ARE YOU SIMPING FOR YOUR WIFE?!

[@gerardopena4403]

Matt Basically saying: " Dont fall in the trap of using your Wife's body to regulate your emotions." Then goes on a tangent. Let Christ be the rock of your marriage. Dont simp. If you depend on your wife's body to regulate your emotions, you've fallen in lust,and that is a problem.

[@emma_luce_0623]

You should be very affectionate but you shouldn't depend on that person to be your soul source of happiness/comfort

[@mac8179]

A man who leads well and serves his wife is something a wife finds deeply desirable. You won’t have to “simp”.

[@VABJMJ]

That's true, but also not. As in, the final result is that, but if she doesn't see it your way at first she'll resist and get angry at you. Nobody likes to be told, no matter how softly, that we're not doing what they want.

[@GaserBeam-hi4ez]

@@VABJMJI usually find when a woman doesn’t want to do what a man wants and they argue it isn’t a spiritual matter or the man didn’t explain his position as to why. One must have good reasoning and explain as a leader, a good track record. It’s like a great military leader vs a run of the mill officer.

[@carlossardina3161]

Sometimes a righteous woman is not attractive to us men because of our sinful nature. Our wives, likewise, can fall into the same hole and do not find righteous qualities attractive. Consequentially, we have to be righteous by leading well, avoiding “simping”, and accept that it could lead to sexual frustration. This is important because it helps us realize that sexual disinterest from your wife does not mean you are not leading well.

[@mikezeke7041]

Only if the wife is godly and submissive

[@duanewoodson9804]

Define lead? List the task or duties that support your statement!

[@michaelsterling2650]

A satisfying sex life in marriage is a byproduct of each partner fulfilling the role that God created for them in the union. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t desire that, it’s just that, if you’re doing what God created you to do, then, necessarily you’ll enjoy the benefits. Simply put, a satisfying sexual relationship with your spouse is a byproduct of obedience. I’ll have to listen to the whole talk for context.

[@BrigidHigginsAMDG]

Precisely - extremely well put. An uncomfortable truth perhaps for many of my own sex (and generation - Gen-Z Catholic here) in particular (the curse of Eve and the absence of by father figures and properly hierarchical marriages has certainly made “obedience” a scary word to many women who forget how much moral vetting ought to be done up-front prior to marriage, so that wives can trust their husband’s leadership without feeling the constant temptation and fear that they need to nag and criticize and challenge his every decision), but Aristotle and Aquinas both recognized the relationship of unequals as the root of the closest form of friendship and love for a reason! Equality and sameness (not equality of dignity in the sight of God), mean replaceability and interchangeability and the different gifts God has given to men and women mean that we *must* have different roles. Plus since nature itself is inherently hierarchical - in imitation of the heavenly order - part of those roles does indeed involve and necessitate that in any group (marriage, family, etc.) one person possess the final say, and in all frankness it stands perfectly to reason that the sex whose responsibilities include protection and provision should be accompanied with the responsibility-benefit (they always go hand-in-hand!) of leadership, because how can a husband and father keep his wife and child safe and provided for if they ignore his authority? The truth may be an uncomfortable one, but it’s only uncomfortable because of humanity’s fallen, sinful nature and our own sinful society’s pride and inversion of all that is natural!

[@carlossardina3161]

Sometimes a righteous woman is not attractive to us men because of our sinful nature. Our wives, likewise, can fall into the same hole and do not find righteous qualities attractive. Consequentially, we have to be righteous by leading well, avoiding “simping”, and accept that it could lead to sexual frustration. This is important because it shows that unsatisfying sex life does not mean you aren’t living in obediently; the fault could be on your spouse (although, of course, it’s best to assume it’s your fault first and try to fix it before blaming your spouse).

[@carlossardina3161]

It certainly true that “if you what God created you to do, you’ll enjoy the benefits.” But the benefits just might not be where/when you expect them. In this case, it might not lead to sexually gratification.

[@JColeman-MedocMusic]

I wouldn’t call that being “overly affectionate.” That’s called being a pushover. Don’t be a pushover, guys.

