Ask Ganjiswag #37 | Junaid Akram

[@BoloWajahat]

This series is the best thing i listen to and somehow it helps me figuring out my own problems. Never stop making these junaid bhai.

[@malaikaikram3602]

Sir ap bhi memes done kry ispy🤝

[@legitdealers3359]

ap tou memes kay liye dektay hai na 😂

[@farjadhasaanbajwa]

Memes too

[@SyedZaidKazmiSZK]

Wajahat Sir kasay Hain Ap

[@usmanazam4662]

Yeah, one of the best for sure even in my case. TBT is also really awesome.

[@madihajamil]

For Australia waly bhai who is working odd job. I can totally relate to your situation as my self graduated from NED in IT, i moved to Australia as permanent resident and could not find a job in my field. I was so depressed at home that I applied to every single job and finally got the job as early childhood educator. On my 1st day i had to clean the kids toilet. I was crying on my way home. My husband ask me to leave the job as I was not the primary breadwinner and my husba was heartbroken to see me like that. However i was so sick and tired of staying at home I continue thinking i will leave it once I will get a “better” job. The reason I was not respecting my job because I am Pakistani and we are very status conscious...either we accept it or not. After working in the industry for one year I come to the realisation that how much respect I received from parents and how much love I received from children. By that time I also understand that in Australia if you want a higher position you have to work your way from bottom. I stayed in that job and started studying in the field, I work in the industry for 6 years and with hard work I work in all the roles. Finally I decided to do my certificate 4 in training and assessment and now I am teaching diploma and certificate 3 in early childhood education and care. Now you need to ask your self why you hate your job? Is it because log kia kahain gay? Do you find this job small and not respected? If yes then I would highly recommend you go an watch movie “tinker bell” it will teach you no job is small and you can make your mark by doing it amazing. 2nd thing- living in Australia even a small job will allow you to have basic needs met. For example good education for children, you will not be thinking k “yar fish itni mehangi hai hum tu khana afford nhi krsakty” The basic standards of living is good. Second point: being a woman and lived in Karachi, I cannot imagine how I would react sending my daughter to school or any where considered the amount of harassment I have faced all my life from being stared at an touched by creepy people in public transportation. Koi kam chota bara nhi hota, rizq e halal kamana ain ibadat hai. If you get this in your mind you will be at peace. Lastly the thing that changed my perspective on this completely was, “ once I was at the masjid and the speaker said, if a person will have the tiniest amount of pride in their heart will not enter jannah” i was in deep thoughts, thinking that me saying I am not doing this or that job is a sign or arrogance that I consider my self above other who I think should do it. Is that pride??? I hope you understand. You can msg me if you have any questions

[@zainabrao8274]

Much respect for you. May you have all the success in the world!

[@usmanzafar5619]

Very thoughtful

[@faiqkashif8688]

17:25 For the girl who’s best friend is getting married, “ woh din gaye k mohabbat thi jaan ki bazi Kisi se ab koi bichre to mar nahi jata” - Waseem Barelvi.

[@anshulkatara568]

For Australian brother Bro, continue with your current job and develop your IT skills. Life is about all about learning specially when you are in IT.

[@Bukharian-gw8mv]

Exactly what I was gonna say, he needs to light his fire for IT again. It is the most viable route for him.

[@vayani]

I am in Sydney, working in IT as well bro. Develop your IT skills based on latest trends and pass certifications. Believe me you'll get the job eventually. Unfortunately, Database Developer job role doesn't exist here anymore.

[@r87359]

Try to do IT certification in IT security field which is not easy to outsource, had same issues when I moved to San Francisco in 1998

[@Hjnaqvi]

I'm also based in Australia, working in engineering sector. There are lot of opportunities in engg and IT sector in post covid era in Australia because no. of immigrants are highly reduced and lot of industries are looking for right people. You need to improve your linkedin profile (add some certification, courses, recommendations) and contact with multiple recruiters in your field, frequently call them to discuss about the any upcoming vacancy. Inshallah you will get a good job in IT sector soon.

[@SabeenShalapy]

PhD girl, please continue your studies and research, don’t waste this opportunity. Wishing you much success!!!

[@aj-fatima-pearl]

Agreed

[@F-Khan491]

The fear or problem that girls or their parents face due to late marriages, i.e., at 35 or later years of age is having children of their own... A woman's window to bear a child become lesser & lesser as she grows older, hence the worry :(

[@aj-fatima-pearl]

@@F-Khan491 that is indeed the catch 22 for girls

[@nooro5766]

She can find a boy on her own !!

[@obaidslife]

Please continue your PHD and look for a rishta in that period then get married after completing your PHD.

[@degenerationx7904]

PHD girl Plz continue your studies You can't even imagine how blessed your having so much success at such a small age MashaaAllah You cant even imagine how many girls would give their life to be in your shoes..

[@zaheer74ful]

👍🏻

[@abeerawajahat138]

Yes I agree with you I would give any thing to be in that position

[@nidasabih4084]

Phd sister USA: Persue PHD first. Also if you can then look for someone whi is already settled in the US.

[@nooro5766]

Full bright ka yehi problem hai .. Pakistan rehne parta hai 2 saal.

[@mirzahammadrizwanmughal4067]

when u said: pata ni kitne hamare school dost guzaar gaye honge that's hit me hard...🥺

[@AsifRaza-pl1vz]

True 💔

[@sidrajahangir6684]

Same ufff’q kay merey2 frndz calss fellows cancer se death ho gye un ki,muje whi demag main aye

[@mirzahammadrizwanmughal4067]

@@sidrajahangir6684 its really sad to know

[@rameezsandhu9703]

For that 15 years old kid He should complete his studies and move abroad for further studies isky yehi behtar huga that he lives far away from his parents and same time he is also independent

[@muhammadminhaj6448]

That kid has some grandiosity issues. The language that he is using for his mother just for not appreciating his grades is not normal. Junaid could have done a better job here instead of taking side with an abnormal behavior.

