Asperger’s / Autism is NOT my Superpower.

[@RickMattison314]

I can understand how autism can affect someone positively and negatively. I, myself, do have autism. I have some lucky parts, but I also have some of the not-so-lucky parts. Lucky parts: Nearly-eidetic memory? Check. High intelligence? Check. Empathy? Check. Not-so-lucky parts: Emoitional control issues? Check. Social issues? Check. Learning issues? Check. Motor skill issues? Check. Those are the ones I know that I have off the top of my head; I might have some more, but I just don't remember them at the moment. Autism is an accurate example of a double-edged sword and an extreme dice roll. I want people to know this as well, several symptoms could be a double-edged sword; not all of them, but some of them. Some organizations would go out of their way to help individuals with autism, but many are just in it for the money. Sadly, that's just reality nowadays. If you want to help someone with autism, here are some of the do's and don'ts: 1.) Don'ts: don't take them to counseling, don't lock them up in a room (that'll make them more prone to violence), don't bully them (they are dealing with enough problems already), don't isolate them (it'll only make the issues worse and bring about new issues like addiction). 2.) Do's: diagnose them quickly from medical professionals, treat them as you would any human being (THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS, TOO!), become friends with them regardless of the consequences (it'll be helping them out in more ways than you know). In short, don't alienate people with autism and treat them as a project; instead, support them in anyway you can and treat them like a human being.

[@brookelynrhodes1998]

I agree with you. Autism is anything but a superpower, it's far from it. It's a disorder that impairs every aspect of life. I hate how disabled I am and how I didn’t develop like a normal child. I was diagnosed in childhood but at age 9. It would be so nice if I could get cured out of the bad aspects of Autism. I also have learning disabilities. I also got anxiety and clinical depression. My special interests can be disabling and cause people to loose interest in me quickly because I repeat the same topics over and over. It sucks!

[@catmanfish]

The worst thing for me was that I thought I was totally normal until people started asking me if I was autistic. I got diagnosed, and then I became way to aware that I was acting off. I thought I was just a fuckin weirdo, and that was why I couldn't get along with people well.

[@margaretno211]

My daughter had autism, Asperger's. Your story and hers are so similar. I feel how painful your story was to share but I am grateful for your sharing and plea to stop the toxic positivety . As painful as it is we need to discuss the tough aspects of living with Asperger's so we can figure out how to be of more assistance as parents, teachers and community. To me Asperger's is like being alien in an unfamiliar world. Keep safe.

[@claudiusraphael9423]

Sorry, but one never has "had" it - and please , do not interpret this as "a correction by a self-acclaimed officer of autism" - either you are that, or you are not - in no case it is a "deficit" - it's a form of "hyper-awareness" (a treat treated as "defunct" in modern society, but actually helpful for/towards the beloved ones of those "tainted" by it ...)

[@chrikke]

​@@claudiusraphael9423her daughter could be dead, dude.

[@nickbuccini7535]

This video is extremely informative and i hope it somehow blows up.

[@autismisnotmysuperpower]

Truth and honesty are rarely well received. I just hope it helps/ makes some people feel a little bit better.

[@linus3055]

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I appreciate your realistic, non-censured thoughts on the matter and hope this video gets the attention it deserves!

[@furrybproductions]

Thanks for your perspective man. Kyle's video was the one that made me realize I have the condition and people's stories like yours have shown me just how much it's been a part of my life.

[@nosirrahx]

The social cues part was a massive problem for most of my life but some time in my late 30s I somehow figured it out (I am 46 now). I went from 1 friend for literally 3 decades to hundreds of friends. I got into cars and surprise surprise, there are lot of people like us that are super into cars. So much of what you talked about sounds inanely familiar to me and I learned something new. I have had digestive problems forever and they could never figure it out. I was 0 homework guy and graduated at the bottom of my class. I got into IT through self education and kind of went through the "autism is my superpower" path but had that not worked out I would probably be homeless now, I was for a bit in my 20s. I got super lucky and was able to hitch my gifts to something amazing and ended up retiring at 40. It brakes my heart knowing that there are so many people out there that only need a lucky break like I had to become insanely successful. It also brakes my heart knowing that there are also many people out there with autism that do not have that "super power" component. All of this is just so unfair and honestly I feel super guilty sometimes about becoming successful and suffer from insanely bad imposture syndrome.

