Are Men Rejecting Patriarchy? *Rise of ‘Zesty’ Men*

Are Men Rejecting Patriarchy? Rise of ‘Zesty’ Men

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Күн бұрын

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@hilo6487 Жыл бұрын

"raise a black man and parent little black girls." What do you mean by that? I think you need to have some discord with Black Women, because us being to most collegiate decorated demographic and fastest growing group on entrepreneurs is not a byproduct of us being 'parented', but rather aged by our community and outside communities at an early age and we are taught from an early age men are very fickle and unreliable (at least Black men, unfortunately.) I think you should listen to talking point of Chrissie or Chloe_, or even Kim (For Harriet) to see we didn't get the better end of the stick. ❤

@herbyxrevolus Жыл бұрын

I appreciate your question genuinely. Because the purview of this video was black men & masculinity I didn’t have the opportunity to go in depth about black women or their adultification. What I intended to do was create a visual in the mind of the viewer that doesn’t negate the adultification of black little girls, specifically within the familial context, but explains it’s dichotomy. Black folk are adultifying black girls by hyper-sexualizing them & the failure of providing a reciprocal kind of support, on part of black men, definitely pushes black women into a specific kind of independence. But conversely many black parents are often raising black girls to be wives before they can even walk. And so in my view, there is a large portion of black parents grooming black girls into a life of adultified childhood, if you will, because of the expectation of unrequited submission associated with wifehoood. To view life & do life under the guise of a man. A life where all final decisions are ultimately made not in compromise, but by the “man of the house”. To be marriageable and desirable in a white supremacist patriarchal society are deemed a women’s greatest accomplishments. And in a community, the black community, where black women are given less access to those things, the burden of being submissive enough, docile enough, and agreeable enough is impressed upon black girls at a much larger scale and younger age. I think there is something infantilizing about raising a female child to be perpetually submissive in adulthood & to construct their adult life around another adult. Where is the fullness of autonomy & agency in cis-het black womanhood if that is the parental rearing, you know? I absolutely want to do a video on this in the future including the perspectives and research of black women, so they can give their take. But that is just my analysis atp. I’m open to learning more & I looove Kim! Also, I love deeply & engage constantly with black women. Black women friends, family, mentors, and scholarship. Again thank you so much for the question. ❤

@lillybilly9954 Жыл бұрын

I just want to offer the possibility that black girls are actually parentized. In one of your examples there is a very young black girl tasked with the care of a toddler she is too young to even hold. That’s the reality for us. We’re also are considered more culpable for our behavior. Because boys will be boys. And this extends to our own abuse. The behavior we see of black men is not typical of a people forced to grow up to fast. It is however, typical of people who are emotionally stunted and neglected. After all they are the ones vacating the households. I agree that this is due to the conditions you outlined very well in your video. It’s not because they’re given adult responsibility. That’s what happens to black girls.

@jalaaaah Жыл бұрын

this is what i was gonna say; malcom x didn’t say what he said about black women for no reason. the saying i’ve always heard was that “black women raise their daughters & coddle their sons”. men are always given a slap on the wrist with sayings like “boys will be boys” or “boys are irrational because of their hormones”. meanwhile women are faced with being solely responsible for their actions & are always be expected to make the best decisions because we’re the “more mature” ones and being a black woman just elevates that expectation.

@jalaaaah Жыл бұрын

@Blackpill PB yes. if a black woman has a child out of wedlock she will be shunned way more than the black man she had the child with. when something bad happens to black men, black women rally up behind them even in the most extreme or undeserving situations yet black women are not given that same grace & support unless they have an innocent image. women are also extremely hard on their daughters & passive with their sons ,and men focus more on keeping their daughters in line than their sons in general because policing your daughters is considered protecting them instead of just raising the sons to be better collectively.

@lillybilly9954 Жыл бұрын

One need only look at the outcome. The collective of bm are not showing up in the world as people who grew up with too much responsibility. It’s just not true.

@russelljames5631 11 ай бұрын

If you ever hear a woman say “a real man” it’s bouta be some foolishness coming after it.

@tbj4855 11 ай бұрын

Agreed they’re delusional

@lexa7250 10 ай бұрын

Clap back with a "real woman " see the melt down

@alandoodles 2 ай бұрын

So true. I'm a woman myself but I internally groan when my mother starts a sentence with that phrase. Honestly my younger brother doesn't enjoy it either. We just both internally sigh when it happens.

@klickonthat5244 Жыл бұрын

My dad is a pretty masculine man, but he also valued expressing yourself productively and valued my choices as an individual. I'm always going to be grateful to him for that.

@TheeKingOfKings Жыл бұрын

Being you and not giving a fuck is one of the manliest things a man can do.

