Mam I'm 30 running i love to wear feminine clothes makeup and work am I trans?

i ❤ being girl! skincare, makeup , soft skin , smelling good, playing dress up, getting your hair done. i love being a woman. vanilla & cocoa fragrance. soft dresses. long flowy hair. a sensitive peach of a heart. a shyness that makes me want to hide in my shell.

For me, at age 78, cross-dressing is a way to activate and explore the feminine side of my personality, which I've always recognized and valued, but haven't felt free to express openly. I like wearing bright colored clothes on occasion, but just try and find anything on the men's rack half as bright as the flame-colored sun dress I got last year. A bra, forms and panties just feels _right_, not kinky, but satisfying. I went through a very worrisome month a year ago, briefly buying into the myth that if I was watching a trans video, if I was feminizing etc, I must be "going trans" subconsciously. Then I lucked on to some of your earlier videos, Dr Z, and recovered my sense of proportion. I am just expressing a part of me that's always there -- I am still who I am -- and frankly, I'm having fun!

Estrogen maybe secret behind korean kpop 😅

Masking is a bad habit, and I actively mask on both sides. I have actively been thinking about it because I’m cognizant that it’s going on. How do I break the bad habit? I have pretended to fit in majority of my life, but now that I have been transitioning the past couple of years I will default to masking when speaking to people from my past. I also struggle with friends of the opposite gender identity that I am not attracted to. I default back to my mask that I have worn majority of my life. I also have a mask when dealing with my cisgender friends that have no clue about my past. They have no knowledge of the struggle I really have with relationships, nor could they relate. This has been the greatest source of distress for me recently because I’m working to just be myself. I don’t do it knowingly. I can feel the disconnect, but I don’t really realize that I have done it until I reflect on a situation or conversation after the fact. It’s extremely frustrating, and I don’t want to do it anymore.

Thank you

Dr. Z, you are amazing, and I greatly appreciate you. I have been feeling the effects of masking the majority of my life now that I have been transitioning for the past couple of years. As someone who competed at the collegiate level, I had to mask a lot of who I was. I agree that I am still masking with the cisgender friends that I’ve made that have no clue about my past, and they have no clue about relationship struggles nor could they relate. I have actively been thinking about my masking on both sides, and cognizant of how it’s affecting my day to day life. My past masking has me behaving and responding differently than I naturally think when speaking with people I knew prior to transitioning. While my current masking keeps the agonizing thought that I can not naturally produce a child with my partner the way things currently stand, nor can I fully experience sexual pleasure the way that I am compelled to express it. I’m not sure what I should do to resolve the issue on both sides. I’m doing my best not to just isolate, but it feels like no one around me understands. Do you have like a network of colleagues in your field that also specialize in gender affirming care? If so, is there a link to a site or something for me to find someone who practices in my area?

How many patients with gender dysphoria have "racing thoughts'? I was diagnosed bi- polarity by Dr Marcia Schultz

Not trans, quite cis, girl clothes just fit better and I'm DARN cute in a skirt. For some of us it's not a sexual thing, it's a comfy thing.

I think that it's a bit lazy to just say cross dressing is related to sexual excitement which is of course what textbooks have claimed for decades. I think there may be many more complicated motivations. I remember as a child seeing the various "shapewear" marketed towards women and thinking that it's like magic if just wearing something could give you the idealized figure shown by models in the catalog. Much of clothing for women and indeed makeup for women is about being able to control and perhaps improve appearance towards an idealized appearance, that in itself is a very enticing "power". Of course there are limitations as to what clothing and makeup can do to one's appearance but what is advertised is always very remarkable... I would still relate cross dressing more to our society, and advertising for marketing then to just sexual excitement.

