Artificial Phallus Safety in the Shower & Beyond with Trixie and Katya | The Bald and the Beautiful

This episode of Bald is proudly brought to you by the National Bathroom Sex Toy Safety Council, reminding you to always follow the three W's before your wet 'n wild adventures: "Wash, Warm-Up, & WERK." As winter stretches its legs for one last sprint before Spring arrives, we'd like to remind our listeners to follow the most important rules of the Bathroom Dildo Doctrine: 1) Always test the suction of the dildo on your shower wall prior to use, in order to properly gauge the strength of the suction in the face of strong shearing forces. 2) Measure the circumference of the dildo to ensure a smooth entry and exit, thereby guaranteeing a pleasurable experience for all participating parties. 3) To avoid being impaled by the dildo in what can only be described as "the bad type of hurt," make sure the shower floor is covered in a non-slip surface for maximum safety. This public service announcement has been brought to you by the editorial staff of BALD, LLC, as well as the fine folks at the National Bathroom Sex Toy Safety Council.
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About the Podcast:
F*ggy Bald f**ks by day, wildly successful crossdressing bombshells by night. The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamo feature a pair of grizzled gay ghouls exploring the culture boundaries of modern beauty through interviews with gorgeous guests who inhabit various facets of the beauty industry. From models, moguls, influencers, drag queens, adult performers, actors, and more, RuPaul’s Drag Race veterans Trixie and Katya break down the beauty behind it all.
#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful

[@kelsonl6084]

"You can't be racist without a good healthy dose of just plain old fashioned stupidity" -Katya, 2023

[@RecoveringChristian]

Sorry, the trailer has been ratio'd to oblivion. The racism argument falls apart with Wakanda Forever and other franchises with black characters that are universally loved that haven't been down voted like this by all the racists out there. Love Katya, but generalizing it all as just racism is too lazy and imprecise. Vis a vis on the other side where actual racists and "libertarians" are downplaying and sanitizing the actual racism directed at The Little Mermaid and the actress as just "some words". It's the same "woke" argument happening with Peter Pan and Wendy right now. That happened with Mulan 2020. etc etc etc.

[@juno3281]

@@RecoveringChristian i don’t see how that has anything to do with racists being generally unintelligent. intelligence is being self aware and using critical thinking skills, so when someone does the opposite of that they’re probably just dumb.

[@RecoveringChristian]

@@juno3281 this quote is directly from Katya referencing the backlash against Halle being cast as Ariel bc "woke". It's the same argument the actor herself used against ALL (not some) ALL criticism. It's not truthful. Katya knows better, shes self aware, in this same podcasts she references Tar and the "problematic" composers with an eyeroll, etc, yet she bought wholesale into this VERY broad stroke of "cuz racism". The new trailer solidifies this. It's just not good, as good as we had hoped for, not helped by the "wokeness" of it all.

[@gingerdog8203]

​​@@RecoveringChristian the comment was referencing her calling racists stupid, not the little mermaid. Also, stop using "woke".

[@RecoveringChristian]

@@gingerdog8203 which racists??? The one's she generalized that are going after the Little Mermaid being black instead of Dutch. Stop gatekeeping woke. Woke woke woke. Thanks for reminding me why me and many others have stopped watching drag race and being a part of this lovely "fandom".

[@tarra5033]

Trixie: “i’m tryna watch more things” Katya: *suggests a show* Trixie: “TV’s just not a priority to me” 💀💀 28:16

[@trixiematelsdognanny6098]

When a couple is together long enough, they start dressing alike

[@sallyedwards1268]

Trixie referring to her partner of many years by his full name will never not be funny to me

[@ResidentKen]

I think so too haha. To be fair, there are two Davids in their lives so it’s just to distinguish I guess hahaha

[@Imberis]

Honestly, I am fine with this podcast being Katya going "You HAVE to watch this!" and then vaguely explaining the premise of a film while Trixie talks about her comic books.

