"Are Black Women Sabotaging Themselves on Dating Shows?"

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With the new hit series on Netflix, The Perfect Match, coming out, it has reminded many of the clear lack of diversity in dating shows primarily when it comes to black women. In this video, we will be discussing the problems among some popular shos like The Bachelor, The Perfect Match, and Too Hot to Handle. This video will also have an interview with a former Bachelor's contestant!
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[@ToniBryanneTV]

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[@hitmakerstudio6405]

Black's we need to Make our own show! But if you looking for white a companion I'm sorry for you! Bring back black love again!

[@RealLivesMatterREELiivesKill]

Thank you For the code Toni. I'm checking out right now ❤

[@cindywa2721]

Saw your thumbnail and was like "wow". She's beautiful. So I'll tell her. I'm a straight, Asian woman 😅

[@celsocosta880]

I absolutely like your vlogs and you are Very beautiful dark skin black women! But on the other hand i can see that you are confused because you don't stick with your natural hair!You need more sun 💪🏿💪🏿💪🏿

[@ToniBryanneTV]

@@celsocosta880 please don’t give me a compliment if you’re going to choose to follow it up with ignorance. That was very annoying.

[@audreylisamuranda2881]

As a black woman, why would I embarrass myself by going on a dating show knowing that I’m not wanted based on previous black woman’s experience?

[@patricblack1]

Clout maybe?

[@SaffariRose]

Publicly never hurts. For the woman selling luxury real estate for example, a tv reference is enough to both sway potential clients who are into that kind of 'celebrity' image as well as advertise herself and her services/business. Thousands, if not millions of people watch these shows.

[@Lady9T]

I THINK some of these black women might hope that they're not like the other black women, like they're more beautiful because outside the show men are all over them. Or they understand but they believed once the guys get to know them that'll change their minds. And they don't realize that it doesn't matter, they can be a 10 /10, but on these shows they'll usually take a back seat to 7 or 8 out of 10 lighter cast mates.

[@misguidedpearls7456]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@zukhanyemadubane]

as in like bro I just cringe everytime I see black women on these dating shows because I know they wont get picked like I just get bored sm

[@miarobinson968]

I couldn’t finish Perfect Match either 🙄 The issue is in casting. Don’t cast black women if you’re going to cast colorist men/men who don’t date black women

[@universal5313]

Exactly ugh stop casting BW and putting them in these humiliating situations

[@sandralawson4390]

But who is forcing bw to go embarrass themselves on tv ? Atp they should know what to expect on these . Why the need to be included on everything not meant for you ?

[@karenallen6557]

Agreed I couldn’t finish watching it ! Because of that smh

[@sundiva7642]

But do they actually ask them what they're attracted to before they go on the show??? They must if this keeps on happening right?

[@leannewheeler5351]

​@SunDiva they do vet people on married at first sight. They actually addressed that there weren't more Black couples because Black men who applied wanted White wives but not many White women wanted Black husband's. And most Black women who applied wanted Black husband. There video clip is on KZbin.

[@lizwithdavipbiz3580]

My boyfriend is white & when we were watching love is blind. The season with Lauren & Cameron we were both rooting for them. Black women please go where you’re appreciated/ treasured/ respected/ loved ect…

[@GhoulBunny]

Period. I love Lauren and Cameron he treats her like the queen she is 🙈

[@amiahh6157]

@@GhoulBunny LITERALLY I LOVE THEM SO MUCH it made me hopeful

[@triggered3625]

@@amiahh6157 hopeful that a wm will choose you? So why are y’all crying when blsck men go where he’s appreciated? Y’all secretly hoping that a non black men choose a black woman but expecting bm to bail y’all out for the sake of embarrassment but bm ain’t going for it. Bm are going where he’s appreciated and exercising his options.

[@Maryluvsu12]

@@triggered3625 I think your name fits because you really do seem triggered about this comment. I’m assuming she meant go with someone who loves and appreciates you regardless of race. It’s not a comment saying to go to a white or non-Black man but to go to a man who loves you and doesn’t tokenize you. Cameron treated her with love and respect from start to finish which isn’t always the case for Black women on these shows. Watching a show like that it wouldn’t have been surprising if after seeing she was Black he stopped liking her for that simple fact. I really think you just read this comment wrong lmao

[@triggered3625]

@@Maryluvsu12 Nall I read between the lines like most black men, I’m finally glad to see black men waking up. Sysbm and passport bros are the way of life.

[@strawberrylime33]

The thing is, it's acceptable to be colorist in the world. A black male celebrity would never get in serious trouble for trashing a black woman based on her looks. Many bm find it funny to trash dark skin and textured hair.

[@daviusdavis2537]

You have no control over what black men find attractive. Seek therapy.

[@apaddy5390]

BW accept it by voting with their dollars. They’ll still buy the concert tickets, comedy show tickets, movie tickets, etc.

[@Ban6ura]

@@apaddy5390 I agree. It’s very hard to get mad at these celebrities when the people they ridicule still support them. It also makes me lack pity for certain black women when they still ride for them then act surprised when egg gets thrown at their face. 😒

[@thomasmartin1588]

So you're going to ignore Black women bashing men for their dark skinned? And if you say it doesn't happen you're a liar. This is one of the reasons you're not taken seriously

[@leannewheeler5351]

A lot of Black women laugh too.

[@Ally-vp4ks]

As a black woman watching Perfect Match all I kept saying is “this is not our space”. These shows are simply making a color quota with us

[@come_on_barbie_123]

Yes, and getting a more diverse viewership at bw's expense!!!

[@e11esounds]

I’m not a black woman but this pattern has not gone unnoticed for me, and makes me feel really uncomfortable and sad. I can’t imagine how discouraging, offensive and frankly fucked up it would feel to see this time and time again as a woman of colour. Gross.

[@SweetUareDesi]

Lol scram

[@SweetUareDesi]

@Brown Kiss empathy, lol ok

[@MultiDiceman]

If they valued the attraction and validation of their own and not seek it outside view white people who they seem to have racial history issues with while simultaneously needed to be valued and accepted into their media would fix that

[@aprilclover2429]

@@SweetUareDesi , you give BW a bad name. WW expressed kindness toward us when most of the world views BW as less desirable and you reject her!

[@katgreer6113]

thanks girl...its sad but what can we do...:(

[@jasminerobertson9216]

We gotta stop stressing over these shows because 98% of them don’t even end up together. But it is shameful that we get treated like the ugly duckling ,viewed as ghetto or masculine when some of those ww on these shows are the most problematic and loud especially when drunk

[@ayak6317]

Like Kariselle yuck what a shank

[@Jul_ire]

yesss, I've noticed it so much.. I don't watch that much reality tv but enough to notice that black women are always so classy and elegant, and somehow they still have the hurtful stereotype

[@t.a.1337]

​@@ayak6317she's looks like she has diseases

[@dereknueveuno]

i hate black woman have to make videos and post about this stuff because it comes off as "please pick me!" yall are awesome, be great and let the men that like you come to you. But i get it yall kinda have to for young black girls that never that may watch and not see themselves getting picked. i just hate how it looks like begging to be loved

[@katgreer6113]

@@Jul_ire yup. we could be the most feminine, graceful, and prettiest princesses in the world and they would still call us "masculine" and "ghetto". It never ends girl.

