Male inequality, explained by an expert | Richard Reeves

Modern males are struggling. Author Richard Reeves outlines the three major issues boys and men face and shares possible solutions.
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Boys and men are falling behind. This might seem surprising to some people, and maybe ridiculous to others, considering that discussions on gender disparities tend to focus on the structural challenges faced by girls and women, not boys and men.
But long-term data reveal a clear and alarming trend: In recent decades, American men have been faring increasingly worse in many areas of life, including education, workforce participation, skill acquisition, wages, and fatherhood.
Gender politics is often framed as a zero-sum game: Any effort to help men takes away from women. But in his 2022 book Of Boys and Men, journalist and Brookings Institution scholar Richard V. Reeves argues that the structural problems contributing to male malaise affect everybody, and that shying away from these tough conversations is not a productive path forward.
Read the video transcript ► bigthink.com/series/the-big-t...
0:00
1:35 Men in education
7:26 *Class matters
7:53 Men in the workforce
10:54 Men in the family
13:00 Deaths of despair
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About Richard Reeves:
Richard V. Reeves is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, where he directs the Future of the Middle Class Initiative and co-directs the Center on Children and Families. His Brookings research focuses on the middle class, inequality and social mobility.
Richard writes for a wide range of publications, including the New York Times, Guardian, National Affairs, The Atlantic, Democracy Journal, and Wall Street Journal. He is the author of Dream Hoarders (Brookings Institution Press, 2017), and John Stuart Mill - Victorian Firebrand (Atlantic Books, 2007), an intellectual biography of the British liberal philosopher and politician.
Dream Hoarders was named a Book of the Year by The Economist, a Political Book of the Year by The Observer, and was shortlisted for the Goddard Riverside Stephan Russo Book Prize for Social Justice. In September 2017, Politico magazine named Richard one of the top 50 thinkers in the U.S. for his work on class and inequality.
A Brit-American, Richard was director of strategy to the UK’s Deputy Prime Minister from 2010 to 2012. Other previous roles include director of Demos, the London-based political think-tank; social affairs editor of the Observer; principal policy advisor to the Minister for Welfare Reform, and research fellow at the Institute for Public Policy Research. Richard is also a former European Business Speaker of the Year and has a BA from Oxford University and a PhD from Warwick University.
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Read more of our stories on male inequality:
Toxic masculinity is a harmful myth. Society is in denial about the problems of boys and men.
► bigthink.com/the-present/toxi...
The understated affection of fathers
► bigthink.com/neuropsych/fathe...
Why are sitcom dads still so inept?
► bigthink.com/the-present/sitc...
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[@frogery]

The number of male therapists decreasing while the number of men needing therapy increases is worrying to think about.

[@nickblaze4066]

Men don't want to be therapists because the field is full of leftists who are constantly attacking men

[@BucketExperience]

Then women give us advice that only help women.

[@lydiahiksan1232]

@@BucketExperience Come to think of it I've never had a guy mention that he wants to be a psychologist or be in that field. Maybe men feel like that career path for them would be too hard to get into? I'm not sure but it would greatly help the mental illness crisis if we had more male therapists.

[@aam7670]

Men shouldn't go to therapy it is just a waste of money anyway. go to the gym & we should spend time with like-minded Men.

[@aaronline5889]

@lydiahiksan1232 why shouldn't men go to therapy?

[@mattimeo7612]

I remember being homeless at 17, having finally been old enough to leave my abusive home but still working my job at the coffee house. No one knew I was homeless except the cops that harassed me, ticketing me over and over for sleeping in my car, eating up my paychecks with fines until I couldn't pay anymore, at which point they put you on probation and draw out even more fines. Zero criminal record, drug-free, holding down a job, and just trying to make ends meet... It didn't matter. I was trash to be chased down by the cops. There was no help for young men. Only women's shelters. Only women's assistance. Only women's free college, etc. Your pride and sense of masculinity keeps you waiting to ask for help until you're so hungry, you can feel it up your stomach and in your throat. Then you finally seek assistance and everyone looks at you in disgust because hey, you're a man in the patriarchy right? How dare you ask for help! Then you stew in your emotions, having traded what little bit of self-respect you have left for nothing more than a horrifying reinforcement of what you already feared; you're worthless not just to the people in your life but to society as a whole. It wasn't until my probation officer came to arrest me for not showing up and found me half dead in a hospital bed with blood clots and walking pneumonia from sleeping in my car that someone took pity on me and got me out of the never ending spiral of fines for just trying to live my life. Even then, that was only after the officer tried to drag me out of bed and caused a scene with the doctors and nurses. Again, I had zero criminal record (beyond tickets for being homeless), was drug-free, and was working full time. I wasn't a leech or a danger. I was a young man on his own trying to get by and that seemed to be unacceptable for whatever reason. Thank god I made it out. A lot of young men never do.

[@muscabaxmed2100]

Painfull story. Glad you bulled through.

[@shin-ishikiri-no]

Honestly, police that harass homeless need to be put on a community list.

[@QuietEscapism]

Im so sorry to hear that. I feel like the dialogue for men's importance in society has been diminished in the last 15 years and it is very heartbreaking. We must respect ALL people and leave no one behind.

[@cherylreid2964]

Sadly, it is the CONservative, 'evangelical' white males that have set up this harassment of the less fortunate, with the backing of their women😢 I still think the power struggle against each other is the wealthy playing us😱

[@eghoghonedobor2321]

Wow. You are strong...

[@mrjdavidt]

Worked at a job where I was sexually harassed daily. Told my manager that I didn't feel comfortable and she told me "To learn to take a compliment". I quit. She emailed me two months later and asked if I wanted to come back and that she would add 3 dollars to my hourly wage. To this day I'm still pissed.

[@adanlindfield8229]

That’s terrible I’m sorry you had to go through that

[@jarl9510]

Yeah i get what you mean. The whole me to movement is a one way street in witch woman are the only victims witch isnt true.

[@HoPPtySPL]

Should take advantage and take some pictures.

[@cezaramaria6729]

@@HoPPtySPLYou are disgusting

[@hrr597]

@@jarl9510 facts

[@manufacturedfear]

Male teacher here. During our master's degree in uni, in my class we were 5 boys and 65 women 😅

[@AkshaySinghJamwal]

What subject?

[@armoredlumberjack1999]

Oh boy, i think i just found out what i wanna be in life

[@chillmechanic11]

That's probably really bad for the boys. The perfect ratio is 35% boys, 65% girls

[@You-vv1xv]

walking down the hallway after class gotta be crazy

[@zarroth]

@@armoredlumberjack1999 make that choice and all you'll be is neutered. There is way more going on than this bozo is talking about. In order to fix it, men have to first walk away from the system that is supporting it. You clearly aren't willing to do so, and it will destroy you in the end.

[@Kwashior]

It's refreshing to hear someone intelligent speak on male issues without discarding the inequality faced by women. I want an equal society for everyone.

[@v3rm1n]

There's no equality in society mate

[@ra933]

Can you name where women are facing inequality today in western society's? (Serious question)

[@v3rm1n]

@ra933 Oh sorry if you got me wrong there I didn’t mean to say it in regards of women but as a whole

[@ra933]

@@v3rm1n no worries my friend I got you, the question was not for you but for the OP ❤️

[@v3rm1n]

@@ra933 🫶🏼

[@bcfortenberry]

We can foster a better model of masculinity without diminishing the undeniable gains of feminism. We all do better when we all do better.

[@elahalilovic8565]

Thank you for this comment.

[@steveunderhill5935]

Agreed. Maybe make this the moral of gender equalitarianism, if that’s peoples goal.

[@blackairforce13]

Exactly. Men and women should flourish, support and respect each other, neither has to get the short end of the stick.

[@matt291]

I'd be happy if we stopped telling young men that they are the root of all evil. We decided it wasn't healthy to tell girls that.

[@JewTube001]

No buddy just commit to something. Don't say do better. Give a real, substantive solution.

[@MasAlaMode]

Tried to say this a few years ago and was treated like a nut

[@user-xh4xg1jf8c]

I know how that feels.

[@markpratt8048]

damn thats really sad

[@DarkKnight_4669]

yeah fr bruh

[@RayTheomo]

Alot of women spaces seem to be especially lacking in empathy for men. Mainly due to the idea that patriarchy is created and maintained by ALL men. Similar to how some minorities think ALL white people are the reason for systematic injustices and inequalities. So when someone who has literally never done anything wrong is suffering, they are treated like absolute trash. And especially made to feel like "its YOUR fault youre suffering. Do better."

[@RANDAMULOL]

i always saw an "favouritism" being on women for a while and started think society is hypocritical because they didn't even try maintain a balance on equality

[@FroggieBoi]

I love that this isn’t making it a competition about who suffers the most and it genuinely explains the problems, men are very much needed and should be made to feel so.

[@hvn17]

who said they weren’t needed? last time i checked men were believing AI generated wombs were real saying they don’t need women anymore! tuh

[@SJ-ym9nl]

Eh, maybe males are MAKING THEMSELVES obsolete via shit world views.

[@fakiv2682]

@user-db7jw8rw7x you are a part of the problem

[@evans2267]

@@user-db7jw8rw7x same goes for women

[@sophiagomez1892]

Just like how women had to fight for it against the government, the men should fight for it too.

[@safety_sid]

As a "younger" male person who graduated high school relatively recently, I can't tell you how much I appreciated my male teachers (shop teachers, and one english teacher). They taught me a lot about being a man by just acting as a role model around the classroom and showing how to properly deal with stressful situations and what not.

[@badger6882]

Happy for you! I'm in a similar position. For me, having a strong group of supportive male and female friends since high school kind of helped me to empathise with all sides and become less awkward/critical of girls than a lot of my male friends.

[@deltacharlieecho4732]

Yeah I graduated back in 2008 and I still remember the male teachers infinitely more than I remember the female teachers. The ones that I had in high school ranged the gamut from absolute geniuses to current felons, but all of them were insanely interesting. The female teachers I've had through my entire educational career barely understood the information they were teaching and many of them understood the material so poorly that it was actually being taught incorrectly. There was no male teacher that I had that didn't understand the material so deeply that they could and would often go above and beyond to teach extra information to expand the context so that their students actually and truly understood the material as well instead of teaching to the test. I had a particularly bad set of female professors in college one of which forced all of the males with the exception of me and one other guy out of her class through her completely disrespectful way of speaking to us; by the end of the semester I was the only one showing up to the class the other guy just turned in the work. The other massive failure of a female teacher that I had did not understand foundations level gestault principle and when I questioned (having already gotten an AAS in graphic design at this point) the specifics of one of her teachings of one of the principles she proceeded to kick me out of class, demand that I go see the dean of the art school, and made the remainder of my semester very difficult. When I did actually meet the dean of the fine arts school he told me that yes I was correct but I needed to learn the material the way she was teaching it, the wrong way. It's a nightmare right now. I really need to go back to school and get a degree in psych, but the probability of having to deal with female professors makes the prospect impossible to make a reality in my mind.

[@defaultgamer34857]

same

[@pdawg216]

I'm a woman and I had a huge appreciation for my male teachers. Luckily at my school there was a pretty good balance. I think they were important to me cause I only had one man in my nuclear family (dad) and we had a strained relationship Plus I just liked seeing a perspective and attitude different from my own

[@LS-du8ho]

LIFT DO PULL UPS

[@staringatthesun861]

I'm a male teacher, in middle school. At the start of my career I interviewed for 12-15 elementary school positions, and was rejected by every single one of them. I earnestly tried to teach elementary, but I just couldn't get in. I was just starting out, so one could argue that my inexperience cost me. But once I started interviewing for middle school positions, multiple schools promptly offered me a spot. I truly do believe my being male played a role in this.

[@toast7410]

I think it might have been because at my elementary school the only male teachers were about to retire and all the younger teachers were female.

[@bostonteapartycrasher]

That's because everyone's obsessed with pedophiles. Schools don't want to risk hiring a child molester.

[@apelsinuke]

really? i thought that elementary school teachers are supposed to be basically teaching basics in all subjects, while starting from middle school (year 5), we get all kinds of teachers - one teacher for each subject. that might have played a role (a certain specialization or a lack there of, that is). at least in my country, your gender would not matter. idk how it's done in america tho.

[@user-dv3ww4bm2c]

I think so too- at my elementary school there were NO male teachers whatsoever. As a child I thought it was a job only woman were allowed to have or something- I think the reason is that (this was proven in many studies) in general people tend to see men as more qualified for leading positions and woman as more caring (tho this effect can technically be reversed for example a men dressing more feminine by society standards will usually be assumed more caring then a woman dressing more masculine by society standards. So its not only the actual gender, its also clothes and some parts of looks like hairstyle and stuff)

[@sophierobinson2738]

I didn’t have a male teacher until 8th grade. 1966. Men taught at university, and science subjects in high school. Women had elementary grades, and “soft courses” in high school.

[@morcovel99]

Feeling worthless has destroyed me for the last months.

[@everglow-simp]

Good.thats how women/girls felt for the rest of history and still do.

[@TheMelloMunsta5]

@@everglow-simp The fact that this response even exists proves this entire video right...smh

[@TheMelloMunsta5]

@morcovel99 Keep your head up man, I know its rough out here...I know I'm just some random dude on the internet, but you matter bro...don't believe that banshee

[@morcovel99]

@@TheMelloMunsta5 thanks

[@Schnirt]

​@@everglow-simpI refuse to believe it's possible to be this dumb

[@justchilaxe123]

I think another key point is this new culture coming up of “hating men”. I’ve witnessed so many women exclaim something along the lines of “men are the worst” etc without thinking much of it. This further perpetuates male feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness in efforts to become equals.

[@manuella2941]

A lot of men also hate women and constantly think they are superior lol y'all are sentitive

[@septanine5936]

yeah its really echoing the 'women have a lesser capacity to ____' from the 1800s. people are patterns.

[@jille2989]

I was flabbergasted when a female friend told me that people like me just because I'm a white straight male. Even my sister had to stress the fact that I'm a white male (whatever conclusion I have to draw from that)

[@DMp-xp6mj]

The "new culture" doesn't hate men. Look around you, most politicians, CEOs, and people in power are male, if "the culture" hated men don't you think that there would be more women in power? Men and women have been bitching about one another since the dawn of time, the difference is that now they are saying it online for the world to see.

[@VErisot]

maybe ask yourself why they say hate and not just brush it of by them not thinking when saying that.

