Are You Questioning if You Should Transition?

Should you transition? You may be asking yourself whether transition is even worth it.
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Hello Friends! I'm Dr Z, and this is a channel where I help you break free from dysphoria!
I am a clinical psychologist specializing in the transgender field, working with adults only. For the past 18 years, my work has focused on Gender Dysphoria and the formation of gender identity. I provide online therapy for residents of California, New York, Texas, and Florida. My pronouns are she/her, and you can visit my website for more info at drzphd.com/abo...
👉NOTE: I work solely with adults, and all video content is marked for adults only. As such, the information shared is based on my experience working with adults only.
DISCLAIMER: Note that as a clinical psychologist, I created this channel to share information. Therefore, I won't be providing or offering therapeutic advice. I am also not a medical doctor. When I speak on medical issues such as hormones or surgical procedures, the goal is to share information and not to provide medical advice, and you should always consult with your medical doctor. Additionally, this channel is for those seeking information and understanding and to gain awareness.
#gender #genderdysphoria #transgender #nonbinary #genderidentity #gendertransition #gendertherapist #transhealth #transgenderwomen #transmann #enby #hormones #dysphoria #selfhelp #transformation

[@sophieweddell2409]

After years of counseling my councilor asked me this question 'Do you think you would be happier and more comfortable in yourself if you had been born female? I instantly cried out yes 100% and felt this overwhelming sense of relief from just answering that question. She then got me to imagine living my life as a woman and it gave me so much joy to do so. At that point it was clear to me that my true gender is female :) It took a lot of soul searching with my councilor for me to reach that point as my true gender and self had been deeply suppressed through years and years of bullying and relentless social conditioning to behave and present as the Gender I was assigned at birth. When I started counseling it was for low self esteem and anxiety. I now know that both these symptoms were rooted in Gender Dysphoria and the actions of others pushing and encouraging me to be a man that I'm not.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@Whatdoiwritehere8]

This got me

[@waddledottz]

i started transition therapy last friday, and i'm feeling so good since, i'm just affraid i'm not gonna be a pretty woman

[@nourzakiofficial]

same /:

[@hershmysson]

how's it going os far?

[@waddledottz]

@@hershmysson My tits hurt a LOT, and the pain is worse since i have nipple piercigs, i'm doing pretty good

[@_Raven_]

You are braver than I am, and I hope I have the strength to follow your lead soon

[@waddledottz]

@Joey Tipan i was 20, i'm now 21, ive been transition for like 6 months and in hormone therapy for about 4 and a half months, the boob and nipple pain was HORRIBLE during the first two months but now is bearable, just a little anoying some days, i'm a lot fatter, i was really skinny and now i have a curvier body, i really like it, but i'm about the same weight, just like 2 kg heavier because ive been eating a lot.

[@natachaedsell]

As someone who was gender non conforming for over a decade and who's dysphoria was primarily physical, trying testosterone at a low dose to see how I feel was an important step for me to confirm my desire to transition. Of course, I did this with a therapist and in a safe way with my endocrinologist. I also explored in other ways for 4 months before starting HRT.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and it seems that trying T has helped you realized what you need. This often happens to non binary identified people because you often dont think medical transition is for you. Glad it was done in a safe, exploratory way.

[@francescajensen7733]

Hi Dr. Z! I am someone who never had a problem with Gender identity. I have known I was really a girl at a very young age and have a specific memory of an event in which I already knew. I have no memory of not knowing and my memories go back to when I was a year and a half old (I was born in 1957). I chose to hide for six decades and was planning to take my secret to the grave. I was never in denial that I was trans but was in denial that it was important. I reached a point at which I just couldn't hide anymore, came out, and promptly lost everything. I started HRT shortly afterward. It was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I have never had any doubts to what I am, not even the slightest. This is why I don't like the term "Gender Identity" - my sense of self is strong, innate, always has been and it's so much more than just an identity ... it's me. Much love! 🤗🥰😘💋❤❤❤💃💞

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and in many regards I also dont like the term gender identity or preferred/desired gender as I strongly feel it is deep at the core of each of us from the birth.