@Avocadocolorado Жыл бұрын

What about ll cool j ....he was the sassy for that part

@princess.elondon502 Жыл бұрын

Es❤a

@Mamamangolina 10 ай бұрын

Hey I enjoyed ur video 😂

@TheSamanthaEdit Жыл бұрын

Black people don't get to be children at all, it's SICK. I saw a news story not long ago where the anchor had to apologize the next day because she referred to a 10-year-old boy as a MAN. TEN. 😡

@Pjhnsn. Жыл бұрын

And that’s nobody’s fault but black ppl. The same black ppl who call little black girls fast and grown. That’s an in house problem and y’all have to start actually working together to be the change you wanna see. Instead of just talking so much shit with the woe is me.

@theetherealmuse.2209 Жыл бұрын

@@Pjhnsn. whoever you are keep comments yourself . Mr. Sassy

@brib6046 Жыл бұрын

@@Pjhnsn. it’s an in house problem, yes, but it didn’t start in OUR HOUSE. Or rather our houses are often built with oppressor’s tools.

@TheSamanthaEdit Жыл бұрын

@@Pjhnsn. Since it's clear that you're not Black (and therefore REALLY should just sit back and either LISTEN whilst ShuttingTFU or STFU and head out, but I digress), then I can only assume that you're here to introduce into the discussion how your predatory, undercooked, unseasoned ancestors are ACTUALLY the ones to blame for this, seeing as how they were the ones who had children as young as FIVE YEARS OLD working in their fields, and girls as young as TWELVE bearing their mixed gRAPE babies who worked in the house. Don't come over here with your "pull yourselves up by your boot straps", palm-colored BS unless you're going to be ALL THE WAY HONEST. If you cannot, I assume you know where the door is, toots.

@BeastNationXIV Жыл бұрын

@@brib6046 Say that one more time.

@melaniesinclair8380 Жыл бұрын

I definitely understand black boys aren't raised to be black boys AT ALL, as a black woman I feel like (especially in single mother households) we are raised to be black girls up until around the age of puberty, then we stop being "raised" and begin being treated as women that our mother's are jealous of. We immediately go from being seen as a smart, adorable and amazing little girl to being shamed for having the confidence they instilled in us ("You must think you're all that..."). Us being raised whole and happy into adulthood and finding happiness that they feel they lost access too because of our existence is not something that they want us to have. This is how they raise black "mean girls". Mom is often the first black woman you feel you're in an unspoken competition with and it never goes away.

@fae3821 Жыл бұрын

I remember seeing this post where someone said something like parents give up when their kid turns 11 or 12. I felt so alone when I got to middle school. Every issue I had with teasing from girls or harassment from boys was brushed off by my mom. If I told her someone called me ugly she'd say, "Well do you think you're ugly?" And 12 year old me was confused, so I would just shrug because how am I going to think I'm beautiful if you can't even say it or show it? Then, (also in middle school) there was a Black female assistant principal who I told about being followed around and grabbed by a boy & she told me to just ignore it & acted like I was bothering her. Long story short, I had to start hitting and shoving boys & luckily I had a best friend who could fight & did not play about her friends. It's hard to explain, but some parents are not really present after 11, like they want the school to do all the raising. As for the school staff, I know managing 1,500 kids is exhausting but that AP I ran to in the hallway for help when I was 13 couldn't have cared less so a lot of us are just on our own and are lucky if a teacher can help, as busy & underpaid as they are.

@fae3821 Жыл бұрын

Also, for me, I didn't have the confidence. I was quiet, awkward, & made good grades so I never thought anyone was jealous of anything but me being a lil smart & getting a sticker for it lol. Then I got to high school and had box braids for the first time and finally felt cute & my teacher said I looked pretty, so I said thank you and another light skin Black girl said "she think she all that" and laughed with her friend. I thought to myself, huh? Are we expected to not take compliments? And now that I'm 24 my mom has no problem insulting me either🙃(telling me I look like a street walker & that my butt sticks out too much)

@tristanjackson8736 Жыл бұрын

Reminds me of the movie Precious

@chenellebeautytv Жыл бұрын

Whew, this a WORD 🙌🏽💯

@godemperorletoatreidesii6971 11 ай бұрын

I still can’t wrap my head around a parent being jealous of a child or competing with their child but once you see it you can’t unsee it. It’s seems wrong in the same way canabalism and incest is wrong

@RoyaltyAC 10 ай бұрын

As a woman, it's made me sad to see other women complaining about the zesty man thing. Especially because many of them are also frustrated with how BW are treated in society and within our community. I'm like: hon, that's patriarchy. If we disparage men for being "zesty" then we also uphold the very thing that causes us harm. I don't think too many people are ready to have the conversation about what patriarchy really is and what it looks like to undo it.