[@kumamarru5492]

One major issue with men in teaching professions, particularly around young children is the stigma around it. As a man, you can't get too friendly around children or you risk being branded a pedophile. I've seen this with my mother. We had a very nice old guy who loved children who worked at the cross walk. One day he saw that my sister's backpack was all beaten up and falling apart so he offered to help get her a new one. My mom immediately assumed ill intentions and called the school to get him fired. Imagine if we replaced that nice old man with a nice old lady. My mother, and most other parents would be singing her priases about how she went above and beyond with a single act of kindness. It's sad really. Personally, I go out of my way to avoid children. I refuse to work in any job that puts me around children, because once you have that label on you, you're screwed. I reckon it's the same for other men as well.

[@cincimoney]

Exactly! There is a double standard now thanks to all the real pedophiles that are out there. The truth is that adult women are capable of being pedophiles as well. It’s just sad all around.

[@harveybirdman2674]

If it was my mother, I would disown her on the spot , period

[@eduarduskresnapurnama2113]

agree... i want to be a teacher actually, beside that i love children but that stigma make me forget that dream...

[@mikiekearns8574]

This is Soo true. Nearly every male teacher in my school are called pedophiles while very few of the women get called so

[@siilver1]

Our history and still our present explains why men are viewed in such light! So many kids especially GIRLS AND WOMEN are sexulize,abused and harassed in schools and educational institutions by MEN! It stays true till date.

[@Icefrostmiguel]

My Dad is a retired teacher. He is medically retired now (60 yo). Every student liked him a lot. As an plastic art/drawing teacher he got to teach 6 to 14 year old boys and girls. He was so successful that everywhere I go in the town with him, every student comes to greet him with a big smile. He's never had a problem with a student (and I was his student for a year, and was on the same school for 9 years). The statues of the school, the agricultural projects such as tree planting and harvesting, the wood works, recyclable material works, drawing etc. ended when he got terribly sick. When he got weak from cancer, instead of having support, the jealousy of his women colleagues made his life very hard at work. With critics about him not following the government program and other crap. The doctors said he had to retire. After he did all these activities ended. No more clay works, wood works, recyclable works, the schools trees withered and it was a mess so bad that the school contacted him to come back. He did not. With a mental degenerative disease he is now living off agriculture with us. All in all, men teachers can offer boys some skills they might need growing up.

[@frenchie5823]

U father is a great man

[@katmcduff]

From my experience, the majority of male teachers have always been appreciated by the students, boys and girls. Some of the best teachers that I had were men. Men can be so good in taking care of others not as bread brigners, but in the kitchen (my brother cooks so well!) My brother in law is sewing dresses for his 2 daughters and he is very good at it. Men have a different approach and it completes the picture. The best psychologists that I've been dealing with were men, much less judgemental... even the gynecologist I had for my 2 pregnancies was a man... some women were much more rude in the exams... we need men in our environment to act like humans and are able to maintain a professional approach. (Sadly, there have been situations of sexual harassment) and the idea that men and women can't be friends or collaborate is the most damaging thing. We need men in our lives, boys and girls, men and women. We have the reinvent our interactions.

[@OctagonalSquare]

My favorite teacher ever is my 8th grade math teacher, and I was homeschooled until 6th grade, meaning he beats my mom on that list. He was this goobery old dude with TRIfocal glasses, fun projects every 6 weeks doing everything from basic measurements of things around our homes to planning out your budget for your entire life! He cared about his students so much but the school for some reason disliked him. A parent got mad because after she took her kids out of school for a week long vacation, they didn’t turn in the 6 week project because it was assigned while they were gone and they never asked him for it, even though it was the 4th one of the year and he told them about it before they left. Well the school made him stop doing the projects for the rest of that year. The school made him NOT challenge his students with an educational, fun, and creative project. He left a couple years after my grade to teach at a community college where I went and I ran into him my freshman year. He remembered my name and we talked for several minutes about my degree, his work. And he said he’s proud of where I am and excited to see what I’d do THAT is the kind of teachers we need. And sadly there just aren’t many now

[@Amanda-xx7sj]

Are you saying his female colleagues were jealous that he was sick?

[@beamingNG]

While your father's impact on his students and the school community is certainly commendable, there can be an opposing argument made about the role of male teachers in the education system. It's important to consider various perspectives. Some might argue that the gender of a teacher should not necessarily determine the skills or qualities they can offer to students. While your father was successful in teaching art, agriculture, and practical skills, it could be said that these skills and attributes are not inherently tied to one's gender. Teachers, regardless of their gender, can effectively impart knowledge and values to students.

[@Zei33]

Well this video made me cry. It got me thinking back to high school and the one teacher that didn’t hate me, the only male teacher. He was the only one that was able to look past my difficult personality and really understand me. It was such a difficult time dealing with undiagnosed bi polar disorder. My parents were neglectful. I had nobody. 😭

[@afernz4999]

I feel you. Some of the words of the video hit me too. Whilst better now, I have had thoughts if just removing myself... because I was useless/ worthless as a whole, to anyone including my parents.

[@Zei33]

@@auteurfiddler8706 I’m obviously not if I am watching this video about male inequality genius 🙄

[@afernz4999]

@@auteurfiddler8706 Not sure who you are replying to, but I am not a female.

[@auteurfiddler8706]

@@Zei33 Half of the comments are from women, so maybe they know what is going on, too.

[@auteurfiddler8706]

@@afernz4999 I was replying to zei33

[@veronicavids]

It's embarrassing how little we consider mens issues, but like Richard Reeves mentioned, this is a brand new problem in our society. The Me Too movement was groundbreaking, even though it wasn't even a decade ago. Now we've started conversations around the struggles of men and boys. We need to continue to educate ourselves to have better role models for the next generation. Thank you for shining a light on this issue.

[@ethanesslinger9805]

This has been getting progressively worse since the 70's, it's not new at all. The screams for help are just too loud for people to ignore without it being outright intentional and malicious.

[@akur3578]

The "meToo" movement was probably the worst event for men and harmed so many innocent men and thus was part of the problem. Modern day feminism probably harmed men more than you thing and it is not because of addressing womens issues, but because of the demeaning nature of looking at men problems and all the men hating "pig" calling situations that happened afterwards. Instant of being happy, the reaction was intoxicated by emotions and behaviors like: Arrogance, proud, ridicule, self love (narcissism (care, selfrespect is good and healthy, "self-love" is narcissistic) and more.

[@thecarlhinkson]

As a young black man I am glad to see this topic being discussed in this way. I lost my little brother to suicide about 5 years ago and one thing that was evident is that he felt strangled by the pressures of society at just 16. More discussions need to be had about what it means to be a man in this time. It is tough trying to be an upstanding man when the level of expectation is unrealistic and does not match the reality of roles and responsibilities being played out in society. It is also tough to prosper as a man when major industries that promote sedentary behavior (gaming and television) and illegal drugs are exploiting media outlets to numb men into a malaise. I don’t have the answers, but the fact that this dialogue is beginning is a good sign.

[@2006glg]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[@quitpmoforgood687]

Sorry for your loss.

[@NotMuchThanks]

Sorry for your loss and thank you for your testimony.

[@DK-ym8jr]

I'm sorry about your loss man

[@NotMuchThanks]

@@bluestreak6532 blacks literally weren't allowed to attend any higher education at all like 50 years ago. Ignorance always has a big mouth, kid.

[@dsgant1616]

Male preschool teacher here- I’m so thankful for the information and tact presented here. It’s a touchy subject because humans tend to choose “one side or the other” and thus miss out on important truths such as those gathered in research for this segment. I have that much more pride in doing what I do after watching- thank you

[@seiwarriors]

@@JupiterThunder Not entriely true but it is preferable to have a female as it a female dominated industry.

[@kaleido9631]

[@Mountainlion118]

@@JupiterThunder Statistics?

[@kimberleybrown3107]

Agreed. I teach middle school. As a female, there is only so much I can do to provide an example and compassion for those boys. I wish we had more good male teachers! Thank you so much for your work.

[@kevinfeng1113]

Humans don't tend to choose one side or the other, it's the media dividing people so they get more clicks. On the other hand, the rich know this and they cooperate a lot, they don't choose one side, they try to choose every side.

[@josephgendill4091]

I totally agree with you 100% and have personally felt and experienced most of what you are taking about. It's difficult to thrive in a society that says it doesnt need you and demonizes your very identity. But at the end of the day, all you really want is purpose and to feel needed.

[@snatchery]

literally who is “demonizing your identity” for being a man lmfao. yall want to be the victim so bad.

[@Dennis-nc3vw]

@@snatchery You literally made this comment with in minutes of saying we shouldn't care about men's issues because we commit too much crime. Gee, I wonder.

[@elcapitan6126]

​@@snatcheryactually you want to be the victim so bad (and you projected that onto the commenter). indeed it's *assumed* that women are the victim even when men are (see domestic abuse cases for rife hypocrisy in treatment). alas your victim status does mean the world isn't testing you much so you won't gain any grit to deal with difficult circumstances *where there is no social support*.

[@user-ly4ig2rq4o]

Just follow God

[@falalala83]

The fact that this video has so many views shows how much people care, yet it isn’t being publicized. It’s silenced. As someone with ADHD, I was even more disadvantaged than others. I am currently the very bottom student in my major. But I’m also one of few students who interned with one of Elon Musk’s companies. Something is seriously wrong.

[@tamnker8465]

Because people like it, but it doesn’t make them angry enough to comment. Anger gets engagement, engagement makes the algorithm push things.

[@coardlowery322]

So you interned with a company under a guy actively making people stupider. I can see why you're in a pickle.

[@lucysmith4242]

Don't do it man. Space X, and Tesla are shit holes. Get your internships and get out

[@evanmeacham2395]

​@@lucysmith4242I second that

[@ionescusarah5398]

Well, everyone has problems, like the fact that they test adhd meds just on boys, not girls. Women are responding via a feedback mechanism.

[@brooksmusic79]

I like this. It’s not someone ranting on Twitter. It’s someone respectfully and calmly discussing a topic that could be considered controversial.

[@av3nger3]

Only an illiterate idiot would consider this controversial

[@5yrsand-bs9uf]

What's a twitter

[@5yrsand-bs9uf]

@@gezenews Feminism in the 70s was just the lesbian movement in disguise...and Feminism now is just plain Evil and Toxic

[@rat2316]

@@gezenews blue birld of ilon mask

[@notmyname3947]

@@5yrsand-bs9uf bro your username trick me 😂

[@remirussin7240]

“It’s often seen as ‘who’s side are you on,’ instead of being on the side of human flourishing” It’s so refreshing to see this issue given its own space to be discussed, instead of being weaponized as a bad faith rebuttal against women’s issues. Society need to talk about this, and we need to do it in solidarity with women and feminism, as opposed to in contrast to it

[@benb3500]

Modern feminism is not on the side of women. It pushes women into the workforce and significantly downplays the importance and life satisfaction most women have from motherhood.

[@remirussin7240]

@@benb3500 women are equipped to decide for themselves where they derive their importance and life satisfaction

[@benb3500]

@@remirussin7240 Not really. From school it is being expected that they have to join the workforce and they are being completely under-equipped for motherhood. There is a reality that most (not all) women derive life satisfaction from motherhood not career. Yet society is trying to get them into the workforce. It's damaging not just for the women, but society also. Since career only satisfys women for a short time, then when the motherhood clock chimes and they realise the emptiness in career over children. Leads to resentful women that are not focused on their job as a man would be.

[@Banana-eb8qr]

@@benb3500 same thing can be said about men. In reality, parenthood for both men and women is one of the most life fulfilling experiences. You’ll get those exceptions in both genders. People in the west seem to be more concerned with hedonism rather than long term relationships and making sacrifices for loved ones.

[@benb3500]

@@Banana-eb8qr Absolutely. Look how we structure and promote hedonism into society. 18th birthdays more often than not are expected to be a drunken boozefest. Bachalor parties before the wedding likewise. Its almost getting to the point where marriages that last are in the minority. There is no pressure on men to stay married, used to be heavy stigmas attached to deadbeat dads. Womens expectations of men are also unreal, and visa versa.

[@cheesypoofpoofs7700]

I am a woman, and I care about Men’s treatment and well-being, just as I care about Women’s. I don’t understand why it has to be either or.

[@iloveturtles946]

As a man, let me just say, it's hard to find a woman with such feelings about this topic. I really appreciate that you don't go on the either or side, and instead go on equality.

[@cheesypoofpoofs7700]

@@iloveturtles946 It’s sad that it’s hard to find women that also care about Men’s feelings, treatment & well being.

[@ganyu_literally]

hey, you dropped this queen 🫴🏻👑

[@cameronpigott2746]

Don't forget about DEI. Most HR are quicker to hire a female than a male.

[@sydnney4148]

What is DEI?

[@fatalerror8943]

Diversity Equity and Inclusion. It's the latest form of affirmative action that not only allows but requires race discrimination against whites and Asians, and sex discrimination against males. Those who use it claim it doesn't do that but that is not what Equity means. It is being done to as an apology for past and supposed current transgressions against people who aren't a victim of any of them today but it is a spit in the face to people who have never alive to have committed those transgressions. Within the last couple years, and especially since the turn of 2024, people were starting to catch on to this so they are planning on renaming it soon, to BRIDGE from what I hear.

[@steve3131]

@@fatalerror8943 and the fact AWFLs (Affluent White Female Leftists) are the prime movers behind DEI. And they are selfish, obnoxious and grotesquely overprivileged compared to 99.9999999% of the world's population. None of this is coincidental.

[@lettersfromclaire]

I have a younger brother, only 24. And he has struggled. His relationship with our father is tense/nonexistent. He has struggled with substance abuse, addiction, and I’m sure anxiety and depression though they were never officially diagnosed… He is adverse to any form of therapy, and it took nearly 5 years of convincing to get him into a small college. Our father sees him as a failure and a bum, and it breaks my heart because I don’t see him that way. I see him as my younger brother who loved to tinker with toys and build and create things. Just because he didn’t love traditional school (he wasn’t even a bad student, just not at the very top), it built a bad relationship with our father, and thus, I believe, pushed him into this “malaise”… where he just on the surface seems very behind in life. This man’s work helped me to give voice to what I believed my younger brother has been suffering from and is having to deal with. Thank you, A Big Sister

[@refthegeneric]

That must be really heartbreaking. I'm hoping the best for you and your siblings❤

[@StrangeAttractor]

it's incredible how many parents have lofty standards for their kids then do nothing but criticise them. My dad hammered it into me that I must follow him to Oxbridge, but never once did he help me with my homework, or indeed anything at all. Lazy, lazy parenting. We haven't spoken in years.

