Are Kids Growing Up Too Fragile? Jonathan Haidt Can Help!

Are we being too protective of our kids as parents today? Do we let our kids do all the things we did as kids?
Are we stifling childhood discovery and independence, even though we have the best intentions?
Jonathan Haidt is a social psychologist and Professor of Ethical Leadership at New York University Stern School of Business who has written multiple books exploring morality and society. In 2018, he authored the book "The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure," which delves into how overprotective parenting is leading to more harm than good, especially on college campuses. Jonathan has many thoughts on what parents can be doing to support students, without focusing only on their safety. Here are the Top 5 lessons we learned about being antifragile from Jonathan Haidt.
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Jonathan’s website: people.stern.nyu.edu/jhaidt/
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Watch Jonathan’s 1st TED Talk: • The moral roots of lib...
2nd TED Talk: • Jonathan Haidt: Religi...
3rd TED Talk: • Can a divided America ...
Jonathan on Real Time with Bill Maher: • Jonathan Haidt The Cod...
Jonathan's Google Talk: • The Righteous Mind | J...
"The Coddling of the American Mind": www.thecoddling.com/
"The Righteous Mind": righteousmind.com/
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Our Website: www.dadsavesamerica.com
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Outline:
[00:00] Who is Jonathan Haidt?
[01:11] Number 5
[03:02] Number 4
[04:07] Number 3
[04:57] Number 2
[06:19] Number 1
Dad Saves America is a channel dedicated to celebrating heroic fatherhood while teaching the next generation of fathers strategies they can utilize in parenting their children. We believe strong children come from a strong family. We’ve had many experts in the studio, including Jonathan Haidt, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Troy Kotsur, John Mackey, Ben Askren, and Adam Carolla.
#antifragile #jonathanhaidt #college #haidt #psychology #heterodoxacademy
References clips from: Weird Science, Humpty Dumpty, Back to School, Superstar, The Simpsons, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

[@vowelsounds6312]

Beginning around 2012, during the “no child left behind” delusion, I was expected to make sure all my public high school science students passed my class whether they had tried to learn anything or not. I knew then that we as a country were heading for trouble.

[@misterschubert3242]

My immediate reaction when I first heard the title of that legislation was, "No one can be left behind if no one goes anywhere at all--can't be stranded if the train never leaves the station...!"

[@RumpleGold]

Because of that Policy my coworkers 19 yr old son graduated highschool last year still unable to read or write . Robert had him file as disabled because he knows his son can’t even sign his own name on job applications . And no , his son is not special needs , he’s just a normal kid that got ignored in class because he was shy .

[@vowelsounds6312]

@@RumpleGold sorry to hear that. I pushed back against those policies which in my opinion hurt kids by being too willing to accept / create excuses and pass them on.

[@gangsta8929]

Yea imagine wanting kids to do well in school. What monsters!

[@vowelsounds6312]

@@gangsta8929 getting in the weeds here. You can’t force a horse to drink. Sometimes kids / parents want you / the teacher / coach to learn and practice and play the game for them. Responsibilities belong to the individual. Lastly, public schools need competition. Parents need to have realistic choices / financial / vouchers.

[@morganmerritt8846]

To all the dads doing their best: Thank you.

[@tinyshepherdess7710]

I so agree with Haidt's views about how we sheltered kids in the 90s to the point of rendering them unable to cope with life. I gave my kids more freedom than most parents did and was chastised several times by well-meaning "good samaritans" claiming to know what was better for my kids than I did. I recognized even then that the over-protection of kids had reached fever pitch and I wasn't going to cave! My daughter had a friend who was not allowed to cross the street onto the next block near her house until she was 13! I knew it was important to give my kids some agency, little by little, with increasing opportunities to make critical decisions as they matured. They thank me for it today.

[@shanecrump7932]

I’m 40 now and honestly wish my parents had been more like that. Of course I dont resent them. They were just doing their best.

[@tinyshepherdess7710]

@@shanecrump7932 They thought they were protecting you. Kids have to make their own decisions, make some mistakes, even fail a few times. That's how we learn!

[@shanecrump7932]

@@tinyshepherdess7710 exactly. That’s why I hold zero resentment against them. They did the best job they knew how raising me and I appreciate it immensely. I also don’t have kids so I’m really in no position to judge someone’s parenting as long as they aren’t abusing their kids. I have also made some terrible life decisions and my little sister is 10x more successful than I am, so I have to accept responsibility for my part in my life outcomes.

[@KINGGEORGEIO]

Nothing is more fragile than your egos

[@towanda1067]

When I was little, we were left to our own devices often. We organized our own softball, baseball, and other games/sports, we explored the woods on our own, we created our own entertainment, rode bikes a considerable distance from home, etc. during all of this, when we encountered problems, we solved them. No adult intervened. As a result, we learned problem-solving, cooperation, consequences, ingenuity and creativity, equity, etc. - all valuable skills to help us build the confidence we needed to face the challenges of adulthood. I taught in a college for 30 years and towards the end of my career, my students would come to class and dump all their problems on me. I would ask them, “How do you plan to solve that problem?” and they were always shocked that I expected them to come up with a solution. Kids did become more fragile because the adults in their life overprotected them and did everything for them. That just creates a handicap because kids can’t do things for themselves. They lack the skills, experience and confidence and too often, even the will to do so.