@lilbilliam Жыл бұрын

I'm literally writing this script now

@TheInsaneBEAST1 Жыл бұрын

I can't wait 😊😊

@herbyxrevolus Жыл бұрын

Dope af! Great minds lol. Can’t wait to watch yours!!!

@BeastNationXIV Жыл бұрын

I'll be ready to save it to my "TV cue" playlist, watch it in the car on the way to or from class, rewatch it for context after I get home, and cast it from my laptop to my TV, and watch it again while I'm doing homework (or working on a customer's order) in my headphones, so I can catch everything I missed. Come on wit it.

@BeastNationXIV Жыл бұрын

As a Black queer man, who is built like a teddy bear, born between Aries and Pisces (Mar 21), presents masculine, is sensitive as fuck, is artistic and musically inclined (makes beats and draws stuff), collects dolls called "action figures," joined the military to "become a real man" (to serve his father's interests), fell on his face, realized he had to come out in his mid 20s, loves Hip-Hop/R&B from 60s to now, and is currently his mid 30s trying to deal in a "community" of fellow queer folk who are silent and cold as fuck to black queer men like me who don't work it like Billy Porter, doesn't force straight men to question their sexuality like Prince, doesn't Ru Paul's presence or money, and doesn't look like any of the beautiful black brothas in "The Skinny," and is just...a guy...I wanna say one thing to you. *You SAID that shit. Thank you two times...Nah, THREE times.* But another thing, you'll always win with me when you got James Baldwin on your wall. I'll say it till I die: We wouldn't have 2Pac without Langston Hughes and James Baldwin. Stay woke, stay strong, stay beautiful, continue to spread love, and keep your pockets full of dollars, even if you've only got $5 to your name.✊🏽

@CallieFromBeyond Жыл бұрын

thank you to x

@danielleparra4800 Жыл бұрын

I love 60s r&b 😊

@yososii3944 Жыл бұрын

Fem guys are the marker of our kind because you masculine guys can hide if you choose to. You don’t bear the mark. You’re also the most desired within our community.

@happygucci5094 Жыл бұрын

Loved this comment. Keep ya head up my beautiful black brother. Much 💗

@rubyreduxx Жыл бұрын

Navigating like a pro 💙🙌🏾

@ShinraTogami Жыл бұрын

This topic is a bit of a strange one for me. I'm a young black man who grew up in a single parent household with my mom as a provider. I never had the opportunity to learn what a man was supposed to be, but at the same time, I was never forced to step up as the man of the house because my mom (bless her) worked her ass off so that I wouldn't have to. But growing up, I never found myself interested in normative masculine things, like sports, cars, exercise. So it kind of alienated me from the boys growing up. I was drawn to the girls because of their constant community and expression, but I didn't want to immerse myself in feminine centered things either. I've grown up accepting that I am a man, and now I'm much more accepting of doing things like painting my nails and putting on some extra accessories, but I still feel like in some way I failed masculinity? I hope that makes sense. It's a bit difficult getting my thoughts out on this topic. Thank you for taking the time to discuss it.

@LuwdaLivraria Жыл бұрын

This makes perfect sense. You didn't fail masculinity for not upholding the same self hurtful mysoginistic version most boys are unfortunately taught. You seem to be in a path towards finding masculinity that Will fullfill you while not harming others, especially women. Keep growing and stay well.

@tristanclewis Жыл бұрын

I feel your comment on so many levels seeing as how our circumstances are so similar. I also find myself battling with my own identity and how I express it even though I understand how I feel. I still, (like literally minutes ago) find myself feeling like I'm oscillating between my masculinity and femininity, and feel the need to lean into my masculinity to compensate for the fact that I'm not super masculine. I'm okay with the fact that I'm androgynous, but I still have this subconscious urge to "defeminize" myself at times. It's a bit of a challenge to apply my own self confident mindset to my life, I guess with time and practice it'll feel more natural and I'll be able to not be so in my head constantly. 😌

@quincyquincy4764 Жыл бұрын

@@LuwdaLivraria That was a great answer to his question. I couldn't have said it better myself

@IamRocque Жыл бұрын

@@tristanclewis I felt this deeply!

@IamRocque Жыл бұрын

@Blackpill PB He didn’t fail at all! He is choosing his own path and that’s what masculinity is really about believe it or not. He is making a way for himself because the men that were supposed to be there just didn’t!

@chancemitchell4147 Жыл бұрын

For the past few years, I have been trying to uhh…define my masculinity. I’ve always been gentle and very much in-tune with my own emotions. Ever since I was a kid. And because of that, I’ve always thought I “wasn’t a man” or not “manly” because of that. I never thought I was gay because of it but I always othered myself because I wasn’t like my father or my homeboys. That said, I’ve been moving into my masculinity being defined solely and only by me. Very much gentle and soft, but physically strong and supportive of all people. So. I appreciate this topic.