[@aenigmatica8]

I came ready to disagree with this one, and ended up totally on board. It’s also a vicious cycle because the wife will lose respect for the husband as he does this. And just to be clear, an affectionate husband is GOLD! But not if the affection is coming from this place of satisfying his lusts and insecurities.

[@doritomaster7112]

Finally. Thank you Matt for speaking up about this.

[@JP2GiannaT]

I think "affectionate" was a poor choice of words here...

[@-LadyFawn-]

I agree. I get what he is trying to say but he didn’t succeed in clear articulation of the idea. Affectionate and tenderness toward the wife is not simping, and it shouldn’t be transactional or done for fear of being denied sex. If your wife feels secure, heard, honored, and valued, sex is gonna happen.

[@nathanjamesdickerson]

@@-LadyFawn-When men simp, they unconsciously use affection and tenderness to manipulate circumstances for them to get the love they think they need. It’s called the Nice Guy Syndrome. It appears to be affectionate but it is self-preservation, therefore not affection.

[@bradmakesgains8779]

Uxorious

[@wiiildfire]

@@JP2GiannaT As my son said, the more proper term here would be “submissive.” Or overly-submissive. Which isn’t really affection. Sometimes the opposite.

[@whereisshenow9958]

My husband is my ultimate leader. I know I can trust him to lead our family because he is led by Christ. It wasn’t always like this.. it was a struggle for me at the beginning of our marriage.. but he is a strong, courageous leader who fearfully loves the Lord so I quickly learned to submit to this holy man that God has put before me. I encourage all husbands to submit to the Lord then your wife will follow suit!

[@alanadidonato147]

I love this. I struggle to be submissive because my husband is not submissive to the Lord. And I know it’s still wrong. But he takes the Lords name in vain, swears, drinks, uses drugs, speaks to us poorly, isn’t here much. He works really hard for us and I’m so thankful but the rest is really tough. Pray for us.

[@Seliz463]

@@alanadidonato147well you literally cannot follow his lead in sin because you know you shouldn’t do those things he is modeling. But it does help to enthusiastically follow him when he IS leading you into virtue and being honest about how much that means to you and how much you need that, and how his bad examples harm you. And keep praying for him.

[@RelaxAndMeditateChannel]

@@Seliz463 this is some simple but great advice!

[@Drexelandco]

The clip that gets Matt Cancelled… 😂😂

[@nemoexnuqual3643]

All of us who hold to Biblical teachings are already “canceled,” ya…we don’t care. A man is a man, a woman is a woman, the curse of Eve is real and so is the curse of Adam, sexual immorality is sexual immorality. I openly wear my crucifix every day. Please let an employer fire me for being Christian, I have debts to pay off and wouldn’t resent an early retirement and that lawsuit will result in a mad tithe for the church.

[@buzzzzzd]

@@Drexelandco and rightly so. This way of thinking stems from an attitude of entitlement, not Christian charity.

[@CedanyTheAlaskan]

​@@buzzzzzd No. It doesn't.

[@buzzzzzd]

@@CedanyTheAlaskan how do you mean, exactly?

[@MrRight-fj4yi]

Right it's "keeping the peace" at the expense of the relationship. Read the book "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud - completely changed my life!

[@michaelmicek]

When we were children ("infants" up to age 3-5) we were _supposed_ to be able to depend on our mother for unconditional affection. How many boys failed to receive it and are now men trying to make up for it through their wives?

[@user-eamQvqpoqe]

Why you gotta put me on blast, Matt.

[@nicholasramirez7322]

SIMMMP

[@GMurph2336]

Sometimes it’s not because of the denial of sex but in the avoidance of conflict.

[@mikezeke7041]

Man, this is 🔥. Convicting

[@library.voices]

As a woman who is a romantic and loves a strong, traditional man, this is music to my ears.

[@nemoexnuqual3643]

An interesting take on how the curse of Eve is also a curse of Adam. I hadn’t thought of it that way but you are correct.