[@movingthoughts65465]

Thank you for this perspective. As someone who's two brothers were both severely autistic/ developmentally-disabled the parts where you spoke about the dangers that society can bring against neurologically atypical people really struck me. I have personally witnessed my brother being tazed and drug out of his "special-ed" classroom by smalltown cops while our mother was rushing to the school to try and diffuse the situation. It's a really underrepresented issue in our society.

[@watchingthebees]

Yes, yes, yes! I’m an autistic girl only diagnosed last year when I was 18. I relate so much to this video. The part where you said that thanks to your abuse you were able to receive help... that really spoke to me. I was raised in an abusive household for any child, but especially for an autistic one, school was pure hell (I also had undiagnosed ADHD which didn’t help), I had been through several suicide attempts before I turned 18, was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at 14 (you can’t diagnose a personality disorder before the age of 18, but no one knew what else could be going on with me, they didn’t even want to try and listen to me or see under the survice). And because I couldn’t read social cues, you can imagine how much of an easier target I was for sexual abuse, I have twice in my life gotten in strange mens’ cars because they recognised my school uniform and wanted to give me a ride to school, the strangest thing is that they must have been telling the truth because nothing happened to me and I’m so unbelievably grateful for that, but after I realised what I had done, and the risk I had put myself in because I couldn’t read the situation, I became extremely paranoid of everything and everyone, because if you can’t identify the threat, literally anything could be one (I still can’t go out on my own), there were so many instances where I was with female friends and strange men would ask us to follow them for some reason or another and I would blatantly agree to it because I assumed they were telling the truth, and then my friends would tell me how stupid I was for having believed it. I was never taught what I needed to be safe as a girl with autism, everyone just assumed I knew. Being autistic in our society is almost a death sentence, we have so little support and understanding to deal with things, we’re just left to stumble by ourselves and we’re still blamed and abused for not being able to keep up with the others. If I’m not wrong, our life expectancy is 36 years old and the leading cause of death is suicide, this is not okay! Maybe one day, if we live in a society where we’re understood and supported as we should, maybe it could become a superpower in some aspects, but we’re very far from this reality.

[@monty58]

It's things like this that make me realize how lucky I've been to find friends that can understand and tell me when I'm missing things.

[@suzywhy8401]

Wow ❤️ I'm 36 and you are the first person who has ever said so much that I can relate to I went off with so many people blindly trusting strangers even after being " kidnapped " at 11 and until I was 18 and something bad happened then again at 22 and at 31. I didn't trust as much but I still fell for a huge amount of manipulation. I am completely isolated now no friends no family just me and my kids and I feel safe ❤️

[@Galahad993]

I hate having Autism.

[@Stfguac]

Thanks for making this video, it really needed to be made. I watched Kyle Hill's video and I just cringed the whole time. It's a video made to convince neurotypicals to accept us, which I guess can be seen as a good thing, but pretty damaging for us, autistic people struggling in our day to day lives. What you said about hyperfocus and the fact that you can't choose your special interest is just so true. My special interest used to be programming (my job) for quite a few years and I thrived because of it. But for the last couple of years, it shifted and I've been struggling to focus at work every single day. I struggle with anxiety and depression, I can't help but think eventually someone's gonna notice I'm not able to do my work efficiently and I'll lose the only thing I seem to be able to do for money. My NT friends keep telling me it's fine, most people don't love their job and that's ok. But with autism it's all or nothing, isn't it? It's not like I'm just reluctantly working while hating my job. I don't even hate my job, objectively speaking, it's a good job. Instead my brain constantly seeks things it's actually interested in and I keep trying to hold it back from hyperfocusing on those and it's so tiring. I've not heard many people talk about this, but surely it's a thing for others, right? PS: I'm sorry for how school treated you. It makes me so angry with humanity

[@autismisnotmysuperpower]

I tried to start a business once, you just described EXACTLY what happened to me. My hyperfocus shifted to other things and it became harder and harder to control. I got so exhausted I could no longer do my work.

