Are You Wrong for Not Wanting to Reconcile Your Marriage?

[@Bike4Life231]

Yes. I can completely relate to your example about abuse continuing after saying he will change. About being in the ICU after he hit you with a car, but still expecting you to make dinner and have sex. The pattern of my 20 year marriage is so much like that. There has not been true repentance or changed behavior after abuse. There has been, however, many times when I've had physical illness, fatigue, hormonal problems, etc and he still expected the status quo. Still coercive and shaming to get sex, still expects me to bear the full load of caring for our children, still expects me to make dinner from scratch, still expects me to run the kids everywhere, still expects me to do yardwork... On and on. No self awareness. No changed behavior. Not even an apology or any empathy. I decided to leave him and get my kids away from his hurtful behavior and make a safe environment for us. I've waited 20 years for change, and I can't wait anymore. He doesn't want to sing that new song, so I'm going to create new history by myself and finding healing for myself and our kids. Thank you for your ministry, Leslie and Diana. Thank you for speaking truth.

[@MadQueen772]

Leslie is wise and it takes courage to speak up for women and children and to call it what it’s is when someone sins against you over and over again in intimate relationships:abuse. Even many women won’t speak up and are often big critics of women who just don’t wish to continue in destructive relationships. That needs to change, but it will take courage.

[@em77775]

Thank you ladies for validating women like me. It took years but God showed me the same, that it was no longer good for me or him for me to keep holding on for change that I wasn't going to see and how letting him go so God can deal with him was the only way we would see change. That was the greatest sacrifice I've ever made. God wants us to deal with things as they are in reality and not how we wish they were.

[@Star-dj1kw]

Leslie tells the story of Zacchaeus with beautiful grace 💝 I just love to hear her talk about Zacchaeus’ repentance and joyful restitution to his victims.

[@KeriEllington-y8e]

I tried to live with someone without reconciliation on many issues and then he didn’t feel connected and started talking to other girls and talking about moving out. So I left.

[@kathygildea2025]

Trust, respect, repentance, Walking away from sin, and walking toward Him. Beautiful!

[@conniebaker403]

Reconciliation requires that the offender apologize for the specific offense they committed that broke trust. Not just a blanket "I'm sorry I hurt you or pushed your buttons" etc...

[@kathygildea2025]

Leslie, I love your posts. I have been following for awhile. Thankyou for all of your wonderful help. You and your team have been such a gift🙏🏻❤️

[@zuuumbaaa]

50:40 besides self awareness and willingness to receive feedback they also have to recognize the impact that their slip ups have on their spouse + commit to a concrete plan about what he’s going to do about his old destructive behaviors coming back. We need to see true repentance and fruit before accepting them back into a relationship. Also, I don’t think it’s our responsibility to spoon feed them this information…they should go and figure it out themselves with the appropriate help that HE decides to go seek.

[@gobigandgohomeschool4882]

Agreed. I wasted so much time and mental energy trying to figure out how to spoon feed this. Not my job.

[@monaperry2635]

I'm in a similar situation, separated due to my husband's alcoholism and behaviour patterns, I am in therapy, my husband acknowledges he has issues but refuses to get any help to address his issues. Isn't repentance taking action to address and get treatment for the issue. I have such a dilemma about this because I desire reconciliation but I feel I need to hold my boundaries till he takes action.

[@lucianamehawej6874]

Amazing! Thank you for your shared wisdom.

[@gobigandgohomeschool4882]

Every one of these recordings hold a gem (or five) for me to take with me.

[@KeriEllington-y8e]

Do you have any advice for trauma bonds? How to break them?

[@juliegamby4363]

Always love your videos Leslie! They are helping me tremendously during a really tough time in my marriage. You have helped me build courage and make the wise decisions. Could I get the replay to this webinar "I'm not ok if you're not ok?"

[@renearosser1466]

Does God really turn his back on us when we sin? Leslie gave the example of God correcting her in her car. Without condemnation. That helped me see that God isn’t always out to get me. Then it was destroyed when the other lady said God turns his back to us. Any info?

[@m.i.n.d.y]

I think it was a poor choice of words. When we accept God into our hearts we do not have to worry about him turning away and abandoning us. We might sin and feel that distance between us and God, like when you hurt a friend, but that does not mean that he gives up on us or is just there to condemn us. The world and religion may make us feel that way, but God came to set us free and to redeem our relationship with him and to be close to us if we let him.

[@renearosser1466]

@@m.i.n.d.y I hope you are right.

[@dalyerin]

I'm here. It actually notified me.

[@lizhyde6101]

My husband doesn't want accountability for himself. He likes to do whatever he does. He will not get married again, so he can be free to come and go.

[@kimberlyisme]

I would think reconciliation would mean restoration of intimacy.

[@jmo4521]

I think Leslie’s face lift, fillers and Botox looks great!

[@sherylj586]

Question: what about when someone's feelings are hurt because you spoke up or set a boundary?

[@ivonnegilbreath8056]

Thank you!!!!7❤️🥰😇🕊️🙏🌎