[@lancegeorge71]

As a male around that age (just turned 25), who has lived with most of those things myself. Those things don't define me, they refine me, it's a lot, but it helps build strength and character. Your brother is strong if he is still able to manage everything. Though I hope he changes his mind about therapy, I understand the mindset and costs, but it's a tool that exists to help people. I obviously don't know your father, but I hope they are able to reconcile. Also, tell your father (without damaging your own relationship) that “failures and bums” are those who don't support their family.

[@vettemuziekjes]

your parents were toxic assholes

[@balasaashti3146]

My younger brother is very similar. He'll eventually put a led through his thinking box, sadly like several of my friends and a couple of his own have already done. I would assume it sucks for him seeing his younger sister accomplishing things in life while he hasn't even held a girls hand. My mother finally noticed and asked me how to solve it, me being a idiot though I just told her just like me and my elder brother will keep working at life entail we can't anymore then take our leave. No one cares about how we are doing and nor should they care, not their damn problem. Hope your brother gets better though, my little brother helps me rebuild trucks on his off time away from work keeps the mind off of things.

[@MrMikethe311fan]

As a 38 year old man, that often times feels worthless, this video is powerful. Thank you for doing this research. I know this sounds weird, but it makes me feel like I'm not alone when I hear that other men struggle with these issues, and doesn't make me feel as hopeless.

[@kimberleybrown3107]

To the contrary... you are very much needed in our world, as the research bears out.

[@Onion_of_Ultimate_Concern]

I feel like this everyday.

[@phillynurse9492]

I’m so glad you found comfort and validation in the video, and if we can keep this narrative going towards acknowledgment and resolutions, perhaps we can find our way back to each other in the spirit of decreasing this loneliness and isolation that so many men are feeling. The woman in me wants to run in and nurture the pain away but this is a journey that only the men can travel and solve. Please know that there are women who do care.

[@michaelgarrow3239]

Um,,, this guy is a joke. Women are supposed to make babies… they aren’t. Women are just more simpleminded.

[@laziboy009]

None of these are issues women don't also face...

[@cosmicmelon9305]

The meat grinder is running low on meat, so now it's a problem.

[@Pistolita221]

Yup.

[@BigMan-cp4pi]

so true. They would not give a single fuck if it wasn't beginning to show in the employment data. Now they care, as they know they will still need plumbers, electricians, critical infra. And women have no interest en masse of doing those jobs

[@jimsimpson1006]

And will get worse, as a whole generation of young women appear to have zero interest in having babies.

[@Pistolita221]

@@BigMan-cp4pi It would be sexist to expect women to take jobs that are as dangerous as what everyone expects men to do. But don't say that bias is benevolent sexism, it's *so* offensive to radfems when you point out their contradictory opinions. And don't ask for data, it's all vibes.

[@BigMan-cp4pi]

@@Pistolita221 yep. But we are going to be alive to see how this plays out. Gen Z have no interest in going into the trades ( don't blame them). The day is coming I personally think where men are going to be forced to work, but I'm hoping that is the day even blue pilled simps wake up

[@ushaannadevara7343]

Videos that are actually educating and not against one gender like these are what this world needs more of

[@xolang]

Back in 2019 I got a job teaching schoolchildren up to grade 3. The school wanted to keep me and intended on letting me teach children up to 5th grade, yet after a month of probationary period, I decided not to continue there. What struck me was the fact that boys, whom I had taught for merely a month, cried on my last day. Some of the other -more experienced- teachers said that the boys cried because they were losing a male teacher.

[@robynology101]

I’m a female primary school teacher and this totally makes sense. Your loss must have been heartbreaking for those boys (and girls!) as they had probably very few or no male teachers to look up to at school before you.

[@CB-dl1vg]

I never met my dad growing up, neither did a lot of my friends (poor neighbourhood) I had one male teacher in primary school and honesty I loved him. He had a huge impact on my life, I think at the time I saw him as a surrogate father. When I moved into his teaching year I went from an average student to top of he class, I started to love going to school, he coached the football team and I eventually made Captain. That man was a godsend in my life. There’s something to be said for young boys having more male role models around

[@adityachaudhary554]

🤔

[@runcandy3]

I'm a male teacher, and many of my students take me as a surrogate dad by default because they are so desperate for that type of figure.

[@georgeochenge6360]

@@CB-dl1vg thank you for being such an important figure to the boys

[@IB-mo2yh]

I say this as a woman...who deeply respects and loves her father...I would not be where I am in life if it were not for him. AND THIS MAN VS WOMAN thing NEEDS TO END. ENOUGH OF THIS MAN! We are meant to be together, for each other not AGAINST each other. We need each other. Men have an equally important role in forming our society as women, we cannot neglect that. Yes, women were abused in the past but it is time we move forward in A HEALTHY WAY, not bearing grudges constantly for what was done in the past because it is not gonna reverse anything. We both need to accept one another and look out for each other actively. There is no way around.

[@shamszaza6609]

wow >> word of wisdom >> can i ask you a question? what do you think about relationship between man and woman in Muslim family ??

[@IB-mo2yh]

@@shamszaza6609 family is family...be it Muslim or Christian...if you don't have love and respect which reflects in how you pay attention to the other one's boundaries and wishes...there is no book Bible or Quran or Hadith that can save the marriage...most marriages these days are just on pen and paper...the marriage is just like a dead leaf that has lost its colour but is still attached to the branch...be it for family, or honour or money but that's reality. You will see this a lot in Asian families be it Indian Arab East Asian....the husband is busy watching politics, the wife is busy gossiping with or against relatives or sometimes come together to traumatize the child...but they don't really give a damn about each other. The love basically ain't there.

[@shamszaza6609]

@@IB-mo2yh Well done, but believe me, religion has a big role in preserving this love and affection between spouses.. For example, in Islam there are many verses and hadiths that link the afterlife reward with being kind to one’s wife and playing with her. Once a man keeps this in mind, he will look at his family as a treasure and will never feel bored with them...

[@IB-mo2yh]

@@shamszaza6609 umm bruh believe me non religious are just not afraid to say it out loud and the god fearing and society fearing people just keep it within themselves...but the feeling is the same...I say this from seeing this play out in front of my own eyes in my family as well as other families..and the Islam stuff ur talking about....there is literally 72 virgins hadith in Islam...so if a man is motivated by 72virgins where is the love? Where is the commitment? And don't u think the wife would be mad jealous...? I am not saying that all Muslim men are like thinking about 72 virgins constantly but for the sake of rationality think about it...

[@jhdsfalsjhdfjashdkhvjfldld8301]

Modern feminism is a cancer

[@graham2088]

Genuinely, a very good video ive seen in 2024. Well done for thinking through the patterns and publishing the work. Wish you best!

[@VarunStream]

In 2003 I was doing research for an article about overachieving kids who win science fairs and other academic competitions. Turned out they belonged to specific racial communities in the US. I interviewed several parents for insights. The most telling one was with a rocket scientist dad of an Intel Scholarship winning kid. He said it boils down to family. “Chances are if the family unit is stable (husband & wife) the kids will be smarter - boys or girls. There is no substitute for attentive, supportive and caring parents.” That stuck.

[@childfreesingleandatheist8899]

I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to figure that out.

[@so_rise]

Wow I'll meditate on that. Given that my parents are distant and I'm at the age where I need to start paying my bills (late 18yrs old). But, from a poor social class with little education in a foreign country, with no family members apart from my father who wants to go back to his country and I'm lost and unsure what I should do with my life.

[@OpLapDancePikachu69]

my dad was highly educated but mostly absent while i was growing up. my mom wasn’t as educated as him but cuz i was a sick kid she had to give up her career to take care of me and so she became a stay at home mom. while i was going through school i noticed a lot of my friends who were doing significantly better than me came from stable families with parents that encouraged them and supported them through their childhoods. seeing all of them kinda made me just feel dejected all the time and useless since anything i learnt or did, they’d do better. education has always been a struggle for me and once i got to college it just got worse. i don’t have any passions and i don’t know what i ever wanted to be when i grew up. now i am a full adult who is a dropout with no useful skills no useful knowledge and probably no future. i don’t even kno how to be a “man”

[@mariasulaiman7180]

@@so_rise you'll get there. I believe that life is fair somehow. If you didn't have the helpful social status, I'm sure there's something else in your pocket that will raise your chances in life: maybe a good genes 🧬 or a one-of-a-kind mentor....or any other bounties sent your way...just keep going

[@patdainel9037]

@@childfreesingleandatheist8899 well played. Well played

[@Chelsleen]

I'm 28 now. I have a little boy who's currently 21 months, and I will I not allow the society to roll right past him and leave him behind as I almost was. Unlike the majority of my generation, he will learn his worth at a reasonably young age and not be left alone to suffer hard lesson after hard lesson. I will be there to take his hand and guide him to what it means to be a good man because I felt what it was like to go without that male guidance. To any young men out their 15+ feeling lost and tribeless you need to know that you are worthy of love and admiration, and you are in fact not useless.

[@Fallensky17]

Lucky for you man. I’m almost 31 and crossed that bridge. No family/kids or purpose.

[@kevinantony7147]

The problem of being tribless, unwanted, unloved is that everyone tells us that we are capable of being loved and that we are worthy of it but nobody ends up choosing us.

[@Jack-si2pg]

Teach him to seek Christ and Biblical values. That will help him more than anything else.

[@noazucar519]

I think it's great you're stepping up as a father. So many men back in the day didn't fulfill that emotional role because they thought being a father meant just working on providing.

[@TheKaos8]

@@Fallensky17 I am 42, male no family/kids. But that is not the only purpose in life. I try to make the world a little better for my friends, my wider family (my nieces) and everyone else. Thats more than enough purpose in life for me. What i am trying to say Family/kids does not equal purpose. It can be one, but its only one out of a load of things that can give you purpose. If you feel purposeless because of this go soulsearching. I assure you there is purpose, but i cannot give it to you.

[@rainypeople]

My dad right now is working two jobs as a public high-school teacher and adjunct professor because he doesn’t have a master’s degree and feels that he needs to, at the very least, pull his own weight in the family. My mom is the breadwinner, so I’ve seen him have trouble borrowing money from her, or just borrowing money in general because he comes from a generation which taught him to be useful, provide for his family and not be a burden. He’s going for his master’s degree now, so hopefully things turn around soon. I just pray he doesn’t lose it until then.

[@j10001]

Let him know you believe in him, need him, and value him. Speaking as a dad myself. It means so much!

[@auteurfiddler8706]

Where I live you need to have a masters to be an adjunct professor except if you are teaching tech classes at community college. Then you need the professional certifications, usually.

[@mohamedsakka2338]

This is one of the best videos I ever seen putting the issues in perspective, great work

[@junior3dc]

I cannot understate how much I appreciate complex controversial topics being spoken about in such an intelligent and respectful manner. Edit to Add: I realize there’s a grammatical error or two in this post. And I don’t care. I think most folks know what I meant. I’m human. So are you. I will not edit this mistake.

[@llywelynddraig853]

True. So much today is written just to keep the idiots plasid. Drives me crazy.

[@fredbyoutubing]

I miss college for that

[@supercrazyvideosofpointlessstu]

He's speaking of women being in education as if it was actually a good thing. Women are the ones that want to coddle and infantilize everybody into the infants they never had. They are the ones promoting all of this 9 year olds getting "gender affirmation" surgery, feminist indoctrination, and so on. The Zoomers never had a chance, and that was because they were raised by single mothers and "educated" by women.

[@justme5429]

Exactly, it’s hard to find videos on topics like this that aren’t just one-sided and dissing the other side. Such a breath of fresh air.

[@flickwtchr]

I don't appreciate so much being left out of the analysis. The biggest driver of any inequality in the US, whether it be a gender gap or otherwise is the sociopathic greed of the 1% neoliberal policies of redistribution of resources from the masses to their control for profit. No one from the Brookings Institute will focus on that part of the equation, that's for damn sure.

[@Papi_Chulito]

My mother was a single parent. She worked two jobs so we never saw her. In 6th grade I got a job illegally working on a ranch with grown men to help support my family. From that point on I have been working, just imagine 6th grade! My older sister is two years older than me and while she wasn’t at all pressured into getting a job me being the male of the family I felt the strong urge to help provide. Needless to say I lost my childhood and I grew up way too fast, nobody else in my class ever experienced anything remotely close to it. It definitely made me stronger and wiser than my peers, but I suffered and still do. I’ve always thought that all of my suffering came from not having a dad and honestly it brings me peace to know I was right. I’m now a father and I’ve gone down the “best dad ever” path and I’m able to fix my past by giving an incredible childhood to my kid. Guys just know that you ARE needed.

[@grizzlymm]

Thanks brudda and may God bless ya

[@victorkreig6089]

Of all the jobs you could have been saddled(lol) with, you chose probably the best one. Ranch hands take care of their own and do their best to help each other if they're able; you grew up with quite a few good role models there I would assume as bad eggs generally don't last more than a season before they're tossed for being douchebags

[@maxonmendel5757]

thank you. I just lost my job. I have no hard skills or training. I am about to get married. I feel like I don't have anything going for me

[@Papi_Chulito]

@@maxonmendel5757 at first glance it seems to be that way. Every day we wake up is another day to better ourselves. Nobody knows anything about a subject until they put time and effort into it. You don’t have to move mountains today, just start somewhere and go from there. You also said you’re about to get married! Congratulations btw and just know that your partner needs you and you will find a way to provide somehow someway. Keep going and never give up, you ARE needed.

[@Sol-ps8ox]

You did good. Especially being the 'best dad ever' part.

[@SaveageQueen89]

This is really informative. Another reason for the lack of men in heal jobs and teaching, is because for decades it was advised that women work these jobs. Addressing men’s mental health, quality of life and personal success is critical. We probably wouldn’t see these issues if gender equality happened a few hundred years earlier.

[@DarkMachine2501]

Hard agree. Wanted to add a comment to the point below: "Is because for decades it was advised that women work these jobs." ← Yes, and as a result, most of those jobs are disrespected, undervalued and, most importantly, underpaid. Men, who are STILL expected to be breadwinners (and receive positive discrimination in certain sectors as a result), choose not to go into these jobs because they are told the jobs have no value and not suitable for men. Similarly, vocational jobs are undervalued because there's a weird stereotype that "anyone can do that", along with a hard ceiling on salaries which is continuously coming down.