[@hammadhussain3082]

@@muhammadminhaj6448 I partly agree with that. A lot of Pakistani kids actually get it better than Pacific Asian and Indian kids. Most of us have no idea how strict those families are. However, very few details are available about this specific kid's case. Imagine not being appreciated by the people who you most relate with, while everyone else is proud of you, and they're also exploiting him BTW, by boasting about him but not saying anything good to his face. I think it's good that he vented, even if on an email, now he should focus on leaving and being independent, instead of being abusive and destroy his afterlife.

[@muhammadminhaj6448]

@@hammadhussain3082 well we are talking about a 15 year old Pakistani kid who is most likely still living under the roof provided by his father, eating the food prepared by his mom and typed that email on the phone/laptop that he can’t even afford by himself. Pakistani parents are not that expressive and he did not tell us that they are abusive to him. Instead of being grateful to those things he is cursing his mother and trying to play victim card here. Leaving the country won’t fix his issues . He should adjust his expectations, learn to be grateful for things that he already has , improve his communication with the parents and focus on his studies. We only know one side of the story and so far nothing sounds alarming except his language for his mother . This is the only time I felt junaid was seriously wrong about an issue and his comments would only fuel the fire.

[@KhanRaza00]

His email was reflecting only the one side of the story though. It would be great if someone from his family listen to this and tell the tails of the other side as well.

[@hammadhussain3082]

@@muhammadminhaj6448 Weird of me to reply to a 3 weeks old comment, but just saw it so... I totally agree with your take on him trying to be more grateful and compromising when it comes to expectations, because without that you can't achieve much in any relationship (whether personal or professional) even if it's not with your parents. However, it's also unfair to downplay the impact on the kid's mental health caused by living his growth years, under pressure, with no emotional support. You can already see mild symptoms of ADHD from the way he talks about his mother. The title he chose for his email was obviously intended to grab attention, even though a little of that is common in teenagers, but this ain't normal. He at least needs therapeutic help, if not counselling and a push to be fiscally independent.

[@fatimaasif3622]

For the PhD girl, Look, not everyone in this country is smart and hardworking enough to achieve what you did up till now, so please don't throw it all away with shadi. You should carry on with your Ph.D. and not worry about the pressures of getting married. US main bohot mil jaye gy ache Muslim mard who are okay with their wives having a career and prioritizing it unlike the kind of men here in Pakistan, you know what I mean. I wish you the best of luck with your future and hope that one day you will make our country proud.

[@fatimaasif3622]

@Altaïr yes, that's obvious.

[@AbdulRehman-hu9xe]

I never heard like someone encouraging me on anything except you. Plz don't end this series and keep encouraging us the way you do. Beautiful girl wala point 💯🤍🤍🤍🤍

[@nafeh101]

The only desi uncle to whom I can listen about an hour with full concentration. Lots of love junaid akram ❤ I cant stand my few teachers in college for more than 5 minutes. U are the one jis ko 1 ghantay without getting bored mein sunta hoon. Thanks junaid sir ❤❤❤❤

[@nidasabih4084]

For Australia waley bhai. Koi online shorcourses kerein preferably online. To upgrade your knowledge. If you can volunteer part time on weekends for few hours you might end up making good.contacts that way you might end up with a good job. Kuch bhi ho contacts works. Also hire someone to make an attractive CV.

[@jimm-j]

You are number 1.. I am commenting because you inspire me a lot. In my 1st semester I just got 2.9gpa but after watching your videos I got inspire in the precious semester I got 3.94gpa. THANK YOU FOR INSPIRING ME

[@MohsinCJ]

Cheers 🍻

[@aj-fatima-pearl]

Kudos to you man!

[@darthvaderr8]

Tips do bhai

[@jimm-j]

@@darthvaderr8 apne group k member pr depand hona chordo bhai auto gpa achi ho jaiegii

[@ladybird7489]

For the girl whose friend is getting married. I feel you are experiencing something called separation anxiety. I would suggest you to channelise this anxiety by making memories with your friend and enjoy her wedding function and let her live her life and get yourself a routine and start working on your hobbies. It's completely fine to love your friend to any extent but it becomes a kind of but unhealthy to the point when you start depending on one person emotionally. So take care of yourself you will fell better soon Insha Allah 🙂 For the 15 year old o level student. Junaid has already talked a lot about this but I want to add something here. Adult relationships and their behaviours are very complicated you don't know what your parents might be going through so don't hate them for treating you like this. Maybe they are not in the best state of their mental health to be honest son a Pakistan is full of people having different mental disorders that remain undiagnosed and lives of their loved ones get spoiled due to their toxic influence. For you I would say go to the therapist have session speak up about your pent up emotions and feelings. You will feel better for sure. In order to survive in a toxic atmosphere where parents don't influence their kids positively, a lot of childhood traumas happen. So do seek therapy I can't stress this enough. You look like a smart kid I would like to see you happy and flourishing no matter how toxic the factors around are 🤞🙂 all the very best

[@maccaroniblog]

For the girl whose friend is getting married, sister agar woh dost apki sachi dost h toh humesa hi rhygi don't think k woh chali jayegi ya dhur hojayegi, dosti kabhi b baat krny sy time guzarny sy nhi measure ki jati balky apki compatibility kitni h, ap comfortable kitna hn or kitna reliable hn... These things which really matters!!!🌼

[@samiam9247]

In our society this is the toxicity. Our parents never treat their kids with love.