[@nathanjamesdickerson]

“No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr Robert Glover is an incredible book on how to recover from being a nice guy(codependency) and how to step into a masculine frame. He doesn’t approach it from a Christian perspective, but the overall content is 🔥

[@ricardorios6138]

Yes I know guys like that. His wife ends up being the last word for everything.

[@mattcaruso2520]

This very thing happened to me and I am so sad it caused me to waste so many years on a misaligned marriage and disorderly view on the marital act. It was nuts. Thankfully it’s fixed now but lots of baggage from it.

[@PhunkMaster-VivatChristusRex]

One wrong word and people will jump to conclusions assigning the wrong meaning to what Matt said. Unbelieveable.

[@SDILUYNTsiu39fnd]

When a husband is unwilling to show disagreement towards his wife's actions due to an irrational fear of displeasing her. Basically being a slave to his wife. Fr. Ripperger has a video on manliness. He mentioned is that the first sin Adam was that he allowed Eve to make the decision of eating from the tree without questioning it because he did not want to displease her. I think thats what Matt is saying. Its not that hard to understand guys :/

[@nicholasramirez7322]

I understand PERFECTLY :)

[@klapri2260]

So simple but so easily twisted based on one’s perception.

[@saskilla1945]

I needed to hear this i don't watch pom or anything but i really know what you mean about the simping because youre afraid of not having sex.

[@MG-bv8fi]

Affection is needed in all marriages, there’s no such thing as too much affection towards your husband or wife. Always be loving, playing games by withdrawing affection will put more fuel on the fire and someone will end up hurt. That said, manipulating a spouse is controlling behaviour. Both actions could be considered a form of abuse. If a spouse is upset, you need to have respectful and open communication. Sometimes a marriage counsellor can help. A husband can still put his foot down whilst being affectionate.

[@sidneybuckaloo]

What he said did feel a bit like a manipulation. Just talk about things and live your spouse the way you love them.

[@silvio1894]

I understood this as "do not be the wimp, be the Man of God."

[@Eliastheprofit]

Great observation

[@321voices-kimberlysunderma7]

Matt, Thank You for speaking the truth! We women need to let our husbands lead- it is easier said than done. Prayers for all of us since we are a work in progress. 🙏💙🙏📿🙏

[@danbenz6362]

Some women just slob out though. I’ve held my wife accountable for everything and set standards but she gets worse overtime. Divorcing her soon.

[@jstorey6226]

Not one conversation goes by with out him mentioning porn

[@kelkabot]

Well, unfortunately, we live in such a porn-saturated culture that virtually every marital relationship suffers from it in some way.

[@saskilla1945]

Get used to it because for some reason everyone has a pom addiction .

[@Llyrin]

I’ve never personally known a man who did that. Of course, I’m from a different generation. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@bradmakesgains8779]

‘Affectionate’ is the wrong word. ‘Uxorious’ is more apt.

[@Fr492001]

This type of thing is why i just avoid relationships. Even marriage is just a giant thornbush of dos and donts that you have to follow just to make it work, to say nothing of the pre-ritual of dating and courtship. Tons of problems and not much benefit.

[@IgorAlvarenga791]

A christian red pill... Never saw that coming. Pretty based, actually. 🗿

[@derek4412]

I’m walking into a wholesale club to get my wife a 90-pack of fruit snacks. Is this simping?

[@celiamergen2091]

Lol I don't think so. Acts of service are genuine care. Now, if she was going to be snorting said fruit snacks, you should maybe worry 😂 God bless you and how you care for your wife!

[@Seliz463]

Are you doing it because you’re afraid if you don’t, your wife won’t have sex with you? Then yes. Are you doing it because you love doing acts of service for her, and you know your sexual life isn’t about catering to her despite your private moral objections, and it’s just a nice thing that makes you both happy? Then no, not simping

[@iamjustsaying4787]

Thank you! A man is meant to lead his wife and children into heaven. Sadly, if you let most men lead, they will lead you straight into hell. A leader is the leader because he has the best interest of his followers as his top priority. If you’re top priority is you, then you are not a leader you are a tyrant.