[@mindon_3]

Dom’s pandering was so bad he became a caricature every time he said, “Yes, Queen” or “Strong black woman”. it was absurd, he didn’t need to do that while falling so quickly “inlove” with these white women.

[@traetrae11]

Dom was a complete clown

[@UnseathedDeity]

You can tell he was a pariah in his community and not too many black friends growing up so I guess that’s why it was hard for him. I don’t think he was doing it on purpose.

[@jeshurundaniel794]

@@UnseathedDeity I'm tired of all these Dom stans Pls that man doesn't want or like black women Enough

[@UnseathedDeity]

@@jeshurundaniel794 We never got to see him when he was single to be with a black women. Every time he was single he was loyal and rejected ALL* women which included Savannah and Ines. What he said was cringe but his mannerism and aesthetic just brings me to believe he just wasn’t around too many black people growing up.

[@Confettifun]

@@UnseathedDeity umm wasnt he dumped when he was on a date with that once dsbw(i forgot her name) when he went on his whole strong black woman BS??? Wasnt he single in the BEGINNING when he could have talked to anne Marie but ignored her. Dom is a self hating black guy, its pretty clear he thinks black women are meant to mule for him(as you are currently doing).

[@like.thebird]

THANK YOU for this video!! I'm a hoe for these shows and as a white female viewer, the colorism is clear as day. You're not biased, they are such STUNNING women being ignored and it's very upsetting to watch.

[@rumpelstiltskin4850]

WHY on Earth would it be very upsetting to watch grown ass people who are entitled to their own opinions and preferences express them? Are you suggesting that people (MEN) should PRETEND that black women are the most ...instead of the very LEAST desired by MOST men just to appease you and make you feel better? *G R O W U P!* 🙄

[@julias2855]

“I’m a hoe for these shows” That’s hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

[@forevercalirarebreed]

Speak!

[@rosanapalacios862]

​@@julias2855 that took me out 😂😂😂

[@underu5491]

@like.thebird I was a producer for several reality tv dating shows. The casting director and producers work together to create a false narrative. They will always make black women appear to be undesirable by hiring men who will actively allow us to create a storyline. Questions are asked during their self-tape submissions and INTVS if they date blk wm and if they will allow us to create their storyline. Sometimes my peers will purposely cast men who don’t date blk women. OVERALL, the men truly do love black women but the chosen ones have to be open to us “producing” them. Meaning we will feed them dialogue and create plot situations. And that’s when the vile demonic story will insert itself. What happens off camera is that more then likely the men are always trying to hookup with the blkwm but they aren’t always trying to be avail for those reasons instead are truly trying to date. However, sometimes the blkwm don’t mind being produced for 15secs. of what they believe is fame instead they are setup and will sadly face embarrassment.

[@h3tur]

preference or having a type means that you go for a certain look, for lack of better words, but it shouldn’t mean that you’re absolutely opposed to or revolted by the idea of going for someone outside of your “preference or type”

[@TinyyTinkerbell]

Exactly. I dont prefer large beards on men but i would still date a guy with a large beard. And wouldn’t make him feel like he is second best or last option either

[@h3tur]

@@TinyyTinkerbell exactlyyyy.

[@h3tur]

@@strawberrylime33 agreed.

[@princesschanel469]

@@thealchemist5653 they said men, learn how to read

[@thealchemist5653]

@@princesschanel469 You right my bad

[@HappyGrims]

Francesca literally finds a way to be in every Netflix dating show

[@shiyyymg]

And it’s so annoying bc SHES annoying

[@cniknik9863]

I am so happy that Lauren from Love is Blind season 1 is still married to Cameron to this day. No other couple has topped them so far. I wish for more women like her, women like Deepti, women like Natalie, and more finding proper love on these shows.

[@skzshnia2572]

Yessss👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽Clinton and Uche from “are you the one” they’ve been together since the show started and have a business together. I love it.☺️

[@LorenCognita]

It’s really not asking a lot to request producers vet that the cast they pick are attracted to varying races, sizes, etc. If they want these shows to be inclusive then they need to cast inclusive people. It’s not rocket science. Thank you for saving me from wasting my time because I was just about to start watching some of these shows on Netflix lol ❤

[@monalisa9636]

Most people date within their own race which makes it hard to get around. A handsome white man is mainly going to date his own race. It’s not bad. It’s just want people find attractive

[@UniqueDesigner97]

@@monalisa9636 I understand what you're saying and you make a valid point, but that doesn't explain why even the Black men don't date Black women either.

[@bolu101]

@@monalisa9636 inclusive people date any type of race not only their race so your reply isn’t relevant to the initial comment

[@aprilclover2429]

It’s hard for them to find BM who don’t prefer WW. Real talk.

[@shutuplove]

You would think

[@GabimaruSano]

I avoid these shows like the plague because of this. In the UK, we’re obsessed with Love Island…but I refuse to watch it because I already know how we’re treated on these shows!! Why would I entertain the bs when it constantly depicts us as undesirable. Love the video 💜

[@rosethompson1737]

Same 🇬🇧💔

[@MsUchenna12]

Truth

[@zane101]

The amount of bullying that the one black girl this season of loveisland got is insane I don’t think I’ll be able to watch any up coming LI

[@daisyslovebot]

@@zane101 what girl?

[@NIKEFOOTBALLER6]

@@daisyslovebot I think she’s talking about Tanya

[@heathermartinez2954]

To be fair. Colony was too grown for anyone on that show. She was way too good. She had an idea of what she wanted, and no one would have been able to step up to the plate

[@rociocastillo6611]

This issue is also VERY present in Love Island UK. They rarely have black women on the show, but when they do they're drop-dead gorgeous yet have no one wanting to couple up with them. It's so infuriating like how are they ignoring these beautiful women ???

[@jtm881]

This has to be my third time commenting this under this video, but this is so true! I've never watched it before and watched the winter version to see if I would be proven wrong...I couldn't finish it because I disliked it so much. The worst bit for me is when Tanya (the one original female black cast member) literally had no boys step up to be in a couple with her at the beginning. That was all I needed to know🤦‍♀️

[@StylishGirl79]

danika

[@xxxmelissatacionxxx]

​@@jtm881 Seeing Tanya, the only black woman on the show, not have anyone interested in her apart from like 1-2 black men was painful.

[@claire-dx1nw]

@@jtm881 ​ the amount that happens is so upsetting. It seems like the only guys interested in the dark skinned black women or the black women with ethnic features are black men. In the last season they had the audience pair the couples up to start, and it paired the black women with black men. There was another season where a contestant refused to correctly pronounce Yewande (a black woman’s name) right, and asked to refer to her by a different name. The black women (Yewande, Kaz, Samira, etc.) are often picked last.

[@amdl270]

It’s this societal thing that blonde women are the ultimate and most acceptable/ least controversial partner to choose on the show. Even white brunettes and red heads get less attention and people of color are treated like they’re not desirable. It’s infuriating. It’s like men don’t want to stir the pot with who they like.

[@tullythebully]

Off topic: Your whole aesthetic is everything. Make up, hair, outfit. So top tier ✨

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Omg thank you beautiful!!!❤️

[@moderna73]

I didn’t even have to see Chase’s parents to know he was half black half white. I don’t have to see his parents to guess which parent is in which racial group based on the way he acts hell I already know.

[@sunflowerrose]

Does he really wear blue contacts lenses 😂

[@dexxhax12345]

White mama Black daddy for sure!

