Ask a Catholic Therapist ANYTHING w/ Dr. Matthew Breuninger

Hallow (3 Free Months): hallow.com/mattfradd
Catholic Lofi: / @catholiclofi
Dr. Matthew's Practice: www.wellspringccc.com/
Dr. Matthew's Podcast: / @askacatholictherapist
Books Mentioned:
Attached - www.amazon.com/Attached-Anxio...
VIA Test Link: www.viacharacter.org/survey/a...
00:00 Start
2:01 Intro (and well spring counselling and coaching)
5:36 Catholic identity (3 stage model)
6:35 Coaching (and 9:13 names of amazing therapists)
16:33 Differentiating coaching and psychotherapy
19:42 Ask a Catholic therapist podcast (without having to pay $80-100 an hour)
22:18 Start of about 40 non-previewed questions
22:32 Attachment styles (attunement, warmth, consistency)
33:32 Rupture and repair
35:39 Child discipline
43:08 Internal working models are flexible and reshapeable (healing is possible)
45:39 What is a categorical narcissist (DSM-5)
53:46 Secondary wounds (and book)
57:10 Freedom (Galatians 5:13)
1:09:31 Free beer stein
1:11:03 Cognitive distortions (thought errors and nuanced thinking)
1:21:48-1:25:05 Break Music
1:28:12 Combat PTSD (Trauma and five domains of life)
1:33:26 Deep integration
1:36:57 Organisational website for Catholic therapists (Allison Ricciardi)
1:37:29 Scrupulosity (OCD and Jonathan Abramowitz)
1:50:43 Prevalence of disorders (psychometrically rigorous tests and good clinical interview)
1:56:24 Medication (and chemical imbalance hypothesis)
2:03:57 Nutrition and exercise (continued at 2:15:14)
2:04:52 ADHD
2:17:11 Detached with love (drawing boundaries in an honorable way)
2:23:30 Gaslighting
2:24:35 Secular therapists
2:32:25 Artistic expression (positive psychology, virtue, and flourishing)
2:39:19 Values in Action test
2:44:37 Wrap-up (and dancing)

[@beckytatz1048]

I'm in the application process to get a master's degree in clinical mental health counseling and a devout Catholic. Please pray for this journey and my future patients, God willing.

[@beckytatz1048]

@Jessica Kim Thank you!! North Park University in Chicago (where I live). Hoping their Christian values hold true in their CMHC program.

[@lKinKagel]

Godspeed I'm doing the same at Divine Mercy University

[@lKinKagel]

@Jessica Kim see you there Godwilling :)

[@jennifer7648]

I am in the first of my last three courses to het my Bachelor's in Child and Adolescent Psychology.

[@beckytatz1048]

Glad luck to you all!

[@spleenery]

Half an hour in I already want to be this guy's patient. I need some serious guidance and healing.

[@manwhowouldbeknight520]

2 seconds into this interview and I'm like, "Oh, that's a mental health counselor voice." Like the platonic ideal of a therapist voice.

[@LeslieHayman11]

Yay! I'm a Catholic and a therapist in rural Wyoming, and I have a desire to integrate my faith and practice. Discerning about the road ahead. Praying for everyone who's on their journey!!!!!

[@SK-eg1gh]

I’m only 10 min in, and loving every bit of it! This is exactly what’s needed. The world is full of secular counselors who will not bat an eye and support you to get divorced, or ‘change your gender’, or medicate you for life, when what most of us need is someone to help us regain confidence in ourselves, and most importantly God, pick up our cross and live virtue driven lives. I can’t wait to listen to the end

[@sarahburke8955]

Wow Matt, you are just knocking it out of the park lately, so many fantastic guests!

[@sallyluck6896]

So happy to see this much needed topic ! Especially in this day when so many are lost 🙌🏻

[@johnpacheco3668]

I see and deeply understand what is being shared here. First diagnosed with severe depression in my teens later when bipolar hit the DSM. Im now 65. Your guest has me excited to hear more from him. I see he is passionate about sharing his girt and Im am a sponge right now both in recovery and the lords word. To have them both is awesome in a therapist

[@kiryu-chan577]

My son has OCD with intrusive thoughts. I really appreciate this discussion too. Makes me feel like we are all dealing with something. Through grace and courage it will get better. Keep trying to mature in your walk in Christ and it gets better and we find peaceful living through his love.