[@rx0102]

This is WAY different from what you were saying when you had Timothy Gordon on. INVITE TIM BACK!

[@PaulaWalkerArt]

Fr. Ripperger: "It's the Curse of Adam." Matt: "It's to simp over your wife".

[@thatsfunny2051]

Overly affectionate husbands? I have never once seen that. Ive seen lot of guys ignoring their wives though

[@derek4412]

“Overly affectionate” just means trying to please your wife even when it’s not virtuous. I think of the husbands who spend money they don’t have to give his wife an Instagram-worthy vacation or buying too many sweets that are not nourishing for the body. I say this as a husband who is about to enter a members-only wholesale store to get a 90-pack of fruit snacks, for my wife.

[@aenigmatica8]

I think it’s less about the affection and more about why he’s being affectionate.

[@thatsfunny2051]

@@derek4412 Okay. Well, I wouldn't have called that affection

[@Seliz463]

@@thatsfunny2051yeah, I don’t think Matt used the best choice of words, but I get what he’s saying

[@bumponalog5001]

lol always one

[@kelkabot]

Fantastic. Woman here, who is grateful for authentically masculine men who are willing to be servant leaders like Christ, who lay down their lives for wife and children by making hard calls that will sometimes make them feel lonely.

[@HTHTNT77]

If a man "simps", that has nothing to do with us. That is your conditioning/choice. We are not responsible. Your wives probably don't enjoy this at all. I certainly don't want to be a partners mother.

[@magnoliam4159]

He certainly wasn’t blaming women. He was blaming the man

[@klapri2260]

It always takes two to tango. Usually the woman in such a relationship has a tendency to mother her partner. Seen that all throughout my life.

[@timboslice980]

Ive been criticized in the same way but my wife is not a catholic and will do just about anything to keep our kids from going to mass. Im the exact opposite, ill fight her to drag the kids to church. They complain and whine and she looks at that like more ammunition. She doesnt attend any church or read any scripture since I converted. When we got married we were both methodists and regularly went to church and did bible study. Its not to say i dont stand up for myself, in fact im quite brutal towards her when it comes to how Im leading the family. My daughter is learning the rosary and attends mass every other week with me, my wife hates that. Weve had huge fights where she’ll say “im not allowed to talk about god anymore” well in those cases i just talk about him waaaaaay more, overwhelm her with jesus music, and will refuse to help her while im doing bible study. Idk what i could do to change the situation, besides praying as ive done for years now….. it seems the more i try the worse it gets. Its definitely a struggle but im certainly not a simp or a puppet. Compromises have to be made or both of our lives will be a living hell and i dont want to put the kids through that. Ive even had catholic friends say i should seek annulment or push her to leave. Im in it for the long haul, been together 10 years married for 6 and I’m never giving up on her. I love that woman no matter how much she hates the church. She wont look into ANYTHING ive suggested because she thinks its a way for me to make her catholic. Which it is so theres a stalemate

[@anzot6903]

Start fasting! Prayer isn't always enough. Also, keep making it happen with the kids no matter what. A male role model is significantly more likely to help his children remain Christian than a female role model, statistically speaking.

[@timboslice980]

@@anzot6903 Indeed i do fast. Always my intensions are for her conversion, ill never give up buddy thanks!

[@JP2GiannaT]

"overwhelm her with Jesus music...will refuse to help her while I'm doing Bible study" I obviously don't know all the circumstances, but just from that...I think there are some things that you could possibly change. There's raising the kids Catholic and being Catholic...and then there's using your Catholic faith as an oversized cartoon mallet and beating people over the head with it. The two are not the same thing. From what I've read from this comment, if you keep going the way you've been going, and you are going to drive your wife away from the faith permanently. I'd really recommend reading Dr. Greg Popcak's work on marriage (Catholic marriage therapist, and he's written on how to proceed when you convert but your spouse doesn't), and reading (or re-reading) Rome Sweet Home by Dr. Scott Hahn and paying attention to how he treats his wife after he converted but she hadn't yet. There's staying true to your convictions and then there's aggressive proselytizing...the first is necessary, the second never works. Again, I know I don't have a full picture, but it sounds like maybe you've been doing some of the second.

