Area Species Accidentally Insults Fallen Empire

What's happening in your cluster? Catch up on all the latest headlines with the Xenonion News team; Unity Albright on the newsdesk, Lurgg The Impaler on Sports, and Cindy in the 24/7/365 Xenonion Weather Sentry Array.
Tonight's top stories: UNE president Jeffrey Rossario faces corruption charges over possible misuse of influence to rig elections, the search for the missing Space Amoeba bubbles continues, a new study suggests we're all trapped inside a computer simulation, and diplomats are scrambling to minimize damage after a one-planet minor accidentally insults a Fallen Empire.
Xenonion News: The galaxy's most trusted news source - according to four out of the five arthropods we nerve stapled.
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Copyright:
► Voiceover: Unity - Discord @CCRockChic, Announcer - Fiverr @Bill Mehner, Hask - Fiverr @yourhighness
► Animations / Graphics: Under license from MotionVFX, facial animations by @gallywix (Fiverr)
► Audio: 'Countdown' and 'Transmission' under license from Premium Beat
*All other content copyright to Paradox Interactive Studios; we are not affiliated with them and do not represent their views.
#Xenonion #XenonionNews #Headlines #Stellaris #Paradox #SciFi #Parody

[@A_Spec]

Thanks Xenonion News, for keeping the news balanced and fair.

[@ottoleois9323]

No reports on Machine Intelligence movements in NW Galactic corner. Possibly will be covered in later reports.

[@Subchilles]

They should make this a DLC

[@chairmeme6231]

What about those Pre FTL freaks near the sufer system

[@jagothegamer5750]

*CNN IS DEAD! LONG LIVE XENONION NEWS!*

[@ottoleois9323]

@@jagothegamer5750 What was SHALL BE! XENONION NEWS WILL COVER THE ENTIRE GALACTIC NEWS MARKET!

[@sieda666]

"... he's confident the cooperative's 5 corvettes will keep them safe." I laughed harder than I should have at that one.

[@garcalej]

What he meant to say was "those five ships will keep us (the leadership) safe while we slip away."

[@gideonmele1556]

*Refugee event pops up* “huh... what’s this?”

[@abbyalphonse499]

@@gideonmele1556 Purge type : *chemical processing*

[@seneca983]

They just need to build 5 more corvettes and they can make a totally invincible fleet. (Explained in the second half of the following video.) kzbin.info/www/bejne/mIPcnYBui6iJjpo

[@agbottan]

I grimmed at it too... This channel is unespectedly funny.

[@nathanbenicio6835]

"what's a fallen empire? can't they get up?" when I saw this, *I knew death was coming.*

[@Novocaino_GG]

Lmao XD

[@jchea1764]

Fallen empire : oh .. you've done it now..

[@kerbodynamicx472]

Fallen empires can only punish other species. They don’t completely wipe out empires…

[@kerbodynamicx472]

Nah, fallen empire don't kill empires, they can only humiliate others

[@georgiishmakov9588]

they can't get it up

[@StarboyXL9]

"Neighboring species are holding pre-emptive memorial services" My sides!

[@sr.favopossodeixarvaziosim4595]

"Human datanet chat logs mysteriously swamped by spam of the sixth letter of their latin alphabet. The meaning of this gesture is unknown to us at the time."

[@torinjones3221]

Wth is a fallen empire can't they get up lmao

[@PerfectAlibi1]

Fallen empires are actually just technology pinâta's, just waiting to be wacked open. ^^

[@calmdown5559]

@@PerfectAlibi1 That was a tweet from the nation

[@sirmullich4088]

Maybe they should ask their local geo-engineer about Mastery of Nature(TM)

[@PerfectAlibi1]

@@calmdown5559 Tweet from who now?!

[@calmdown5559]

@@PerfectAlibi1 In the video. It showed a little slideshow of tweets from the nation.

[@AtlantisStuart]

2:27 it would be such an advanced and efficient language that express such a long sentence in less a second. Fascinating.

[@guerinileonardo562]

Have you tried with the subtitles?

[@birb125]

@@guerinileonardo562 my god so complex

[@ayindephulgence4950]

@@guerinileonardo562 damn

[@KitKatHexe]

@@guerinileonardo562 my favorite line is "I go especially well with white wine."