[@tedosmond413]

I wonder what issues there will be a few hundred years in the future that they will say should have been resolved now?

[@ricecakemadness7578]

Define "gender equality"

[@user-db7jw8rw7x]

We see this happening because gender quality has not happened. What has happened is that men have been removed from their roles without being given any new role, and women have been given no role, just "freed" from their previous roles. This has been achieved through ideologies that demonise men and promote unhealthy promiscuous behaviours in women, which has damaged three generations of men and women. Gender equality as a notion without a plan is just deconstructionism masquerading as a value structure.

[@Vishnuk-fe9iv]

​@@DarkMachine2501wrong. Noone disrespects these jobs. Its women who disrespects and are sexists to others.

[@Jojosardus]

His opening is so true, I can think of several young ladies I could send this to and the title alone would probably make them laugh

[@HyphaeHighway]

To them, ignorance and mockery are preferable to a little reflection and a shift of views. Society encourages this sort of arrogance, especially Western society.

[@evindrews]

yeah. older women I have talked too surprisingly are so thoughtful about this. but I imagine sharing this with my peers that are women it would be like hellfire.

[@jemairlalavender-gs6ji]

@@HyphaeHighwayIGNORANCE? projecting. misogynist

[@jemairlalavender-gs6ji]

@@evindrewsmaybe because the older generation still has stereotypical views rooted in gender roles, misogyny and the patriarchy and our generation is actually holding men accountable. you’re being misogynistic

[@tyronelorenzovalentio3414]

@@jemairlalavender-gs6ji job women

[@9runes]

I hate that as men, we are seen as the enemy, as disposable, as tools to push everyone and everything else forward. Our feelings and our crises are pushed aside and we’re told that it’s harder for everyone else, completely invalidating our feelings which we’ve been ironically told to share an exorbitant amount of times. It’s a frustrating time to be a man, and I can only hope that tomorrows boys can bounce back from the issues that have been laid at their feet.

[@idkwhy77]

as a 16 yr old guy still in school, i do get nervous entering the real world after hearing these but knowing I was lucky to be born in a good kind family who will support me keeps me going strong. I cannot imagine those less fortunate in this situation. At the end of the day, we gotta keep pushing through I guess, it sucks and it needs to be spoken about as well. I hope you do well.

[@spunkinater]

I got a hot take but one I feel is engrained in reality: Before the age of feminism and women's rights, men had better social economics. Women had no rights, but conversely, men were expected to take care of his woman. In turn, this woman would take care of the home and man would be held accountable for providing. There was a significant layer of responsibility on the man, for he was the leader of his family. Men had the right to vote and women didn't, but it was more of a privilege, and one that came at the cost of bucket duty, selective service, carrying on well enough in society, risking himself at a job, etc. Men had the weight of the world and their family on his shoulders. Women did not. For protection, for entitlement to his provisions, women were second class citizens. While man took a higher risk in the day to day world to take care of his woman, socially, it was evened out by the woman being under his governance and protection. Now adays, men are still expected to bear the greatest risk in society: Go to war, hold the most dangerous jobs that keep everything working, men are expected to still defend women when threatened, etc. But men also are forced to step aside for women, and to treat them as equals, even though women do not have to go to war, divorce rates are high and courts overwhelmingly side with women to take the purse and the kids, education favors a style that suits women, most women still expect a man to pay on a date, and of course........quota hires and DEI........... It is as though I've borrowed money from my lender, and have told him it isn't fair for me to pay him back because.....oppression..... Modern social economics do not favor men. So many go the way of the beautiful ones from the mouse utopia experiment, only tending to ourselves obsessively with barely a social responsibility to speak of. No family. No social currency. Modern man is poor. Future man is bankrupt.

[@trolleriffic]

@@spunkinater You've been given a very odd view of the past. Women always had rights and in many cases, even going back to medieval times and before, women had more rights and fewer responsibilities than men. There may have been some rights afforded to men that women didn't have but there were far fewer than is commonly believed. Men didn't have the right to vote for almost the whole of human history and neither did women. Enfranchisement and participation in the political system of a country was denied to all but a tiny and incredibly privileged minority, and that's been true from the creation of the first political systems up until only a few generations ago. It wasn't sex that made you a second class citizen, it was wealth and class. A large proportion of British men who fought in WW1 (I think it was around 40-50%) didn't have the right to vote for the politicians who had sent them to fight and die in the trenches. It wasn't until 1918 that they were given the vote and it didn't take long after that for the same right to be extended to women in 1926. - many women could vote after 1918 but younger women had to wait until 1926 in the same way that younger men had to wait until 1918. It's not exactly centuries of systematic oppression to wait 8 more years compared to the whole of political history when none of these people could have voted, and by framing the issue in terms of women's rights, it's diverting attention away from the more serious and ongoing issue of how your wealth and class affect every aspect of your life including the rights you effectively enjoy. Another myth is the idea that women didn't work. That might have been true for an upper class or upper-middle class woman with a wealthy husband, but the vast majority of women, whether they were married or not used to work. Sometimes in paid employment, but often self-employed providing services such as repairing clothes, cleaning, cooking, child care, and seasonal work was very common and often involved whole families travelling to the countryside to be labourers when it was time to harvest the crops.

[@spunkinater]

@@No-xs1no educated response

[@spunkinater]

@@No-xs1no You wanna elaborate

[@newaveride3396]

I run programs for juvenile boys. And let me tell you, he is spot on. Reprogramming them to find a purpose and get educated is hard. What works for us is re-introducing the “productive male figure” through intense mentorship. We have seen much success, even with boys who are incarcerated. Let’s keep this conversation going🙏🏽

[@demoneyes86]

I'm lucky myself to have never needed of any of this programs but I want to thank you for your time and effort to give a young man the chance to seek a better future and guide them

[@VVayVVard]

I used to think studying was pointless. My grades were the worst in my class. One day, when I was 12, I was talking to my studious friend, and he told me that the reason he studied hard and aimed to maintain a high GPA was to get into a prestigious university, because this, he explained, would give him a better chance at landing a high-paying job as a lawyer. According to him, studying hard as a child was the easiest way to maximize your chances to get rich as an adult. This blew my mind. It was the first time anyone ever explained to me the fact that studying might actually produce real-life benefits, even if you didn't want to become a scientist or engineer. I had thought that studying was just a process of memorizing massive amounts of useless information. I literally had no idea it was virtually all you needed to do to land certain types of high-paying jobs. Up until then, I hadn't even realized that actions performed today could pave the way for a better future. I didn't understand that people could actually live for the future. I had thought life was all about trying to have fun, and scraping by. After that day, I started studying hard. Originally, I just wanted to improve my chances to get rich, like my friend did. After a couple years, I began outperforming everyone else in my class in terms of STEM and language grades. Thanks to other positive influences, my life priorities changed along the way, and I ended up becoming an academic research scientist. My successes were a result of my studying hard, and ultimately, I owe them all to my friend, who gave me the motivation to start. Had I never met him, I honestly think I would have ended up a failure, since my own parents, and most other people around me, were terrible sources of influence. As I see it, the biggest problem in school culture (where I'm from) is that no one really explains that studying hard can lead to concrete benefits. Children don't understand the big picture, so they don't see the value of amassing knowledge for its own sake. And the vast majority certainly don't believe they can―or even want to―become scientists or engineers. So the easiest way to motivate them is to explain to them what my friend explained to me: get good grades and you have a shot at getting into a good uni, and get into a good uni and you have a shot at landing a lucrative job. Virtually every child understands the value of money. There are of course other ways, such as using educational stories to convey the value of knowledge, or making studying more engaging with games or entertainment. And so on. But using money as a motivator is a lot simpler and easier, and that's why I feel it's the best place to start.

[@Cecilia-ky3uw]

I don't believe a productive male figure is needed, no need for figures, I think we should rather just let them feel out the world and approach it the way they will, humans will learn by themselves

[@jacksonpeterson4874]

Men compete in reward based systems. They won't (and probably can't ) just take orders for no reason. Without some tangible goal and reward men won't participate. Women will participate just because that's what they are told to do.

[@newaveride3396]

@@Cecilia-ky3uw you are wrong.

[@rthomas5168]

Thank you so much for sharing this. ❤

[@Fallensky17]

Going on 31, my dad got diagnosed with cancer when I was 16, attempted suicide at 17 in front of me, when I was 18 i was there when they told him your terminal. I took care of him mentally, physically, and financially. Putting my own dreams and aspirations in the trash to spend as much time as I can. He died October 2021. Now it feels like playing catch up with no hope in sight. I’ve never dated, I’ve always been low wage , anything I did make went to help my parents. I was born with a heart condition so always been overweight. I’ll just say the number of times I’ve been close to ya know has been hundreds. I would agree with feeling useless and worthless. I’m invisible to society. I gave up years ago having a normal life I’m just drifting at this point occasionally enjoying hobbies. The only family I have left is my mom at this point. After her I see no point.

[@abrahamarzola9820]

I can say nothing because I feel exactly the same, but in a different situation, let me tell you something: There is no use expecting to find anything in others, we have to sail alone, enjoy the sea on the way... nobody will jump in our boats (I know I'm a married man with two children) only woman and children got somebody on their boats, but occasionally another boat will join your way for time to time, visualize a coast in the horizon and keep going there.

[@andrewkulubi9919]

I hope you find more to keep you going man.

[@mister_stalker.8813]

Hey, you still have hope. Just try finding it, don't surrender.

[@mister_stalker.8813]

I would love to have a conversation with you, help you out.

[@darklordsauron3415]

GG m8

[@hogibunz834]

As a male in todays world. I have never felt more lonely, hated, and useless. It’s terrible.

[@jayc342009]

A society that treats its men like shit will crumble.

[@Concatenate]

Probably social media driving that. YOU are valuable and important and necessary. Do the things you love and take what you can out of life. No one is going to give it to you, take joy in working and serving others. Understand what you have control over, your own words, actions and intentions. Do good and be happy and satisfied with living a simple, quiet life. I wish the best for you.

[@stultuses]

You are NOT useless and you ARE needed

[@gal_targareayn6721]

We love you :)

[@jacquelinebriggs7153]

You are NOT USELESS. What hurts me the most is the fact that some of us usually attach our worth to finances and other things. What makes you WORTHY is who you ARE. There is no one else like you!

[@JamesKovacic]

I’m tired of pressure to compete with others. I just wanna live and know that alone is enough

[@ambrotose]

10 years ago, I knew the issue was there, but when I said something, i was instantly attacked and labeled a villain. It really is shitty.

[@deusvult77]

I'm a 39 year old man who grew up without a father and it still affects me today. I have a family of my own now, but I feel like I don't know what I'm doing sometimes. It's insane how men can't talk about their problems without being made fun of, but yet at the same time we are told to be open and honest about our feelings.

[@Pistolita221]

It's such obnoxious gaslighting to have to pretend isn't real.

[@Pistolita221]

@@punkinhoot Shh, don't remind leftists they're supposed to focus on class not genetic essentialism and virtue signaling, we might get somewhere.

[@zuzanazuscinova5209]

That happens to everyone. Male or female. Life sucks.

[@VioletDeathRei]

@@Pistolita221 You can see it in the video and in all the top comments every single issue you every try to bring up has to be prefaced with "I know women have it worse and are right about everything always" before showing straight up statistically that statement is untrue but they have to do it anyway.

[@dark12ain]

Man I feel the same exact way about my daughter I feel so clueless out here. Like I'm trying to make money for her and also me and my bills. Her mom keeps telling me I'm a good dad but I already know I'm not.

[@moonleung6384]

As a female I appreciate how brave he is for talking about something that nobody seems to know or care about. He doesn't villify women in his arguments because he knows society needs BOTH men and women to flourish, and that makes me respect him. This video really puts into perspective what my male friends go through, why they always seem so unhappy, and why they never talk about it even when I ask. On the topic of our education system, I cannot agree more that it needs to change. Quick. It's rigid, outdated, and discriminates across so many sectors. It's simply not built with humanity in mind, much less for males and anybody else whose minds function on practicality and purpose. Heck, even as a girl with high academic performance, I am one of those people. If you're a guy reading this, please know that there are plenty of people (male or female or other) who understand and acknowledge your struggles. The number of people in the comments who resonate with the topic is proof enough. It is not your fault that you are suffering. Nobody can tell you that you're useless and don't deserve to exist, not even yourself! It is okay to be upset about these issues, because they are certainly happening and are hurting you. Just don't fall into the trap of hatred; hating because you feel hated never balances out the equation, it just perpetuates the vicious cycle. Instead, know that you can reach out to people you can trust and respect! Edit: Being independent and capable of handling things on your own is a positive trait and proves you are mature. Still, mature people are still people with emotions and circumstance, not to mention the kind of world we live in now. If you don't have anyone immediately around to talk to in bad times, there are different kinds of professional mental health support systems out there. And sometimes, the people you know might seem unapproachable, but you might be surprised by how understanding they actually are. You don't have to tell everything, just letting them know you need a little help can be enough.

[@based854]

thank you.

[@alexosow]

Thank you.

[@theshepherdsdog]

simple analogy: nobody happily benefits from the patriarchy

[@bear6236]

W women

[@beringarius4065]

Stfu there aren't people who are " out there and acknowledge your struggles ". You learned nothing from this video at all. That's the issue, nobody is out there that cares.

[@Petter.]

In elementary and middle school, we (the boys) were always so exited and interested when we had male teachers, which often were limited to gym and 1 additional subject. I have done it pretty well all my academic life, but the fact that the other boys, those who never listened, did much better with male teachers, is worth considering.

[@VErisot]

Maybe if boys had respect for women that wouldn't be an issue. I don't think its a lack of male teachers that is the issue but rather misogyny. Female students don't have issues with not listening to male teachers. Boys are just rowdy in school in general.

[@sanchitaagte8215]

@@VErisothit the nail on the head. something similar happened in my high school math class - a female teacher chimed in cause our previous teacher, a dude, went for a while because of an emergency. absolutely no one took her seriously when she taught what she did, which, arguably, she taught better than by male teacher. most of the kids in my class were boys. so it was never about looking up to men; they just wouldn't even try to find a role model in a woman

[@travisbrewer5391]

6:30 I used to be a teacher, and I am a man. And when all it takes is one accusation of sexual misconduct to end your career, I am not surprised that so few men are as brave as I was.

