Are "narcissists" brain damaged?

DOWNLOAD AN EXERCISE TO HELP YOU BUILD SELF-COMPASSION AFTER A HURTFUL OR ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP:
www.ruthannhar...
Sara ‪@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE‬ shared a medium article recently about narcissists' brains. Here's my hot take on what differences in brain structure and function in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) mean and what it means for whether or not NPD is treatable and whether people with NPD or narcissistic traits can change.
#narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #interpersonalneurobiology #healNPD #NPD

[@SuperBlakes2]

I really like this compassionate view. However I have found that people diagnosed with NPD, that i personally know, dont seem to self reflect. And therefore they are never wrong and their is nothing wrong with them. So chances of them seeking help is much more unlikely than other people who have trauma responses.😊

[@nick-fester-]

The same as any addict, they need to admit they have a problem before the healing can start. These people are so deluded that they can't admit the problem in the first place. Catch 22.

[@paolan2930]

Exactly! Can't change what you can't/won't admit to. Sad, but just stay away

[@cassiebennet4262]

The only time they "seek help" is to give themselves confirmation bias that they are the victim. Which they get from people who only see them 2 hours a week.

[@hearme4581]

This is a touchy and dangerous topic, as a person who was with someone with npd I held on to the hope that they would change and I searched high and low for things that say they can change and I found nothing that gave me the courage to leave. I didn’t want to even with physical abuse I wanted to stay. Just be careful with this topic their maybe people that are being abused my them watching this.

[@drruthannharpur]

Thank you for sharing this. At no point have I said that anyone should stay in a relationship where they are being hurt or abused. That's a separate issue to whether someone with NPD can change. I also think it's helpful to remember that people are not the hapless victims of their brains and their NPD. It is their choice to change their behaviour (or not) - you shouldn't tolerate behaviour that is hurting you and the courageous decision to leave is often the right one if you're able to get out.

[@hearme4581]

@@drruthannharpur I completely agree with you but the message you just typed was not apart of the video, I think it should be is all that I am saying. I’m thinking for perspective I was when I first realize my partner had npd. I desperately searched for videos like this to help me help him, i just think a disclaimer would be helpful.

[@gordonfreeman5261]

Predatory animals and zombies - she was right. Neuroplasticity can only go so far.

[@cassiebennet4262]

Truly narcissistic people cannot change. They can change their behavior, but they will not stop abusing others ever.

[@WalterMudanya]

Am a narcissist I have transformed it’s difficult and complex I had to take medication to slow my brain to find empathy

[@cassiebennet4262]

@@WalterMudanya Well good for you for seeking treatment. May I ask what medication you're taking and is it for diagnosed NPD?

[@patiencesilva]

You kept saying “you believe” narcissist can change. You obviously work with narcissist and their loved ones. Okay SO the question I’m still wondering; Have you seen true long lasting change??? It feels as if you “believe” it’s possible- potentially- one day, rather than know. What am I missing?

[@JulieMelillo]

Exactly. And the brain scans show NO activity in regions on the brain--meaning it IS broken. That is a big difference between someone with a more developed part of their brain (like cab drivers who hone certain areas). These dead areas of their brains can't regrow, which is why it's a permanent problem unless we can learn to re-grow brain nerves/blood vessels which are otherwise permanently destroyed.

[@SamStone1964]

In my 60 years I've seen no improvement in the malignant narcissists I know. They've become more dangerous as they age.

[@langyd4518]

it depends on the severity and the level to which their brain is entrenched in the neuro patterns of it

[@bell1095]

You are brave, in defending ethics and humanity. Your assessment of empathy, cognitive capability etc of NPD are light in the darknes of the contemporary spread of hate, dehumanisation and humiliating sketches. Narcs do need help and deserve help. They are smart in their way. Therefor help requires customised models, disgnostics and therapy, at least for the „light“ disorders.

[@drruthannharpur]

Not that brave imho. My views on NPD are mainstream and evidence based and the majority of my colleagues and experts in the field would broadly agree with what I’m saying here. This a mainstream view, not an anomaly.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

@@drruthannharpur So would you say that the most popular purported expert, Dr. Ramani, is not really in the majority of expert views on narcissism?

[@andrewsmith3257]

​@@saintejeannedarc9460Vaknin is the OG

[@AnthonyManzio]

@@drruthannharpur Are all gangstalkers

[@bullzeegh6610]

Ok. Please come and change my husbands brain neuropathways cuz im going to loose my mind with him, his mental abuse and gashlighting. I had so much patience but I can't anymore. And he doesn't want to be helped!!!! As I said I am on the edge of a mental breakdown due to mental abuse I go through... so yeah... this is soft... too soft for him to hear... just justification and too much understanding is for him a weakness in a human!!!!!

[@Vixinaful]

YES they are! Damages of the amygdala, prefrontal cortrex, insula, hippocampus AND the right temporal lobe are seen on MRI's and PET's. This is why their behaviours are so bizarre and hard to understand.

