Ask this question to stop a behavior

[@Sarcasmarkus]

I need to stop watching KZbin.

[@demosbackos800]

This

[@imheretochewbubblegum]

Me too.

[@BWater-yq3jx]

We all do.

[@jabba0975]

Losing discretionary time, and decreased ability to think critically/intelligently due to watching videos aimed at the 'lowest common denominator'.

[@currentfaves65]

Top Five Answers on the Board KZbin KZbin KZbin KZbin KZbin

[@lfox_777]

I think not everyone thinks deeply enough for this to work but I imagine it works for people open to change

[@debunkthelies]

Excellent point, and so true!

[@debunkthelies]

Those individuals typically serve themselves and not others. It’s a heart issue primarily!

[@igoretski]

Moneyball (Brad Pitt): "And I hate losing, Chavy. I hate it. I hate losing more than I even wanna win. There's a difference."

[@mfawls9624]

Haha! That's me in soccer as a defender.

[@johnmartin4461]

What am I losing by watching KZbin videos... ...hobbies, family time, better relationships, friends, adventures with my dogs, a clean house... See y'all later, I got some things to take care of.

[@garythompson9452]

You'll be back.

[@3glitch9]

The brain entrainment is real

[@cohay6248]

Thank you. That's exactly what I was thinking.

[@lisaknecht2217]

You're not wrong.

[@The.Journey.to.Freedom]

😂😂😂

[@PCTC47]

Fear of loss is, as you know,greater than the “thrill of victory” for most people. Good point.

[@walterbackgammon8436]

I don’t think that question would stop any kind of behavior in most people tbh

[@yvonnemariane2265]

?? Wow ur speaking for others too. Did you even try it anyway?

[@walterbackgammon8436]

@@yvonnemariane2265 I’m not speaking for others, I’m giving my thoughts, just like the video asked.

[@forhadrh]

Yeah, really. I didn't feel a thing. FOMO is a powerful psychological tactic but this question need some paraphrasing.

[@no_regerts5176]

You must not deal with people who have NOTHING to lose.

[@GrowWildOutdoors]

It's called "opportunity cost" in economics in case anyone wants to learn more

[@85rockhound]

Actually, this is a good question for me to ask myself right now. Good timing. Thank you.

[@nunyabitnezz2802]

I love educated people who think you can talk everybody out of doing bad things.

[@chrissysonicutdrloz]

That would only work if you feel like you've got something to lose.

[@borgullet3376]

Exactly

[@abcdefzhij]

As someone in dire need of stopping a behavior, I think this might be extremely helpful for me, only time will tell, but thank you so much

[@SweepTheLeg2023]

❤😄 An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that to prolong his life they should cut out sex. He and his wife discussed the matter and decided that he should sleep in the family room downstairs to save them both from temptation. One night, after several weeks, he decided that life without sex wasn't worth living. So he headed upstairs. He met his wife on the staircase and said, "I was coming up to die." She laughed and replied, "I was coming down to kill you!"

[@royscott3432]

Your joke/story was FAR better than the stupid advice this gal gave.

[@SweepTheLeg2023]

@@royscott3432 👊😄

[@stephenhobbs4753]

One must understand that there's a myriad of external forces vying for your attention, hoping to manipulate your mind, usually to extract something from you. Very few of those external forces are pure in practice and deed. It may sound cynical, but I'm older and have experienced many things and understand most people live in their own little bubble and do not deviate... Disagree with me if you like, but deep down you know it to be true...

[@malcipops]

This is an excellent question 🤔

[@kathyphillips1272]

Simple yet powerful ❤

[@johndoe4073]

"What am i losing out on by doing this behavior?"

[@daverao4996]

Very good point. The obvious supplemental question is then “How much is enough?” too

[@LovelyLady1111]

Yeah I figured it would be something like, "how does this really help you?"

[@gr8dvd]

@35s THE question (to stop self-sabotaging behavior): "what am I losing". My take - it’s not either/or. What am I losing AND what’s to gain. Regardless, key is to be SPECIFIC, tangible gains from deliberate changes in behavior &/or specific, tangible loses from failing to change behavior.

[@chugchug5657]

How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? None because the light bulb can only change itself. 😂😂 You can try but it comes down to the person.

