What You Don't Know About Ashly

[@maddieherbster4568]

As soon as Ashly said trichotillomania I started crying. NO ONE in the media talks about trich. I've always felt trich 'doesn't count' as a mental illness. It's so incredibly isolating and to find out that Ashly has it too is... I cant even describe it. THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS

[@marissajolie6857]

maddie herbster I have it too

[@kt0784]

Until now I had no idea this was a thing. Turns out I have it too

[@mariam-tzortz7622]

I think the same thing has Sara Sampaio a VS model and she talks a lot about it

[@marissarenee8481]

Arden Rose made a video! I think a bit ago now as well that’s worth a watch.

[@xiomarasanabria4263]

I also have Trichotillomania

[@issafraud419]

If you remember Ashdrew you’re qualified for a veterans discount

[@meganfinn821]

OTP 😂

[@shianamarieholmes9047]

Issa fraud yezzzzzzzz

[@adribenitezescobar3091]

And now is Ashtel!

[@starlightabuteen8478]

❤️➖💔

[@elibjo01]

I remember them omg

[@katherinegallo6946]

I’m tearing up. Trich has been such an, unfortunately, big part of my life, and I feel like I’ve never seen it represented like this. Thank you SO much. This means the world.

[@rositaspigeons1148]

Katherine Gallo you aren’t alone I’ve had this since I was 6 I’m 16 and I feel terrible..I lied to my parents for a decade and I still am..I’m ashamed

[@julieisaway]

i started pulling my sophomore year. it was an anxiety thing. it wasn’t noticeable at first and then it was. kids would ask why the top of my hair is so short i would tell them that i lull at my hair. the kids would kinda laugh, i don’t think they meant harm by it but it sucks having ur friends point out the patch of hair that sticks up. i recently chopped most of my hair off. it’s abt at shoulder length. and i have layers trying to grow it back. and i still pull and it’s literally the worst.

[@laurenprice4936]

Julie p same same same it’s such a sensitive subject for me

[@laurenprice4936]

Rosa Acosta same for 7 years :-(

[@thetongueofangels1882]

God bless you all

[@navyasanthosh6331]

"It's crazy to say to anyone who has a mental illness- don't be depressed, don't have anxiety, don't pick your head, because if it was that easy, then I would have done it." This sentence she said is so true and so strong. Everyone needs to get this sentence WIRED INTO THEIR HEADS. It just hit me in the feels so hard because of how true and relatable this sentence is.

[@majabrakas8241]

Honestly same here People who aren’t struggling thinks it’s easy to get better, but it’s mental. It’s difficult, unknown, and in many places not socially acceptable to talk about

[@navyasanthosh6331]

​@@majabrakas8241 So true. Even if people facing things like this know about it and know all about the symptoms and how to try and come out of it, it still is not easy. It might seem like something, although hard, common in the world, but you won't know how bad and hard it is until you face it yourself.

[@jessekimxx]

With depression, there's nothing amazing about not being able to see beyond your own nose & having every interest important to you be mysteriously severed. You're lethargic, you have comprehension issues, sleep issues as a side effects, ex; narcoleptic, insomnia. As result, 1 year can feel like one long day all because your brain doesn't filter out any of the unnecessary stuff. You get Alzheimers (for me temporarily, thank you.) to add to the comprehension struggle, "I see the object but I don't know what its for, I see the colour but I don't remember the name of it, it's the colour "egg" or "paper" ("the colour is white, the object is a couch, it's a white couch, you sit on it"), "what does _'sit'_ mean"? You don't even know you have depression until you have do & it puts you "underground" where no conscious, kindness, or interest can find you. Your eyes or conscious turns inside out, you don't notice anybody but the intrusive thoughts in your head. Always lethargic but you don't get good sleep so you have eye bags reaching to the line of your philtrum. Your teeth gets grind down in your sleep from mental & emotional stress until it become dull. You get hormonal acne. Your thyroid turns on you and you gain weight, cold sweats, panic attacks. Your magnesium levels go down and your hair begins to fall out & you begin to have heart pains & abnormal body shakes. Your adrenals become weak & you lose your stamina. You can't walk, eat, you have trouble breathing in while laying down & air runs out, sometimes you pee the bed unconsciously, your always slouched when sitting because your eyes look to the floor in self-shame & embarrassment for being "incompetent" (especially if you were self- motivated before depression). You become a host for other spirits to enter in and you think evil thoughts. You don't sit up strait because its more comfortable to curl & squeeze into your own body, staying very still so you can prepare yourself if your body runs away from you. You don't look into peoples eyes because it will be revealed what is going on inside of your mind. You cover your heart just incase your soul jumps out & runs away with your conscious, then you really will be a vegetable. Imagine going through years of this, then being called lazy, unmotivated, uninspired, troublesome by strangers for unintentionally falling asleep on the street upon hearing a loud noise, that is, the garbage truck passing by. Nah! I'm not any of those, I just fell asleep cause I'm narcoleptic, I have a safe home. lol

[@angi46131]

@@jessekimxx Thank you. My daughter was diagnosed with depression and anxiety three and a half years ago, not long after she came out as bisexual. I'm so damned lucky because she understands that I love her no matter what and she allows us to keep an open dialogue about her feelings and struggles. What you said sounds like so many of our conversations, it brought tears to my eyes.

[@navyasanthosh6331]

@@jessekimxx Thank you for sharing this here. I hope one day you get better and bright and that you won't suffer anymore. I hope you get to live a happy and loving life.

[@reghiejosefclementeii7268]

Make this a series for mental health awareness. This is what KZbin needs right now not just goofy content but something to learn from. EDIT: OH WOW ALMOST 900 LIKES. LOOKS LIKE THE PEOPLE AGREE TO MAKE THIS A SERIES.

[@angela-nu4er]

Josef Strauss i second that

[@dragonator789]

Preach.

[@ameena6485]

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[@Nickgure420]

Im 1,100th like

[@marjoreee5313]

Ashly no matter what happens You will always be loved❤️❤️❤️

[@Sugericecream_birthdaycake]

TBH I have a crush on Ashley cuz she's really interesting and I personally think she is very beautiful❤

[@triciarose389]

Iam not normal // Ashly**

[@marjoreee5313]

Anila Rahman i watch everything😂lol I am everywhere, i am nowhere, I am MARJOREE

[@megamind5274]

Marjoree Mendoza you're so right.

[@madelinefeller3258]

I feel like nowadays people often glorify mental health like depression and anxiety, but people with bfrbs and similar mental health issues/disorders are not known and extremely hated. I can’t even tell how many people have been mean to me about my trich. as a popular content creater thank you for speaking out like this. me and all the other people who struggle with similar issues feel so alone and finding out that someone I really like and kinda look up to struggles with the same things as me means so much.

[@surinenisaikeerthana1728]

Hi army

[@fruitcake969]

Yeah the ones people don't know about get so much hate. The ones people do know about are glorified so much that it's isolating for people that really do have it.

[@layth2485]

Thank you. I know people with many mental issues. I have depression that got worse when I was diagnosed. I’m untreated. This is me. Ashly picks at her scalp. I pick at my arms. I can’t relate. I can imagine tho. I thank her for sharing. It takes courage. I’m sorry that she does that. But she shouldn’t be embarrassed. Try to stop but embrace the bald spot

[@muirgenneal6066]

Bfrb are completely ignored. Dermotillomania and trichotillomania are so ignored so many people have no idea what they are, even if they have it. And they're treated with so much disdain.

[@Angela-tg3ol]

The amount of times my parents tell me to just stop or all of my mums friends just make fun of me

[@sunfire44]

I’m almost crying tears of joy. I can’t believe I found a person who I thought was perfect, has a disorder like me.