[@tinyshepherdess7710]

Yep that was my childhood too. Nowadays that is called "free range" and such a parenting style is looked down upon because, supposedly, it puts kids in such horrible danger. When I was a kid, it was normal. I don't think the world is any more dangerous now than it was then! There are more dangers online than outside. I had run-ins with creeps in the "olden days", and sure I got in over my head a time or two, but I eventually learned how to steer clear and stay out of trouble.

[@malcolmchevrier6866]

I remember being told, "There are occasions when seeking forgiveness is better than seeking permission." Too much has changed since those immortal words were spoken. We must keep pushing back or too much of our humanity will be lost.

[@nancyinoregon809]

Love the concept of dads saving America! The video footage about Dads on Duty in a Louisiana school made me cry. It's time to stand up for the essential role that dads play. And I'm a huge fan of Jonathan Haidt.

[@melissadelude4292]

😅😅

[@deerwolfunlimited]

Hear! Hear!

[@ayanomar1408]

me and another mom friend were talking about how parents without knowing conterbute to this mindset. making our children “weak” without even realizing it. and after our long talk watching our kids playing in the park it suddenly hit us! we do it in away because we cant afford for our kids to get hurt! we dont want them getting hurt because we both have other kids and no family to leave them with in case something happened. slowly we are now trying to do better about it and teach them to do everything without fear of getting hurt

[@DadSavesAmerica]

Thanks for sharing this conversation. As a parent, it’s so difficult to find the right balance on this. And of course, there are dangers that we really do need to protect them from. Being aware that it can go too far is the most important thing. - John

[@TheJetstream10]

This is why sports become so important to boys and girls, but we have made those into safety zones as well with a pay to play system as opposed to the old days of going down to the park and playing a pickup game with no adult supervision. Essentially there is always adult supervision and that is the fundamental flaw in child rearing today in America.

[@bobobo2224]

We are teaching that no one is allowed to be offended. We teach that if someone says or does ANYTHING that makes you feel uncomfortable, to any degree, that person is doing something bad and must be stopped. If your kid is a little overweight and you go to try on clothes, and you ask the attendant to bring a size L for your child, but instead, the attendant brings a size L and a size XL, then the phone gets pulled out, the attendant gets recorded and the video gets posted on KZbin showing everyone that the child was a victim of fat shaming. The attendant gets fired and sponsors are pulling out of the store. That is not far from what happens. We are teaching victimhood. We need to look at the word that started all this. Tolerance. But tolerance only went one way. No one is allowed to be offended. The pronoun war is about being offended. There is no tolerance the other way. Someone calls you a name, someone calls you fat, someone calls you her, brush it off. The person who brushes it off will grow up right. Teach the difference between intentional and non intentional. The person bringing you the XL is trying to help you choose what fits best. The person calling you "her" doesn't know you, therefore can't call you "they". Teach the kids empathy. Teach them that being offended has many stages. But right now, people are losing Careers for insane things. We are losing.

[@gcolombelli]

People these days self sensor too much and sometimes struggle with words, walking on eggshells trying hard not to offend anyone. When I notice people having this issue with me, I tell them not worry, if they manage to offend me somehow, I'd probably end up thanking them for it. In the rare occasion I feel offended, I have this weird urge to try to understand just why I felt that way. After finding the answer, usually it comes down to a few options: - I'm having an attribution bias and should probably just keep my cool and figure out what's actually going on; - I'm caring too much about opinions of people of no consequence and I'd be wasting my time overthinking that ; - I just heard a very uncomfortable bit of truth and I should either make peace with this flaw I found on myself or take action to fix it.

[@buckodonnghaile4309]

Being told your fat is a great motivator to lose weight. As is looking in the mirror and wheezing while climbing 4 stairs. Truth hurts but not as much as having your toes amputated from the Willford Brimley disease.

[@zZTharosXx]

I highly recommend the book. I started seeing this "coddling" back when I first went to University in 2008 and it's seemed to only gotten worse.

[@johnpapola2720]

All I had to contend with was mild PC and "multiculturalism" back in the late 90s at Penn State. There was nothing like this. It's a strange 180 in mindset.

[@SchoolReports]

Ditto! (except for the University in '08 part)

[@AlexDrums482]

The only ones being coddled are conservative brats who think they're entitled to every goddamn thing. Y'all need a real whippin.

[@crbondur]

Being reminded that we have an internal locus of control is definitely the key! If I have control over my life, then I can gauge the risks I want to take, based on the consequences of success or failure. Good stuff!

[@Hajde_budalla]

Ok how do you find the internal locus?