I was born female, but growing up, I was most comfortable playing with boys and dressing like a boy. I had to walk on eggshells at home because my father would fly into abusive rages. He alway put pressure on me to lose weight, dress more feminine, and act perfectly. By the time puberty hit, I had developed an eating disorder and disassociated over how my body looked. I always had difficulties knowing who I was and what I wanted. I did my best at jobs but was fired often for not performing well. Finally, in my late 40s, I was diagnosed with ADHD, autistism, dyslexia, and dyscalculea. I won disability and have been learning who I really am. I have started unmasking my autistism. I began watching KZbin and have strongly identified with nonbinary people and trans men. I am one of the two. I learned what top surgery was, and instantly, a giant puzzle piece fell into place. I saw myself a 1000 times more clearly as masculine, and I felt 50+ years of anxiety, confusion, and stress leave my body. I realized that everything that I felt wasn't right about me was intense gender dysphoria! Now I am wearing more masculine clothes. I will get a masculine haircut. My HRT appointment is in 3 weeks, and i am going to push like hell for top surgery before it all becomes illegal here in America.😢

Dr. Z you are absolutely advanced human being. Such high level of open minded thoughts and approach. I wish you would be my favourite therapist. I still can't find one ❤

Does running away from home as a teen count? Used to hitchhike all over the USA as a teen... Being a "hippie" and doing psychedelics helped.. I'm well versed on LSD... Mescaline... Peyote and mushrooms... haven't done that in a good 40 years but still smoke weed.. the only substance I indulge in anymore

Genderfluid here... probably transfem... trying to figure myself... "Purge" was scary, and still is... even if today I have my more femenine clothes with my non feminine ones already in the same closet. Some times, I'm kinda scared to throw everything one day... like I used to do

thank you Doctor, but what if our life's choices prevents us from acting out? not a day goes bye when I don't think of being my true self, dreaming and thinking of the what ifs, morning and night and it has always been that way for me. but I know that I stand to lose the life that I have built over so many years if I were to come out. so it is more complicated than just accept it and transition once and for all.

I tried wearing a gress because it helped me get in contact with thr feminine side of my personality. To me that's perfectly normal. To think this automatically means someone is trans, has to be the dumbest thing a professional councilor could say. Crossdressing is not so much of a thing for women, because it has become socially acceptable for women to wear clothes that were traditionally reserved for men. Some women may not get why it's a thing for men, because they don't have to deal with the restrictions men deal with.

Dr. Z thank you! Listening to you heals my soul. My heart once was broken but I have found myself and the love I have for myself now surpasses any pain I formerly had. You helped me so much in this particular video to reinforce the strength that is growing inside of me. Even if I remain alone for the rest of my life at least I have found the love in my heart 💙. Self expression is beautiful.🌈

I frequently felt a kind of urge to crossdress in secrecy ever since puberty, but it always just ended up highlighting all the ways in which my body was wrong and making me sad. Cisplaining it away to myself worked fine for many years... and then someone mentioned HRT.

I bought myself extra years of non-transition with certain moves: * Growing out my hair bought me 5-7 years * Getting photo shoots so I could remember what was "possible" granted me extra time * Getting finasteride lessened my hair panic, buying me more time * Getting laser bought me about 13 years * Gender expression at home was the "mop-up crew" and managed to balance out what laser could not for an extra five years until it basically maxed out When I was in my 20s, I really thought I could stay at tolerable levels forever. I was wrong. I REALLY got the impression I wasn't trans in my late 20s just talking to trans people because I could go a couple of MONTHS without gender expression. That was...false, turns out. (Every now and then I wonder if I'd just tried to go extra masculine and brought on a crisis, could I have just stopped dragging it out?)

I known all along that for me is not just crossdressing. but I made my life choices and now I'm the later part of my life and I won't change anything and yet I will continue to crossdress to find piece and not fall into depression.

After reading some of the comments and thinking about my own experiences, its wild how our minds can blind us from the obvious, like how my nose is in my field of view, but i cant see it unless i think about it, or how my toung can taste the inside of my mouth, but i taste nothing. Or how the evidence that im transgender is as obvious as a billboard thats illuminated with fireworks, but my brain conveniently didn't notice any of it for a good chunk of my life due to my fear of persecution. Its just a funny observation i have made, but our brains are very good at manipulating our perception of reality, and our society takes advantage of that to a harmful degree.

