"Are we exclusive?" - Dating Differences USA vs. GERMANY | Feli from Germany

[@FelifromGermany]

EDIT: Check out my video on Sex Education here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/m4XRo2ynbJWSoNk Sorry that it took so long for me to upload a new video! I've noticed that my English skills are fading away a little, I haven't spoken English in over 3 months 😱 I hope it isn't too exhausting to listen to me and you guys still enjoy the video :)

[@scidav87]

German Girl in America your English is clear and easy to understand

[@thomassenbart]

Topics that may be of interest to you and your audience: Nudist culture and the sauna, naturism in D-land East v. West Germany, differences, why or are there differences and what do you think? Has the country truly united? Future of Germany as the greatest nation in Europe. Why did it happen, what are the peculiar characteristics that propelled D-land forward after losing two world wars? End of Christianity in Germany? What are the moral, civilizational consequences and why did it happen? Is it irreversible? Islam in Germany and the immigration debate. Criminality, culture, need for workers (Gastarbeiters). Refugees, does D-land have a special role to play and if so why? What about the AFD and the German counter immigration debate? Living together v. marriage Why are so many German girls into black dudes? Should the Americans leave Germany and end the occupation officially? All the US military bases I mean. Is Germany becoming a neo pagan nation, worship of the trees? The greens and ecology seem to be almost religious movements in Germany. What do you think, have the Germans gone too far?

[@Jaradis]

You speak English better than a lot of Americans. Your accent really isn't that noticeable either. I honestly would have had a hard time guessing you are German simply from your accent if you hadn't had it listed on your channel. Living in Cincinnati myself, I doubt I would have even noticed your accent, at least not in an initial conversation.

[@shutupbill1199]

Welcome back Feli! Truly sorry about Germany at WC :( Excellent job on this video! Your take on dating in America is interesting. It's good to have another viewpoint. I was never good at dating, because I'm not good at playing games. I think it's too much drama! Fortunately I'm married now lol! ;) Your take on sex ed in America is 100% spot on! Yanks are incredibly immature when it comes to sex. IMO it's a result of our Puritan heritage, a part of our culture we will never outgrow. (You've heard the story of the Pilgrims and Thanksgiving? They were Puritans). There were many good things about the Puritans, such as the work ethic and self-reliance; but also some bad, such as Sex = Bad. I think we scandalize sex more than demonize it, which explains why sex ed is so poor and we flip out over nudity on TV, but can't get enough of The Bachelor/Bachelorette and The Kardashians! If you want to understand America better, I encourage you to study the Puritans. IMO it explains much about the things we do well and the things we don't. That is, when you have free time at grad school lol! Good luck in your studies and thanks for the great videos! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puritans

[@thyslop1737]

German Girl in America Felicia if you are presenting yourself out in public like the way you are on this video with that smile, demeanor and appearance I can assure you that if they are complimenting YOU they mean it. But, as you know, somstimes relationships can be difficult. There are probably a lot of guys intimidated by you. That being said, you must get tons of attention.

[@damonw2286]

I was a military brat and spent 8 years in Germany my whole teenage years to be exact. When I left Ramstein at the age of 19 and went to the states I was a foreigner in my own country and could not get a girlfriend at all. I didn't know the "games" or the "rules" of dating an American girl...ended up marrying a German in the end. :)

[@adalwolfhelthon749]

Where did you find a German girl?

[@Vagabond_Etranger]

@@adalwolfhelthon749 Go to Hawaii, lots of germans in Waikiki. Or go to Deutschland.

[@iceguy9723]

I'm 57, single again and still don't understanding of rules of dating.

[@perroculero7852]

Im getting stationed there in a year

[@damonw2286]

@@adalwolfhelthon749 In Germany: after I joined the military I got stationed back there.

[@renatoherren4217]

Dating in Germany: Day, month, year. Dating in the US: Month, day, year. 😉😉

[@jotorial5695]

soooo good :D

[@waluigi3515]

More like dating in America: Rocket science Dating in Germany: Middle school science class.

[@waluigi3515]

@@secretPENGUIN69 yes. Totally. Absolutely.

[@secretPENGUIN69]

@@waluigi3515 No I could believe that. I don’t think u understood the joke German date today 22/10/20 , US date today 10/22/20

[@waluigi3515]

@@secretPENGUIN69 yea, you got me. This goes to show you that I'm an american. I completely missed the joke about actually dates, I interpreted it as a metaphor... Oops 😅

[@commosection]

Very interesting video. I was a soldier stationed in Germany for 2 years many years ago. I was stationed at a small US Army base near a tourist town of Wertheim am Main. In my experiences the Germans girls for the most part were turned off by the aggressiveness of young American soldiers. Even though Germans in general are taught English in school just like anybody else if you don't have the chance to practice the language you won't grow. Most American soldiers don't make the effort to learn German when they are there but i decided to take German 1@2 college courses offered at the base and i did much better then predicted. I guess in life if you really want to learn something you can.Most German girls i became friends with admired me for making the effort to learn German and try to adapt.Back then i did notice trying to break the ice as we say with girls doesn't happen over night as it does in the states. For example my future girlfriend back then i asked her to dance and she ignored me so i never tried again but about a few weeks later out of the blue she grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor and we dated ever since until i left Germany a year afterwards. It was funny to me how very open the German girls i met were especially my GF back then.They say how they feel about you and i guess since i didn't have a car there she made most of the plans when we went out and took me places since i didn't know anything outside of the town i was stationed at.I made 3 good friendships while there with 2 girls and 1 guy and for years after i left Germany and left the Army we wrote each other even after my old GF got married. But faded over time. In the US you don't find commitments like that.Who knows maybe my situation was unique. But i do miss those times in Germany and the relationships i had. Sorry if i bored anyone i just wanted to share my experiences with German relationships. Seems similar to what i heard on the video even though my experience was years ago.

[@flipn7049]

Your advice: learn Deutsch in order to hook up with chicks

[@indianbeaver7536]

We are nothing but a bundle of memories, thoughts and emotions. Thanks for sharing, very nostalgic.

[@Maxtherealone]

Nice story! Greetings from germany.

[@Maxtherealone]

@@spacewalker4866 whats wrong with you?

@Henning Malland nowhere in Germany you will have problems because of your skin color. you only have problems if you dont act like a human being like too many muslim and african immigrants. also you sound like an ignorant fuck like too many germans talking about america. The "we are better" drips from every of your sentences. THAT is why Germans are disliked in the world. thanks to leftist fuckheads like you

[@vivienleigh4640]

I'm Swedish but I lived in Germany for some time, in Köln. I met a German man, fell in love. I big difference I noticed was how polite he was to my mother. Of course, even in Sweden, you're supposed to act civil around your girlfriend's parents but it was so obvious that Germans are taught to show respect for older people.

[@jjrd3944]

Oh that was nice to know that they are so respectful🙏🙏🙏

[@klauskinski5969]

in all honesty. there is a difference. north german or south german aka prussian league or bavarian/austrian league? germany is far more complicated then ppl expect. its a coll. of clans with a lof differeneces. prussian captured north germany and created a league of german states and created the kingdom of germany and thus influcened the perspective of foreignerrs.

[@trentpettit6336]

Can you give some real-life examples of the differences between the German and Swedish attitudes on this topic?

[@patrickgannon8190]

I well agree with you, respect goes a long long way ❤

[@KRAFTWERK2K6]

or maybe your previous guys were just really rude xD

[@koruki]

In a way dating in America vs Germany it’s like imperial vs metric system lol. Making things more complicated than it needs to be

[@damonw2286]

haha well played Koruki!

[@LeonPessanha]

That's what I call precision! Great analogy!

[@davidryle1164]

@koruki you know America is the last country to still routinely use Imperial, right???

[@philipmcniel4908]

@@davidryle1164 There's also Liberia and Myanmar...

[@davidryle1164]

@Philip McNeil Liberia and Myanmar, really, like I said.

[@malbanakwaly2765]

Ich dachte man betrinkt sich und ist auf einmal zusammen

[@flost8202]

So is es irgendwie bei mir immer🤔 M18

[@danielspaethjr.1235]

That happens a lot in America, but if you sleep together the first time you meet someone, it's assumed it's not going to be a serious relationship. Does that happen a lot in Germany?

[@flost8202]

@@danielspaethjr.1235 From my previous experience in relationships I would say kind of to me it might happen every time but for someone else they might have sex after some months.

[@undefinedgirl8974]

@@ANT96-x8dNo, definitely not. It actually is a huge topic in school.