[@Stfguac]

@@autismisnotmysuperpower you are officially the first person I've heard talk about this. I really hope you've managed to recover from it. Are you doing something you're interested in at the moment? I'm in a constant state of burnout, occasionally descending into meltdowns. And not following my interests leaves me not caring about anything in life for a while. I think that might be depression. Luckily that doesn't happen often, reducing my hours helped a bit. I thought of possibly starting my own business, too, something I was really into like fixing electronics. But I just don't know when my brain is gonna decide I've had enough of that, too and officially leave me with no income

[@autismisnotmysuperpower]

@@Stfguac Currently I too am burnt out (that's the reason I have not uploaded in a while.) and I usually descend into shutdown rather than meltdown. It's like a crippling depression you can't pull yourself out of and then one day, it's gone and I am back to what I call normal. I try not to do too much in a day or in a short time span. Routine helps as does breaking up big projects into smaller more manageable tasks that I can easily complete. Not being able to finish something is VERY hard for me. Sometimes I will have to go without sleep until I finish something simply because I cannot rest until I do. If you do start your own business, I can offer a little advice. Try not to deal directly with the general public. Their requests change rapidly and frequently and I would get overwhelmed easily. I got severe burnout after I did that and I still have not been able to completely recover. I have a video about burnout planned and I will talk about it some more in it.

[@Stfguac]

@@autismisnotmysuperpower yeah, I don't really know how to differentiate between shutdown and depression, but you described very well. it doesn't seem like there's anything I can do to recover from it faster, it just happens suddenly after a few days of not doing anything. Thanks for the advice. I'm genuinely too scared of my brain to start something on my own. And like you said, dealing directly with people sounds terrifying. I wish it'd be easier to switch professions or try stuff out for a month. I'm looking forward to your new video, but no pressure at all! definitely take your time, I know it's hard work.

[@aselrahc]

Thanks for the video. I'm 46 and over the last 10 years I've slowly learned that I likely have Asperger's. I've yet to seek diagnoses, but I intend to. I It's great to hear from guys like Kyle Hill and guys like you. Diverse perspectives help us all to understand each other better.

[@KilanPL]

I'm glad that I'm not only person mad and people for making autism super power or self-promotion tool for them. My life was traumatic, my autism makes me stress out and sad much of the time. I can't find new friends and maintain old relationships. And then I see in the web that I should be happy becouse I'm special and have super powers. Yeah like alone and weird super villian.

[@robertjmccabe]

You are very brave for doing this. After my diagnosis I was overjoyed because I felt like I belonged to a group for the first time in my life. I think many with autism are similar: they are desperate for social connection that they resort to groupthink - in our case talking our group up in an effort to strengthen the only social ties we’ve ever known. This is reductive and insensitive. We need to realize that not all Autistic people will magically love each other if put in a room - that is our fundamental characteristic: we are socially awkward, it doesn’t matter the composition of the social group. I’d like to hear from you again, I think your honestly would further he acceptance movement more than the overzealous “we are better than neurotypicals” group. Stay strong.

[@matlman1]

Yeah I recently found out at 22 my mother hid that I had Autism from me. The good things I have is great visual and musical skills, encyclopedic memory of cars, and strong empathetic response. Bad is I have wild social anxiety, ADHD that i also didn't get diagnosed until i was 21, a terrible gastrointestinal system, and all the emotional trauma I had from hating myself for not being able to be "normal". It is relieving at least to have something to attribute to all my struggles, but it also is so frustrating realizing how poorly the world is structured for neurodivergents. I'm lucky in that I can mostly pick up on social cues, but not as much with partners, which has made for a pretty terrible dating experience. My current girlfriend says she understands, but still expects so much from me, and expects me to pick up on all her subtle hints and such, when my brain just literally does not work that way. And it's so stressful.