[@fr7nkie]

for me I feel like adding the word identity to the mix is useless, you could just say gender, you know? And it irks me that cis people use gender for themselves but when it comes to transgender people it is a "gender identity". Also this is a lil funny, my government name is your name LOL. trans solidarity! It suits you much better :)

[@Ainator_]

@@fr7nkie exactly

[@Ainator_]

@@fr7nkie because if you put identity people are like "oh yeah and I identity as an helicopter"

[@osbaldolara5615]

I absolutely agree . I am in the begining stages of my social transition and even that needs more reaserch and help . Let alone phisical

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@Aninha2430]

I first came out to my parents 2 years ago. At the time I was forced out of the closet, wasn't ready to come out yet and neither were them to accept a trans child. About two months ago I had a very emotional conversation with my stepmother and after it, I asked my immediate family to start calling me by my social name and pronouns. It has been great so far but right now, as I start to look into starting HRT and having top surgery, I start having doubts and it feels like questioning my gender for the first time all over again. I also happened to run into the video of someone who is detransiotioning and that made me even more scared: what if, well into my transition, like 6 years or so after I've started it, I stop for a moment and say, "actually, I regret this. I wanna go back". And it's so crazy to me because for the last two years I've been growing more and more depressed for the fact that my body is biologically female and that people perceive me that way but now that I finally get the chance to change that I am... scared?? Like, I don't even know what to do or what to feel at this point.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am sorry to hear. Best to seek support of a therapist in your area.

[@3bah4y]

Hey! Have you transitioned? If that’s okay with you to answer

[@Aninha2430]

@@3bah4y Yeah, sure. Turns out that I am not a trans man and changing my body to fit a more masculine shape didn't sit right with me bc of that. But I've come to the conclusion that I'm non-binary. But as of now I'm okay with how body is and have no plans towards transitioning.

[@3bah4y]

@@Aninha2430 that’s great! Glad you’re okay. Thanks for sharing!

[@DenvaProbablyDraws]

Thank you for making this video, this was the final straw for me in my decisions. I think I’m going to wait a week or two, and then try to start a social transition to see how I feel. I was extremely afraid of the idea of medically transitioning, because if I don’t actually like it then… there’s almost no way of going back. However, the thought of just cutting my hair, asking my supportive online friends to call me he/him, and possibly wearing a binder is incredibly appealing to me, and I honestly hope it makes me feel better. You’re great, thanks again.

[@DRZPHD]

Go for it. Social transition is often necessary and a great safe step.

[@shawnorrific]

I actually had a lot of doubt until I started hormones. As soon as I did the first injection, I would say 90% of my doubt/fear melted away.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing!

[@Honest-joe]

Can you do a video on Gender Dysphoria VS Body Dysmorphia? My friend is going through some issues and aren't sure which of the two they're having so I feel like it'd be really beneficial :)

[@DRZPHD]

Yes! Its coming up soon.

[@commentsiguess1263]

You can have both too. :)))))

[@christiewoods325]

Thank You Dr Z, Looking back at my transition after reviewing your video I would say I need more time in social settings as my preferred gender. That being said I don't think I have rushed into HRT. At age 60 and retired I feel it isn't as much of a social risk. I was ready. I am happy with the choice and the changes it has brought me. Hugs! Christie

[@DRZPHD]

That’s so great to hear!

[@rodolfogalvan2823]

Hi! I star whacking your videos 2 years ago! Thanks for so much info the help me with my decision and transition from MTF at my 53 year old to day 55 years old! I went to do the yo-yo action which took me back to my HRT in less than one month and again 15 days 10 days ! And every time I go back to my HRT! I know that I need my transition! Because I older and need to be happy ! Thanks Dr Z for all the excelente work you do helping are group !

[@DRZPHD]

You are most welcome.

[@dangerousdinosaur1640]

I came out to a few more friends and cut my hair short!! Taking more steps with discovering myself. My friends often a refers to me as “Nol” or “Nolan”, which makes me so much happier. Ever since I cut my hair “boy short”, I feel much better, I can look into the mirror with more confidence. I recognised myself, it was like how I always thought I should have looked like. I think I’m going to get a chest binder soon. Since things have been affirming:)) (This can be difficult since my family knows nothing yet) Great videos as always Dr! Thank you

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@LeahT6317]

As someone who is in the process of transitioning I agree 100% I also think you need to be a point where you plan for worst and hope for the best. Things like will I keep my job, will I lose family and friends etc.. This is why it's important to have some kind of support and a good health provider if you can afford it. I know a few DIYers who are looking on line for medical help online versus going to see a professional. I feel most would under go transition in a heartbeat if they didn't have to worry about those thing but in reality you do. Last I think a lot of people need to realize that went you start the HRT part of your transition if you choose to began medical transition your changes will take time and besides surgery you can't speed things up. I'm sure you seen post of people being unhappy because it's been 3 months and they don't have curves or a B cup yet! Any way great advice always look forward to your new content I've been able to take away a few good points every time I view your videos.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I agree, people need to take their time with HRT and surgical transition. Especially HRT can take up to 3 years to show full results.