[@marielle4533]

Trixie is to Watchmen as Katya is to Contact

[@zachpelletier]

At 45:10, put headphones in - after trixie says “beep beep,” I swear to GOD you can quietly hear a car in the background make a “beep beep” noise and THAT is the psychic behavior we admire from the pod

[@brookelily5055]

I HEAR IT TOO Miss Trixie is definitely psychic

[@conceitedperson78]

ohFuck! I heard it!

[@AmberLouster]

Katya recording an ad with her sick voice is as strategic as it is a gift 🫠

[@nahimgood4]

I was so WONDERFULLY caught off guard🤭

[@emerson1998]

Trixie: i'm psychic Ma'am you are using deductive skills

[@KingOfGaymes]

She SAID she’s PSYCHIC

[@SactownOwen]

Katya is at her wisest and most correct on ALL POINTS today.

[@austintipo]

I just kept sitting here staring at Tricia and thinking “I saw the fishnets. And they were ripped”

[@stragh8er214]

Pageant queen!

[@Qu33nMary444]

I can't stop looking at the fishnet !!!

[@MooMooFutch]

Probably clawed at by rabid sex crazed people!! 👀 **I’m looking in your direction, teenage lesbians** 👀

[@villainouslips]

Katya hyping up Fleishman is in Trouble and Trixie absorbing it all as if it’s brand new information and they haven’t already had this exact conversation

[@lifeofamakeupaddict420]

They have, right? I thought I was going crazy! 😂

[@amandadunn1383]

I think this episode was actually filmed first!

[@villainouslips]

@@amandadunn1383 I did think that too actually! There were a few things that seemed out of sequence

[@emkenobi]

The fact the two episodes of The Last Of Us that were centered around same-sex relationships were the only two episodes to be review bombed tells you Trixie was absolutely right 😔 there were literally Facebook groups being created by homophobes planning to mass review bomb the episodes as soon as they came out before even watching them

[@jbtfp]

it was the same with the second game, a lot of people hated the female antagonist because she didn’t look like a walking sex fantasy (amongst other reasons)

[@synthetic9500]

That's not the reason why people hated Abbie. If you pile all the criticism that The Last of Us 2 received on the attractiveness of a certain character, you're being just as narrow-minded and stupid as all the bigots whose opinions got mixed into the negative reviews.

[@Aaron-hv4hr]

People saying that those episodes weren’t necessary or didn’t contribute anything to the plot are just emotionally unintelligent and don’t understand that their stories help Joel and Ellie grow as characters.

[@krissykatisspooky]

My only complaint about the series is I needed 100 percent more Nick Offerman, but this is my complaint about anything he does.

[@usl4689]

@@Aaron-hv4hr I mean I get you but ep 3 went really in depth with the character backstory, I felt it was unnecessary because it didn’t contribute to the actual story. I mean it just didn’t, it could’ve been cut in half and the rest of the ep go back to Joel and Ellie. The ep about Ellie made absolute sense and frankly I wish it would’ve been longer because it offered a lot of interesting info relating directly to the main characters.

[@bram4310]

I was wondering you have been tuned into the upcoming Wisconsin Supreme Court election? Its so important and so scary: its a purple state that has been gerrymandered into a red legislature… so many things depend on this race… abortion rights, and democratic voters right to be represented by their portion of the vote! Its already most expensive judicial race in US history… Please, hopefully Trixie has some time to look into it and support Judge Janet and the progressive cause. Its majorly important.

[@ninafuentes04]

boosting🙌🏻

[@hcje3577]

Boost 🎉

[@rowanschreiber3892]

wisco boost

[@JustinFriello]

Boost!

[@CursedSkimMilk]

Ye old boost

[@hv9460]

love the pure confusion on katyas face after trixie said, "guess what he was watching?! Planet of the apes!" because of the 0 correlation her two statements had

[@alexanderalfaro8314]

19:55 For real I think Katya just casually talking about how chimpanzees and other primates are strong enough to rip people's faces off created Trixie's fear.

[@suzy3899]

It literally has mine 😂 considering I live in Milwaukee I have a very real fear of a monkey tearing off my face.