[@spleenery]

@@kiryu-chan577 I'm also struggling with intrusive thoughts. If you don't mind me asking, how is your son coping?

[@kiryu-chan577]

@@spleenery He is seeing a Nuerologist and he is better. He has his bad days. Covid was tough having to stay home and be bored and isolated. Now with school and friends and sports he is mostly fine. Going to Mass every week is important for him too. One thing I observed with him that I was impressed with is he has empathy for others dealing with these things. He made friends with this kid at school who has real issues. He's autistic, angry and getting suspended because of fighting due to being made fun of. My son may be his only friend but he tries to tell him to stay calm. They play video games together. My son has a ton of friends. I am proud of him. He believes in Jesus too. Now I am considering a therapist too after watching this. I think it's important to talk about it and realize there are many people experiencing these same things. How to recognize triggers too helps. Thanks for asking.

[@JP2GiannaT]

Fellow OCD sufferer with intrusive thoughts. I still have them, but I've had to train myself not to react. To say, "that's my brain, not me. I know what this is, and I just need to let it drift by like a cloud." They're still very unpleasant, but they last a much shorter amount of time now. Much easier said than done, I know.

[@MrPawPaw]

@@kiryu-chan577 how true. We all do deal with something. When we realize that, it makes loving people a whole lot easier. I'm reminded of the woman Jesus confronted at the well. We don't know everything they may have talked about but we know she had 5 husbands and was not married to the one she was with. It ends with her going back into town and telling the people, come see a man who knows everything about me. ( or maybe just starts) By God's grace I try to remember that before reacting to the driver who cut me off, goes too slow, the mouthy kid, the foul mouthed at work, the guy on the corner holding the sign. The thought, Jesus knows everything about them. Their pain, their struggles, their sins, their need of the love of our Saviour. Just changing my thoughts helps me to see that we all were drowning in the same sea. Some of us still are. We can help pull some into the ship. But others need stronger people than us to haul them on board. This was a very good video. Blessings

[@briannguyen1758]

Hi Matt! Great conversation with Dr. Breuninger! "One-Hundred Percent" Counter: Matt - 6x Dr. B - 18x FOR SURE; 3x where it was kinda like "hundre...." Yup. Love your content, helps me grow closer to Christ, and I can't wait to share it with friends!

[@nyakanyasko]

This was so helpful! Thank you for saying that it's better to find a good therapist than to find a Catholic therapist. I live in a place where finding a Catholic therapist hasn't been an option, but I found a great therapist who is very respectful of my faith. There are Catholic speakers out there who say things like, "make sure you find a Catholic therapist because anyone else will turn your brain to mush" and that was very discouraging to me. So hearing the opposite from you was very affirming and encouraging. I also like the idea of seeing if you can get your spiritual director and therapist to work together... Thanks again, and looking forward to your book Dr. Breuninger!

[@hellopaule]

What a great show. Informative and insightful. Makes me love people even more, knowing how we are all dealing with crap internally but striving to do the best we can in spite of it. And you end the stream singing Taylor Swift. Haha.

[@michaelskura1555]

Ttttt

[@david2theKay]

The discussion of rupture repair really inspires me for interacting with my own children. It also causes a lot of heartache as my mother unexpectedly passed away when I was 18 and there was no chance to repair any type of ruptures we may have had.

[@beverleypettit3577]

Lovely man with a truly calming presence. A privilige to listen to him.

[@alissamcdermott9636]

"I see you're drinking 1%. Is that because you think you're fat? Because you could be drinking whole if you wanted to." This was a great conversation.

[@Ioannes_Solis]

Hi fellow Catholics! I'm a Filipino, And I'm here just to ask for a simple petition, and that is if you can pray for our country the Philippines? Our Election day would be on May 9 and the election season have been messy, especially since the son of the former dictaror Ferdinand Marcos is running for presidancy; and on recent election surveys he is always getting the majority of the votes. A prayer would be indeed a great help for a country in fear of being stripped away of its democracy. Your prayer would be deeply appreciated!