[@mastersnet18]

@@Hajde_budalla remind yourself that you have control over your life. Even over things you seemingly have no control over, you still control your perception of it and emotions around it. Being a victim means you have external locus of control. This also means being optimistic rather than pessimistic.

[@HJones-pi5bs]

As teachers we are often forced by fearful administrators and vocal parents to act in a way that we know is not in the best interests of students or society. We have what we have now as a result.

[@LoveDrivingCar]

Za moich czasów dziecko spędzało większość czasu na dworze, do tej pory pamiętam bitwy stoczone z innymi chłopakami na osiedlu, gry w chowanego itp.

[@underated17]

Tak no wlasznie. Ja z Kanady ale Polskie Korzenia

[@DarkSentinel52]

mam 17 lat i pamiętam jak jako dziecko bawiłem się na dworze z innymi i jeździłem na rowerze

[@jordanbrown1309]

I needed that last little comment of hope from Haidt. Lots of work to do, but it can be done.

[@garretwoeller7669]

I mean if you nurture understanding and the idea of agreeing to disagree and trying to understand rather then get aggressive about ideas that you don't agree with it. Seriously don't know how many people I come across that get hostile and throw hate around like it's so easy for them too hate rather then reserving hate for something truly deserving of getting hate.

[@michellelincoln9987]

no, we're not raising fragile kids y'all have just become fragile adults good grief 🤦‍♀️

[@paulkersey7458]

Touché

[@gcolombelli]

I think it's a bit of both, parents have been getting increasingly more protective of their children to the point that kids don't play outside much. But also, there's been something seriously wrong with all this sensitivity training among adults. A few of my thoughest friends became incredibly fragile a little after turning 30 years old and I still don't understand just what caused all this. It's like their confidence shattered and they became extremely reliant on external support and validation to avoid second guessing themselves at every tiny decision they had to make and not feel overwhelmed at the tiniest obstacle they find in their path.

[@Papa-dopoulos]

I don’t know. At least half of the ideas resonate somewhat with me but I gotta say..the “sticks and stones” thing is so exasperating. It’s frustrating because it pre-supposes that people are raised with a solid enough foundation to overcome verbal abuse, which is very much not the case. If you were raised having cigarettes put out on you, and you already have a voice in your head telling you your garbage, when somebody insults you at school you’re supposed to just get over it? It’s just going to feed into confirmation bias, you’re going to gravitate to the negative feedback, not work on yourself, and engage in a cycle of self-harm. I’ve seen it time and time and time again. Words DO hurt, and I’m not a “beta” for saying that. Words can swing governments, topple giant corporations, and rile a population up to overthrow tyrannical rulers. And we are worried about being punched by some 9 year old more? It just makes no sense man. Shrugging it off is a great tool for those of us who have the confidence to do so, and I agree you should always just overcome it and agree to disagree, but again, not all of us have had that confidence instilled in us. It’s easy to blame millennials and zoomers, but what about their parents?

[@unknownuser3926]

Exactly, I have diagnosed PTSD from what my father did to me as a child and it didn't make me stronger, it made me a shattered wreck of a person, and being homeless for most of 2020 didn't make me tougher for surviving, it just meant I had to sleep curled up in a parking lot and taught me never to trust anyone, ever. This "tough times, tough men" mentality is always pushed by the softest, weakest, pastiest people who've never had to go through a single tough day in their lives who couldn't cope with what I have to deal with before breakfast.

[@lextavactchi]

@@unknownuser3926 Suffering will not make everyone tougher/stronger/better, but these idiots in the video seem to genuinely think that for whatever reason. No functioning brain havin asses. I’m bipolar, special Ed all through my childhood years with speech therapy, and I can think more than them. Fucking why?

[@nancyinoregon809]

@@unknownuser3926 If you're old enough to remember the original "sticks and stones" quote, it's what your parent told you to say to the bully kids. Nobody including Jonathan Haidt would claim that you can grow up emotionally stronger and mentall healthier when you don't have a nurturing home environment. But you DO need to be able to stand strong against people outside your tribe who are hitting on you, verbally or otherwise.

[@bradfordparker6639]

People are always going to be out there who are bad parents or bad or nasty folks. Trying to shelter from the inevitable just like trying to avoid all germs will cause great harm eventually to an individual and to our society and our freedom.

[@MrMojo271]

Your using exceptions, and not the rule

[@marwatson7408]

Yes exactly I remember hearing a story that a University of Florida had a 24/7 hotline for people who were offended by others wearing a Halloween costume that they didn’t like. These people were in college not kindergarten if they can’t handle someone wearing a Halloween costume then what’s going to happen when they are faced with a real challenge????? It is a recipe for failure in their life 🥺😥😳🙄😞.