[@TheShadeySide]

let me tell you i broke down crying watching this. i finally felt like someone understood what’s happening to us, and it’s so damn crazy that most of society is just letting us crash and burn

[@dogfat.]

How sad for you to live in a time period that’s not geared entirely towards uplifting men, like every other one til today, but one where that energy is split. 😢

[@TheShadeySide]

@@dogfat.you know i’m not even gonna bother arguing with you, you have only proven the exact problem we’re facing.

[@carpark1414]

The irony is it is "sad" but not surprising to see a proportion of females absolutely revelling in this news. Like men are finally getting oppressed for once, or so they imagine. The epitome of a misandrist basically.

[@syblasterm0618]

@@dogfat. oh it’s split, all right, but almost always unevenly. Between male or female, we can never truly find that balance. Every gender, now including the many others we have today, has its own gripes with a society that pretty much condemns and communizes equality. Equity isn’t as available as promised by our ‘great nation’.

[@user-hq1pv8es3v]

@@TheShadeySide don’t worry mate she lives in her head away from reality

[@HoodieProduction]

I find it interesting how when a lot of these social crises are boiled down, it almost always shows how poorly designed our education system is. I ironically grew up wanting to be a teacher, partly due to how much I looked up to my male teachers, but it seems I was never cut out to succeed in an academic environment. Now I own a growing business and I have the immense privilege of being a positive influence on the younger employees that come through. I think overall, a lot of systems ingrained in society need a serious overhaul if we ever hope to live in a better world.

[@Pistolita221]

I think the issue is deeper than that unfortunately, if we can't effectively guide our use of tools the system will fail until the point our management of the system matches the technology in use.

[@andrewpierce1588]

What did we all do before we had an education system?

[@HoodieProduction]

@@andrewpierce1588 Mentorship/Apprenticeship. It's not as formal but it seems that men respond a lot better to a "wise" authority figure. You tend to find the old bastard types on job sites rather than classrooms.

[@Boston_420]

It's actually perfectly designed by out "elite" overlords it does exactly what they want keeps us dumb and divided

[@AmilaA-yq9dl]

What people should understand is “you should see a man as a man, woman as a woman” when talk about equality we are not trying see the difference between men and women.therefore we think women should redeem their rights by doing what men can do.Thus make the society unstable!

[@jesper8836]

I am currently a teen guy going through highschool. This video resonates with me, especially on the fatherlessness subject. I’m incredibly lucky to actually have parents who have a healthy relationship and are present in my life (mostly) However, my father is in the military and travels constantly. And his parents too, didn’t have a good relationship. I have found that as he has gotten more involved in my life lately, my life has improved. A few years ago I recall not wanting to live past 20-21 because existing simply hurt. I was depressed and cried myself to sleep day after day and I was only 14, already sure life was over for me. Now, my father has gotten slightly more involved with my life. He has guided me and helped me get a foothold on what/who I am. I’ve decided to pursue a vocational career and I hope to one day be a better father to my son. But my being able to see the effects that my own father has in my life gives me a unique perspective. Because I know what it’s like to not have Male role models, and what it’s like to have them. And the studies have it right, every boy needs a man to look up to. Another note I feel the need to touch on is the topic of sexism. I went through middle school overseas and through an online school. But I moved to America for high school. Now, not to put myself on any sort of high horse, but I have observed the other guys in my grade levels, and I feel as if though I’m more matured than the rest of them. Being more mature, I have been accepted into an all-female friend group where I am the only guy, exclusively because I’m not crass and obnoxious. as awesome as it is to have the friends I have, the do sometimes make sexist remarks that just hurt. They often treat the entire male gender as if though we’re all the worst middle schoolers Being indirectly called stupid, useless, worthless, and the like is pretty shitty. Even my girlfriend jokes about how boys suck. Which it’s mostly harmless, I’m not one to be easily offended, but it is grating. With how frequently I hear anti-male comments and jokes being echoed in half-jest, it gets under my skin eventually. Having my closest friends basically say I deserve to die because of my gender stings, even if they’re just joking around and playing. My friends often exclude me from the groupings eg: “boys are so annoying, I hate them so much… except you jesper, you’re fine” It’s a cookie cutter example but it captures the general idea of it. I am a male human which means I’m dumber than my friends, I’m less valuable, my life is more expendable, I’m unwanted and unloved, and I am meant to simply serve women my entire life. I have come more to terms with the sexism directed at me and learned to ignore it, but I still have to hype myself up on the regular. If I wasn’t tall or physically stronger than my female counterparts, I would probably struggle to maintain my self confidence. Girls have “taught” me that I’m dumber and only good for my physical strength. I do actually perform quite well academically and physically which boosts my confidence, but I feel bad for other young men or boys who aren’t able to justify these things to themselves. As stated in the video, one of the worst feelings for a guy is feeling “worthless” or “useless” I remember those words echoing in my mind before i had much of a direction in my life.

[@septanine5936]

I'm an american high schooler and have observed similar comments made by my peers, in front of guys, just hating on them just because they're male, and it is so sad. I honestly don't get it. just generalizing and hating on a good half of the population, and laughing about it. life is unkind to us all, but why be part of that unkindness in someone else's life? on another note, I have observed that many young american guys seem to be more immature compared to guys from other countries and I'm not sure why. maybe society has made less investments in their development comparatively, and so they make less investments into themselves. Also, I know you didn't ask but, I think you should distance yourself from those girls. being degraded all the time, in little ways like that adds up, and is not only extremely painful, but very detrimental to one's self image. it becomes hard not to absorb those ideas, and even harder to release them. You're not what they say you are and I hope things get better for you.

[@jesper8836]

@@septanine5936 I really appreciate your kindness, and I agree. I have noticed a good portion of the guys at my school just don’t know how to act. I got an especially ugly look at it recently when I overheard a few different conversations. And as for my friends, I do appreciate your input, but I assure you’re, they’re good friends. Their jokes and comments do occasionally hurt, but they’re few and far between. I think I might talk to them about it if it becomes an issue, because they are very understanding.

[@KnaxetMia]

Really interesting! Very well spoken and extremely important to talk about! Thank you for this video! 🤗 I really have a heart for men, growing up with older brothers, my father and all the other men in our familylife, made me see what most men are really made of. ❤️ It actually hurts to see how boys and men are falling when they should be prosperous. We all must strive to upplift and recognize the negative factors pulling boys and men down and work hard to turn this downgoing spiral. It's SO important to see more men working in for example health- and childcare, also as school teachers. This is crucial for our wellbeing and it have to start now! 💫💫💫💫💫💫 Men are loved but a world without happy thriving men, is no world at all. 💞

[@daniell1483]

This hits especially close to home. My father died when I was 6 in a driving accident. Growing up, I didn't realize how much that has impacted my life. Now, as an adult looking back, I feel very strongly that his absence has negatively affected my life. It has trickled down into every facet of life, and I hope that in the future, more people will understand that women are not the only gender that needs help in life. In many ways, I think we men need more help than ever before if we want to achieve something like sexual equality for society.

[@CyrilSneer123]

@@asmrain5652 In other words you dont care about mens rights. Do one.

[@dominominoh]

I kinda like the added last bit, I feel like if we had our attention on every side equally then maybe we'd get somewhere, but if we fight for women's rights and shut men out, they'll become more destructive to themselves and others. It doesn't benefit anyone to lift either side. If we have healthy men helping healthy women and vise versa, that would just lead to more growth on every side. Although, I'd also like to include everyone in the middle of those sides. Much better world when we get support and give support than take, take, take. Life's hard, regardless of sex, race, ethnicity, sexuality, etc. Maybe save for those with power and money, though.

[@dominominoh]

@@asmrain5652First, we need to entirely dismantle the united states' government and reassemble it with our modern technology and research in ways that allow everyone to truly have equal opportunities and rights.

[@raafeyplayz7015]

@@asmrain5652bro tryna ignore men

[@raafeyplayz7015]

@@dominominohthere’s only men and women

[@frank93907]

As a 25 year old Native American man I had experienced these disparities, with the exception of attempting suicide, though on two occasions i was indirectly close. I greatly appreciate the likes of Sean Carrol, yourself, Brian green, and pbs channels for your initiative’s. I have gone back to school full time to study CS in hopes to make myself useful for the kids like me and my reservation through creating impactful resources. Thank you guys for helping society grow and allowing a new way for everyone to learn.

[@drrodopszin]

Hey man, Native Americans really really had it hard for centuries, I wish you and all your families better times and better states!

[@harttraveller]

Nice job man keep up the great work. When you get to where you're trying to go, you'll be infinitely grateful to your present self.

[@nahnahson]

I think this continues to highlight the issue. You went into Computer Science. Not the HEAL. and why cant we get women into the STEM professions?

[@deadgheist]

So proud of you! Thank you for sharing your story!

[@SoloRenegade]

I wish you the best. It's shameful how men/boys are treated in the US. A literal human rights violation.

[@RantKid]

Special Ed teacher here. 5 out of 24 employees in our wing are male. A coworker had the tenacity to say I was taking part in some "boys club" when I came out of a meeting that happened to involve a male admin. The level of unawareness is so frustrating

[@-haclong2366]

Meanwhile fully female staffed institutions never get any criticism for exclusion.

[@fiily1]

Wife works as Special Ed. One male teacher in the 6th grade, and the last male para just quit due to the toxic environment and low pay.

[@wdmc2012]

You bring up a decent point though. There isn't much awareness. Men have had decades of training on the need to treat women as equals. Women have had decades of training that they can be equal or better than men. The average person just isn't intelligent enough to realize that these principles need to go both ways when the training only focuses on one direction.

[@BaritoneMonkey]

Special Ed teacher here too!!!

[@BaritoneMonkey]

And yes, the old schtick about men's privilege is pretty tired. Much of it is true, but blown way out of proportion to reality and too often used by people being vindictive and trying to take the victim role. (Saying that as someone who has had to face my tendency to play the victim role myself in some areas of my life - so no judgment, just understanding.)

[@AcceptandAct]

For grad school in clinical psychology to become a therapist, I attended a prestigious program in Canada. There were about 40 women, and I was one of the only 3 men, only one of them Canadian, the other two including me were international students. We seriously need more men in mental health care sector. Well-trained men who have healed themselves or who are at least working on it.

[@steve3131]

I would be inclined to agree, except there is no certainty that male therapists aren't misandrists, and there are also female therapists who have genuine empathy and desire to help male patients. I would rather men and boys be helped by a pro-male female therapist than an Alan Alda/Michael Kimmel type "male feminists". What did you think of the professors and the curriculum? I'll bet one could find blatant misandry without even looking for it.

[@Oh_mY_baNanA_pAnCaKs]

I am so glad that this video essay talks about this issue without putting down the other gender. I was skeptical at first, but i am really happy to have now clicked on this video. However, I wish it would talk more about the reason why there is a deficit in the specific jobs you talked about, diving deeper into the conversation of gender roles and stereotypes society has put on both genders. I think it’s important to talk the reason behind the things that happen.

[@Pistolita221]

Society isn't ready for that conversation (the sources of the problem), cause it involves criticizing feminism/women. Feminism and women aren't the root, but the "men are useless/worthless" types have something to answer for, according to the most used adjectives in the notes. And nobody is ready to hear men, especially the poor/POC/neurodivergent men criticize rich white women, and that is generally the face of feminism. Queen Elizabeth the II set up secret chivalric orders specifically for feminism during her tenure on the thrown, I imagine these orders have a lot of influence in feminist organizations.

[@esl4058]

I wasn’t expecting to be touched by this video but it really does it home. As a guy I have come to depend only on myself because no one ever helps us to the point where we not know HOW to even accept help. I grew up with a single mom who didn’t understand that I genuinely struggled in school. It’s very hard to process being intelligent yet not being able to handle school. I was essentially kicked out at 18 and forced to go to college in a new state and the reality was I just wasn’t ready for it so I failed out after only two semesters. I had never felt so lonely and isolated and lost as I did that year. I ended up working in restaurants to support myself and drank all the time. It wasn’t until only a few years ago that I was able to get sober (on my own with no support), enrolled in a trade school and became an electrician. Now I’m finally stable and healthy but what it took to get here is beyond words. Of course my mother is happy but we don’t really have a relationship at all anymore.

[@5yrsand-bs9uf]

HARD Times makes STRONG MEN...tbh, you were a lot better off dealing with stuff by yourself...it has made you STRONGER brother...and the world needs STRONG MEN and not weak pussies that Evil Feminism has/is trying to create...as they know MEN will become easily controlled.

[@macjohniezuhaeus316]

hey its nice you were able get on your feet

[@man-observing-world]

I’m really sorry man, thanks for sharing. Glad to hear your Singh better now.

[@burgerfrites3480]

Congrats for getting back to soberty and becoming an electrician. Wish you to be happy, too

[@jarthur5094]

Very smart to become electrician. You can easily earn as much or more than many white collar professionals AND you have actually essential knowledge

[@n3tw0rk_n3k0]

I was going to college to become a teacher. I even worked as a teacher for one fall semester. The kids loved me so much that it became a problem in the eyes of many. My homeroom was 8th graders and everytime they saw me they would run to me and hug me. Being a male, other people looked at me being friendly with the kids as creepy so I just told the principal I would be gone once I finished that semester. Men faces stigmas women don't even though there are more female teacher in scandals with students.

[@user-qt4qp6bj1q]

And why did they run to you? No dads at home. Thanks crazy women.

[@ayla8345]

Well, statistically, children are safer around women than men. I’m not talking about you, just in general. That’s also why Nannies are almost always women.

[@user-qt4qp6bj1q]

@@ayla8345 When I see headlines of men killing toddlers because they wouldn't stop screaming, I get it. That's a person who doesn't even understand basic human development.

[@Mihsinger]

I wish you would've kept going

[@mrmaherani7077]

@@ayla8345 Most nannies are female because they are patient with children, not because they aren't child abusers, if none of them were i wouldn't have been abused by one.

[@jpmor7327]

I really feel that the lack of exclusive spaces for Men is leading to this issue. Title 9 wasnt so much about Equality as it was to dissolve men only spaces. Even nowdays if a man wants his own space, eventually there will be a woman that feels like a man that will enter that space, which will inturn lead to more pressure from women for inclusion and equity. Men need their own spaces where they can come together to fraternize, free from women. And not just a chatroom, actual spaces. Where they can celebrate male greatness and compete against one another and come together as men.