[@Hirasoutlet]

For the Phd Girl: Pursue your career goals, marriage can wait TRUST ME! Do not give into the pressures of our patriarchal society. Please do something with your life. You have such an amazing opportunity from Emory University! Please don’t waste your talent. Shaadi toh ho hi jati hai

[@goata007]

Phd girl: Finish your studies, meanwhile ask your parents to start looking as well, give them a couple of nice pics of yours + rishta profile + what kind of guy you'd like. If a good rishta comes along you can always make a quick visit to Pak to finalize things. Also, there are apps like Minder & Muzmatch now, you can try out those apps as well and hopefully find a compatible life partner. Don't listen to people saying to ignore marriage, because in Pakistan rishta scene gets tough for girls in their late 20s, if you wait to finish your program you'll be 29 and its quite late. Best of Luck!

[@iraeeschaudhry]

I totally agree with you that don't listen to people saying ignore marriage at the same time i'm not saying that don't proceed with your studies. Try to do things simutaneously and find a man who can understand you and support you in every scenario. You can also find someone from usa and continue with your phd.

[@Blue-iv5fv]

FOR THE PERSON WHO SENT THE LAST QUESTION. i don't know if you will see this now as i am like 4 days late to comment, but listening to your question reminded me of my childhood. the only difference that i am glad about (besides you being really really good at your studies) is that you have realized how emotionally abusive your parents are at a young age. you still have the strength and hope for a future where you don't have to be with them and do as they say. my parents fight a lot too and i can completely understand how horrible it feels as a child, some of their fights still remain in the dark places of my mind decades later and to this day it is hard for me to associate the word marriage with happiness. i would like to give you a word of caution though, just like they do with your grades, they might try to control your further studies or which field you follow, your career, social life and even your potential marriage, so keep an eye out for that. also, i learned it in my twenties that i grew up with a lot of toxic concepts from them which crept into my mind even though i was trying very hard to not take lessons. it took a while to unlearn all of that bullshit and i am still not done learning the right things. i would like to advice you to listen to a lot of good people about being kind to the world and to ourselves, because one of the worst things that my mother taught me was to hate my own body and to be unsure of my own capabilities. that coupled with the fact that i didn't know they were outright abusing me ruined my life. you can plan your life, unlearn the harmful and toxic behaviors and teach yourself to be a better person. Also learn about abusive behaviors and what it means to love someone and ourselves respectfully, that would help you grow as a person and avoid harmful and abusive people in the future (if you can find the right things KZbin is a treasure trove). i find that since i was not raised around love, i did not really understood it until i taught myself with the help of the internet (not the usual media and movies as they are pretty stupid when it comes to love and all that). Focus on loving yourself (body and mind) as no one can love you better than yourself and know that blood doesn't make family, love and respect does. I know how much you wish deep down that your parents were appreciative of you (i was the same and somewhere i still feel that way) but know that it is not your fault that they turned out to be horrible people. you deserve to be treated with love and respect and i promise you that you will be able to find good people and friends that will treat you right and be proud of you and appreciate you. And at that time, you will be able to call them your family with a huge smile on your face.

[@ushnahwaris4368]

I would say you are not a teacher but you are a great life coach 🙂👍 I would like to call you "Life Coach".

[@ramshaamir554]

For PHD Girl: Continue with PHD, find your life partner in America, call your parents to America in future, live happily:)

[@ArifArslan786222]

She cant stay there... She has to go back for 2 years to work in Pakistan. It's one of the clauses in the scholarships.

[@brigtm4723]

Junaid bhai has benefitted thousands through his work keep up the good work

[@Hilder221]

Junaid Bhai is a big shot. He can live in a foreign country but he lives in Pakistan. Choosing depression over happiness. Even visiting clear waters and coming back to murky ones. It must come as a shock when you return from abroad. But these are the reasons that make you actually blessed. Some deeds are impossible to pull off. They come from a genuinely good heart. That is impossible to grow. But you can put in numbers. Sweat and toll. And even that adds up to a lot. In that way Junaid Bhai is sitting on top of a mountain.

[@usamakhan8965]

For Australian guy : Do not make mistake to returned to Pakistan stay in Australia you're related to computer field learn some new trend skills like digital marketing, social media it is one of the most demandable skills in Australia and Australia is one of growing country in IT you will easily find job and will definitely make place in this field as you mention you are computer enthusiastic and there are lots of skills like this which you can learn 4 to 6 months if you re fast learner and highly intellect. Do not move to gulf as junaid bhai explain nothing is good now in gulf we spent our whole life in these countries and they reward us nothing even passport and PR. my opinion is spent time in Australia get your Australian Passport it make your life easy and your children or spent your life in a country which reward you something in the end dont think about gulf.

[@Playteachlearn]

Just look at your fan following, out of 61k subscribers, 50 k views 👍shows excellency!!👍Masha Allah . Coaching at its best!

[@YS-th7di]

Feeling sorry for the last email I think it's solution should be k ap sae trha apni studies continue kro and when you reach a certain point in life Continue your own path ... and plz don't repeat the mistakes your parents do

[@JohnDoe-ig1yw]

PHD sister Please please please continue your studies. Marriage can be done at 33 too.

[@sidrasuleman9284]

Second question wali sister, there are several courses that you can do to keep yourself busy e.g. candle making, cooking, baking, sewing, computer courses, religious courses, book reading. Whatever you like to do, whatever your interests are. Do something what you like or enjoy. Get a part time job if you’re studying. Try to make yourself busy. You can also start blogging or vlogging. I have gone through what you are feeling right now and believe me nothing is constant in life.