[@XxWhiteTigerKittenxX]

@@ANT96-x8d it's taught in EVERY school in the whole country. in some schools it is even taught in several grades like 5th grade, then again in 7th grade, in 8th grade and every grade up til 13th grade. It actually gets a little annoying after a while, but they don't want the young ones to forget what they did to the whole world. *cough*

[@einhornregenbogenglitzer8284]

Das erklärt endlich mal die Szenen in amerikanischen Liebesfilmen, die ich immer so seltsam fand: Ein Paar lernt sich kennen, geht aus, flirtet, landet im Bett und nach der Nacht sagt einer der beiden: "Ich glaube, ich habe mich in dich verliebt." Und das Gegenüber ist total geschockt und der andere entschuldigt sich. 🤣

[@RoseThePhoenix]

German dating sounds like how I have always wanted to date, and I've never been to Germany.

[@motherstar1]

me too, on both

[@insertclevernamehere2506]

Actually in that case you'll be happy happy dating almost anywhere else in the western culture than America. American culture makes the whole process super-complicated in my experience and most other western cultures around the world are far more German (European) in their dating perspectives (to a greater or lesser degree).

[@Lisared023]

Me,too!

[@harrycojones4273]

No

[@adamfritz84]

Agreed, but I've been to Germany

[@quietcorner293]

I'm an American guy and I met my (German) wife while TDY to Germany. I'm a pretty reserved guy to move in and grind with a girl in a club. We met outside of a club where I used the little German that I knew. Someone that I was with ask her a question and then I started talking to her. I introduced myself and I believe I shook her hand. She later told me that she liked that. It seemed gentleman like to her and she liked that I respected her. Later we were inside and I was with my friends and she was with hers. I waited till we got inside and when I made eye contact with her, I went up and said hi to her. By the way she responded, I felt that I had a shot. Oh say to the girl, "du hast schöne Augen." She will like that! I mean say it if you mean it. Oh, after going back. In the following years, I traveled over here to see her. I finally moved over here in 2004. I have a job working on a US base which gives me the ability to stay. We lived together for 5 years before getting married. Now we have two beautiful little girls.

[@LGAussie]

Quiet Corner That’s so sweet! U r a great guy! She’s lucky to have you. Many German men r sneaky and cheaters. This host is not experienced enough.

[@petrameyer1121]

All the best to you and your family.

[@cyn865]

wonderful story !!

[@petrameyer1121]

@john accettola The chainsaw! ;)

[@agaliareptum9659]

@john accettola Is that some kind of argument for guns? like... respect via a weapon? doesn't sound very civilized at all...

[@MatthewBaran]

America dating: I would like to play a game with you, if you survive, we will date. -Jigsaw

[@texastulips2620]

Matthew Baran ; truth!!!!! 😏

[@alexanderbryant7666]

Jigsaw- raise this baby KingBach- that's not a game, that's life, nooooooo

[@Dragon-Believer]

The men are not honest with the women because they are afraid to. A lot of women will end it if you tell them anything they didn't want to hear. They are not even upset when they later find out that you weren't honest. They seem relieved that you kept up the fantasy that you were perfect as long as possible. These women want a dating experience, not a real relationship. There is nothing that turns off a typical American girl more than honesty. I think they find it insulting that you didn't even feel the need to lie to them. They think they are a perfect princess that deserves a perfect man. At least you should pretend to be perfect. I think not all women are this way, but just that a lot of the ones who aren't in relationships are this way. This is why they aren't in a relationship because they have ridiculous expectations. It gets worse as you get older.

[@whiteknight5100]

American dating sucks and I live in America

[@jefferywilliams9592]

@@Dragon-Believer Oh so very true.

[@miguelsedamano7822]

The most I hear about Germany, the most I would like to visit or live in Germany. Maturity, openness, transparency are the rule in the cultural life in Germany. What a beautiful country! 🇩🇪

[@B3lph3g0r]

you wouldn't want to meet most german people

[@naomizaragoza9164]

@@B3lph3g0r why did you say that

[@klairnugget5022]

@@naomizaragoza9164 Don't mind that person. Just another self-hating German.

[@newasblue1981]

Did you say openness??? Sorry, but most Germans I know would laugh at that.

[@kurtslavain]

​@@B3lph3g0rGermans can't scare me. I've met Americans.

[@BlackPatriot1776]

I’ve ALWAYS hated games. Being an American guy and being more expressive about my thoughts and feelings, if someone starts screwing around I just let them go. Not worth wasting my time on in my opinion.

[@motherstar1]

damn right

[@Eli-pm1pi]

Agree with you, but you will find women and men playing games in Germany too. In the end it really just comes down to maturity and commitment....and how tired you are of this bullshit and just want to have someone chill to have a loving relationship with. xD

[@sucram1015]

@@Eli-pm1pi Well then, I won't last long then. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Like cut the bullshit out, and express how you feel.

[@the-engneer]

Sadly I've had to learn this the hard way. American women are much too entitled to themselves

[@yodussb6812]

Yes I completely agree with you I just hate wasting my time on people like that it gets on my nerves so hard.

[@jairynbullinger]

I don’t know how she managed to talk about differences while sounding so unbiased😂. It’s a skill few have👏🏻👏🏻

[@ahmadsahweri9286]

Jairyn Bullinger u

[@cahinton.]

She literally said everything is better in Germany in her opinion.

[@kristoffersparegodt420]

Dangerous Person. 😂 Maybe it is

[@caklavl]

@@cahinton. how I felt...super bias!!!

[@grantcivyt]

Yes, it was a biased opinion, but what else can you expect? She spent a year in Ohio and 20+ in Germany. Of course "German dating" makes more sense to her. She knows all the unwritten rules and they seem natural to her.

[@chrismckenna8379]

I grew up in Ireland. In the U.S. there is a belief you should tell people what they want to hear. In Ireland you tell them how it is while still being respectful.

[@orleenyamac1469]

That sounds beautiful 💯❤️

[@tonywalton1052]

I completely disagree. and that is the way it is

[@RichardDCook]

I think here in the US many people (especially young people) avoid social friction by trying to figure out where the other person is coming from, going along with whatever the other person says, and avoiding any topic or opinion that might rock the boat.

[@happygolucky9004]

"in the U.S there is a belief you should tell people what they want to hear" sounds like you pulled that out of your a**. There is so such a belief the the U.S, especially in New York. It's really rich that the rest of the world likes to assume all these stereotypes about the US while forgetting that we are a huge country. The US is about the same size as all of Europe! God forbid I say an Irish person is the same as a Scottish person. We are basically 50 countries with unique histories, dialects, and values. We have some overarching similarities, but you'd be hard pressed to say we all value the same thing.

[@chrismckenna8379]

@@happygolucky9004 I can tell you don't travel much.

[@FiveOClockTea]

I'm German. I like it when a guy wants to pay on the first date. I'll say we should split and when he insists and I had a good time I'd be like "Ok, then I'll pay the next time". It evens out and we can plan the next date 😅

[@FiveOClockTea]

@@user-vn5ff1my6k you can't really do that in Germany though, as you normally pay at the table. But yeah, everyone likes to be treated every now and then, be it man or woman. 😊 doesn't just have to be restaurants little things like "I saw this and thought of you/thought you might like this" Really brighten my day 😊 it might be really stereotypical, but I love baking and when I have a boyfriend I tend to try out new stuff and give it to him (when I think it turned out well).

[@anonymuspumpkin6709]

German here,i agree, its sweet. But what i hate is when the guy insists on paying for everything, always. i was with a guy who would not let me pay, ever. we had a huge fight after i insisted on paying movie tickets. It makes me feel like i am being bought, or that he will think i owe him later. we are equals in the relationship, so we can be equally involved in paying

[@FiveOClockTea]

@@anonymuspumpkin6709 that's true. For me it's more of an appreciation thing, like you invite me and later I invite you. Luckily it's never happened to me that a guy wouldn't let me pay, but I'm pretty sure that would've also led to a fight with me 😅

[@FiveOClockTea]

@@g.i.r.l. what? I like it when someone pays and I also like to pay for someone. It's like exchanging little gifts in the form of coffee and food 🤷‍♀️

[@brotchenkorner3944]

I am a german guy and would have no problem to pay the check on a first date- I even like to do it. But if a girl really expects me to pay I honestly find that to be outdated and pretty sexist. Luckily im already engaged anyways xD

[@ryanweible9090]

"after the first date, people start playing games with each other." To be fair, she had a really good raid specced shaman horde-side. and we needed a good healer.

[@spacebibba8984]

Relatable.

[@chalphon4907]

@Van Bun I they can't help you out in rated battlegrounds then why bother...

[@aronschneider1761]

She had WHAT?? 😨 I badly need an explanation for this saying, that got 365 likes!

