ARE YOU MAKING THIS MONTESSORI SHELF MISTAKE?! | Montessori At Home Shelf Setup Mistake to Avoid!

[@ronjab4586]

When we first started Montessori activities with our now 27 month old around when she was 9 months old, I was following all those recommendations to present materials undone and there was just never really true engagement with any materials during that time. Oh all those baskets I gathered during that time 😆 I noticed that our daughter just didn't seem to understand what to do with the materials - she is a very hands on figuring out kind of kid, never interested in observing how something is done, always preferring to explore herself how it is done instead. So I started presenting everything done around 16 months old and it was such a huge difference immediately. She was simply in a stage where she preferred taking everything apart. The interest of putting it back together only came a couple months later. Around 23 months, that actually shifted and especially with puzzles that have the pictures underneath, she is now more engaged, when they are presented undone. And it makes perfect sense since she generally entered a phase around that time where she wants to put everything where it belongs. I actually had to stop any rotation since she would get upset when things were not where they are supposed to be - would be interesting if you can find any take on this and how to deal with keeping a child engaged with different materials who has such a strong sense of order, that everything needs to stay exactly where it is. I started handing her a small basket with new material that I take away after a couple days when she loses interest and leave our shelfs untouched with open ended options plus a couple all time favorite materials. Our whole toy rotation system fell apart 😆 Anyway, the number one thing I took from Montessori and what I live by in everything I do with my kids is "follow the child" (unless it is Hygiene related or a matter of safety 😉 ). To me it's the most powerful quote and defines our parenting style completely.

[@MariaandMontessori]

Oh the baskets...there are far too many baskets in this home now as well! Does she have open-ended/art/music toys rotated in on her shelf as well, or are they in a separate area? And does she continue to use the items that are on her shelf, or is she ignoring them but then also upset when they're gone?

[@ronjab4586]

@@MariaandMontessori Half her items that are out on the shelf were always open-ended. Thankfully, I stopped rotatating those a while ago since she constantly uses them (figures, vehicles, scarves, dress up, balls, different types of blocks). She also has a basket with musical instruments and a table for art material. I used to roate items in both but she gets upset now when I do, so both areas are now overflowing with too many options 🤷‍♀️ But she uses them all, and gets upset when something is not there and wants exactly that. The major "problem zone" however is the half of the shelf with materials that I used to rotate whenever she stopped using something for roughly a week or longer - that part of the shelf has essentially all typical Montessori activities plus some puzzles. Except for 2 favorites that have been on there forever and which she still uses, she doesn't touch the any of the other materials but doesn't want them gone either. Hence, currently the basket once per week in which I provide her with one or two activities, which I usually would have exchanged something on the shelf for. Oh and the books - she had the same 30 books out over months now since she doesn't want me to rotate any, but only reading 5 she is actually interested in 🤷‍♀️ So I also try to add one or two other books in that basket with weekly activities. We'll see how long that works until she thinks it needs to be the same all the time 🤦‍♀️ But her sense of order is definitely a nice thing. She is constantly cleaning up, tidying up, throwing trash away, washing, etc 😉 it's the funniest thing when my husband leaves something out and she reprimands him 😆

[@MariaandMontessori]

I too am reprimanded if I dare vacuum just one of the rugs or sweep in only part of the house- it's all or nothing here! 🤣 I've been thinking-have you tried including her in the toy rotation process as an option? Or offering her to keep one of the items she really enjoyed from that basket and then showing her how there's not a spot on her shelf, so we need to swap them, and showing her where it will be stored until then? Or doing a bit of a "spring cleaning" where everything is taken down, you wipe it together, and then she picks from a selection which ones she'd like to keep? I've unintentionally done variations of these while sorting through out of rotation items myself and Stella has always really enjoyed the works she had picked out in this process. I wonder if maybe having control over taking those items into storage and seeing that she can use an exciting item for longer would intrigue her more? The same for the books. If she likes one and asks you to look at it again, something along the lines of "I'd love to keep it on the shelf for you to look at, but there's no space with all these books. Which one can we put back in our main library for now instead?" I don't think there's anything wrong with your current system either tho. The classroom's materials don't get rotated (aside from art/practical life) and I feel it makes sense that her super strong sense of order is here as she nears 3. I'm currently only allowed to wear some very specific combinations of pants and sweaters apparently, and I remember my mom wasn't allowed to have short sleeves on because it bothered my brother as a toddler (right around 29 months actually!). So she's got company in the strong sense of order department!