[@DRAMMAR05]

Yes you are right. One of my cousin is an agriculture engineer and he was brought up in a village.his parents were finding his rishta and came to know about a girl who was PhD and that asshole and his family refused her just because she was too educated...alas! People are assholes.

[@nooro5766]

Lucky girl 😄

[@shoaibshr2090]

Unko dar tha parhi likhi agai Tu inky village py he na qabza krly 😛

[@adeelsafi1669]

KAALI JENNER LMAO

[@omerahmed5776]

Your podcasts and Ask Ganjiswag sessions are so motivational. I literally wait for them and listen them when commuting to work. They really motivate me to learn something new at work, acquire skills and give my best shot. May Allah bless you, always.

[@siddikgormani]

For Australia bhai You and your wife can try home based business of frozen desi food Samosa,shami kebab etc. It can be first step to your business

[@moeezkhan.]

I always wait for askganjiswag episodes very anxiously ♥️♥️♥️

[@ibrahimmohammad8820]

Junaid bhai the first guy idk the name, just start freelancing brother and just take out 2 hours in a day for you and you can earn a handsome amount from there if you are a programmer.

[@javeriaz9534]

The girl pursuing Masters, please pursue your PhD program. And Insha’Allah I think you may into post doc as well. Focus on your academics because with time, you may feel lose your strength and determination for it. This is the time to study as much as possible. Plus, junaid bahi is right. Working environment in Pakistan is really draining, especially for women. I worked for two years in MNC and I was grateful to leave it and Pakistan when I got a chance for international studies. Good luck!

[@sasif89]

Hour long video. Nothing related to my life.. yet im waiting for it for days. What drug did you put me on? :D keep on Junaid, we need you!

[@syedwaqar11]

same

[@sharozintizaar3138]

Same thing

[@dafftranua8648]

Alhamdulillah my school best friend is still with me

[@smurf9456]

every IT engineers are thinking the same. In India every every engineer want to do something else or startup but not a S/W engineer. Just go with the flow don’t move out of your current passion until you have a proper financial backup. Learn ML or DS, move towards data science if you have DB knowledge. These are just my views. Things are very critical in life but world is not a heaven. Junaid is correct.

[@mosiqi-e-manish2480]

This has to be episode #37, instead of #36. Hope it helps!

[@GanjiSwag]

Fixed, thanks!

[@ahmedmemeswala9064]

@@GanjiSwag wow you respond so fast!!

[@khurramsardarbangash]

For Full Brighter PHD candidate Girl: Don't compromise on your dream, Get yourself a Guy who will support your PHD ambition Or else Don't get married.

[@Evkayne]

yeah man exactly why not both.

[@monissaeed6152]

For Australia waly bhai: If you don't have any visa issue like If you residency , please don't think about going back . If your job is not more than 8-9 hours then set aside 2 hrs daily or a full day Saturday or Sunday for learning . You can easily get Certified in 6 months on AWS which is in demand worldwide . Search for the skills and start developing them . Show some pseudo experience to enter. Don't feel like your kids won't be proud of you , you have done alot and you will do even better. Take it easy. Don't go back to Pakistan or any gulf country. Gather some money and apply visa for your parents or visit Pakistan every two years. Hope this helps. Mulesoft is easy to learn and in demand in Australia

[@usmanarshad495]

For 15 year old Boy. I understand your perspective but I would advise you to, just for a moment, try to look at things from your mom's perspective. (you'll have to be very un-biased while doing so) but may be you will be able to see why is she being so hard on you. Perhaps (on a positive note) she is giving you a hard time at home so that when you move on with you professional life, you are ready to face all the challenges that await you? Even if its not the case, I would recommend you to try focusing on the positive aspect of things and In shaa Allah it will help you to improve yourself. Bhai you can not call you mother (or anyone) in a way that you have mentioned in the subject line. It can not always be easy but please be respectful and I promise you, you will not regret it ever in life. I wish you all the best.

[@jassiz6845]

Plz pin this comment!

[@humayunnaveedkhan1281]

Junaid bhai this is the best series from any Pakistani KZbinr.. I always search for the new ones or listen the old ones for the best practical advices.. Alhamdulillah for having you with us

[@MuhammadBilal-eh8qp]

No need of a therapist when you have Ganjiswag 🙌💯

[@allpakistanshow5956]

Last two question are something people faces alot but don't discuss much around and I think people should discuss for awareness and not to fight or create a conflict 👍✌

[@AsadK5.0]

FOR AUSTRAILIAN IT GRADUATE GUY I think you can start freelancing as well as doing the job you have. You can start with a single skill easily. It can take a few months to take off but I think it's worth it. You probably have a good circle of people from IT so you can collab with them as well. Nothing is gonna be easy but it's worth it. Cuz being Independent is a Luxury. Wish you the best of Luck bro ❤

[@reemmanzoor5778]

Very happy the questions are finally different from the shadi and shadi k masle

[@ahircultureandheritage]

For that kolkata guy : 1. Competition is high byjus , unacademy and also amazing tutors etc. 2. Start a youtube channel Example - unacademy started as yt channel now became a billion dollar startup.

[@ramshaaijaz6307]

For PhD girl. There's no one in this world who will think of you or take care of you more than you in your life. I understand that you want to be with your parents, but there's nothing more fulfilling for parents when they see their daughters happy. I took this step of coming to the UK at the age of 29 and literally spoke to my mother who is in fact a single parent and my father passed away in 2010. You really need to voice your concerns to them and do what makes you happy. You only live once!!