[@guerinileonardo562]

@@KitKatHexe is my favourite line too😂

[@baconsir1159]

I remember in my last Stellaris game, I had the following thought "I need more influence, but it's not like I can just buy it. This isn't real life."

[@DoctorFail]

Console commands are your friend

[@howdydobuckeroo1204]

High class comedy

[@SilentCl0wd]

@@DoctorFail which command tho I've been trying all of them but can't seem to find which one use influence and I'm still trying to get Dragon Season and Gray

[@DoctorFail]

@@SilentCl0wdInfluence 999

[@Psychosmurf5471]

Probably the least realistic aspect of the game.

[@SirDankleberry]

That "oh... OH.... oh god" is the perfect reaction when you accidentally or intentionally piss off a Fallen Empire when you first started playing.

[@niallreid7664]

"Wow, a free Gaia world!"

[@rood6422]

​​@@niallreid7664his was my mistake, they glassed everything 😂

[@YourLocalMairaaboo]

I came pre-prepared, so I knew to prepare. When I finally provoked one into war... Well, my vassal served as ablative armor while I blitzed their systems. Good fleet coordination (and an oversized economy) saw their fleet obliterated. Longest part was building up the ground assault armies and selecting a general that reduced collateral damage. The zenophobe fallen empire, dissolved in one war.

[@bakersmileyface]

2:26 *"We have made a grave error and on behalf of my species I sincerely apologise to the Vroth. These are certainly concerning times and the geo-political situation in our region of space has never been more tense. I hope through establishing a dialogue we can relay that this was all a misunderstanding and that in time we can be forgiven for our actions. We would also be happy to sacrifice a select, delicious, sub-section of our population as a peace offering to the Vroth, if they so choose. I go especially well with white wine."*

[@DrFunkman]

I’ll be damned, that’s what it actually says

[@AJChagnon]

bakersmileyface how long did it take you to learn Caawian? I’ve been struggling

[@bartomiejpopielarz8283]

@@AJChagnon About a few decades. It's a bit of a wasted effort since it's a dead language now.

[@abbyalphonse499]

@@bartomiejpopielarz8283 Dead delicious.

[@Anastas1786]

@@AJChagnon Depending on your species, you might need implants, carvings, or firmware updates in order to make all the sounds correctly. People on the forums for Omnilingo's Caawian lessons suggest that _biological_ implants are the best at helping non-Avians sound like natives, but I've heard rumors among my fellow language lovers about a _technological_ implant nearing release that gets you near-flawless results _and_ can switch between configurations to allow you to still speak other languages. If you love languages like I do and your kind has throats and/or communicates by forcing air through a variably-shaped tube, I recommend holding out for the tech.

[@thebeber2546]

Well about 300 fleetpower is definitely higher than 200 (if you leave out the K)

[@The_Art_Style]

5 corvette is about 100

[@AsbestosMuffins]

depends if you're min-maxing against their shields

[@alexandererhard2516]

~2:40 to 2:55 They claim their 5 Corvettes will keep them save from 200k fleet power battleships. Well if the Battleships are all using large weapons with low combined accuracy and tracking and the Corvettes have high enough evasion, they might be correct in their statement.

[@badpiggies988]

And if they have space amoeba-inspired regen properties (a “rare” technology) and weapons that are accurate and can deal lots of damage to the FE’s hull types

[@KING-ef2wm]

@@badpiggies988 I think they said thet they will ask the Horor of the Void to give them a helping hand.

[@ThatSlowTypingGuy]

It's unfortunate that Fallen Empire Battlecruisers all have fighters or this might actually work.

[@ruukinen]

Even if your assumptions are true maximum evasion is 90% so their odds are pretty slim even then.

[@llamallamapajama9571]

"You know, I used to hate all Organic life but now i'll make an exception for Space Ameobas. I feel bad for bubble" Warform A-UH165

[@The_Goose2]

Alert a pop has been disconnected from the collective conciousness auto initiating purge mechanic

[@SMmania123]

I would kill for a Xenonion News DLC XD! Imagine having commentary about your actions like this! That'd be so cool!

[@Khobotov]

That would be awesome.

[@Speedy4417]

please yes, idec how much it costs, take my 100 bucks, I need it!

[@ramiel7666]

Like the advisors from the old Civ games? That would be awesome.....