[@SuperRobertoClemente]

Lol you think this is an airtight argument for debate team or something-- but you're not saying what the costume was. What if it was blackface? I would PREFER that my children have the courage and independent thought to condemn a costume that celebrates the legacy of slavery, or that subtly celebrates amnesia about historical crimes against others in our country. Your attitude goes precisely against this spirit of togetherness that the video claims to champion-- if we are solving problems and able to dialogue together, we don't intentionally offend others-- we are secure enough to take their point of view seriously. That's not fragility-- it takes courage and tolerance. This video and all these sycophants licking its ass are crypto-fascist hokum.

[@teresalatiolais8477]

They would have hated my dad, while he was protective he also made us ( two older brothers) get dirty and make mistakes and learn from them

[@squibbelsmcjohnson]

How did you turn out.

[@Matlacha_Painter]

A fair report of Haidt’s work.

[@davidmcneil2296]

But at the same time, the question and concept much be asked, but do you think our elders were raised too rough & mental development is just as intricate in the developmental process as physical development? A wound on the inside is a wound that you can’t receive medicine for too heal, unlike a wound on the outside of the body that you can heal easier. I feel a bunch of older adults are incapable of being vulnerable and tapping into their emotions. They were raised on the specific gender roles and boys had to be men, and girls must be women and it is possible it could have stunted their growth while trying to develop and are incapable of feeling certain emotions so they are always walled off to other people and can never really connect on an intimate level because of so? I think that is dis-advantageous to society for people to not be able to grow emotionally and for the, to stay hard all the time because that’s what their stoic father told him to do when he was little.

[@larsedik]

I've noticed the excessive asking for permission in younger people when they are ordering at a deli. They will say, "Can I get half a pound of ham?" or "Can I get 1/4 pound of Swiss cheese?" instead of saying, "I would like..." I find this way ordering very annoying. The deli wants to sell its products - one does not need to ask permission to buy them.

[@mrs.t4382]

The same with speaking to children. You shouldn’t say “can you pick up your toys now, please?” Instead: “pick up your toys, I’ll be back in 10 minutes to check.”

[@LeeCarlson]

I've been sharing Jonathan Haidt with anyone who would listen (and some who plug their ears) ever since the publishing of The Happiness Hypothesis, and I'm pleased to see that others are presenting his research and conclusions.

[@darlenefrymark9838]

Thank you!

[@hankhumble3552]

YESS. More people should see this.

[@jamesvanwyk1378]

It is always easier to say you are sorry than to get permission in advance.

[@RVWeekendsRC1]

Excellent!

[@deepquake9]

Fantastic message!

[@coachjpark]

Great video, John 👍

[@shnuzels1609]

To all the parents doing their best! I detest the use of the word “weak”. Also let’s not forget we are all fragile. Still, some Excellent points made here! I was raised by traumatized parents and a Christian church to fear everything and that made things exceptionally difficult for me. Thank goodness I rebelled and got to watch 3 older siblings rebel. I

[@CryptoSurfer]

Remember, safety third.

[@vowelsounds6312]

😂

[@sunset33533]

There's a workbook called 30 Days Without Social Media by Harper Daniels that I really like. We have to be so careful with social...more like hypnotical...media today.

[@castbet9183]

It’s funny this reminds me of a what is now a very funny overreaction on my part at the time. I was riding my bike and I twisted my ankle, I told my parents I hurt my ankle and they told me I’d be fine in a few weeks and so I walked around with an annoying limp. And after a few weeks I was walking normal again. Now I’m smarter and tougher for it, when I twist my ankle I just walk it off and after an hour or so if walking and sitting I’m back to normal. Im grateful my parents both sheltered me but made sure I grew stronger as I grew up, and letting me make mistakes to learn.

[@BestIsntEasy]

🤣 Rather than, "Time heals all wounds," a therapist told a loved one of mine, "Time wounds all heals." TOTALLY different meaning today. Time wounds all 🦶🐍.

[@kruto9554]

short answer: yes.

[@andrewclydebell797]

well done :) keep up the good work

[@JimLogan-pl5nc]

This kind of talk has been going on for over 100 years.

[@donnacribb5712]

Yes truth

[@gmwilliamsful]

Words DO TRAUMATIZE people. Words can be abusive & hateful-look at history. Words should be chosen wisely.

[@westmurphy6450]

Pain is weakness leaving the body

[@johnshafer7214]

Lots of things changed rapidly in 2013. All of the sudden, young people refused to work and they get upset so quickly.

[@terry9berry1]

The normal course of adulthood includes: confrontation problem-solving and emotional responsibility to own up to your mistakes. Bubble wrapping a kid does a disservice to everyone in our society. When did being non threateningly confrontational become taboo?

[@sazji]

I was a bullied kid, but the idea that we could just make the bullies not exist, would have been silly. I definitely could have used more support from my parents (they really didn't know what to do) and help in realizing that it really wasn't about me. But the idea that the world would ever be free of bullies or that there was some (unenforceable) "right" to never encounter them would have been absurd. The only way to ensure that would have been for my parents to hover around me all the time, and never let me out of their sight. That is, exactly what parents are being expected to do in the US today. People who buy into it raising their kids in soft-walled prisons, and those who let their kids grow up "free range" like I did, now face legal threats. That has to be rolled back somehow.

