Are you a boy or a girl? - You don't define me | Beck Strohmer | TEDxEAL

[@heyitshollis9278]

"When I was 32" You literally look 20

[@cisrot]

oh man don't scroll down it's just a bunch of crybabies whinging about people actually exploring gender and finding a comfortable place for themselves

[@mrwhopee]

Yeah god forbid people speak out against narcissism

[@dakotastorms1255]

brady identify as you want just don't force anyone else to change their way or thinking. Language or beliefs

[@tothediaspora3905]

I'm watching these to better understand gender

[@milliefusion7340]

The last couple of TED talks on this issue, the speakers are so nervous, that I can feel their nervousness. It's funny, because any other topic out there, I don't really notice this. I feel for these speakers...the courage it must take to get up and speak, let alone about ideas that some people may find hard to accept. Nice job!!

[@shaheedawilliam498]

This hodge podge rambling intended to explain the inexplicable is really quite sad. There are only 2 genders, male and female!!!

[@jacobaeden]

Wow a lot of mean comments. People gets so defensive. When you don't experience it, does not mean it is not true

[@jacobaeden]

the gender thing is true because society have made gender roles so distinct to a point that people do not feel they belong and they feel better being identified in a spectrum which can be called genderqueer, non-binary, non-conform.... but for some people they don't feel like they are in the right body, in mental health, they have body dysphoria which i think is a bit offensive when people they say they have mental problems just because they are not the majority or different than social norm

[@Bawbster1]

EXACTLY. There are over 7 billion individuals in this world... Making them fit into one of 31 idealogical genders defined by someone else is a form of control and is oppressive. It's an attack on individualism and free thinking. 2 genders, 7 Billion individuals. PERIOD.

[@zilun]

It is not true. Growing up, I do not fit into male stereotype at all, but I'm simply just a man who does not fit into male stereotypes, and nothing more. If I were to grow up in this era, trying to figure out my "gender indentity", I'd be so lost and confused and probably suicidal. This type of psychological indoctrination on kids is child abuse. They don't know what politics is, they don't know what false ideologue is, and they certainly do not know what gender is. They don't know where this "gender is a social construct" came from, the political goal behind it, and they certainly do not know the poster boy used to prove that theory "successful" committed suicide as an adult. It's child abuse.

[@zilun]

It's biology, it is not oppression. We do not divide people into 2 genders. We divide them into architects, lawyers, miners, bankers, educators, designers, artists, philosophers ... and within architects, there's still different ones, those who aim for best profit margin for developers, those who try to push boundaries. We know Frank Gehry as Frank Gehry, Tadao And as Tadao Ando, Zaha Hadid as Zaha Hadid. We don't group Gehry and Trump as same identity due to sharing same gender and then group Zaha Hadid with Hilary Clinton as one identity because they she the same gender, do we? We do see people as individuals. Since when did we stop seeing people as individuals? All this hoopla is just gender politics nonsense.

[@Bawbster1]

Gender is 100% Biological. Biology is a science. Gender is NOT based on your feelings, that's individualism. If you disagree that gender is not biological, then answer just 1 question... If gender is not biological, then why do transgendered people take hormone therapy?

[@mythgirl123456789]

"Are you a boy or a girl?" "What do you think I am?" "You are ___" "You are absolutely correct." Definitely gunna use that in the future when I also have no toleration for people haha.

[@babbbyl_on]

stop you have broken the law now you must pay the court a fine or serve your sentence

[@kimberly87s]

"They don't define me. I define me." Inspiring. I'm so glad I woke up today and watched this video. We definitely need more knowledgeable people in our world. ❤️❤️

[@beckstrohmer2601]

Thanks so much for your kind words.

[@kimberly87s]

+Beck Strohmer Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story!! 😊

[@dirint]

+Antoinette Esavian Yeah dude.

[@badgerslayer9827]

don't be deceived, God defines you. please give the bible an honest look for yourself. you're obviously not an idiot, but you are looking like a fool. you were blessed with many apparent skills and you should put them to use for God's will.

[@katemantis]

Professor Farmsworth:Sorry but your knowledge is outdated. Please check before commenting...stupidities.

[@psychicplebalien]

I thought it was very weird how I told a story about me going into work and my mom was all like "You held the door for some people? You aren't a guy!" and I'm just like "Yeah, no, but I am a nice person." It's as simple as that. Enbys just want to be treated like people. I think if men want to hold the door for me, that's fine. If I want to hold the door for them, that's fine. I think it could help eliminate sexism altogether if we all hold the door for each other, metaphorically. Can't people just accept that some of us are demiwoman, agender, genderqueer, or another term? Just be nice, it's not that hard.

[@dwsel]

Same. I identify as tomboyish female. I studied and now work with a group of mostly male and I'm used to opening doors to other people when they carry something, or when I walked to the door quicker than them. When they open the door before me I say "Thanks" no matter their gender. I've always dealt with that this way.

[@lemonadepie9631]

this person looks like eddie redmayne. here was my very insightful comment

[@simonj4889]

Thank you for this insight.