[@VirgoBirrane]

This guy has the smoothest voice. It's how I'd imagine a therapist should sound.

[@jean-marcacham6923]

Absolutely wonderful talk. Thank you Matt and Dr. Breuninger.

[@SaritaBug]

Excellent content and guest! Thank you wholeheartedly!

[@jamiemiller7106]

Excellent episode!!! One of my favorites thus far!

[@devon6294]

Halfway through and I've already taken more involuntary deep breaths than I have in the last month. Great show! What a blessing.

[@marifavineles6342]

Great interview, lots of learning coupled with laughter, indeed a blessing to listen and watch it too. Thank you Matt and Dr. Breuninger🙏👏👏👏

[@reneespinosa9560]

Thank you for this interview. God bless.

[@phoult37]

Awesome guest! So many great, practical suggestions and examples.

[@kayemleo87]

Oh my gosh, can we just have a full episode of Matt and Matt doing Taylor Swift Karaoke and Napoleon Dynamite impressions? "100%!!!!" I am (like you M Fradd) undisciplined and never finish anything, but I was so taken in by this episode I stayed all the way for the finale, and what a finale it was. Great show, great topics, I read all of the chat, and it would be so amazing to hear Dr. Breuninger's responses to the questions asked there -- please bring him back!

[@CulturedGem]

I could listen to Dr. Breuninger all day. Thank you for this presentation.

[@elsh332]

Wow!! Matthews voice is soooo easy to listen to. I could listen to him all day and all night! Thank you so much for this conversation. There are so many things I could comment on and so many I have been helped in.

[@laureenscianimanico8498]

He is one of my favorite guests yet, and I've been an avid listener since this was "The Matt Fradd Show"!

[@LeslieHayman11]

K beyond excited to listen to the podcast!!!

[@SBL19681]

Thank you for using my question! That was cool!

[@shebathomas4080]

Thank you Matt. God bless this work you do and bring such talented speakers and touch on such subjects which is in a nascent stage in the catholic circle. Dr. Breuninger has a new follower. :).

[@EpoRose1]

My favorite part- Matt: Okay drink five cups of coffee and then what? Dr. B: … maybe two, let’s start with two…

[@patriciaguerrero80]

Phenomenal episode. 👏👏👏 Dr. Breuninger, God's blessing be upon you and your work. Really, really enjoyed listening.

[@Thomasfboyle]

Best episode of Beers with Bonaventure yet!

[@noahhastings6145]

I found pints with aquinas through catholic lofi and vibes with aquinas. I'm a filthy protestant, but you are certainly continuing the powerful catholic intellectual tradition.

[@cathieblack266]

Nothing filthy about Protestants, you believe in Jesus! Catholics just have a long tradition, Church Fathers who spelt out/thought through the details and wrote stuff down. And the sacraments- Gods Grace. I just think it might be harder without them. ❤

[@Burberryharry]

Yeah those fathers don’t always agree with RC claims. People think all Protestant aren’t versed in the fathers and it’s annoying.

[@rebn8346]

​@@Burberryharry Have you read Ignatius of Antioch? Polcarp? Ireanus? 😅

[@Theklay1354]

This episode blessed me tremendously. As someone who suffered from severe scrupulously all through high school and college, Dr Matthew seems to be the only therapist I’ve ever heard who really “gets it”…and I’ve been to many Catholic therapists for treatment. Keep up the great work Dr Matthew! -from a fellow Ave Maria Alum! 🙂

[@teresavall3343]

THANK YOU for the shoutout to AMU and Dr. Gregory Vall!! I'm his daughter and I went to school at Donahue Academy in Ave for 11 years - Truly a blessing to hear this message from an alumnus. Great topic for the podcast, keep up the good work, Matt!

[@susiefromomaha]

Excellent! Love your sense of humor, Matt. Dr Brueninger is very kind, intelligent and I like listening to him, very knowledgeable, too, and the topics and great questions from listeners were very helpful.

[@jackfbn]

In my top 3 favorites... Beautiful discussion!