[@Zack-nl7vs]

Thanks for your story and perspective. My (very fortunate) personal experience has been more akin to team superpowers'. That did not make the comorbidities any easier to deal with however. A lot of pain and heartache might have been avoided with early childhood intervention. I cannot express enough how much I appreciate your honesty and forthrightness. Your video was eye opening and thought provoking. I wish you all the best. Take care and be well, Zack

[@tristancreed]

Mine kinda made my childhood suck for the most part. It still came with a few advantages. Like an acute memory, hyperfocus and etc. It also has a few downsides. As an adult, I now often get the "you don't look or seem autistic" comments. The anxiety definitely sucks. So did the misses on social interaction. But I'd have to agree with a friend of mine. My autism ended up as more of a character quirk than an actual disability.

[@gintonic9880]

Just wanted to say thank you for this video. It is good to see a different and honestly more realistic perspective on the topic.

[@SRT987]

Thank you for uploading this video. Even if this only reaches a few people. Please know this affected someone. Ive had similar experiences to you and ive hoping this goes viral.

[@ajkooper]

Hi Spencer Just wanted to let you know that in my opinion this video needs to be included in the autism momentum that i feel is going on. On one hand i'm happy ASD is gaining a lot of momentum because it gives me a better chance of understanding it. On the other is the danger that you very accurately described that this subject is getting glorified. Kyle's video was my lightbulb moment (i'm 37) and since then i've watched what feels like a ton of videos on the subject. I think most ASD youtubers are in a place that allows them to make videos somewhat comfortably (i mean that respectful), so they are more likely to be kinda uplifting oriented if that's the right word for it. Which is why i want to say i'm glad you took your phone to record your story. Because this side should not be overshadowed if we want the world to know what autism is. So i stand with your plea. Hope things will get better for you.

[@MultiSuperPotato]

Thank you so much for this. Kyle's video for me had this bittersweet taste of privilege and I knew that not everyone could have his experience so I'm really grateful to have found your channel. I'm not autistic but I'm neurodivergent and it really causes problems for me that depress me to a great extent and I know virtually noone understands me. By default it's just hard to deviate from the norm, in whatever capacity that may be, and neurodivergent people have to fight to survive in a neurotypical world. I often wish I just were "normal" but to no avail - obviously I'll never magically transform into a neurotypical person. At least I can find solace in the fact that I'm not the only one fighting. Thank you so much for publically sharing this, it makes me feel less lonely and I'm grateful for that.

[@jdata]

Thank you for sharing. My son is on the spectrum and its great to be able to read/watch genuine content on the subject. Much love and respect.

[@coletterobertson2035]

Love this. I've been having very similar thoughts. I'm only recently diagnosed and I'm already fed up with the "superpower" discourse

[@crazypickles8235]

Thank you for sharing this. I suffer from several mental and emotional disorders which as yet remain undiagnosed and the anxiety and depression are so real. It takes a measure of bravery to put this sort of content on KZbin for the world to understand. The human mind is a complex and varied mechanism and we have yet to begin to understand many of the most basic fundamentals. While in attendance of public school, I always loathed to see the ostracization of children who may have been different or had diagnoses which procluded their opportunities for enjoyable learning or growth. I have a great deal of respect for the content you have made and appreciate your expression here. It helps me to think that some day I might feel comfortable talking about some of this.