[@Esme26433]

What kind of spaces would this be? Your male friends house? He can invite only men, a bar, a restaurant, a park? No one stops you from gathering as a group and celebrating your greatness. Do you want a males only pub? Not sure what spaces these would be. Or maybe a gentlemen’s club ?

[@jpmor7327]

@@Esme26433 for thousands of years sports and gymnasiums were men only spaces until very recently. Men can no longer ' be themselves '

[@everglow-simp]

​@@jpmor7327yeah.and women had none.women had nowhere to go. Only their homes

[@jpmor7327]

@@everglow-simp we werent encroaching on your spaces like women are doing now to mens spaces. Men had their spaces and women did as well.. in every culture there was well defined gender norms and spaces based on your gender. Given the choice, do you think Would women rather have done the hunting, building and defending? Or the housemaking?

[@okayrookie]

This actually made me cry for a second, DAMN YOU!!!! 😭 Edit: I'm not really damning anyone, I wish you good health for this valuable information. 🎩

[@blastonightfb77ryan86]

As an 18 year old man who just got into college and wants to become an Elementary School Teacher I’ve always known that the workforce I’m going into has been built much more for women and it at first made me feel I wasn’t needed and useless because I was male. However I then realized it didn’t mean that, it actually meant the exact opposite, it meant that I was much more needed than ever before. The more the number of male teacher plummets the more motivated I am to try and put a stop to it. I hope one day once I get my degree to actually make an everlasting impact on a district with the work I put in. If you read all this your an absolute legend

[@whyplaypiano2844]

Please keep striving to do what you can. 40% of boys between the 1st and 12th grade are without a father due to divorce, death, or absence.(In the US) I *promise* you would be doing good things for people. I know that my 3rd-grade teacher was monumental for allowing me to be the person I am today.

[@bobclift444]

Godspeed!

[@dian277]

good for you. I've heard that the reason there're more women in the education system, especially lower education, is that it doesn't pay well, and many men who are qualified want higher-paying jobs. I'm glad you chose to be an elementary school teacher, and a father figure for many boys. Whether those boys can grow into accountable men, and whether girls can find accountable life partners in the future, is up to people like you, Good luck with everything.

[@lachlann4335]

Now more than ever we need legends like you mate. Show them how good of a teacher you can be.

[@dunno-19]

fellow 18 yr old man with an eye on becoming a teacher as well! Good to see someone with similar values. Wishing you good luck on your journey!

[@WarrenSmithMark]

Regarding the issue of people entering HEAL professions, the issue is probably beyond gender divide and is one of insufficient pay in many of such jobs. A great step forward would be to increase wages in HEAL to encourage more people (men & women) to embrace these very useful jobs. We live in a crazy world in which the least socially useful jobs (think investment bankers & co) are paid many times more than people in roles that provide the foundation of our societies (healthcare & education).

[@suckmyartauds]

This is absolutely the ticket. The last thing a disempowered man wants to hear is that he needs to pivot to an underpaid and underappreciated career to succeed. We need less superficial praise for "heroes" in healthcare and education, and more real improvement of their working conditions and pay

[@riverland0072]

Well, the market determines how we value things. The market, not me, not you. And anytime we try to artificially increase wages for sectors the Market doesn't value, we get burnt

[@lilypad9965]

Totally agree, especially because in heal jobs like teaching longer hours are expected for such little pay and with very little other reward.

[@Anewevisual]

@@riverland0072the market says you’re worth 0 dollars. Sorry :/

[@suckmyartauds]

@@riverland0072 When Wall Street is in crisis, they get a bailout from the government and it's okay to meddle in the market. When workers are in crisis, they get told "we can't meddle with the market". Certainly any economic policy can have negative repercussions, but we shouldn't dismiss new ideas without examining any real evidence of the possible pros and cons. Economics in the real world is not the same as what you learn in 101. And you have to think about who controls the publishing of that 101 textbook and how they may be biased towards teaching you oversimplified ideas about supply and demand that benefit their wallets

[@RedWaterGlow]

Very very interesting. I honestly never seen it this way, especially as a woman. Very informative and I agree with everything he said.

[@quetzalthegamer]

13:55 "The last words used by me to describe themselves before committing suicide were most commonly 'worthless' and 'useless'." I've never seen this study, but I knew what one of those words would be before he'd finished the sentence.

[@manuelgonzalezcom]

"The movement for equality has - without declaration - become the movement for supremacy". It is hard for both, men and women, to talk about this topic. There is a lot of pain and personal experience involved. I really care for women and I really care for men. Our life styles have changed so much within the last 100 years, it's hard to find ones personal place and it's just as hard to find the right answers to questions that can only be answered subjectively. I'm liberal, I'm conservative, I'm against simple claims and pro accepting the complexity of the nature of things. I'm sure - one way or another - we'll find a way as society to make it work somehow. I don't know who needs to read this right now, but I want you to know that your life is special, you are important and all the struggle is worth it in the end. So keep going.

[@bluegamer4210]

simple is best but what you say is nice too

[@prathmeshsoni2172]

I have experiences too

[@alinecintura6694]

beautiful words👏👏👏

[@UrbanBard1]

What's missing from education now is excellence, competence, patriotism, culture and God. Giving a participation trophy to everyone sabotages a boy's competitive spirit. Why try if the authorities won't allow you to win? The Left is fighting a Culture war against America. They dumb down the curriculum. They aim instruction at the least capable students; while ignoring the needs of the superior ones. What 8th graders in 1880 were expected to know was impressive. The Kids then loved America. There was no time for politically correct ideas. We need competent and knowledgable citizens. If we don't teach civics or the classics, how will students appreciate the blessings they gain from being an American? Will they value the sacrifices which our forbearers made to provided us with civilization and prosperity? The Left in control of education say a resounding , "No." This is all a Leftist plot. Thank Antonio Gramsci for that. The only solution is to end government education. Give the parents back the school taxes and let them control where to spend it. Put the parents back in control of their children's education. Even a Feminist mother won't allow her son to be left behind.

[@manmanman2000]

If society was a pyramid, most people on the very top are men but most people on the very bottom are men and boys too and the pyramid is way bigger on the bottom than on the top. Women, for most cases, live happily in the middle. Now most effort today is made in trying to bring women to the top and also tearing the men on the top down but about the men and boys at the very bottom, nobody cares.

[@Archimedes-Of-Syracuse]

Two examples I saw recently at my HS 1. I was sexually harrassed by another male student, and despite me reporting it to a high ranking staff member, nothing was done to my knowledge. 2. A male classmate was given a mark on his record and a long suspension for a delivering a well deserved insult to another student while a female classmate stabbed a dude three times with a fork and got a three day suspension with no mark on her record.

[@Pistolita221]

But you have to remember that women are INSTITUTIONALLY disadvantaged. How awful would it be for you to get away with assault because people thought you were a cute lil lady?

[@brooksiedoodle5087]

You're mad a girl defended herself?

[@Pistolita221]

@@brooksiedoodle5087 You'll have to troll harder to get the negative attention you're looking for from me. Pathetic this is what passes for trolling these days.

[@stephenlefebvre4359]

​@@brooksiedoodle5087This is one of the problems with society though, people assume the female is the victim, and not the aggressor in situations like this. She very well could be the victim, but we don't know from the information given.

[@madmax5841]

@@Pistolita221 Imagine having a 6 years longer life expectancy due to less work related stress, making up only 7% of workplace fatalities, 4% deaths due to war, 24% of suicides and homicides, 20% of the homeless, having people assume you are the victim when you initiated DV in the majority of cases, having laws that cannot identify you as a perpetrator of r ape, having a 40% higher adoption rate... and thinking you are oppressed

[@bastianogr4960]

Thanks for raising this topic in such a respectful, balanced, and established way. For the sake of our society and the healthy coexistence of women and men, this needs A LOT more awareness! The thing about boys being raised in a female dominated environment is, that instead of providing actual role models, who organically set examples, it primarily makes them feel inadequate and out of place. Sure, they can learn and grow. But they'll never have all, that boys need. The lessons come from a different place, from an external source. There's not that deep understanding of A.) how boys tick and B.) where a man's place in society is. I was raised that way. Mainly because my mom, as a men-hating feminist, always chose female influences for us, in almost every area-while my dad was out working his a$$ off for us. Like most of the other dads around us. I've never learned to navigate the world correctly, simply because women navigate it in a completely different way. As a boy, you can adapt these ways to some degree, but they only get you this far. Also, I've never felt needed, or like a crucial part of something, rather like a stray dog. I'm 46 now, husband and dad, and I'm still feeling lost and disposable. Especially having in mind how society has shifted over the last 5-10 years.

[@jdgamer3519]

Weirdly, I got the feeling something wasn't right when I first heard men has advantage over women 5 years ago. I was still in high school at that time. Everyone around me tell me how much of an advantage I have because I am a male. But something in me feels that because I am a male, I have disadvantage in the school and working setting. It was ridiculous at the time and every adults in my house laugh at me for bringing it up and just ignore my questions about the topic later on. I still don't know how I got to my present self when I struggled with the thought of killing myself off during high school. At least I can say now is that I am lucky to hold on to till this time. A time that I finally find myself a purpose to live and a dream in engineering to follow.

[@Porzellanfabrik]

There might be the disadvantage in school and HEAL jobs for boys/mens. However, men still have a huge advantage in STEM jobs, especially in reaching higher positions. At least here in Europe as many women, despite their great results in school and university, leave their jobs and choose to stay at home once they become kids.

[@Pistolita221]

@@Porzellanfabrik "However, men still have a huge advantage in STEM jobs, especially in reaching higher positions." Used to, that changed around late gen X early millennial, if you look at Zoomers and young millennials women are advancing faster than men. "At least here in Europe as many women, despite their great results in school and university, leave their jobs and choose to stay at home once they become kids." And? Is it wrong to want to raise a family? Or were they forced? FORCED is the problem. Are you opposed to women having a family, does that make them lesser somehow? You think being a good parent is a demotion? No, raising a family is one of the most difficult and demanding things you can do. It takes dozens of skills, and a lot of time management. It is also one of the most important things you can do as an individual for the broader society, raising the next generation to being healthy functional adults is how you uplift your entire nation and potentially the world, bud. Especially in the secular age, cause you can't rely on the church to do it.

[@j10001]

I’m so glad you are still here!! ❤ hang in there. Tough times eventually give way to bright skies and better outcomes. Engineering is an excellent path because you can often see that you’re creating something. It makes use of your natural gifts. Keep it up and things will turn out fine. 💛

[@amineaiffa]

It's an absolute embarrassment that shop classes have been removed from the curriculum. The amount of engagement and mental stimulation that it provides students is incontrovertible. I understand why they did it though. Cost cutting. Chopping up pieces of wood for 30+ students per class can get very expensive.

[@PJ-om2wq]

Woodwork and then metalwork were my favourite classes at school, and I often used to go into the workshop for extra time after school to make things. I am really grateful to the teacher that allowed this. I went on to do an engineering degree and have now spent 30 years as an engineer. In retrospect I suspect that health and safety would now not allow what I did though.

[@nidhishsharma9471]

@@PJ-om2wq the health and safety protocols now are also stifling. I understand that there's always risks involved, but you can't grow as a person if you're always being coddled, monitored, and supervised like it is now

[@omri9982]

@Nidhish Sharma yep, and sitting down at school, for homework, and desk jobs all day aren't too healthy for us either. We need to be more physically active, it's what we evolved to do.

[@cryobyteyt6198]

Thank the lord we still have shop classes in my high school. They even incentivize kids to take it by making it a weighted class, as the number of kids taking it is getting lower and lower each year.

[@holytoast1963]

they still exist at my school, I think it depends on where you are.

[@julianaoliver7642]

As a woman i really appreciate the author bringing light to men's issues without turning down women. We won't get any progress if we beat each other down, we need to rise together!

[@JotaroKujo-fr7uo]

Is this a functioning human being on the internet? IMPOSSIBLE!!! (what you said is very true people tend to say they understand but twist it back anyway)

[@paulcoldrey3387]

As a general rule, the men's rights movement is very positive towards women and equally opposed to both misogyny and misandry. For this reason, I am always amazed that it gets labelled as right-wing hate, in complete contradiction to the reality of the movement and its goals.

[@Rig0r_M0rtis]

@@paulcoldrey3387 Not true. Unfortunately most self-proclaimed men's rights activists are just anti-feminists. True feminism and true men's right activism has lot of overlap, however isn't controversial enough for fraudsters to make money with it.

[@radiofreebadenoch2312]

Women aren’t the problem. Feminists are the problem

[@truthsRsung]

"As a woman"? Why bother? Isn't that the point? You want progress, but insist on enforcing separation while posting on a lavender and pink thumb.

[@UnemptyVoid]

I feel like you really pointed out the point of how expectations for men are still stuck in the past whilst gender roles have changed. Media which targets and manipulates the younger male audiences(masculinity tiktoks, feminist videos, etc) which, to desperate younger men could appear appealing or addictive, which can setup ridiculous expectations and images of what men should achieve. There are still everyday expectations and biases towards men, something as small as having to pay for a date, having to "man up" against emotions. The school environments are quite flawed as well. Boys are much more prone to being bullied, more peer pressure into being athletic, "cool", and not caring, instead of being a "nerd" Teachers are much more biased towards girls, and boys' problems are often ignored or just put down. I am thankful that I was not a part of people who are subject to this. I am so glad I wasn't in the position of those boys.

[@jehendrick]

You are a very courageous man! We need more like you.

[@kevlarburrito6693]

It says a lot about society where saying things that are true in a calm and respectful way is seen as "courageous"

[@paravel]

This is really important. I almost never see men's issues being talked about ever, so I'm really glad you've brought them up and talked about them with very well-done research. Let's create our own reality where men and boys can heal themselves and become more involved where they lack, as well as having the support of those around them. This message needs to be spread around just as much as women and girl's issues. edit: Beware of trolls in the comments. Ignore hate. Much love to all.

[@tej9027]

Ikr i'm saying this forever. Society is so unfair to men

[@SolsticeN]

Don't worry, whole channel will eventually be shut down for this video alone..

[@tej9027]

@@SolsticeN Nahh That's Not Fair

[@bigacend7]

Men and boys issues are talked about a lot by conservatives so maybe you need to broaden the horizons of the content youre consuming

[@tej9027]

@@bigacend7 no you're wrong. which world you live in ?