@biancalord488 Жыл бұрын

I could definitely appreciate a man like you.

@TantineLapoze Жыл бұрын

You should look into the term HIGH SENSITIVE PERSON I resonate with what you’re saying a lot as a woman ❤

@TantineLapoze Жыл бұрын

Highly**

@chancemitchell4147 Жыл бұрын

@@biancalord488 I appreciate that!

@chancemitchell4147 Жыл бұрын

@@TantineLapoze thank you for this!

@Abonphire Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for speaking on these points, I’m a straight black man, dark skin at that. I grew up in the hood. But I’m an actor, artist, soft spoken. I always considered myself outside the norm of most black boys growing up around me and because of that I always had to prove my masculinity. This put me in a really dark place growing up, I was fighting a lot, would think of cutting my life short. It was bad. I tried changing myself so many times. But I realize this is who I am and not I’m alone there so many different sides to being a black man. I love myself today . MOST IMPORTANTLY I also realized half of if not all the things I was questioned for would never be an issue if was white or even light skinned.

@YoungKELP Жыл бұрын

Still not understanding why grown men feel they are important enough to tell another grown man how to act or dress that’s weirdo behavior 🤣🤣

@lexa7250 10 ай бұрын

Fr creepy asf

@ak5659 11 ай бұрын

Near the beginning you pointed out that cis-het men today are still doing the work and taking the responsibilities of their fathers & grandfathers but are no longer receiving the rewards/benefits associated with that. You are the first non cis-het man I'm aware of to acknowledge that as a fact and not label it as 'men complaining ..... again'. Pretty important, IMO.

@Yes-bn6yy 10 ай бұрын

Frrr

@MiscellaneousMeMe 6 ай бұрын

Can I just ask, genuinely, what ‘work’ are cis-het men doing currently? What ‘work’ were they doing previously? I am assuming the benefits are surrounding the unpaid labour of cis-het women? Thanks in advance.

@omarhoward758 Жыл бұрын

This was a great analysis on Black male masculinity. I am screaming at Madame Aubrey 😂 you ain’t right for that! So glad I found your channel!!

@nyjahcooper2938 Жыл бұрын

YOU ATE WITH THIS ONE !

@herbyxrevolus Жыл бұрын

Omg, thank you sm 🙏🏿 ♥️

@carmantaridley7592 Жыл бұрын

I’m manifesting you and Kimberly Foster to one day have a discussion together. You two’s brains are astonishing and I’m truly impressed at how intellectual and intelligent you both are. Amazing.

@MISSMADISONMEDIA Жыл бұрын

Kimberly is legendary!

@jumpdumppyy Жыл бұрын

Oooh and Joulzey too!! 😍😍

@jjpopesupremacy8762 Жыл бұрын

THIS IS WHAT WE NEED

@jjpopesupremacy8762 Жыл бұрын

@@jumpdumppyy wait!!!

@LaurieChristina Жыл бұрын

🙌🏿 , that’s who he reminded me off. The commentary, the intellect, the captivation… it’s off the charts.

@Anonymous-vc5jt Жыл бұрын

what I don’t understand is why can’t men do anything without people making it a big deal as soon as a man does something that’s not as manly or masculine it’s almost like taboo or something. It either leads to him getting picked on or even worse I just feel like people need to let men be themselves without making everything such a problem

@wiswc Жыл бұрын

When will people understand that "being a man" or "being a woman" is not an identity, it doesn't define you, it is just your sex

@godrules3596 11 ай бұрын

Keep telling your self that darling

@wiswc 11 ай бұрын

@@godrules3596 I will, because it's the truth and I dare you to say anything about it you religious freak. And I'm not your "darling"

@godrules3596 11 ай бұрын

@@wiswc Darling calm the fuck down and you guys are the freaks making up non-existent genders. Outside of religion you can clearly see the downfall of society ever since the government allowed this lgbtq delusion? No wonder why Boomers say the early 1900's were better they aint have to deal with this nonsense and weirdos trynna invent new genders so DARLING stfu

@ambersummer2685 11 ай бұрын

Heh I disagree. If you’re binary that’s different and you’d identify with being a man or woman. What about people that are trans? They don’t match their sex and identify as a man or woman. At some point you either identify as a man, woman or non-binary. Not acknowledging our differences I think is naive and not likely to happen. No matter the society and its expectations, our differences eventually show and most identify with that. Just watch young children play together. The younger they are the less influence of who they should be. They play and interact differently.

@wiswc 11 ай бұрын

@@ambersummer2685 I never said there aren't inherent differences between men and women but none of those are reason enough for people to define themselves with their sex , a man can do almost anything a woman can do, a woman can do almost anything a man can do, in almost all situations trying to put limits around the behavior of people based on sex is at best weird and unnecessary and at worst extremely harmful and sexist. Being trans or binary isn't something I understand, but I do understand that any identity that comes from sex is mostly the result of bigots forcing people to act in certain ways based on sex, it's mostly not natural.