[@bumponalog5001]

I applaud you for converting despite the pain and suffering it’s caused you. That takes great courage. Have you tried showing her what the Bible says about how a wife needs to submit to her husband? It’s very clear, if she claims to believe in the Bible it could be a way to get her to ease up. Your call of course, just an idea.

[@timboslice980]

@@bumponalog5001 Yeah… i think thats her main fear is that the bible will suggest that shes now just a piece of property of mine. I keep trying to say i belong to her just as much as she belongs to me but in her mind its like “here read this, then you’ll want to do whatever i say” i tried to tell her you simply cant be a christian and against the idea of patriarchy. Her response is “its possible if you dont read that book”

[@pstrzel]

Wife: Being more affectionate toward her husband for 6 months Husband after 6 months of "affection": You know, honey, I think I misspoke

[@R.Khan2023]

Good advice

[@Serena-jf5ts]

This makes no sense. How is being affectionate ever a bad thing, and what on earth does that have to do with decision-making?

[@tbenedict8983]

he doesn't mention being affectionate but being OVERLY affectionate. Being affectionate and taking care is part of your job as a husband but there is also more to do which why you cannot only be affectionate

[@shanahendricks9831]

You literally did not get the point

[@GaserBeam-hi4ez]

He doesn’t really mean affectionate at all. He means that guys who let the wife lead everything just so they can get booty are simps.

[@shepherddog1199]

Overly affectionate in this context means be a doormat

[@magnoliam4159]

I think it was a poor choice of words.

[@tracycameron5099]

Agreed

[@hyreonk]

But that's not what simping is.

[@shanahendricks9831]

That's exactly that simping is

[@hyreonk]

​@@shanahendricks9831 Simping is excessive attention or service to someone who doesn't reciprocate. Wives reciprocate. What Matt is describing is dependence. That's a good behavior to avoid, but it's just not simping.

[@shanahendricks9831]

@@hyreonk it's simping, simping is on a spectrum. It's got to do with a man not growing up and still clinging on boy like behavior. I say that because once a man understands his relationship with God, his past, responsibility and accountability. Simping ceases

[@hyreonk]

@@shanahendricks9831 If that is true then an asexual living in their mother's basement at 40 is a simp that just doesn't make sense

[@shanahendricks9831]

@@hyreonk it is no coincidence that it is his mom's basement

[@andrewhaley9592]

Poor word choice. Some wives negatively condition their husbands using 'making their life hell' in order to get their way. That's not simping it's negative conditioning

[@stutterstudios4731]

🙏🏼 yes

[@Johnn-three-sixteen]

You think maybe the story of the fall was more nuanced? Eat this or no nookie? Aside that we should always abstain at least for 1 month as a fast from sexual relations. It gives things on a better footing and tempers your spirit and resolve.

[@javierclement3047]

I personally prefer every Sunday. I think it’s more logical than picking a random month.

[@littleway24601]

Overly affectionate towards his wife? I didn’t know this was possible tbh. My husband, and it seems like nearly all my friends husbands, have issues with not being affectionate enough.

[@shepherddog1199]

​@timothy2794that's what he meant lol

[@jeffwirick6099]

Sex is over rated

[@alwaysrootingfortheantihero123]

main point of the video: don’t use your wife’s body to regulate your emotions. he used the wrong word cause that’s not what simping is but like that’s his point in the beginning.

[@bumponalog5001]

lol stop trying to change his message so it’s not offensive to disagreeable women. He also said stop simping.