[@ronjab4586]

@@MariaandMontessori I've always included her in the toy rotation. In fact, toy rotation wasn't working for us until she was the one deciding what to get out - made a huge change and she started actually playing with toys. But I never considered including her in deciding what to take away. I'll definitely try that. If there is one thing she loves more than order, it's doing things "all by herself" 😆 The sense of order definitely also touches all other areas here 😆 I always need to be careful where I place something (e.g. a broom or kitchen item) or how I introduce something (e.g. how to do a certain cleaning task, how to throw clothes in the hamper, how to wash a foo item, etc) because there is no going back - from that moment on, there are no changes allowed and it needs to be done exactly like tagt first time or there will be a HUGE tantrum 😊 Thank you for your suggestion

[@mixed_and_nerdy]

Fantastic video AS ALWAYS. That’s so interesting how kids view it and are more interested when it’s already done. Will definitely be trying this out!

[@MariaandMontessori]

Thank you!! 🥺🥺🥺 I'm glad to hear you have time for activities with baby girl here now 😅

[@hannahparker9686]

I absolutely loved this! So brilliant.

[@MariaandMontessori]

Thank you so much ❤️

[@Prisclittle]

Makes SO much sense. When my son was around 6-7 months I set the puzzles out done. I later noticed that people were presenting them undone so I started doing that this about two months ago. My son spends no time with them! I switched out the kinds of puzzles thinking that that was the issue. Time to go back to presenting them done. Why didn’t I think of this?!! Lol

[@MariaandMontessori]

Groupthink is a powerful thing!! I'm so happy this video is helping so many have that "aha!" moment!!

[@2012nursetobe]

Love this! On an unrelated note... I think you've mentioned that your mom used to run a more conventional daycare and now runs a Montessori school. Do you think she'd be willing to come on and do a Q&A with you at some point? I can't afford Montessori schools in our area (they are outrageously expensive and with the hours Id also need a nanny on top of the school), but Id love to hear her take on what Montessori style materials and attitudes would be best to supplement at home for our daughter and what might be really confusing (for example I often think of how in Montessori they introduce letter sounds before names and I know that won't be the case in her school).

[@MariaandMontessori]

Very interesting question! I'll discuss with her and see if she's got a moment in the near future for a Q&A or to record with me. They're heading into busy season at school (tho it's rarely NOT busy on her end) so I'll have to see what's possible and if she's comfortable being on camera🤔

[@hollyhill22]

You made so many good points in this video! I’m going to put out some puzzles (one done and the other undone) and see which one my son gravitates to more!

[@MariaandMontessori]

Ooh love this idea! 🙌

[@reiansandiford]

Such a great video! I figured this out by observing my son. As a result I’ve always presented puzzles done because he seemed to be the most engaged with taking things out and THEN putting it back in but I’m going to be honest I kept beating myself up about not doing it the right way and I kept feeling that I had to fix what I was doing and I wondered if I was slowing his development by presenting activities in this way. I am so grateful to get some confirmation that I’m not doing it wrong. Please keep doing these!!!!’

[@MariaandMontessori]

Aw I'm so glad this gave you the confirmation you needed! When in doubt, trust your gut and your child is right 🥰 I promise, even if Dr. Montessori herself wouldn't do something the way you do, but it led to a happy and engaged child, she'd back you up 100%. I've done a Montessori misconceptions video in the past but I may look into what else is out there to discuss 🧐 If anything in particular is of interest, let me know!

[@TaraWilloughby]

This is a great video! This video really shows how important it is to follow the child. I've fallen into the thinking of "everything has to be presented undone", but I did realized about 6 months ago that this wasn't working for all of our activities. We have a hide-and-seek puzzle that. my kids love, but they only play with it when it is presented complete. They like to take the pieces out themselves and then put them back in. Thank you for reaching out to Simone to clarify. Previously I understood it as the Primary classes didn't present things undone, but I thought it was common practice in the toddler classroom. I'm going to observe my son's toddler class next week and I'm excited to see how things are presented in his class!

[@MariaandMontessori]

Thank you! Will be very interested to hear what his class has set up!

[@skrcmama]

Definitely! For the longest time my 4th was in the shema of taking it apart then walking away until the second I out it back 🤪

[@MariaandMontessori]

🤣 hahaha oh my does that sound familiar! 🤣

[@anairismembradoarias5983]

I observed the same with my daughter. After I started to present the work done, she interacted more with the activities. Now it's a mix of done and undone activities. For example, with puzzles, as she masters the activity, she prefers to see the puzzle done, take it apart, and try to put it together herself. But after mastering it, she is more inclined to interact with the puzzle if I present it with the pieces in a basket, is more like I know where this pieces go let’s put it in their place.