[@Deepthoughtsforever]

For the brother in Australia: I was in a similar boat and living in New Zealand, as long as you are working as a database developer, you should be fine. Keep the faith, both AUS an NZ have a very good job market. Dont worry about having average skills etc, what matters most in this culture is how you fit best with them. Stay positive, inshAllah you will be fine. I think (and I may be wrong) one of the biggest reason for you being worried is Australia is too far from Pakistan and you are definitely missing your family. I'd suggest if you could spend a few months in Pakistan or bring your family to Australia then you might feel better. Good luck!

[@tabsheerali6144]

Hey Junaid Bhai. Adding to your point about not fighting at home in front of the kids. You know how several parents fight in front of kids but later apologize to each other in private? Well, there is one couple I know. If they do have a disagreement in front of kids, they make a point to play-act apologizing later in front of the kids, so their kids learn about this aspect of patching up too. And I think it is something that more people should do in society. Edit: of course not having arguments in front of the kids is the ideal solution, but there are some instances where disagreements end up happening.

[@dontlosehope2723]

Parents fighting is SOOO lethal you can NOT even imagine....there is a VERYYY good video regarding this "Organic parenting by Sahil Adeem" ....Its AMAZING and MINDBLOWING....i was never aware of such things...Mother talking bad things about child's grandparents, Child's dadyaal ...poisoning child about his father...All of this is explained in that video...This comes in "Red Zone" (Level 3) in children upbringing. It DESTROYS your child's personality!

[@jejelala3199]

PHD GIRL i think persue phd. for parents u can do nikkah and then do the rukhsata when u finish phd. Parents also happy!

[@imadahmed7384]

better option dono khush

[@AllInOne-kw6uh]

bilkul

[@koliyash8603]

👍

[@ibrahimlodhi19]

For Australia waley Bhai: Agar toh app kay pass Australian nationality hai and family kay pass bhi, toh phir jahan achi job mil rahi hai kisi bhi dunya corner main toh app zaroor jayen. Lakin, agar nationality nahin hai toh phir sacrifice karna paray ga, in sha Allah things get better for everyone

[@sajid9613]

For Australian brother: You are one of the luckiest people who have studied tech, have a job, live in a first-world country, have access to high-speed internet during this pandemic. Here are a few things that I think you can focus on - Don't be mediocre. You think you need to be an all-rounder and know lots of tools to get a tech job. This is totally wrong. - Get in-depth knowledge in one or two areas. I suggest you upskill yourself in cloud technologies. If you already know databases, then learn modern cloud-native databases (Document, Graph, Relational, Key-value, Search, etc.) - Invest in learning. There are many online learning platforms (Udemy, Pluralsight, KZbin, LinkedIn Learning, A Cloud Guru, Coursera, etc.) to learn new technologies.

[@humanrelationshiplab2128]

For the teenager with shitty parents: - it sounds that your parents are narcissistic sociopaths. they have not provided any love and validation to you as their child. - Since you are young you are currently in the cycle of trying to understand why this is happening to you. You are wondering why they are behaving this way? what did you do to earn this lack of validation and love from them? This is part of your self-discovery, evolution and first step towards an elevated and emotionally evolved grown-up that you are destined to become. Trust me I have met and shared stories with SO many people of narcissistic parental abuse and they used that experience to make themselves far more evolved than their parents could ever even dream. - you are a brilliant kid. you are wise because you have asked the question "why should I suffer because my parents act this way towards me?" this is a sign of high intelligence and high self-awareness. this is a sign that you internalize your control to yourself, you do not let the environment dictate you. You don't blame things on circumstance and this will lead you do great things in life. You will be the architect of this life yourself and it will be a happy life, a fulfilling content life, surrounded by real good-hearted people. Will your path be difficult? Yes...yes it will be. But you will go thru it with grace. - its a hard pill to swallow but your parents do not love you. you are not alone in this. once you start this journey of self-healing you will meet many people from all across the globe who have endured exactly the same fate. narcissistic sociopathic parents are a human phenomenon. You need to understand: ITS NOT YOUR FAULT THEY ARE THIS WAY. ITS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO FIX THEM. ITS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO RUIN YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND LIFE FOR THEM. - As Junaid mentioned, use your intelligence and your grades to get out of this hell. The world is full of good people. You will find them once you get out. This is the only way. Once you find support groups and connect with people you can consolidate the experiences of other people and conclude by yourself that this IS infact the ONLY way. This has NOTHING to do with religion, culture, geographical locations. Narc parental abuse is a human condition. It never goes away. It cannot be reasoned with. YOu can't reach closure with them. the only way out is to go no contact or minimal contact. - As a teenager the best strategy for you is the grey rock method(google it, it's a known strategy to existing in narc environments). Be invisible to your parents. Do not share much info. Do not participate in their petty mind games. Do not engage in dialog. Bide your time. Focus your mental energy in achieving excellence for yourself. Your goal should be to get the hell out of here and never look back. Education and career is your ticket out. - Typical narc abuse starts from childhood where they break you down, make you feel lesser, never genuinely acknowledge you or your feelings, never genuinely applaud your achievements, no matter what you do NEVER seems to be enough for them to be happy. IF any positive words come out of your mouth they are usually a qualifier for something that is coming after that. Its a constant mind game and you will exhaust yourself playing this game all your life but will never win. Once you are grown up enough to move away, they will go in a years long rant of how you have abandoned them. Remember that Narcs use any bit of info you give them to manipulate others and drive attention to themselves. Once that stage is over and they will begin to see that you actually turned out strong, successful, balanced grown up, they will again leverage YOUR hard work and use that to seek attention to themselves. They will act proud and boast about how successful they have made you. They will totally disregard what they have done to you because in their view they arent doing anything wrong...not now...not ever. ______and listen....its OK. we don't choose our parents. you got bad ones. its ok. there is more to life than carrying heartache over shitty parents. not worth your time and mental energy. Once you have overcome this experience YOU WILL BE A FORCE TO RECKON WITH and that's what matters. One thing that you will realize is this experience has also given you some superpowers: 1. you have the ability to see thru people's bullshit right away. So you can use it to only surround yourself with good people. this is important. 2. you have an internal discipline of working hard and achieving success. you will go places and do great things. one thing to watch out: don't pursue perfection. teach yourself this mantra "done is better than perfect" These things will really help you in life. I wish you all the best. Be true to yourself. You will do great. much love.