[@alwaysrootingfortheantihero123]

@@bumponalog5001 he said stop simping then defined simping as using your wife’s body for emotional regulation similarly to a child and his mother but instead of an emotional attachment based on motherly love it’s an emotional attachment based of sex

[@DivineKnight_115]

First things first if a spouse for any reason is “withholding sex” from their spouse, it’s sinful because you’ve now negated the marital vow promising to be with that person for better or worse in sickness and in health. Withholding sex is the reason most marriages end up in the gutter, now I completely agree with not simping for your wife, just know that her withholding sex now needs counseling is so she can deal with some personal issues and stop acting like a toddler who doesn’t get something she immediately wants even if it’s bad so now she weaponizes the marital union. Father Chad Ripperger talks about this failure of men and woman since Adam and Eve and it makes all the difference in understanding. He boils it down to men simp and don’t stand up against their wives for hard decisions and they lose respect for their husbands and end up cheating or divorcing. The other side is men take the lead and try to be good men and husbands but feminism tricked her into not wanting to be led and thinking she can do everything herself and the husband loses respect for her and ends up cheating or divorcing. I’m not getting married anytime soon cause I have personal growth is like to achieve and women today all want to be boss babe leaders and that ain’t it for me chief.

[@EconomicCharting]

Narcissism

[@blonddoctor]

This is so wrong. A husband can lead, be a manly man, a strong man, make decisions, but there is no such thing as being overly affectionate. If you are leading like a dictator, then, i over course she does not have feelings toward you. Husbands don't make all decisions, families make decisions together, and what does a porn addiction have to do with this? You are to love your wife like Jesus did. Does not sound like that is what you are doing

[@blonddoctor]

@@EchoP7596 Interesting. I guess I will tell my husband of 20 years, who has retired after being in the Special Forces of the United States Army, that we are doing it all wrong. When our home was broken into, my husband growled at me to crawl into the closet and not come out no matter what I heard...that was him ordering me and I did it. Ever Friday is pizza night, and ever Friday he says, "So honey where do you want to get pizza from?". And I choose where we get pizza from. I guess according to you, he should stride into our home and order the pizza from where he wants. When I daughter passed away, I made every decision about what we were going to do, in fact for the next year he gently...when he was here...he gently asked me what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, how I wanted to act. Sometimes a very strong man, who is absolutely convinced that his strength is understood, can be gentle and meek, and when he is that...he is at his most powerful. You are a bully who has to pound his chest saying, "I am the man", my husband knows he is the man, and so do I. So, does everyone else.

[@tomasrocha6139]

​@@EchoP7596"men don't get married anymore" False. "and divorce is through the roof" Nope, it's been in decline for a long time.

[@blonddoctor]

@@EchoP7596 All I know is this; my husband is the strongest, most powerful, at times most frightening (not at me - only the bad guys) man I know. He is also the gentlest, kindest, and yes at most me - most caring man I have ever meet. He is hard when that is required, but soft when dealing with me. He is Jesus's hands, feet, body, and I know he would sacrifice himself (though I would not want him to) for me. He is my hero and if every man acted, towards their wives, as he acts toward me, women would be begging to marry.

[@chibikeugbam5247]

Ermmm there is such a thing as being overly affectionate. Ever heard of man child, mommy's boy etc. Those terms describe boys stuck in men's body. Temper tantrums, indecisiveness, laziness are some traits that such people tend to have. Most of the time, the cause of such development can be traced to the overly affectionate parenting of the mother. There is a reason fathers are extremely important and it ain't largely because of affection, it is discipline. So yes, my dear, there is such a thing as being overly affectionate

[@blonddoctor]

@@chibikeugbam5247 I do indeed stand corrected. I would not have considered that being overly affectionate, I would have considered that being a wimp. I was thinking of affectionate as constant touching, kissing, patting, etc. Think of those little pats on the behind (and those go both ways and towards the husband and towards the wife) and little kisses as you pass each other. What you are describing I would barely thinking of as a man...but I am in love with a very testosterone high man. Thank you for the correction - you are right. BTW this is a good example to others, when you want to correct someone - correct, then add "yes, my dear" it makes everything more friendly. :)

[@wiiildfire]

I think that you’re confusing terms here and mean “overly-submissive.” Throughout eternity we’ve seen examples of submissive husbands who have lost any ounce of affection. Affection is never wrong but doesn’t have to equal compliance, and resentful submissiveness to keep the peace isn’t desirable. As a wife I’ve called it out because I won’t have a dishonest marriage.

