Poundland Valentines Day Special 2019 | Ashens

[@ZeebraSneeze]

You don't have to pretend they're spades to be poker themed... they're already HEARTS

[@benhatto]

Yeah...

[@nimoy007]

Came here to say this

[@bytheway0416]

Ding ding ding ladies and gentlemen we have a winner! Harvey tell him what he’s won... well Mark, the internet, he’s won the internet.

[@Xirpzy]

oh hi Mark

[@Laxora_NZ]

Also, even if you did pretend they were spades, they'd be the wrong colour, Spades is traditionally a black suit, not red. So many problems with this idea, it'd never work!

[@STiP0]

*what's my proudest moment?* HORSE.

[@marti5420]

Dating a zombie this Vday STiP0?

[@camelChase20]

Celebrate Valentine's day by going to your crush's house and blasting Gone Guru, eh?

[@ToaOfFusion]

I thought it was Mongolian throat-singing

[@zwete]

Spoken like a true heroin addict

[@SATAMonkeys]

Ayee stipo

[@naihwong8504]

Poundland would make an excellent name for a sex store.

[@kalemlyons7578]

Nai Hwong ok that was a good one ☝️

[@peteynutt4104]

Yes but I would say, Horse!

[@luigimaster111]

Pound World would be a great name for a brothel.

[@mattwhitley8781]

@Baron Will who doesn't? Im from the uk and I've known the word "pound" used in that context over here many times.

[@MinxLaura123]

Haha

[@mrhappysadass]

"You could probably use them as spades for your poker club..." Ah, yes. If only there were another, more heart-like shape that one could find in a deck of cards...

[@applesKIWISbananas]

@@critarc no, its definitely clovers!

[@EddieHawkinsII]

Trapezoids!

[@drivingcat6901]

Horse

[@annonymous7286]

@@drivingcat6901 🥇

[@WeirdWonderful]

You and your fanciful dreams !

[@bartholomewdan]

I'm glad to see Ashens cares so much about us horsekind

[@AgentTasmania]

How's old Horace Octavius Reginald Sorrel Edwards these days?

[@ShakeItLittleTina]

HORSE

[@mp9264]

horse

[@davidverbeek4849]

Horse

[@Skelig]

horse

[@cutterchaz]

What's at the top of my bucket list? "i dunno, die probably." I didn't come here for relatable existentialism Stuart.

[@MontieMongoose]

That'll do Ashens, that'll do.

[@Uzur9]

Horse.

[@DASyam-tb7qt]

Mongolian throat singer!

[@edamjone-hash3626]

Baa Ram You

[@powpuck5031]

burger king

[@huntercinnamon6912]

Dog and cat

[@ozzelot3349]

I honestly thought "Perfect match" would just be a box of matches. Disappointed.

[@TheHutchy01]

Don't give Poundland ideas.

[@markmcpheters]

aro vibes?

[@Battledongus]

This 100% needs to happen it would be funny!

[@Citadel_Of_My_Thoughts]

A 50 pack of argument starters.

[@rachael1090]

Should give a pack to every female friend you have that's in a relationship.

[@cmyanmar13]

Brilliant value really. I've spent a lot more than a pound to have an argument.

[@JonatasAdoM]

This is rather a nemesis 50 pack.

[@watchspotting]

What a lovely profile pic

[@aliciabutteriss6274]

Roses are red I guess that you'll do. I also got confetti And I poisoned your brew Nothing like valentines day to inspire poetry, I guess.

[@DiamondProAlpine]

horse

[@KurosakiYukigo]

Never have I seen a mug that more adequately describes my self-esteem

[@MetaalMeerkat]

I envy your highly enthusiastic self-esteem

[@superfiggycrew8086]

It'll do

[@Tech101yt]

_HORSE_

[@MightyJayYoung]

That design on the mug is a ripoff of the Kurt Cobain journals front cover

[@bobbobson110]

I understand you. I would love to get a mug like that as a present, joke or not.

[@hurricanebtvs]

ASHENS IDEA IN MONGOLIAN `2001 RESURRECT HORSE ON PLANET BURGER KING

[@shearetherford9120]

hurricanebtvs bless this comment

[@andymadden8183]

Referencing the Toynbee tiles, I see.

[@Arthurzeiro]

Horse

[@HelloThereUniverse]

Yes....