[@stevehaman9469]

Using logic only works if the person is logically motivated as opposed to emotionally driven. The behaviour itself is just a symptom, not the root cause of the issue. The cause is often far deeper and more ingrained into one's psyche and brain chemistry than a mere "is this a good idea?" check whenever the behaviour has progressed to the point of no return. One must recognize and acknowledge the warning signs long before the behaviour has had a chance to come to a head. At that point decision making is based far more on the gratification of the immediate impulse as opposed to the concern for the long term consequences. Sort of like the guy who says "Some day I'm going to stop procrastinating..." This concept works great if one is truly self disciplined and in control of their feelings and logically looks at the whole situation rather than just the temptation of the moment. Such people are rare individuals, if any truly do have that ability. It takes a lot of training, and developing of the proper mental conditioning, to do this. We are not by nature prone to delayed gratification and future rewards. We are by nature selfish and self centered sinners that are far more focused on immediate pleasure and satisfaction of an impulse than altruistic humble servants of God and our fellow human beings. Without God's help we can change nothing, really, but only attempt to hide and cover over our failures and shortcomings and sin and guilt. Put up a false front, a facade, sugar coated poison and whitewashed tombs. We may look good on the outside but our inner person is corrupt and broken and in need of transformation far deeper than we can produce on our own. We all need redemption, salvation, transformation of the heart and soul and mind. We need forgiveness and mercy and cleansing and to be made new from within, not just our outer personality. We need Power from on high. We need God. Otherwise we are at best well groomed corpses. All dressed up with nowhere to go.

[@Samp734]

I would be losing out on having a better relationship with myself and others. Awsome video. Thank you ❤

[@NJCommutr]

I'm not sure if it works for me, but I noticed you said "loss aversion," but the caption spelled "loss of version."

[@hebbo72]

Sure, this is the only way. And focusing continually thinkin and feeling bad and stop thinking about anything else.

[@TheDWZemke]

I need to stop watching KZbin videos of people wearing white bras and leaning forward to drive more viewers.

[@LogisticallyMisrepresented]

So someone is doing a behavior. And them doing this behavior has some kind of outcome or reward. Some how they are able to evaluate what they are not getting by doing what they are already doing, simply by asking them. What outlet of academic excellence was this imparted from.?

[@bleuebloom]

well i think the point is that asking directly and saying out loud “i am losing out on xyz” is better than just like knowing it in the back of ur mind

[@royscott3432]

The behavior I am going to stop doing is watching any more of this crap. She IS pretty though.

[@david22591]

I'll certainly try it. I think for well ingrained behaviours it might be more difficult for it to work, if it's a trauma behaviour perhaps?

[@iconoclad]

What was the question? I couldn't get past the clenched teeth and the vocal fry.

[@InknbeansPress]

0:35 What am I losing out on by doing this behavior? The fear of loss is greater than the hope for gain.

[@adamkahuna1166]

"What am I/are you losing out of by doing this behavior?" Thank you for this tip, I will try it. 328:7. 30/06/2024. 13:38. 5 941.

[@roberttorres6552]

Giving the person the benefit of the doubt, can be taken too far. After, multiple times of crossing your intellectual/emotional boundaries, the situation must be addressed. So, the negative behaviour can be addressed. Trust issues will grow, if both parties do not work together, to deal with negative behaviour. This applies to family, friends, co-workers and intimate partners. Ignoring unwanted negative behaviour can create resentment and further erode trust issues. Equity can be helpful. But, unbalanced dynamics already in place can be challenging to the point you just want to create distance, that is appropriate and healthy. Each situation is unique.

[@LogisticallyMisrepresented]

Good, so no benefit of doubt allocated to you.

[@graciegracie]

I agree with your take.

[@billelderidge7712]

Yes, i know what i am missing out on and its a lot but how can i get the behavior to stop in the big question.

[@GrahamLaight]

Very good idea, and I gave you a like. However, IMO if the person whose behaviour needs to change is your spouse: (1) Try "I'd love it if..." first (2) you should be willing to get them some coaching to help them to change

[@elliot1784]

I would like you to stop the behavior of not going on a coffee date with me soooo what are you losing out on for not going on a coffee date with me 🤔 👋 😁 👉 ☕️

[@darrellgray191]

I never win so, I don't worry about it

[@wannamonslo9626]

Doctrine of repentance. Thank you!