[@katsukibakugou5826]

tonepaw only god

[@lowestoflows2]

@takae we are all perfectly imperfect

[@patriot-hj5vx]

Why did you find her perfect? I'm curious

[@rosyposey9523]

the minute you said “hair pulling” i literally got goosebumps, i have this and *no one* talks about it, because it feels really shameful and weird. you’re someone that i really look up to, and hearing you say that you have this too makes me feel so much more seen. thank you 💕

[@briannahagemann7769]

oblivionandthevoid i completely agree. i have this too and i’ve never met or even heard someone talk about

[@seofaz]

I have it too. Ive seen it a lot on tv and stuff though also seen family members so knew it wasnt just me. Mines isnt just on my head though. Any bump on my arm or legs I wint rest until I have dug a hole and pulled out the hair inide including the follicle. My arms and legs are covered ib scabs and so is my head

[@zoraruen7833]

Yes, I have trichotillomania as well, you should check out Becky j brown on KZbin she does awesome videos about her trichotillomania

[@mariemai2902]

U don't find it shameful at all. I bite my nails since I was 3 years old.

[@erical2067]

Thanks Ashly, you've inspired me to seek help for my suspected OCD before it gets worse in the future

[@abiwrentz4964]

me too.

[@jennysanimations4181]

Omg you are so pretty

[@lifeisconfuzzilifying5373]

Who put the suspenseful music over top of this? She's being so vulnerable and y'all are making it sound like a goddamn horror film

[@Maria-il6xx]

It’s a KZbin video. Have u heard of it? It would be boring and no one would watch if it wasn’t for some background noise

[@camilafigueroa4188]

@@Maria-il6xx no it wouldnt be boring this is why we are here we want to hear her voice

[@AleRu483]

Yeah, I also felt it kinda killed the attempt to "normalize" this type of things, like why

[@chanellovvesyou]

It's meant to follow the mood of the video. Thats why it changes and stops at times

[@jaylagarcia1447]

Fr they didn't do that with my girl jazz 😂

[@izzymacri3442]

I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY HAS IT TOO IM CRYING

[@cyerradion]

I have it too . Lol i was really in my thoughts today and got super sad and stressed and started pulling at my eyelashes so I typed it in to hear other people’s remedies

[@tiffanygeary8632]

I have it, it sucks. I wanna shave my head, I've done it before. But I wanna wait till summer to shave my head again bc people at school are probably gonna make fun of me so I'll just do it over summer

[@emilywilliams270]

And me, there’s support groups on Facebook that are anonymous if your on it. Search trichotillomania on Facebook groups and request to join. It really helps to interact with others 😊

[@alexandratrella5105]

ME TOO

[@izzymacri3442]

Emily Williams ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@thehopeofeden597]

I'm loving this series. It makes people feel like they're not alone. I'd love more episodes.

[@gabrielawood7785]

Awsamazing Eden yasss

[@madhurawetoskar8459]

Awsamazing Eden me too

[@rachelmarks8601]

Ashly, my bff has this disorder, and she’s almost 40 and is just coming to terms with it. She’s letting her eyelashes grow out and she gets so excited to wear mascara! She still has a lot of self-work to do; she still picks her eyebrows and will pick stray hairs all day if you let her. I’ll be sending this vid to her for sure. Good luck, Ashly, in your trichotillomania-free future ♥️

[@isabellavargas2277]

Good luck to her💜

[@alexperez8804]

My last name is Perez

[@rachelmarks8601]

NERDYBIRDIE 001 Thank you for the kind words ☺️

[@ellaanais3316]

I don't think I have trich but I always pick my eyelashes when I get nervous it's just a habit

[@ilikefries7999]

I've had trichotillomania for about 5years now. I'd look up to all these gorgeous people with gorgeous hair and I'd beat myself up for wanting to stop but it's hard. It gets really bad in exam season. I just want to keep on pulling and pulling. I can't believe that so many people in the comments are talking about this. This makes me feel accepted. I told my family about it and they just said me to stop doing it. It's hard to stop. There hasn't been a single trichotillomania free day. I have bald patches on my head now. I just want it to stop. I've considered going bald but it would make the bald patches more affluent. I just want it to stop. Thank you for sharing this video. Thank you so much.

[@tolle3982]

SUBSCRIBE ME OR I'LL TAKE YOUR MOM bruhh, that's wierd

[@3053sydney]

I didn't know this was a disorder, I thought it was just my anxiety! Even when I'm not stressed I have a habit of picking out my eyelashes and eyebrows.

[@dancearoundtheworld5360]

SUBSCRIBE ME OR I'LL TAKE YOUR MOM change your username

[@rileyroo220]

I did the same, I was on a dance company for a while and there were required hairstyles that I just couldn’t do and I hated making everyone change it just because of me...I’ve heard some people try extensions and they really work! I haven’t but I want to!

[@niwalalvi6492]

Man I have this is too and I can relate to this. It's so hard to just stop and everyone else just thinks you're crazy or something

[@meilanie.hernandez4678]

I am a 13 year old struggling with trich. Ive been doing it since I was 9 years old. I remember very specifically a moment where all my eyelashes had grown back. I ran in my mom's room and was so proud of myself. I went back into my room to go to sleep and I started pulling the minute I layed down. All the months I spent trying my best to fight the urge off all of my progress disappeared. As I get older I'm more open about it. Although I am afraid of looking people straight in the eye fearful that they will say something about it. Im still very much struggling with it now. Going through these changes that come with age arent a huge help either. When I pressed on this video I felt everything come back into play. I started remembering the first time I ever pulled, the first night I looked it up To see what was bothering me. This video actually gave me hope tonight. I know I stopped before and I know I can stop again.

[@oliviajohanna5967]

i am 14 and i can relate so much

[@liesl5313]

I started at 9 too. I'm 18 now and there have been multiple times where my eyelashes have grown back after so much dedication to not picking just for it to be ruined in one night. It's a horrible feeling but each struggle is worth it and better than giving up. Hang in there and know you're not alone ❤

[@LM-ch8rh]

hang in there.

[@catrice1296]

Sometimes i do also pull hair when im extremely stressed. And i hated those stupid hair that stuck straight up. I mean i always stopped myself before it got to far minus one teeny bald patch for like a couple months. But also bc of seborrheic dermatitis it changed some of my hair texture to be crinkley and it just pissed me off. Although i havent done it in like 2-3 years

[@Just_Jayy]

This video is going to help so so many people. Thank you Ashly for being so brave 💕

[@AsIs]

[@hannahsimone9674]

No offense against anyone but for years, the only person I looked forward to seeing in Buzzfeed videos was Ashly because she's always been my absolute favorite person

[@JessicaKFox-fb7wj]

Hannah Simoney she was the first Buzzfeed person I ever followed. Ashly is the reason I watch Buzzfeed.

[@sofiasmith4865]

She used to get a lot of hate for complaining on those videos where she lived in different types of houses and places, but I always thought she was really cool and funny.

[@whytho8202]

Sofa Salt Isn’t Nikki the one in those videos?

[@annaverena2415]

They are a member of the try guys now

[@Queenbee12345]

“Hey do you wanna take a breath right now “ haas to be the most heartwarming part of the video I’m so happy you have such amazing support behind you Ashly 💕

[@celestelalianna7276]

Her girlfriend sounds like an amazing person.

[@paigemarto5248]

i’m not sure if you know now, but ashley got married to chantel (the girl interviewing her) and they’ve been together for like 5-6 years 😁

[@SexiSchnitzel]

​@@paigemarto5248NO WAY

[@SabrinaHawk]

@@paigemarto5248 and apparently they are now divorced but ash is joining try guys/2nd try

[@anshizhi]

​​@@SabrinaHawkis this true they're divorced?