[@shahidmehmood3542]

For the Lady from USA __________ about CSS you should watch videos of Aashir Azeem he was a CSS officer(not just that) then he immigrated to Canada .......The reasons he told in one of his videos were very honest(just felt honesty) and believable. He is a very experienced man he would never recommend you to choose this path.

[@aligohar2350]

Junaid bhai maza agaya aj to full mood me hai aisi hi banaya kare videos best one 37

[@killa8076]

I am a student. Will definitely support you after I start earning.

[@extnixcaraudio]

For Australia Wala Bhai -> Dude you are in the Land of opportunity, don’t limit your self. Working for kids to be proud is wrong approach to life, you have to enjoy what you do. There are so many short courses that you can do in different fields.

[@sararazi8760]

House wife ki friend " absolutely right

[@subhanafatima1254]

Best friend getting married: Though its a difficult situation and certain suggestions of involving yourself in different hobbies, i would recommend you to take a professional help. Emotional dependency do occur. No one is emotionally strong to handle these situations. Either resolving and creating a mess out of this situation, help yourself.

[@MSthesmart]

For last question, it's somehow reminds me my childhood too even though my parents aren't arrogant but not appreciative and asking for "Do More" everytime. Remember grades are not hanging on trees it requires heck of the time effort and crucifixion of your desires and games. I loved to find the reaction of the student. They will realize when you deprived from your grades what they are looking for for the sake of social pride.

[@syedrashedi8220]

They are not appreciative in front of you but trust me parents feel very proud from within. Don’t talk bad about your parents I request

[@MSthesmart]

@@syedrashedi8220 No one is perfect. Even my father talks about bad habits of my grand father so we don't make those mistakes. I was making general criticism. I didn't say anything negative to my parents. I am just telling the truth. When I was in prep 2, I was forced to move ahead to class 1 but my progress was not up to the mark, I return back to prep 2 for the rest of academic year. Next year I got first position among 90 students in school and I never fell then. Later, I was forced to take biology from grade 8 to 11 and even I was brutally beaten for a disagreement once. Still I would say parents don't think bad about their kids but their execution have some faults.

[@MSthesmart]

@Arhum Rashedi Parents wanted grades I provided them grade in FSC part 1 pre medical by getting 87% highest in my district malir BTW I am from Bin Qasim town. Still my parents was asking for 90% above which only 1 student got even though they spend less than 10k and I got tuition for two subject and I studied rest by self.

[@MSthesmart]

@Arhum Rashedi What wrong I said please quote it I will delete that part. But I can't delete the whole comment because that's the truth what so ever. Second I am and my parents are anonymous so there's is no point of defaming. Third my father has humiliated me in school and public for being under weight and having problems at home. He complaint about me to my class teacher that I make noises at home even thought he never discusses with me nor give any warning. He destroyed my respected image at school. Fourth Have you heard about a medical student in Karachi who doesn't have the access of tuition for biology in 1st year even though my parents still had high expectation from me. Show me a single medical student in FSC who doesn't have biology tuition I will pay you 10k dollars. I couldn't attend adamjee college because it was 2 and half hour far from my home tho. BTW my father has accepted the fact that he did injustice to me by providing tuitions to my sister not me. Last I may not delete my comment because I said something offensive for my father or disrespect, I may delete my comment because I don't want stranger to discuss my personal life and pass judgement on it. The only fault I am thing of is my word choice probably. I could have said better If I expressed it in urdu. In fact I didn't use cuss words to my parents like the student in the question. Then why Junaid Akram choose his or her commit and endorse him or her. Why I am wrong here?

[@theartistic_wall]

Phd girl ! Please continue your studies. I am a dentist myself so i know what a big opportunity it is ! Don't even think of wasting such a big deal ! Shadi to ho hi jati hai you are a cream of the nation!!!

[@faizanziauddin6]

For Australia wale bhai Instead of moving to Pakistan try applying for a job either in Canada or USA since living standard is close to Australia and living in Pakistan with family after almost 10 years will be tough

[@Shicomogs]

the 2nd girl is dumb? she is like larkon ka sahi scene hai bc yaha merey school friends nazar hi nahi atey jabke rehtey bhi ek city mein hain

[@aizazahmad8138]

ahahhaha Thanks bro... yahi reply mery mind mai b aya😂

[@Zeratul187]

Have some compassion

[@hkhz25]

It's your own choice or your friend's... In case of females they are restricted by inlaws or husbands.. Please understand the difference.

[@aizazahmad8138]

@@hkhz25 medam or males k sath ye masla hai k shadi hoty he wo badal jaty hai... Ni dety phir dosto ko time us tarah sy... zahir hai priorities change hojati hai...

[@hkhz25]

@@aizazahmad8138 I know that but still that's not forced/imposed by someone else rather then circumstances...