@wlaswill Жыл бұрын

The fact this got me all the way together and I ended up having therapy 20 minutes after I was done watching. What great day haha.

@leoneltorres4442 Жыл бұрын

I have 3 sons by 3 different women and 2 of them ended up being gay and i never ever made them feel any different for being who they are . I love my sons .

@jakestroll6518 Жыл бұрын

You are ridiculous. Clearly proud of being an absent dad and turning three women into single mothers. And then running here to seek points for doing the bare minimum. Pathetic. You are pathetic.

@sunnyflower6143 Жыл бұрын

I agree with everything you said. This was really insightful and amazing work. However, I will say that black girls are adultified as children as well. It definitely looks different in black girls and black boys as far as treatment, but black girls do not get to have a childhood either. Little black girls get referred to as "fast" and "grown" in childhood for just existing. There are a lot of assumptions that black girls, and black children in general are doing things that adults do at a young age already. These assumptions come from family and the outside world, even medical professionals that assume young black girls are sexually active or doing drugs as children. There is no protection or innocence given to black girls either. There's not a lot of comfort or support that should be given. Black girls get shamed for their bodies as children and are hyper sexualized and hyper masculinized as well. When a black girl is vulnerable you hear, "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about," too. Or when a black girl advocates for herself she is angry, sassy, or has an attitude or is trying to be grown. I think this is really important to keep in mind. There are also some black mothers that give more grace to their sons than they do their daughters. Not to mention, black daughters have to take on the role of being a caregiver to their brothers depending on the household. Girlhood Interrupted speaks a lot on how black girls are adultified. There is a series adultification bias when it comes to black girls and black boys, black children in general. We really need to dismantle white supremacy and break away from the patriarchy as a whole. I think that you really do a good job at analyzing blackness and gender. I feel like the experiences of black boys should not be overlooked, it definitely should be talked about more. I think this is why the movie Moonlight really has a special place in my heart. I feel like it's one of the only movies that really shows the reality of how it is for a black boy being raised to be a black man. I can't wait to see more from you!

@connorparker8622 10 ай бұрын

Moonlight is one of the greatest movies of all time, incredible portrayal of having childhood stolen

@datboi42 10 ай бұрын

They’re referred to as being fast and grown because they’re being fast and grown

@Geminisag314 Жыл бұрын

I'm hooked on your content.. I love the way you articulate issues

@AXFN_ Жыл бұрын

I wasn’t alive in the 70s and 80s, but I wanna know how black masculinity was enforced back then in the era of Prince, Rick James, or even Earth Wind & Fire. Did you see how those guys dressed? Yet the conversations over confining black masculinity to an ever smaller scope of expression seem to be louder than ever today in the 2020s… 🤔

@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024 Жыл бұрын

Oh those were the EXCEPTIONS, we can’t forget they were being bashed too! It was bad then too! But it appears we need more of that in the modern world to confront these issues! Thank God for Lil Nas! But he can’t do it alone!😭

@AXFN_ Жыл бұрын

@@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024 were they though? For example, people might think it’s ‘zesty’ to wear flare jeans but EVERYONE wore flare jeans in the 70s. It was the norm. So it makes me wonder when that cultural shift happened. 🤔

@fartunyep4501 Жыл бұрын

Yeah i get suprised with Prince. He looks and seems very zesty and yet he isnt called that. Its weird

@Heyitschy03 Жыл бұрын

@@fartunyep4501he is a pedo.

@d2dar459 Жыл бұрын

I'm an 80s baby. It was pretty much enforced the way it always has been, with the same narrow idea. Prince (and artists like him) didn't do much to change that in my experience in the black community.

@ajam5988 Жыл бұрын

This was truly an ascended video. You really did your thing with this one.

@thatgirlreece6078 8 ай бұрын

I feel so honored to be here before you're famous.

@knitmore3 Жыл бұрын

What do you think about the saying that as single Black moms we raise our daughters and love our sons? Especially in this context. I do agree with you. When you talked about the mom getting on the sons level at 3 asking him if he’s a baby or big boy. Yep I did that too. My son is 25. Looking back that was horrible and the beginning of his indoctrination. I didn’t raise him to be the man of the house just because of my own upbringing and trying to break that particular thing. But I did adultify him to a point. Now I need to go have a conversation with him. Thanks for your content!