[@ashleyalbeckofficial]

fabulous ideas! Looking forward to discussing these with my husband and friends! Might even check out the book :) Thanks!

[@dickrichard626]

TBH, something about the view to like ratio tells me these guys are paying for hate, but they don't care, because obviously the book sells itself to enough ppl to make money to pay for the add and put some in their pocket, but the whole idea and purpose behind this concept is nonsensical in abstraction. It is seriously geared torwards people who like to think about a psychologucal arguement that makes no sense without specific examples and isn't really worth putting anything into, because as the old saying goes: " If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it." No one can create a uniform rule of thumb code of conduct that everyone should always follow in the respect that is being presented in video... There's always been extreme cases of coddleing where the relationship between the parent and child is unhealthy and has detrimental effects to the development of the child and some really bad and weird stuff happens as a result... but hopefully you are not insane and do weird stuff with your kid... 😆 It reminds of the munchhousen's by proxy lady... and there is the opposite end of the spectrum, which is basically abuse and neglect... You don't everything for your kid, but it's good to make sure they have a good chance at making it and to not screw them over... That's it...some people got to act like they have to be an asshole, but that doesn't make the relationship better. people who have kids that are extremely skilled at an art form or intellectually basically make sure thier kid is extremely supported in everyway from a very young age. It doesn't just happen randomly... there fore there is actually an arguement that coddling and sheltering can totally work out. That's my take.

[@molallamerica896]

Yup. We need to push back on the cult of safety.

[@Beeg_Boy]

I’m gonna push back against the cult of safety by breaking into your house 🤘

[@matthewatwood8641]

I taught my eight year old daughter today about the original sticks and Stones sang, & also about Nietzsche.

[@starwarsguy87]

Great stuff, Haidt has had a similar impact on me and I am so glad my discovery of his work so closely coincided with my entry into the dad club. Question: What is the source of the video of Haidt discussing the “Coddling of the American Mind” in what appears to be a college lecture hall?

[@lisamarieversaci]

That’s our footage. We shot a long interview with him in New York. He’s just the best!

[@marianconde4507]

So overdue & relevant!

[@paulsansonetti7410]

Meanwhile " the happiness hypothesis " is actually his best book imo

[@GruneD]

It’s a very different world. I’m only 42 but I was brought up “old school”. Now kids would sue you if you do something they don’t like. The world has become very weak. You see it in Sports, Professional enterprises. Everyone gets a bail out now and a trophy for doing nothing. Everyone becomes “viral” or “famous” for doing something stupid on social media. Don’t know the end results but it sure doesn’t feel like anything good will come out of this. All an illusion 🎉😅

[@clydekimsey7503]

The death of discussion 😢

[@shnuzels1609]

Verbal abuse can cause a Lifetime of problems however sometimes saying we can heal from It is enough to have a belief to look for options or see them when they present themselves.

[@user-kv7be8oe2t]

I used to let our 6-7 year old boys have pocketknives! In the 2000’s that was considered a horrible parenting move! My boys are leaders and problem solvers now. But the social pressure was really intense! I always found it funny no pocket knives but unrestrained access to the internet! Lol

[@lupemerrit]

It’s amazing … how uninformed kids are today. High schools are diploma mills. I had occasion to see an 11th grader use phone calculator to find 10% of $75.00.They can’t write either and forget vocabulary. I checked Pisa scores and was not shocked to see how were low on the education totem pole.

[@jodybundrant9386]

I delt with bullys at school so different then others did ! I became their bully, i didnt need a grown up to powder puff anything! No coddlers allowd !

[@hulamei3117]

Fragility and resiliency. Sticks and stones name calling will not hurt me.

[@christophergreen3809]

I remember a line from Captain Kirk in Star Trek V: "I hold on to my pain...it makes me what I am".

[@hotrichrichardwatterson9517]

this is a good thing we can beat them up easier

[@Maryland_Kulak]

Not all parents are raising their children to be weak. Some are raising their children to be strong. Many parents aren’t raising their children at all; the streets are raising their children. The weak will fall prey to the strong.

[@someinternetdude4159]

Ok, I'm from a totally different generation than generation fragile. This entire video, to me, is a one giant DUH! I mean this was like common sense drilled into us as kids by parents and through experiences. We were also really fast runners as kids because that is how you saved your life for all the stupid stuff you did learning growing up. But of course the world back then was a lot more forgiving in many ways too. I mean not everything was a capital criminal offense and cops would scare you straight then send you on your way and you learned and you lived another day. And we didn't have cell phones to call for help. We were far from home with no means of communication and we had to figure stuff out ourselves and be smart enough to not end up seriously hurt or dead. Anyway, the kids these days, to me, appear to be pretty book smart, well some of them anyway, but they are completely mentally retarded on common sense and street smarts and I don't find that to be a good way to be. Ok, back to the video, this dude with all his PhDs is basically saying what my grandmother drilled into me daily. I mean, heck, my grandmother was a PhD. Who knew!? As far as being a parent I don't give a crud about my kids leading important lives or changing the world. The world is a mess, always has been a mess, always will be a mess. I just taught my kids to survive, be tough, make money, raise a family. Screw your grand ideas of everyone changing the world. These kids these days want to change the world into a total totalitarian nightmare.... no thanks. Stop teaching your kids to be leaders and changing the world. Just teach them to be normal people and the world might get a little better.