[@EstrodiolFairy]

The decision to transition ultimately came down to could I handle the negative consequences. I got to a point in my life where I didn't care what other people think, I'm happy alone or with others, and living with less dysphoria was definitely definitely definitely something I wanted

[@Journey-of-1000-Miles]

The social transition is the most frightening.

[@DRZPHD]

Yes, it can be but it is also the most helpful toward self affirmation.

[@Journey-of-1000-Miles]

@@DRZPHD I just change my channel name from MrBlindcrow to this one. I wanted to let you know.

[@simplyselena7]

I’m currently 31. Your videos helped me a lot back in 2020. looking back through my childhood I felt I was a girl trapped with a boys face since elementary And since I thought I couldn’t change I did my best to be what everyone saw. In 2018 I found out transitioning was possible and i instantly wanted to transition. I was scared for my family or what society would do to me . so I ignored it for two more years . During quarantine i was tired of crying to sleep and having depression so I transitioned socially. I felt alive and mentally healthy . Huge difference from always day dreaming i was a woman. So after a while I ended up having transphobia and self transphobia since I would google before and after pics of other trans people . it’s not how I viewed myself so I de transitioned . I missed having that attraction to the stranger in the mirror . I Even cut my hair short again. But The first glance at my reflection and my mind felt like it was going to explode. I started crying . It’s not what I wanted to see. Total difference of the euphoria I felt before . I tried living as a guy again for a week and i stopped . I felt like I was lying to everyone that I’m a guy . So I started again. I feel my most confident when I look like a complete woman two years later . I feel devastated seeing a man in a wig after a while so I know it’s time for hrt. It’s getting harder and harder. When I put my hair up and I look like a femine guy it makes I feel awkward and ashamed people are seeing someone that doesn’t represent who I am or want to be .

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@mikakauro6446]

I think exactly a lot about this topic. And I started to slow down myself because I tended to rush into something. I think it is not about the effects on my body but more about the social stuff that might happen.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing. Nothing wrong with slowing down.

[@newbeginning3568]

Happy new year Dr Z ❤🎉😊 thank you for everything you do for the community

[@parkerellis5716]

I've struggled with this for years now. I grew up with only sisters no brothers. My dad was gone literally half the time at work, so most of my time I was around women. I came out as pansexual 2 years ago and it didn't go well with my family being Christians. They told me I was confused but I knew it I wasn't making a mistake I've had sexual relations with variety of people. More than half of my time I think about being a woman. I just want to be sure about who I am and be happy. I want to be confident about my identity when I look in the mirror but the only thing I recognize as my own are my hazel eyes.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@benlucius4273]

I'm living as a (trans) guy for like 3-4 years (also I guess my passings really good, so I don't get misgendered that much). I was always pretty sure that this was the right way (also I have dysphoria), I've been seeing a therapist for 5 years and know, where I can finally start HRT, I have so many doubts, also about if I am really trans. (It also could be caused by some people telling me, nobody will ever love- or even like me, when I start HRT)

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry to hear.

[@hatsumiyo6915]

Thank you SO MUCH for this video. So straight forward and useful. Bless you doctor Z!!

[@DRZPHD]

Glad it resonated.

[@mellisalopez4903]

I’ve been dressing more masculine lately and that’s when I feel more confident. I have issues with wearing men clothing because of my breast and hips. That’s when i get frustrated and incomplete like i can’t really look how I want to. I am struggling to figure out what i truly want and what’s right for me but just dressing more masculine or coming off more masculine isn’t enough because i don’t feel complete.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@tapptapp123]

i'm at a similar point. i really like wearing masculine cloths and yes, it gives me more confidence too. but at the same time it is so frustrating because again and again it shows me that my body isn't 'right' for this typ of clothing because of these stupid curves. but i think it's also a sign that it's not a problem that can be solved with masculine presentation, but that it lies somewhere deeper

[@uwu.4175]

I've been thinking about transitioning for about half a year now, but trying new haircuts or pronouns seems impossible to me. I'm still a teenager, but I had to grow up pretty fast. my parents are complicated, that made it kind of difficult for me to make people take me seriously, and to take my own inexperience normally without feeling ashamed. it's really difficult, but every time I think about being a male I feel happier. like I'm relieved. it just feels right, and I fit in with that image I have in my head of myself. finally. I'd like to try. - I'm sorry for my english 🙇🏻

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am sorry to hear of your struggles. Your English is great by the way.