[@shutuplove]

lol ok

[@thecoolintroverttv8381]

True!😂

[@ViennA2891]

​​@@dexxhax12345 So if his mom's white maybe that's the reason he likes ww...Idk Isn't that often what bw say to bm dating outside of their race ('ur moms blk')

[@bugshavehearts]

I don't even watch todays dating shows, the 2000's dating shows have me in a choke hold. They have all the drama, personality's, and best of all scripted but we couldn't tell because it was so new to us. I know it was a crazier time, but i wish we could go back to that chaos

[@YASSTHEEDOLL]

Literally rewatching flavor of love on Tubi 😂😂

[@katlynnbell]

There not even better with race

[@NIKEFOOTBALLER6]

Flavor of Love is the best dating show hands down.

[@burni988]

The only dating show that I still watch and love every season is MAFS Australia.

[@Zazawestbrooke]

Yeeessssss my favorite was a Nexxt ❤❤ or the one where the parents picked their kids partners loool the current bf/gfs reactions were G O L D E N

[@jhamilton6950]

I don’t think the producers understand how much damage they are doing to young people’s thought processes about what is attractive. They used to talk about how representation on magazines and ads affected people’s minds when I was younger but this level of subliminal and sometimes blatant messaging in a “reality” show is so much worse

[@Maggiebenjee]

Lmao you don't think they understand? They don't care!

[@ak-ww1tk]

Lmao seriously? They know, they just don't care. If everyone in this comment section has noticed this you think they haven't? Come on. At best they don't care, at worst it's deliberate to make black women look inferior. Black women should stop setting themselves up to be humiliated. They don't pick men who want black women. It's deliberate. Just don't go.

[@littleflor2975]

They know full well what they are doing.

[@JulianSteve]

I have three problems with these types of shows: 1. The lack of diversity when it comes to different body types. These fit bodies are not proper representation of what real people look like day to day. 2. The Black and mixed with Black men lusting over White/non-black women. It’s wild and disappointing. 3. These show runners do a bad job at choosing unbiased candidates. I know folks have their “preferences” (hate the word)… I believe if you exclude people from your race, culture, or anything in between, I have no respect for you💯 Overall, great video, Toni. I appreciate the Jessie Woo, and special guest parts of this video💯

[@damnkevindeaderthanamf3297]

#2 have truth in it tho.....

[@DeLaTr0ll]

Ugh I dislike the term “preference”. It’s code for bigot nowadays.

[@rumpelstiltskin4850]

HOW exactly is it *wild* and/or "disappointing" to see "bIack men" ...or ANY other grown ass men doing EXACTLY what they are _SUPPOSED_ to do on a reality show like this! 🤔 They are _supposed_ to go for what THEY want, choose and prefer! They are NOT there to cater to YOUR issues or innate *INSECURITY* little man! (You sound like one of these W0MEN!) 😖

[@TinyyTinkerbell]

I dislike that word too officially. And every word everyone has been using wrongly

[@ochacal7794]

lack of diversity in bodies? Do you really think if you mix a fit women with a fat women men or women who are fit will choose the fat women? really? Unless everybody is fat nobody will choose the fat person

[@SoloCityTravels]

I understand preferences but also sometimes a “preference” is internalized racism and self-hate

[@rigelb9025]

Clearly, you don't understand preferences. A preference is something (or someone) you prefer. Plain and simple. You can try and rationalize your preferences all you want, but at the end of the day, you and you alone will know who & what you prefer, and even you won't be able to convince yourself not to, because of some ideological imperative you're meant to project to the outside world.

[@musicnextchapter5034]

I'm a black man! The problem is not the black woman beauty, cause black women are crazy beautiful to me! The problem is the ATTITUDE (loud, masculine, the way she treats short, lacking, balding, BROKE, ugly men she doesn't like, ratchet attire & attitude, etc.) Compared to Other races (because women from other races have attitude but black women attitude is way worse) Even if women from other races have ATTITUDE, not only it's way less, but they give you more in terms of femininity, treating you like a man, etc. They have way more respect to you with a soft energy than black women The other point is that the opposite of Love is not Hate, it's Indifference!! Black men on tiktok that complain about black women, still love black women! They are just frustrated about black women, and want them to change. If they didn't like black women, they wouldn't talk about them at all, they would just date other races and keep quiet

[@rigelb9025]

@@musicnextchapter5034 Great point. Thanks for your input.

[@passivepanda3656]

I would love for show like black women competing for who's project and businesses will be financed, or shows where we see black women healing and thriving. This reality tv's are so useless and they ridicule us each and every day. This needs to stop.

[@ToniBryanneTV]

We did with Selling Tampa, but all they did was have those women fight and be messy whole time these girls were actually selling million dollar homes. They showed more fighting than selling though.

[@passivepanda3656]

@@ToniBryanneTV exactly. Honestly I was hoping for more. I was hoping for this TV reality to show how talented this women are. Each one of them added something because of their personality. But rather than that they turned it into a cat fight, almost a bougie version of love and hip hop.

[@rae08]

💯💯💯

[@larettabrown8037]

@@ToniBryanneTV and then it didn't even get renewed for a second season smh

[@RC-fe9py]

Meanwhile A.I. is taking over the 🌎. BW will be begging for an OF account just to eat soon. Buncha fools.....

[@Thatcaramelchic]

This reminds me of the show being Mary Jane when she said, black women aren’t ugly we are just invisible. Are the sad truth is I don’t think any other race of women continually hast to ask themselves if the men of their own race and men of other races even see you as a option

[@Maggiebenjee]

And that's the part bw don't want to talk about. That's why this "go where you are loved/appreciated" is nonsense. Appreciated and loved women wouldn't have these issues in the first place.

[@Original-Michiko]

@@Maggiebenjee Can you explain how that’s nonsense? Do you think there really is nowhere that black women can individually go to be loved and appreciated?

[@aprilclover2429]

@@Original-Michiko many BW have their heads buried in the sand! Decades ago, I heard from BW that BM didn’t really like WW, it was just that WW were after them! You can’t change a situation unless you face it. No other race of women is rejected by their own men and others to the degree that BW are. We need to face the truth.

[@vievie2713]

As an African woman thas recently migrated to the states, I can tell you this is a purely Western problem.

[@aprilclover2429]

@@vievie2713 , how are things elsewhere?

[@mimiandy1683]

In my opinion, these shows are really for white women. These shows are supposed to be ego boosts for them. Reminders that let them know that they will always be the most desired.

[@universal5313]

Right I just wish BW would stop going to these shows

[@mimiandy1683]

@@universal5313 I understand why black women go these shows and I know why they have their supporters. But I just wish that these women fully understand what they're getting themselves into.

[@iceprincess825]

Exactly this show is not for black people.

[@LisePlansandJournals]

🎯

[@LisePlansandJournals]

This. This about sums it up.

[@zazalula9064]

Deandra was so right about how they need to pick people that are more open with their dating preferences. Especially on shows that end in marriage. Why does Cameron and Lauren have to be a one off?

[@kurokaizen1889]

Because a majority of White women literally just don't like Black women. Same way a majority of Black men don't care about White women outside of sex. They'll sleep with you (we're men) but marriage is a different story. For me to marry a white woman she'd have to be truly exceptional like miraculously exceptional because she's not Black.

[@moustik31]

It's probably an accident, I bet the producers were as surprised as the rest of us by his clear attraction to Lauren.