[@oversight7379]

It’s nice to know at least someone acknowledges these problems that often aren’t talked about nearly enough

[@danielaorellana8216]

I mean... I agree with almost everything he said, I just think it wouldn't be fair to send the girls to school 1 year more just because the boys are behind. Let's make all children go to school a year later then! I have always thought that kids should enjoy their childhood more. And second, when he said: "And for men in particular this sense of purpose is very important..." 😂 right, because women don't have existential crises or don't reflect on life, or at least we do it less than men apparently just cause we don't commit suicide as much as men? I think he got a bit lost there, I agree with the idea that we should pay more attention to the male suicide rate, for sure! but please...

[@FNESSE]

@@danielaorellana8216 way to just completely invalidate the male experience...

[@benjamintejadaliriano1229]

Conservative speakers have been talking about this for years

[@oversight7379]

@@codechartreuse just ignore it cause that’s healthy

[@Hurkas]

​@@danielaorellana8216 I think he meant that boys should go to school at the age of seven and the girls at the age of six... Not holding the girls in school one year longer. Just there would be 1 year difference between the girls and the boys in the class...

[@felicialu592]

As a young woman, I had realised this even before this video. Whatever people are fighting for, it changes into the opposite direction. For example, women have fought for equality with men. But now, I sometimes feel that in general women are not equal with men but are becoming more privileged than them. We have only changed where privilege lies. We are right now seeing the seed grow roots, and if we continue this way it’s scary to believe what women have fought for, men will have to fight for it too. Maybe even harder than we have because of all the history some women- and even men themselves may use against them (if that makes sense). This goes with a lot of other different topics, and it is scary. Once we dream of equality, we then dream of privilege. At least, that’s my opinion.

[@Pistolita221]

tis the cycle of abuse.

[@forestchildnazka]

pick me

[@PBJellyBoi]

@@forestchildnazkasftu misandrist

[@robertcastel1565]

That are not your opinion that are the facts.

[@shaymalchione809]

Well the message for the woman’s movement was the future is female. And I just don’t think men are willing to fight that hard at least not as hard as women cause we feel we have so much to prove.

[@alexlilano1931]

It is insane that it is worse for men now than women in the 70s especially in education. There more inequalities for men now than the height of women inequalities.

[@bensblues]

yeah that is absolutely not true, and is actually counterproductive for you to argue that

[@penguindrummer252]

Imagine hearing "we may have overshot the mark on gender equality in a handful of fields" and frankensteining that into the downfall of the patriarchy and subsequent rise of the matriarchy. A shred of nuance, for the love of god.

[@auteurfiddler8706]

In the 1920's my grandmother was right out of high school and was being chased around the bosses desk at her first job. (I was just told that recently, not when she was alive.) I saw something like that happening 50 years later to a teenage girl. As a male, I never had that. Now my 24 year old niece is getting called to a conference for her job that she thinks could be done by zoom. You know what we have to worry about that.

[@hishamhussain9325]

I'm just glad and grateful that Big Think chose to make a video on this, because it's an even more of a serious issue than most of the world realises.

[@lolong5976]

True that. I'd rather listen to actual studies, examples, well researched articles, testimonials, etc instead of listening to likes like Andrew tate or those masculinity, red pill, Sigma wierdos. People don't understand that men like these are there to make a fortune. They don't really give a sht about common men. They just wanna feed their insecurities and the best way to do that is create hatred among them towards women. Just like the feminism shows the bad side of men on spotlight, those men shows bad side of women on spotlight. And boom!! We have a mob of men following that

[@cliffc2546]

It is, and I have any number of real world and personal anecdotes that perfectly exemplify this destructive social change.

[@haruka0002]

I feel like in school boys gets discriminated so that may also weaken boy’s motivation.

[@Mariana-ee8dg]

@@haruka0002 I'm not a boy/man, so I cannot talk for you guys. But I've had a few experiences of discrimination for being a girl :/ The saddest is when it is from female teachers. Most teachers treated me right tho, I hope y'all are doing good. Everyone can make amazing things, trust yourself!

[@haruka0002]

@@Mariana-ee8dg yeah, well I guess it depends on the teacher?

[@Twinrehz]

Something that was mentioned in a video I saw many years ago, was "stop treating boys as dysfunctional girls". This was a call to teachers, saying that it's perfectly normal for boys to get restless in the classroom, and that they need to be allowed those precious minutes of recess to run around and use their energy, rather than get marked down for "being disruptive" when forced to sit down for hours on end.

[@leosunaquamoon]

I also think the current education punishes kids with ADHD as well.

[@Twinrehz]

@@leosunaquamoon It very much does.

[@ivankatalinic2881]

Seems like the most controversial and poorly though out point in the video is the one about redshirting the boys. Wholeheartedly agree that this would only serve as a type of "band-aid" solution. Maybe there is more merit to gender separation in the classroom or differentiation between types of education for young and adolescent boys and girls than we'd care to admit. Where the two can *mostly* develop according to their biological differences, but also working together on certain topics or classes, before meeting in a unisex college education system or workplace.

[@abebuckingham8198]

Boys are naturally more disruptive and violent. You can't teach around that.

[@ivankatalinic2881]

@@abebuckingham8198 Sure you can, when one applies a approach which is suitable and doesn't create unwelcome pressure which produces disruptive behavior.

[@charliesvisuals9855]

I’m a male psychology student. Of my cohort of ~200 students, there’s about 20/30 boys. Which is crazy

[@ILoveYou-uj3vs]

Smart women in university, don't mean they are really smart at everything.

[@sorais8130]

​@@ILoveYou-uj3vsit's not about smartness lul. It's that they are getting far more unfair convenience than men which is why they are ahead in those fields

[@NSP-Animates]

People need to enforce equality morally, more than legally. Like, we don't need more women in engineering or more men in teaching, just let them do what they actually want, rather then giving them a job for the equality requirement.

[@fionah3433]

Exactly! Quotas are ridiculous and counterproductive. We have an actual situation like this in my state, where one state university is trying to promote more "people of color" (I really don't like that phrase, we all have a color, but that's the phrase they use) in agricultural programs. $1 million bucks has been set aside for this agenda, and when a radio talk show host tried to get comment from the very university employee whose job it is to interact with the media, they refused to speak with him. We should be supporting people in what they want to do, not what we think they should do to somehow even out the score. There's no passion in being a token in a field you don't even like. Matt Lamb from College Fix has lots of good stories about what's happening in higher ed in this country.

[@anon3118]

That will never work because jobs are inequal. Equality does not exist at all.

[@kingofthekoopas8857]

I have an experience here. When I was maybe 11 I went to a restaurant with some friends. The place had a couple arcade machines and I went alone to check them out. A girl about my age was over there and wanted to break a machine’s glass to get the prizes. She said I should do the same, but I didn’t. After she hit the glass several times an alarm went off and a female manager came running over. The girl and I were silent and standing right next to each other. Immediately, the manager accused me of hitting the machine and kicked me out, while the girl laughed at me. There was no evidence that myself or the girl had done anything, except for the alarm. EDIT: Let me clear this up. I’m not trying to say women are unjust and we shouldn’t help them. That isn’t remotely what I’m trying to say. All I am trying to say is that in my personal opinion, a stigma has developed in which many subconsciously may end up thinking by default that it’s a male that committed a crime. I wasn’t trying to start a war about gender, I was just stating an experience that was in fact relevant to the topic. It is because being accused of something you didn’t do solely based on your gender can actually be emotionally damaging and negatively influence a boy’s development. Development in which the video clearly regarded.

[@skeptic_lemon]

Discrimination. God this world is messed up.

[@sebastianlenzlinger9291]

Very shitty experience! The insidious quality of old macho masculinity is the effect it has on young boys, put in to boxes by the toxic expextations within patriarchal structure.

[@rickstevenson9585]

Women aren’t held accountable the way men are.

[@yout1556]

And then women expect boys to help them when they get graped in public .. Hell no.

[@Astrophel24]

@@yout1556 EDIT: There was a major misunderstanding on my part here and I apologize, I will leave the original post because it's still quite important to keep in mind for others. There are many [valid] reasons on why some people might not help someone else in trouble and that's fine. I'll try to give people the benefit of the doubt and ensure that to keep in mind that comments don't have the luxury of things such as tone from now on. That's not the route you should be going for! You don't stop helping others just because a few experiences with that group [whether racial, gender based, or just based on appearance]. What should be happening is support for men as well and have people be more empathetic in general towards situations like assault, discrimination, and other such things. What kind of logic is that? I bet you are the same person who will go "not all men" towards a woman who merely mentioned a bad experience happening to her, despite you generalizing the other gender as well!

[@Bobrogers99]

As a retired male teacher, I see a lot of truth in this video! These are issues that we need to deal with.

[@12inter88]

As a new male teacher, I see this too!

[@bjung8858]

There's a military school in Oakland. I was told that former military veterans were hired and the school was run pretty strict. But for some boys, this is what they needed. Then, a Liberal principal was hired and made the school like the rest. The school just fell apart.

[@alaalfa8839]

It seems education is important for both genders. But there should be some balance, have freedom of choice. then as experts say those long-term marriages are flourishing if both have the same values, hobbies, same lifestyle. so it's interesting that when you see a couple from the same environment or same job, for example, music field or science field. they understand each other so much that their marriage is long-term, and they share similar points of view or values. It's like the music or the topics brings them together because of empathy. They put themselves in the shoes of the other person. For example, if both love sports or hiking or traveling there is a bigger chance that they will have a long-term relationship. I agree that men are designed to be high performers. As John Gray says estrogen makes women talk about emotions more often. 10 times more noticing emotions and problems when under stress. So I guess women should do some yoga or sport to be less in stress. Testosterone suppresses the estrogen in the man´s body, to be calmer and focus more on task. Testosterone is about problem-solving. So it's true that men are usually better leaders and problem solvers. He also says women should not force their husband to think too much about their emotions. She shouldn't ask him how do you feel, but What do you think? Because if she forces him to feel emotions too much, it's against his biology. But men feel happy to make the wife happy, or create values etc. He says men shouldn't ask women What do you think, but how do you feel? because if he forces her to think rationally and logically it is against her biology, She is becoming masculine. Love and empathy and gratitude are not about logic, its energy, and vibration as Einstein would say. because man expects her to have the type of thinking and feeling as women have thanks to estrogen. He teaches couples how to communicate properly. Empathy helps put each other in their shoes. But elderly men get much more estrogen and females get more testosterone. so it seems they should do some meditation yoga and not think bout their identity so much even Dr. Joe Dispenza says the less you think about your identity such as gender nation, profession, lifestyle, language, status etc. the better you focus on your tasks.

[@2DLexa]

Same, I recently ended working as a teacher for the pursuit of an IT career

[@AK-jm1sc]

Is it hard to enter teaching as a man? I have a couple of male teacher friends and they said it was super easy for them, they were overwhelmed with job opportunities and higher than usual pay after graduation because "lack of male teachers, we need more men teaching, it's important for the kids" while some female just graduates struggle because they're more women in teaching, so they have to have some other competitive edge to be noticed.

[@IamTheWayIam]

Thank you for this - so illuminating. My take on feminism is one that focuses just as much on men's issues as those of women. We can't have equality without it. You guys, you are necessary and important. We need you and you need us, and that's a beautiful thing.

[@retdcommander69]

Yes it is true that we created a world where so many men don't feel needed. But the biggest problem in solving that is getting the world to acknowledge that problem. Aaand I don't see our world acknowledging that problem anytime soon

[@eveliinahannele]

These problems are very much awknowledged, men just don't want to solve any of them themselves. Instead they blame feminism and expect women to fix their issues.

[@Pistolita221]

@@eveliinahannele Nah, any time men try to discuss their issues feminists like you tell us we're describing our experiences incorrectly. Don't tell me how to describe MY lived experiences. If I refuse to use the lable patriarchy or toxic masculinity, it is not your place to try and invalidate my experience and try to cram my lived experiences into the "toxic masculinity" box. And yes, many feminists have been problematic towards men. And you claiming they're not real is BS, I have never told someone the abuse they experienced wasn't real. I have explained the perpetrators motives, but it's not an excuse.

[@eveliinahannele]

​@@Pistolita221we are talking about data and statistics, not your personal experience which is irrelevant. All the points feminism brings up helps men directly or undirectly. Your issues sound very personal and you should seek therapy, also something that feminism advocates for.

[@Pistolita221]

@@eveliinahannele " Instead they blame feminism and expect women to fix their issues." This is your personal opinion, IDK what data you think you're citing. "All the points feminism brings up helps men directly or undirectly." When has feminism ever focused on mens issues? Feminists have changed a lot of policyt, but they never address mens issues. FGM, illegal for obvious reasons. MGM, feminists are "undecided". Do you have any 'data and logic' to back up those points or just grandstanding? "Your issues sound very personal and you should seek therapy, also something that feminism advocates for." Only when they want to condescend to men, it's never out of genuine concern, like right now. You're trying to call me crazy, to discredit me instead of addressing my argument, because you're uneducated. BTW, it's *IN* directly, not *UN* directly.

[@chibu3212]

⁠​⁠@@eveliinahanneleSome men are attempting to fix the issues it’s just the solutions that aren’t agreed upon. Also suggesting that these problems are advocated/acknowledged by the general populace (in a similar manner as women’s rights) is false. Men just want everyone to help with these issues, just like how feminists want male feminists and men to be involved in ending the patriarchy and supporting women’s rights. Also lastly, feminism isn’t a one size fits all monolith. There are bad feminists that should be called out just like the good feminists should be praised. This “men you have to fix it” mindset ironically enforces gender stereotypes of men being the fixer uppers or doers. Just playing a no true Scotsman for feminists you disagree with isn’t helpful.

[@tpiper1976]

Vocational classes saved me as a boy and young man. I suffered from dyslexia and back then you were just considered dumb. Struggled to read couldn’t spell all around struggled to learn. But I always got A’s in shops and art. When they removed shops from schools and stuffed you in front of a computer it was a kiss of death for gifted boys who could work with their hands producing something of substance!

[@fltfathin]

thanks to technology nowadays computer can read for you tho, also some font are more helpful to dyslexia people

[@user-ti7me6yv7w]

I drop out of art subjects because they require people to write long analysis that I have no idea what it is about, and suck at it. And most people consider art is art history in college. I still remember my teacher says if you don’t do art ….(some stem) than don’t go to college, in their eyes art is college and theory only.