[@KiraCatsoup]

You telling me i should wait makes me want to transition more. I guess that means I am sure what I want. At this point I am just scared.

[@DRZPHD]

Wishing you all the best.

[@sessaly7197]

I´m biologically male and consider myself nonbinary or gender fluid. I don't want to transition or live as a woman, but I would like to undergo facial feminization surgery to have a more feminine face. It would really help me to gain more confidence to wear makeup and dress more feminine in public. Is that a valid plan?

[@DRZPHD]

Yes! Both nonbinary and transgender people can decided which part of transition is for YOU! If you only feel you need feminizing surgery, thats valid. Do what you feel needs to be done to affirm your gender.

[@sessaly7197]

@@DRZPHD Thanks for the answer!

[@g.goodrich9216]

Yes!

[@zeng58]

I’ve been doing this and really love my female side a lot it helps me keep

[@DRZPHD]

Glad to hear.

[@andsmeist]

this was amazing and so straight to the point. you’ve been instrumental in my journey as a trans womxn, i appreciate so much the knowledge you share. 🙏🏼💕💕thank you from the bottom of my heart

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you so much and I am glad I am able to help!

[@JoRosieQueen68]

I believe it's good to take it easy and to transition at you own pace, like, there can be people who are intersex, they are more feminine by default, and, even though they are not passable out of the box, they might want to just maintain themselves at that point of development or to just feminise themselves only a bit, if they are non binary, the more time it can take them to find their place of equilibrium, there's enby/non binary people who don't take hormones, others that take 'em one month yes the other month no, there's people that microdose hormones and then there's people who, no matter if they were intersex or not, ended up transitioning completely even though they are enby and only go out dressed in a masculine fashion, acting in masculine ways only a portion of time, others may feel better being a butch lesbian or whatever etc, it comes down to that sex lasagna interpretation that you mentioned in earlier videos, quite awesome interpretation, thank you for the amazing content Dr. Z ^^

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and for pointing out that transition is incredibly personal and which parts you decided to undertake and for how long is up to you.

[@xboxandplaystationgamer2004]

Great video Dr z Love your channel

[@DRZPHD]

Much appreciated.

[@xboxandplaystationgamer2004]

@@DRZPHD Is there way to have 1 on 1 chat with u or is you tube better for you

[@sarahme4853]

How do I explore my gender identity then? I´m afab, dressing and presenting "masculine". I feel like this uncertainty is part of my personality. I don´t know how else to explore. The only thing would be to try a different name but I struggle with queer impostor syndrome so hard. I can´t really take myself seriously when I try a different name. I´m at a point where I think that time alone won´t do its thing for me.

[@thebatcollector1460]