[@MalekitGJ]

​@@ramiel7666 more like the first two Master of Orion

[@jakeadnams]

PLEASE PARADOX GIVE THE PEOPLE A VOICE!!!

[@oskarnowak2816]

The ONLY source of galactic news!

[@Simalacrum]

As in, literally no other source exists...

[@hugebuffman3619]

*laughs in villager news*

[@auramaster2068]

@@hugebuffman3619 Hmmmm

[@DrFunkman]

The only source ever since since the tragedy of Zandar 3 News

[@alphariusfuze8089]

*Indeed*

[@1967sluggy]

I love Xenonion. I love the worm. I love Xenonion. I love the worm.

[@voidableboar9935]

What was will be

[@voidableboar9935]

TIME IS SIGHT

[@wyrmkintoothgrim1174]

WHAT WAS WILL BE

[@TheSYLOH]

@@voidableboar9935 GRAVITY IS DESIRE

[@fieldy409]

I just killed the worm.

[@user-wb7ez9ud4p]

Also, the shortage of tile blockers are really affecting the jobs in our galaxy, grandpa Joe in the neighboring district just lost his job as a tile construction worker. We need to bring jobs back!

[@youhengchen9675]

little horses.

[@guilhermeroyama8842]

Then stop voting for Torba'Jirg you jirgtards!

[@ibtaba]

Have you tried the off brand "tile inhibitors", just as good but 300 credits less per natic-ounce

[@Doomcharger]

@@ibtaba A Tile Inhibitor broke on my world. Now there's just a large square hole where my apartment building once stood. Funny thing is... the tile, itself, is on the other side of the planet.

[@MrRedcarpet02]

Donald's Demonics and make the Fallen Empires pay for it! They’ve got the money! We can make THEM pay for it!

[@leftfootfirstpolitics]

"If you're joining us psionically via the Shroud, just think about extra news real hard." Ah, yes. The spiritualist ascension pathway in a nutshell.

[@jagothegamer5750]

I feel like Lurgg the impaler should have his own sitcom.

[@bruhfunnies3441]

JagotheGamer Lurgg definitely carries the show, his talent is wasted on the news.

[@EinFelsbrocken]

He is what the people want! ...at leas...in one way or another

[@tanith117]

No matter how much we evolve, People love Blood sports.

[@Greyspecies9999]

"delicious looking *bird*" *That says a lot about society.

[@MaskofPoesy]

This channel deserves to grow faster.

[@asoru5573]

damn you right

[@Peter_Turbo4]

Oh Yeah Yeah

[@sp.v.207]

Hope the tiles around don't get alien survey soon.

[@johnnycrenshaw9438]

“Diplomatic relations break down as one planet minor insults a fallen empire. Neighboring systems hold a preemptive memorial services.”

[@Nhujj]

Is this the greatest thing I’ve ever seen, yes, yes it is

[@cloudsin8748]

Noo! Bubbles, where art though!

[@beckettthompson4744]

They found the ether drake

[@taelim6599]

Your bubbles went pop pop and its bones went crunch crunch, and now it's your turn to tickle the inside of my belly, tiny creatures.

[@LuckyBird551]

Who names the Ameba "Bubbles"? I named mine Thundercharge the Extreme-inator

[@PerfectAlibi1]

@@beckettthompson4744 She found the hatchling Ether drake and they ran off together? As even for the large space born aliens, xeno-compatibility works XD

[@Peter_Turbo4]

@@taelim6599 *[throws 80 spinal-mount battleships at the problem]*

[@scaper12123]

Xenonian is absolutely the best source for Galactic news

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

@Kyle Blank I guess somebody has been swallowing Beauclair propaganda

[@rifleman2c997]

The ticker! "Species hold preemptive memorial service."

[@kane2875]

Careful,news tickers cause eye rot!

[@xYamakaze]

NOT BUBBLES! WHY CAN'T THE SENTRY ARRAY FIND BUBBLES!?

[@beckettthompson4744]

We’re busy with scanning all the worlds to see their tiles. Industrial wastelands and dense jungles don’t just appear due to bureaucratic incompetence and years of letting trees grow freely.

[@theomnissiah-9120]

Try checking the L cluster

[@abbyalphonse499]

@@theomnissiah-9120 We did, but the gray tempest wiped out all of our fleets.