[@ubtpixielox]

Surprisingly "Kim" usually makes me think of a boy's name more than female, despite the fact that even the first couple people I met with this name, including my own aunt, were female. I don't know why, it's just kind of a weird thing I've always had.

[@iolair1973]

Maybe from the Rudyard Kipling character?

[@margotfitsch1443]

Kim Novak, Kim Stanley are both women

[@jestle]

I came out as non binary to my best friend/ soulmate with this on. THANK YOU SO MUCH AAAAAH

[@GDKLockout]

Do you still feel the same way 2 years later?

[@kristinloehrmann5262]

Super appropriate use of the F-Bomb. YASSS.

[@captainmorguen3431]

Thank you Becky for aknowledging that people just don't like to live in chaos and be confused, and for not getting super offended by curious strangers asking about your gender expression being unclear. Very mature of you. People don't really care about your genitals, unless they're interested in screwing you. They are just trying to have some clarity and order in this fast moving world with too much info. You don't have to give it to them, but you do. And that is very nice of you indeed. I wish you could teach some others to do the same.

[@lizuia]

"BUT IF YOU ARE FEMALE YOU WEAR MAKE UP AND DRESSESAND HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND---" NO. I can do whatever I want, if I dislike make up, dresses and "girly stuff" I dislike it. I am bisexual, complete trash, female, signed as tomboy, however I don't act like either the male stereotype, or the female one. I *hate* stereotypes, gender roles etc. 6:55 Also - BLESS YOU

[@joelhaggis5054]

That's a really cool tie.

[@jenlawson4291]

Beck, what a wonderful talk. Thank you very much. Your talk was funny, thought-provoking and I agree with you wholeheartedly that we need to start to realize that people are allowed to be what they WANT to be.

[@jordanc.2162]

I really appreciate this lecture. I found it informative and even entertaining at times. I am saddened that there is so much hate in the comments. I hope more people look less at gender and look at the characteristics of a person. I want to raise my children to choose their gender and let them be themselves.

[@duracontractors]

Choose their gender. Wtf, it's a boy or a girl... get over it. You sound mental.

[@tylera5598]

Same.... Also, youtube comment sections are so toxic. Don't listen to those people...

[@charismartin1169]

I'm so glad I watched this video. It really makes me feel secure in my identity, no matter what other people think.

[@thedukeofweasels6870]

I agree that the social construct of gender is kind of BS because things, activities, thoughts, feelings and mannerisms don't necessarily have to be gendered but I think if they are sometimes that's ok too. I don't believe stereotypical gender norms should be such a strict rigid prison to hold people back but at the same time I don't believe they should be completely non-existent because they are a powerful tool for some people to express their gender identity. Women don't have to be feminine or like traditionally girly things and men don't have to be masculine or like traditionally masculine things. But sometimes they do like the stereotypical things associated with their gender identity and sometimes they want to celebrate and take pride in their gender through the use of these social constructs and that is perfectly OK as well as long as they don't demean people for not fitting into these boxes. For instance most of my life I believed I was this cis female but I always like stereotypically traditionally male interests and sort of acted masculine, never really into feminine things. At the time I was rebellious I thought "fuck gender stereotypes I'm going to do what I like" but recently I have come to the realization that internally I identify as mostly male. Even though I know it's all just a constructed illusion I take a small amount of comfort and pride in all of the traditionally male things about my personality now that is framed in this new context. I know drinking beer watching hockey and listening to metal don't make me a man because many women probably like those hobbies as well but because I'll probably never have the opportunity to transition or pass in my daily life pretending that these social constructs do have meaning makes me feel good about myself. I'm well aware of the fact the clothing doesn't really have a gender, I always shoped from the men's department just because it was the clothes I like and feel the most comfortable in. At the time I was perfectly find with rebelling against my assigned gender but now those are still the types of clothes I prefer to wear even though they are technically in line with my gender identity. So maybe there is something inherent about me that likes these certain things just because I do regardless of gender. But at the same time many stereotypes may be distorted but also have a grain of truth. Maybe there is something inherent even if it is just cultural that makes these things feel masculine and my love for tham has always been a symptom of my true identity even before I was aware of it. If I didn't care about acting feminine when I thought I was a girl then why does acting masculine matter so much to me now. Maybe it's because I have to prove my identity to society because of my biology or maybe it's because I didn't feel female so I didn't care if I was seen that way but being male is a truer representation of myself and so it carries more weight in my brain. I used to think the social construction of gender was stupid bullshit that would never affect me but now I cling to it so strongly because without it how else will I express this version of myself that I feel so strongly but is forever invisible to the rest of the world. I can't properly describe or depict my inner self the closest I can come is to use the social construct of gender to display my personality and feelings in a way that's understandable. But what's the point of trying to be a guy if I'll always have a female body because transition it isn't for me. I never cared about having a female body or boobs and stuff until I realized how much I didn't match my inner me but if I didn't wear a bra when I thought I was female why should I wear a binder now that I know I'm male? Can I just be a dude with boobs, is that a thing! Many people would tell me my identity isn't valid unless I actually transition medically or at least really want to. But wouldn't I just be conforming to another social construct just to to meet somebody else's opinion of what I should be. If my gender dysphoria is not related to my physical body or at least not strongly why change. But then if I don't my true self will remain invisible, how can I expect people to see me for who I am and respect it if I don't even look like I'm trying to pass. Wow that that deep! I was only trying to make a point about social gender constructs having their place even if they shouldn't be so strict but I got off into a existential ramble because I probably just need some sleep! Seriously my insomnia has been acting up I haven't slept in days and so I'm a bit hyper and jittery and loopy! sorry sorry about the long ass rant about nothing, I hope some of this makes sense to somebody. I hope somebody understands I was using my own experiences as an example to make a point not just to make it all about me, even if I did vent a bit! FIY just to save any haters some time , derogatory comments will be deleted. If you want to legitimately calmly argue your point of view I'm certainly up for disagreement but if you just start shouting transiphobe shit at me you can't claim I'm the close-minded one for deleting your comment.