[@rue3725]

I'm pretty sure they lie just to get on the show.

[@iceprincess825]

I think these guys are basically lying by saying they are open to dating all women, but in fact aren’t interested. They are just trying to get on the show.

[@kaniahankston4310]

Watching the perfect match was so painful! Black women were repeatedly ignored or used as pawns to get other women. All of them were absolutely beautiful but we’re treated so differently. It made me sad.

[@rediettadesse2828]

It's thier loss and ignorance , but I think the shows are doing some programming or something,

[@2berrydelicious]

For me the "American" ones were not it.

[@Dani511.]

That’s why I love the reality show “Are You The One” so much the black people are never left out!

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Yesss this new season has been amazing with inclusivity like i’m actually shocked😭

[@tokyo204]

@@ToniBryanneTV i Hope you will talk about it on your channel, I love watching this show

[@Aquagirl-in6wr]

As an African woman I just have a question, do black people have to be involved in everything? Especially in spaces where people just tolerate you, but don't necessarily want you? It's really painful to watch these shows and see how black women are treated. The casting directors can't go asking every single person whether they like black women or not? That's so time consuming. Black women, go where you're loved, not tolerated. We can't be liked or accepted everywhere it's just part of life.

[@lemonjuiceproduction2411]

Exactly..I think we should create our own shows of love interest...and a few have been made but they didn't receive hype such as another old show about black women seeking love in Rome Italy, which they were successful with and went on dates with Italian men...but most people don't know this show much

[@jasminerobertson9216]

@@lemonjuiceproduction2411 I agree but you know what happens when we create our own

[@ayak6317]

Go where we are loved? We are not loved anywhere. Though I agree we should stop going on these shows. Even if we flipped it and created a show there whites were the minority the few whites would still be selected first by the black white and other men on the show. This is just the world we’re in and it’s tiring AF

[@Aquagirl-in6wr]

@@jasminerobertson9216 what happens?

[@Aquagirl-in6wr]

@@ayak6317 yes I agree, it is tiring. But black people should create their own shows and really support one another. We rarely hear Indians, Chinese, arabs etc..complaining about wanting to be included, yet they have large populations living in the US. Those races watch their own shows and do things within their communities and support each other. This is what black people need to do. Instead of constantly complaining about wanting to be included in spaces that don't really want them.

[@alanekek7033]

I’m honestly getting tired of these conversations. This might be reality for black women and it is what it is. Stop going on these shows pls, I’m a black woman and it’s very embarrassing. Black women should only occupy spaces where we are wanted, not to fill some bs diversity quota. If every man wants a ww it really is what it is. Clearly our achievements don’t mean ish and our beauty is overlooked.

[@haryel5058]

exactly. Do something with your life and the right man will come. And if not , you did something with your life

[@ClayMastah344]

THANK YOU

[@danayi_]

💯 It’s sad that BW want to force people to pick them. It’s natural to like what you’re familiar with, let’s normalise that please. Interracial dating is not for everyone so let’s go where we’re appreciated.

[@thetruesoulofanaquarius9302]

This tho 💯❤️ it is just getting cringy and pathetic now. I' am a darkskinned BW and I have never been so desperate/chasing behind a man. It is never that serious and to be honest people especially men feel some type of way when you aren't a desperate BW.

[@Grendygirl]

too hot to handle is cringe, Melinda and Rhonda was fighting for men that don't even want them

[@sunflowerrose]

Michelle Young is biracial as well so its only Rachel who is full black on the bachelor franchise. But I think the new bachelorette 2023 is black and she is stunning

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Yes, I was bamboozled by the internet 😭

[@EclecticGiraffe]

LOL I paused at that too 😭 I was like fully black where?? That woman has a whole white mom 😭

[@kirsten_305]

All black dads and non-white moms too. At least Rachel was a really good bachelorette. So when they got it right they did it well.

[@kurokaizen1889]

​@@kirsten_305 Sounds like you'd like the mom to be Black and the dad White as then you wouldn't have a problem with it huh

[@kirsten_305]

@@kurokaizen1889 no it’s an observation and a trend.

[@KDH0408]

Flavor of love was the only blk dating show I’ve seen & ofc we all loved it, but I’d wanna see one that doesn’t present us in a “ratchet” light

[@dashiajames1882]

Flavor of love wasn't the only show that had about a full group of blk women. Try ANTM there was alot of blk contestants.

[@justinebailey5333]

Right

[@BamPowBoom11]

@@dashiajames1882 you missed the ENTIRE point. Where women going on ANTM to date Tyra Banks?! NO.. You point means nothing here.

[@prettykitty5416]

@@dashiajames1882 antm was NOT a dating show 🤡

[@nikkiq5124]

"The Courtship" shows better black women dating representation!

[@ClayMastah344]

I understand blaming the producers but honestly the show reflected me and some other women’s dating experience. No, not ALL black women deal with that, several of us are shown by society to be desirable, I’m just saying it’s not surprising or new. Having to go in on showrunners to find “men who like black women” is almost an insult in of itself because generally speaking, men like women PERIOD. I don’t see any other poc group of women have to emphasize this the way I’ve seen bw do. To have to treat yourself as an exception that needs more careful selection and curating just to attain desirability can degrade self esteem just as much as not being picked in these shows.

[@Blissedx]

🙌🙌🙌. This comment is the mindset to have ❤. I totally agree.

[@elizagoc4569]

THIS and the fact that many people are like: omg I’m so disappointed, black men are swooning over white women. My goodness, isn’t this racist? Attraction is attraction, people are people and how is it fair to get angry at someone for liking someone whose skin is not a certain color. Now that’s closing yourself for other races. That’s just ridiculous.

[@Imxel21]

@@melc4308you don’t see south asians begging because you’re not in south asian spaces. They especially DARK SKIN south asian women have a lot of the same issues

[@lillybilly9954]

I think black women should stay off the shows. I think one thing to remember is that these people tend to be influencers. I think that this is an accurate reflection of black men’s anti blackness and it’s really no surprise. There have been interviews with producers of these shows who talk about the difficulty of matching black women because they prefer black men while black men specifically request non black women. Don’t go on those shows. It is very cringey.

[@ishamachadobracamonte4772]

I have to say, it is very upsetting to see that shows go out of their way to cast people that are carbon copies of each other. I'm peruvian, and let me tell you, less than 10% of the population looks like Flavia, not only because she is completely modified (both esthetically and surgecaly), but also because that is not how most of us look. Like in any country, we have tons of looks but mostly darker hair and olive skin tones. Also DEFINETLY not "spicy latinas" like US media is always trying to portray us to be, it's getting tired tbh

[@sbfairy]

This is a good point. Even woc on these shows must be white presenting or closely fit the European standard. If they don’t then they have to play into stereotypes to get noticed. Like you said, the spicy Latina. Even then they rarely get picked.

[@Krazyerd]

As an Asian man, I feel like media has to do better in portraying Asian men and Black women. Btw any black women here date Asian men?

[@EbonyHoopGyal]

It is a problem because TV has a major influence on human interaction. This continuing to be the standard results in us BW never being picked as genuine partners IRL. It is really hurtful. I feel like US marketing/media execs just truly don’t care about us or our feelings, and they never will. Oh well 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@hild-demongoddess7498]

They do it on purpose. They know withought the social programming and manipulation we are the most desirable. Even historically. We look the best naturally, best genetics, and we age the best. They have to program people to think we are ugly or undesirable. It keeps white supremacy in place.