[@johannderjager4146]

Do you have a Holy Hand-Grenade of Antioch I could borrow? I would like to "show it" to weaboos at an anime-convention. (After pulling the pin and counting to 5, but not more or less than 5.)

[@waynecarrjr.1187]

Horse? Where? All I see is a strange man behind you banging cocounuts together

[@jasonvoorhees4236]

Burger King.

[@johannderjager4146]

@@waynecarrjr.1187, that "strange man" has a name, you know. Don't talk to the King of the Brits that way! Those coconuts were brought to him by a Swallow! (Whether it was an African or European Swallow is still debated to this day.)

[@UniquePanda0]

"Trick question! I never passed after killing twelve instructors." Horse!

[@thomaskeil89]

Who needs a date when we've all got a date with Ashens

[@rachael1090]

Pffft, I don't need a box of tat to make that happen

[@johndawhale3197]

Our favorite place to have a night out is right in front of his big brown couch...

[@Skaera75b]

"What's my proudest moment? .... HORSE!" As it should be, Sir. Well done, and I love this meme.

[@larrymantic2635]

9:17

[@Dvlx1]

Looking forward to you pulling out some of that confetti from the back of the couch during the 2020 Valentines Day Special. I'll be disappointed if you don't!

[@surpriseraisin5892]

Video idea: what's behind/under the cushions in the sofa? Mildly interested to know if there's any burnt and twisted figures back there

[@jm-sh6qr]

@@surpriseraisin5892 just an old pop station watch, some glitter, and a stale French fry

[@Zontar82]

I am sure there's still some cyberskin stuck in there

[@darrylhamlin7475]

@@jm-sh6qr He's British so you mean a stale chip.

[@Charky_Creations]

@@darrylhamlin7475 nah, the skinny ones are still fries.

[@ericariley1696]

"What's my proudest moment?" "Horse!" 🐴

[@MagicianFairy]

this is all an attempt for Ashens to romance his couch.

[@UNSCMarine117]

Man his wife is gonna be pissed.

[@stuxinator8187]

How do you think they've been together for so long?

[@Clay3613]

It's his bedroom, bathroom and his lover.

[@omikron6218]

That's probably why it is so worn out.

[@cipherthedemonlord8057]

It'll turn into an anime girl.

[@Devilot109]

Okay, I might be broken. When he was about the bring out the mug, I reflexively said *HORSE.*

[@kandigloss6438]

"guess what else they have this year? SEX TOYS! We draw the line here though." Well, over to big clive's channel I go. ;)

[@jessicare5331]

I'd love to see Ashens review poundland sex toys

[@mmmhorsesteaks]

The other reason it's called poundland ;-)

[@cipherthedemonlord8057]

🤣

[@angrybidoof847]

Big Clive sounds like a name of a toy too

[@techbaffle]

Ashens & Big Clive collab to review Poundland Sex Toys 'Oh sorry I took that one to bits'

[@dianamarihuana3062]

Ashens, review mongolian throats flavoured pizza snack.

[@theweirdo8622]

What is that? Sounds awful

[@johannderjager4146]

I can just see the commercials to the Poundland engagement-ring. "He went to Poundland..."

[@MrSnake-dh3hu]

If you get someone that ring, you certainly won't be going to _pound_ land if you know what I'm saying.

[@johannderjager4146]

@@MrSnake-dh3hu, good one.

[@rachael1090]

I thought you were just making a joke and then he freaking brought it out...

[@smb-c3po]

Giggity-giggity-giggity-giggity!

[@Craftysage72]

Sora Song ew bad joke

[@by3_jud3]

“The perfect match” game had me convinced that it would be a 50 pack of matches

[@nonipaskucz8977]

Glad I’m not the only one. It would have been the perfect pun

[@deathsyth8888]

You will always be my "British KZbin star who lives in Norwich and reviews things" date for Valentine's.

[@PinieNox]

deathsyth8888 same for me, but thats because barry did not make one 😉

[@Spongebobs4Life]

The Poundland sex toy line is called “nooky” ......I have no comment I just feel like everyone should know.

[@BradRLee]

They have a Poundland sex toy line? Isn’t that just going to be made up of sharp ended, hard plastic dongs and boob stressballs?

[@km5405]

it is called pound-land after all.