[@cOrncHipS90]

​@@SabrinaHawkomg I thought so! No one posted anything but it's sad they finally got married and boom divorced

[@PixxiBug]

I have trichotillomania too!! You're not alone Ashly!!

[@AsIs]

[@suilauk9954]

message me if you want the cure for it , it is something no doctor will ever tell you about

[@staraspect1118]

Sui Lau K Hello?

[@staraspect1118]

Sui Lau K HOW do I contact?

[@kaylee9708]

Sui Lau K how do we contact??

[@SusanR8a]

OMG! I wasn't prepared for this video! Once I heard you had my same condition, my jaw dropped! There aren't a lot of people on social media talking about Trich and/or Derma, seriously this video helped me a LOT! It was like I was hearing myself! Also, only 10 people from my family and friends know. I am definitely gonna try what you just showed to stop. I've had Trich for little over 20 yrs now (I'm 30 now...) Thanks again for this video. It helped me a lot and I think it will help my fellow Trichsters.

[@michellestella7477]

*Finally a positive comment section* Ashly, that was so brave! No one here is judging you! 🙂

[@BullshitDetector]

Michelle Stella I'm judging her... Positively.

[@makeupbyemely6754]

The moment she said “Trichotillomania”, I busted into tears. I have struggled with this compulsive disorder for 7 years now, and recently I’ve been struggling with so much more. This video made me feel a little less alone, and it gave me enough comfort to believe that things won’t feel nor be this way forever. Thank you for this video.

[@Sugarstar-zz9nu]

I've been struggling with OCD all my life and indeed it made me feel less alone as well

[@cezza180]

I hate when people say "just stop being depressed" or something. It makes me so annoyed. Thanks for releasing this video.

[@PositiveMe100]

cezza180 cause you’re so attached to your depression

[@nicoleriffe1430]

Kamilla A no one is “attached”. It’s a mental disorder that you need therapy to help move past it.

[@hannagrace1693]

Mental disorders have become such a mainstream fad and it bothers me so much. One time I was having a visibly violent anxiety attack and one of my class mates turns to me and says “same” and let me tell yah, I went off. Ugh I hate it

[@grimkidcoffee5013]

They didn't even ask if you were ok?

[@kristinathomas5890]

That's sad. It's more like being self centered is popular. They could have offered you help instead of talking about themselves.

[@island-life]

Lately, I've been reading and watching people with all kinds of disorders and there's only one thing that I can think of. DON'T HAVE CHILDREN if you are not mentally and financially and physically prepared. Google the statistics for UNINTENDED PREGNANCY and the risk factors that it has and you'll get blown away. Having children is so glorified in our society but so many people have some type of mental issues because their own parents wasn't ready to become parents or to have more children to begin with. So many parents think that the children only needs food but when you're a parent, you should also think about "what if your child needs a psychiatric evaluation and treatment in the future?" like you should have the resources aka MONEY and PATIENCE for that as well. If you don't have that, then think twice about having children or more children because that is part of the basic necessities. You can blame some disorders on genetics but again, the parents should've gotten professionally tested first to see if there are some risk factors before they conceived. We all should really care more about HUMANITY and NATURE. Children are precious and they deserve the best. If you can't give them the best, then don't have them.

[@Karin91730]

Same, I feel like people who do not have mental disorder pretend to have one to feel sorry about themselves so people would feel sorry for them. I'm also thinking about scientists creating too many mental diseases that when a personality don't match normal is deemed as mental illness and there's no more variety in personalities anymore. It began to feel like a freaking pseudoscience. I know there are serious cases of diseases but sometimes I feel like they are just trying to create problems out of nothing. Yeah, my comment has nothing to do with the actual comment but I wonder what people thought of my thought.

[@smartipants123]

Maybe because more people are accepting and owning the fact they suffer too? Just because you react differently doesn't invalidate others suffering as well.

[@kenPgago]

1:29 is the first video i watched from buzzfeed and also the reason why i love buzzfeed. Ashly is one of the reason why i want to write series and do film. She is such an inspiration! Mabuhay ka, Ashly!

[@Yanggaenggaeng]

Wow. I've had the same symptoms as Ashley for more than 10 years and I haven't realized that it was an actual mental illness... I just thought it was a weird thing that I had whenever I study hard. Thank you Ashley and the team for bringing this up. I should go and do some more research about this.

[@sophieraut9723]

USED to work at buzzfeed

[@Mel-ck6tr]

We got that part

[@enllel]

@Kaitlyn Carlton wait what

[@mena21721]

Enllel B they have pictures in their Instagramssss (well, Ashly does, just a few, but she does)

[@kaseyd5265]

Kaitlyn Carlton no she isnt

[@kaseyd5265]

She has a wife

[@Emmy_Merino]

I started crying when she said she had trich. I’m 21 and have been pulling since I was 4. I hid it from all my friends since my family ridiculed it. I can remember my mom slapping my hand or arm and telling me things like “your friends will all leave you if you don’t stop” or “no ones gonna want you if you’re bald”. It’s been a huge struggle for years. I discovered the term trichitillomania when I was 14 and knowing there was a name for what I had was a huge relief. When I was 18 I finally was able to go therapy for my anxiety and depression, the doctor was also super understanding of my trich and did what he could to treat it as well. In May 2016 I shaved my head to give myself a clean start and to keep myself from pulling. Now my hair is long and most of my bald spots are gone (minus the one on the side that still barely grows back). The people who I’ve worked up the courage to tell have all been super accepting and help make up for the lack of support my family gives. Long story short, the journey may be slow going but it does get better .

[@raheema3850]

Aw that is so sad

[@lovenotegestapo]

Thanks for sharing. I was diagnosed 20 years ago, and I love seeing people finally able to talk about this. You're awesome, and HECKIN YEAH for your progress :)

[@matinajazmine]

Nerdirella I've never heard of trich but now I knoe

[@EmeliaSings]

Omg. I'm still trying to stop that habit myself, for at least two years, I've been pulling out hairstrands, it all started when I just wanted to get rid of split ends, but now I've come to the point where I feel my head just itches for me to pull out strands that aren't like.. it's gonna sound so silly, but good enough. Strands that are rugged, like when you touch them, it's not silky soft but kinda stops, and I am trying to stop myself form pulling mulitple times, but it's so hard. And I'm honestly so ashamed, the fact that you are open about this makes me feel a lot better. I am not ready to tell my family, or get myself a therapist for this, but this video inspires me to keep trying. Your tip of trying to change my mental state, and take a few breaths and try to be calm, I hope it's gonna help. Right now I'm trying to keep my hands busy, so I'm looking for things to do with my hands, lol writing this comment is a way to not pluck at my hair! This comment got so long now, but being able to be honest about my problem here, it feels so good. And I know that nobody (or just a few) will read my comment, but it's just something I need to get out for me. AHH Ashly thanks for posting this video, you brave human.

[@23cece]

i have some bald stops from this habit and people think its alopecia (when your hair follicles dont work)

[@Rachelmarie413]

You are not alone ❤️

[@maab9446]

this is deadass what i have been dealing with for the past year

[@friendlymushroom716]

OMG! I've been doing this for YEARS!

[@hammymallory]

A. Emelia sings This is exactly Me and what I wanted to comment. Thank you. ❤

[@MJCHAZZA]

When i told my "friends" i had trichitillomania they told me i was crazy. For a while i thought i was crazy aswell. It went worse, then better, then worse again. I thought that i was the only one that had it, which sucked because i didnt feel like i could tell anyone. For me it was a side effect of anxiety and guilt from a past friendship. I never really understood that it was so damaging to my well being and my real friends were genuinly worried about it. Edit: OMG THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IVE TOLD THE INTERNET ABOUT IT OMGG

[@kittycat9207]

Molly Dawg aw stay strong!! You can do it! ❤️❤️❤️

[@elizabethbrown5082]

you're not alone!!! i have it too! you're not crazy and i hope you're doing okay!!!!