[@ClayMastah344]

They don’t and won’t. It pays to have another group on the “bottom”. Lowering our value helps to elevate theirs on a global scale. That’s all they care about.

[@ccsleepy6295]

I feel like it may be the opposite, the racism embedded in our everyday lives in the US translates to racist interactions on micro-scales like a dating show. But I agree it is incredibly harmful to show such blatant racism on popular shows.

[@rediettadesse2828]

I think it's done on purpose

[@hild-demongoddess7498]

@@rediettadesse2828 definitely

[@jadaaarr]

Honestly I noticed a lot of this treatment when I was watching love island UK with my friends in 2017 it was obvious every single season that we get picked last no matter what the shade is, i knew it was real bad when even biracial girls were getting treated poorly. I honestly wish black women would stop going on these shows because i really think they select men who only like/lust after only white women, because if even the white 'brunettes' are having trouble getting selected first or taken serious I think we should know the rest of the season will be hard for us. Truly I think they bring BW on to embarrass us they know they select men who don't like us.

[@jtm881]

Literally- love island is a sham. I've never watched love island before, but I tried to this year just to see if I would be proven wrong...I didn't even finish it😂

[@ginaluv7228]

Don’t think it’s the truth , that’s exactly what they are doing . Why would a system that was made against black people make black women the desirable women . It’s mean but it’s just realty and the sooner you wake up to it, it won’t be as hurtful because at the end of the day being chosen get you perks but it’s not the end of the world. The best validation is internally ❤

[@zazalula9064]

Omds! You're so right!! They are always putting black women with men of all colours who don't like black women. It is so annoying.

[@seratia123]

I never thought that anyone is going to these shows to really pick a husband. It always seemed like more of self promotion.

[@christinakorz1773]

Michelle Young is biracial. Her mother is white. Thank you for this video! Literally what you said in this video is exactly how I felt watching these shows

[@TishaPisha]

Choosing not to date a group isn't preference, it's exclusion. Preference means you prefer other but are still open to the opposite. I prefer homemade vanilla, but I'll still eat butter pecan. Choosing not to date a BW as a BM is misogynoir/self hatred. Imagine belonging to a group and having to question whether the men in your group are attracted to your skin. Chile...

[@LisePlansandJournals]

Black men use tht ‘preference’ word as a cop out and black women sadly believe them. To prefer something means you like and will have either one. That’s not what they exhibit. They exhibit tht they hate blackness. Clearly, even theirs. I just wish black men would say they wish they were white men and leave black women alone. I also wish black women would stop allowing themselves to be tokens on these shows.

[@mnkwazi]

@TishaPisha you probably can't compete.

[@55CINCO55]

You should try to explain this to Asian women/most women of color lol...

[@kellyflynn8635]

As a white woman who watched perfect match (and a few other of these shows) totally agree with this take. SPECIFICALLY Colony was literally perfect. I'm just like her but I'm white. It's so wrong how they treated her but also people are allowed to have preference but like SHE WAS SO FINE and strong and the only one (along with anne sophie) that KNEW their worth and standards. They were just great gals and tbh none of those men deserved them but stillllll. like see the value mennnnn

[@Hintedbymarina]

Nothing surprises me about the outcome of shows like this when it comes to black women which is why I seldom tune in. It isn't meant to uplift the black female gaze. The ONLY one that I actually watched in it's entirety that I enjoyed was the season of the bachelorette with Rachel Lindsey...it was so nice to actually see a mono-racial black woman being centered and watching men of ALL races exclusively vying for her attention. There hasn't been a season like her's ever since so really, I don't watch. And why would I? I already know how the formula of the show will be, even when they cast men who look like me so I'm good.

[@kurokaizen1889]

So that's what y'all want. The attention of ALL men. Not just YOUR own men. The quiet part is finally being said out loud at least.

[@PrincessYonna1]

@@kurokaizen1889 bro hush when white women go on the show for the same thing . Even black men. But issa problem when black women seek it?

[@Randomthings...2.0]

​@@kurokaizen1889YES,in the same way white women get attention from everyone. The Black women on the show not only were they elegant, beautiful, well behaved but were also very independent so why not get the same attention 😮‍💨

[@madmann1000]

I seen this idea elsewhere, but I agree with the idea of making potential contestants show pictures of the last 3 to 5 people they dated or were in a relationship with. It’s very easy to walk into casting and be like “yeah, I like all types of women”, but then get on the show and ending up fighting over the same 2 to 3 white women every other man on the show is vying for

[@Alexandtheworld919]

If we’re being honest those white women didn’t really want those black men either. They only picked them because there weren’t better options and they wanted to stay in the house. This was proven by how Georgia treat Dom after the show was over and how Francesca left Dom for Damian when Damian just isn’t attractive. Unfortunately for some the backlash of not getting picked only seems to hit black women the hardest. Even if these men are open to dating other races if their own women or ideal preference are an option i think those men will always chose someone other than us. I think it just reinforces white beauty standards over and over again.

[@joepatrick3092]

But black men don’t cry about it tho. We all know white people are the most desirable race male and female so why complain?😅

[@Noblesavage31]

Nope I like white women asian any race and I’m a black man and only have dated black women but I still have a choice I like and a certain look no matter what color

[@sundiva7642]

Honestly as a black woman there are certain shows I'll never go on. And as a woman there are some shows and "podcasts" I'll never go on

[@briantbmoth6472]

Same.

[@littlenia]

Can't get enough of her😭💕

[@Animeyani991]

Me neither! ♥️

[@RealLivesMatterREELiivesKill]

Same I love her 💕

[@ToniBryanneTV]

I literally love you guys like you don’t even understand 🥹❤️

[@catsy88]

Great video! I would be fine not seeing black women on these shows cause they never get a fair shot.

[@ToniBryanneTV]

No but honestly. Just don’t put them in the shows at all.

[@layti8261]

Wheww the braids part is so true, I got them and then I started getting nervous about the job interviews I had coming up 😢

[@ToniBryanneTV]

I loved the honesty and vulnerability in reference to getting braids

[@sarahdanielle12]

how did the interview go? 🥺

[@JennyLl94]

I live in London and recently started getting braids done all the time as I went back natural in 2019. So most of my recent job interviews were done with braids , at first I was a bit nervous but it actually never was an issue. I even took my corporate picture (which I use on LinkedIn) in braids and I received so many compliments from different directors! So all that to say that I think we should just wear them proudly with confidence!

[@layti8261]

@@sarahdanielle12 it actually went really well I don’t even think they noticed ( I had it back in a bun and it was a panel of all men so 🤷🏾‍♀️😂) and the next day I got an offer

[@layti8261]

@@JennyLl94 agreed! I think we may get in our own heads (especially in the corporate world) more than we realize

[@sadinahrafael9700]

alot of other poc do not fight to go to places they are not wanted ... maybe we should learn from that.

[@avianalaureano8264]

Honestly I would never go on a dating show especially not one where I would have to compete against other women for a man cause nobody is gonna call me a strong black woman yall not gonna pay me dust

[@Salimah45]

I don’t watch reality shows period. It’s clear that we as Black women are not loved or appreciated by BM, but I will say I’m married to a gorgeous, loving, God-fearing BM. He’s the exception. I love him, he loves me, he protects me and he ALWAYS tells me I’m beautiful. But back to these shows: they go out of their way to make BW look bad and it’s working against us in real life

[@kurokaizen1889]

He's literally not "the exception" though. A majority of Black men are married to Black women. A majority of Black men are also single and childless which is contrary to the narrative that is pushed about them. If even you a Black woman married to a Black man are this delusional then what do you expect for us "exceptional" Black men to do? Because I don't want women who clearly harbour hate for or towards me.