[@Curly_Horse]

2:21 His reaction is fantastic! I hope they survives to the Fallen Empire somehow.

[@jemand1944]

This is the first vid I found from this channel. This channel is like a goldmine for Stellaris fans.

[@KanetheSpaceWolf]

Plume of Teal has such a way with words

[@Jay2480]

*tasty looking bird

[@ricardogens9834]

We need more Xenonion, and more often.

[@junkoxeno_7734]

Now, you see, Jerry, this is why we dont call the big 3-jawed monsters with the big guns a poopnose.

[@fredtwo8347]

2:58 I can't believe I actually blinked twice

[@MisF1998]

BE SURE to turn on the captions or subtitles, you'll see more! Esp. 2:28

[@beckettthompson4744]

He goes well with white wine. Good to know... Alright Jazek, fire the the turbo-laser batteries!

[@owellwellwell2418]

Wow, now that's detail most YT channels dont include.

[@CoffeeSuccubus]

In my cluster, apparently, the Xiarblargh Confederation's entire navy keeps circling around a random planet So this is accurate

[@juliusmoe-nstar8942]

I wish my galaxy had Xenonion News.

[@tach5884]

Seriously, moders get on it

[@weaponizedpizza8825]

The tileblocker problem is seriously affecting our pre-FTL culture. Before long there will be no canyons, volcanoes, or even any exotic animals outside of the few in captivity, all of them removed to make way for more infrastructure. What will happen next? Will our grandchildren not know what an ocean looks like when we siphon out all the water, just to make some more mines?

[@Zones33]

When if this is actually the news in 500 years

[@veganmonter]

Xen-onion! [Yells] I get it! This is amazing.

[@beckettthompson4744]

I thought it was Xeno-nion

[@infantrytactics1233]

Subbed! This is absolutely hilarious!

[@uygarbaskaya4439]

''Tasty looking bird'' , ''Delicious looking bird'' Great subtitles.

[@wyrmkintoothgrim1174]

HAK!

[@MonMalthias]

MUGANI?!

[@pepsiman6181]

Hunters: *target aquired*

[@voidableboar9935]

hak?

[@wyrmkintoothgrim1174]

HAK HAK!

[@amraniussilber5244]

**hiss**

[@Ajc-ni3xn]

1:41 “and Caawian representative, tasty looking bird” Looks like the captioner’s a food processing empire, boys.

[@janedoe4929]

Aspec sent me here. :)

[@skullcrsher4946]

I’m glad they admit that the only good name for the space amoeba is Bubbles

[@scoot.112]

R.I.P unity Albright

[@TheCzarcastic]

To be fair, my first ever game, I claimed a fallen empire's system and tried to get it via war. Rip dear leader

[@beckettthompson4744]

*sends a 1.5k power fleet to a fallen empire system* *Sees the 100k power fleet rushing towards theirs* Well crap

[@rastajeff9625]

Drama Alert but in space

[@daedalusdreamjournal5925]

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! This is one of the best Stellaris video I have ever seen .... also be sure to put the caption for the translation of the Caawian representative (man, I thought that bird would never shut up, such a long speech!) :P Keep up the good work ;)

[@badpiggies988]

My favorite part was when the velociraptor said “Caw!”

[@Hodoss]

The extermination of the Caawian was a huge loss for the galaxy. They went so well with white wine.

[@tam504]

Stellaris should have a live events news or radio station DLC by now.

[@Davidofthelost]

In the DLC it only unlocks after you join a federation and reacts to your decisions and the AI or other players.

[@fii_89639]

"Traffic delays as Unbidden invasion of outer rim continues, death toll now at 11.7 trillion" LOL, endgame crisis, so far into the ticker and not even mentioned

[@badpiggies988]

“Pre-emptive funeral services” purged all my pops lmao

[@thegooddinggleberry]

5 corvettes😂. What is your God? The SpiffingBrit😐

[@ragzaugustus]

I just noticed the ticket news about the Unbidden eating the Outer Colonies, now that's funny.

[@ravenknight4876]

They're featured in another video on this channel

[@beckettthompson4744]

The Unbidden are eating all the empires we were going to eat! -Murdering Swarm

[@tnynfox1669]

Hostile wildlife are the only tile blocker worth saving. They're sentient beings too, even if they don't know what a mining station is.