[@thedukeofweasels6870]

shmeet You completely misunderstood my point. I'm up for conversation and pretty tolerant when it comes to other people's opinions but I know there's some people that are just so set in their ways you can't argue or reason with them because their only goal is to hate and I'm not going to subject myself to endless arguments where my confidence gets ruffled and I start to appear to be an over-dramatic cry baby so they win. I've tried this before and I am done feeding trolls. If they want to have a legitimate intelligent conversation with me even if there are aggressive and saying things I strongly disagree with I will still try to communicate but if somebody is going to just be completely immature and yell random transphobic shit unrelated to the topic for no reason I'm not going to put up with it. Leaving their comments up there for people to argue with so some sort of debate breaks out it's just giving them the attention they want the more people that try to reason with haters the more the haters can fight back and it just becomes an ugly mess. To be honest I don't care about their opinion it's my right to not care about their opinion I could completely disable comments but I do still want to discuss the actual topic just in a civil manner!

[@shmeet]

theduke ofweasels __Just don't respond to them unless you deem their comment worthy of responding to. Don't worry about "haters" or anyone else who challenges your views/opinions. If yours are more sound and based in logic and reason than theirs, if you believe your argument IS the better argument, then stand behind it. But always be prepared to be wrong too. And to admit it publicly. (Doing so only gains respect from others.) We all can't be right all the time. Right?

[@thedukeofweasels6870]

shmeet exactly what I'm doing! I just don't want to give the truly hateful stuff a place here! it is my comment I have that right I wish my opinion on the topic matter more that one tiny little after thought. Also logic reason and fact don't really enter into it because I only shared my personal opinions and experiences on this topic. Yes I know scientifically I'm right but when dealing with trans issues most people believe they're flaky bullshit and that and that science disproves them. In this situation logic and reason is subjective even if I am right I can't prove it to somebody who doesn't want to acknowledge it and I really don't see a point in trying. I don't want to debate the validity of trans issues I just shared my personal views on what was stated in this video. If I really was going to be an asshole that censors anybody who says anything different than exactly how I feel I wouldn't even be having this conversation and trying to explain myself. I think we have a different definition of the word hater I think that Society uses that term too Loosely these days but when I said hater I basically meant literally hate speech! But again this is my comment I have a right to police and how I see fit and I shouldn't have to justify that to you.

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

What a wonderful comment! Passing is never impossible, by the way, but I do really appreciate the thought that went into this.

[@malwaeve1670]

it's not like we want everyone to not conform to the gender binary, we just want people to accept us and not be judgemental if we choose to do so, not hard but apparently it is for some

[@shaheedawilliam498]

Unacceptable!!!

[@jennifersinclair7249]

I am cisgender, and I like people knowing that I am female. But I still like everything I like and I don't push things away because women historically haven't been interested in them. I like dolls; I love studying the lives of soldiers in combat in Vietnam; I like pink; I like studying WWII; I can't stand fixing my automobile; I also refuse to wear make up ever; BUT I love my long hair. So, it works for me. I hope everyone finds a comfortable place for themselves too.

[@KTR2022]

Jennifer Sinclair, your comment is interesting and I relate to it. It just proves that there are many ways of expressing your gender, you can be "a girly girl" or a "tomboy" or inbetween and still be a girl without having to be non-binary, trans or whatever. I think some people don't get this and authentically label themselves as trans when they don't happen to pursue those interests traditionally assigned to their gender. It could be about gender expression and not gender per si.

[@KTR2022]

@M. E A million dollar question? Our ancestors were able to answer this, that and "what is a woman?" which is the favourite question of every present-day misogynist ....

[@DarknessIsThePath]

Liking something or not has nothing to do with gender, gender cultists literally think everything outside the "norm" is a new gender, ffs they are just interests.

[@powerofthefro]

Ways to intimate your audience: immediately condescend...

[@TheBaldingFish]

Im a boy and I think that aswell, but in gym my teacher says "boys one side girls the other" but I want to go on the girls side, my teacher I dont think will let me though. Btw im at a catholic school.