[@fbn2884]

Although there is indeed some dehumanization/exaggerated passages in that article, the object relations related issues and the overall dynamics with with a narcissist in an intimate relationship is very, very accurate.

[@TorgerVedeler]

Two questions: 1. Why is there so much attention paid to helping the narcissists, and so little to helping their victims? I think some restorative justice is called for. 2. What about psychopaths and extreme altruists? There is, as I understand it, solid evidence that their brains are actually different from the norm. How might understanding these examples (one bad, one good) help us?

[@dahnzmof]

No excuse to be volient towards people and variable abuse Sorry he never tock account of ability to wards me, only did for others so he couldn't he couldn't

[@JTSunriseMusic]

Drug cartel behavior and narcissism are the same thing

[@loreleew2354]

I watched a TED talk where a psychiatrist took brain scans of psychopaths in prisons & had them play virtual reality games where they were a super-hero & received gratitude from people. Their brains started to develop in the areas associated with lack of empathy. I also suspect shamanic healing & spirit medicines could be helpful to both narcissists & psychopaths. Whether helpful modalities are available is not the big issue. It's whether they're willing to change and few are. I have had 2 friends who died from narcissistic abuse, one from suicide, one from 'passive' suicide (giving up). Fortunately I survived suicidal ideation and was able to get away from the abuser. It's a long road back.

[@drruthannharpur]

I'm so sorry you lost your friends and for what you went through 🙏

[@langyd4518]

my brother died, in the same way, from it

[@langyd4518]

he was only 23

[@jezza4604]

I was abused emotionallt by my father with NPD. I now carry the same mental illness - I want to change but each day seems to be getting more and more hopeless

[@Vixinaful]

Hoooow did you do this? I left 47 years of abuse behind me a month ago and have a deep death wish along with depression and anxiety and my counsellor, educated within this tells me to "Fake being happy so you get friends!" .... Help. I need to know what to do to get out of this, please?

[@Jonhydeman]

Let’s say there’s a theory that narcissists are unaffected by Oxytocin. They had a traumatic experience, potentially before they were born or as children, and they made the decision that connecting with other people on any level was no longer a need. The damage that person does to other people could explain so much of what other people suffer from- PTSD- CPTSD- dissociating- depression, ect. Not only that, but if we say this is an adaptation strategy, which may be fare to say, is then passed on. Maybe that’s why we’re seeing so much more conversation in this direction. It would be coming from this possibly overlooked chemical- Oxytocin. What would it look like if someone could bypass the human brains need for Oxytocin expression?

[@attractarattigan3574]

Not my experience... In 40 +yrs.

[@TheEmmochka]

After pregnancy my daughter got worse 😮

[@username-p2p]

That damm thing comes from the soul. The damm soul will escape letting the body burn in hell

[@kenjones102]

Uh, I would listen to Sam Vaknin first. He is not so optimistic about recovery.

[@pdquestions7673]

Having a slightly different brain structure doesn't have to be a condemnation... it's just a condition, and like most conditions, we can find ways to work with it & even make the most of it. I'm sure that, in the end, the result is a collection of pros and cons... we make the most of the pros, and we cope and work with the cons. While it's important to understand neurological limitations, we should also consider the coping capacity / plasticity that we have around our structural neurology.

[@drruthannharpur]

I agree … it also doesn’t have to represent a limitation or pathology. It’s just a difference.

[@pdquestions7673]

@@drruthannharpur -- although, like anything it's a spectrum. My parents are both profound cluster B's... and I have to say their condition is so pervasive that their coping is fairly limited. In that case, we have to promote awareness... b/c as soon as I fully accepted my parents' limitations, that also relieved a lot of family stress. To some extent, when you're aware of the limitations of a cluster B, you can sort of give them room to have their moments... b/c a good portion of the problems with cluster B is mishandled unnecessary escalations... often resulting from forgetting about their limitations and reacting to their "wrong note" attitudes. So, for the overall wellbeing of everyone, we also have to improve in the strategies of being around a cluster B... ideally, it's a 2 way street... but on the bell curve there will be that extreme 25% that are going to have limited improvement... so awareness around how to be around a cluster B will be helpful there. Just an example, my dad is deep NPD.. .but his M.O. is mostly just casting haughty attitudes and making people feel inferior. If you understand his modus, then it loses its power and you just let him have his attitudes.. Once you "get over it" you realize it's just an attitude and tic.. and it means nothing... and there's 'room for peace. So the coping extends to the overall family.. and, in some sense, that could suggest a program of awareness for the public... just not to take cluster B people too seriously... since a lot of it is just attitudinal and on the level of tics.. Not to say that sums up the problem, but there's lots of aggravation that can be eliminated just through understanding, to prevent unnecessary confrontations and escalations.

[@drruthannharpur]

@@pdquestions7673 yes, personality disorders can be highly disabling and limiting. I meant brain scan differences can’t really be taken to say anything about the level of impairment.