[@oldschoolabrahamhicks2742]

Have they ever discussed Everything Everywhere All At Once? Love to hear Katya's and Trix's thoughts on it! x

[@kyungsik]

Agreed!

[@emerson1998]

"Whatchu lookin in the garbage can for? Get OUT THE CAN!" My new life motto

[@yusha5728]

Katya gushing about classical music is the energy I'm all here for

[@alexmalex82]

"It's about racism" someone make this a meme. Love to you both x

[@duxesanchez9173]

The hair change at 50:24 looks like the original Barbie doll

[@MilesToGoGo]

The way that they have literally spoken about every single one of the tv shows and movies that they mention here in previous episodes is just pure insanity 😂😂😂😂 I can’t with these women

[@miguelt.4978]

Trixie referencing Eddy Burback (I think) is a crossover of two content creators I enjoy and never thought would happen 😂

[@isabellacordoba3450]

Finally they realized that they just can't end the pod eps with "bye!" 😂

[@davidwh2653]

as someone who doesn’t listen to podcasts i’ve always been fine with it lol. i’m like ok bye!! but then again i see the time on the episode and know it’s coming

[@josephcarolan5527]

I love that they do that though it never fails to make me laugh

[@katjau_]

29:10 Trixie saying "the movies are back" and "genre films just don't sell anymore" unprovoked and not knowing what people mean by that has me on the floor And then at 36:40 she doesn't even know about Tár 😭😭😭

[@Sn0w.4ngel]

I love my weekly dose of two biological women talking about tv shows I have never seen❤️

[@BooksRebound]

Honestly I LOVE when they talk about media so much.

[@maryinsanfrancisco]

"I'm trying to be prepared." I feel you, girl. Ain't nobody coming over but you still want your guest room to be dust-free and inviting.

[@CymbaletteJaneMS]

I need Katya to say "Gripped me by the nalgas" at least 10,000 more times.

[@basket.8case]

time stamp?

[@CymbaletteJaneMS]

@@basket.8case 23:07 and then again 23:14 😄

[@layma5113]

thank god Katya has finally spoken about "Manhunt"! she's so right, it's phenomenal and such a wild ride

[@lokiiago_x0x]

Loved that book so much.

[@yanoshgloxinia]

Literally about to go buy it, it sounds so good!!

[@amandaleemosey9629]

Who is the Author please? 😊

[@winniethefoolll]

@@amandaleemosey9629 gretchen felker-martin :)

[@MilesToGoGo]

I’m not really a big reader but I literally ordered it off Amazon the second she talked about it, it sounds incredible

[@rjs2035]

Trixie trust me when I tell you: Even if you’ve played TLOU, the show will DEFINITELY STILL SURPRISE YOU 😂

[@RecoveringChristian]

Some episodes felt very truncated despite the narrative that the storyline was "streamlined" for a tv format.

[@rjs2035]

@@RecoveringChristian I mean yeah that’s usually what happens when they take something like a game and make it into a show. I still think they did beyond amazing and it really exceeded my expectations still!

[@katiegregs]

soo trueee i also havent watched a playthrough in a while so i even forgot about some characters and plot points

[@rjs2035]

@@katiegregs I had only played it once and it was a few months after the game first came out. I saw they were making a show, so I started watching playthroughs and realized that 12 year old me picked up so little of the actual game plot lol 😅

[@RecoveringChristian]

@@rjs2035 it did not exceed my expectation, but it did really well. The casting was great, the acting was great, they adapted it well for tv. Just various moments felt shortened/shoe horned in.

[@maysayay]

I'm so happy Katya asked to and finished her story😂🙌

[@MooMooFutch]

Love that trixie has torn tights on. Relatable content.

[@snakey319]

Another great episode of Tracy and the Professor.

[@arrrtstarrr]

The pastiche is the format, theft is the technique 🧐

[@lois-annakaminski1381]

So much love to Katya and Trixie, two of my favourite humans on this planet. ❤❤

[@Sonsbitchesall]

Amen!

[@amberfuchs398]

at around 4:00 Trixie: What is that about?!?! Katya (without missing a beat): "It's about racism." I heart Katya!