[@its.cassie]

I find I get more respect with a masculine look/haircut, plus theres less pressure/expectations to look/act a certain way - I can act like me.

[@TheSassi14]

In germany you have to pic a name that reflects your sex. So if your first name is Chris you have to either make it be a full name like Christian (male) or Christina (female). If you want to stick with the short version you need a second name.

[@gavinbowen1308]

Let's start by calling the whole audience unintelligent, Sounds like a perfect opener for a speech! -,-

[@BNL07604]

Yep, it just set a wonderful tone.

[@lauralewis673]

Thought the same!!!

[@Hunter-ow8xc]

Well, if you think about it and listen, he was only really saying that most in the audience LIKELY weren't educated about gender in this way, as we are taught only the basic male and female, unless we put our own research into it, the motivation to research it usually coming from our own experiences.

[@sedona3player]

This was very honest and well spoken! Thanks for informing more people on the subject.

[@FujoshiFandubs]

All these people in the comments not understanding sex and gender are different. Wow.

[@lidiawolska6558]

All these people in the comments not understanding biology.

[@FujoshiFandubs]

Maybe graduate past 3rd grade and read a book on gender psychology.

[@lidiawolska6558]

Open a biology book once in a while.

[@FujoshiFandubs]

Are you just going to repeat yourself? Sex is your chromosomes, gender is your identity.

[@lidiawolska6558]

Nope. Gender is a made up theory. Notice how it doesn't exist among any other animals.

[@realdragon]

It's difference between wearing classic 1500s clothing where you are king of England and wearing dress to look like woman

[@crispygyoza9268]

Kim Kardashian Kim Bodnia Kim Jong Un

[@evag2295]

Amazing talk, bravoo

[@noueruz-zaman7894]

I am the biggest example of gender misunderstanding just by name my name is noor (but those are muslims or from Asia) will image me as a girl (as it is typically named on girls) but I am a guy.

[@percycrawford5659]

I experience two problems similar to this. 1. I have many friends over the internet I identify as a female but I am very masculine so when any of my internet friends find out I am female they are usually surprised. 2. (This does not have to do with gender but is extremely similar) While have many friends over the Internet I also have many friends in real life as well. Most of which are male. I have one friend who is a male and we are very close we talk whenever we can. Because we are so close and are always together people (of course) think we are dating. And even if I tell them we are not they still think we are. So the only way to get them off my back all the time is to tell them I'm a lesbian (I mean at least I don't lie). Then they just give me an awkward look and leave. It's uncomfortable but effective.

[@noueruz-zaman7894]

The UltimateFlopCat FlopCat hmm effective. .

[@vladdracula1631]

Nouer Uz-Zaman Wow,the level of whogiveafuckness just went through the roof with your comment.

[@noueruz-zaman7894]

Vlad Dracula lol...I appreciated and understood her problem because I have one far friend (friend's friend) who experiences similar stuff and what else I could have said ...I choose one side. please word "effective" because that is a very good trick to shut everyone up after saying you are lesbian, no one can say anything or link you with a guy. that's why I just said effective

[@Autumn66614]

i like being referred to as he or she. both sound good to me

[@TheJapieroos]

summary: I, I, I, My, I, Myself, Identity, me, mine, I and I

[@noueruz-zaman7894]

I just like listening to Ted.x videos it just makes more intellectual

[@awesomebawss918]

Nouer Uz-Zaman god damn if this is helping your intellect, I'd hate to know your IQ level PRIOR to watching these videos. O_O

How can we be a civilization if we are unable to agree on the medium by which we communicate? Words are no more than utterances - air forced through the vocal cords and altered as it exits the mouth. Somewhere along the line at least 2 parties agreed that the utterance can be applied to a specific object or concept in the real world. Intelligence mandates that persons articulating various utterances agree that those utterances mean something - expectations. Expectations allow people to better prepare. Proper Preparation produces better outcomes. When utterances have unclear, vague, even ambiguous meanings, it impedes intelligent communications. If chicken is now inclusive of angus beef, then it makes ordering a sandwhich at a fast-food joint more tedious, less precise, more time consuming, and more fustrating when your idea of a chicken is a hamburger to the guy stuffing your bag. Thus, labels, like trademarks, reduce confusion and enhances expectations. The concept of transgender is built upon misinterpretations and foolibg others to believe something that cannot be reality. If a so-called transgender truly believes itself to be the other, then the other must also look like and be it in its unmotivated form. However, to intentionally alter one's self to appear to be the other is proof that the perpetrator is full aware that the perpetrator knows that it is not the other and the purpose of masquerading as the other is to fool the public. If the physiologic and biologic makeup no longer defines what is a girl or a boy, then those utterances are no longer of use, no longer concrete or physical terms, but metaphysical if anything at all. Thus, the person who attempts to physically become what was previously and conventionally considered to be a physical condition but is now a metaphysical condition, such becoming an angel or a leprechaun, displays a delusional state of mind and is striving to physically become something that is no longer physically available to the human organism.

[@transingularity2989]

Till they said they already had "surgery," I was sure Becky was still wearing a binder because of their constant gasping. Now, I don't know why.