Thanks for another great video. I have struggled with the desire to be more feminine for the last 21 years and there was one time where I had the desire to be a woman. Well it didn't last very long out of fear some of the things I was told has a teenager. I was reminded of being told that men have to be men and since I was born a man I have to be. Well the desire to be more feminine has come back numerous times. So the desire to be more feminine has showed up throughout the years and 3 months ago was the second time in my life where I had a strong desire to be a woman. I have noticed through the past 3 months that I am having signs of gender dysphoria but I'm not ready to medical transition and I'm still trying to figure things. I talked with my counselor and I was able to discuss stuff with him and he suggested seeing a gender therapist since he doesn't have much experience with gender therapy. Also another great thing I've done as you suggested is social transition. I've bought women's clothes makeup jewelry and I am growing out my hair as well. I am even trying a new name/ pronouns with my friends and family to see how that makes me feel. Well doing all of this I have noticed that I am trying to think and act like a woman. I remember one time specifically where I went to get my first bra fitting and the whole time I was trying to interact with the world as a woman and trying to figure out how a woman would go about getting their bra fitting. I'm also noticing a desire to want to be recognized as a woman and not as a man who's feminine. I've noticed because of this I'm having gender dysphoria and social dysphoria with the idea of going out in public right now since I'm so early in my social transition. I'm doing things at home mostly but I've done something that I don't feel as discomforting for me and I feel a little more socially acceptable to do as a man. This stuff has helped mentally to Make me feel like a woman and the stuff I do at home also helps. I do notice though that I still have dysphoria or uncomfortableness with certain parts on my body. It's like when I do the things that I'm doing I feel happy and I feel more like myself it feels right but then I see the parts of me that haven't changed like my facial hair or not having breasts. I don't have as much just for you with this but there is some discomfort in relationship to my genitalia. I would say I'm partially neutral just because I'm 35 and have dealt with it for this long but if I think about it or I look at it or I see it it makes me uncomfortable and I kind of have to not focus on. Long story short I'm very happy that I'm not ignoring these signs or desires cuz I've done it for too far long and they just keep coming back. And the stuff I'm doing is helping me discover whether I have dysphoria or not and to what degree. Most importantly with all this I want to figure out exactly how much transition is needed for me to alleviate my dysphoria or the uncomfortableness I am feeling internally in relation to my body and gender identity. I feel a great goal for people to strive for is to figure out how much transition is needed for them to alleviate their dysphoria or the uncomfortableness they may feel. The thing I feel that has helped the most this time for me to not be scared with transitioning or being afraid to explore my gender expression/identity is to not think of transgenderism or transitioning as black and white. I know now that I can transition as little or as much as I want and until I feel I'm ready and know exactly what I want and exactly who I am I can continue socially transitioning and doing everything that I can to alleviate the feelings of dysphoria or discomfort. By doing this I feel that eventually I will know when I'm ready to medically transition. I am 35 and I have the rest of my life ahead of me to transition and be who I want to be so I am in no rush to do anything since I know the last time I felt like I was rushing myself I got scared and gave up all together.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@nicklacroix9670]

Even though I crave to go through transition I'm too worried of all the negative possibilities. Discrimination, violence, not passing, etc.

[@DRZPHD]

Those are legitimate concerns and issues, especially safety. I totally hear you.

[@olivevillanelle3524]

As one who is transitioning, can confirm that yes, it's very serious. It shouldn't be taken lightly and also I believe it should be pointed out that once you begin, it's a life-long process.

[@DRZPHD]

Great comment and totally agree. It is an ongoing life process.

[@user-vu7rv1xf1l]

I absolutely know I an transgender but I hate it because its a living hell. I haven't transitioned, I think about it every day, I have been suicidal about it, I genuinely believed I was a boy when I was little & got angry at people who said otherwise. I have always felt trapped in my body, my female shape repulses me, as do other female things that go on with the body. I have always naturally been drawn to male things, & my identify with men at ease but not women so well. I am in my 30s. In my 20s I was diagnosed by a gender doctor with what I already knew, he have me the go ahead but I was too scared of losing my family, friends, partner. Of not passing. For anyone reading. This is how you know, or one way anyway, you know when its unbearable to be your assigned birth gender, & that the reason you haven't taken the plunge is fear, not uncertainty. I have never been uncertain, not for one day, if a magic wand could make me biologically male I would do it in a heart beat.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am sorry to hear of your pain.

[@xXdarkdekuXx]

Is it bad to begin medically transitioning to feel it out after practicing social transitioning for several months. I'm more afraid of what negative impacts it could have on my life. But I know that dysphoria never stops making me feel bad in my own body as it is.

[@DRZPHD]

Only you can decide when to start medical transition but in general it is good to work with someone who can help you navigate it.

[@aWERFRGT6545BGFG]

i thought body wasnt gendered

[@kailas1412]

Thanks a lot for this!! 🙏

[@DRZPHD]

Welcome 😊

[@mysouthjerseylife]

I know with all my heart and soul I want to transition but I have no support system where I'm from nor do I have the finances so I'm stuck living as someone I'm not

[@DRZPHD]

I am so sorry to hear. I would suggest online support.

[@gregkanz2629]

You're great dr. Z

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you.

[@gregkanz2629]

Who's Jack there is hope in getting a job as trans. I just had an interview at ultra beauty for seasonal help and I think I'm going to get the job. I applied for the kicks to see if would get call for an interview. The thing is I can't accept the job because of ssi and lose my caresoure ins. Because they are paying for my transition. Because I have been seeing a psychiatrist for 5 years. Also going through their hoop doing it at Cleveland clinic

[@Ines-lb9nh]

I now know I want to transition, but I work in a job that requires us to use locker rooms to change clothes and transitioning while in that situation doesn't seem to be safe at all. Also counting that some of my co-workers are a bit transphobic... So right now I'm stuck in a situation where I really want/need to transition but I feel I can't... and in the meantime dysphoria keeps tightening its grip more and more

[@DRZPHD]

I am so sorry to hear.