[@dkonkel1]

This is very strange content for this channel. It sounds like he's been heavily influenced with the red pill perspective or something.

[@alqoshgirl]

Agreed! I honestly am tired of all these talks to. As a married woman of 9 years and with 5 kids I have no clue what people do in their marriages that require these super hard decision making moments where the husband has to put his foot down. Sounds to me you are in an incompatible marriage where the husband views the wife as inferior. My husband and I have never gotten in those situations. We just talk and discuss things and decide together without fighting or issues 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@dkonkel1]

@alqoshgirl couldn't agree more. 5 kids here too, everything is a team effort.

[@sidneybuckaloo]

100%!!! I’m so tired of this men versus women narrative that the red pill is pushing. I’m a Christian, conservative, stay at home mom, wife, and homesteader. I am the ideal they are always talking about. I can’t seem to understand why it’s a new talking point for men to talk about the lack of authenticity in women and how we’re shallow and that we need to be lead. I always ask these men who the women are in their lives that act like bratty toddlers. They usually don’t know any, which makes my point.

[@magnoliam4159]

⁠@@alqoshgirlI listen to his wife’s podcast. I assure you they have a beautiful marriage and love each other very much. They have four children and have been married probably around 15 years. They do Podcasts together sometimes too.

[@alqoshgirl]

@@magnoliam4159 I know him and his wife well. I wasn’t talking about their marriage. His comments here are strange given what I know about him. Because these are the exact words from the red pill movement that I reject and I know he does too.

[@KyleVaughan1996]

Just show her the scripture about paying the marital debt. And then lead from there, this means you’re going to have to pay that debt as well by the way. Set the tone, be a man, lead.

[@Seliz463]

Well that doesn’t mean a wife should have sex when she feels unloved, psychological unsafe, or unheard. It means neither party uses sex as a tool for leverage and power. It’s pretty important to be careful if you discuss that scripture with your wife that you’re not suggesting she has to have sex even if she feels unloved

[@KyleVaughan1996]

@@Seliz463 It goes both ways. It’s pretty clear that the term martial debt is straightforward. Again, this goes for both parties. If someone is trying to conceive, they aren’t always feeling butterflies, yet the union still occurs. It’s a duty to each of the spouses, men included.

[@Seliz463]

@@KyleVaughan1996that sounds like a misuse of sex. Christopher West discusses how he was feeling used by how his wife was timing sex specifically to conceive, and ultimately she apologized and they did not have sex that cycle because they needed to reset. You are not supposed to just have sex when you don’t feel loved, or worse-used, by your spouse. That’s not what the “marital debt” concept is about. Also there is hardly a faster way to turn off a woman than to point to the Bible and tell her she has to have sex with you. Not exactly a romance producer, nor remotely respectful of her or of yourself. Can’t imagine a man feeling dignified for having to resort to that. Or a woman, if it were reversed like in West’s case.

[@KyleVaughan1996]

@@Seliz463 Have you read the scripture?

[@KingoftheJuice18]

There are so many things wrong with this clip that it's hard to fit them all into a YT comment. They fall into two main categories, psychological and biblical: (1) There's so much faulty, amateur psychology happening here. Women were also taken care of by their mothers that way, so on his logic all women should be lesbians. (2) A healthy marriage is a genuine partnership, not treating your wife like a child who will appreciate it later when she grows up. (3) Has this man ever heard of love and passion? Has he ever read The Song of Songs? I guess he'd say the author of that biblical book "hasn't grown up." (4) In Genesis 2 Scripture states that a man is literally destined to "cling" to his woman and become one flesh with her. What this dude calls the motive for "simping" is the Divinely ordered nature of life.

[@michaelsterling2650]

@@KingoftheJuice18 it’s an awkward clip, for sure. I’d offer that the full video and conversation will, hopefully, be less problematic. I haven’t listen to the entire conversation yet, myself, but am usually surprised how out of context KZbin shorts seem to be.