[@Emelineeeeeee]

Woaahhh I identify with how they described growing up so much.

[@simone2897]

This is a very good video, the speaker could be a bit better, seems like they weren't entirely prepared to be speaking but regardless I'm glad they did this presentation.

[@lauraholmes9353]

Their confidence is inspiring. They are cute too :)

[@rebekahlikesmusic2723]

She seems like a nice person. Very well spoken. I'd be your friend Beck!

[@calypso6664]

he*

[@Alex-dr6or]

calypso666 they*

[@smileyfdave]

Starts by labelling the audience but "don't label me". Reveals more of the same.

[@TheSassi14]

I watched a video (what would you do) some time ago, where a boy said he wanted to dress as a princess for halloween. Even though he said he didnt like fighting everyone told him to be a pirate, ninja etc. How did noone just say, that he can be a prince? A girl wanting to be spiderman was encouraged more often.

[@kacazarska5579]

Thank you... 💚 this is great topic which should everybody know about and it's sad how little people know about this in reality... I love your video but like other mentioned, not every country does have gender neutral names and you can't use even they/them pronouns because it would break every rule possible in that language... 😢(like in Czech republic, where I live) so that's the sad part about it... but the video is awesome, you are awesome and I'm filled with joy every time TED has video on this topic (or about sexuality) 😊😊

[@beckstrohmer2601]

Thanks for your comment. :-) I just want to clarify that what I meant about names is that they are all gender neutral, it is only the society (time or place) that actually puts a gender on them, same with colors and lots of other things. Therefore, my point is not that people should have gender neutral names or even use gender neutral pronouns (use whatever you are comfortable with), it is more that we should realize that it is society that creates these expectations around the words and therefore tries to define us individually by sticking us in boxes. So I guess what I want to say is that people should just get to know other people and be open to new individuals and their unique identities. And I hope a message of openness and acceptance is something everyone can agree on. :-) Thanks again for watching and for your feedback!

[@AlyssaAlistairBeaupletLM]

Pecky_ _ What do you care so much that you'd want them dead?

[@briajohnson9528]

There is male or female. If you think there are genders other than male or female, you’re delusional.

[@Empty_parking_lot]

Homie being non binary shouldn’t give you a god complex over your audience :///

[@kuroichan101]

Gender is a social construct so how we see what a certain gender clothes are is by what is normal to what gender. This is normal since it create roles and "stability" to a societies.

[@shmeet]

Congrats! You found the word. "ROLES" "Gender ROLES" are socially constructed, not 'gender.'

[@kuroichan101]

shmeet The definition literally says that gender is being a male or a female referring to social or cultural construct not biological ones. The psychology definition refers to it as such too. You are literally arguing with facts. If gender roles are social constructs then if you completely follow the other gender role's then you generally would think of yourself as that gender because thats how you fit in society. Gender : the learned behavior of one's sex. A behavior of a sex is a gender role. www.apa.org/research/action/glossary.aspx?tab=7 Just read a book on psychology.

[@shmeet]

kuroichan101 __"...referring to social or cultural construct not biological ones" - That's not in the definition of gender. No matter how much some modern feminist psychologists want it to be, it isn't. The closest you'll get is this: Websters Gender: a : sex b : the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex

[@kuroichan101]

shmeet Gender:either the male or female division of a species, especially as differentiated by social and cultural roles and behavior: -Dictionary.com Gender:the state of being male or female (typically used with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones): -Oxford Dictionary Gender: the learned behavior of one's sex -Psychological association Gender:the socially constructed views of feminine and masculine behaviour within individual cultural groups. -Dictionary of Sport and Exercise Science and Medicine by Churchill Livingstone © 2008 Elsevier Limited. Gender:the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex -Merriam webster dictionary You are literally arguing against fact Only grammatically is it used meaning sex. Gender is partly biological.

[@shmeet]

kuroichan101 "Gender:either the male or female division of a species, especially as differentiated by social and cultural ROLES and behavior:" "(typically used with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones)" ^that^ is not the same as... "..referring to social or cultural construct *NOT biological* ones" __________________ "Gender:the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex -Merriam webster dictionary Yes, as i stated earlier. But you didn't paste in full. Gender: a : *sex * That's the 1st definition (a), which means 'the most common/correct use of' THEN, after that, the word can sometimes be used as (b)... b : the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex (which still doesn't mean "...NOT biological ones") If there was further uses of the word they would be listed in the order of common/correct usage. Letter (d) would be a definition/context that is hardly ever used. What i see happening is you're taking the less common (b) definition, changing it to mean something else, and then trying to use that as though it was the (a) definition. Changing it to what? To this ""..referring to social or cultural construct *NOT biological* ones" While the whole time what you're really talking about are gender roles, not gender itself. You're trying to conflate the two intentionally. 'Gender roles' are mainly driven by society and its expectations of how males and females should act. Yes, these are learned behaviors or roles. We know this because these roles change from culture to culture. 'Gender' by itself is not a 'role' nor is it a social construct. It's a synonym for "sex".