[@Dracan]

@@BradRLee same plastic they make the toy soldiers out off

[@Dracan]

@Hand Sanitizer I mean it's a daily occurrence for me I like how that plastic come out the mould making them sharp af

[@tubeducky]

He reviewed some "enhancement" tablets from Nooky last year

[@ItsDanLatham]

Much like every year, nothing says love like poundland tat on a worn brown sofa!

[@UncleJackOnline]

Im disappointed he didn't open the heart nothing to see what the air smells of......

[@UncleJackOnline]

Horse!

[@dylanlandon8027]

Burger King!

[@WildVee]

A sweatshop

[@UncleJackOnline]

@@WildVee that too hehe

[@The_SnuggleDuck]

A Mongolian

[@TehSkullKid]

Toynbee Ideas in Kubrick's 2001 Resurrect dead on Planet Jupiter

[@alexanderharris5022]

TheSkullKid so romantic

[@invisibleedge2340]

Sleeper cell activation phrase

[@AlyxxTheRat]

I love you too

[@quillclock]

what an interesting obscure reference. anyone else know about this b4 this video? i was rly into graffiti a year or so ago. interesting stuff.

[@peterreed2730]

Brilliant. South Street Philadelphia

[@RingoBuns]

Could you do a quick video of you looking under the cushions of your couch? I’m legitimately curious what’s down there

[@maxscardanelli6185]

Hello Ringo As Ashens fans, I think we all are...

[@KonekoneFukkatsu]

Don't you lift up those cushions 'Cause there's something down there...

[@averybottomtext7713]

Majima is down there. He's everywhere!

[@RingoBuns]

ĸιѕнιвe roнαɴ Found ya, Kiryu-Chan!

[@stevesstuff1450]

Carmen SanDiego.... ;-)

[@BandEater]

*OKcupid profile:* Habits: biting nails, gaslighting romantic partners , leaving crumbs in the butter,

[@davidribeiro]

10/10. Would match.

[@puckcat22679]

What are you talking about? I don't gaslight you! It's all in your head. Are you feeling okay? You're making stuff up again!

[@drunkenhobo8020]

I was ok until the last one, but that's a dealbreaker.

[@md_vandenberg]

From a redhead with blue eyes? I can ignore such quibbles.

[@excelatrate]

@@md_vandenberg gross

[@dittot]

"What is my proudest moment?" *"HORSE"*

[@richardeadon6396]

Yes, pretend the heart-shaped lights are spades so they look like one of the suits of a deck of cards. Genius.

[@theguyinthefunnyhat]

Ashens: *Answers every questions with "horse"* Horse: I LOVE IT!

[@herbiehusker1889]

Burger King is my favorite music genre

[@Fazeof1p]

The alien symbiote attached to my body approves of that coffee mug. Happy Love Day :)

[@EddieHawkinsII]

I’m pissed my anime body pillow didn’t get me Lord Huggington...

[@ColonelPenguin]

Ashens is always my Valentine

[@DiamondProAlpine]

Colonel Penguin *Horse*

[@AtheistOrphan]

Favourite body part? = So difficult to choose from the many I keep in my freezer.

[@EddieHawkinsII]

HORSE

[@JohnnnyGash]

Ashens body pillow please.

[@Shadow-876]

I'd buy it

[@SakurauchiLily]

Ashens best waifu

[@Gun5hip]

DO WANT

[@penatio]

With *hello!* sfx. It has to be poundland branded too.

[@numbmind120]

I'll take 8.

[@MusicFurler]

Failed opportunity on the cards the next card said "What was the naughtiest thing you did at school" HORSE

[@jamesflynn4951]

Run through a field of wheat

[@Bluscream]

Y e s

[@ShakeItLittleTina]

A Toynbee Tiles reference? How fascinating and obscure, I even had to look it up and I’m from the area where the tiles first popped up. You’re awesome

[@TyphonMar]

I knew about it through CRACKED

[@slaughterround643]

Can you recap? Most of the material I've seen on it is inane, conspiratorial and fucking boring

[@livly_garden]

@@slaughterround643 there is a documentary about it that is a great watch!

[@lightlysalted2564]

Ah, yes, the three genders. Woman, man, and anime body pillow.

[@YourDad-dh6fj]

Mom it's my turn on the gender.