[@amberfuchs398]

I super appreciate how smart Katya is. She's got a quick wit!

[@calebhkelley]

I would love it if Katya could actually tell us a story for once. Would love.

[@halfpine9952]

It’s in their contracts that she can’t

[@valentinexo7310]

yeah, i was excited for them to talk about promising young woman… then the interrupting began

[@iam2famous]

Is that something you want? Well let me tell you you're never gonna get it

[@bnicolette14]

tbf, trixie interrupts her own stories too. Lol it's so frustrating esp when I really wanna hear the end 😭

[@salwilk558]

The winding down is a much appreciated gesture

[@honeybadgergrrl77]

They both look so fucking amazing in this episode.

[@guestguest7543]

“I had two cookie edible marijuana cookies….” “Okay, this is part of it.” “Shhhhhh…. Shhhhhh…” 😂 38:07

[@saraheagleson325]

"you can stand up, sit down, or lay flat" really made me cry laughing

[@Worthywoerms]

Ok let’s hold on a second. Trixie, that better help ad was IT!!! Your vulnerability and the FACTS you spewed touched my soul, and made me feel seen, heard, and not alone. Thank you for that ❤️

[@socalledmel369]

The weather episode is such a mood booster. I watch it every so often just to teehee during the work week. Katya’s weather outfit is ICONIC. ❤

[@missholywater]

Trixie: I won’t spoil it for you *explains entire synopsis*

[@ironjellly]

I'm so happy Katyas favorite episode of unhhh is Weather lol

[@alanefideler7234]

Trixie: anything else about my drag that you hate? Me, to my computer: THE GAPING HOLE IN YOUR TIGHTS GURL

[@tobeygun]

that’s not the only thing gaping, uuunnhhhh.

[@alanefideler7234]

@@tobeygun goddamnit I missed the opportunity to call it a “gaping chasm”

[@sygilrose9545]

Especially given the critique to Betty Bittschlap in queen of the universe season 1 lol

[@gruweldaad]

The David eating breakfast story two episodes in a row!

[@ln4555]

I've been waiting for the TÁR review and Katya delivered without hesitation!

[@kim.96]

love tuning into my fave bi-weekly movie review podcast!

[@A.T._FIELD]

yes Mahler 5! classical is a one way trip, so glad Katya is on it

[@dreamb0at]

I love this podcast so much it really helps to just chill out and recenter myself I love you guys

[@juandiegomartinez2927]

Not Katya having already explained the plot of Fleishman Is In Trouble and Trixie asking again about the plot.

[@davidwh2653]

because of tar and my chorus singing the stuff at the end of symphony number 2, i listened to literally every single one of mahler’s symphonies and i fucking loved them

[@henriquefmq]

Watchmen is her Contact.

[@stephenburgess5710]

This is why I like to watch the adaptation first before reading the book. I can enjoy the adaptation totally and then when I read the book I can enjoy it even more.

[@aisha.a]

Live for Katya living for Tar, I've been obsessed since I watched it

[@karlrassmann4604]

Trixie is afraid of gorillas because they're one of the few species with hands big enough to snatch all of that FACE ✨✨✨

[@AnneOnymaus]

Really, they're one of the few species with hands.

[@IllegallyUnique]

UNHhhh and a Podcast. I love this month.

[@bennyhana97]

felt compelled to look up Manhunt because of Katya's gripping description; read an NPR review, and I am definitely grabbing that book as soon as I can.

[@ratedrachel3670]

Checked the comments because I couldn't catch the title properly lolol omg have you seen K11? Look up the trailer if you haven't

[@layma5113]

say goodbye to your wig, girl, it's so good

[@jams4368]

katya living for cate blanchett in tár is why i love her so much

[@adhoc7035]

"Why food is the worst fucking thing you possibly eat." "You won't believe. I was SHOCKED."

[@simplicitylost]

It’s true- the weather episode of UNHhhh is actually one of their best.

[@bonniegrrl]

I would watch/listen the HELL out of a Trixie & Katya True Crime podcast!!!!! DO IT PLEASE! ♥💀♥

[@sygilrose9545]

Should we start working on a publicly editable master doc of all the media references they make or no?