@socialist-strong 11 ай бұрын

Being trans and dating other trans people (called t4t) makes you realize most of this stuff doesn’t really matter as much as some people make it out to. I’m a young woman and I do stereotypically “masculine” stuff like lift weights. My boyfriend likes stereotypically “feminine” stuff like baking. He lives his emotions very intensely and on the spot, whereas I’m a little slower and more analytical. Yet none of that calls into question either of our identities or our roles. I’m not gonna stop being a woman just cuz I lift more than him, he’s not gonna stop being a man just cuz he shows his emotions more than me. If your girl is strong, provides for you, she’s a protector, etc stereotypes, enjoy it, that’s awesome! If your man is pretty, sensitive, or other stereotype, great, there’s a lot to cherish there. Neither is an attack on your identity. It’s just a little different than the narrow mould you may have grown up with.

@SaberToothPortilla Жыл бұрын

Sassy. And yes, you were spitting on this one. It's really hard to describe, but there'a definitely a "time warp" somewhere for black youth. I feel like it's around... 10-ish to 18 is kinda all treated as if you're an adult. Which I guess *is* something that happens in many communities, and to many individuals because of, for example, extenuating circumstances, but with black folks there's definitely an imposition of that idea on us, both within and without. A lot of it is material conditions, if you've been or been in community with someone who's lived in an area with a good amount of gang activity, that shit is not a game. If you can walk upright, write your name, and aren't under 5'0", you aren't exempt. If you don't "adult" up and mind your fucking bussiness and/or get with program, the consequences are dire. There's no space for petty shit, or at least it isn't so petty any more. And a lot of it is kinda this... imposed archetype? Like if I ask you to think of 5 words that you'd associate with "black teen" and "black adult", they are almost certainly not the same that you'd say for "teen" and "adult", and chances are they're similar to each other. Why is that? And that's something that's likely more common in people who don't have community with us, and that impacts decisions and even policy in many cases. It's a lot for sure.

@yagurla 11 ай бұрын

Damn, public school teachers should be required to watch this

@MoreMaddie Жыл бұрын

Oh he’s spilling 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

@herbyxrevolus Жыл бұрын

Thank you Maddie 😇♥️

@aniahmiles8686 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing, thank you for bringing things to the forefront and thank you for your love. I’ve been quiet these past few videos bc I be listening while I’m at work. But I wanted to pop in and tell you I love you! 💕

@avirei98 11 ай бұрын

Already made a comment but here's another one. They actually did a study where they had a bunch of kids sitting at a table. All of different ethnic groups, boys and girls and they had them all just doing stuff and they told people to come in. Watch the children and look for misconduct and the used eye tracking technology to see you where they were focusing and almost all of them, including the black people were focusing on the little black boy 😢. You know what else is wild to me. Black people celebrate Prince and that was the most androgynous heterosexual male I had ever seen in my life. Literally the first time I saw Prince was in a movie that he had and the man literally had on heels and a shimmery Gotti outfit talking about how much he loves girls. This was in the '90s. The movie I had of his was on VHS. I don't remember the name of it but the whole movie was all about Prince. I remember one of the scenes he was in an alleyway, but the thing I remember the most is that he was a heterosexual man wearing heels. But I didn't think he was gay and it didn't make him unattractive to me. I still thought he was very much so attractive. It didn't make him any less of a man. I didn't think he was a girl or was trying to be a girl. He was just a man who was a musician who was different from other men around him in heels.. and I had that movie in the '90s and it could have been set in the '80s. It could have been from the eighties. I don't know I was a child. I was under 10 years old when I saw this movie

@madis0nnn___ Жыл бұрын

this has to be one of my favorite video essays ever. i’ve rewatched this so many times. great video!!

@brib6046 Жыл бұрын

I kinda wish you did touch on A$AP Rocky, but I may have to check out the pateron so see if he is included. I feel like how Rocky has presented himself it does mirror a lot of what you said about Drake, but he doesn’t really croon or sing in his music. I just keep thinking about how often he called himself a “pretty boy”. But I guess an even better comparison to Drake maybe Tyler the Creator, but he was always seen as a “weirdo” and “white” in a lot of mainstream convos. As always, you’ve left me a lot to think about!

@ismaelSounds 11 ай бұрын

Just dropping in hear to say you are one of my favorite channels, glad I ran into your content!

@ZaeBean Жыл бұрын

Man I forgot to comment when I finished the video! My mistake. Loved the video and loved your vibe. Sent this way by Lil Bill. ❤️❤️

@somniumlucidus969 Ай бұрын

One of the only real times i saw this showed in a movie was in the end of Attack The Block, a movie about UK hoodlum teens fighting an alien invasion. Toward the end, youve seen the main black kid leading evwryone with the stoic attitude, and theres an older white woman whos joined the squad due to circumstances. Theres a point where the boy reveals that he's 14, and her ensuing shock is actually given a few moments even in the midst of the chaos. As a gentle giant who was about 6'1 225 lbs in 8th grade, i felt that. I grew up in the bronx and i was a nerd, but there were 2 or three times when i got sent to the principles office along with a kid who was "bullying the big softie", and the teacher walked in and immidiately started yelling at me before being told i was the victim. Not gonna lie that contributed to a lot of repression in me. I learned that i should never... ever be a defendant against anything or anyone and its lead me to take drastiv steps to nope out of conflicts with ceetain more sympathetic demographics real quick. Sucks but it kept me safe.