[@W41K.3R]

I could've used this before I disclosed that I was trans to my mom, and not just questioning my indentity as a whole (I knew) Thanks, Edna Mode/j

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and you are welcome!

[@3bah4y]

I’m so scared of transitioning. I get bombarded with detransition articles and detrans peoples stories. I am a minor by the way. Ftm. I see no other option for the future, other than living as a man. I have known for almost a year. I hate my females features, i want nothing more than having them changed. I feel happier when I bind my chest, when I darken my eyebrows and speak my morning voice which is deeper. I like randomly realizing my shoulders are wider than the average girl. I’m getting a shorter haircut in 3 days too. I’m afraid though that I might regret transitioning eventually. I don’t think I will, I would be so much more happier as a man than as a woman. I really want to start my medical/hormonal transition soon. But I’m haunted by all I hear. People have made me doubt my sanity. I have been told it’s not a real thing and I’ll grow out of it. I don’t think I will. But those people also thought they wouldn’t. I think transitioning is the right thing for me. But I’m still scared. Sorry if I’m repeating myself, I don’t really know how to explain things especially when it’s as deep. I knew I was queer since I was 11 but only 3 years later did I find out I was a guy. I haven’t always known. I mean there were a few signs but maybe it means nothing… I’m afraid I’m so afraid is there any way you can help me clear stuff up based on what I said?

[@brianhutchinson5299]

I would just like to ask you if you have any thoughts on society the way it treats transgender people. I know most psychiatrist would say it is about how trans people are able to cope with Society were I believe it is Society has to change. I'm just interested to hear your thoughts on the situation

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for comment. I 100% believe society needs to change. Yet for it to change, trans people have to be VISIBLE for society to shift. So in a way sadly it becomes a double burden. You need to be seen in order to help others shift their ignorance and expand their paradigms of gender yet by being seen you risk harm. I know it is sadly a double bind but I have a hard time imagining how society will shift otherwise.

[@plant.hacks.4.ur.environment]

My question is not should I start but HOW do I start?! I have looked everywhere, online at doctor, etc and I have not been able to find anything or anyone that can guide me to where to get hormones for gender transition.

[@DRZPHD]

It depends which state you live in. There many organizations such as planned parenthood that help.

[@amohap821]

Is it possible that learned helplessness or hopelessness can convince me that my apparent dysphoria is actually delusion. I feel like i know im female and i do have dysphoria over parts of my body but because i know my parents will reject me and my entire life revolves around not disapointing them. I feel like the reason i may not want to transition is that i dont wamt to disapoint and destroy my parents lives when i can continue to suffer and maintain the relative peace or kill myself. I feel like this notion of me being dependent on my parents and them controlling my life is influencing me im not trans even though i want to tramsition and take hrt and live as a woman except i know that that same path will be miserable in different ways and as much as i hate living as a male atleast im not ostracised and the victim of transphobia. The only reason i am even trying to get a job is to move out and transition otherwise i would indefinitly live with my parents like they want me to, or maybe make more earnest attempts to end this otherwise worthless life. But honestly despite saying this.im not even sure im trans i just always have this doubt im delusional and depressed and that frankly if life is meant to be suffered then i should quit as soon as possible

[@g.goodrich9216]

Definitely possible. Relateable too. Sorry you’re having this pain

[@DRZPHD]

Yes it is possible to start believing that you made dysphoria up or that it’s all in your mind after some time of not being able to deal with it. I am sorry for your pain.

[@chaoscowboy189]

I’m non-binary (amab) and I’m terrified of male pattern baldness, I hate my body hair too. I want to be more feminine but I feel like I’m not ready to take the responsibility to take hrt every day. It’s been a very depressing time in my life.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and its important to take things slow and to listen to your body.

[@yitznewton]

I was in that position and wanting to avoid baldness; I got myself on a low dose of finasteride to help treat receding hair line.

[@michaelpage7036]

Thank you Dr. Z and I believe there are a lot of people Christian's and non Christian's fall in the gate keeper spectrum.

[@DRZPHD]

Hi. I am not sure what you mean. However, I am strongly against gatekeeping especially for those who want to transition. I am also against cheerleading people into transition. What I am for is a mature decision on whether you need to transition or not. Sometimes people jump into it thinking its a magic pill and it is not.