[@luckypies0-0]

DoubleReeBoy lol

[@ndxdirectorscut]

The Three genders lived in peace. but everything changed when the SJWs attacked.

[@akertree]

Abp's for life

[@swanningabout]

I thought there was only two!

[@BojoPigeon]

"Resurrect Dead" is my favorite documentary. Worth checking out.

[@cheekbonestrenchcoat]

Horse! 🐴 Burger King! 🍟🍔

[@AgentTasmania]

Sian Taylor Horse King!

[@Mick_92]

Toynbee idea 🤔 In Kubrick's 2001 🚀 Resurrect the dead ⚰️🧟 On Planet Jupiter 🌕♃

[@PupVex369]

@C C Number 15.

[@hammy4866]

Best believe I'm going to start answering stupid questions with "HORSE!"

[@Metalkitty33]

Poundland sold 20k engagement rings in a week .

[@neyoid]

"How To Tell Her You Don't Want Her"

[@LeeDee5]

I wonder how many divorce rings they will inevitably sell.

[@MrFunkia]

Nothing sells like quality!

[@jamescollins6085]

20k people have hit rock bottom.

[@neonte13]

@@jamescollins6085 Plastic bottom, actually. It's 99,000 carat Rockanique, encased in a luxurious Plattinarium double-half band loop, and let me tell you, the last time we had these on the show, they all sold within the first five femtoseconds, so you've really gotta act fast, here!

[@autisticenby_stevie]

I put this video on to try to get to sleep, since Stuart’s voice is very soothing to me. Ended up shaking the bed trying to hold in my laughter so my partner didn’t wake up to the sound of Ashens repeating “HORSE” over and over again.

[@jinge23]

Ashens referencing the Toynbee Tiles? My life is complete. Best. Valentines. EVER.

[@medes5597]

My exact reaction. I was ridiculously happy about this.

[@thegardenofeatin5965]

Are those still happening?

[@SquigglyP]

@@thegardenofeatin5965 I don't think so, but there's no telling how many the guy planted or if they've all been found / noticed by now. I'm not sure if the guy is still alive, but he was supposedly in poor health and had some pretty serious mental problems back when they made that documentary about them, and that had to have been at least a decade ago... Assuming that the guy who supposedly did them is actually the guy who did them, as there's really been no confirmation that I know of.

[@medes5597]

@@SquigglyP wrong, the main suspect died but there's new tiles appearing regularly still. The fact that some are appearing in the same style as the originals, with with the same sub rants, makes people think Sevy either had a partner or it wasn't him.

[@markmcpheters]

tenth-of-a-ply bog-roll! finger goes straight through!

[@tedthez]

Best Valentine's Day movie - "Manos" The Hands of Fate

[@SquigglyP]

The awkward hair-touching scene with Torgo really gets my blood pumping almost as much as the peeping tom Torgo scene. So many great romantic Torgo scenes.

[@koenvandamme6901]

Don't forget the sweet dulcet tones of the haunting Torgo theme.

[@DarthPerkins]

The Master approves.

[@JanPospisilArt]

"Oh god, it's going in the back. It's still coming! That's gonna be there for a million years." - from "Ashens Takes His Valentine to Poundland 2019"

[@johnnyp030279]

Favourite film “Begotten! “. I’m literally crying 😆😆

[@armchairwomanmao2922]

This is your BEST video. I actually re-watched it.

[@milovaalafacu]

"Anime body pillow in your life" Oh ashens, I don't even have one of those

[@dr.velious5411]

Tbh those Zone-Tan Dakimakura look pretty comfortable, I'd definitely get one if I wanted to ward off anyone without a sense of humor.

[@drownsinkoolaid4203]

I don't even have one either. I have 12 :(

[@intrepidmatter8165]

Horse

[@dr.velious5411]

@@intrepidmatter8165 Of course, of course.

[@christopherlsthomsen]

Well done for the "Begotten" line - seriously the darkest answer I would be able to come up with there

[@AlisonBryen]

My inner neat freak died a little when he sprinkled that confetti over the sofa.

[@K21_KXW]

Is it so inner you live in a state lol

[@AlisonBryen]

@@K21_KXW Lol! No, it's inner in the sense that I try very very very hard to suppress it, but it's always there lurking...and often it gets triggered nonetheless!