@kennedigordon4060 Жыл бұрын

Been watching your videos these past few weeks! Happy to consume think pieces from a different viewpoint. Love you down! 🫶🏾💐

@melaniesinclair8380 Жыл бұрын

Now I'm super curious about how Andre 3000's Love Below era would have been recieved if social media was where it was now.

@lelo46 Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂 “Basically niggas wasn’t showing up, niggas was NOT showing up”☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

@utkarshgaur1942 9 ай бұрын

Throughout your video, I kept going back to Moonlight. Great video, great movie.

@darkestDame Жыл бұрын

Just gonna address the elephant in the room that this is pretty much perpetuated by homophobic black women on the internet, sorry. If you have emotions you're "sassy" "got a little sweetness to it" or "in your soft black man era"

@anarchoyeasty3908 Жыл бұрын

Homophobic black women may contribute but to make it sound like they are the primary perpetrator of this is straight up bullshit. Black men do this PLENTY on their own. Don't try and pin this on black women.

@Chiefteeth1 Жыл бұрын

@@anarchoyeasty3908 oh bw are definitely the biggest perpetrators at this point. Y’all will literally have gay friends then turn around and call bm gay for doing anything you don’t deem traditional masculine. Seethe

@mariyahwells1234 11 ай бұрын

This is insightful and I’m not here to discredit this AT ALL. However, this narrative is primarily perpetuated by black men towards other black men. The black women you are referring to are not berating men or calling them “sassy” becaue of them “acting gay” or presenting themselves as traditionally feminine, it’s more so them saying that modern men don’t want to be providers or protectors anymore. I also think it is associated with how men constantly spew misogyny towards women on the internet. The aforementioned acts are “sassy” not painting nails, using lgbt+ slang, etc. Those things are villanized by other men. Now, two things can be true at once and I do think there is homophobia laced in some of these women’s talking points (just not most of them). Again, this is just what I’ve seen; I do not want to invalidate your experience at all. ❤❤

@brian.phillips1985 8 ай бұрын

@@mariyahwells1234I've seen plenty of women call men sassy for just having emotions and being called "sassy" just because you don't want to conform to gender roles is stupid too

@melaniesinclair8380 Жыл бұрын

Sassy! And this is hands down one of my favorite video essays this year. Keep up the great work I cannot wait for more videos!

@brandyjordan5947 11 ай бұрын

Cool video, but I challenge you to make a video on the adultification on black girls on the other end of the spectrum. Your experience is valid but as a black qoman with a brother myself, and an absent father, my brother was coddled and justified and sympathized, and my sisters and I were meant to raise him. And I know other girls like me share my story. Take that 12 year old girl you saw for instance with her brother, ask why a 12 year old little girl was left alone to handle a screaming 3 year old. Where were their parents? She WAS the parent. Most black little girls are forced to raise their little brothers, or serve him like the man of the house. Not saying your video is wrong, but that pendulum swings sis, and it swings HARD. much love boo 🫰🏾

@cadyg2531 Жыл бұрын

I literally can't wait for all the content you drop. love your channel herby xx💜

@Akoa4you Жыл бұрын

Thank you for talking about this 🥺

@fergiemon18 Жыл бұрын

1:37 in annnd subscribe. Glad lil bill recommended you cus I really wanted to hear intellectual discourse from a queer black person as a queer dark skin black man myself. Best of luck to you! 🖤 EDIT: video was great and you’re the cutest!, respectfully

@MadameRuby 10 ай бұрын

I have never really thought about patriarchy with the context of race before ..

@angelinaoliver5587 Жыл бұрын

When you said madam Aubrey I’m in literal tears😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

@ayhisreal12 Жыл бұрын

Refreshing perspective that is very thoroughly and creatively flushed out. You're the future ❤

@flipe125 Жыл бұрын

Subscribed, i saw this in my recommended so this may be ur new hit vid

@destinywilliamson2336 Жыл бұрын

Could Tupac be the medium between Drake and Biggie?? Still shows the “traditional” views of masculinity with some of his lyrics, lack of motherly love that forced him to “get it on his own” but has that softness through his poetry, photo shoots, etc that could be seen as on the “sassy” side in todays time. Maybe he could’ve been a transition factor leading to the Drake’s of today.

@ADubbs-fd8xf Жыл бұрын

Aw man, I got even more work to do than I thought😭. You doing the Lord's work, kinfolk!