[@triplemmmify]

For Austrailia walay bhai Dekhain the trend of social media in the past few months has been leaning towards seeing people go from 0 to the top, for example someone starting an online store they share their whole journey ,the ups and downs, I would suggest kay you can pursue both being a content creator AND learning new skills although it won't be easy but that is how you know that you are doing the right thing, and as you learn more and create videos of you going through that journey you will feel motivated and have a community, big or small, supporting you towards a common goal, sharing with you the mistakes they made and advices etc, this way you'll learn new tools even if they are so many and at the same time create content that shows a journey which people might enjoy InShaaAllah, good luck may Allah make it easy for you and put His barakah in it.

[@aameraftab8767]

Australian Bhai.. My case is almost the same. I came to germany in 2013 after completing my BS Computer Engg. I am actually from very humble family background from a totally non-developed village of South Punjab. My father was a simple Police Constable. I did 2 years of teaching job in tevta Pakistan after Bachelors but this was nothing to do with my future professional career. Aur soony py suhaga jb main germany master krny aya to yahan bhi 4 saal master main lagaye aur sath main aik non-technical job krra tha(Because kisi bhi trah mjy peechy family ko support krna tha aur 15 laakh udhar utarna tha, We are 7 siblings and I am the elder one). But when I was doing my master thesis I decided enough is enough now I have to go with my IT career. I did my master thesis in data Science. After completing my masters I found job in Data Science and was failed because I was away from professional field almost from ever. Than I found my second job in Lufthansa and it was going great but suddenly corona crisis came. But after these two jobs I gained lot of confidence and in parallel I studied online cources and books daily 2 to 3 hours after my job work (even today). Now I found another very good job and its my 3rd job and every job is giving me confidence and experience. No worries take some online training and believe in yourself. When I was down i watched motivational videos and listened Sandeep Maheshwari. He is one of the best motivational speaker. I also listened Ganji Swag and some others. Please think in long term not in short terms. If you have good career you can grow your children in a better way and you yourself will get lot of personality grooming chance and skills. Stay confident. If you still need any more info please contact me on my fb id: facebook.com/aamir.hashmi.501 Never Loose hope. You still have a courage and stamina to do it bro :) Best of luck

[@uzairqureshi1410]

Bro could you help me to i am too confused now a days . I am from south punjab multan .

[@aameraftab8767]

@@uzairqureshi1410 sure bro

[@innerworld3551]

for Best friend getting married: The art of losing isn’t hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster. Lose something every day. Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. The art of losing isn’t hard to master. Then practice losing farther, losing faster: places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel. None of these will bring disaster. I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or next-to-last, of three loved houses went. The art of losing isn’t hard to master. I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster, some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent. I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster. -Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident the art of losing’s not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster. this poem always works for me whenever I feel nostalgic.

[@usmanazam4662]

@smart kid: take a leaf from your rother's book, do away with your unappreciative parents, no matter keep doing your best, you will be way successful eventually and find tons of folks in your life to appreciate you. Don't become arrogant though, try to say grounded in life eventually and have a vision in your life.

[@mohanrawat6777]

For Australia wale Bhai..... Bhai please be assured that you are not late to do anything. Start learning online and upgrade yourself we are fortunate that we are living in a digital world as fas as education is concerned and you too can also go for the courses which are required in your field. Just gather your self and take the leap you can do it , looking forward to see you shine. Best wishes

[@68Xray]

TO THE GUY FROM DAMMAM - Bhai there is no point in asking your wife to come back. As Junaid bhai said k bolo k waise he ghar anna hai tou aao warna jao. I am also not endorsing it talaaq, buri baat hai but divorce her asap. There is no point in keeping her. Aa beh gaye aggar ghar wapis, tou phir kuch aisa he karay gi ya kisi aur tarah blackmail karay gi. GET RID OF HER.

[@violet4481]

Australia walay bhai, cisco certifications are available in australia bus thora sa time nikalna parayga lekin believe me you can do it. Some people have done it in much crazier circumstances. Don't think you've lost your skills. I used to think that way and I wasted so much time being scared to go back to college to complete my degree but now finally I am back and I am acing all my classes. Ham kuch situations men comfortable hojatay hain, bhalay woh ideal situation na ho. Toh kuch alag karnay men dar lagta hai. Don't worry bhai, comfort say bahar ek step lena hai aur agay insha'Allah rasta saaf milayga. Good luck.

[@MuhammedYasir]

Related to Gulf Countries. I am the victim. My Dad gave his 38 years to Arab country. We all siblings born and raised up here. But what is the end results... My dad was terminated and after giving his 38 years of life. We returned back. And once a working person suddenly goes on home living only turns them sick. And couple of months back we lost him. although we born here but never been given a advantage of local born. My personal advise to all... Please avoid getting hire in Arab world. Specially in the Oil giant country. Cuz I am also surviving.

[@AkashVaani786]

Same story with my uncle .

[@utkarshagrawal8770]

For the Australian guy You have substantial educational background for it job but u need special skills to make an entry into the it sector again. So register for some good courses and earn skill certificates from eudemy, coursera etc. These will give u an edge to apply for jobs in a sector u are interested in and take pride in.

[@codtriotv]

Hi Junaid, Loved you videos! When clicking on your Spotify link. It says, Page not found. Kindly look into this. Thanks!

[@shivambabbar1405]

Try using a bigger table, it looks a little bit cramped up. Love the content. keep it up 👍

[@azeeminator]

For Australia waale bhai, You're just going through burnout. When u are occupied in a technical field that makes a nihari of your brain, you plateau and loose motivation. I suggest do some artwork. Try painting, coloring, meditation, reading or even dancing and singing. Reignite your brain cells with creative activities. Maybe it will help. It sure helped me a lot.

[@user-jo9xh8ft4c]

Junaid bhai love from India🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳

[@user-jo9xh8ft4c]

Mera question bhi le lo

[@alizaakhan0479]

Can i ask my question through Instagram...?