[@crismcdonough2804]

You need to go talk to Ron DeSantis and the parents in Florida. They don't want their kids learning about a gay parent or racism because it "might make them feel bad"

[@Lolbit7069]

When I was a child I was roller skating with my mom in the early 2000s, and fell on my face while my helmet and pads took most of the impact. I was roller skating with my mom towards Dairy Queen for an ice cream, the same Dairy Queen that I had my first ice cream when I was a baby. So yes kids are too sensitive and glued to the screen. While I get scratches or bruises from the ground and just walked it off without complaining about the first aid kit. It was before the internet was viral and easily accessible, while I had a Game Boy and independently played on my own.

[@user-xn1bo9rx5m]

we rollerskated 40 years before helmets and pads , we milked cows to make ice cream .

[@KM-wf9yx]

First "goats" have "kids", we have "children"! Yes! We are raising our children too fragile! It started in the 60's and 70's by giving our children all of the "things" we never had and thought that would help them advance in life better, it didn't it spoiled them! Then we did everything for them and everybody got a trophy whether they were good or bad at what the trophy was for...

[@hvac_tech3]

Making 100k/yr is below the poverty level in some californian cities. Nothing else matters if post boomer generations dont make enough money to support themselves. Having a family, getting married, buying a house, a car, vacations, they all get postponed indefenately. Younger generations are going to give up if this trend continues.

[@ravioliofthefarquadempire835]

But this raises the question: what's the balance between being firm and being an actual parent? As someone who grew up in an unstable household, I am of the belief that the things I've experienced have made me stronger, more empathetic to those who've gone through similar, and ultimately have taught me valuable life lessons. But that's no excuse for a father to hit their kid in the stomach for saying Jesus Christ, or to ignore your kid when they yell for you or cry in fear, or to constantly cheat them, under the pretense that you're teaching them that "life isn't fair". The goal of parents shouldn't be to put your child through what you had or worse, or to teach them the awful things that the world has to give, but to provide them a better life than the one you had yourself, and to teach them that life is about working as hard as you can until the next happy moment. But ultimately, there isn't 2 reactions to growing up with an unstable household. They will first become broken before they grow strong. Give these kids you speak about time, you'd be foolish to expect immediate results. In time, they will learn from the life lessons that they may or may not have been taught, and they will develop their own morals.

[@ravioliofthefarquadempire835]

Whoops, that was an essay and a half😅

[@rebeccaalig1856]

I appreciate the time that it took you to type this post. My parents were also reared in unstable households. They responded by becoming empathetic, strong and hardworking. I received unconditional love, but I was not coddled.

[@coachduke9323]

You missed a key component. Give them a better life. Prepare them for life. Prepare them for being an adult. Give them a better life by teaching them how to avoid things that will make their life harder. That and understand that kids learn mostly by mimicking what they see. Who they see. Set examples and prepare them for a better life than your own. Giving them more stuff and making them do nothing for it is not making their lives better.

[@altheadawn2531]

The 1+2=in the thumbnail 😂😂😂

[@wilhelminamarquart240]

You made so much profound sense I must subscribe ps Gen X here heehee

[@DadSavesAmerica]

Thanks!! We are Gen X... the forgotten, sane generation.

[@wilhelminamarquart240]

@@DadSavesAmerica welcome 🤗

[@darylloth3237]

We need more people like Jonathan Haidt. Great video. Very well produced. Hope it gets the views it deserves.

[@paulsansonetti7410]

Car seats actually do exactly nothing unless they are installed perfectly, and most are not installed perfectly

[@bobbyd1658]

ah yes humans are cups and immune systems... social systems aren't the same as biological systems lmfao. Also immune systems depend on the person. Social systems can be changed, adapted. This is such an ignorant take. He basically is saying that we shouldn't criticize social systems, just "toughen" up and ignore issues.

[@Beeg_Boy]

Yeah this video and org is undeniably funded by the architects of those social systems aka: oil billionaires. “Lol don’t criticize the way things are right now just keep your head down and work until you die :)”

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

Phones and games 🙏🙌no empathy no respect ❤

[@jm7578]

Another pervasive issue in America as we have allowed certain people to scream in our face and throw tantrums without consequences this also is not helping

[@rayl2085]

I saw one video where a student pepper sprayed her teacher. 😊

[@XavierKatzone]

Join. ANTI-FRA! (Anti-fragile) 😂❤

[@mexicanstreetcorn3239]

Fragile, lazy and entitled. I asked a young bartender for a lime, apparently this rooftop bar didn’t have them?!. WTF, limes!!!! OMG, you would’ve thought I asked her to go and pick limes from a tree a mile away! Her response, “but I’ll have to go down stair’s”. I was dead 🙄.

