Are There Stages of Enlightenment? (Shinzen Young)

[@lucasblanc1295]

I get it lingustically/logically, but I've realized that from now on I need to do practices or create my own kinds to rewire many parts of myself that are not aligned with the truth of my nature, in other words, I couldn't fucking handle being tortured for the next 80 years inside of a torture matrix. I still even struggle with keeping enough attention to recognize my past karma/habits/goals and all the mental fabrications I underwent throughout my life so far, and realign those fabrications with new ones. Like how the buddha said: "I was looking for the house builder for lifetimes, and I found it by deconstructing the house that I'm currently in". Self-inquiry and some basic sitting/walking meditation did it for me, but I've been doing it for almost a decade now. Perhaps I'm past the point that if I underwent extreme pain and suffering I'd have no choice other than to use my present knowledge to bring myself fully into liberation. Currently, I keep distracting myself with pleasures whenever I face pain and discomfort that's beyond what I can handle. But perhaps a torture matrix, it would either break me or enlighten me. But it would definetly fuck up with my human self, I mean, they could literally deprive me from everything, eventually my neural networks would unlearn all of my life slowly, if I came out of it I'd probably not even be able to speak anymore, forget objects, places, forget about most of my auto-biographical self -- remaing just as a faint memory of who or what I was before -- turning into this being that only experiences physical pain, etc.

[@mats.youtube3013]

Wow!