[@MariaandMontessori]

Love it! Following her and adjusting the material to fit her needs 🥰

[@melody_shmelody]

Thank you!!! I am going to try this as soon as I get home! My son is NOT attracted to items on the shelf except musical instruments but I have been presenting them and storing them undone. Oops!

[@MariaandMontessori]

Oooh so many ideas here but I wonder if that will be a change in the right direction! Or if you've got a budding musician!

[@jackieshomechildcarespace9822]

Thks so much!!! That does make sense…

[@MariaandMontessori]

So glad to hear that!

[@priyageorge435]

Great video..I also have noticed to my astonishment that when the pieces of the activities are done, it becomes more enticing to the child. Meanwhile a question, what is the Montessori aspect of a child responding to questions while he/she is focused on something, for example, asking questions like 'have you seen this' or 'do you want x or y for dinner' and the child is focused on something that he is intrinsically working on. Is it inappropriate to interrupt or how should we go about it if we need an answer. Thank you.

[@MariaandMontessori]

Thank you! In general, yes, it is best to allow the child to finish that moment of concentration without being interrupted. This is not only out of respect for the work that they are doing, but also because they will likely not be able to re-focus once we break that concentration. Being able to focus and concentrate is also a skill that requires practice-the more we allow moments of uninterrupted work, the more the child has a chance to practice. Whereas if we're coming in to praise, offer our own insight, or ask an unrelated question, we're limiting their ability to practice longer stretches of concentration. With that said, obviously it's not possible to always navigate around the child's moments of concentration and wait for them to finish, but considering that their focus is usually only a few minutes, I strongly strongly encourage keeping that in mind and trying to resolve questions like what they'd like for dinner or whether they'd like to join you for snack for moments when they've broken that concentration-when they're done with the work or they're moving from this activity to the next. I ask Stella what she'd like for breakfast as we come downstairs, before she heads into her play room, for example, and we may discuss dinner during her afternoon snack. If you're trying to show something, I'd do it at a time that they're not working on something as an invitation to join you. If they are already working and you think there's something interesting to show related to their current work, wait for that moment when they look up to you or look up to rest their eyes, and then offer a "have you seen this?" I always circle back to "How would I feel if someone did this to me?" In my corporate past, my cubicle was at the intersection of our aide's desk, the coffee machine, my director, and our DVP. There was chatter there at all times, and my role dealt with many departments, meaning everyone always had something to ask, so I was being interrupted from my work all the time. And it became very frustrating because each time it took longer and longer to find my groove again and remember what I was processing in my head. Our child's play is much more similar to our jobs than it is to our own hobbies-if we are interrupted from leisurely reading, we just jump right back to the sentence we stopped at. But when we are deep into resolving an issue or figuring out a problem, that interruption can throw everything off. For a child who is still figuring out everything about the world, this is exactly how it feels when we jump in!

[@priyageorge435]

Thank you so much Maria for taking time to respond to this question. I can so much relate to the corporate example you mentioned as I've been there a 100 times..lol.. I'm going to keep these tips in mind and encourage other family members as well to respect the child's work and hopefully this helps reduce the frequency of interruptions and there by achieve an increase in attention span Thanks again!

[@justFreya5]

What I'm trying to figure out rn is what kind of shelfs I want. I want to get 2 of the same thing because I have 2 kids different ages

[@MariaandMontessori]

The Kallax type shelf like we have is good for that visual cue of "everything in its place" but is more limiting in how many items you can put & their size. When they're just crawling, you can really only use the button 4 but when they're older, you can utilize the top as extra space. A true open shelf like what we have in the music and art area now gives you more freedom of how many or few items you put out and would better house some of the larger materials. But you may end up with items pit back all on one side without that visual cue of the cubes. In a class though, they ARE the truly open type of shelves and kids do learn how to put things back! We already had the Kallax so we were repurposing it

[@jeanespejo867]

I always wonder why people put it basket I have a brain of a toddler 😅I notice that too it bothers me I’m neat freak so I set my toddler toys beautifully till she mess it up then one time I said no not gana clean it up to lazy she didn’t play with it or touch it

[@MariaandMontessori]

Yes! That's exactly it!!!!