[@EnbyFranziskaNagel]

@@aronschneider1761 After the first date the girl started playing role playing games with him and his friends. She played a character that fit well into their party. They needed a healer and now they have one. The commenter deliberately misunderstood "Playing games" for a joke. Playing games can mean both "manipulative behavior" and "playing video games/board games". I think it is a reference to World of Warcraft. Could be a different game though.

[@retro5533]

American here wishing dating here was more like it was in Germany

[@ternock]

Same

[@tassbartl1740]

German girls are superficial and spoiled, especially in the south (Munich) :). It's more likely to find a girlfriend in the US, they're are much more open minded and approachable. The best girls in Europe are in eastern Europe (Poland, Hungary, etc.).

[@GamingT0G0]

@@tassbartl1740 Agree. German guy here and most of the german women are completely spoiled.

[@ryleesnaps3155]

Retro for real 😂 I agree

[@tassbartl1740]

@@GamingT0G0 Ja leider, bin viel rumgekommen in der Welt und es ist tatsächlich so. Die sollten sich in der Hinsicht ein Beispiel an z.B. Osteuropäerinnen oder Amis nehmen, das wär so schön. Hier ist man wirklich am verzweifeln als Mann, hoffentlich kann man bald wieder reisen :)

[@FinnaElska]

The part about games is true. It freaking sucks if you are a straight forward and honest person.

[@agnes15101968]

I would have been unable to work with a "typical" American guy :)

[@tans3015]

Straight forward doesn't mean brutal honesty designed to be off-putting.

[@elijahbradford8254]

I’m born in raised in California but I feel more like a German guy after hearing this 😂

[@tinkerbell5230]

Eli Bradford sane here on both parts

[@ghostcarrillo]

Californian here, I also feel German after this video

[@AnaisAzuli]

Hallo Herr Bradford🤪

[@Moniisza]

100% agree I am German and when I lived in the U.S. I did enjoy the dating phase lol Getting picked up and taken on a bunch of dates, getting payed for everything, all the compliments 🙈 I did end up with a german guy tho.. I rather have someone that communicates honestly and straight up than someone that always says what they think I want to hear.

[@jennifermoira5053]

Can we be friends

[@richardpetek712]

Honesty wins.

[@jimmyb4982]

Yep. The exaggerated optimism and praise displayed by many Americans makes it difficult for me to trust them.

[@jimmyb4982]

@c1rcu1tn3rd You sound like my kind of person. No BS.

[@accesspoint6917]

Yeah, first a little bit of gold digging then comes the settling

[@haunted_lunchbox]

As an American I hate the games. I'm married now (30) & I couldn't deal with the way dating is now. I never believed in the 3 day rule or that the man should always pay etc... My husband and I were best friends & eventually got together, married, & now have a son. 😃

[@krollpeter]

That's the best way. You know what you get and had time to think about him. All the best from Singapore!

[@sunnymas2656]

In Germany, they expect a message or a phone call latest next day after dating. If not, it looks like they don´t want it anymore. If the person want split paying at a date, it looks like the person don´t want to meet you any more. A "rule" in germany: The Man pays all at first date. The woman pays all at second date. I also want to be best friend to the woman. But then, you are a friend only. You cannot get more. = you are in the "friendzone" trap. So I must decide: To be her man, or her friend only. I cannot get both. I had the chance to marry a woman in germany, three times. But they doesn´t matter, which man. Just only, not to live alone - having children - have Someone, who must pay all. Love is not necessary for that. 50 % of all (married) couples in germany - not because of love. But I don´t want to miss love, in a relationship. No matter, if love has become "old school." -

[@ratj4715]

I think most guys just don’t want to look desperate or to pushy.

[@sunnymas2656]

@Mark W The tradition for paying for the woman, has it´s reason, that women had mostly less money earnings, than men. Now the situation has become better, for the women in some businesses. So they are independent from men´s money. And if the woman want to show this, by paying for both at Datings - let her do. I had a Date, and the woman finally wanted to pay for herself. (Because she don`t want to meet me any more.) But I paid for both, to show her, that I am really interested about her. Nice try - but no success. Next time, I would she let pay herself. But I would ask her, if she don´t want to see me any more ? So I know, whats happend.

[@wareagle9655]

I always hated the games the girls played, I never understood the game. So really I waited till after school to even try really- worth the wait.

[@nbenefiel]

When I first met my husband we saw each other for every day of the next 3 months (including Christmas). I guess we didn't read the rules. I do not envy you young people.

[@Khorne_of_the_Hill]

You really, really shouldn't lol Maybe it's always been this way, but dating these days is an endless nightmare-scape of bewilderment and suffering

[@jefferywilliams9592]

I am divorced now but was married 25 years and yeah from day 1 we were glued to each other every single day.

[@willsofer3679]

It's only an issue for those who adhere to these weird strictures/rules that have cropped up in the last decade or so. I give women a quizzical look when they say something like "people say we..."

[@duderanch18237]

It always make me feel a little better to read comments like yours and Wyatt's. A little therapy session I guess. I'm 33 now and in a long term relationship with someone I'm going to marry. But the games, the cheating, the selfishness... having a kind/giving/sharing relationship in Canada and the US is the exception and not the rule. Everyone I dated before cheated on me. Nightmare-scape of suffering and bewilderment is right. One woman I dated treated me like I was God's gift to women... hung out and talked all the time, inseparable. Then one week, slowly started ghosting me, picked a fight, and dumped me the next day. I was so confused and heart broken.

[@willsofer3679]

@I say shotgun, you say wedding Care to name a source?

[@shefaliohara3103]

I am currently dating a German (from Munich, he came to America in his 30s) and I appreciate the honesty and how "real" the relationship is, but it's true, he's not so big into romantic gestures and compliments. But that's OK, it is the easiest relationship I've ever had because we communicate honestly, and he does have a sort of subtle chivalry.

[@wvnovello]

One thing that is universal, is my ability to strike out with girls regardless of nationality. That ability transcends cultures.

[@solomioist]

A real complement from a north German: "You don't look that bad" ("Du siehst nicht ganz schlecht aus")

[@playerpb8745]

Stimmt😂

[@alex__boe]

Junge junge junge da haut der Norddeutsche ja mal richtig die Komplimente raus :D (Grüße ausm Süden)

[@saibot5286]

Alex Boe muss

[@danielsach1506]

Nicht geschimpft is genug gelobt

[@KabirSarkar143]

Don't?

[@TheSwedishRider]

When a German teenage magazine beats American education...

[@zrinko]

When i was a teen in the early 90´s they always had a picture of a naked boy and a naked girl standing there and then there would be an interview with them. It was good so you could see that most of the peoples bodys out there where nowhere near that perfect like you would see in tv or magazines. And no we would not wank to that, for this we had softporn on public tv stations after midnight :)

[@deathnote939393]

@@zrinko I definitely fapped to that xD

[@grantcivyt]

It's actually not that bad. First, America is a big place. Generalizing about "Europe" by looking at Germany would be a similar error. It's 50 states, and we don't have national requirements. Second, some kids get abstinence-only education in some places, but that isn't a majority. The U.S. is simply more flexible in this respect. Just like there are conservative parts of Germany, there are conservative areas of America. Lastly, we also have a free press, and our teen magazines are probably just as progressive as German ones. The main thing, though, is for people to think less about "America" and more about "50 states."

[@bAtACt1X]

Dr. Sommer did on its own ;)

[@島袋アキラ]

RandomDude Dr. Sommer turned me gay... lol

[@AllenMontgomery44]

I spent some time in Hessisch Oldendorf, Germany, from 1985 to 1988, while in the U.S. Air Force. I noticed that German men are much less aggressive than American men about approaching women, while German women compensate by being much quicker to approach men than American women do. For that reason, American men and German women tend to hit it off very well. But if a German man and an American woman meet, each of them sits there, waiting for the other to make the first move.

[@oluwagbemisegun7759]

Add me on Instagram with ornel_xs

[@waluigi3515]

That's very ironic.

[@edwardbruce2318]

Hahahahaha very good observation!!! Exactly how i saw at Stuttgart years ago

[@LesWilis]

Nein! In 1993, I asked out a German exchange student in High School. He found it too forward. A female German exchange student tried to console me saying, "Our culture is more reserved." Never asked another man out.

[@waluigi3515]

@@LesWilis well, he still ain't wrong haha

[@kenninast]

I hate those "games". If I'm interested in a lady and she starts playing games, my interests disappear immediately. Dating and relationships are more than complicated enough without such games. Don't do it. Ever.

[@sucram1015]

Right! It's a waste of time.

[@KevinJohn556]

I am 30 recently single and have had several long term relationships. Dating now is hell when your honest about what you want.

[@itsokaytobeclownpilled5937]

If you’re honest about looking for someone to marry, perhaps you’re meeting people who are looking for just a hook up? I ran into that problem when I was dating. I personally find men looking for a hook up repulsive. I’m of the mindset we are only compatible with 2% of the population.

