truly ready and it shouldn't have happened because I am a great person. I just didn't check all her box's and she thought she was ready and realized she has a lot of work to do one her self to accept and receive love. And I quote her " So this is what I wanted to say in person that I didn't want to be misconstrued or twisted and didn't want to come off too harsh. I spent a good portion of the year last year working on myself meditating listening to positive affirmations doing things to be better and make myself feel better about myself. I spent a really good portion of my life feeling less than, having less than and just never feeling good enough for anyone or anything I literally have a reminder tattooed on my body that I am enough. In all my self work last year I saw how far I've come, how much I've accomplished and how hard I've worked to get here. You call it narcissism I call it finally being able to look in the mirror and be proud of the person I am. In that time I also thought a lot about what I want and deserve in a relationship. I literally made lists of things I wanted and wouldn't accept. Then I met you and you're cute, sweet, overly nice to me which we both know was incredibly hard for me and think I'm the prettiest girl ever but you also had a few things that were on my don't accept list and I wanted so bad to look passed them but then I'd get drunk and lash out on you for not having all the things and say mean and nasty things and I am really truly sorry for that. It's not you I was mad at its me.Like I said earlier we probably never should have done this I really clearly am not ready. I still have a lot to figure out about myself and what I really truly want in a relationship. You are a great person and I wish nothing but the best for you" My follow up was. Im.going to need time to process Thank you for being so open with me. Hopefully in time we can be friends.

[@Stonebeard-w9j]

I'm processing but I've asked other people amd they all said she's definitely going to come back. Idk

[@Ramblingmovietakes]

I was dating this girl for like 2 months , fell for her ( like an idiot ) , and three days later she tells me that she needs space and wants to take a step back. She also said that she’s not shutting me out , that she wants to take some time to get her head right. After a few days she got more distant and then more distant. I’ll admit that I’ve put pressure on her... but I’ve been nothing but kind. I just try to talk to her about us and she just seems to get more and more distant. It sucks. I really do have feelings for her... I know it was just two months but I clicked with her in a way I haven’t clicked with anyone in years. I keep hoping that if I just leave her alone that she’ll come back... but I’m losing hope.

[@wlbrtsmth3]

Update?

[@midhunc.vinodh2327]

Move on

[@jpgillain]

oh my gosh Apollonia.. I am just going through this because of a divorce this woman of interest of mine is going through. I was fireworks the first weeks and then, the ex put pressure, the kids started acting up (all legitimate reasons mind you) and then the breaks came on. Then we went from dating to her asking me to just be friends (I don't want to lose you etc... just like what you said on your video).. I have been sensing that I needed to put a stop to it for me and just didn't know how to formulate this.. So Thank you for the blue print because I know that's the best thing I could do right now, for me. Heck, for her too! No need at this stage in my life to wait around. God willing she will come back. Or not ! Great advice.. !!! It resonates with me.

[@desmondmokomela4971]

Thank you for this, I am currently going through this with a woman that is so so amazing! Yes it will be hard but the fruits will show. She did say that she is finding her self as I once did before meeting her. I have said what it is I want and put it out there, just that she may know where I am at too. So one will have to wait. Funny the aim is not to sweat, yet one still breaks sweat! 😅😂

[@jaymedalbeth6962]

I had no choice but to move on. This difficult individual was an emotional mess and couldn't tolerate her grumpiness and moodiness caused by lack of emotional growth from bullying. She also said that she's not ready for a relationship and won't be for a long time. So it was best not to continue my friendship with her and pursue someone else.

[@jaymedalbeth6962]

It was best to continue life on my own

[@guilherminhu]

How is it going 3 years later jayme? did she come to you? Did she find someone else?

[@Barbarian646]

Tell her you will be available for a relationship when she is ready? In other words wait for her? No way.....you dont want to give that impression to a woman?

[@coolasice5622]

Totally agree.

[@altafshaikh601]

She said "I am ready for more and If I may be available" Emphasis on May be makes a difference making it realistic , may be or may be not available later at that time. " known to create missing out or fear of loss"

[@kelvinkim7981]

No no no. What this lady just said is simple. By saying to her, and using the phrase '... And I hope...' what you simply doing you're giving her a psychological ultimatum to weigh herself and make a choice to lose or keep you.

[@louismarriott8698]

You're an utter genius. You describe everything I'm going through in perfect detail. THANKYOU!

[@OhDannyboy7]

Ugh, this just happened me via a generic fb message. She's an emotional basket case after a recent divorce. But it still hurts nonetheless after everything seemed perfect.

[@codeyneff5481]

Hey I just wanted to say thank you. On a journey to loving and respecting myself. Your very lovely

[@openher148]

Dating don't equal relationship

[@freddylimpster7137]

Nobody ever said that? Besides, she made a video about this kzbin.info/www/bejne/g2qceIpvpJJ5q9U

[@FlyKage]

My crush said "imma say no because of 2 reason, she doesn't know me well, and she emotionally unavailable" I cried for 2 days and still can't get over here.

[@hmmok1329]

This coronavirus really screwed everything. I won’t see her for an indefinite amount of time, and I’m in this exact position. I have no idea what I should do.

[@soylalexe11]

Same man.

[@Legendarypancake]

Same

[@DAZASLOTS]

drop her and don’t contact her for about a month she obviously lost interest and sees you as a man that is of low value... you could’ve been too needy clingy or something that just killed the attraction. rebuild the attraction and she will eventually come back if you have either a special place in her heart she cares about you or she becomes curious again. use this time to reflect on urself and see what you did wrong and where she started to say those things in the relationship. remember you are the prize not the girl

[@growtgt]

@@DAZASLOTS ✅💪

[@michaelangelofabro2576]

Same. This self quarantine got us pretty bad

[@gsuyog3742]

thanks for support!! i finally got an idea what i should probably do.

[@johngonzalez4298]

Thank you Apollonia. I appreciate the video and advice ❤🥰

[@LionNezTV]

So I met this woman and we were dating for a month.. and everything was perfect and pure bliss.. and silly as I am I started to talk about a shared future, moving in together and I can just face palm myself reading this.. but that's who I am. It's all or nothing, and she got clearly under pressure and said she was not ready. So I told her exactly this and chose myself. But I never knew choosing myself would hurt so much. And I'm doubting myself every second if I did the right thing :( And I feel like I should have told her what I felt because you never know when it is the last time...