[@billlyl3725]

Fantastic conversation. Thanks

[@emilymckellar7443]

Soo needed this. Very interesting. Loved it.

[@victoriasantos9465]

This is gold 😊 thank you

[@nhuergop]

Please, upload this episode to Spotify, if you can. Thank you. Outstanding show, as always.

[@kyuzo9764]

Worth every minute! On a badly needed subject.

[@suzanneschwertner3026]

This was a great discussion!

[@ricardom.6850]

Great episode! Thanks!

[@saragrafpiano]

I’m laughing and crying. What a beautiful interview!

[@nancyawad952]

It is one of my favorite discussions on this channel

[@anaramos9493]

This is amazing... I work with teens and young adults and I can see how the parenting style they received or are receiving affects their current relationship with God and just religion over all.

[@pauladorez4421]

Thank you Matt for your very special guest today. As a single parent of two boys, back in the 80's, 90's, I was very neglectful and disrespectful towards my children and I know I brought them many painful situations but, as they grew up I also grew up and even though I thought it was too late that I had done so much damage, your guest has allowed me to understand how I can repair our relationships which has happened with my older son and yet have not completed the work yet to do with my younger son. It's taking time which is ok because, like he says there is hope and change can happen. Learning a lot from your guest. Thank you for your interview with him. Love it and understand so much from him. Thank you Dr. For your insights on many subjects.

[@jodieelizabeth4905]

Amen 🙏

[@LifeandJunk]

This was a fantastic interview! Dr. Brueninger has a depth of wisdom and knowledge that’s refreshing. I’m currently working on my PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy with an interest in researching Spiritual Bypass. Dr. Brueninger, do you ever take on mentees? 😅

[@andresortiz6]

Please have him back for another interview!

[@TalkingwithaGoodManPodcast]

Morning Matt! You said you try to answer all your comments. I emailed you a few times about 7-8 years ago, then about 5 years ago on the advice of a close personal friend of mine and yours named Everett. I have never heard from you, (no judging! I know you’re busy) ;-) Fast forward to Feb 2021 and after leading an all-Hawaiian-island Catholic Knights Men’s Monthly Conference for an entire year in the “Into the Breach” series, I began a podcast called “Talking with a Good Man” while also being Active Army and having a Family. I also began and led (and still leading!) a Catholic Men’s group here in Hawaii called “Brothers in Faith” for the last 2 and a half years. Now this Lent 2022 I just wrapped up my Screwtape Letters Lenten Series on KZbin where, every day of the week during Lent, I would read a Screwtape Letter followed by a commentary by either myself or a special guest such as my close Family friends Jim Beckman, or Chris Stefanick, whom I SURE you know. I say all that as sort of a “Resume” of my past leadership in the one true Faith in order to see if you will be on my KZbin podcast show. It would be an honor. Please get ahold of me. kzbin.info/aero/PLz2tZAX1IoZ7BnbPr3u13VMW5Te2HbuP3

[@rosiegirl2485]

As far as I understand... I don't think Matt reads his comments. I have heard him say it before..if I remember correctly..he said they pull him down if its negative. Which I can clearly understand. I am sure the comments can cause an emotional storm inside. Maybe become a patron. He does live chats..so you could ask him anything. I believe you can join for as little as $10 a month.

[@teresacantu1184]

I still have my daughter pray, but a let night or two slide, but she still sees I pray every night, so now she prays more often on her own. His mention of Rigid, sounds like Pope Francis, so it's us that put pressure, and not the love of praying. My daughter sees the proof in the pudding, but I still share with her tradition, because if we keep changing tradition it's not the original which is what Jesus taught, he's the way, not us. Protestantism is a good example of how far things have strayed off from the original. So don't force but explain why it's important. I discuss these things with my daughter all the time, tradition is important, and if we do our job correctly our kids will see the importance too, we can't change Jesus ways to suit our own, .

[@angelamfranco3583]

Excellent! Thank you!

[@dawndimock]

Thank you so much, so helpful for me as a parent,

[@nhuergop]

Please, upload this one to Spotify. I loved it.