[@Thekoryosmenstribepodcast]

@@itsokaytobeclownpilled5937 same. I'm a male, and hate this disgusting STD packed hook up culture. I'm personally talking to some women in ukraine. I have lost faith in american women.

[@itsokaytobeclownpilled5937]

Warrior Mindframe I don’t blame you. But, I think you should look closer to home. Marrying someone of a different culture doesn’t always work.

[@mattk6827]

I'd agree to some extent with what some have said, people just on different pages. One wanting casual hookups, the other wanting something more serious. But a lot of times it can be over the top when someone (in my case the woman) is 'honest' about what she wants. Especially up front in the beginning. "Well I'm looking for something serious". Just because I may step back doesn't mean I'm looking for a casual hookup, just means lemme see if I even like that person enough to want that. Too many ready to go brides looking for a man to fit the bill rather two people evolving together and deciding that something serious is fitting for them. Being ready for the role and just looking for some rando piece to fill it seems a bad way to go but to each their own. I'm sure the same could be said flipping the genders/roles, just from my experience. Like if I'm just starting out with someone, don't hand me a rulebook of expectations.

[@jimjohnson5481]

@@mattk6827 Yeah I agree let it happen naturally and have a relationship where you can be honest. Everything works so much better if someone isnt trying to force it and you feel you can express how you feel.

[@marcuskoseckshorts]

I'm an American and I'm very clear about my intentions. The women love it. I've had very successful communication because of it. I highly recommend being direct.

[@jimjohnson5481]

I am to and it usually works well unless its a sensitive topic. For instance, if you question why they are flirting with other guys when they are dating you. That doesnt go over well and usually leads to game playing and your accused of being controlling. Which is another way of shaming you so you dont bring up their flirting.

[@lemondrizzlecake7766]

I'm Italian, and I find my experience reflects a lot of your "German" way. Maybe it's more of a European thing? I feel Italian/Southern Europeans are more chatty, like the American types, but everything else (the lack of formal dating rules, the splitting the bills, the assumed monogamy, the long-term relationships) is more in line with what you described. And what about the games? Like, I don't know anyone past the age of 13 who plays "games"...

[@MatthieuPiquemal]

French here, same!

[@seider780]

When I was dating in America (I have experience with 18-24 year olds so I can’t say I know it all) I found that 90% of them play games. Guys too apparently. I’m not down for this shit it’s just time wasting.

[@Libellulaire]

@@seider780 Yes. And the worse is that they don't even realize it. I was involved with an american guy, and he claimed he didn't like mind games, he liked honesty. But in the end he did play games, he just didn't realize it. I still don't understand how it's even possible... But even in friendships with them, I feel that playing mind games is quite common for them. They also seem to get offended quite easily. So often I feel like I have to be extra careful and very diplomatic just because they take everything for them. Like once with another friend we were discussing health habits and issues while one of our other friends was eating chips, and he got all offended because we were "attacking" him when we weren't even talking to him. If you feel that bad about eating chips, just stop, don't blame it on us. I have a bunch of american friends, and they're fun and all, but sometimes it gets tiring.

[@mikehurst9022]

EZ answer for all those wondering about American "games". People in the US, especially those in their 20's right now, were raised on US pop culture. Movies, TV shows, and music have convinced most people that there is a certain set of "roles" or expectations that one has to live up to... just like they do in the movies. When your partner doesn't play the part of your romantic love interest, as if you were the main character in a movie or TV drama, a rift is created in between expectation and reality. Men and women both play "games" in order to fulfill these fantasies and a large portion of relationships here only remain enjoyable when the fantasy is continually perpetuated.

[@lemondrizzlecake7766]

mike hurst I don’t think it’s that. I mean, we all grew up watching the same American movies and listening to the same American music no matter where we were (at least here in Europe). So it must be something else . I think in this case the movies reflect the culture, not the other way round.

[@fastlegente3430]

Actually in Germany it got quite normal having the first lessons of sex education in 4th grade, at least in NRW.

[@jamesglendening5180]

My first sex ed class was in 4th grade in Florida, USA. We moved to North Carolina, USA when I was 11 and the first sex ed class there was in 6th grade and gave us much less information than the 4th grade class in Florida did.

[@denkikaminari8703]

I'm from NRW too, and when we First had sex education in 4th Grade, i was almost the only one that could learn without giggling and laughing all the time. Why is that so complicated for some people?

[@kathyp1563]

In Ohio (Same state), sex education starts in 4th grade. Granted, it's just sexual biology...what to expect. Then, in 6th grade, you learn more about your gender's body difference. 7th grade you learn about the opposite sex body. Remember, she's never gone through our American system. Maybe her peers didn't pay attention.

[@fastlegente3430]

@@kathyp1563 still, just anatomy is.. nothing. We learn how pregnancy works, how to use condoms and such about STDs and more. I'm in 9th grade now and will have sex ed another time as actually *having* sex is getting relevant just now and probably will learn more stuff there

[@katrinwe6345]

I am a teacher at a German school. I teach sex education in the 4th grade, starting with the male/female body. Then it‘s about hygiene, sex, contraception, pregnancy and birth. In grade 6 the kids have further sex education

[@ronyerke9250]

Your English is so good that it's difficult to tell that you're not a native speaker. Although I noticed a telling mistake, you speak better than many so-called native speakers. I'm impressed. FYI, we don't MAKE compliments, we GIVE them. They're small gifts.

[@FelifromGermany]

Thanks for correcting me I appreciate it! :)

[@ronyerke9250]

You're welcome. Gratitude for correction is evidence of a student or a mind still trying to improve something. A lot of people stop wanting to improve and start calling helpful people rude. I bet most of them don't consider themselves to be rude when they do that, but they are.

[@KingFisherMacD]

Or you can "pay" someone a compliment.

[@griffiththecuckgod6620]

She Speaks Good english Her German Accent Is Really Mild But I hear German Accent In their most all words she saying has german accent but rly mild Edit: i meant to say english i misspelled english and put German Lol

[@jefferywilliams9592]

I think it is cute when she says make a compliment. My Russian friends say the same :) But yeah her English stands out as being to perfect. Far to articulate to be an American (Sadly).

[@brandon5341]

I think your English is fantastic.

[@r93-x6j]

ich stimme zu

[@deldia]

Too American.

[@JohnBaker821]

I can barely tell she's even German.

[@jefftalbot8371]

Germany mandates all school children to be taught English.

[@JohnBaker821]

@Michael Nickname haha, I'm just glad she didn't learn British English

[@keilanatalierose]

Who are these girls letting guys pick them up at their house and know where they live from a first date? Don't do this ladies

[@kristinazoe370]

word

[@calmbbaer]

It might be a friend-of-friend thing for those who already know, but that's certainly not happening with dating apps.

[@Jana_7]

I was thinking the same thing. I wouldn't even let him know what neighborhood I live in, forget knowing where my actual house is.

[@ratj4715]

Really this isn’t what I see in my kids or their friends. They get pick up at their homes most of the time. And am in my 50s and always pick up my dates at their homes.

[@lynnb2562]

It used to be common when I was a kid. I don't think I'd still do that if I were young today.

[@SarahLizDoan]

I’m 36, born and raised in the U.S. I’m in a long-term committed relationship with no intention of marrying; he and I are absolutely committed and completely in love and absolutely happy and loyal to each other but we’re not moving in and not getting married. We simply don’t want too. We’ve been together almost 2 & 1/2 years and my friends are like “why aren’t you engaged? Why aren’t you moved in? When are you getting married?”. I know they mean well but there’s still immense pressure in America to label it and lock it down. In 2020. At 36. And after one marriage and divorce for myself and 2 marriages for my own boyfriend. I think we know what we need and want and I wish there was less stigma. He and I both have German ancestry (not related!) and we are more German in actions and how we got together than not. We are as in love as ever and communicate and work at it. We are so blessed! Thank you for this amazing relationship video!

[@Србомбоница86]

2 years is very little time though ,hope you last for many years

[@chrstiania]

i wish you all the best for your relationship. but I guess there's another cultural difference, I don't think Germans would consider a 2 year relationship a long termin relationship yet. we would just call that "relationship". if I think longterm relationship I think 10, 15 or 20 years. depending on the age 5 years would be okay aswell. like a 20 year old in a 5 year relationship. When I was 17, I was with my then boyfriend for 2 years by the time he broke up with me. it was a commited relationship, but not a "long" one

[@Plutonium_2_3_9]

Also, as an American, I married a foreigner, they’re more traditional, no games, and I love her culture.

[@urwrstntmre]

Where is she from?

[@pep590]

So the American girls are playing games too.

