Are "narcissists" brain damaged?

Рет қаралды 6,121

Dr Ruth Ann Harpur

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 109

@cassiebennet4262 4 ай бұрын

Truly narcissistic people cannot change. They can change their behavior, but they will not stop abusing others ever.

@WalterMudanya 4 ай бұрын

Am a narcissist I have transformed it’s difficult and complex I had to take medication to slow my brain to find empathy

@cassiebennet4262 4 ай бұрын

@@WalterMudanya Well good for you for seeking treatment. May I ask what medication you're taking and is it for diagnosed NPD?

@hearme4581 Жыл бұрын

This is a touchy and dangerous topic, as a person who was with someone with npd I held on to the hope that they would change and I searched high and low for things that say they can change and I found nothing that gave me the courage to leave. I didn’t want to even with physical abuse I wanted to stay. Just be careful with this topic their maybe people that are being abused my them watching this.

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing this. At no point have I said that anyone should stay in a relationship where they are being hurt or abused. That's a separate issue to whether someone with NPD can change. I also think it's helpful to remember that people are not the hapless victims of their brains and their NPD. It is their choice to change their behaviour (or not) - you shouldn't tolerate behaviour that is hurting you and the courageous decision to leave is often the right one if you're able to get out.

@hearme4581 Жыл бұрын

@@drruthannharpur I completely agree with you but the message you just typed was not apart of the video, I think it should be is all that I am saying. I’m thinking for perspective I was when I first realize my partner had npd. I desperately searched for videos like this to help me help him, i just think a disclaimer would be helpful.

@gordonfreeman5261 Жыл бұрын

Predatory animals and zombies - she was right. Neuroplasticity can only go so far.

@SuperBlakes2 Жыл бұрын

I really like this compassionate view. However I have found that people diagnosed with NPD, that i personally know, dont seem to self reflect. And therefore they are never wrong and their is nothing wrong with them. So chances of them seeking help is much more unlikely than other people who have trauma responses.😊

@nick-fester- 8 ай бұрын

The same as any addict, they need to admit they have a problem before the healing can start. These people are so deluded that they can't admit the problem in the first place. Catch 22.

@paolan2930 4 ай бұрын

Exactly! Can't change what you can't/won't admit to. Sad, but just stay away

@cassiebennet4262 4 ай бұрын

The only time they "seek help" is to give themselves confirmation bias that they are the victim. Which they get from people who only see them 2 hours a week.

@DhyanaIris-du1nu 8 күн бұрын

Yes, the resistance to self-reflection is almost universally present in that condition.

@loreleew2354 11 ай бұрын

I watched a TED talk where a psychiatrist took brain scans of psychopaths in prisons & had them play virtual reality games where they were a super-hero & received gratitude from people. Their brains started to develop in the areas associated with lack of empathy. I also suspect shamanic healing & spirit medicines could be helpful to both narcissists & psychopaths. Whether helpful modalities are available is not the big issue. It's whether they're willing to change and few are. I have had 2 friends who died from narcissistic abuse, one from suicide, one from 'passive' suicide (giving up). Fortunately I survived suicidal ideation and was able to get away from the abuser. It's a long road back.

@drruthannharpur 11 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry you lost your friends and for what you went through 🙏

@langyd4518 11 ай бұрын

my brother died, in the same way, from it

@langyd4518 11 ай бұрын

he was only 23

@jezza4604 6 ай бұрын

I was abused emotionallt by my father with NPD. I now carry the same mental illness - I want to change but each day seems to be getting more and more hopeless

@Vixinaful 5 ай бұрын

Hoooow did you do this? I left 47 years of abuse behind me a month ago and have a deep death wish along with depression and anxiety and my counsellor, educated within this tells me to "Fake being happy so you get friends!" .... Help. I need to know what to do to get out of this, please?

@Vixinaful 9 ай бұрын

YES they are! Damages of the amygdala, prefrontal cortrex, insula, hippocampus AND the right temporal lobe are seen on MRI's and PET's. This is why their behaviours are so bizarre and hard to understand.