[@elisahussain2404]

so glad you talked about this! i remember watching perfect match and having my jaw on the floor. i LOVED selling tampa, and the fact that netflix canceled the show + how anne-sophie and colony were treated says a lot about the platform….

[@TaraJ950]

They are just not for that kind of reality tv. That one black girl that ended up with Bartise was shallow and acting trashy like other white girls and that's why she got picked but well rounded educated and successful girls didn't. It's a shallow superficial dating show and of course that shallow and superficial people aka influencers will thrive in that environment opposed to quality educated hard working ones.

[@Neco2684]

NOPE, a Black dating show would never work! Have you ever seen that interview of the Black pastor from Married at First Sight? He said that the issue with dating shows for specifically Black WOMEN is that, Black men wanted to date every race except Black and Black women only wanted Black men. Look it up, there's a video on it

[@triggered3625]

Not true but I get it.

[@Imetwurld_]

Lol . I'm a black woman that dosent want to date only black man .. he should speak for the ones he heard it from .

[@Yamalie]

We black women need to stop playing in to the a loyalty troop when it comes to black men I believe this is one factor that is really killing our representation as desirable. we are not making these men compete for us, so therefore every other men think we are low in the totem pole, a pond to be play with. especially black man I’m sick and tired of it

[@imanigordon6803]

Black men didn’t make these shows

[@joepatrick3092]

Of course let’s blame the black men for Brad not founding us attractive 😂

[@Maggiebenjee]

Nonbm aren't interested either. This wouldn't need to be a topic if they were, now would it?!

[@jeffrey-Epstein00]

As if non bm men are picking y'all too 😂😂 every season on love island there's a wm rejecting a bw lol

[@55CINCO55]

As a Hispanic man, I can say that Black women are the least "loyal" race of women, lol. There is a direct correlation with how dark a woman is and how "loyal" they are, speaking from my experience.

[@veevee999]

Melinda got a lot of attention on too hot to handle but I think it’s because she had a very open personality and also didn’t limit herself to just the black men on the show.

[@musicnextchapter5034]

I'm a black man! The problem is not the black woman beauty, cause black women are crazy beautiful to me! The problem is the ATTITUDE (loud, masculine, the way she treats short, lacking, balding, BROKE, ugly men she doesn't like, ratchet attire & attitude, etc.) Compared to Other races (because women from other races have attitude but black women attitude is way worse) Even if women from other races have ATTITUDE, not only it's way less, but they give you more in terms of femininity, treating you like a man, etc. They have way more respect to you with a soft energy than black women The other point is that the opposite of Love is not Hate, it's Indifference!! Black men on tiktok that complain about black women, still love black women! They are just frustrated about black women, and want them to change. If they didn't like black women, they wouldn't talk about them at all, they would just date other races and keep quiet

[@isahmarie3119]

@@musicnextchapter5034 you’re the problem and the reason why this video was made

[@elisejackson2854]

Mel was gorgeous

[@Chi_di]

I mean she’s also a model so looks have something to do with a lot

[@zakirahkw]

I’m soooo glad you mentioned the Bachelor. It’s often left out of conversations like these but it’s one of the worst ones to do this stuff 😭😭😭

[@zakirahkw]

Not to mention Matt had NOTHING to do with the franchise, when there were sooo many other options

[@musicnextchapter5034]

I'm a black man! The problem is not the black woman beauty, cause black women are crazy beautiful to me! The problem is the ATTITUDE (loud, masculine, the way she treats short, lacking, balding, BROKE, ugly men she doesn't like, ratchet attire & attitude, etc.) Compared to Other races (because women from other races have attitude but black women attitude is way worse) Even if women from other races have ATTITUDE, not only it's way less, but they give you more in terms of femininity, treating you like a man, etc. They have way more respect to you with a soft energy than black women The other point is that the opposite of Love is not Hate, it's Indifference!! Black men on tiktok that complain about black women, still love black women! They are just frustrated about black women, and want them to change. If they didn't like black women, they wouldn't talk about them at all, they would just date other races and keep quiet

[@Imxel21]

@@musicnextchapter5034 yet black men are more violent, loud and less educated. Hush

[@LunaG123]

I don’t watch the bachelor it’s not relatable even for me and I find it boring as hell but I did watch the netflix shows ..I’m white and it was so uncomfortable and OBVIOUS that the black woman on the perfect match were just added as a quota so I can’t imagine being a black woman watching that (or being in it) and how disrespected they must feel… what was even the point of embarrassing and wasting their time on the show if the producers know they didn’t put a single man on that show who’s type didn’t go further than Francesca. Pathetic and tbh Anne-Sophie and Colony were too good to be on the show anyway. They are smart woman who’s careers you can look up to outside of social media…Francesca and the other girls aren’t they waited tables before they got on reality tv. I personally don’t find that admirable.

[@Kloves818]

Also an important note to mention is they will cast the average everyday white man/woman for these dating shows. Someone that still lives with their parents (Bachelor Peter) or is a 23-yr old with a nanny (Corinne from the bachelor) or is fresh out of college etc. MEANWHILE black contestants will have notable backgrounds in an established career (Bachelorette Rachel)/Colony (Perfect Match). , founding a non-profit organization (Bachelor Matt James), etc. It really pushes the idea that you have to be black and excellent to be considered equal to white and average.

[@pixiestxNyomouf]

Maggie on Matt James season of the bachelor was in Pharmacy school and she was a beacon of sunlight, but never got the time of day

[@matisseedgaryoshihara5625]

I'm so glad this is being brought up. I was watching Rock of Love two years ago (like the Bachelor, but it's literally Brett Michaels from Poison as the "bachelor") and literally every black girl was mistreated. I don't even think there were more than two black women total. No one had the guts to address it, because it was the 2000s, but it made me so sick to my stomach. One girl got called "classless" because she got fed up from being bullied by other girls. I'm not gonna lie, the way it was produced, like, every single woman on there had some kind of bad streak and ended up saying nasty things. But it really says something when the black girls get kicked off first and essentially condescended towards for not being the pretty, dainty white women that these aging rock stars exclusively pine for.

[@jenbunny1984]

I remember that show!! Yes indeed! Just horrible.

[@iceprincess825]

That was another show for white people. They can’t say it outright like they did in the 50s. We have to learn to read the room.

[@damnkevindeaderthanamf3297]

Black women, idc. You guys are the most beautiful imo. Ignore these idiots. U have no business trynna be on clown ish like this. Wear your crown and.....date out

[@hild-demongoddess7498]

Exactly. They do it on purpose. Everyone knows we are the most desirable. They can see it.

[@LifeOfKells]

I LOVE Deondras interview! Her personality just seems so genuine❤️

[@YesLauraIam]

Love the commentary…! 1. More REAL racial diversity is needed 2. Don’t cast for shows that don’t promote your values and morals 3. It’s soooo many black men (maybe not the majority) that date and love black women….it’s better to just gravitate to them instead of those who are not like minded. Thanks for bringing awareness!