[@johnsbanana7246]

@@jayruusamaa not all of them. I met alot of lovely and funny girls in the us

[@sarahcura3115]

I feel like I understand my German boyfriend just a bit more now. He definitely shows little to no shame about sex, which I appreciate so much as an American who was very shamed for being sexual. Your insights into American culture definitely reflect a limited part of the US, but quite accurate for the part you are speaking about. Thanks for the video!

[@De1taX]

I was born in Latvia but grew up in the US, but because I grew up in European culture at home, it made it very difficult to adjust to American dating because the family culture effects how relationships are viewed. Pros and cons from each culture, but can be hard to adapt to.

[@cieralexine]

This is really great! I never realized so many dating behaviors that I was taught are cultural. I grew up in a very religious community and I never had guys approach me so I always introduced myself first. Sometimes I would ask a guy out but that was very frowned upon- especially in the religious community. I was taught that if a guy wants you, he'll pursue you. Then I started dating and wanting to be honest about how I felt but instead was taught that if you act distant then they'll want you. I'm overall a friendly and engaging person and I thought something was wrong with that until I met someone who is also outgoing and honest. I'm very happy I found someone I don't have to pretend with or expect to always pursue me. Thank you for sharing! I hope that dating in the US becomes more genuine and less complicated for young people.

[@richardgeorgeb66gmail.63]

You sound so geat

[@Antoniobraga-zw1fr]

Wow nice can we be friends?

[@dasNachtisch]

I wasn't prepared for the Dr. Sommer style ending xd

[@KM-hp3sj]

I would never tell a guy I barely know where I live, so he can pick me up. 😅 That's insane.

[@bicanada4927]

That’s what I thought! I like my privacy

[@skullcandy15151]

I actually went on a few dates with someone recently and we met up at each others houses after talking for a few weeks through social media/text or call. This seems normal to me, as an American. I can say the “playing games” is too real, I find that no one wants a committed relationship my age and can never just be frank with you and give you a clear answer to what you ask.

[@pumasgoya]

This is all recent paranoia. A cultural shift.

[@inquisitive6786]

@Hype Lyfe You must be a girl.

[@simonpowell2559]

Kind of makes sense, but you would trust him on a date. What's the difference?

[@victorialo8992]

I'm German and the only thing that's really more complicated is not knowing when you're exclusive and committed ... sometimes even not knowing whether you've just been on a date or not :D That's why the term "dating" was actually imported from English when online dating started coming up ... In Germany, behavior is very fluid between friendship and romantic interest ... whereas in the US the rules of the game are pretty clear at first. Which of course doesn't mean that the result will be clear because love is always complicated! I really enjoy these differences because they make life and love fun and interesting ...

[@abbdas22mohammed]

Can we talk Vactiria

[@madnessbydesignVria]

I (American) never really dated, I just 'got together' with women I already knew. After I got divorced, I was in a world I did not know: the Dating World. I had heard horror stories from people I knew, but I had never experienced it. My God. The games. Why? I grew up here, and I still can't understand the games. I do like the chivalry thing. I expect to pay for dinner, drinks, whatever. BUT, I also don't feel like she 'owes' me anything for it. That's not chivalry, that's prostitution. Go into the date not expecting anything, and just have fun. Whatever happens, happens... :)

[@darktimesatrockymountainhi4046]

Interesting that, as the son of an Hungarian woman in America, I somehow learned these. Born & raised in the US, growing up American, yet learning German, I felt dreadfully awkward with girls & didn't really understand some of my peers' behavior. Now I understand why. Thanks, Felicia!

[@hyperman717]

Sounds like I need to find myself a German girl. The way she says Germans date is the way I prefer to date.

[@exantiuse497]

How she described how Germans date isn't at all exclusive to Germany in fact. I've been to many countries in Europe and I think what she said about Germany more or less applies to all of them. I haven't been to America so I can't say how it is there, but apparently what she said was true and it's pretty different compared to Europe

[@mmoltich]

I have no idea how your video came up on my recommended list but I watched the whole thing. Your English is superb and your delivery is engaging. Not to mention your cuteness. Keep going on the videos. I’m going back to my regularly scheduled channels :)

[@richardturner9317]

I worked in Munchen back in the 1980's for 5 years in all and really enjoyed my time there but I never knew a German who smiled as much as you do, even a Bavarian !

[@fuckthedumbsh1t]

We don't mind your talks about these topics. You have no need to apologize, or explain yourself thank you for sharing

[@janeathome6643]

I prefer the German way!! (American here)

[@nicksantoro868]

Jane at Home move there then

[@06BIBOI]

VERY obviously better than "america" in just about EVERY way !!!

[@HatedAlways]

Or we can improve America? But that's too much effort right?

[@sayrerowan734]

Bad Moe, what a typically knee-jerk defensive " 'Merica!" response.

[@deme9873]

@Jane at Home I suppose that you are not much for any of that romance crap. Only bread and butter and meat and potatoes for you.

[@agyk.5589]

Yup, that pretty much sums it up! My fiancé who was stationed in Germany where we met was acting completely different than German guys his age and that’s what I enjoyed so much! He really acted like a true gentleman, giving me compliments and paying for our dates, something that I never experienced with German guys. He on the other hand told me that he loved how pragmatic I was and how clearly I communicated my feelings with him and how he always thought american women were ‚too dramatic and petty‘ compared to Germans, which I kind of agree

[@Eli-pm1pi]

Sounds like I should get me an American dude. xD

[@persikii8020]

That’s how most of the Europeans people date. Everything is straight and no games are played. You don’t need to have materials belongs to impress someone because most of the girls work and the can take care of themselves. In America things are different, work, house and cars play a big role

[@NewBlueTrue]

Persik II I’m just speculating here, but the way Americans date probably also deals with their social safety nets. I hear in Europe people just have a child with someone they are with and life just goes on, but in the US, if a woman gets pregnant the man she is with has to have some sort of financial stability because in a lot of jobs the employer will fire you for getting pregnant or taking too much time off from child birth. Who wants to put themselves in a situation where they have a child on the way and no high enough source of income. Good luck getting assistance from the government. What if the relationship ends. Well most women end up homeless or in lifelong poverty. That’s probably one reason why woman in the US expect a lot from the man.

[@Eternal_Tech]

@@NewBlueTrue According to one statistic, 90% of the homeless are male - www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2013/may/07/men-gender-divide-feminism . Homelessness is mostly a male problem, not a female one.

[@joeya.1043]

Cars play big roles in europe too... Although I do not get it. But my brother and most of his friends and my ex seem to be obsessed with cars

[@eileensweeney2500]

There is no state in the US where the majority of the female population does not partake in the workforce.

[@eileensweeney2500]

@@NewBlueTrue It is illegal to fire you for pregnancy. If that happens, you can sue you employer and you will win. However, while there is long maternity leave, it is by and large unpaid, and there is very little mandatory paid maternity leave, which can complicate matters... Most women don't end up in lifelong poverty, although they are at greater risk of poverty in retirement because social security, America's government-run pension fund system, pays out based on what is paid into it in terms of taxes, which are separate; they are on a flat rate for all Americans and apply to those who are exempt from standard income taxes. But statistically, single men are actually less likely to own a house than single women. Granted, the difference is not statistically significant, but still, it means that there really is not a big difference between men and women concerning home ownership.

[@Faze-2]

The games part was very accurate

[@sagorhowlader299]

Really

[@dominickklusman72]

Hi Michael

[@amedtiote2845]

FLi

[@pep590]

Maybe for some of the young 20 year olds who are very immature. I totally disagree with how she presented Americans. I've never seen a girl or guy who really liked each other who played games. Games are for womanizers and when the other person is ok or convenient. Then yes it happens.

[@2LegHumanist]

The German way is also the-rest-of-the-English-speaking-western-world-outside-of-North-American way. The idea of "dating" multiple people would not go down well in Australia, New Zealand, the UK or Ireland either. It can happen that people don't want to be exclusive, but it's the same as you say, "the talk" is the one where they agree to not be exclusive.

[@sylvanathornton2119]

I've heard that from people from other nations as well. The dating multiple people thing does seem to be more of an American thing. Personally, I can't stand it. But I moved to the US from Europe when I was 18 (I'm now 43). Exclusivity is always assumed. Non-exclusivity needs to be discussed. Here in the US, it's the other way around.

[@scorpiokitty9745]

And not only the english-speaking world either-same rules goes for us here in Scandinavia.

[@willn703]

Depends on where and how you were raised in America. The way I was raised, admittedly as an Air Force brat moving all over the continental US, was one woman at a time and she gets your whole attention until you mutually decide to part ways. I've noticed in the more urban/suburban environment you can run into the dating "multiple" people. In the more rural areas its not so much that way. At least that's been my experience.