[@user-jo9xh8ft4c]

@@alizaakhan0479 sed him a mail id is in its description

[@sidrasuleman9284]

Australia walay bhai, junaid bhai gave you the right advice. Do some courses, work on your resume, keep applying in other companies. Give interviews. Look for jobs which are outsourced. You might find international jobs. I live in the U.S. and my husband does that. Even when his job is going fine, he keeps applying every now and then and keeps giving interviews. He says it helps with the experience and confidence as well. Have faith bro, InshAllah everything will be ok.

[@jabeenk4455]

Can I please contact you for more info? My situation is the same.

[@saeedanasir]

Andrew Schulz is a genius. He is unapologetically hilarious. His approach to jokes is quite different. Have you seen his videos with other comedians where they talks about how they came up with a joke? Great and insightful.

[@gulsherkhan3706]

17:25 for girl who's best friend is getting married. App apni friend ko bolo k app us ki sotan ban k raho gi. App dono b khush us ka husband b khush. Don't take it negetive and asa well as serious. Q k app ne apni friendship itni shidat se btai k mujhe lagta hai k app dono ko koi masla ni hoga sotan ban k rehney may. A follower of Moulana Tariq masood sab.🙂

[@Victor-dv4pb]

Bloke from Sydney give a crack to gulf if you are PR or citizen but jst watch how situation changes during and after expo 2021 dubai. Sketch your plan and evaluate your self. Do agree with Junaid simultaneously that gulf is not fairy tale what it used to be. I am from Sydney too God Speed.

[@iraeeschaudhry]

For PHD Girl In my opinion don't ignore marriage because in our culture it become diffcult to find rishta in your late 20's, one of my sister is facing the same issue. Whether we like it or not this is our society at the same time i'm not saying that don't pursue with your studies. Try to do things simutaneously and find a man who can understand you and support you in every scenario. You can also find someone from usa and continue with your phd. Hope you will do good in life.

[@abdulbakir965]

Thank you for the podcast, it helped and motivated me alot.❤️❤️

[@TheFoilTriangle]

Children deserve unconditional love

[@zainmahmood6337]

Very good advice to the girl who is doing PHD in USA. I totally agree with you

[@muhammadqasimsardar1527]

I was planning to study and then watch your episode being uploaded. Then watched your full episode. Thanks a lot. Really learning a lot from you. Keep up great work.

[@innerworld3551]

"you are your own child" good one

[@allaboutfifa6439]

For Australian guy, genuine advise is to learn coursers on coursera. "coursera" is a free website that has courses, skills for the best universities of the world. He can learn many IT , coding , programming, management, data courses , just to name a few. He can build his resume this way. Secondly, get the nationality of Australia, he had already been there, become a national and things will get alot easier for him. Dont come back, only during vacations to meet parents or get them there. There is nothing to be done here , unfortunately.

[@mohammedadnankamal9791]

Big fan from Newcastle UK 🇬🇧

[@ibrahim7.0x]

For Australia Walay Bhai: You can polish your skills through online cources on Udemy and many of them are available on KZbin. After getting enough knowledge about any of you interests, you can offer your servicers while living in Pakistan or any other country thorugh freelancing. There are many well known websites like Fiverr, Upwork etc. where you can offer your services and earn enough money to support your family. You can watch tutorials on youtube about how to make a good GIG on Fiverr. Hope this will help ❤️

[@amirals2773]

PHD Girl: keep what you have in hand. Do not I repeat do not let this opportunity go. There’s a chance of losing what you can have. Why take a chance and be dependent on others about your future in case of marriage.

[@SyedZaidKazmiSZK]

Last Question : Junaid Bhai Ap Parents Walay Topic Pay Ek Full Video Bana Day Q Kay Parents Ki Lari Wala Seen May nay Experence kia Hai Or Ab tak Experence Kar Raha Hoo Ma 27 dec 2020 Ko Sucide karnay Laga Dost Say Glock 17 lia Tha Or lahore may Ravi Kay Pull Pay Khara Tha Yeh sari Mera Ek Hi Close Dost Us Pata Hai Love Your QNA Love From Lahore Sir

[@gdking10]

Bro please khud ko ni khtm krna. Life is worth living. Wqt acha b aye ga

[@SyedZaidKazmiSZK]

@@gdking10 ok bro

[@SuleManYT]

ager mout ke baad b sakoon na paa ao gay to phir kider jaa aoo gay bhai suicide ker ro gay to mout ke baad jo azab hoga os ka kia aur asal zindagi mout ke baad hai duniya ki zindagi khel tamsha hai aur bohat choti si zindagi hai

[@InnocentDude1]

SMART KID: Please keep working hard without thinking about any negativity. Just ignore everything. Once you finish your study and get a nice job, then you can decide if its good to stay there or move out. Who knows where your future will take you. Just don't stop studying and may be you will get scholarship to study abroad. And when you become a father, I am sure, you will be a best father ever. :)

[@eskay5106]

Australia walay bhai. Coding is like learning to swim. you never really forget it. Start doing leetcode algorithms, starting from easy to hard. Then read and practice from the book called "Cracking the coding interview". Then network hard. You will get plenty of interviews and eventually a job. This is the best way to do this

[@FaizanAli-im7xt]

Can you please give some follow ups on the questions answered in previous episodes, as it would really help people going through similar situations...

[@shujaatsiddiqui5019]

Good idea

[@umerchattha3892]

Thank You Junaid Cheetay Best KZbin Page in Pakistan House, School,University Academic may yay sub nai sikhatay jo Aap Btatay ho Thank You for your time worth listening everytime

[@deebars7413]

For PhD student, peruse your career , public-health is the future.