[@michaelpage7036]

@@DRZPHD what I mean sometimes things are said to individuals. That keeps them confused and stuck in fear. I've experienced this. Example one may say it's ok to transition while another would say it's not God's Will or will go to hell sorta thing. If that makes sense. Yes I do agree with you full heartedly. That's why it's important for me to get all the professional help in my decision making and know myself for sure. Before making permeant change.

[@DRZPHD]

@@michaelpage7036 Thanks for clarifying. Yes for someone who is religious it can be very confusing as faith and how one interprets it may be a challenge.

[@michaelpage7036]

@@DRZPHD yes that is my struggle and I'm tired of living in negativity and self hatred toward myself. From past hurts and how I got conditioned to false belief systems about myself. I'm trying to move forward and overcome the challenging fears I face.

[@jimk518]

I feel a longing to have a more feminine body but not do a full transition. I'm pretty confused about what to do. I want the best of both worlds. I like my male side and yet I love feeling female.

[@DRZPHD]

Perhaps trying on various gender expressions to have female side come through.

[@kenhuisingh3962]

Guilt and shame keep so many questioning there readiness to transition. But courage and acceptance help us come out to all we are transgender. There are some lies we tell ourselves that keep us in the closet were we hide our feelings of being transgender. For some of us confusion as to why I try women's clothes on or why we go to make counters to have make applied to our face leaves with to choices accept that this ok or believe it is wrong. What choice we make will determine if we come out as transgender and embrace it 100%

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I couldn’t agree more.

[@Miriam-nb9sh]

Im 100% sure that I am transgender. But I have alot of difficulty knowing where on that spectrum I fall. The more isolated I am the more I am able to feel my femininity and express it. When Im in public I have a really hard time with that. It is much easier for me to imagine that I have a female body than wearing female clothes while in public. At the same time a cannot stay in public without looking at females all the time thinking I would love to be her, I would love wear that and be her. As a teenager Ive hoped this may go away and I can become a man one day. Im 30 now and its still here. I have much more inner acceptance for that, but my hope for it going away has changed into fear that it may go away. If I take steps and the nit goes away I will have created other problems, but if I dont take steps it will surely stay for a very long time or forever.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@Martin-ed7bn]

hello, my name is Martin I'm 17 and I've been thinking of transitioning from male to female for a while but I've always thought it was silly. I have recently realized I am not fully comfortable with who i am. I live with my older sister and I talked to her about it and she always says "let me get used to you being gay first" and it scared me, making me think she won't be accepting of me wanting to be a girl. I'm also worried for my father as I'm the only son he's had I feel like I'm going to hurt him in what I want to do. I worry that more of my family will be confused or not accepting. the person I worry about the most is my grandma she's the one I care about the most I wouldn't want to do this and drive a huge wedge between me and her. I am truly sorry about leaving such a long comment but I was hoping you would give me some insight into what I should do in this situation . my sincerest apology thank you Dr. Z

[@DRZPHD]

Hi Martin and please note my channel is marked for adults only.

[@Martin-ed7bn]

@@DRZPHD I'm sorry I was just hopping to get insight sorry to be a bother

[@bizarelli7695]

This video was very helpful! I am a Brazilian teenager who is questioning my gender identity since last year (June). My doubts about my gender identity started after I cut my hair short and strangers at street started to see me as a boy so I thought: "hey, what do I feel about people seeing me as a boy? Do I like it? Does it bother me? Does it mean something if I like it?". Since that, I've been searching about transgender people, but I'm not sure if I am actually a trans person. At first, it was very confusing because I thought: "I can't be a really trans person cos those people know they are trans since childhood! I have lived 16 years as a girl, so I am probably one" but now I don't agree anymore with that logical. Also, I have a discomfort with my breast, but I'm not sure if this felling is actually dysphoria. It seems a little strange having boobs and I'd like to have a flat chest, but I still don't know if I have gender dysphoria because I don't hate my body, just would like to do not having boobs, although I can tolerate live with them... Anyway, just an outburst :p

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@jebjimmyjebjimmy2979]

Hey, what should I do if I know I want to look female but don't necessarily feel like I am female? Pretty much all of the effects hrt has I would like. A couple months ago, I found out my friend was trans when I thought she was cisgender. It made me realize that this was actually an option. Since then, I've felt envious of women and mtf friends. I honestly wish I felt like I am female but I would be lying If I said I did. Thinking back, there were things that may indicate me being trans in the past. Any thoughts on what I should do? I am 21 and I feel like the clock is ticking. Sorry, this is kind of an incoherent ramble lol.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I'd suggest seeking a therapist in your area to explore your feelings.