[@theragingplatypus4743]

I've never known a single person that dated multiple people.

[@99bambieyes]

I'm from the New York/ New Jersey area. There is definitely a problem with commitment for people in their 20s. It's incredibly annoying and makes dating quite awkward sometimes. People are afraid to show emotions too early so it's very hard to tell where you stand until a conversation is eventually had.

[@Tragicneverwins]

You hit the nail right on the head! The key to ANY relationship is communication!

[@ericpederson3105]

"As soon as you start spending time with a person in a romantic way, your not supposed to see any else at the same time." It used to be like this in America not all that long ago. When I was in my youth in the late 80's and 90's it was very common that once you knew you enjoyed being with a person you were "off the market" and focused on that person and yourself as a pair. In my opinion that works so much better.

[@Framer_Mike]

#truth.. i graduated in 91...

[@pskarnaq73]

Class of '91. Same.

[@Stuntzii1]

95 here ya i just dont understand the dating now i guess nice guys do finish last

[@02111991Kw]

Born in 91 and I've never realized the change

[@02111991Kw]

@@Stuntzii1 nice guys don't finish last. Shitty guys who act nice do.

[@polyglotdevcalebyang]

A german friend once told me at a student event in munich that if you make a friend in germany, its magical. I still live by that mantra.

[@Docinaplane]

I'm in Florida. I had the pleasure of meeting a German girl in Haiti when I was there on a surgical mission from the University, and she was a German dental student doing a summer project there. We became good friends very quickly. We both had close relationships already, but we were able to have a very close friendship for years! She visited in the US and I saw her in Germany a few times. Ulrike was very special and a relationship I will always treasure.

[@Dani_Reasor]

I met several German students who were interning at a resort that I used to work at in Florida, and they all struck me as delightfully friendly people. I was grateful for the way that their friendship freed me from some stereotypes I was holding.

[@Docinaplane]

Daniel! I understand what you mean. Because of our history in the US with Germany, and hating the language in high school, lol, I had grown up with views of the German people that totally changed in a very positive way after spending time with them. Actually, I've been lucky to travel a lot, and I have met wonderful people all over the world.

[@TKUA11]

U got friendzoned?

[@willsofer3679]

The Germans of yesteryear are certainly not the Germans of today. Thank you for volunteering like that, by the way. When I was pre-Med, I always wanted to do something in the future like Doctors Without Borders. Glad to see someone was helping others with their skills.

[@johannageisel5390]

@@willsofer3679 Well, we DO have assholes with very backward opinions here. But those types are rarely doing a summer project in Haiti. ^ ^

[@mattheckel2609]

I think a system where you have to "opt out" of exclusivity rather than "opt in" is the only fair system. It forces you to make your mind up sooner and prevents stringing the other person along.

[@neonsparxx]

Absolutely. I learned my lesson the hard way with an American guy. Thought we were madly in love but realized he never gave a fuck about me and only told me what I wanted to hear. He said and did the nicest things. I thought he was the perfect person. We pretty much lived together at his place in the US for 3 months. Continued talking everyday when I had to fly back to Germany. Then when I wanted to visit him again, he told me he had dated multiple girls and was not interested in me at all. 2 years later now and I'm still suffering from severe depression and trauma due to the emotional abuse. I had no clue about those "rules" over there. I believed and trusted him. This experience has literally broken me. I am not the same person anymore.

[@TexasGTO]

My wife and I practically moved in with each other after a few months. I didn't want to spend much time without her.

[@CaL-76]

You can also see the difference on how both countries view “sex” through laws. Prostitution is legal in Germany while it is illegal in the USA minus some areas in Nevada.

[@davidfreeman3083]

Interestingly it seems to work both ways. You might think that the USA's rejection of legalization sex trade like prostitution is due to the more religious and conservative nature (at least on average) of the American society (which is true to some extent). However, it's also worth nothing that some very 'liberal' places like Philly, CA, NYC has had individual/local laws that punish prostitution even further, like register prostitute seekers as sex offenders, etc. While on the other hand, NV is a relative conservative state. (Although I feel like the liberal, cosmopolitan places usually are more 'protective' to sex sellers). I feel that it's pretty much a left-right consensus at least to some point (which is rare). Both prominent progressives and prominent conservatives have strong claims against legalization of prostitution.

[@bretgalloway1686]

Overall, I enjoyed her video!! She has a fantastic personality!! From my experience dating, I agree with her for Americans in their late teens & early 20s. But for people in their late 20s and older, the experience is a lot like how she described the German experience. Perhaps because of sex education, Germans have a head start on dating properly. The other aspect with dating in America is heavily based on region. Dating in the south, I’ve found the women expect us men to pay. In the New England region, I found that women were often insulted when men tried to pay.

[@waveletka]

As a European (Polish) I find dating in US utterly frustrating. I guess Poles and Germans are pretty similar. You got the differences right. What bothers me tho most is the assumption that you should tell others what they want to hear. I have no clue how Americans actually build healthy and stable relationships with this assumption. It puts me off so much.

[@hrvojestokic1203]

Agree. How she explain about Herman dateing that's the same in Croatia

[@nickcox1408]

I'm American, you got me brother. Most American men nowadays dont get it either. American women mostly undesirable to most of us.

[@jonathanbradshaw926]

HAHA I don't recall dating ever being this complicated. My experience was more like - "hey let's go out until we don't anymore or get married."

[@omaversteher1]

Then you're rlly good looking or very old ^^ Today it feels more like picking the perfect pet. If it doesn't fit to your lifestyle anymore, pick another one.

[@guilhermep8414]

Nice video. That's why I love german girls. No bull shit just say what it and where the relationship is moving towards and this is it and be honest.

[@jasonscott5068]

I think the German way sounds much less complicated 👌🏽

[@theunofficialhindu6883]

Your eyes are so captivating, and I love when you talk German (your accent is beautiful).

[@citadel9611]

As an American, I would agree that there are a good amount of Americans that are too promiscuous; along with playing games as well.

[@texastulips2620]

Citadel ; I definitely agree with you! Game playing and not just being honest and communicating is very frustrating and makes dating challenging. Ugh!

[@MrChillerNo1]

Germans or Europeans are quite promiscuous too, just not like Americans. We are not playing games. casual sexual encounters while single are normal. But then Americans tend to have more shame concerning sexuality, which explains for me why they play games. Without the shame comes the directness.

[@petraw9792]

@Citadel But are they open about being promiscuous? If they are not, than that's the difference. Germans can have an open relationship, but they talked about this, decided on this kind of relationship together and agreed on rules.

[@MrChillerNo1]

@Petra W I agree, in Europe (as far as i know also in progressive parts of the US and others progressive enviroments ww.) open relations are mostly comunicated with all parties, at least the long-term ones.

[@scorpiokitty9745]

@@petraw9792 here's the difference: what you americans call "promiscious", is not that at all in Europe. Here, we see sex as something natural and normal, and nothing to be ashamed of at all. Eurooeans are much more natural and relaxed when it comes to nudity and sex. So, when you say "do they know they're promiscious", the answer is "no"-because from European standard, we're not.

[@TheCanalZone]

I went to graduate school in Belgium and lived there for a little over two years. Had a German girlfriend for most of that time. The reason people think Americans play games is because American women have a lot more expectations from American men when they are dating. American women expect American men to pursue, except American men have never been taught that they need to pursue. Often American men want to take it to the next level, but they don't know how to get there so it looks like he is playing games with the American woman but he is really just confused. See, in order to play games you have to have rules. Violating/upholding the rules to varying degrees is when the 'games' are being played. German women have no expectations from a male suitor so there are no rules to violate or uphold. Even on the first date, my German girlfriend tried to pay for things and I found this very confusing. I was her pursuer and her host, so she was just supposed to enjoy the ride. In my mind, this was standard American dating protocol. While pursuing her, I would make it a point to let her know where we stood, because I believed it was my job to do so. At the end of a date, I would tell her that I had a great time and I wanted to see her again. I believed it was incumbent upon me to put myself out there at every step, because that is what real men do. If I got shut down, I would simply pick up the pieces and move on. We had a wonderful relationship that lasted a year and a half. I came back to the U.S. because I couldn't get a full time job in Europe. We still keep in touch. She hooked up with a guy and has been with him for 25 years or so. She moved in with him and had two of his children. This is another example of no/low expectations from a male suitor as in, you don't have to even propose marriage to have a woman bear your children. Bearing children out of wedlock in the U.S. is more taboo than it is in Europe, because we have more stringent rules as to what men/women do in a relationship. Just my personal life experience people. Your mileage may vary! :-)

[@nyrockchicxx]

@@BurningUp99 You must be watching too much Kardashians! WTF did you get that idea?! Here's what I've learned: Women (& men) should go after what attracts them. Beauty & Love is in the eye of the Beholder and who you Behold could be around for the next 15, 40, 60 years of your life, so it better be pleasing to you. If you're real. Too many people wait to see their friend's approval on who they choose and if it's not there, they dump the person. That's shallow, just like the idealized comment you made.