[@sperg1]

00:34 Also, not worth your time lol

[@margaretlee-reed814]

For most it would work ... even if only by default. Causes a pause to think .. catches most off guard. Those that need to hear (or be asked) the most would simply bite someone's head off ... and see the/any potential loss as a threat (or consequence). Not able to reflect, self centered or instant gratification issues and need to "win" at all cost. 🤔 Self Reflection ... Begin teaching when people are young. Add to kindergarten & first grade curriculum and (coping/self improvement) skill engrained for life. But, still going to use this line of question one day! 🙏

[@BWater-yq3jx]

I thought it was 'WTF??' 😄 But seriously, thought-provoking question. 👍

[@AmadeuShinChan]

I sometimes tell myself, "I donot wanna go, but I wanna come back"... Been to hell's kitchen and back😂

[@JensUniqueNibblesandMore]

😂 when I really don't want to run my errands so I'm procrastinating, thinking about what things I'd rather be doing. When I realize that's what's happening I say to myself Well, I can't come home if I don't leave

[@AmadeuShinChan]

@@JensUniqueNibblesandMore thanks, that's what I mean!

[@yvonnemariane2265]

SO GOOD! Instead of "what might I lose?" which just brings anxiety -- what am I not getting right now cuz of (bad habit). Brilliant

[@zravena-1309]

WOW thanks actually

[@CB87.]

Comes off first as complex math then rounds off to making all the sense in the world 🙌

[@knick5032]

I can't stop feeding my dog...every single night like clockwork. Do you think I have ocd? What could my time be better served doing?

[@spookycat5927]

The way I’ve sort of similarly thought of things is ‘don’t give up what you want most for what you want right now,’ but the question of what you stand to lose is probably more visceral and effective. Thanks for the insight ❤

[@reneemac111]

I was defending Trump, before he got shot and my friend hated my input. Then Melanie said, let’s not forget that differing opinions, are inferior to love. Defending Trump has resulted in a lost friendship. Should I have asked myself what am I losing if I go there, or should I have thought fight, fight 🤫

[@Mxyzptlk94947]

I would like to know if this works to stop people from worrying. I always thought those people choose to worry to beat themselves up.

[@WileysShenanigans]

Blah, blah, blah.....

[@rbfarrell1]

I stopped dating or even bothering to talk to American w-m-n unless it is business related and I have never been more wealthy and drama free. I book a flight out of the U.S. when I want female companionship with fun, fit and feminine w-m-n. You need to know when something benefits you and when something is a big negative. I workout at the gym 5 -6 days a week because the positives out weigh the negatives of not going.

[@DaemonForce]

Just something that has been bothering me for a bit and decided to ask this question. The only answer I could come up with is "a massive headache." Maybe this is fine. Thanks.

[@kurtschlarb9762]

Pretty creepy. What's really going on here? What am I losing out on while viewing this nonsense? Well, my TIME for one thing.

[@aslantheguardian9008]

It depends on the person and how big their Ego driven pride is. This will not work on my parents or my sister. However it might on my brother. I consider both losses and gains due to a behavior. So out of 5 people, that's 3 fails, 1 maybe and 1 success. Not to say that this is not a good method. We have to try every method to see what works with each individual.

[@fengmingandy]

I used this on my wife for her behaviour, and now I'm sleeping on a mattress at the lift lobby

[@reneemac111]

🤣🤣

[@damianlopez7630]

I don't know but her pose and the way she looks She's just mesmerizingly beautiful and I know she knows it also probably a tactic to get us to watch her video it worked with me so far❤

[@Mpediment]

330$ a month at least. My wife and I Vape. Used to smoke so….. step in the right direction, but still……

[@amirnabilenough7802]

Perhaps only if people such as myself were not so mixed up if you know what I mean would it even then work. Anyway any feedback would be welcomed.

[@goplayoutside47]

Good stuff! That will help me! Thank you ma’am! 🙌🥳

[@JensUniqueNibblesandMore]

God bless you 💕 This right here helped me finally stop nail biting Thank you

[@babaganouche9605]

Off topic, but where did you get that shirt? I am looking for quality basics and that's the kind of shirt I want.

[@BanFamilyVlogging]

I’ve always used the question “what would I regret more” to help me make decisions 😝 #SameThing

[@iliaalvarez9247]

This is a very important question to ask myself in many instances & also to add into my assisting others to stop harmful behavior. Thank for sharing. God bless you!

[@sapperEvO]

Emotional intelligence and awareness is the issue. Most people have wires hooked up to potatoes in their brain.

[@justincoats7236]

I think so. I've spent way too many years shaming and blaming myself to try to get change.

[@rajivgolcha]

It is a very Impactful Question, I Like your Wisdom . Thank you.

[@selohcin]

Will this work to get me to stop doing something? Probably. Will it get others to stop doing something I dislike? Probably not.