Im transfemme. When I was younger, i engaged in cross dressing for the seggsual gratification. Wearing certain things like stockings, dresses, and makeup turned me on. As i got older, i started getting into the weirder bdsm stuff like zentais, latex, hoods, ect. Up until around when i turned 30, i was in denial about being trans. I just felt like it was a weird fetish, and i imagined that eventually i would start dating woman and that i can just toss all of that stuff in the trash and forget i ever was into that. I put alot of effort into convincing myself that i was just a normal man with some weird hobbies. At some point, i started getting weird dreams and one dream shattered the lie that i created to hide who i truly am. Ever since that dream, i knew i was trans, and started getting alot of hindsight. For example, i never felt like a man in any of my dreams, and whenever i saw myself in 3rd person, i always saw a female. When i was a kid, i really wanted bangs, and thought that was a normal thing for men to want. I would always cover my knuckles with the sleeves when wearing long sleeve shirts, and i thought it was something normal for men to do. Also, i have never once in my life had the desire to be a top in the bedroom. The idea of being a top just seemed wrong to me, despite the fact that men are supposed to be tops, as thats how babies are made. Anyway, its been a few years now, and i still wear feminine chlothing whenever i get a chance (i only wear the fully feminine outfits in private because im still in the closet although i do a little gender bending out in public, although its too subtle for people to notice), but i no longer consider it cross dressing. As a matter of fact, feminine chlothing doesn't really turn me on anymore like it used to. On the other hand, masculine chlothing now causes me extreme dysphoria. I dont feel comfortable wearing mens chlothing anymore. One funny example is that i cant stand the feeling of buttoning the top button of a button up shirt. The feeling of the shirt collar around my neck litterly makes me gag. On the flip side, i love wearing chokers and collars because they make me feel safe for some reason. Its hard to describe like sleeping under a thick blanket. I have gotten to the point where i have as much feminine chlothing as masculine chlothing, and i have to be careful not to accidentally walk out the front door in a dress. Again, i dont really consider what im doing as cross dressing anymore. Im just wearing what i feel like wearing. I understand that my experience is unique to me, and not everyone is like me. I find it annoying that we have soo many human constructs in our society that we falsely interpret as laws of nature when theres nothing natural about them. For example, we assign the color pink to the female gender, but for the longest time, it was considered a masculine color, and in the past, it was normal for both boys and girls to wear dresses for hygiene reasons until a certain age. If time travel was a thing, it wouldn't surprise me if people in the 1800s would think im trans or at least gay with my blue carpenter jeans and blue flannel coat.😂

Can you be a crossdresser even if you're on hormones, and go into society sometimes presenting as a woman. Or would this be more considered transgender? Also if it was just a sexual preference, could one be on hormones and still not considered trans in that scenario?

For most of my life, I’ve known that I identify as a woman. I first experienced gender euphoria in secrecy as a teenager, wearing women’s clothing when I had the chance. But I suppressed it, denied myself that joy-until this week. Looking back, I see that I buried a part of myself after experiencing trauma related to my sexual orientation. I survived, but I carried scars I didn’t even realize were there. And then, I remembered Shelly-the strongest, most independent, most alive version of me. She had always been there, waiting. For months, I struggled with the question: How do I integrate this into my life? I allowed myself small moments-creating an online space where I could express myself freely, feeling like a person again, even if only briefly. But it wasn’t enough. I needed something real, something tangible. So, I started small. I brought back a piece of my past that had always felt right but had been kept hidden-my clothing. And now? I don’t see myself ever going back. Then came the deeper realization: I am not just sexually a woman-I am a woman. I’ve always been. The silver bullet was a thought experiment: If there were a pill that would let me wake up as a woman, would I take it? Without hesitation-yes. This journey isn’t easy. I won’t pretend it is. I’ve been feeling everything intensely, struggling to stay grounded, even experiencing grief for the time I lost. I used to think hormone therapy was for people who couldn’t cope with their dysphoria. But now, I’m realizing I’m struggling more than I ever expected. I don’t know what my next steps will be, but I do know that I can’t turn back. I see people before and after their transition who looked just like me, and all I want is to get there-to finally live fully as myself. This is just the beginning, but I know it will get easier.

Don't know that there is a"right time" but there's plenty of wrong times

Please Dr. Z answer this question. I was writing in my journal and I wrote I was not born a genius and I accept that. Why can't I accept I was born a man and accept it? I do not have dysphoria over not being a genius. I do have dysphoria about not being a woman. What is going on here?