[@colleenfrance]

Sooooooo goooooood!!! Definitely get Dr B back on with his new book 📕

[@MsSlider10]

I would love to hear Dr. Matthew Breuninger on Hallow 😉😊

[@thatfellowthere3634]

Brilliant video!

[@susankiernan2988]

I am about to graduate from a great counseling program at Divine Mercy University. Dr. Sacasa was my first profesor. I am excited to hear from Dr. Breuniger.

[@singlikeyoumeanit3261]

The discussion on NPD was very helpful, all I'm gonna say. Thank you

[@patriciasheehan5734]

Just love Dr Matt’s voice

[@abbyk9989]

This is awesome! You should also get Dr. Andrew Sodergren on here! He's a lovely, humble guy and his work is amazing.

[@paix1234]

Great speaker. Very true.

[@kwekwlos]

Thanks for the video

[@perhael]

What a conversation. Please let Dr. Breuninger know that I would love to help with any Graphic Design needs.

[@patriciasheehan5734]

I love this guest 👏👏👏👏

[@sarahwagner6837]

Here in Northern Virginia we have a Catholic grad school for the mental health fields, Divine Mercy University. It was such a blessing going to their clinic when I needed it in my twenties (a number of friends also studied there).

[@lKinKagel]

That's really cool I'm currently applying there and hope to study for my masters in counseling, Godwilling

[@sarahwagner6837]

@@lKinKagel Prayers it goes well!

[@andypresby6537]

The thing about "gaslighting" is everyone's definition of "legitimate concern". I think that the introduction of this term into common usage has provided (ironically) another way for people to ignore legitimate criticism.

[@daisyviluck7932]

And the fact is, some people *are* crazy. Or “remember” events that nobody else (who was present at the time) remembers. Or engage in revisionist history in spite of actual evidence.

[@teamarie123]

I was undiagnosed with adhd for the longest time because I couldn't drink coffee without having a panic attack so I only ever focused on my anxiety, but as I grew up I learned that a lot of my anxiety was tied with my adhd and when I was on the correct medication it really helped, but caffeine still makes me anxious.

[@angrypotato_fz]

20:25, Matt, disagreed here :) It's not overproduced (although maybe sometimes the planning for the interview could a bit live up to the production value ;)) You're on a good, professional level - high quality of video and audio, pleasant and quiet background, one technical person dedicated to everything other than the discussion. That's a good approach. There are many non-catholic content creators like this and I'm very tired of some myth in our church, that quality doesn't matter. Beauty matters, aesthetics matter, details matter, respect for viewer/listener matters. I appreciate that you put money into production!

[@lindaames3109]

Also, a good book, DVD guide, and study guide is Chip Ingram's "Overcoming Emotions that Destroy"--- Practical Help for those Angry Feelings that Ruin Relationships.

[@Littlemermaid17]

A great episode

[@christianazacarias]

Hi Dr. Brueninger. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us. I agree that there is a deficiency in the integrated study of Catholicism and Psychology. A book called "A Catholic Christian Meta-Model of the Person: Integration of Psychology and Mental Health Practice" by Paul C. Vitz, William J. Nordling and Craig Steven Titus somewhat addresses this issue. It was published in 2020 by Divine Mercy University. It's worth checking out!

[@christianazacarias]

@YAJUN YUAN I was looking for this timestamp thanks!

[@sophiagarza7817]

That's awesome. I am thinking about becoming a life coach for Catholics and Christians in general.

[@haydongonzalez-dyer2727]

one of the best

[@daviddrefcinski5288]

Dr. Mario is awesome! He gives great talks to seminarians! Dr. Robert Casselman in Diocese of LaCrosse, WI is excellent for seminarians as well.

[@lizzygrant02]

this was speaking to the deepest corners of my soul haha

[@CulturedGem]

I don't want to be the plaything of life. Yes! You summarized it all in one brief sentence.

[@shepherdessinthefray]

I can say that although my parents love me, and are imperfect (we all have issues to work out... I will not go into vast details but parents divorced at 8, and there were traumatic parts of my life growing up) - somehow Jesus Christ has pursued me from an early age (11 or 12 years old) and has walked with me intimately through my own failures and shortcomings. I have never viewed my God, and still do not, like I do my earthly guardians. Christ works with each of us individually and surpassing what we are able to perceive and control as children or parents. Take heart.