[@patriciaszabo8015]

There are no differences dyslexia functionality in boys and girls. Usually girls underdiagnosed than boys by teacher awareness.

[@jackheinemann1994]

The only A+ I ever got in school was for a pillow I made. I only just scrapped by with the rest of my school work. We were only ever told about getting to uni, its been such a waste of time for me but now im so far into it i have to finish for whatever reason, ill end up working with heavy machinery

[@bhanvishukla7987]

The fact that he doesn't just pose the problem as a question, he in fact proposes quick and long term solutions to the problem!

[@ADeeSHUPA]

ないす

[@anonymouscode1635]

@@ADeeSHUPA what??

[@Verrisin]

@@anonymouscode1635 nice

[@brendanscully5787]

Men are handling the situ. in a pragmatic way - there are leaving......

[@BearingMySeoul]

Yes! He gave a really balanced perspective.

[@SomeYouTubeTraveler]

My 5th grade had 5 teachers (~30 kids per class), and only one of them was male. He was all the kids' favorite. Thank you, Mr. Hendrick, for being a great role model, and showing that men can be great with kids... kind and polite and encouraging and funny, while still someone who'd hold you accountable when it's time to do work or own up to responsibility. My dad was like that too, but my teacher being the same way taught me that that sort of healthy masculinity isn't only reserved for the parent-child relationship. Kids desperately need solid male role models.

[@SwiftyDawsonFan]

When it comes to parenthood men and women have some serious soul searching to do. My heart goes out to men out there that need a proper role model. I also struggled without my father, I couldn't imagine how it is for young boys.

[@andrewdrewandy]

sucks to suck i guess

[@afnannizam7731]

Dare i say it's refreshing to see someone saying men's problems out loud without being interrupted or made to look small

[@ian_snow]

That’s because they didn’t have any females in this. If they had included a woman, guaranteed she would have ree’d right over what he had to say. Every video that has men and women in it, the women roll over the man when he tries to bring up issues that men are having, even when they aren’t blaming women. Women can’t stand to have any issues other than theirs being heard.

[@rickysandwich]

Agreed! I think this is a very important take on men's issues. What I've often seen as the solution for men's struggles is for women to take a step back, allow men to take up the breadwinner/leader role, but I feel this is a regression to past ways of being. As women take on more leadership, science, etc (traditionally masculine roles), the answer isn't to ask them to stop and move backward. The response is for men to lean into/be open to their feminine side and a caretaker role. Definitely not to say that we just swap the gender roles, but as women step into more masculine roles, men should equally step into more feminine roles (like the HEAL careers) and we can find balance. I think the struggle right now is that women are exploring their masculine energy, but men are resistant to exploring their feminine energy. Largely because we've seen feminine traits (caretaker, support, nurturing, etc) as weaker than masculine traits, when in reality they are both needed for society to function.

[@zeminoid]

Because there are no women next to him, if not they would womansplain how we should just suffer.

[@rickstevenson9585]

@@rickysandwich women don’t want feminine men though. They want muscular 6’4 Chad.

[@AmandineYlan]

@@rickstevenson9585 That's pretty much the opposite of what I've observed in uni

[@justinh9282]

I tried going into the nursing field and started out as a CNA and it was absolutely horrible. I could deal with figuratively (and almost literally) breaking my back as a male doing the heavy lifting, as well as being asked to deal with the more abusive residents. I could deal with drinking 3 energy drinks a day to keep up. I could deal with the backstabbing culture within CNAs, and the constant moral accusations against me and other CNAs by coworkers who just stroll in out of nowhere. I could deal with running myself into the ground and not being appreciated at all by almost anyone. The worst part of it for me that tipped the scale was feeling like I wasn't a part of anything good. Costs for supplies kept getting cut as well as our hours, by sending CNAs home early under the lie of "Low Census," that there were suddenly somehow too many CNAs per resident, and doubling the workload of CNAs for the remaining hours. It was understood that we were pressured to do things in an unsafe way due to the imposed constraints. That was already the case when I started, but it was only continuing to get even worse. I just so happened to walk into the nurse's station to get something when my nurse for that day (one of my few genuinely good coworkers that I appreciated working with) was apparently raising these concerns with the admin (it was only them until I walked in), and the admin only had to say, with a strong air of condescension, "The CNAs should be able to handle their jobs." I knew I had to leave. I did not want to be the reason that somebody got hurt. I was new with my license and I could tell that nobody gives a damn, that even healthcare is profit-driven to the extreme. I left and decided not to continue down that career path. As a side note this was in 2020 for $14 usd/hr, by far the highest wage I could find for a CNA job at that time (most CNA jobs were around $8-$12/hr), which I hardly survived on. I understand its considered a "bad job" and RNs make more, but my point is I have no desire to "move up" in a corrupt system that hurts the people its supposed to care for, and I'd rather just die alone on a cold floor than ever go to some LTC place for care.

[@th5841]

At least the stock holders get good return on their investments. That is what counts, isn't it? /:

[@xogus8551]

Its heartbreaking to read your comment my man. As a rn for the past 7 years, Ive seen our (canada) healthcare system crumble before my eyes. And im sure its the same or worse down in the states. I see this video as an impetus for creating systemic change in our education, economic, and healthcare system because currently, THEY ALL EFFIN BROKEN. It almost feels as though nobody cares anymore, well at least the people in the “higher ups”. Corporations and management mistake profit for proficiency. This scares me to the core because if we’re creating a culture of ignorance and lack of compassion for the future generations, who’s going to be caring for us when we’re old? -almost burnt out critical care nurse

[@patrickocampo958]

Were those difficulties felt only by you as a man, or do you think the issues with stressful work conditions and backstabbing applied to everyone regardless of gender? I'm honestly asking.

[@ti-lo5hy]

It's by design.

[@willlamme1988]

@Patrick OCampo the backstabbing culture is systemic and sometimes noticeably worse as a guy. Women don't use physical violence to solve conflict. They destroy reputations. My therapist says all the nurses he has all report extremely toxic work environments.

[@Rice_Cake_]

I hope this issue gets real attention by balanced thinkers like this. It doesn't help women or men to think of eithers' progress as zero sum.

[@NoBoundariesMusic03]

I am the only male in the medical assistant program at my community college this semester. I was left out most of the time in class participation. I was looked at as uncomfortable to be around in class even when i did try to participate. I don't know if I will make it this semester, but if I don't, I decided to just go to the military. So tired of the Male hate in this college I go to.

[@gottisttott6350]

you're the perceived oppressor. you're not agreeable to their cause. You are anomalous to them.

[@mads2486]

As a woman, I'll say that the last point is probably the largest issue. It is SO, SO important for children to have close, trusting adult role models of their own gender. It's crucial for young girls to have a strong woman to look up to, and it's imperative that young boys have a strong man to look up to. Someone who can influence them in good ways, and enrich their childhoods. EDIT: I'm glad the replies to this comment have sparked such a discussion- I've seen some great conversations here. Lot's to think about. But my god, some of the people I've replied to have holes for brains. So, I'll just explain a few things here: 1. The reason I stated I was a woman is this: we are talking about an issue experienced by men. If I were to speak on a male issue, while not making my gender clear, people may think I was a male- causing misunderstandings. I also believe that, before going into a discussion, it's important to show the point of view at which you view the world. I view male issues from a female perspective, which I thought was important to include. 2. I'm more than happy to have long, drawn out, thought provoking discussions with anyone in these replies. If you want, I can also supply you with statistics- which I have in some of my replies. However, if I am making an argument to you, and you retort by saying I think like a narcissist and that I seem like a psychopath- then it crosses a boundary. Retort to any of my points, but don't insult me in the process. Especially when I have been polite to you. 3. If I make a point explaining an issue women frequently deal with, please don't make your only rebuttal ' But men go through that too! You're ignoring men's issues. ' In no way do I intend to ignore male issues. However, if you claim that ' half of domestic abusers are female ' then I expect statistics. Because my datasets have told me the vast majority of abusers are male. Point is; please don't use male issues as a way to silence female issues. We can advocate for them both, at the same time- nobody, no matter their gender, should be a victim of abuse. 4. Yes, of course it's important for children to have both parents. Regardless of the child's gender- thought that was common sense. My original point was that, if it came down to choosing, then a role model / guardian / parent of the same gender to the child would be the preferred route. Sorry if I didn't convey that clearly.

[@NC-nc3gs]

Please change your comment. It is also important for girls to have BOTH; a father and a mother figure. Not a strong women. Same goes for boys. We are in a transient period where strong man/women are used where their meaning is changing and what they need are good parents. This definition is much more focused. Edit: Sorry if I came across as bully forcing her to change comment. I just wanted her to understand, the first goal should be both parents for kids. I am saying this because, in modern times, having a single mom get custody of kids is not the best solution always. For example, daughter needs dad to be there to show how boys think, or to be dependable. A female role model is good, but in many cases as child grows they find flaws in parents. From their lack of knowledge, or to their habits or personality traits. That is part of growing up, so given chance that a girl is closer to mom to look up to her, or have neutral favorites and consider dad as equally important? I would prefer it latter. It goes other way too. Dads usually spoil their daughters and it is important to have a mom to ground them to realities. Without saying, it goes same for boys. Boys need to learn how to respect a women, how to court a women, and learn responsibilities as man from women's perspective from mothers. TLDR; Role model, a person to look up to, are definitely good thing to have for a child. Especially if it is their own parents. But that is not the best utopia, there is even better one. Having a grounded family. Ideally the family should instill the characteristics of a role model in their child.

[@koji4059]

Unrelated but what’s ur pfp

[@_Upex_]

@@NC-nc3gs they should not change their comment

[@fork9001]

While yes, there is a significant chance fatherless boys and motherless girls end up much worse, it would be best that both a positive male and female figure are present during childhood.

[@dybiosol]

@@NC-nc3gs The OPs comment means the same thing. Though the kid needs both father and mother figures, the immediate gender parent will always influence their kid faster than the opposite gender. The father will always understand what his boy means/wants to say while the mother with her girl. A kid will most definitely love both their parents, but only one will be able to understand their specific issues and problems and those advices are what will shape the kid.

[@XGoken]

This might’ve been the push for me to become a school teacher, my mentor told me I would probably end up doing it based on the way I am and yet I doubted I’d ever want to do that. But I’ve become *increasingly* drawn towards helping the youth and helping them create a bright future for themselves, especially since there’s a lack of male teaching figures in the black community.

[@niklasmitfussl2639]

JUST, DO IT

[@360.Tapestry]

or you'll find out you're not getting through against the onslaught of online influencers and stubborn parents and then rage quit to make more money in another profession

[@iqbalindaryono8984]

@@360.Tapestry Ok doomer

[@360.Tapestry]

@@iqbalindaryono8984 go ahead. do it then

[@gaggudhillon1535]

Stop making yourself feel better. Teachers are dorks

[@brendonbuchanan1328]

I had a vocational welding class with a male teacher in highschool, and that man did wonders for almost every kid in the class. He really turned 40 problem kids into hardworking respectable men. I wanted to be a teacher, but when you look at how expensive college is, and then how much teachers get paid, why would I when I can go do blue collar work and make more out the gate without education.

[@ambitiousbeauty1013]

There are a lot of teacher loan forgiveness programs out there. They need teachers real bad so the state would be willing to wipe away all your college debt if you decide to become a teacher. Also some states don't require a degree. They are making it easier to become a teacher nowadays.

[@ChristianRaymondFilms]

In my industry of action sports women are still 30 years behind then men but somehow get paid the same if not more. Seems fair

[@lscossar]

This isn't a women vs. men issue, this is a society vs. men issue. I feel like I matured just at the time these charges started to develop (I'm 70) and by the time I was a husband and a father, about 1990, I could plainly see that the culture in the US had turned against men. It's both a backlash and an overcompensation. Women clearly were in a lower rung of society when I was born in 1952. The women's movement gave them the chance they deserved and they never looked back. I worked in television and the number of shows, movies and commercials that were being produced showing men as comically inept was staggering. Both genders were responsible for the production of this content. The affect media has on the collective psyche and culture is well documented. Not only were men faced with having to redefine themselves as a gender but they being beaten down and laughed at while trying to reinvent themselves. I don't blame women for this at all, I blame the insidious and unchecked power of traditional media and now social media. One major societal problem was largely addressed only to create a new one.

[@userNOTfound1-3]

Indeed. Every solution brings its own problem

[@Echo81Rumple83]

more like class versus class issues. the people at the top of the socioeconomic ladder tend to dictate how others should live their lives like a bunch of hot-aired philosophers that would make Socrates roll in his grave, and at the same time, said billionaires will never walk the walk and do a bunch of cowardly, selfish things that puts everyone else below the 99% at risk. fascists, noblemen, and people of feudalism will always point out the enemy and the "others" every single era we go through in order to hang onto the human construct of power via wealth and money. hence why we need to tax the rich.

[@m2pozad]

Quite naive, for having been there during all the militant white male bashing. Never forget that- "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle".

[@jamescai3490]

@@walter9243 that's a very disingenuous way of framing the history. obviously women won't be able to contribute as much to society as the "average man" because they simply were not given the same opportunities and expectations. when put in similar deplorable situations, the functional difference between men and women is negligible. throughout history you see women working in coal mines, textile mills, factories, fighting in resistance groups, etc. the only reason we can enjoy the luxuries of a semi liberated society is due to the plenty of "average men" and women who dared to complain about the future set out for them by business magnates and tycoons and the whims of corrupt leaders and high society (which are also, not exclusively male!) -- the senseless wars, horrible working conditions and whatnot which people complained about and fixed by disrupting society (think to Vietnam in the US and the labor movements across the world). what you've illustrated is more a class issue: poor men and women will work hard their whole lives, turning the invisible gears of society for a couple of rich people who will profit off their honest labor. moreover, while there's no purpose in trying to compete in an oppression olympics, I think a decent point could be made that the typical man is oppressed -- which most actual feminists will agree with! (not the loud, annoying """feminists""" that people love to repost on the internet) hence the support for mental health initiatives for males and other such programs. it was never a men vs women issue, but a men and women vs societal culture and norms issue.

[@Cuticatie]

​@@jamescai3490 no, those feminists are the same, they are sexists, men-haters, and always argue or being passive aggressive. There is no solution for ideologically driven people who are resentful, revengeful and egoistical. What walter says is true.