[@monikaseidenberg5403]

This is all true, if you have a stable environment to grow up, but it's different if you already experienced trauma in childhood at home.

[@rys2754]

Yes, having no stable home makes it more difficult, but not less true. Therapy is hard work and not everyone is cut out for it.

[@hotuish]

It’s a shame these concepts that were common sense need to be restated.

[@tammiepulley7167]

The truth is silently there in the middle waiting. Words maybe shouldn’t traumatize you for life but be careful and don’t give assholes permission to be bullies either. It’s a damn slippery slope. Speak about THAT if you are being responsible.

[@doctork1708]

Fragile people raising fragile kids.

[@d33pundrwat3r2]

The baby example is pretty terrible.

[@tracphonevirtualmagazine]

Idea is okay but the messengers are trash.

[@cv8683]

Do you people envision a future world where we still have to go to work every day? The problem is that you people keep trying to prepare a kids for a future that doesn’t exist

[@manicmechanic448]

Yes they are, and it's our fault.

[@robpolaris5002]

We are raising victims! Even when they aren’t, they are told to be a victim.

[@rose-a-bleu4281]

What do you mean by “victims” exactly?

[@LBCB94025]

*_They're lacking character! I feel sorry for the youngsters of today that got the trophies for losing!?_* _they've never had to do anything that they didn't want to! when I was growing up all the things that my parents said _*_"builds character"! and it really does!! Now all these kids are lacking in that! they're just being spoiled emotionally and physically!_* *and haven't had to grow in the face adversity!? that would help make them become better people! and they're just basically whims compared to the older Generations!?* _(I'm a millennial)_ *_I especially agree with the whole "sticks&Stones" bit being absent so theyre overly sensitive to negative verbal remarks!?_*_ They cant compromise in an argument, nor try to see the other side! Theyre so "woke" that theyre Actually close minded towards any other points of view!_ *They take different opinions as a personal attack!?* *_I swear, spoiling kids like this is the process that leads to Rapists!! They think they Deserve anything they want! And have the right to take it!- even against others will??_* *They need to be taught Discipline, Patience, self control, responsibility and Especially ACCOUNTABILITY!!* _and another major factor is this concept that everything/life needs to be Fair!!?? _*_When its Not!!_* *Until then we're doing a disservice to the younger generations!!* 🧐🤔🤨🤷🏼 #ToxicWokeness

[@tatianalyulkin410]

In one short sentence I FEEL LIKE I'M BACK IN THE SOVIET UNION. And I hate this " new " America. With a passion.

[@dattape2828]

That girl so completely wrong. Hate speech is NOT a hate crime. Omg. …

[@joromo]

While taking care of my elderly Mom, I found myself confronting a millennial receptionist who was refusing to be attentive at her job and denied my mom access to her doctor. I told her to, "Get off her ass and do her f**king job" which was received by applause from the entire waiting room full of elderly people. Yeah, the new generations are weirdos.

[@CereDulce37]

😶

[@Evolution14387]

@@CereDulce37 you the millennials?

[@AlexDrums482]

You're the weirdo. This cute little story never happened.

[@unknownuser3926]

"They all clapped" classic hallmark of a made up story buddy, didn't happen

[@Beeg_Boy]

Bruh that didn’t happen nobody likes you in real life or even on the internet like damn

[@jayteah1349]

This is quite fully bullshit. As soon as you say “ skilled kids aren’t the ones being safe”, I realized you aren’t acting for the kids you’re acting for the parents.

[@unknownuser3926]

I have diagnosed PTSD from what my father did to me as a child and it didn't make me stronger, it made me a shattered wreck of a person, and being homeless for most of 2020 didn't make me tougher for surviving, it just meant I had to sleep curled up in a parking lot. This "tough times, tough men" mentality is always pushed by the softest, weakest, pastiest people who've never had to go through a single tough day in their lives who couldn't cope with what I have to deal with before breakfast

[@tracphonevirtualmagazine]

I mean...... you're still around so it has to count for something.

[@michaelaeschbacher4648]

@@tracphonevirtualmagazine Oh fucking wow, really? Really.

[@squibbelsmcjohnson]

Called balance.. This is what that's about... Too soft.. Bad.. To hard, really damaging

[@coachduke9323]

Tough times thing didn’t account for people’s spirit being broken. That’s so hard to bounce back from. I did everything in my life to be better than my dad. Stick it up his ass . A proverbial chip on my shoulder. Hate is great fuel as is revenge. Eventually, I forgave him, I understood he was who he was and I needed to be better than him and better for myself. Only saying this because I don’t know your situation, but I’m familiar with the larger struggles that you have to overcome and you have to find your own way forward. But keep score all the time and start with the smallest win possible. Accept it , and go look for another. You’ll stack them up and your attitude should change in this case. Good luck ! Take a win Dude good luck seriously!