I started to cross dress as a young boy in secret when i visted my Aunt. She would buy me girls clothes at local community sales and allow me to wear them provided i stayed indoors, but the desire to wear them full time was so strong. As i grew older that desire did not go away, by the time i was 12 i had what we now know as gender dysphoria, but back in the 60's it was a taboo subject. I had to wait until i was in my 40's before i was free to come out and begin my journey. Today female clothing is all i have and having gone through GRS it is part of my life.

Like many trans people, I started my journey cross dressing. At first there was a sexual component to it, then I realized something else was happening. I started to feel serious dysphoria. I repressed it for years and finally the dam broke and I had to deal with it. I am over two years into my transition and I am finally happy. IMO it is all about, do you want to be a woman. A few years ago Dr. Z made a video about that idea. It really helped me sort things out. Now, it would be quite distressing for me to have to go back to living as a man. I think people who are cross dressers are fine with their masculinity and find time to express themselves as female for a variety of reasons. This is quite valid. I know cross dressers and when I ask them are you OK being a man they answer yes. It can get confusing when people cross dress and are trans, but they cannot find a way to acknowledge they are trans and transition. Sometimes they are quite knowledgeable about that acknowledgement and other times they are not. Exploration is the key. Cross dressing is one component of a person's gender exploration. It may help someone sort out their gender identity while others will know better who they are which is consistent with their birth gender. Dr. Z has made another important video. Thanks so much to her for her work. ❤

from the many crossdressers i have met, i do actually think most of them are actually trans but are holding back from exploring that further because of the situation they find themselves in. I tend to find that it's either the older generation of crossdressers who are locked down in a heterosexual marriage (many times with children) that they dont want to disrupt OR that they don't live in an environment that they would ever feel safe in to present themselves how they'd prefer if they did feel safe. I think its more of a risk assessment where many crossdressers dont feel like it's worth risking what they already have... however i know that if you ask them personally, many of them do entertain the idea of transition... they just dont find it realistic for themselves given their unique dispositions. I think this is why we are seeing a greater number of the younger generation identifying as "trans" and not as a "crossdresser", they can live their truth and not be as easily tied down to more traditional ways of living.

Crossdressing to me is that many women's marketed clothing feels softer and is more stretchy. Women's jeans don't seem to fall down my ass crack. My mediocre muscles seem to pop out of the sleeves of women's marked tshirts. Plus, at Walmart, most of the funny shirts are in the women's sections (eff juniors. Worst sizing scheme ever. Yeah its for teens, but adults like fun shirts too)

My main concern is that I already have a pretty deep voice and I’m okay with it, so I’m worried about it becoming too much deeper. My main goal is facial hair and a more masculine appearance while. I want the freedom to be masculine or feminine without looking like a child when I’m presenting more masculine, and I am worried that deepening my voice may make me more uncomfortable. Unfortunately I can’t pick and choose lol but oh well.

Doex experiencing gender euphoria when crossdressing mean you're trans and having fluctuating feelings of wanting to be the opposite gender mean you're trans? I feel totally comfortable as my assigned gender but still want to be a woman sometimes no strong feelings. Been questioning for almost four years and I don't want to boat this up so it can be read.

Thank you Dr Z ❤

I notice you focused on male crossdressing. Could we consider a ciswoman who identifies as a lesbian, but has a masculine appearance (ie: "butch") to also be crossdressing? Also isn't it interesting that it is socially acceptable for a woman to wear men's clothing in public, where it is physically dangerous for a man to do so in most places/settings. Love your video essays Dr. Z!