[@ToenailMongrel]

This is a cool talk. I dig it.

[@darklordoftheuniverse7803]

I really injoyd this video it's really interesting ☺

[@dorotamaciejczak8799]

Powerful talk...

[@ivanbraginski1095]

This is beautiful video

[@radyoaktive6788]

. . self-obsessed and embarrassingly self-conscious .

[@bobchannell3553]

I removed the comment I had put on this some time ago. I still think what I said is true, but having watched this video again, I don't think what I said is really pertinent here.

[@Reiyuza]

4 million subs... gets 2000 views XD

[@wolfy_2184]

Two years later, only 1,500 more views xD

[@mohajani8817]

+Wolfy_ WOW. So true.

[@JesusIsUnstoppable]

That's why propaganda like this is forced on kids in schools because people don't really have this mindset at birth, they have to learn this garbage.

[@Angelparisjordan]

SO true,

[@kxtcxiox]

FUCKING AWESOME I'm sad my view is counted when reading your comment was the best part of the video

[@awesomebawss918]

I identify as a toyota corolla. Well I just said that, but no one is taking me seriously. I hate society saying it isnt okay to be a toyota. Im gonna force the world to conform even though what I said is actually very fucking stupid.

[@izzbell4101]

I hope it doesn't sound like hate, I know it's a sensitive topic, but I really need to point one thing out. The speaker talks about traits assigned to masculinity and femininity as if they were the ones which define a person's gender. But they don't. They are just the most common or dominant traits in particular genders. Being a woman who presents some male characteristics, like relying on your logic rather than emotions or being competitive doesn't make you any less woman or worse than others. Also where should we draw the line? When can I say that I'm neither man or woman rather than man with female characteristics or vice versa? I know that being born a female I will probably never know what's in a non-binary person's mind, but this is why I think we should treat this topic diffrently. Rather than proving that gender is just a social construct why shouldn't we have a talk where a n-b person would talk about their mind in depth? So that I could listen to that and say "wow this person has a mind so diffrent from mine they surely can't fit into a binary gender model" (If there's sth like that, plz link ♥)

[@fluffyfeather39]

the whole point of introducing the concept of masculinity and femininity in this ted talk was to highlight the fact that these are social constructs, but these constructs are very real in the sense that they encourage people to fit inside a box when that's just not possible for everyone to do. there are also biological factors for determining who is male and female, but there ARE exceptions as seen in hermaphrodites, Klinefelter syndrome, and other cases. does any of this really matter aside from satisfying our need to categorize and for order? do you really need an entire talk given by someone detailing how their mind works, what they feel on day to day basis, what they identify as, and so on and so forth, to be able to understand that some people might think differently than what has been traditionally taught and socially accepted? if so, i would recommend a documentary called "is it a boy or a girl?" aired on the discovery channel. it offers some insight into how intersex people feel about their conditions and about how assigning genders at birth sometimes at the cost of losing a functional aspect of them, all to "fit in" society, can have negative effects later on. rather, a lot of intersex people choose to accept who they are without conforming to society

[@wheelyb26]

I wouldn't have started a talk by telling everyone there wrong. Rephrasing might of engaged them more if in the positive

[@mikTomato]

I am a non binary person. But for everyone I am a girl. I have a girl name, and I want to change it. Unfortunately, in my country, I can't. Only one of my friend call me with the name I want.

[@Jwallworth]

Wpennope Yep can I ask why you feel the need to change your name? It’s literally just a label that was given to you at birth?

[@ariannarichardson8792]

Wpennope Yep hello fellow nb person 👊 *fist bump not punching you*

[@bonemeat3917]

You can have a name if your not human

[@bilbobaggins5815]

Being more responsible means cutting body parts off?

[@leilaspiderah5043]

Anyone know a good/cheap place to get a binder? I'm Demi Gender and am looking for a place to start.

[@RONPONpon1]

I've found that there is something very wrong with Becky: Lions don't live in forests

[@CarlsT00]

I'm crying this is so uplifting

[@rx500android]

Thank you. As a non-binary, this is really inspiring! (Any demigirls/demiboys here...? No...? Just me...?)

[@johannesschutz780]

Even today the closing of Louis XIV would be considered very masculine. Obviously totally unfaishonable but still masculine. The criterion for femininity is not dress, it is a specific shape. He acts like gender "assignment" was totally arbitrary but it is clearly not.

[@harmonyqueue]

"So, imagine that you are female-assigned at birth..." OK. So, imagine you are born and the doctor flips a coin to determine what gender will be on your birth certificate. Because that's how that works. Anywhere. In. The. World.

[@katgrrlie]

I was going to add a somewhat critical conflict but when I saw the ones already posted I decided not to bother. It seems people still have serious issues. Just please remember to hold a place for those of us who embrace the idea of binary gender even if it was not the one assigned to us at birth.

[@bilbobaggins5815]

I grew up on a farm. Farm girls aren't girly girls.