[@auraguard0212]

"No Regrets" being misspelled is great. XD

[@haydenbarnard6078]

Ah yes, our 5 corvettes will protect us from a invading fleet!

[@Hexagon666]

I subbed immediately after hearing „Bubbles“ This is so awesome!

[@MadTurnip]

I've just found this channel, immediately subscribed. I love the amount of stories you can get in Stellaris without even looking for them.

[@jcola477]

2:26 "Delicious looking bird" that's such a nice detail.

[@masonwong8007]

Imagine being so fucking rich that you build a sentry array literally just to monitor the weather.

[@shawngillogly6873]

Now funnier than the real Onion has become.

[@ryanpiercy3390]

5 corvettes vs several 200k power fleets..... there won't be intact molecules from that slaughter.

[@johuotar]

Tileblocker shortage made me laugh out loud

[@williambaxter941]

If I had never played Stellaris and you told me this was a teaser for a Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy movie, frankly I would believe you

[@ihatebalrog]

This is one of the most underrated channels out there! Keep up the good work!

[@homefront1999]

It took me a while to understand the questline with the galaxy being a virtual reality simulation and it actually just being the video game itself.

[@artificialgravitas8954]

Please make more of this, these videos are so well made!

[@Lady_in_Yearning]

This is hysterical! Wish I'd found this channel sooner. Subbed!

[@oliversmalley7771]

This entire video is just the largest mood

[@codyw1023]

i would watch a whole season of this

[@TheSubAtomicHedgehog]

I'm so glad i found this

[@gregspoony7691]

My same reaction to fallen empires I start to fuck with and realize my mistake.

[@Ultrawup]

Damn, they were right about the tile blockers, they're all gone

[@SebHaarfagre]

1:40 Subtitles "tasty looking bird" LOL 😂 Edit: And 3:04 excellent 😁

[@alterranlongbow5067]

So long as one planet belongs to an ai there will never be a shortage of tile blockers

[@tnynfox1669]

The Caawian are a unique and beautiful form of life. The Vroth Combine will know very well my Focused Arc Lightning.

[@wolfenstien13]

Turn the close captions on.

[@Chujoi0]

We love xenonion . Entire Swarm can know even more than everything with it.

[@cipolettan2621]

Make more of those! You deserve to grow bigger!

[@bonnypop5764]

What... Did... I just... Stumble into?

[@ANGLO-BRYTHONIC96]

Why have I only discovered this channel! This is great stuff!

[@KingMoronProductions]

This is really excellent work, all of you. Wonderful stuff :)

[@yutahkotomi1195]

I just discovered this channel and it's very very nice! Love all the little references and jokes!!! You have yourself a new subscriber! :D

[@isaiahgrey2458]

In light of U.S media disintegration, I've turned to Xenonion so I can stay informed!

[@LaurentK]

This is great haha

[@TheBronzeDog]

Rewatched for the ticker. "Public Institute of Space Health (PISH) Advisory warns watching news tickers like this may be linked to rising cases of eye rot." Uh-oh.

[@randomquestion7592]

This is quality content, thanks!

[@archonofcommorragh1221]

Loved it. Need more!

[@2000yearOldYogiAspirant]

I have always needed this but didn't know, instant sub

[@Narukoopa]

I just discovered this channel and I already love it.

[@Dagens24]

Why am I just finding this channel now? This is gold!

[@toffeecrisp2146]

This needs to be an actual dlc, one actually worth buying

[@FireRevanShadow]

I need more of this

[@ozarkstate]

Bro I'm in tears.

[@Wax_Man]

this was really well done

[@RoboMuskVsLizardZuckerberg]

NOOO. they not name the Space Amoeba FLUFFY!

[@Tarvalion]

“After he became distracted by a shiny object and began furiously pecking at it” Made me laugh so fucking hard, lmao

[@swardinc]

when you realize that you poked a fallen empire followed by..............when you realized what a fallen empire can do =P

[@alphaghoul]

Are they seriously gonna kill people over insults? Can’t they just throw insults back? One of their politicians interrupted his own conference to peck at something shiny, that gold material right there! Not to mention I think that their embassy got banned.