[@whereswaldo5740]

This works for useless behavior. Like stop being nice to narcissists. Stop feeding their egos. Set yourself free.

[@jimramsey3279]

Hocus Pocus. Cuban Voodoo. Black Magic. Psychology?????????

[@theresaandrade5708]

I heard you say how to ask yourself that but I didn't hear how you would ask to get the other person to stop their unwanted behavior. Maybe it's because I thought you meant a behaviour towards me that I don't want from them rather than a behaviour destructive to themselves if there is any difference.

[@stevenfoust3782]

What ??? Crazy people don’t self evaluate and you can’t fix stupid

[@NickDanger-t5c]

If folks could actually see, hear and feel the effects of an action, a remedy could be put in place. Making them actually think about it is a strong catalyst.

[@Ana-xq3yr]

Amazing!

[@douglas9607]

Plenty of jokes in the comments but a good video. Thanks with a sub/likie

[@mikemph7779]

You are incredibly beautiful. Thanks for sharing this!

[@Kevin-hy8ok]

Interesting stuff. I think this would work for those who tend to be reflective. I doubt it would be an effective question to others with the exception of children who one could train to consider this question.

[@kamalahasanmoorthy2066]

"*God Bless Everyone Take care all long Lives 100 years and above all*"

[@georgerebovich3758]

Why do shrinks always seem so dead-panned and depressed? What are they losing out on by this behavior? 🤣

[@ST-rj8iu]

To me I always say, "what is the compelling event"? Why do I care about this or why do I continue to do this? If there is no objective I am achieving, then I should let it go.

[@markberman6708]

I need to be better at understanding when I click for interest and when i click for looks...

[@TheRoyalBloodline-fj1wy]

Nothing matters cus nobody is listening to me. All the gangs are against me and isolating me why won't this end!?! In supposed to be rich and famous by now!?!?

[@Jcremo]

This question will not help my nine year old from constantly picking his nose.

[@D.M.S.]

I does not help me. Because suddenly I have a hole in my life and nothing to fill it, because I don't know how to change the thing I don't want to do anymore. I don't want to be lonely anymore. I do therapy, I go on dates, I read self-provement books, but I get heartbroken, cheated on, left out of nowhere. I fall for the false people, so I change myself, so that this doesn't happen. Everybody tells me, that I made so much progress, that I achieved a lot. THEN WHY DO I FEEL SO FUCKING TERRIBLE AT THE TIME?

[@trudipaxton1296]

I think that maybe the answer is to be happy and fulfilled by yourself and then meeting someone special becomes a great addition rather than the whole world. I understand your pain and frustration, I’ve been there, but you cannot rely on another person in order to be happy. I’ve learned to be content alone…..it’s not necessarily my ultimate goal but it’s better than trying desperately to meet the right person; I get on with my life while I still have one! I hope this helps you in some small way.

[@humanseekingtruth6080]

Leave it to psychology to not understand human nature, the more we want to stop something, the harder it is to stop that thing 😅

[@JackbenimbleJackbequick-dc9lj]

Don’t you just love knowing that you are not only intelligent but beautiful as well

[@richardthompson6366]

What would I gain if people stopped asking me questions?

[@colinhopkins3676]

Apologies but you need to redo your working life 🤯🤯🤯🤯

[@TheKlink]

I'm going to ask myself this question. I don't think it'll go well if I ask it of anyone else in my life

[@JENNIFERGOTTI]

Informative; good video. Jenny

[@mikewhiterobot]

Doesn't really work if you have nothing to lose.

[@antonv5488]

Благодарю, Олеся, за полезный контент. С меня подписка)

[@twobeagles1365]

I thought, Lets go camping Olesya .

[@stripedassape8148]

consider the risk-effort/reward ratio of the behavior 🤔

[@lou704]

How would you say the narcissist would answer?

[@omlette0]

What are you doing? Simple

[@Tiger-uw6pf]

_Do I need to stop hoping for someone on the earth to love me. Or the hope of finding someone to love?_

[@marioride2447]

Dickens process or scrooge pattern in NLP. 🍷🗿

[@JimzAuto]

Whenever i see glasses on top of head I think they’re trying to increase their perceived intellect… a ‘smart flex’ if you will.

[@II-SPONGE-II]

Until they start looking around and then ask you if you've seen their glasses haha

[@philherrick7319]

What did you lose out on by making this clip?

[@currentfaves65]

Tried it, nothing stops the power of KZbin

[@robking12697]

Or what am I gaining by doing this behavior❓