[@squibbelsmcjohnson]

@@coachduke9323 thats actually very healthy.. Some hold that hate until he dies and until their own death... Which is horrendous for ones healing... So yah you definitely aren't your father.. Can tell

[@cutecats1368]

Ok dig Haidt :) He was good before he became famous. But hierarchy changes the brain and it was Haidt himself who explained what post hoc reasoning is. Haidt is literally not the same person anymore. Alpha males are measurably the most aggressive members of a primate group (and you can see increased violence in alpha females too) and this includes violence to children (58 percent of unprovoked attacks on youngsters in Bonobos come from the alpha male) . Of course this means they have a lower empathy and that means that just like sociopaths they see any kind of complaint of victims as "snowflake behaviour". The actual violence against kids in the US is SO HIGH now, that: 1. Average birth weights of Americans is decreasing (yes violence against pregnant mothers is a form of violence against the kid, it's even intended in an evolutionary way to be so, and it has measurable effects). 2. Average height is decreasing 3. The live expectancy of the younger generation is decreasing too. Of course some of the college kids, because they come from elite families are overprotected. But the title of this video is "are kids growing up to fragile?". There is no qualification about which kids you are talking about. Than Haidt says he is against tribalism and separating people in good and bad groups but 10 seconds later he describes how superior the Americans are for example to the French. Speaking of post hoc reasoning and tribalism ...

[@moondog7694]

ISN'T AVERAGE HEIGHT DECREASING BECAUSE Mexicans are short? All those Mexicans coming over the border would shift the demographic so that the average height is shorter.

[@marthacsomos510]

Is that you all it,?!! Come on these young people will be our leaders some day.please let’s get it together. We need strong,smart,understanding and,open minded leaders.

[@DarthWoodrack]

These are actually a very interesting philosophical points that I’m thinking on, but I would like to *specifically* respond to number 4 because, while exposure therapy and such is beneficial to long term health, it is important to recognize the difference between exposure therapy to people who disagree with you, or talk about things that make you uncomfortable (for example, hearing people speak about Stalin in a good way, or being uncomfortable with sexual conversations, both of which I have to deal with very frequently), and verbal abuse/bullying, both from authority figures and peers. Whereas exposure therapy can broadly help you deal with stuff, from OCD to anxiety, bullying and verbal abuse *cause* depression, anxiety, and worse. If you here someone tell you to kill yourself because you are trying to get them to stop messing with your project, that is going to cause issues in a depressed mind, and if your parents or teachers tell you that you’re useless, inferior, an idiot, etc, that will cause problems. The important takeaway from this part is simply that we probably shouldn’t enforce minor content warnings such as random things that make kids uncomfortable, but absolutely *should* monitor their own speech, and that if the other kids, for much more severe things. A separate point is the difference between the above and the clip you used to illustrate the point, where, as far as I can tell, the person was annoyed because they couldn’t tell someone that they hate them ‘because they’re something,’ which sounds to me like they are annoyed that they cannot use bigoted speech against people without experiencing a negative response, which seems like a whole other issue, and does not illustrate your point well at all, with what you’re doing being essentially presenting the absolute weakest point of your argument. There is a difference between arguing against trigger warnings, and arguing *for* hate speech. I highly doubt that is what you were advocating, considering your comments on the negatives of tribalism at the end of the video, but it certainly comes across that way from that clip.

[@quakers200]

So apparently all these statements about too much emphasis on safety, concern for negative emotions, disparaging name calling has created all these problems in our society. So we have a thesis. Now what should we do with a thesis? See if it fits in with reality as best we can measure it. The second part here seems to be missing. By the metrics we have to measure things like productivity the current generation is doing very well. The language that people commonly used today is in my opinion much more vulgar and inflammatory than years ago. Ask most teachers about how they are talked to by students and how students talk to each other and the trend is very negative. So I don't know what to make of this without the data to back it up . I am guessing this is more like some false longing for an imaginary past than serious academics.

[@PeLtMaN3]

Evolution? LMBO!

[@jeffreyreitter611]

I’m! get to the … well!?

[@SpArkyTheDerg]

Pov: You misclicked

[@unknownuser3926]

I clicked on purpose to waste their ad money lol

[@soulshaker9018]

Nope.

[@sugarspice7768]

Will any of these tips actually help if your children are in childcare and after school programs all day? You get them for dinner and put them to bed. This is why college students are fragile--- they have been sheltered from real life and real interactions. They grew up behind 4 walls all day where their every minute is scheduled and everyone takes a turn. They literally grew up in an artificial environment, raised by some liberal angry feminists.

[@towanda1067]

Liberal angry feminist? Words from a conservative peaceful non-feminist dubbed “Sugar and Spice?” I doubt it. Any relevant point you could have made was undercut by your unnecessary labeling.

[@hulamei3117]

I'm offended that your grass is green

[@cxa24]

Thieves and liars always cling to their daddies