@Pathway-xh2qx Ай бұрын

Hi, YES! Npd's are Soo damaged that many report "they Refuse counsel"* I just left one after 2 & 1/2 yrs. He threatened me_ ( I recorded him) I'll throw you down, I'll kill you, told me I don't know about good health, constant berating nit picking Micro manager. ( he talked on phone_ heard my now stable health testimony_ agreed *about health, Morals, commitment,) a century **Unknowledgeable parenting about plants and herbs, of traumatic parent disorders/ dads beating 2 young sons, mother too scared to get help :=(( Unhealthy manmade margarine shortening hydrogenated oils AND overload Oils in recipes IS THE PHYSICAL DAMAGE/STORMS TO ALL OF BODY AND BRAIN.

@Pathway-xh2qx Ай бұрын

@Truthseeker-x2o Ай бұрын

That is why we are learning that NPD- psychopaths cannot change. I disagree with anyone telling me that they can learn to be more empathetic, but having lived with an extremely dangerous person, I saw what they did and its appalling. If you haven't lived with one it's hard to understand. I agree with you

@bell1095 Жыл бұрын

You are brave, in defending ethics and humanity. Your assessment of empathy, cognitive capability etc of NPD are light in the darknes of the contemporary spread of hate, dehumanisation and humiliating sketches. Narcs do need help and deserve help. They are smart in their way. Therefor help requires customised models, disgnostics and therapy, at least for the „light“ disorders.

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

Not that brave imho. My views on NPD are mainstream and evidence based and the majority of my colleagues and experts in the field would broadly agree with what I’m saying here. This a mainstream view, not an anomaly.

@saintejeannedarc9460 Жыл бұрын

@@drruthannharpur So would you say that the most popular purported expert, Dr. Ramani, is not really in the majority of expert views on narcissism?

@andrewsmith3257 Жыл бұрын

@@saintejeannedarc9460Vaknin is the OG

@AnthonyManzio 5 ай бұрын

@@drruthannharpur Are all gangstalkers

@bullzeegh6610 10 ай бұрын

Ok. Please come and change my husbands brain neuropathways cuz im going to loose my mind with him, his mental abuse and gashlighting. I had so much patience but I can't anymore. And he doesn't want to be helped!!!! As I said I am on the edge of a mental breakdown due to mental abuse I go through... so yeah... this is soft... too soft for him to hear... just justification and too much understanding is for him a weakness in a human!!!!!

@emotionalarmor 2 ай бұрын

❤ hang in there😢 find peace within your soul

@scentsoftravelmeditation Ай бұрын

0:34, that answers many questions We need more published studies on narcissism I don’t know why these things aren’t taught in institutions, shown in TV, the press etc. But it’s because they enjoy being evil narcs.

@Jonhydeman Жыл бұрын

Let’s say there’s a theory that narcissists are unaffected by Oxytocin. They had a traumatic experience, potentially before they were born or as children, and they made the decision that connecting with other people on any level was no longer a need. The damage that person does to other people could explain so much of what other people suffer from- PTSD- CPTSD- dissociating- depression, ect. Not only that, but if we say this is an adaptation strategy, which may be fare to say, is then passed on. Maybe that’s why we’re seeing so much more conversation in this direction. It would be coming from this possibly overlooked chemical- Oxytocin. What would it look like if someone could bypass the human brains need for Oxytocin expression?

@jezza4604 6 ай бұрын

I was abused emotionally by my father with who is a textbook narcissist. I was the golden child. I now carry the same mental illness - I want to change but each day seems to be getting more and more hopeless. I didnt develop properly and have no sense of self. My whole life was doomed from the start.

@drruthannharpur 6 ай бұрын

@@jezza4604 you have been though a lot. I hope you can get the help you need 🙏

@Dippmip 5 ай бұрын

what do you mean with 'no sense of self' ?

@kaymuldoon3575 3 ай бұрын

@@DippmipI think it means someone doesn’t really know who they are.