[@Xibalba_x_LMl2902]

@@BurningUp99 and apparently all men are a pain in the ass based on my one observation from you. One male claiming ALL american woman are loud mouthed an entitled and are picky. Some of the relationships in my family and friends say otherwise as well as my personal example where despite having a gorgeous, tall, black haired, fair skinned, sweet, smart COWBOY as my boyfriend I broke up with him. Not because I found someone better but because I was going through so much shit,and a lot of it, that I wasnt there for him emotionally and lovingly as one should be in a relationship as he was with I. I was null and void. I. Felt. Nothing. I couldn't do that too him because he deserved better than the me at that time. He has a new girlfriend now and I am overjoyed that he found someone to love him the way I couldn't at the time. But hey I'm just a "loud mouthed, selfish, entitled American woman. " What on pinche earth do I know.

[@BurningUp99]

@@Xibalba_x_LMl2902 You better get up to speed with what is going on in the U.S. I'm not a pain in the ass..I treat women like a princess but I spit on American women. I'll treat any Asian or Latin American women very well, but I'd let an American woman crawl for 6 miles on her knees just for a piece of bread to maybe survive another day. American women ARE spoiled, entitled, and very selfish. They think they deserve a rich, tall, good looking man with a giant cock just because they're an American woman. They don't know how to treat a man anymore. Just do a search on youtube there is 10,000 videos talking about this. Look at how fucking pathetic and shallow the women in California or NYC are for example. Even many women in the U.S. agree. It's all me me me and all about them. Men such as myself are the exact men that are fed up with American women. American women are in HUGE trouble because they opened up the flood gates and pissed off way too many men. There is a whole movement now where American men are boycotting and completely shunning American women. Also there is the MGTOW movement where men are boycotting women for relationships completely. The number of American men dating or marrying foreign women is increasing every year AND the stats show that the divorce rate between American women and foreign women is actually lower. You can't win this war because American men have a higher desirability rating in other countries than American women do. Most men in Europe don't even think American women are attractive in the slightest. Only some Asian men do...many don't.. American women attract black guys more than anything. You're right women like you get what you deserve. I feel no sorrow for any American woman. American men such as myself are going after beautiful, child free women in other countries in South America and so on. I'm in my early 40's, good looking, in ok financial shape, no children from previous marriages, no debt. Men such as myself spit on American women. You're dead to me.

[@nyrockchicxx]

@@BurningUp99 So when are you moving out of the USA so American Women won't have to be subjected to your tirades?

[@itsokaytobeclownpilled5937]

Hun, you’re bitter and resentful. That’s a huge turn off to people who aren’t using you. Women looking for an easy way to get an American citizenship don’t care if you’re dysfunctional. They only have to tolerate you for two years and then get citizenship for their husband and children back home. Hun, you need to lose the attitude and learn how to make and keep friends.

[@galindobbqanddeli]

This is a great video and I do agree for the most part. I'm an American but I was raised by my grandmother whose is German so I was taught that once you begin dating you should always be open. I married at 18 years old and am now 32....and still going strong. Communication is key but also the way I was raised helped me establish my moral compass and take a relationship as a very serious thing, and that if you aren't ready to commit then you're not ready to find someone to spend time with

[@vannaneou7566]

Very thorough explanation of dating life in America in 2022. American dating is all about chivalry and those who win playing mind "game". In my experiences, it is very common for people to be talking to multiple persons at the same time as if having a pick at a buffet. If you don't fill the person's criteria, you're simply to be avoided through methods such as ghosting or lies to avoid direct confrontation. I cannot believe how the American dating scene can be too over dramatic and complicated when directness can lead to a successful relation most of the time. Keep up the good videos Felicia!

[@sharonhughes9122]

This is sooo on point for all of my friends who are still dating (they’re all in their late 20’s and 30’s).

[@harrislam]

Your smile makes my day. German dating sounds like my thing, with everything more direct (I'm not even American). It seems to have more things in common with Asian dating, especially the exclusivity part.

[@toddcorley464]

Please make a new video. I love to watch your views on the cultural differences and the things you enjoy about America even though we have a bad rep.

[@skylercady6661]

Her: There's two groups those who love commitment and get married in their 20's or those who are scared of commitment and get married in their 30's Me: There's three groups, the other is those who love commitment but can't find anyone because everyone wants to play games with my feelings.

[@samelis6546]

Lmao sorry for laughing but this cracks me up. Anyway, I wish you well and good luck! There's someone out there for you, maybe wait a bit or something

[@lazyperfectionist1]

I, personally, would also like to get rid of the stigma attached to the practice of carrying a condom. It's not about being opportunistic. It's about being prepared. Human beings survive by _not being abstinent._ You can't ask us to just not have this instinct, but you can _prepare_ us for it. That's why, on a state-by-state basis, the states in the US with the lowest rates of teen pregnancy _also_ happen to be the states that rely on fact-based sex education and readily available contraception.

[@blavek]

@John Smith Super judgey. What he says makes perfect sense. He didn't say that you can't also have condoms at home the point is, it is better to have one and not need it than to need one need one and not have it. If you have one with you then wherever you are you have one. He makes no assumption about the actions in fact based sex ed states. He implies correctly that people in fact based sex ed states are more prepared for the responsibilities of sex than the alternative. It is not a logical assumption that a person who carries a condom is promiscuous. That is like saying that person who has car insurance can (logically) be assumed to be a bad driver. It doesn't equate. There are very reasonable events which could lead to person being in a place that doesn't already have condoms and be having sex. Sure you can have them at your home and if you end up back there you can use one but you might not end up at your house. You could be at their house. Or in a hotel for whatever reason.

[@loganinkosovo]

The Girls I'm with don't fuck on the first date. So Condoms don't come into it. Try growing up and finding someone who is not a slut. Condoms will not protect you from genital herpes or being a stupid little boy.

[@jamesking6656]

Lol condoms? I mean if you think she may have something then maybe you shouldn't sleep with her

[@deme9873]

I'm sure that a conscientious condom carrier like you will do wonders for keeping the God Damned population down. I can only thank the Christ that I don't believe in.

[@FabFunty]

@John Smith 3. Human beings survived by NOT using condoms 🤓

[@naclnacl75]

Dating in America is like this, everyone knows everyone is only as faithful as their options, so people lie and play games to protect themselves from the other person

[@jimjohnson5481]

explain that more...how does playing games protect you from the other person. I am not saying it isnt true I dont understand.

[@JustScrapHD]

this is true on a fundamental level for all western countries. With the current age, people have more dating options than ever before and we are mentally used to getting the stuff we want when we want it (instant gratification, ordering stuff online and getting it the next day etc). This leads to short relationships, cheating, people not wanting to start serious relationships and so on.. read on it. Its interesting how this age influences society

[@KRAFTWERK2K6]

And the MeToo movement has made it even worse… because now a single word from the girl can ruin your entire life, if she didn't like the way the date went or she didn't get from you what she expected. The dating game is absolutely broken and i'm not sure if it's ever gonna be okay again.

[@naclnacl75]

@@jimjohnson5481 play games better than they play games

[@catnotmylastname1545]

@@KRAFTWERK2K6 That's ridiculous. Me too really applies to work place sexual harassment. If you are afraid of that, dont date women who work for you.

[@AdmiralFerret]

Anyways, I'm new to your channel as of today. My friends know I am trying to learn German, so I was sent one of your videos and have listened/watched several of them now. I love the videos, and I would love to visit Germany one day! I've definitely subscribed to your channel, and I look forward to seeing more of your content, and future videos! ((I realize this may be an odd place to post this, as it's almost 2 years old now, but I've let the videos play in whatever order KZbin puts them in, and this was the video I felt I should comment on.) [= Keep up the good work! [:

[@heraldtim]

I'm watching this on 16 Feb 2024. She says, "Thanks for 1000 subscribers!" Right now, this channel has 550K subscribers. Good for you, Feli!

[@biancavanvuren1481]

oh my heart 🥺 I'm an Australian living in Germany and the "make her compliments" is so sweet. It's a pretty common grammar 'mistake' amongst German native speakers but I always find it so cute - honestly your English is great though.

[@luscarora703]

What is the right way? To give compliments?

[@biancavanvuren1481]

Yeah exactly - you give a compliment, not make a compliment 😊

[@michilowliner412]

@@biancavanvuren1481 we like to produce things I guess :) Everyone can give away compliments. But a german compliment was made for you - I am not to be taken serious here, it is just what ran through my mind.