@moonadoo1006 6 ай бұрын

I liked playing with Barbies as a kid as well as I had a massive mini car collection as a kid as well

@victorythecreator Жыл бұрын

You gobbled on this one 😮‍💨

@MrsKaylakat56 Жыл бұрын

You know, I've never thought of "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" as a black phrase, but I've never heard a non-black person say it 😂

@FinickyVoid Жыл бұрын

You are delightful and insightful. Funny and informative. You have a new subscriber and I hope you alllll of the success. I doubt the algorithm brought me here? So it must have been colormind. Incredible stuff. Hearing "you do not have to be your father" for the first time in the year I'll be turning 36 really opened my eyes. No wonder I have such a hard time defining masculinity, I've never felt "worthy" of identifying with it, and now the only "masculine" things I see encompass negative traits I don't want to emulate, especially now that I have a daughter. I can't wait to learn more from you my friend

@pinkmenace2452 11 ай бұрын

they’re not rejecting patriarchy they are simply picking and choosing

@dinahnicole3519 Жыл бұрын

NEPHEW did his big one on this 👏🏾👏🏾

@mariyahwells1234 11 ай бұрын

I think that when we speak on black masculinity, black women should be left out of it because there’s always a gap between what people (even other black folks) see as our experience vs. what our experience actually is. I agree with almost every point made in this video, but to imply that black women are granted grace where black men aren’t is….interesting. Especially considering that every time I turn around there is a man calling a black woman masculine to try and employ masculinity on her. Again, great analysis but please don’t speak on groups of peoples experiences you know nothing about ❤❤❤

@Yes-bn6yy 10 ай бұрын

Men and women are not alien to each other. Women know a lot about the male experience and men know a lot about the female experience. We all exist on the same Earth. Hell, humanity knows about planets we’ve never been to, we definitely know about the people we live with.

@mariyahwells1234 10 ай бұрын

@@Yes-bn6yy but there is a vast difference in experiences between these two groups, therefore, it can be difficult for one group to properly represent the mindset of the other. To avoid insensitivity and confusion, it’s best to only speak on your own lives experiences. IMO

@Yes-bn6yy 10 ай бұрын

@@mariyahwells1234 while it’s good not to speak for other people, limiting discussion to only yourself is a great way to hamper mutual understanding between groups. The differences are not that vast and that mindset just continues this gendered tribalism

@mariyahwells1234 10 ай бұрын

@@Yes-bn6yy I don’t think we should limit discussion, but we also shouldn’t speak for others. Herby was stating their opinion as fact as if they can speak for women as a whole.

@Yes-bn6yy 10 ай бұрын

@@mariyahwells1234 ok that’s fair. However, there’s a difference between saying your observations and speaking for an entire population. People unfortunately do that for men all the time to the extent that what they say has become accepted as the “truth”, when you’d be surprised that most men think very very similar to women and that they’re not some aliens incapable of understanding the same people that they live their everyday lives with.

@BeastNationXIV Жыл бұрын

Last thing: When you said "The road to hell...", I finished it, in my best Undertaker voice, at 1 in the am. 🤣

@JoshuaHenelyThornhill Жыл бұрын

this video is a gem

@MeditativeMuse5860 Жыл бұрын

Oooooweeeee sweet baby you opened my eyes at 14:08 breaking down the rush to manhood for our little black boys 😢

@TheSamanthaEdit Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂 this title FORCED me to click IMMEDJIATLEE! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ...they're SO sassy! While leaving no room for us to be feminine...but shame us for NOT being feminine. 🙄

@antimogul1316 Жыл бұрын

calling men "sassy" is a femphobic microaggression just like if someone called a blk woman "angry"

@HumbleDude46995 Жыл бұрын

step aside CARRIER ... just another jealous black woman.

@MISSMADISONMEDIA Жыл бұрын

You’re still applying gender roles… Did you watch the video? This isn’t about men’s need to be *more* masculine 😳

@TheSamanthaEdit Жыл бұрын

@@MISSMADISONMEDIA 🙄 yes, I did watch the video, and I'm not "applying" anything, and I don't have to for what I said to be any more correct....and he actually did touch on this subject in the video, just a little. This exchange probably could've gone differently, had you not come at me sideways. Not every misunderstanding requires a jackass response.

@deedeedan8681 Жыл бұрын

@@TheSamanthaEdit ??? Girl what??? She barely even said anything, why are you being so defensive?? 😅

@byrrnitdown 7 ай бұрын

14:37 - I’ve frequently joked that I wound up non-binary on account of wanting to do a good job meeting the social expectations placed on both men and women, but it’s more true than folks might think. You pick up on at least some of the socialization for all genders growing up, so the one(s) you internalize may matter just as much as the one you were raised in.