@fbn2884 Жыл бұрын

Although there is indeed some dehumanization/exaggerated passages in that article, the object relations related issues and the overall dynamics with with a narcissist in an intimate relationship is very, very accurate.

@scentsoftravelmeditation Ай бұрын

2:21 Some narcs have big hippocampus In Morocco the narcissists have some mad memory, like these people memorise like 30 TB hard drive but I think the hippocampus is disconnected from the rest of the critical part of their brains because they memorise and repeat but don’t conceptualise. That’s the case with 95% of people here

@patiencesilva Жыл бұрын

You kept saying “you believe” narcissist can change. You obviously work with narcissist and their loved ones. Okay SO the question I’m still wondering; Have you seen true long lasting change??? It feels as if you “believe” it’s possible- potentially- one day, rather than know. What am I missing?

@JulieMelillo Жыл бұрын

Exactly. And the brain scans show NO activity in regions on the brain--meaning it IS broken. That is a big difference between someone with a more developed part of their brain (like cab drivers who hone certain areas). These dead areas of their brains can't regrow, which is why it's a permanent problem unless we can learn to re-grow brain nerves/blood vessels which are otherwise permanently destroyed.

@SamStone1964 Жыл бұрын

In my 60 years I've seen no improvement in the malignant narcissists I know. They've become more dangerous as they age.

@langyd4518 11 ай бұрын

it depends on the severity and the level to which their brain is entrenched in the neuro patterns of it

@dj8422 2 ай бұрын

I'm coming from a narcissistic family, my parents are covert and overt type. As I grew up, of course I've had narcissistic tendencies because a child learn behavior from their parents and family. But! And this is really important: I've had empathy so I was able to change it and even when I did something wrong, I felt guilty about it. My parents never ever had any empathy and showed no remorse. So I think it is possible to change when you have narcissistic traits however if it is a personality disorder, you can't. I've tried everything, because I really wanted to help them to see the world from a different perspective, but couldn't change them even a little bit, nothing, none...If they would be able to feel empathy, it would be different, but they only care about themselves, it might be a neurological condition, but their brain is not wired the same way as healthy people for sure.

@lacithedog5506 Жыл бұрын

Yes. There is hope for a narcissist, but they need to want to change. As you point out, this is a difficult process. We can't do that work for them. I would have stayed with my wife if she had been willing to do the work, but she still doesn't admit she has a problem. We also shouldn't have to suffer if they are not going to try to get help.

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

Absolutely … just because change may be possible does not mean anyone is obliged to stay in a relationship that is hurtful to them. Sometimes the best thing to do is to move on for your own sake.

@jamessttt44 Жыл бұрын

Agreed I’d never hang around if I knew someone was a narc

@primodernious 24 күн бұрын

some has childhood brain injury that causes cognitive decline lack of motional regulation. this can cause massive conflicts in a romantic relationship resulting in quick breakup where the brain damaged person would og from one relationship to the next ruining every single relationship they get into.

@TorgerVedeler 3 ай бұрын

Two questions: 1. Why is there so much attention paid to helping the narcissists, and so little to helping their victims? I think some restorative justice is called for. 2. What about psychopaths and extreme altruists? There is, as I understand it, solid evidence that their brains are actually different from the norm. How might understanding these examples (one bad, one good) help us?

@bellesterbeatty3571 8 ай бұрын

My narx is not human. He was born damaged, and his mom beat the crap out of him. Nothing will help him.

@dahnzmof 3 ай бұрын

No excuse to be volient towards people and variable abuse Sorry he never tock account of ability to wards me, only did for others so he couldn't he couldn't

@Susanweston-q8i 28 күн бұрын

They are 100000000% they don’t get lost with their own misery they go after others

@pdquestions7673 Жыл бұрын

Having a slightly different brain structure doesn't have to be a condemnation... it's just a condition, and like most conditions, we can find ways to work with it & even make the most of it. I'm sure that, in the end, the result is a collection of pros and cons... we make the most of the pros, and we cope and work with the cons. While it's important to understand neurological limitations, we should also consider the coping capacity / plasticity that we have around our structural neurology.