[@mayal5775]

Who needs romance being elicited by love heart confetti and lights on a bed when you can have it on Ashens brown sofa 😍

[@thecollierreport]

In 2020, that toilet paper is sexy

[@RavenhallowGrey]

Having seen many Toynbee tiles in Philly, I appreciate that ending SO MUCH.

[@rockymaxwell]

"The man in your life" HAHAHA "The woman in your life" Idon'tswingthatwaybutHAHAHAH "The anime body pillow in your life" HAHA-wait- *looks at Makoto* *shame* -well...

[@MadameTeqi]

Hey, if you mean Naegi, at least you know you can get lucky ;p

[@zachodovadostickasklp9746]

I've had so much sex with my body pillow that it stands on its own now

[@number1randomboy629]

*WELL*

[@number1randomboy629]

@@zachodovadostickasklp9746 wait wtf?

[@fruitylooney348]

Uh- Makokto is underage 😐

[@Marscow]

You had me at "Monster A Go Go".

[@MrDussek]

what happened to the heart box with the jokes in them?

[@TheTechnoLocker]

Burger King

[@drownsinkoolaid4203]

Didn't he say in last year's video he said he managed to lose it and couldn't find it? Can't say for certain but that rings a bell to me.

[@MadameTeqi]

@@drownsinkoolaid4203 just checked the '18 video in my marathon and that's absolutely the case :( it was my favorite part too

[@luthmhor]

Weren’t they like romantic suggestions that were unintentionally creepy and hilarious? I don’t remember jokes.

[@shahjahanahmad3029]

As a kid I always wanted a PS2 but never got one so I used to hop onto KZbin and watch review videos and get satisfaction from watching others play on their consoles. One day watching PlayStation reviews I ended up finding a Polystation/PopStation review on this channel. It’s safe to say I was only 8-10 back then and was instantly hooked mostly by the comedic style and satirical element of all his videos to an extent where me and my brother would watch every Poundland tat review he uploaded. but growing up I developed other interests and found myself watching less and less videos until I eventually forgot about the channel as a whole. I’m turning 20 now and I just now happened to have this video suggested to me and lo and behold it’s Ashens again with the same brown sofa and witty remarks that never failed to amuse. I don’t know why but I felt this need to say this out loud and here I am relating my story. Thank you.

[@PedroBenolielBonito]

2:21 'beautiful heart-shaped box' I bet Ashens's girlfriend eyes him like a Pisces when, he is weak...

[@AntoniTolwinski]

Holy shit that answer to the "favourite film" question made me spit out my cereal. Begotten. Brilliant.

[@Oceanblue_Art_]

I can't help but imagine the heart confetti being used for "Valentine's Day activities" and ending up... inside someone

[@tsabanski]

"BEGOTTEN." Me: *laughs harder than what would be deemed socially appropriate in basically any situation, anywhere*

[@idontcareenough5321]

If only he knew what would happen in just a year... 4:39

[@terryhinch]

I was so excited last year when I visited NYC and was crossing a street and happened upon a toynbee tile. I had forgotten about the until that moment and it made my day. Second only to seeing the Ghostbusters Firehouse.

[@TheHutchy01]

Nothing beats seeing the Ghostbusters building.

[@jimbob3332]

Ashens spicing up the good-bad movie references with a Monster-A-Go-Go rather than a Plan 9 or The Room.

[@omikron6218]

Plan 9 is going to come out later this year.

[@koenvandamme6901]

It's actually my favourite MST3K episode. *Riiiiiing*

[@daytonglitch]

I enjoy the move from a pound land engagement ring to a pound land nothing

[@TheGoldfishArmy]

2:13 My parents did that. My dad got Mom's engagement ring from a 25-cent capsule machine.

[@rawmaw]

Amazing! Only true love can shine through that!

[@MinusNoir]

- Are you a dog or a cat person? - You always forget I'm a hedgehog, honey.

[@grimTales1]

"What's my favourite thing to have forbreakfast?" HORSE

[@ExSharkV]

The "Where did you first meet? BURGER KING." Bit at 7:25 made me laugh hysterically because my parents actually did meet for the first time at a Burger King. And they've been happily married for 32 years.

[@keyholes]

You are my insomnia's Valentine.

[@drwhoscumrag]

keyholes hello fellow insomniac!