[@melanatedthinking]

#3 I would be careful claiming that many black men LOVE black women. Especially in the US, you can’t have absentee fathers of upwards of 80%. Sure, they will lay down with you but Love is an action. Also, black men date out at the highest rate compared to all groups of men.

[@Lovelifeandmoney638]

Stop lying to yourself and others

[@jeshurundaniel794]

@@melanatedthinking exactlyyy sis Let's stop the lies

[@Aura-Awakened]

@@melanatedthinking right! It’s always BW trying to tell themselves how much BM love them. Meanwhile, BM are no where to be found in conversations like this because they really don’t care at all

[@UnseathedDeity]

@@melanatedthinking there’s billions of people in this world, perception is often skewed, nobody knows everything,it’s perceived knowledge which can be faulty. A lot of these broken homes are created due to both parties wanting to have unprotected sex,most of these people aren’t even in relationships. And that last part isn’t correct,black men don’t date out the most I believe that belongs to Hispanics.

[@TheresaVibess]

When I found out this entire show was filmed in the span of 2-3 weeks I fell out cause what?? Not Dom falling in and out then back in love THAT quick 💀🤣

[@fma6387]

I felt the bachelor ! They had some gorgeous black women with sweet personality never got any attention and always got eliminated smh

[@pixiestxNyomouf]

DeAndrea was always so stunning to me. Watched BIP for her. Peter, Chase and Ed are fools

[@nudgiebutters]

I just had to tell you how much I enjoy your videos. The topics chosen and the realness you bring, is so refreshing. Thank you for what you do!😊

[@duniadadi2100]

Can we stop begging for ppl to like us…. It looks so desperate at this point. Like who likes you ladies, let’s stop constantly painting ourselves crying for validation from black men and mainstream media…it’s so tiring 🙄

[@universal5313]

We need to collectively agree to stop going on these shows...

[@Maggiebenjee]

The lack of dignity in bw is abhorrent

[@eternityriley1833]

Is it begging to be like or wanting to be seen? It's human nature to WANT to be desired whether you're male, female, young, old, dark, light, fat, skinny...no one wants to be seen as undesirable and unworthy of love, especially if it's an attribute out of a person's control. At least some ppl can find some comfort or acceptance within their own community, but a lot of Black women (especially dark skin bw) don't feel like they can even find it there, whether from experience or from the outside's influence on them. I mean let's not sugarcoat it, most of the world & media says we're loud, ugly, undesirable, uncontrollable, attitudy, ghetto/ratchet, dirty etc. etc. etc. After a while it wears you down. So, I don't think speaking out about it is the issue...the 'issue' is the issue. If we (black women) keep talking about it amongst ourselves, what's going to change about it? Not to say we can't get our lives together & focus on being the best versions of ourselves, but a lot of bw face this problem, and it's being amplified in the media whether we decide to watch or not 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@denisewest3858]

Thank you for talking about these important issues. It seems these producers of these shows are co-signing racism and colourism who are equally disgusting. I really feel bad for so many of these beautiful sisters who go on these shows just to be rejected by men who do not deserve their attention. We as BP really gotta stop saying " preference " is OK, when it comes to BM rejecting BW and uplifting WW purely based on their skin colour. This is NOT OK. This will never be acceptable, and we should stop trying to normalise this behaviour. Colourism is the friend of white supremacy and racism and should be treated as such. How on earth can you as a BM say your "preference " is anything that is non black. WTF. It's crazy. We, as BW, gotta stop allowing these pathetic idiots to get under our skin and try to make us feel less then because of their own insecurities and lack of self-worth. These BM are lost and are in a sunken place with a slave mind mentality. It's not BW who has a problem. It's these fools. I really think we, as viewers, need to boycott these shows and create our own. I hate to see so many beautiful BW treated this way. The other women they choose are not even in the same league, physically or mentally. Our sisters are too good for this nonsense.

[@damnkevindeaderthanamf3297]

SYSBW= SAVE YOURSELF BLACK WOMEN The only reason these idiots say such and feel comfy because they know there's a community of women(black women) who won't give any male competitions! They know how black women race loyal and use it against u! DATE OUT AND COMPARE THEM TO OTHER MEN!

[@Grendygirl]

its not the producers fault, the BM on these shows not interested, and BW typically go for BM, have you seen too hot to handle? Melinda and Rhonda was cringe, they fighting for men that don't even want them.

[@MultiDiceman]

@@Grendygirl BS Black men on the shows usually always go for the Black women. Its the Black women and the more so the BW viewers who need white men's validation. Stop putting blame on your second option when non BM prefer their own

[@Maggiebenjee]

​@@Grendygirl Bw will forever blame the world instead of fixing those low standards

[@musicnextchapter5034]

​@@Grendygirl​I'm a black man! The problem is not the black woman beauty, cause black women are crazy beautiful to me! The problem is the ATTITUDE (loud, masculine, the way she treats short, lacking, balding, BROKE, ugly men she doesn't like, ratchet attire & attitude, etc.) Compared to Other races (because women from other races have attitude but black women attitude is way worse) Even if women from other races have ATTITUDE, not only it's way less, but they give you more in terms of femininity, treating you like a man, etc. They have way more respect to you with a soft energy than black women The other point is that the opposite of Love is not Hate, it's Indifference!! Black men on tiktok that complain about black women, still love black women! They are just frustrated about black women, and want them to change. If they didn't like black women, they wouldn't talk about them at all, they would just date other races and keep quiet

[@michelef9429]

This conversation about the importance of casting people that are open minded in order to set contestants up for success is powerful. I never thought of that angle, but now it's all I can think about. I also liked your comments around how we are socialized and how that translates into our romantic preferences. I am a clinical social work student with a BA in political science and these commentary videos are what I live for and fuel much of my research. I stumbled upon this video and your channel and I'm so glad I did! I am subscribing and can't wait to watch more. :)

[@katexanadu7436]

Before we get started, I NEED details on your hair!! You've been slaying the last few videos

[@ieshaweaver4013]

Girl your not bias, those women were beautiful! And I could not finish either! I had to jump to the last episode to see how it went because I was getting turned off! I’m glad I’m not the only one who didn’t like the show and noticed how this all went down! We need a show FOR black women!

[@elvishhudson2402]

Period 👏🏾👏🏾👌🏾

[@karenallen6557]

The same didn’t even finish it

[@hellopumpkin86]

I get why black women are disappointed about not seeing themselves appreciated and chosen as the “final woman” on reality shows, but honestly, black women shouldn’t stress over these things. Reality tv will become even more fake than it already is if these producers start telling men to “choose the black woman for ratings!” You don’t want to be pandered to for reality television. I don’t want black women to fall for the pandering aspect slowly building in Hollywood. Look at what Disney is doing these days for example. I would prefer people demanding more black women in fictional shows and franchises instead of hand-me-down characters that used to be white when black people and black cultures have rich backgrounds of original stories to draw from-far better and engaging to ALL races than Black Panther!😂

[@TayahPrice]

I loved this video, Toni! Also appreciate the interview with Deandra - she was preaching! Lol.