[@beanhead7632]

Slightly off topic, but I have social anxiety and I can’t choose to make myself extroverted as confident. I understand when I am in public, no one will judge me, no one will laugh at me, but it’s the anxiety, not my brain casually telling me this

[@anakanne9726]

I got so emotional when you started talking about it , it's crazy how alone, guilty and ashamed you can feel with trich. I've had trich for 10 years now and I've felt so alone until today, Thank you.

[@malindaparham2365]

I grew up with a guy who had this disorder. Everyone made fun of him, but I was curious. I asked him about it and he explained what was happening. His formed from severe anxiety. He came to terms with it and he no longer picks and pulls. I actually dated him and supported him in high school. You are amazing for talking about this because if I hadn't known him or seen this video, I still would never know about this.

[@tahlia5436]

This format and content is so amazing. Great work Chantel

[@chloedisauro2391]

I.. didn’t even know this was a disorder that other people had.. I thought I was the only one who did this. It started when I was twelve. I got my hair caught in a zipper and it got pulled out. I looked at one end and I saw that it looked interesting. So I kept pulling out my hair.. one by one. People started noticing that my hairline was receding. By the end of the year the front of my hair was gone. I just lied and said that I had gotten my hair stuck in a hairbrush (happened in the same year). The only people who knew were my mum, dad, brothers and my best friend. I stopped doing it around the end of the year. And when I was 14 I started doing it again. In the centre of my head so no one could notice. The only one who noticed was my hairdresser. She thought it was just because of my tight ponytails. I’m now 14 and a half and I’m coping, surely but slowely. ❤️ edit: i haven’t pulled my hair in 6 weeks 🥺🥰

[@rainjoyce8678]

I had a similar experience, and totally relate. Stay strong, you can 100% get through this (if you haven't already because this is an old comment)

[@gurnoordhami2025]

Even tho I don't know you, I'm so damn proud you!

[@surrealsney8618]

I horribly relate. My hair is so much thinner. It used to be beautifully thick. It scares me sometimes

[@Angela-tg3ol]

I do this with my eyebrows

[@chloedisauro2391]

Kittycatbunnydog im now 16, and i’m slowely getting better, i keep “relapsing” because of over-stress or if i’m overwhelmed. i use treatments to help my hair grow back much quicker too. but i’ve had a lot of healthy support from friends and family :)

[@amytb]

A lot of people think that if you have trich it means you must be completely or noticeably bald. This video did an amazing job showing how embarrassment around hair pulling causes people to go to great lengths to pull strategically or hide it. Thank you Ashly and Chantel.

[@bigfatbahamamamas9314]

Amy Brown good point, but I have trich and I pull my eyelashes and eyebrows. Some people even pull their pubes. As weird or embarrassing as it is we can’t control it. Plus it’s all hair in the end. Doesn’t matter if you can’t see the bald patches from afar

[@carsonkien8141]

Amy Brown but mine was noticeable and it was awful

[@virtualreese]

Juliana B yes! I pull my eyebrows in stress (I think I have an anxiety disorder, I need to ask my doctor) but at home I will spend hours pulling my pubes. I have notches in my fingernails from doing it. I wish I could stop

[@marysolh2234]

Yes that is true. Unfortunately for me i pulled so much hair that I had to have the rest of my hair shaved off.

[@Khadija_YTB]

*YOU GOT THIS ASHLY!! also, YES Chantel, more of this content Buzzfeed **#LadiesMakingThings*

[@MzScorPio07]

I love that you opened up about this. I have a friend that has trichotillomania. And I've been that friend that would "just stop pulling it", not knowing any better. I feel this video helped me learn about how one deals with trich and how certain things don't help. Thank you for being open. 🖤🖤🖤

[@carolinacristallo99]

I used to have trich. My family started noticing especially when I was spending time with them and I could not stop pulling my hair. It would end up in a bunch of it on the floor near my chair or on the sofa, I was also doing it in class and I felt so embarrassed. I started cutting my hair shorter and shorter till I decided to just shave my hair. I have had a shaved head till then but people always assume things when they see a woman with really short hair and start asking questions. No one knows about it except my boyfriend. People need to talk about this mental illness, it exists , it makes people feel so horrible and ashamed. I admire your courage Ashley!

[@chantielingram1080]

Stay strong :)

[@chimmieeyelish255]

I’ve been waiting for this, Ashly is one of my favs and this series is one of my favs, mixed together is a blend of truth and Ashly’s beauty

[@prernasharmamua]

Ashly, thankyou for sharing this...and also, you just diagnosed me...Didn’t even know this was a mental disorder..will try your tricks to improve! Again, thankyou, might not have been easy to share! Much love ❤️

[@annipsy2185]

Prerna Sharma ive had it for years but mostly in stressfull parts of my life,only at its worse i had the same bald patch as ashley. BUT coming in and out of it, it sometimes starts when im not in stress either. Ive almost had no issues with it for 2years now, and in my opinion its more of a bad habit more than anything else...

[@ilinag7109]

i hope you do well on your journey love❤❤❤❤

[@getter4513]

go to a therapist and don't diagnose yourself x

[@mariaroman5080]

ariana ^^^^^

[@ME-hq7lp]

Don’t diagnose your self

[@katastrophic3907]

i have dermatillomania, and it was AMAZING to watch this video. I think people who dont have it dont understand it, because it doesn't really look like a disorder. SO many people close to me just immediately start badgering me to stop. It would be amazing to have a friend who says 'take a breath'. And even then, people who have it don't realise it's a disorder, like I don't think of it as a problem but I probably should. Thank you so much for creating this and putting it out there

[@emmamaclaren9143]

Kate Johnson I have dermatillomania too, and it’s hard because there’s so little representation with it - I’ve had for as long as I can remember but only realized that it had a name and I wasn’t going crazy a year ago. Thank you so much for your comment ❤️

[@alexisnicolevlogs]

I do too! Although I never knew what it was until recently. I'm really ashamed of it and no one knows except my mom

[@janjanL]

I have the same thing as long as I can remember and was so ashamed of it. I only found out its a disorder after finding a youtuber who had the same thing.

[@meagnelhug9976]

Me too! I feel like even less people talk about derma but this video is so powerful and important for all us with BFRBs

[@katastrophic3907]

Emma of course

[@isabella3627]

We all really appreciate you talking about this so openly

[@AdelWolf]

As someone struggling with mental health issues? I cried. I'm so happy for you and so proud of you. Thank you for being so STRONG and speaking up about this.

[@imma_eatjin]

Ashly is so real, the sort of person i want to be best friends with. She is so understanding, funny, downright amazing and needs more credit in her life. Don’t be insecure because we are all behind you and we all love you 💞

[@melo13melo]

I have a type of OCD called invasive thoughts disorder or Suicidal OCD. It basically means that someone with this OCD has obsessive thoughts of suicide including ways of doing it, feeling unsafe when alone and feeling paranoid that they may act out on those thoughts. The difference between having this OCD and actually being suicidal is a person with invasive thoughts never actually plan to do it and does not have an urge to do it. They are not more likely to commit suicide then any other person. But because the thoughts are constantly there they become paranoid that they will follow through with it. When I learned about this I actually cried with relief. At the time I tried a new medication not realizing it would make my OCD worse. I remember lying awake at 4 in the morning sobbing because I was so terrified. My mom was going away for a few days and I was afraid to be left in the house alone. When I found this and read the words: "A person with Suicidal OCD is not more likely to commit suicide then the rest of the population." I cried from relief. This OCD didn't have to have control over me anymore. I'm still looking into getting treatment but it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I don't need to let the paranoia consume me.