[@icemule]

"The talk" laughed out loud at that one, never thought about that, but it is true 100%.

[@miyajheale8078]

I noticed you keep saying that the American guys will complement you, but not mean it. That's, in my experience, not true at all. The thing is though, they do feel like they should complement you and so they search for something nice to say. If they say they like your hair or your eyes... they mean it... but they feel like they HAD to say something complimentary and often it comes across as insincere.

[@MuhammadQasimdream1]

Hi

[@etonbachs4226]

@@zerofuks416 That's not true. At least not for me. Unfortunately it's getting harder to compliment a woman without some sort of hashtag. If I compliment someone on their hairdo, I feel it instantly goes to the #metoo bullish.

[@combativeThinker]

Allow me to prove your point by saying that I love your style. It looks great on you.

[@theflowerhead]

I like American guys. ^^

[@Anotherguy1st]

Yeah I know I'll sound like a pervert saying this but if a guy compliments your eyes, it's bullshit. I don't think women, or at least most women crave sex like men do. Those corny lines are what we say when we want to compliment you but know we need to do it in a way you approve of, so yeah we'll say you have nice eyes even though we were staring at your tits all night when you weren't looking. But obviously we can't say you got a great rack! Because you'll just slap us or tell us off. I wouldn't take it badly though, all guys that are heterosexual are like that to some degree, they all want to sleep with you just realize that and find a good one who wants to have sex with you AND go out and have fun, shares interests, wants a relationship etc.

[@Dexxtrr]

I’m watching this right now and hearing you say “thank you for over 1,000 subscribers”. That’s crazy. Congrats on the success!

[@JoPlaysSims]

Wow. Dating in Germany sounds nice

[@SinzPet-]

yea that american "talk" about being exclusive is so stupid. once u start to go on dates with some1, u should just stick with that person until u decide if its gonna lead anywhere. i see anything else as a form of cheating ///Swede. Germany seems a lot like Sweden when it comes to dating tbh. Love it!

[@nemoethanstrayed2568]

Unless common sense of respect starts with acknowledging that the other person might not share your vision of relationships .

[@helenemaja0912]

Denmark too, maybe its because we are so close to eachother😆

[@TheBadassTonberry]

​@@nemoethanstrayed2568 Or acknowledge that you don't have to micro-manage EVERYTHING while still having a relative chance of success that is NOT undermined by anything out of your control. You see that person, you see ONLY that person. You click or you don't. No manipulative bullshit.

[@Jay123hollis]

I’m a American and I hate the American style of dating. When it comes to dating I’m serious and I want a relationship that leads to marriage.

[@jennifermoira5053]

Great vision

[@lydiakusimba7266]

Exactly

[@honeyqueen28]

❤️

[@ЕленаНеизвестная-я2ч]

Dear Jason, you can visit cuteonly or elenasmodels and you are handsome and you will be successful. I wish you the best of luck

[@Jay123hollis]

@@ЕленаНеизвестная-я2ч Thank you

[@sophiehood3867]

another difference i have found is the words “i love you” in the US it’s a huge deal and people wait for a while before they say it to someone but in germany if you’re in a relationship you say i love you and it’s not a huge deal if you say it early on. at least not of what i can remember. i could be wrong, i was still fairly young when i moved so maybe it’s just a kid thing.

[@fancyfallacy]

I actually think it’s the other way around haha. I feel like Americans use ‘I love you’ pretty liberally and also tell it to friends and family, whereas in Germany it’s mostly for romantic relationships and it usually takes a while before people say it.

[@lena.gielsdorf]

@@fancyfallacy Yeah, I guess "I'm in love with you" means true love ("Ich liebe dich"). But "I love you" is more about liking someone ("Hab dich lieb")... That topic is quite confusing in American movies sometimes, because of bad translation😁.

[@robbieg416]

Love the video. I like learning about the differences between cultures. Thanks!

[@datingtips3765]

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[@yurandicianni1055]

Just ran into your channel! Super interesting haha Having been raised in the US (born in Brazil), I can totally relate to having felt like I need to conform to some sort of game. Germans really got dating right!

[@aaronwhite1786]

One thing I think would be cool would be a video on German weddings vs American ones. I met some Bavarians last summer, and they were a blast. I was talking to them about weddings back in Bavaria and from the way they described it, it sounded like an almost all day event that would be a blast. Great channel, by the way!

[@KingFisherMacD]

Having been to a handful of German and American weddings, I can say. Germany wins. Yes, they're an all day affair. Starting with Church Service in the morning and lasting through the night till the wee hours.

[@ivoryiris97]

Went to my first German wedding recently and it was a 13 hour affair... but so much fun!!

[@Libellulaire]

:o They're not like that in the US ? I'm French-Portuguese, and apparently it's the same as in Germany: in the morning you go to City Hall/Church for the official ceremony, then we all drive to where there will be what everybody came from: THE FOOD. The food part starts at like 1-2 pm, and it never ends. It literally never ends, there's no limit. If it's a place you rent, you usually rent it until the next day/morning. I remember as a kid, all the kids ended sleeping on the chairs or some place for us, because it was past midnight. Now that I'm 28 I stay with everybody else, drinking and dancing until the sun raises again :P It's actually the same with baptisms and such. Is it something very official and "proper" in the US ? While in Europe it's more like a giant party ?

[@ex0stasis72]

I love how you correct your grammar in a caption, but I don't realize there was a grammar until after I read it.

[@kylegraham6082]

Personally as an American, I like communication and not the games. Also the rules and routines that people have for dating sometimes makes people judgemental and shallow. Therefore people are not always given the chance to show that the want to date someone. You are beautiful and amazing. I love German women. I have been to Germany and it was amazing. I would like to meet you in person.

[@randolph4421]

Yo on the real this channel is lit keep it up

[@jeffbreezee]

I was stationed in Bamberg with the US Army in the mid 90s. I learned German language over there and was outgoing and got many dates.

[@Matze7777123]

Greetings from Bamberg!

[@kudzibiri436]

Oh I stayed in Bamberg at Bamberg uni from 2018 to 2022

[@ERICKlingstenSC]

Keep on smiling, Sweetheart! I betcha that a lot of us US guys are asking you out all the time! I've really enjoyed your films/videos here.

[@catnotmylastname1545]

"Playing games" is just a lot of lieing to each other. I have never understood how American people expect to have that kind of idealized romantic relationship when they just lie to each other. It's hard to believe that anyone gets married in the US by the dating habits here and easy to see why divorce rates are upward of 50% for new marriages.

[@Watch_Mechanic]

I'm from Texas and here most of us are taught to speak our minds and mean what we say. I thought the way you described Americans as peaches, for the most part is true. I also believe that if you were to come to Texas (recommend coming in "fall" or "spring") you'll find that most people are very kind and caring. If a little conservative.

[@tonyutter]

Exactly!

[@rrondon3280]

I spent a lot of my life in Texas and to say Texans are taught to speak their minds seems like an overstatement. Compared to the northeast U.S., they're much more approachable right off the bat but they like to sugarcoat just as much, if not more, than the next American. Maybe it's the southern influence which values being "nice" over being honest. And yeah, outside of big cities Texans can be very traditional-minded. Personally, I think the south and western part of Texas are friendlier than the east. Don't let that stop you from enjoying it's expansive beauty and interesting national parks.

[@zyxwut321]

So, one thing that might influence your experience a bit is that you mentioned you were living in the Midwest (Cincinnati I think). That's a bit more conservative than if you were living, say in San Francisco or LA or New York. Coastal cities and states in general are much more liberal, cosmopolitan, well-traveled (including international travel) and probably are more fluid and have fewer "rules" or expectations. In the larger cities, people tend to associate and make friends with people from work, who have similar interests or from college or graduate school. It's much less about traditional norms and just hanging out with people from your hometown or your immediate community. I hope you get the chance to live in a bigger place and experience that environment too.

[@tami.41]

When I was in 3rd or 4th grade there was already sex education (I'm from Germany)

[@adnanjusic4890]

nice name for brainwashing

[@LyraSvalbard]

@@adnanjusic4890 what

[@adnanjusic4890]

@@LyraSvalbard sex "education" of kids bellow 18 y.o. is child abuse and brainwashing at the same time! it kills true gentlemens and ladies in them...

[@LyraSvalbard]

@@adnanjusic4890 "sex education" doesn't necessarily mean you talk about actual sex. It also means teaching about bodies, simple biology. Also, sex is the most natural thing in the world.

[@LyraSvalbard]

@@adnanjusic4890and below 18? Believing people below 18 aren't having sex/sexual thoughts is naive. If a 16 year old gets pregnant you can't really complain if you never taught them about sex.