[@lyonclaws5737]

I love his bowtie

[@Kasey1208]

No matter how much you try to explain it away you will always be what you were born with. Whether you feel more masculine or feminine, your chromosomes and dna will always be there. I’m sorry if you wish you were something else but those are the facts and they don’t care about your feelings.

[@shmeet]

People are NOT "assigned" their sex/gender at birth. A doctor and the parents might try to have the child's genitalia altered (or not) if it's ambiguous. But this isn't a regular, daily thing. It's a rarity. Sorry but that's the facts.

[@kxtcxiox]

shmeet That's what I say. These people say "gender identity is not your biological equipment" ok so to feel like a man you don't have to have a dick but in the same breath they say doctors ASSIGN gender at birth by looking at genitalia...so what is the problem? if you were born with a dick, calling yourself female doesn't mean you don't have a dick and it's just a way to track peopels. Those two statements are a complete contradiction.

[@kxtcxiox]

shmeet Those two statements are a complete contradiction and it comes from the mouths of the same camp! If gender is not related to you physical body then doctors can not assign anything to you solely based on genitalia

[@kuroichan101]

Gender isn't assigned. It is a social construct or the learned behavior of your sex. It is described like this in psychology.

[@shmeet]

kuroichan101 __Society, parents and all life's experiences absolutely have some sway in determining our behavior. But the underlying core of it is biological in nature. We are not blank slates at birth. This is a ridiculous notion and shouldn't even be entertained other than in "what-if" conversations. Thought experiment: Take a group of female infants and put them on an island with a group of male infants and assure there is no contact with the outer world for say...20 years, then return to the island and observe the results. What you will see is a structured society that looks extremely similar to ours. The males will still be territorial, violent, leaders, food gatherers etc., and the females will still gravitate towards nurturing roles of motherhood and care-giving, submissive, non-violent etc. This should not come as a surprise to anyone. Gender is based in biology. It doesn't need to be taught or learned from society. Those things may try to steer us in certain directions, but these influences have only a limited amount of power to do that.

[@shmeet]

kuroichan101 __"It is a social construct or the learned behavior of your sex." If that was true then gay ppl would not exist. See? If it was a "learned behavior" taught to us by society then everyone would be straight as an arrow. The 'social construct' in the US would be John Wayne and Marilyn Monroe, or something similar. The two extreme ends of gender. That means that all the gay, transgender etc. out there would not, AND COULD NOT, exist because they don't fit into the classic construct that society, according to some, is responsible for forcing upon every one of us. Either ever person is straight, as "dictated" by the "social construct" of what is "normal", OR gender is biological in nature and ONLY _influenced_ by society. Take your pick. Those are the choices.

[@bobchannell3553]

Why are they clapping when he said f**k?

[@kxtcxiox]

"becky"......fml

[@alexarmanto6016]

0:26 *inserts entire hindi language like th water is a guy and sweets are girls? and wth do u call non binary ppl in this language like i don't know how to address my friends while talking in hindi to them

[@megasauruss]

What the hell even is the comment section?

[@dddgoal10]

You got the wrong terms. If you want to dress a certain way, go ahead. Do it, you're free to do it and people should not judge you. If you want to live a certain way, have a certain job, go ahead, do what makes you happy, no one has the right to discriminate you against. But regardless, that is not what makes you a male or a woman. You're not a he, you're a she. You can't expect people to pretend to play the game that's within your mind where you happen to identify as a man, because being a man DOESN'T mean wearing certain clothes, doesn't mean having certain roles society expects on you. Being a man is something YOU'RE BORN WITH, it's in your DNA, in your genes, your whole biology.

[@sollv9787]

Someone's got triggered.

[@wcsxwcsx]

Still so conflicted.

[@agnesfonmarten]

thirty-two? how old is this human?

[@TheSassi14]

Why would the parents want him to wear a dress?

[@TheSassi14]

Oh, wait now I get it, he is biologically a she

[@awesomebawss918]

TheSassi42 I dont see a guy in this video? what are you talking about?

[@user-io2zo1ir9r]

I still don't see how displaying non-stereotypical traits and characteristics translates to being a whole other gender though

[@mason9627]

I can’t we’re this coz how he is breathing in the mic

[@mohajani8817]

This is beautiful. And SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TRUE.

[@The112Windows]

You sound like an imbecile you know?

[@cherriesrule13]

what a bomb bow-tie =)

[@patricia1104]

I have to do a speech about gender and oh god

[@TanookiAlex]

good luck

[@DjVortex-w]

"You don't define me"? That's right. But you don't either. _Reality_ defines you, not what you think or feel. Feels don't make reality. You can argue all day long about it, but in the end, reality doesn't change just because you think something. Thoughts do not define reality.

[@demianall4519]

WarpRulez well certainly, you create your own personal reality with your emotions or feelings, so reality as we think its only a proyection or an hologram of our deepest selves, and excuse me, but humans are not robots programmed by nature or reality, we can modified everything we want as long as we have self consciousness about ourselves.