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

I agree … it also doesn’t have to represent a limitation or pathology. It’s just a difference.

@pdquestions7673 Жыл бұрын

@@drruthannharpur -- although, like anything it's a spectrum. My parents are both profound cluster B's... and I have to say their condition is so pervasive that their coping is fairly limited. In that case, we have to promote awareness... b/c as soon as I fully accepted my parents' limitations, that also relieved a lot of family stress. To some extent, when you're aware of the limitations of a cluster B, you can sort of give them room to have their moments... b/c a good portion of the problems with cluster B is mishandled unnecessary escalations... often resulting from forgetting about their limitations and reacting to their "wrong note" attitudes. So, for the overall wellbeing of everyone, we also have to improve in the strategies of being around a cluster B... ideally, it's a 2 way street... but on the bell curve there will be that extreme 25% that are going to have limited improvement... so awareness around how to be around a cluster B will be helpful there. Just an example, my dad is deep NPD.. .but his M.O. is mostly just casting haughty attitudes and making people feel inferior. If you understand his modus, then it loses its power and you just let him have his attitudes.. Once you "get over it" you realize it's just an attitude and tic.. and it means nothing... and there's 'room for peace. So the coping extends to the overall family.. and, in some sense, that could suggest a program of awareness for the public... just not to take cluster B people too seriously... since a lot of it is just attitudinal and on the level of tics.. Not to say that sums up the problem, but there's lots of aggravation that can be eliminated just through understanding, to prevent unnecessary confrontations and escalations.

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

@@pdquestions7673 yes, personality disorders can be highly disabling and limiting. I meant brain scan differences can’t really be taken to say anything about the level of impairment.

@pdquestions7673 Жыл бұрын

@@drruthannharpur -- I agree, LOL, we're still not a magical place where we can take a CAT scan image of a thought, or a pain, or a dream... it's all very indirect, and we probably still don't understand the mechanisms of neuroplasticity (for coping). I will say that having cluster B parents has taught me a lot. When I'm myself not in victim mode, my parents issues just seem like quirks... Yes, when I "poke the bear," I can arouse real monsters in them... but when I learn to "dance around the bear," it really makes a difference, and in their own way, they actually appreciate it. But cluster B's do press our buttons, and sometimes they / we are very very provocative, so it's a real dance! 🙂 My guess is that therapy around cluster B should extend to the whole family. Ideally, the general public should take lessons in being around difficult personalities 🙂

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

@@pdquestions7673 yes … I think we need much more systemic work with couples, families and systems imho. I trained in couples therapy relatively recently and it is a really different experience to working only with individuals. I think it makes for really good therapy and can be faster than individual work if it goes well. Just my impression, I don’t think there’s any data on this.

@DhyanaIris-du1nu 8 күн бұрын

The stigma of NPD exists largely due to resistance to accountability for behavior. My property in Nova Scotia is surrounded by an intergenerational clan of narcissists; one of the family members is in prison for murder. The head of that family & at least 4 others show obvious symptoms of NPD. The patriarch had many children, so there may also be others with that condition who I haven’t met. The patriarch & one son (both overt) periodically attempt dominating behaviors, so not pleasant. All this is to say, situations such as the above are responsible for narcissists’ bad rep. I’m merely a neighbor, not really connected to them, & they still can’t mind their own business.

@ŽỌỌŽṢ̌Z 15 күн бұрын

Can you cite the study that defines a cure for NPD???

@DhyanaIris-du1nu 8 күн бұрын

The gray matter in the frontal lobes of pwNPD is dysfunctional. However, brain plasticity is also a reality. My interest is in approaching the condition by directly shifting patterns in brain physiology through sensory/somatic techniques. Of course, these should be used in conjunction with cognitive therapy.