[@Aurora-dq4lt]

Melo I'm happy to read that you are getting better. A disorder can't take a decision for us, it's our will who decide. And if you have this disorder it means that you don't want to hurt yourself, so you won't. It's not easy, but I think that when we understand that really we have already won. (I have a different disorder but this simple thought has helped me, so hope it will help)

[@alejandrajn5237]

Congrats on getting better! I'm just here to tell you that recovery is possible. I also had Suicidal OCD and now, after almost 2 years it is almost completely gone. I never took any medication, I went to therapy for a couple of months (didn't work much, but having someone to talk to about it releived me) and worked A LOT on my self-esteem and confidence. I still have anxiety and some mental health issues to fix, but the intrusive thoughts have disappeared for the most, they only bother me on extremely stressful or sad situations. Keep going! You will overcome this. You are so strong. ❤️

[@meghanwiggin7135]

I have this too. They can be REALLY annoying. Mine aren't just intrusive thoughts about suicide but death in general sometimes. It suuuucks it's like getting a song stuck in your head but instead of a song its scenerios in which I die.

[@rove-ey6dc]

i saw this and i just started crying because i get these thoughts, and i don't know what to do with it, i had no idea this existed, i just knew something was off. thank you, seriously

[@melo13melo]

This is exactly why I left a comment. In case someone else didn't know what it was like me and needed help discovering it. I'm glad you were able to figure out what was going on. It's a heck of a lot easier when you're not in the dark and it makes it so much easier to talk about. Make sure you take care of yourself ok.

[@kenzielacosta8244]

Cutting i have not done in 10 years or more 12 maybe. And drugs 5 years. Pulling hair....18 years. Good job! Im so happy for you. Proud of you. I also had a friend that did this.

[@zoe_buttons]

A friend recommended this video to me and I'm so glad he did. I'm almost 18 and I've been plucking my hair out for about 2 years. My psychologist pointed it out to me about a year ago since I have multiple noticable bald spots. This is really amazing to hear from a personality that I know and love. Than you guys!

[@merelarntz]

Zoe Kendrick my friend recommended this too, and I’m so glad she did

[@lcook4825]

As soon as Ashly said she picked at her scabs on her scalp my stomach dropped. I've been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, but I never stopped to think that picking at scabs on my scalp could be part of mental illness. Thank you soooo much for uploading this video. Sometimes I would pick so much that my mom would come home with anti-dandruff shampoo because she thought my scalp was dry and itchy. I went along with the story too and never actually stopped and thought about why I did it. AHHHHHHHHH I'll have to figure out ways to stop. We love you Ashly! Thank you for sharing your story

[@rhiannonmarr4640]

Lexi Clugh 100% same it was like a light had been shed

[@gracek367]

I’ve had the same condition (along with picking at my skin) for about 3 or 4 years now. It gave me so much anxiety in high school, but it felt impossible to stop. I still get anxious about simple things like getting my hair cut, or going to the dermatologist. I have bald spots and so many scars, and the worst part is feeling like you’re the only one. It’s so embarrassing and scary and strange to talk about it, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen someone I admire (or anyone I know, really) talk about it. I take lexapro and Wellbutrin as well, and recently came out to my parents. The entire time I was watching this I felt like it couldn’t be real, but at the same time I began to feel more and more relieved. Thank you.

[@janajorgensen796]

Girl I am right there with you. I've had Trichotillomania and Dermatillomania since I was 8 years old. It's a daily struggle but just know that you are stronger than the illness!

[@cambriajenkins1094]

Liz K they told me lexapro would help mine, I don’t see a difference. I still pick. The only thing that helps me is getting acrylic nails. Only problem is there are still tweezers... drives me crazy if I can’t pick :(

[@pinghc]

Great having Ashly talking about this. I have trich for more than 15 years since junior high. It's a long battle. Only recent 5 years I started talking to the therapist about this. It's said that people who have trich have higher standards to themselves and more perfectionist in general. Thanks for opening up!

[@sari9645]

I have dermatillomania and it’s so interesting to find others who understand. If anyone wants to talk my insta is @sariii_013

[@marigoldmeadow3920]

I have the same thing I have had it for years and I am now opening up and finally getting it diagnosed. the one thing is i only have told one person so far because i dont know what people will say or think

[@lauraanncallaway4057]

I wish that people would talk about alcoholism in such a supportive way.

[@kayleighgriva4817]

Honestly trich is still extremely stimgatised, we are scared to say anything - but alcoholism? Even more stigmatised. It gets to me when people call people with any kind of addiction 'scummy' or 'stupid' or 'undisciplined'. They need and deserve help and so you are right. All impulse control disorders - trich, aalcoholism, and the rest, all need to be accepted.

[@Habitaware]

We're also "tired of not talking about!" Thanks for sharing your story & raising trichotillomania awareness. We're proud to be part of the movement to end the stigma & help people, including our own founder, use the power of awareness to take control of their hair pulling & get their lives back.

[@cheyenneh620]

I have been in therapy for years but never thought to bring this up. First appointment back I will. I have been picking my scalp, arms, and as a child I would make my nose bleed. I really needed to see this.

[@dami_18]

Arm picking is hard to stop... I'm trying do to everything to remove the scars

[@dylan-ew4ze]

Have you gone back yet? I have an appointment on Saturday

[@otlife4942]

Sharing something so private with people (especially online) takes so much courage. So happy that you've come so far on your journey. :) sending love

[@cherryblossombreeze4907]

I’ve added this video to my “Strong Women” playlist.

[@isaiahgriffith2347]

We all should have a strong women playlist

[@Littlebabyandersen]

Where?

[@1234r-l9s]

This is what youtube needs, make it a big serie

[@humanspecimen4120]

I started pulling my eyelashes when I was nine. I thought I was a failure since I didn’t know this was a mental disorder. When I was about twelve I found out what this was. I still felt ashamed for years about it until I felt this video. Thank you so much. It makes sense now.

[@arixnaleeantoinetterodrigu6540]

Uhm I used to pull my eyelashes I don't think u should just assume u have a disorder without it being diagnosed everyone pulled their lashes before

[@fibonacci227]

Chantel did a gorgeous job producing this, wow. Kudos to both of you for putting this online- you're already helping many, many people. Sending love and light.

[@helen-pk4wv]

Chantel is such a good human being. I want to be her friend. She seems like she always has SOMETHING nice or encouraging to say.

[@lid1214]

I have dermatillomania! Thank you so much for sharing about this because no one talks about things like this.

[@Hello_Kristie]

Lydia McGinnis me too!

[@krysantemumma]

Is that compulsively peeling off your skin? I've never heard of it before, hoping I don't come off as rude

[@lid1214]

destiel destiel not rude at all! It is skin picking with acne and scabs! So feeling the need to have no zits or blackheads and picking any imperfections on my face

[@stephm2429]

Lydia McGinnis that sounds like my mother and I think I'm starting to develop some of those same traits except with ingrown hairs that cause a raise in the skin and any bumps on my scalp. It might be time for me to try distraction techniques before it becomes a compulsion.

[@bowbear985]

me too

[@anarios2898]

Ok but instead of hair plucking I made it into Eyebrow and eyelashes pulling Anyone else can relate?