[@DjVortex-w]

If you feel you are something that you aren't, it's all in your head. It's just your thoughts. It's just neuron connections in your brain, and synapses firing. Your thoughts and feelings have no effect in reality. The only effect in reality that you have are the physical things you do, your physical interaction with the real world. You can really, really have the deep strong feeling that you are actually a wolf, but that doesn't make you a wolf. It's all in your head. Reality doesn't care what your brain synapses are making you think. No matter how strongly your synapses are telling you that you are a wolf, that doesn't make it so.

[@curtisking5138]

WarpRulez : The live in an imaginary world of "feel"because the are so programmed. "You can be whatever you want to be" is the mantra with which they are hypnotised! You may or may not be familiar with the mantra in that form, but you may have heard "do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law"!

[@DjVortex-w]

It's part of what's called the modern "postmodernist" ideology. "Modernism" is defined, roughly, as the significant change in the scientific method, the way to think of science and how it approaches the subject of determining how the universe works. It started in the so-called Age of Enlightenment, and was marked by the rejection and total separation from religion and philosophy. Prior to that, all three things were considered part of the same, but in that era science separated itself from religion, and became evidence-based and fact-based, and started requiring observation, measurement and testing before making any conclusions (which was pretty much a reversal of what it was prior). Only observable and measurable facts were what mattered, not presuppositions nor feelings. ("Modernism" also encompasses the change in politics that happened during about those same times, where royalty, nobility and all inherited forms of government were phased out, and replaced with representative democracy. The government was elected by people, from among the people. But that's a different subject.) Postmodernism, however, is a strange and bizarre new ideology. It can be summarized as "all truth is relative", which is almost its motto. No longer is truth and facts determined by what can be observed, measured or tested, but my truth may be different from your truth, and we all shape reality according to our feelings. If I feel that I'm my own gender, that makes it so. It doesn't matter what some measurement device says. It's a very bizarre anti-science ideology that's for some strange reason gaining a lot of traction, especially among social justice warriors.

[@vserrall]

7million subs..... Only 27k veiws People just can't deal with gender Edit: But seriously, get your thoughts organized...

[@trishash79]

2 years later, 13 million subs, 70K views & gender is still biological. Nothing has changed.

[@dklk734]

I relate to this Ted talk very much

[@micchekL]

Ok I live in New Zealand and I can't speak for everyone in my country but for me and my network of friends and family etc this is not a thing that we care about. Be whatever you want cause nobody cares we have real world shit to worry about like work money rent food etc rather than what pro noun you want to be known as.

[@Hannah11235]

This is so ridiculous 😂 "look, men and women have the name 'Kim' thus biology, chromosomes, and hormones produced from such things doesn't matter". Imagine believing this

[@yelamankarassay]

I agree

[@bilbobaggins5815]

Way to open a talk .... I'm smarter than you.....😎

[@maryistulsafox]

Oh my God oh my God he's got it

[@peterstill3760]

Way to face reality...not.

[@arilarz5679]

I'm gender fluid

[@ariannarichardson8792]

Same

[@R1tu4lz]

Randomuser 549 apparently they do care because this comment got 8 likes

[@Daniel_Zdroba]

whopping 8 people wow

[@annon9368]

You are a narcissist.

[@manuelxops]

You dont understand the topic, neither you do understand what gender is

[@misanthropicchara6661]

This person talks just like me. I love them.

[@subins47]

Your Definition of yourself doesn't matter to the world. It matters only for you. You are already depending on others,to a point that you need them to accept your definition of yourself.

[@omnichrome9784]

Yay!

[@GrassTurtle]

We may not define you, but your genes do. You can't just go around saying your age, height, width, is different just because you say it is. Now I'm not against the whole trans community and all that jazz, but I'm definitely not for the way they explain it. You're not what you are because you say you are. You can want to be something, but to say you're something other than what you are isn't being truthful to who you are as a person, it's you lying to yourself. If you want to be a girl, act like one, talk like one, live like one, you can do that; but that doesn't mean you are one. Now again, I'm not judging anyone identifying like that or anything along those lines, I just don't feel that it's okay to change yourself because you don't like who you are or don't think you're who you're meant to be. You were born the way you are because that's how you were meant to be, you were chosen out of millions of cells who could've been over you, but you against every other odd was born, and you were born because you were meant to be on this earth just the way you are. I'm sorry if any of this came across as offensive or abrasive, I just wanted to get my opinion on the subject out there.

[@catsgomurrow]

It's an interesting talk, but it just seems to be repetitive "gender changes based on culture". I mean, yea, that's kinda how it's all defined

[@watsufizzi]

Dude gender refers to your body parts, not how you act, who you like, or what you wear. How is that hard to understand?

[@tedcantu1]

nice bow tie...... blah

[@TheCompleteGuitarist]

Pure... look at me I'm so important and I love that you can't define me. More important things to get on with than this. I don't care that you are so concerned with what people think about you. I'm concerned with how can I have a family, which I have, and what do I need to look after my family in terms of life experiences, education and resources such as food and clothes. Get over yourself.

[@sox6225]

Ye. And I’m sure Henry the eight wouldn’t say he’s a woman. There is two genders ....... PICK ONE.