@ItsSoarTime Жыл бұрын

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU, GOD!!!!!! SOMEONE WHO'S NOT DEPRESSING THE HELL OUT OF ME with talk about how these individuals canNOT change!!!!!! i've been telling myself, just as this woman said, ANYBODY CAN CHANGE (if they want to change). THANK YOU, GOD, FOR ANOTHER SIGN THAT I AM...ON THE RIGHT PATH in remotely fasting, praying, manifesting for this person until he is strong enough, willing enough to acknowledge he needs to change. then i can support him in person ...

@mmaidofsteel 3 ай бұрын

The question was never 'can the narcissist change'. The question was 'are narcissists brain-damaged'. I've seen other (scientifically backed) presentations on narcissism that suggest there is substantial under- functioning of certain parts of the brain - what's that if it's not damaged? Furthermore as Dr Harpur even says, peoples' behaviour can cause brain changes through neuroplasticity, and if the narcissist continues to repeat the same bizarre strategies & behaviours there are developing their brains in much the same way as the London cabbies, but in a generally unhealthy and unpractical way. So in most cases isn't their own poor behaviour contributing to damaging their own brain? Everyone seems to agree that narcissistic abuse causes damage to the brain. They shame themselves and self-abuse. It can't work both ways!

@Truthseeker-x2o Ай бұрын

@@mmaidofsteel I agree!!! it's like saying that a schizophrenic can change their brain without medication. It's simply untrue. Having been a survivor of NPD it is a nightmare living with them. Trauma isn't the cause of NPD as some stated. Dr. Peter Salerno has empirical data from other experts as Robert Hare through their books.

@ŽỌỌŽṢ̌Z 15 күн бұрын

When a child is abused in early childhood while nuero pathways are being pruned and grown, I think permanent damage can be done. Dr Diane Benoit from the University of Toronto said the youngest victim of DV she saw was 6 months old. This child had brain damage just from the stress from hearing the dv between her parents. I feel that this Dr. has a Polly-Anna take on NPD, but maybe to work with these people that's helpful.

@JTSunriseMusic 9 ай бұрын

Drug cartel behavior and narcissism are the same thing

@langyd4518 11 ай бұрын

we lack the structure in our culture for these issues to be acknowledged understood and applied in families in order to combat this sort of behavior, we don’t know how to confront this, especially when confronting the person sets us up for abuse from them, it can be a simple matter of boundaries

@attractarattigan3574 8 ай бұрын

Not my experience... In 40 +yrs.

@LoveEm-r9i 3 ай бұрын

After pregnancy my daughter got worse 😮

@greylizard1040 Жыл бұрын

This is the kind of information that is really important for everyone interested in narcissism to know.

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

Thank you 🙏

@rabii0002 5 ай бұрын

That damm thing comes from the soul. The damm soul will escape letting the body burn in hell

@rupinderh01 Жыл бұрын

Great video. After a period of being on an ssri and coming off too quickly and feeling in a more depressed state after, can the brain recover and develop into a better state through neuroplasticity by being in a peaceful environment or nuturing relationships? Not wanting to go back on ssri or any meds again, natural methods are preferred.

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

Everything we do effects our brain but we can’t really see into it so I tend to think it’s best to focus on how you feel day to day. I can’t comment on anyone’s individual care or treatment on the internet but in general terms there may be lots of things you can do to improve or maintain your mental health without meds. If you do need them again, you can talk to your doctor about which would be best for you and how to come off them slowly. Some people can stop meds with little trouble and others benefit from a slow withdrawal. Hope that helps 🙏

@mwomcast Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this! I've seen this perspective shared so many times online, and it's made me incredibly afraid and doubtful of my ability to grow. You're doing something powerful here.

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

Thank you … the misinformation is why I decided to start posting on social media. It’s so damaging to people 🙏

@xmagx 6 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing this. From my heart and soul ♥️

@drruthannharpur 6 ай бұрын

@@xmagx 🙏

@weeteelim3749 Жыл бұрын

True empathy do not exist. Much as one professes. Everything is relative to the surroundings and time that they are in. A truly great person should not judge just understand