[@KingoftheJuice18]

@@michaelsterling2650 It's a fair point to say that short clips may be improved upon or corrected by the fuller context. But it's also true that if one bite of a steak tastes quite strange and off-putting that doesn't bode well for the rest of it.

[@thinker646]

Thank you. I wonder if he is confessing his own sins. Im increasingly bothered by the man must lead theology but i appreciate your incisive analysis

[@michaelsterling2650]

@@KingoftheJuice18 I’m not disagreeing with your hesitancy. Even releasing this short gives me pause. However, Matt Fradd typically produces thoughtful content, so I’ll wait for the full video.

[@KingoftheJuice18]

@@thinker646 I appreciate your reply. Besides other points, remember that when Sarah told Abraham that he should send Hagar and Ishmael away, God told him to obey Sarah in whatever she says about the situation. God doesn't tell Sarah to follow Abraham's husbandly leadership.

[@buzzzzzd]

I think that you should look into the translation of "ezer k'nebo", Matt. I hope you're not rethinking the way you treat your wife because of some internet "alpha male" bollocks. Youre going down that road with this way of thinking. I dont recommend you follow it any further. You will hurt your entire family.

[@God_my_Savior]

What’s simping? 😂

[@sidneybuckaloo]

I agree with this mostly. I don’t agree that my husband makes the decisions. That’s just not how my marriage works. There are things that I obviously make decisions on and things he obviously makes decisions on, but we ALWAYS talk these things through together before the one makes the decision.

[@bumponalog5001]

Then your marriage is not reflecting Church teaching. Just the truth.

[@johnnypop-tart335]

how is respecting your wife's boundaries simping? You're supposed to be emotionally dependent on your wife because that's her job. And it's your job to her too. You sound delusional.

[@bruin4Christ]

Sorry friend, but God’s design a husband has good and natural “needs” that cannot be resolved by other means. Is not “infantile” to need somebody, unless you’re tossed like the waves of the sea. The second part you said was true about making decisions.

[@elizabethmanwaring3940]

Jesus' idea of leadership was washing people's feet. I don't see too many husbands willing to do that. Also, the man is supposed to love the wife like his own body. Not much of that going around either. Perhaps if the love and servant leadership came first, the wife's willingness to follow wouldn't be such an issue.

[@bumponalog5001]

That’s not how it works lol.

[@elizabethmanwaring3940]

@@bumponalog5001 It's definitely not how it works IRL, you're right. Most people are far too selfish for that kind of radical love.

[@nicholasnelson6876]

Dumbest take ever.

[@LibreVisionNetwork]

How pathetic this has turn into the point NOW You're trying 2 be Andrew Tate light ?😒

[@verum-in-omnibus1035]

Honestly, that sounds like a very deeply personal revelation you just shared on your podcast. There have been several instances where your wife’s “illness“ has created issues in your marriage. Anyone who has been paying attention for the last few years can read between the lines that you have been denied the marital debt. And often. I’m sorry that was the case, I hope it has been resolved. But it was very obvious to any Catholic paying attention to you and your wife over the past couple years . Proper Leadership, even when it creates conflict in decisions does not stop the romance in the bedroom.

[@josephmiller3672]

Super strange comment, but why did you put scare quotes around illness?

[@GuadalupePicasso]

Are you suggesting that Cameron, Matt’s wife, wasn’t actually sick, and that they’re saying this was actually just a front to hide the fact that Matt’s essentially been in the doghouse?

[@ornange]

I hope you double think your comment. Who are you.. or any of us to comment on anyone's marriage. Personally- and even as a single celibate woman- I relate to this video. I realized why I am not attracted to the type of of men (simps) he just explained .. and it made perfect sense.. I was leading too much instead of being led. Please rethink this comment. God bless.

[@bradyhayes7911]

Are you implying Cameron is faking her illness to avoid having sex with Matt? Why would you even speculate on something like that? I can't imagine what would make someone feel comfortable commenting this lol