[@pdquestions7673]

@@drruthannharpur -- I agree, LOL, we're still not a magical place where we can take a CAT scan image of a thought, or a pain, or a dream... it's all very indirect, and we probably still don't understand the mechanisms of neuroplasticity (for coping). I will say that having cluster B parents has taught me a lot. When I'm myself not in victim mode, my parents issues just seem like quirks... Yes, when I "poke the bear," I can arouse real monsters in them... but when I learn to "dance around the bear," it really makes a difference, and in their own way, they actually appreciate it. But cluster B's do press our buttons, and sometimes they / we are very very provocative, so it's a real dance! 🙂 My guess is that therapy around cluster B should extend to the whole family. Ideally, the general public should take lessons in being around difficult personalities 🙂

[@drruthannharpur]

@@pdquestions7673 yes … I think we need much more systemic work with couples, families and systems imho. I trained in couples therapy relatively recently and it is a really different experience to working only with individuals. I think it makes for really good therapy and can be faster than individual work if it goes well. Just my impression, I don’t think there’s any data on this.

[@TheEmmochka]

I have only one daughter, I love her very much 😢😢😢😢She went to gifted school, she is good looking, but ..she is has that illness 😢😢😢

[@drruthannharpur]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this and I hope you're able to find a way through as a family.

[@lacithedog5506]

Yes. There is hope for a narcissist, but they need to want to change. As you point out, this is a difficult process. We can't do that work for them. I would have stayed with my wife if she had been willing to do the work, but she still doesn't admit she has a problem. We also shouldn't have to suffer if they are not going to try to get help.

[@drruthannharpur]

Absolutely … just because change may be possible does not mean anyone is obliged to stay in a relationship that is hurtful to them. Sometimes the best thing to do is to move on for your own sake.

[@jamessttt44]

Agreed I’d never hang around if I knew someone was a narc

[@langyd4518]

we lack the structure in our culture for these issues to be acknowledged understood and applied in families in order to combat this sort of behavior, we don’t know how to confront this, especially when confronting the person sets us up for abuse from them, it can be a simple matter of boundaries

[@ItsSoarTime]

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU, GOD!!!!!! SOMEONE WHO'S NOT DEPRESSING THE HELL OUT OF ME with talk about how these individuals canNOT change!!!!!! i've been telling myself, just as this woman said, ANYBODY CAN CHANGE (if they want to change). THANK YOU, GOD, FOR ANOTHER SIGN THAT I AM...ON THE RIGHT PATH in remotely fasting, praying, manifesting for this person until he is strong enough, willing enough to acknowledge he needs to change. then i can support him in person ...

[@bellesterbeatty3571]

My narx is not human. He was born damaged, and his mom beat the crap out of him. Nothing will help him.

[@weeteelim3749]

True empathy do not exist. Much as one professes. Everything is relative to the surroundings and time that they are in. A truly great person should not judge just understand

[@jezza4604]

I was abused emotionally by my father with who is a textbook narcissist. I was the golden child. I now carry the same mental illness - I want to change but each day seems to be getting more and more hopeless. I didnt develop properly and have no sense of self. My whole life was doomed from the start.

[@drruthannharpur]

@@jezza4604 you have been though a lot. I hope you can get the help you need 🙏

[@Dippmip]

what do you mean with 'no sense of self' ?

[@kaymuldoon3575]

@@DippmipI think it means someone doesn’t really know who they are.

[@greylizard1040]

This is the kind of information that is really important for everyone interested in narcissism to know.

[@drruthannharpur]

Thank you 🙏

[@Sarah_millionaire_2024]

Thank you I wish I can get a session with you

[@drruthannharpur]

@@Sarah_millionaire_2024 you're welcome to get in touch www.ruthannharpur.co.uk/contact

[@mwomcast]

Thank you so much for this! I've seen this perspective shared so many times online, and it's made me incredibly afraid and doubtful of my ability to grow. You're doing something powerful here.

[@drruthannharpur]

Thank you … the misinformation is why I decided to start posting on social media. It’s so damaging to people 🙏

[@rupinderh01]

Great video. After a period of being on an ssri and coming off too quickly and feeling in a more depressed state after, can the brain recover and develop into a better state through neuroplasticity by being in a peaceful environment or nuturing relationships? Not wanting to go back on ssri or any meds again, natural methods are preferred.

[@drruthannharpur]

Everything we do effects our brain but we can’t really see into it so I tend to think it’s best to focus on how you feel day to day. I can’t comment on anyone’s individual care or treatment on the internet but in general terms there may be lots of things you can do to improve or maintain your mental health without meds. If you do need them again, you can talk to your doctor about which would be best for you and how to come off them slowly. Some people can stop meds with little trouble and others benefit from a slow withdrawal. Hope that helps 🙏

[@wiwidity]

Great work

[@xmagx]

Thank you for sharing this. From my heart and soul ♥️

[@drruthannharpur]

@@xmagx 🙏