Yep this happens when you reach a certain type of feminisation I keep putting it to the back of my mind but it just comes back 10 times worse

True. I'm a trans woman and it's never made sense to me. But many cis people feel the same about trans people. Regardless it doesn't matter and they can do their thing

I (AMAB) have identified as non-binary for years now... but yesterday, an exhausted me spontaneously told my partner "I am a sleepy girl"... and we both realized what I said at the same time. I went to bed, but I still haven't processed why I said that. :/

It’s not a choice because if I had a choice, I would’ve adjusted it to the body I was given and been content. I tried so hard back in the past to to be the person to match that body, but it almost destroyed me and killed me on the inside to the point I wanted to kill myself that driven me to transition to change my body and live with a girl. It was so severe that I had even that I was in real time living, which I didn’t really probably didn’t even realize what it meant before I even saw a medical doctor. I was seeing a therapist, however at the time. I hate the Gender Dysphoria, and now that’s horrible. Trump and Elon Musk is bringing it out even though I’ve had the transition and everything and the surgery and I completely pass a girl. I don’t know how to live anything other than a girl. Being a girl, the only thing I know with mannerisms behavior looks and expressions. The things they say, make me self-loath of myself. There’s a point that I’m not even sure I wanna live anymore. I have no cell value because Trump says I don’t exist. Trump and Elon Musk could be happier if I killed myself.

I'm hermaphrodite. Wild hormonal swings make finding my singularity hard from day to day. Found your channel. I trust you. thankyou.

💖🙏🏾💖

Hmmmm, why did this pop up on my list?.............👀👀

Many years ago I read that crossdressing is something that only men do, you don't get women crossdressing; it took me along time to realise that this because women do not have restriction on clothing, if they want to wear more masculine clothing they can and many do and nobody really notices. It is as you say the restrictions that society puts on men and how they should present that causes a problem. For me crossdressing is just a way of presenting my authentic self.

I wear skirts because I identify as tough Roman warrior 😂 Just kidding, but I think this video defines me well, as I like being seen as a woman or being called miss, while still from time to time enjoy my masculine role (10% of the time, maybe? 😂 But the masculine part is not dead yet)

Very interesting video Dr. Z. Currently I'm exploring more my feminine side especially with voice feminization and cadence. Crossdressing definitely boosts my self-esteem and just makes me happy with myself. To me its way more than just a fetish, it's who i am.

What is harmful is I see a lot of crossdressers identify as transgender like its a trend, they must get to know what being transgender really means it is not just dress up dahlin 😂

I never had any desires to cross dress. Feminine and flowery fashion just never appealed to me. ...In fact, it somewhat repelled me. That was one reason I didn't think I was transgender as a teenager, because I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the teenage girlhood I saw around me. But I still experienced gender fluidity, and would fantasize about becoming a girl and living life if I somehow got magically transformed. It still doesn't hold much appeal, and makes me worry I'm not "trans enough". ...But my sporadic gender dysphoria reminds me eventually. I'm not quite sure how to react to female friend's offers to help "dress me up" or teach me makeup. I just...don't like that sort of thing. But I am going to need their help eventually to learn how to dress right in a feminizing body, and not boymode forever. I just don't know how much is genuine disinterest and how much is just the result of years of repression.

I honestly didn't get to the stage of wondering what it would be like to live as a woman. Not truly. It was always "enough of it to keep me sane" and I really wanted to keep it private if I could. I needed to keep things at bay and some things, like hair removal and growing my hair out, I could justify that. HRT, I couldn't. I had a legitimacy issue. I pushed it off as something that would help and...actually, that was the first time I *ever* saw a psychologist for it, just to ask the simple question "am I trans enough for this?" A good psychologist in this space has seen so many people like you. SO MANY. And they will tell you how incredibly common the thoughts you have are, and the questions you are asking are, and that...YES is the answer. To them that's honestly EASY to answer. But then you can get out all your fears and other questions. Answering that one question is half the battle, and even if you can't afford much...just getting that one question on the table is helpful because you are having trouble saying yes to your own self.

Ive yo-yo'ed back and forth with my gender and im totally cool with just cross dressing. I feel sorry for the trans community who are going through everything right now 😔

It’s just autoheterosexuals who are not distressed by their genitalia.

Thank you for your thoughts Dr Z! I think it’s valuable for people who enjoy cross dressing to feel that this is a normal thing, and I agree that trans people should allow and encourage cross dressing and exploring (and even breaking) gender norms without insisting on them being trans for doing so. We talk about the “Egg prime directive” and it’s really helpful to remind ourselves that this is there for an important reason. ❤