[@captainamerica1960]

i am sure about my identity but i wanted to know something different from the concept of this video , let me introduce myself first ...i am a trans men (born female) , i m 18yrs nd 8months old...would this be good for me to start transition know...bcz my biggest dysphorias are my muscle ns bone density...which i think i cant overcome if i would be late than 21yrs... i wanna grow taller, heavier,bigger nd broader..plz answer my question.

[@DRZPHD]

Hi and thanks for asking. I cannot answer your question because I dont work with you closely and dont know if transition is for you or if it is for you at this time. Please seek support of a therapist in your area to discuss this question.

[@Entuz]

Could you please make a video about bi- and homosexuality in trans people? e.g. transwomen being attracted to women or both, and transmen being attracted to men or both?

[@DRZPHD]

Absolutely. I believe I touch base on it in the video on "why your sexual orientation changed after transition."

[@태이씨]

The only thing that is stopping me from hrt is the transphobic family, environment and the cost of hormones😢

[@moonyhere]

sorry to ask , Can someone be trans and not want to do the medical transition and surgeries ?

[@DRZPHD]

Absolutely. In fact many trans people do not engage in medical transition. Medical transition is not mandatory.

[@RosheenQuynh]

*looks in description for referenced videos, sees no enby transition videos* D: Maybe that video has yet to come?

[@DRZPHD]

Hi. Do you mean you would like a video on transition for non binary people? If so, what specifically would you like to hear as thats a broad subject.

[@RosheenQuynh]

@@DRZPHD Yes, that'd be great! 🤔 Hmm... Well, I suppose what options are available for enbys to transition (even if it's just social transition). How to achieve self-acceptance in a binary world would be helpful too

[@xochitln77]

l wanted to transition so badly but l don't know if it will worked out without hormones and surgery?

[@DRZPHD]

Transition is not always medical or surgical. While it can be, many choose to just socially transition.

[@davidmarkdannov7307]

IVE BEEN LIVING AS FEMALE 4 2 WEEKS. IS THE NEXT STEP TAKING HORMONES?

[@DRZPHD]

Hi. Please note that only you can know if you are ready for HRT and if so, seek help of a medical doctor.

[@davidmarkdannov7307]

@@DRZPHD SHE SAYS ABOLUTELY. TIME TO BE A WOMAN I THINK.

[@Lemon_Zhark]

Not hating this is cool but she looks like Edna from the incredibles

[@DRZPHD]

Hahaha I actually love that I look like her. My attitude is also similar to hers.

[@Yesmhmtotally]

Sorry but the entire video I could only think about how much you look like Edna

[@DRZPHD]

Hahaha everyone says so and I love it!

[@commentsiguess1263]

@@DRZPHD NO CAPES!

[@sir.maccc-]

Hey do you do free group sessions for trans people like ftm or support groups or do you take medi-cal as payment for sessions ? I really wanna talk to you because you are definitely the best therapist (in general) I’ve ever seen. You make me feel loved and at home and you make me feel safe

[@DRZPHD]

Hi. I used to do a free support group for trans women that I did for 4 years and it was really popular till shut down due to COVID. I also tried to do a trans man group but it never took off even though it was also free ;( Maybe I may plan on it in the future.

[@sir.maccc-]

DR Z PHD i would love to join it if you make one again

[@gitismita418]

@DR Z PHD - i understand this is ur profession, through which u earning money. But Karma is real. No amount of money can save u from that.

[@DRZPHD]

I totally agree and I hope you are living your life to your standards and ethics.

[@gitismita418]

@@DRZPHD i surely am.

[@korbin4510]

I see myself as person with liberal views and open for ideas and indivudual freedoms. But sex change is just isnt possible. The bone structure is too different and just dont suit.

[@DRZPHD]

Ok, thanks for sharing your point of view.

[@korbin4510]

@@DRZPHD yeah i mean surgery and hormone therapy is such a poor compensation to something one cant get.

[@stickle7144]

This is disgusting. The poor kids you lead astray. I can only pray for them. God gives everyone as many chances as they need and loves you all. Remember that.

[@cloudsilverwing99]

You are absolutely evil. This is complete manipulation.

[@zekcool5468]

What are you talking about …..