[@dahknee70]

Army 💜

[@sarika777]

Yes :(

[@sarika777]

Also I’m an army to ❤️

[@bonk3328]

Army

[@oofisamood9013]

Yep :/

[@norielli12]

I suffer from manic depressive bi-polar disorder and then this strange scab formed on my head. I then went to the hospital said it must’ve just been irritated. I began pulling my hair out where I felt a bump or scab and this has been something I’ve been dealing with for 3 years and I feel this is the first time I have an understanding of my issue.... I can’t afford to get help and I’m also a single mom so I’m just going to take the suggestions you gave and go from there. Thank you for opening up and giving me validation that I am not the only person around that is in this same mental state. Thank you for your bravery!! ❤️ I’m crying because I get ME now.... and I know I’m not alone...

[@cookiecrumbs9981]

Just when I thought she couldnt get any more relatable

[@angiebolan5354]

Ashly, your description of the fly in the room as a metaphor for trichotillomania and other behaviors is groundbreaking and impactful. I relate to it a lot and I know that SO many other people do as well. Thank you for sharing

[@Ava-hu4gc]

oh my god it is SO relieving to see that other people are going through this, especially someone i look up to

[@jetleclaire5868]

My partner and I suffer from it as well. No need for shame, babe! You are awesome just as you are and great job at getting help! 🖤🖤🖤

[@ameliabond9433]

I hate it when I get really overly stressed about something and everyone’s just like just don’t think about it. Don’t y’all think I would do that if it was that simple!!

[@selenabruce1654]

Amazing. So much credit to Ashley for being open to this being out in the world and fighting the negative stigmas surrounding mental illness

[@melaniegandavaldespino4809]

The just “don’t have anxiety” comment is so spot on I have terrible anxiety and it absolutely bothers me when people act like it’s something you can just stop.

[@Phoenix_flame]

I know what you mean! I understand that they're trying to help, but it never does, if anything it makes it worse. I have anxiety so I get that. Especially if I have anxiety during school, if I tell people they usually say stuff like that.

[@badgerandk]

Right?! Especially as it makes it worse cause you feel like you should be able to just stop. But it isn't how mental disorders work, just like you can't tell someone to just not have a broken leg anymore.

[@hannagrace1693]

Melanie ganda in my 19 years of experience anxiety is pretty much a lifelong thing. We can’t just stop being anxious. I’m tired of people getting angry at me for not being able to get over my (life long) anxiety. It just makes it worse. And I also feel like anxiety can be a gateway disorder. Due to my anxiety I developed depression as well as many more obsessive compulsive disorders. It’s exhausting

[@laurchell]

I love these videos. Honestly, keep pushing them out. They're insightful, yet educational. A perfect balance. Sometimes this is all it takes for one ignorant person on the subject matter to see, "Hey, okay, turns out I don't know everything, I should be more understanding and empathetic". Here for it. Support it. Ashly, you are courageous. It can be so daunting to share your own struggles. You're doing great sweetie!

[@rainjoyce8678]

Ok, so I'm going to share my story even though barely anyone will read this (but please do because I've never been able to talk about this before). It started when I had just turned 10. I just had weird urge to pull out a hair, so I did. It felt weirdly pleasing, so I pulled out more and more, like I spent a good half-hour doing it. My head even started bleeding a tiny bit so I stopped--but the next day I did the same thing. And I kept on, day after day. I went through various different stages of thinking about it, from "is this just a bad habit?" To "am I going crazy?" I thought there was something very wrong with me and I could never tell anyone. The fact that I was only 10 made it worse, because I didn't know much about mental disorders and thought they were always very extreme, life-long things that only "crazy" people had. I also didn't know about therapy or counseling, so I thought I had to handle it on my own. I tried to make it go away, because I thought it was "just a bad habit," but nothing worked for more than 10 minutes. I started losing a TON of hair. I had generic long hair in no particular style, so I never really went to get haircuts. But my dad started to notice because every night I would play video games on his computer, and sometimes he would watch me play for a few minutes. He commented on it a lot (mostly jokingly) but I got really scared. I only ever wore my hair in a pulled-back ponytail, because that was the only thing that hid it. Eventually (and I know this sounds COMPLETELY insane) it started to get boring, and I stopped doing it. Like, stopped for good. One day I literally woke up and the urge to pull out my hair was gone. Later that summer, just to make sure it wouldn't return, I shaved my whole head. Now I have short hair, and am extremely proud of it. One side of my head is still shaved to remind me of that time. I am so lucky that the entire thing only lasted about 8 months. It's been three years and I can truthfully say that that urge is gone for good. (THIS IS THE LONGEST FREAKING COMMENT I'VE EVER MADE HOLY SHIZ) update it came back lol

[@lilyrosepunkunicorm9871]

Wow that must’ve been hard for you!,!,!,! Good job on gating better and sharing your story!!!!,,,,

[@dianaperez3586]

8 months,??? i would kill for only 8 months, im on 15years, wish i was you..

[@matttttttthewwu]

im so sorry that it came back :( best wishes!!

[@jocelyncrow5239]

That was a very honest and powerful video-I’m so proud of you for sharing your struggles and success Ashly! That took a lot of courage - you rock!

[@DankBtz]

My Grandma has this. I'd truly give anything to find a way to help her. Thank you so much for opening up about this.💜

[@lefta1000]

Mental Health is something that sometimes is either underrepresented, or there's now words about it. Once we start to address the situation and start the conversation, we can not only help ourselves but everyone else. Thank you Ashley, your story is much appreciated

[@elizabethbrown5082]

i started crying watching this. i'm 16 and i've been pulling out my hair for about 6 years now. i've always felt so weird about it and i never talk about it. people would constantly point out how i used to have no eyelashes or eyebrows, i have scars and scabs on my legs from pulling out my leg hair. i've had to start shaving my arms so i don't pull that out too. my hair won't fully grow back anymore and i hate it. i'm 16 with a bald patch. it makes me so powerfully insecure and barely no one knows i do this. i know it gets bad when i'm stressed or anxious (which is most of the time) but it's become such a learned behaviour that sometimes i just do it for no reason. i've been doing much better recently and have been pulling it out much less, and i find that taking a moment when i go to pull out my hair to just take a breath and think about it really helps me. thank you for this video, because no one talks about this and how bad and real it is. thank you so much

[@elisecollet8759]

Thank you for talking about this! Mental health is becoming a more accepted topic of conversation yet body-focused repetitive behaviours often go unacknowledged. So many people struggle with one or more BFRB and there is so much shame surrounding them. Thank you for being brave and using your platform to bring awareness to BFRBs and Trichotillomania. To anyone struggling, you are not alone, and do not feel guilty or ashamed. You are stronger than you think.

[@christinehyatt7046]

so i clicked on this video not knowing what it was about. But the crazy thing is that as i sat here conpulsively pulling my hair, i realized that you were about to say that you had trichotillomania. I froze in shock because i was caught in the middle of the action while i was watching you share your story. I have had trich for 7 years and it has only gotten worse. i work on it everyday but barely anybody in my life knows about it so it makes it hard to get better. You are so brave for sharing your story and i hope that people learn from this and realize how serious it actually is.

[@janehr5945]

This was my experience exactly!

[@cambriajenkins1094]

Christine Hyatt picking my leg in the middle of watching it too. It’s sad.