[@caz604]

This is a great talk! Rupture and repair is so similar to reconciliation with God. Confession, rebuilding that relationship with God. So beautiful. As far as being able to say sorry to my kids, I've learned to do it as much as I can. I feel it sets a good example, of openness and shows our kids that we are trying to limit being hypocrites as Dr. Matthew said. Good stuff!

[@bettyboop341]

Matt will you be putting this onto podcast platforms? Thanks for your great work!

[@user-kg7lr2mf1g]

Everychild has gift. As so does everyone. Its realising that gift.

[@tlcoftc1]

Thanks!

[@leahophals4668]

Hi, Matt Fradd! You should have Leila Marie Lawler on and talk about her “Summa Domestica”…it being an Aquinas pun and all. Keep up the good work!

[@oceanblue3803]

Absolutely 100%. I have a TOTAL anxiety attachment with God. When I sin or do ANYTHING “unholy”, (way too often); I wait for God to punish me and stop loving me. I feel punished constantly by how many loved ones God has let die in my life. Most recently, mu husband of 41 years.

[@zenakassab5455]

So sorry for your loss, God loves you no matter what 🙏🙏🙏

[@LeslieHayman11]

I have to say, I think you said "a hundred percent" once Matt, but it is definitely Dr. B's catchphrase 😄😄

[@JimboJohnsy]

Thank you both! I'm just coming to the end of an MSc in Counselling. I often worry that my catholic beliefs are starkly at odds with the 'progressivism' of the wider Counselling profession. Obviously counsellors are naturally more likely to be higher in aggreableness and empathy and therefore tend towards the political left. In the UK it seems the BACP and the Counselling community is tending towards a more extreme version of that. Finding a place to operate in alignment with my catholic faith is proving a challenge!

[@Bungadin2845]

Have you tried the Association of Christian Counsellors? There is one in the UK 🇬🇧 as well as the US 🇺🇸

[@JimboJohnsy]

@@Bungadin2845 looking into ACC as many of my peers are members. Also I'm a member of the Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministers

[@airstar444]

Hi! Will this interview be posted on Spotify? I’m very interested but only use podcast download a at work! Thanks!

[@Soh583]

We all need a healthy narcissism to look after our boundaries. It’s different from pathological narcissistic personality disorders. Also there are different kind of pathological narcissism . I really like the therapist on the show, he is warm and deep. But pulling the book out ? You need to know it by heart as our world today is running on relation to narcissism. From one psychotherapist to another 🙏

[@sallyluck6896]

Wow Attachment anxiety 😳 that's kinda me ☹️ How do I work on that??

[@harroldt9092]

I remembered Dr. Daniel Amen when you guys were talking about ADHD, brain health, diet, lifestyle, etc. You should check him out! Great conversation by the way!

[@famvids9627]

He's obviously heavily criticized for saying you can diagnose using brain scans which turns out to be false.

[@Fr_KevinChukwurah]

Nice video; very educative and thought-provoking. Luckily we have an institute devoted to a complete integration of psychology and spirituality; The Psycho-Spiritual Institute Nairobi, Kenya dedicated to training Psycho-Spiritual therapists.

[@benklebba538]

Dr. Matthew reminds me of Kobe Bryant.

[@11antun]

Dr. Brauninger, are you familiar with Hagiotherapy from Dr. Tomislav Ivančić (kroatian chatolic Priest) ?

[@laurants]

I loved this interview, did you?

[@josephososkie3029]

Goodness of fit with a therapist can be tricky. Making sure he’s your guide not your god. I have reasons why I would not pick Dr. B. But he is right about therapists who will slap anything on their shingle including “ Catholic”.

[@bitemeagian1]

The Mans School by Ryan Donovon and Bill Snieders. Coaches that support Therapy.

[@teresavall3343]

“What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight; build it anyway.” - Mother Teresa Keep up the good work!

[@ioannamalton5743]

Will this conversation ever get added to the Spotify podcast channel? I scrolled back to around the time it came out and couldn't find it there.