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Glad you enjoyed it! Deandra was amazing!! I honestly did not expect her to be so open, but I loved it. I felt like I was talking with a friend lol

[@AMFibers]

As a white woman, I obviously cannot speak to this, but I've definitely noticed the same things you're mentioning here. When you were talking about the bachelor named Matt, you mentioned that his mother is white. There is some psychological research that shows that straight men tend to find women similar to their mothers as attractive. Not for any weird Freudian reason, but because their idea of what a woman is was shaped by their experience growing up. I've also noticed a trend that a lot of mixed people have a Black father and a white mother. Now, I don't know the statistics on that, it's just something that I've noticed and that I've heard Black women speak about. I could be totally wrong. But if you connect those two things - men ending up with women similar to their mothers and mixed individuals having a white mother - you end up with a situation where Black women are left out of the equation. Again, I could be completely wrong and would love to hear Black women's thoughts on this.

[@SuperAnimecity]

No you're right on that. There's a massive difference psychologically between those of us who are mixed with a black mum or a black dad. I, my aunt and some family friends all have black mums and white dads, the entire family dynamic is different. Boys typically emulate the behaviours of their fathers so if a BM is dusty, the mixed sons will copy that. Look at Andrew Tate, black dad, white mum

[@sunflowerrose]

But even the full black men in this shows choose non black women so it would not matter if Matt was biracial or black. Black men who goes on this shows are mostly there to find a non black women. There are plenty serious black men who dates black women but would never sign up for this shows

[@fj8992]

Then how do you explain full black men chasing after women who don‘t have the same features like their mothers?

[@Yosoydom]

Your observations are absolutely right. And coming from a mixed family myself, i have noticed that many black men that have white babymoms don’t uplift black women, and their sons (and sometimes their wives/babymoms/girlfriends as well) learn that same behavior and ultimately look at black women as being less attractive

[@BumbleBee-wi3cf]

there has been research shown that biracial kids most of them not all would rather date white people to get white kids some marry black people because their white side of the family didn't accept them and they also desire to be black. but some black men of the west do this to get kids who are almost white passing and they be been brainwashed that their own black women aren't pretty

[@edenlewis2538]

One show I think not many people know about that I found very interesting is called Courtship. It came out last year via Peacock. It is dating in the style of Bridgerton/Jane Austin and centers around a brown skin (some may consider dark), Nicole Remi. It had been from all different backgrounds in terms of race, ethnicity, and geography. It was interesting to watch, but I feel like most of the men were very open-minded and respectful. There were a few guys that got on my nerve but for the most part, I was pleasantly surprised. You should definitely watch it because I would love to hear your opinion.

[@kculture403]

this was a very informative video and it touched a lot of important topics, it’s ashame black women (as i am one myself) are just invisible.. we’re so beautiful, and all of the women displayed were so gorgeous so it’s so sad to see how poorly treated we are on these shows! it’s so discouraging.

[@shana_mcd]

I’m so glad this is being discussed. I see love is blind is trying to pander to us black women for this upcoming season. Hopefully we’ll see these women on the show. The perfect match was so terrible I couldn’t finish the season

[@mpuntu]

I stopped watching dating shows because of this reason. It's honestly disheartening.

[@o13sweetboy]

I think this 'preference' word is really a cover up word to say you only love a particular race thats different from yours and really despise your own usaully among Black people.

[@LoLovesLife]

Rachel Lindsay is actually the only fully black lead. Michelle Young's mom is white and Michelle identifies as a woman of color (which is fine). Two decades of a show and one black lead. Taiysha, Matt, and Michelle are all mixed race. It speaks volumes. I started watching the bachelor when Rachel was the lead but I've given up on it.

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Yes, as I stated to many people that have informed me, I knew Michelle was mixed rave from my recollection of watching her 2 years ago, but just wanted to confirm. On google it said she had two black parents and identified as African American. But yes, definitely a problem. They did just announce the next bachelorette will be fully black. I’m confused why they are so against having black, Asian, or Latinx men being the bachelor. It’s so odd to me.

[@Summerkillens]

I’m SOOOO glad you’re talking about this because after I watched these shows I literally had to google if there were videos made on this to make sure I’m not tripping. And there aren’t many.

[@KayLyda]

I'm so glad you made a video about this!

[@giftyitama5787]

Black women would only be seen as desirable when their men start seeing them as such. Black men don’t just like black women and their blackness but they jump through all the hoops to avoid confronting that reality and say black women’s attitude is the reason they are the least married.

[@triggered3625]

Black men ain’t thinking about y’all disrespectful asses no more. Once y’all respect black men again black men would put y’all back on the pedestal. Y’all really salty because the non black men didn’t pick black women.

[@shathegem]

Or how about move on from black men and go where you are appreciated.. problem solved

[@jeffrey-Epstein00]

​@@shathegem lol non bm don't "appreciate" y'all too LMAO have you seen love island??

[@shathegem]

@@jeffrey-Epstein00 clearly you don’t live in reality loser

[@55CINCO55]

Black men and Asian women have a lot in common... hmmm 🤔

[@TishaPisha]

Shout out to Rachel. Knew her in college. She was always so kind!

[@sophierix3041]

Wow you’ve really stepped up your game in the last few videos 👏🏼

[@hulan4631]

This interview was so honest and engaging. Your questions and her realness went hand in hand. Great video!!

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Thank you so much!!

[@roziebaybe1626]

My honest opinion, *COLONY* did not "fit in" with this crowd. Knowing her from the miami show, she seemed too "mature" and accomplished for these "fuck boys" I was actually shocked when she walked in

[@angelr5694]

Thank you for covering this topic as the other time I've heard someone talk about this they were using misinformation and being intellectually dishonest. When I think about a show done correctly, I think about love is blind season one. A lot of the guys had initially liked, Lauren and Lauren was completely open to dating anyone.What made this even better is when they saw her they talked about how great she looked. The problem is not that that Black women are "a hard sell" they just need to open their options, be realistic, and think through what show you go on if you want to do the whole reality show thing.

[@jessicaj8083]

First let me say proud of the growth of your platform. That interview was great! 👏

[@WiredSims]

Such an awesome interview!!! 👏 👏 👏

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Thank you!! I enjoyed it as well 💕

[@daniellamendepo244]

I thought I was the only one that noticed this. So glad you are speaking about it !

[@annap2320]

The perfect match sounds like a knock off Love Island

[@90swannabe56]

Definitely was it

[@bear3279]

Your smile is so radiant !! Cant wait to hear what you have to say

[@antonioking2602]

I mean.....we could just create our own all black Netflix dating show, right? Why are we always begging for others to represent us?

[@RealLivesMatterREELiivesKill]

Chioma Chats also has a video on token bw in dating shows. I love love love love this type of social commentary

[@TOFFEETASTICC]

This reminds me of the time BW were outraged about Yo Gotti and Dadusty for not including DSBW in their music video. Its sad how desperate a lot of BW are to be “picked” even though the reason for being “picked” doesn’t benefit her in the first place. BW need to make up their minds and stop contradicting themselves. We cannot be outraged about “not being picked” or “being publicly humiliated” then in the same breath complain over the “lack of diversity”. Make up your minds y’all. 😕

[@ReneTO]

Thank you so much for making this video! Not enough people are talking about diversity and representation problems on “reality” television shows. I e been subscribed for a couple weeks, and I LOVE your channel!

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Awww I am so glad you enjoyed this video!! This was something I really thought needed a discussion

[@tevingreen3908]

This was GREAT. I started watching Bachelor/Bachelorette content for real during Matt James’ season. This whole video very clearly expresses why I’m excited, but also a bit uncertain about my expectations for Charity’s season.

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Thank you so much!! Now that Charity's season has concluded, what are your thoughts??