[@farahch7466]

exactly what happened to me, i was pulling my eyelashes and bfrb was mentioned and i thought oh my god its trich

[@emmajeanjumpinbean]

Almost the same exact experience as you except I watched in school pretty soon after recently confront the fact that I had this mental disorder

[@hananghabris8946]

Me too. No one know about my hair pulling. But i just trusted my best friend and i have told her and she is helping me. So u do the dame. Tell anyone who loves u and care about u and u will be better. I'm praying for u ❤

[@zahraaz6846]

Ashly has an amazing personality and she's really pretty! Stay strong, Ashly!♡♡

[@nourahmad538]

THANK YOU for talking about these topics. Talking about mental illness in general is easy. However, addressing a mental illness other than depression and anxiety is still very weird-sounding to many people. I have been diagnosed with Trichotillomania since I was 11. I thought that I was alone. A year later, I wore the Hijab and it was a rescue because in my country we have a saying about crazy people that they pull out their hair. As much as my hijab hide the fact that I pulled out my hair, as much as it made the pulling more intense. No one knew that I pulled my hair until I took off my scarf (which I never did except in front of my family). Over the years, I lost almost all the hair on my scalp. Only two years ago that I challenged myself to go to the gym without a bandana (it's a women's only gym) and shaved my head completely and I went. Everyone around me was giving me the dirtiest looks but for some reason, it made me more confident. Since then, I take off my hijab whenever I wanted. However, I still feel a little embarrassed to talk about my actual disorder. I am working on it. Peace and love from Egypt💚

[@nadinet.1276]

Nour Ahmad i agree that it’s important to talk about other disorders other than depression and anxiety. I can understand that it might be harder to talk about a disorder that is not as known in our society. But I wouldn’t call it „easy“. If you really suffer from anxiety and depression it’s not easy to share or to talk about. It’s just as hard as more unknown conditions for the “victim” I hope you feel better and not as ashamed about your condition because you shouldn’t. Sending love from Germany 💕

[@miiniimiiniijpeg]

Nour Ahmad You’re so strong. Love from the States

[@sumathijai6251]

Wow, just, wow You're so confident n strong ❤

[@KittyLumpkinsss]

this is so beautiful and so needed in 2018, there are so many mental issues we keep hush hush and shame people for having when really all they need is a support system, understanding, and a conversation, even therapy sometimes. it makes me so happy to see this, and to feel like i am part of a revolution of breaking down those walls that "society" has raised. you are beautiful and amazing Ashly! thank you so much for being open with us. ^_^

[@Wigconic.]

This gotta be make into a SERIES! Because we are gonna know more and deeper about this Buzzfeed's people! Some suggestions to do next: -Sara Rubin -Ella -Quinta -Kristin -Devin -Jen -Curly -Eli Vasquez -Daniel -Amal Who do u guys want to they do next?

[@mjpink8408]

Alan Dillon also Daysha

[@yunjisworld]

The try guys! Any of them.

[@patriciaclairee]

I think Eugene's would be so interesting.

[@starsdaisuki]

Thank you sharing this! I have anxiety and pick my lips....until it bleeds..... (I know disgusting). Honestly though you explained the fixation perfectly.

[@kaidanariko]

starsdaisuki if that’s what you have it’s called dermitillomania. Trichotillamania is only pulling the hair and scans on the head. Derm version is all the skin I pick my lips head face and soles of my feet till it bleeds also rip my nails of the beds sometimes. I’ve actually removed all of the skin off my feet muscle was showing one time and no one would help. I’m in remission right now but on the verge of a relapse due to some things I’m going through. *hugs*

[@magdaara4343]

Omg so do I, since I'm like 7 years old at the same time I started with the hair thing!!!

[@starsdaisuki]

Maguda choclo ty for making me not feel alone. 💜

[@kaidanariko]

Maguda choclo my mom did the hair part and I wanted to be as different from her as possible (maybe a form of rebellion) so I moved to my perpetually chapped lips. And my nose used to get scabs inside from the cold (to clarify I live in a cold part of Canada. Nose scabs from the cold and chapped lips is 8-12 months for most) You’re not alone guys. Mine started at 6 **group hug**

[@rozach9504]

oh my god I thought i was the only one 😱

[@javinewhitter5393]

These videos r so good they show that people on social media has a life and have mental illnesses that aren't just your usual anxiety and depression and we all love you ashly

[@ren6295]

Ashley is my favorite as/is member because she is really relatable (in my opinion) and she is such a strong inspiring person.

[@JuliaLear2]

Ugh. My mom says “don’t pick your head” and it immediately made me frustrated when Ashly said it. I don’t pull my hair out, instead I pick my scalp and pick and pick and pick and create more scabs. And the hiding it makes it so much harder to not do it bc it’s so easy to hide. And the look people give you when you notice they noticed. Ugh. I hate taking my mental illnesses head on too. It’s too hard and time consuming. 😞

[@cynderbueno]

I do that too. Especially when im stressed out and very angry or frustrated

[@liyadeen9164]

Me too!!!!

[@meowmeow9403]

Just Jules, I think I have this too. I did know that other people did it too.

[@karenfrank7758]

I do that too!

[@j5892000]

Stress is a funny thing

[@spooksboh6251]

as someone with dermatillomania, which is basically trichotillomania's cousin, as in you pick at your skin instead of pulling your hair, i can relate to the feeling of needing to pick at the "imperfections" and not being able to stop even after i make myself bleed... it's a terrible feeling

[@dorajakelic6583]

Spooks Boh Me to.... Especially around my fingernails on my hands and feet.My cuticles look like I've been digging through dirt for days...

[@katerose3367]

I didn’t know this was a thing I just always thought this was a bad habit. My fingers almost constantly hurt because I always chew or pick at them

[@sammorrow3036]

Ah I relate im v bad for picking on my face so it's sooo obvious, in glad peeps finally are talking about these things

[@lucyclaire5673]

❤️ It annoys me that my friends pretend to have mental issues. Like, they causally say, “Yeah, I’ve got like bad anxiety.” When they actually don’t know what bad anxiety is like. Mental illnesses have become so normal now, like, seriously. It’s annoying when people glorify them. Please stop. I appreciate it when people speak out about what they are actually like, the trauma, therapy, and general toll it takes on your life. Stop normalizing them, stop saying you can relate if you truly can’t.

[@bristuder5706]

this is so true, and people are always, "yea my depression is really bad" like dude you dont show any of the symptoms.

[@chelseastudebaker2973]

Bri Studer some people are good at hiding symptoms though too. I agree it shouldn’t be said lightly, but I also know that everyone’s experience is different

[@bristuder5706]

, Chelsea Studebaker yes I agree, I should have worded differently

[@lobeliaowl2482]

This reminds me so much of people I know - they constantly talk about how they are "sooo oCd like I don't like it when my room isn't clean like aren't I sooooooo special like like like". It's just disgusting, honestly.

[@eclecroy]

A few years ago, I realized that some of my hairs were wiry and darker than others, so I started pulling them. It was really important to me to get rid of these strange hairs, for some reason. I no longer pull my hair, but I have problems with picking at my cuticles and nails all the time now -- so much so that I gave myself a gross infection that made a fingernail fall off. It's such a nagging feeling, and it defies logic. Thanks for sharing -- it's important!

[@katea3110]

I’ve had the same problems for about three years now and I literally cannot get myself to stop. Last year I wore my hair half up everyday for school to try and get myself to stop pulling with no such luck. I’ve told one of my parents and they recognize that it’s an issue, but not that it’s a mental disorder. There’s someone that I know who picks their cuticles like you, and I know I should have her be the one I talk to about this stuff but for some reason I just can’t. I can barely even talk to my parent about it because I’m so ashamed. If you have any advice at all?

[@irelandgracesmith8245]

@@katea3110 I've been doing it for years, I'm 18 now and recently decided to make an appointment with my therapist. Just taking this first step has made me feel better. I encourage you to do the same

[@lucymaddison6447]

Does anyone else realize how good Ashly looks

[@senordoge2674]

Nah

[@paulina394]

Thanks, Ashly. You're still my favorite person on As/Is, and you were my favorite on Buzzfeed!

[@snehaarora0594]

SavageBear and also in tasty studio

[@jonathan_wasilewski]

Dear Ashley: Thank you SO much for sharing your story. It made me feel so connected to people because I have O. C. D. also. Even though I have never you in person, and we live thousands of miles apart, it feels really good to have someone share their story, and know that someone, is kindly listening to you. Again, thank you for telling your story, and I sincerely wish you the best.