[@JO3YSworld]

These videos each year are the only thing I like about Valentine's Day! Did not disappoint!!!

[@FortuneFinders]

I love having your throat chords reverberate into my ear holes :)

[@tdata545]

I live on the coast of MS for 4 years now, and man nothing is a larger bummer than the lack of ice cream shops. Up north when I used to live in Chicago, there were loads of them. The township I grew up in had 3. It was 70F today, so what? 23C, close 21C. Near December. What a great place to live. People make fun of Mississippi, but it's quite lovely on the coast.

[@CLaw-tb5gg]

"What was the naughtiest thing I ever did at school" Shot the headmaster

[@topo8444]

I could use some of that "in case your valentine is crappy" roll since I've received sick for Valentine's Day. Though this installment of the brown couch show definitely made my day. Thank you Ashens!

[@ellie8161]

Thought the perfect match thing would be a pack of matches at first. Not sure how that would be valentine-related but it would be more useful at least.

[@AtheistOrphan]

Ellie McKibben - So did I!

[@MathewHaswell]

🎵My lovely horse, running through the field...🎵

[@Dumbledoresarmy13]

I went to a crappy public school in the U.S. and funding cuts got rid of German and Woodworking but we still had Latin.

[@chefexcellence322]

@Most Deadest Pool of em All. America football is more important than learning a second language or a practical skill which can be used for future employment.

[@cipherthedemonlord8057]

Joys of Public Education plus Common Core and No Child Left Behind.

[@koenvandamme6901]

I actually chose to study Latin for 6 years.

[@ButtonMasherReal]

Koen Van Damme Well, we all make mistakes in life.

[@drownsinkoolaid4203]

@@koenvandamme6901 INCREDIBILIS!

[@armchairwomanmao2922]

I've been married for ten years I still can't answer more than 2 of those Valentine questions.

[@alkestos]

Horse!

[@pignostril]

Nice. A reference to the Toynbee Tiles.

[@leecroft1983]

Ashen's really went out this year on setting such a romantic background what with the lights, glitter and everything.

[@TheTaylorwailer]

What was the naughtiest thing I've ever done at school? HORSE

[@EddieHawkinsII]

Hello, Catherine the Great!

[@bucwhovian8305]

This is my favourite of the yearly Ashens videos.

[@CoxTH]

I am disappointed that "The Perfect Match" didn't just contain a single matchstick.

[@SpecterSprite]

I like the passing Begotten reference. More love for that film!

[@SirAnimosity]

Happy Valentines Day, Mr. Ashens

[@martinhall9074]

I laughed my head off at those card readings!!!Class.

[@thegardenofeatin5965]

"Joint spa day." Because of the US military, anytime I hear "joint" I think "I wonder how many hundreds of billions this is going to cost."

[@koenvandamme6901]

Time to bath bomb the Middle-East!

[@jordanpike5816]

Add oil to make it even more romantic, and give the bombs a purpose

[@bhaskarsnatarajan]

Gets better every year! Horse, is the best one word answer for everything! Cheers with vodka, sugar and.... More vodka!

[@TheCatpirate]

That is the least reassuring mug I've ever seen.

[@Coolpool2002]

Catpirate I see you every where

[@RoninCatholic]

I'd feel so comforted and fulfilled if a girlfriend got me one of those at some point. Might even be the first gift I ever received from a significant other. Yes, my past relationships were _that_ bad.

[@terminalfrost3645]

@@Coolpool2002 perhaps because you like the same things!!

[@jorda.2412]

I assure you, it's a mug. Would definitely hold hot liquids.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

So far...

[@scorpionqueen11]

Idk why I come back to this video every once in a while just hear him answer, "HORSE" to the perfect match cards. Lmao.

[@WoodstaS]

I recently watched a recommended video that was literally poorly rendered 3D brown bears dancing badly to a crudely edited hardcore techno remix of “Sweet Dreams”. The package of air is a much better use of resources in my opinion. Video was called “Bears Dance to Sweet Dreams - Remastered”. Sounds dodgy but it isn’t, honest.

[@jamiemackenzie6540]

I used to watch you when I was a kid and I loved you so glad to see you on trending so I can watch you again

[@DVDandFilmBloke]

Did Kubrick fake the moon landings? BURGER KING