[@AnneOnymaus]

Maybe not publicly editable, though: you can guarantee someone would screw it up intentionally.

[@kaylinsmith6921]

The "LOVE THAT!" is giving In Living Color "Hated it!" 🤣😂

[@oldschoolabrahamhicks2742]

OMG I love their films discussions! They should do a separate film review pod lol x

[@TheShicksinator]

Dying to hear Trixie's reaction to episode 3

[@PucaFlea]

Can’t wait til the podcast catches up to hear her opinion. All the game players I know love the series. I never played, but sadly knew a few things going in, but most of it was brand new and I loved it.

[@ValerieGiroux]

We need more Katya book recs because Manhunt was SO GOOD!!

[@braindeadbrian]

"I'm not laughing" LAHDHGAGOA

[@imfinereally]

Katya's giving figure skater... I hit play and went oooo Nancy Katya Kerrigan Zamolodchikova lol😂

[@Spooky_Academic]

Gretchen Felker-Martin is cool as hell, super nice, and Manhunt is da bomb. Excited for Cuckoo next year!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@daphneandava]

They are so considerate of the audience. I feel the love!

[@kai6887]

I love that wig on trixie

[@hotjuices2]

trixie repeating the breakfast story already

[@SuperDerp5]

U know she just wants to hear, she's right; but katya doesn't to get involved 😂

[@jennys209]

A moment of silence for all the years we had to struggle through life before they dropped this bald, and in fact, dazzlingly beautiful podcast

[@elkenenvy]

End of 1st Ad Read: 1:52 End of 2nd Ad Read: 15:51 End of 3rd Ad Read: 34:36

[@AngelaMarie426]

The Dipsea add had me cackling 🤣🤣

[@pbgv399]

Trixie did not just straight up call out Eddy Burback 🤣

[@thebonbrests741]

"And if you don't have a daughter-" "Then you've won the lottery"

[@barbarastanwyck4288]

That wind down at the end was the most respect I've been given this week.

[@blaisearwyn3405]

Where were they going after this recording? Or where did they come back from? They look stunning.

[@shellyenglish]

I can't imagine a world without you two. You keep me sane!

[@kirac.7368]

Katya has never looked better tbh

[@gloss6969]

her hair looks so good! that olaplex must be really working

[@kirac.7368]

No longer bald, just beautiful

[@SkwakbirdGirl]

Mahler is lit and I’m so thrilled about this development

[@jaccaj1626]

Oh, if only everyone were as awesome as trixie & katya!🤩

[@Katiejay21]

Such a great episode ❤

[@samigc9087]

Brightburn is my favorite movie!!! I talk about it all the time. Changed my life

[@heavenwithin81]

love these two.

[@AnneOnymaus]

Same, gurl.

[@claire-ht4gs]

I have been WAITING for katya to talk about tar

[@bb_18]

I watched that weather episode countless times. Actually there is no wind you're just spinning....o you're right!

[@masonisoverparty]

The fact I can just tell Trixie was talking about Ted Nivison/Eddy Burback with the Rainforest Cafe

[@Saudade_Ana]

Trixie outfit is so cool

[@Arockpromoter]

Both your looks are giving whilst living 💙

[@Pahedi]

Fantastic episode. Maybe its just me, but I'm glad when its not always about a tour I'm never in my life going to have the opportunity to attend. I'd rather listen to them talk about movies, TV, books and so on.

[@philgood8089]

Trixie, on drag: "Drag, in general, is more like collage, decoupage - we're not doing oil paintings..." *observes Trixie's make-up choices* .... INTERESTING.

[@haloroberts4351]

Love that game & the show!!

[@khan.2705]

One of my favorite episodes lmao

[@rachellaird4748]

Manhunt is an amazing read, definitely recommend it.

[@MegCollins35]

Who is the author? There’s a lot of manhunts at the liberry

[@rachellaird4748]

Gretchen Felker-Martin.

[@Alex________90]

Loves the drags