[@auraliax1323]

OH MY GOD, I HONESTLY WAS SAYING LIKE..I'M IMAGINING MYSELF IN HER PLACE, I WOULD SAY TRICOTILOMINIA, AND I FREAKED OUT WHEN SHE SAID IT GOSH AM I THE ONLY ONE LIVING LIKE THIS? i'm not alone.

[@auraliax1323]

@Jessica Ayivo good to find people like you cuz it's so rare for girls especially having this disorder..i had this for almost 5 years, and i can say that i wasn't that happy, i was like you not knowing that it was a disorder, so i did a research, and i find out that it was trichotillominia, it started as a habit when i had those dead baby hairs so i picked one up and it was satisfying to me, i didn't know that it will be that bad, i had anxiety and every time i'm sad i do that more, it's because of depression, i'm always embarrassed to talk about it because others will think i'm crazy, but i couldn't stop. I didn't go to the hairdressers for 3 years now because the last time they made fun of me, and others were confused, i hope you stop, it has a really bad effect on your hair, it might stop growing at all or it becomes oily, dry and broken and it takes forever to grow back, i advise you to have passion and tell your closest people to you like your mom or your relatives to tell you each time you start doing it to stop, always make yourself busy and use your hands for anything else but that habit, drink water and be positive, use eggs and oil for your hair before each shower so it becomes healthy, i hope you'll be better, that's a word from someone who has been struggling for the longest time :(

[@michelleharos2651]

before she said what she was talking about, in the back of my mind I was like" TRICOTILOMANIAA, nah bruh " and then I freaked out when she said that

[@auraliax1323]

@@michelleharos2651 so am i!!

[@hananghabris8946]

We aren't alone OUR LOVELY FRIRNDS WITH US ❤ And GOD WITH US ❤❤❤❤

[@jacquelinebacos7483]

Been picking since I was 10.

[@moongod5013]

so i started pulling my hair in middle school. i distinctly remember pulling out that first hair and watching it fall to the floor in math class. it’s been about ten years and i found the best way to keep my from pulling my hair is shaving my head. if it’s too short to grab, it’s too short to pull. 😊 good luck with everything, ash! love you!

[@mikonei]

Math trigger Lol. My first time was in an algebra class. I didn't realize what I was doing until I looked down at my desk and saw a ton of eyebrow hairs.

[@krazyglue1]

I've been pulling for years, also. I had about 7 years of no pulling and about a year ago it started up again. I've started to shave the side of my head to stop it, but then I go to other places of course. It sucks.

[@LazorFangs]

I also picked since I was 7/8. Stopped for a few years when people asked why my eyebrow was missing. Few years later I started picking my head. The last few years my head picking became so severe. I would also take pictures, use mirrors find the right spot and pick untill the wounds would no longer bleed. Its horrible. You feel stuck and entranced. I cut my hair short. At least I’m no longer obsessed with hair falling out. But I’m still looking for scabs and dried blood... (I never told anyone this but I feel like this is a safe space)

[@abbiwithani132]

Same I cut my hair too short to pull it

[@caitlunsford2440]

the fly thing is SUCH A GOOD DESCRIPTION OF OCD!!!!!!!!!! it makes me really happy to see you being honest about your experience - as you were talking, im remembering all of the different ways ocd expressed itself in me, and it made me feel really happy about how far i have come (and made me feel better about some of the work i still have to do) 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[@riseasthedawn-6250]

i have been ripping out my hair since i was 11. now im almost 17. i rip out everything from my lashes, brows, leg hair, armpit hair, every place on my body that has hair. i thought it was only me as i always told that it was a bad thing. im muslim, and family and the classmates at the islamic school i went to told me that plucking eyebrows was a sin and i was cursed by god. i always got into trouble for it, nobody ever really believed me when i told them i had no ability to control it. i only heard of the word trichotillomania when i read an article about a victoria secret model who suffered from it. it made me realise that other people had the same problem as me. i cant open up to my family due to their religious beliefs and i cant really stop. i need help. im literally trying to control my urges as i watch this video

[@isobelbird]

Hey, trich Muslim here. I can totally relate. Unfortunately the culture is not very open minded, forgiving or understanding and it makes it so much worse. You can always reach out to me if I can help at all.

[@riseasthedawn-6250]

@@isobelbird what do you do to control it ? ive been called a liar, a cursed person because i pluck my eyebrows. i literally had an episode yesterday and now im in the state of panic on how im going to cover it up. they are like eyebrow pencil is haram, eyebrow shaping is haram. and quarantine has made my urges even worse

[@isobelbird]

@@riseasthedawn-6250 To be honest I can't really control it at all. When relatives talk (as you know they do) I just nod and take it. My stepmum has said that people are talking because they think I have cancer (hijab and no eyebrows leave that impression) I say people can mind their own business. I'm sorry that I can't give better advice. Honestly just run away, tell people to mind their own business, or try and explain the situation. I know it's hard, it really is. Do you live in a particularly religious area/family?

[@riseasthedawn-6250]

@@isobelbird well i used to go to a conservative muslim school. do you even get parental support?

[@kayleighgriva4817]

Internet communities are helpful, the KZbin channel trich journal is good, as well as many others. Also fidget toys - try lots of different ones that feel right for you, and there is a bracelet called the Keen Smart bracelet (if you can afford it) that buzzes when you pull. Just know that you are not cursed, or a sinner, or a liar. Most people do not understand, but lots do. Much love x

[@EnchantedAlana]

my tricotollomania started with mosquito bites at the crown as a 6 year old... I'm 44 and now I'm reformed. So proud of you to share this! OMG

[@lorainey.4140]

My sister started with nail biting and since she was older I copied her at 5 yrs old then when she had trichotillomania in highschool I did it in college while I was still taking music...Until now she has it while I stopped when I took up psychology when I learned about it but then I went back to nail biting. It's so frustrating to remove this compulsive things whenever i try to grow my nails I switch to pulling my hair. I haven't tried to consult any help because I feel it's still manageable. But I wish all the best for you Ashly and oh I got inspired recently to exercise because you inspired me. 😊

[@servantofallah8029]

I love this series so far! By the way I have a suggestion for the next one: If any Buzzfeed employee has scoliosis (or even kyphosis), they should totally do a similar thing like this for it but if there is no such employee then they could act it out. Scoliosis comes as a bundle package with loads of additional things... not just a curve in the spine. For those who don't know what scoliosis (and kyphosis) is... well Google is your friend 😀 Support this comment by liking it on behalf of the Scoliosis Community.

[@rhonwenwestern6562]

ItzFlixx - Agario and More that is a very good suggestion, but I think if one of them were to just pretend or act it out, it would be full of stereotypes & people with the disorder wouldn't appreciate the video if it doesn't relate accurately. I think it would need a real scoliosis survivor❤

[@servantofallah8029]

@@rhonwenwestern6562 That's true but Buzzfeed are amazing actors lol. Don't worry they are trained professionals.

[@samiksha537]

Well Zach (Try Guys) had scoliosis, but now he left buzzfeed

[@servantofallah8029]

@@samiksha537 Oh my god seriously?

[@mogy6492]

ItzFlixx - Agario and More my little cousin is now 3, with a straight spine. But when he was 5 months old he was diagnosed with scoliosis, the one type that can be fatal, he got his first back cast at 7 months old. He went from monthly traditional casts, to 23 hour brace, to nightly brace, to nothing! We are so happy his back is now straight

[@ThePeytongrace]

“Do you want to take a breath right now?” That’s so sweet ❤️ such a good way to help you regain your awareness