[@remygallardo7364]

I appreciate finding this video and thank you for making it because I, too, loathe the superpower argument. I also missed my diagnosis until 27, 31 now. It took two years for me to even understand what it meant and start to make changes in my life. I never excelled because of some "feel-good" buzzword like a superpower. I excelled because I learned what was required to minimize the attention focused on me and tailored my behavior around the expectations so I could get through public education with the smallest waves possible. At home I learned from textbooks and the internet. None of my special interests have brought me any measure of recognition and I don't expect them to. I think weaponizing an interest into providing you profit is the fastest way to drive yourself to depression and traumatize a part of your own psyche. No, to me, the real ideal of the autism world is to be surrounded in the things you love to learn about with minimal interruption. What really bothers me however is I was extroverted before middle and high school. I don't know if I'll ever get that part of myself back again. And that isn't entirely my fault, though my disability certainly contributes. A society which celebrates neurotypical-presenting autistic representation is a society which refuses to put themselves in the shoes of others the second those shoes are a different size.

[@autismisnotmysuperpower]

Thank you so much for this comment, I identify with it so much. Especially the part of trying to make your interests into a paycheck. I also feel a part of myself is gone and I don't know if I will ever get it back again. I use to be better with people than I am now.

[@aaronyager3053]

Thanks for making this video and shedding light on this topic

[@NFSMAN50]

great video sir, i was diagonsed with autism at age 7-8 i believe, i always felt different than alot of people around me, and didn't act my age at times, i was very behind my peers and I was child like at times. I was a defiant kid at times, would draw maps, buildings, cars in my notebooks in class, didn't pay attention, didn't care etc. I was in the special needs classes in school, and the classes I was placed in were just like yours, so similar. I was placed with the troubled kids, the kids who would curse at the teacher, throw desks, fight, future drug dealers, gang members, prisioners etc, and then there were the normal few like me. I was lucky too in a way, the teacher told my mother that, in his class, i was the one who would make it far, and he was the first teacher that saw hope in me. The GI problems were true, i would vomit frequently as a kid, certain smells, seeing others eat, be nasty, would trigger it. My parents use to get so mad, it was kind of funny though, and i laugh at those times, but it makes sense. College was surprisingly a great time for me, and people were more accepting of me, got to know who i was despite my past, people respected me, and i had lots of friends, and my classes though, i had a rough start at first, but i was able to get the help I need to survive and thrive. My specializations were Geography, transportation, architecture, arts, social topics, mental health, design, cartoons, superheroes, computers and other technology. I was able to work off from those topics.

[@docjerriko9751]

Thank you so much for this video. I just recently learned that I have Asperger's and I struggle with many of the symptoms that you have mentioned. In my case I have major problems with anxiety, panic attacks, numbers, socializing (I only really talk to my father and fiance), GI issues, and organization. Thankfully, my encyclopedic knowledge extends to a variety of different topics but mostly resides within the realm of medicine. I remember having a lot of difficulty in school where I was considered to be a danger in highschool for a short time when I had a very bad mental break. Thank you so much again for your video, people need to know about the negatives of the condition.

[@docjerriko9751]

Just another note, I never realized that dyscalculia, and self harm were included within the symptoms. I honestly thought those were just two additional issues I was dealing with rather than part of the overall condition. Thank you, this video has helped me to better understand myself and our condition as a whole.

[@autismisnotmysuperpower]

Those are very common in people with spectrum disorders but not necessarily explicitly linked. I just figured I would say that before someone else dropped in to say it. Thanks for your wonderful comments! 😀

[@RnVjayBZb3V0dWJl]

Totally understand you buddie. I have Asphergers myself and saw myself in you quite a lot. I hope you're doing well now-days. I hated my school years. it was the worst days of my life. I wasn't diagnosed until i was 18 ish and therefore have gone through school without understanding why i was so.. strange or "out of the norm". I managed to go through school years and eventually started my work in cyber security. As you mentioned.. i was lucky being able to remember the thing i was interested in, which was IT security :P I have an awesome mother who was a psychiatrist a few years before i was born and understood i had something on the spectrum and could tailor my upbringing in such a way so i could understand and learn other peoples social queues. It helped quite a lot i believe and not everyone is as fortunate as i have been. I've been through both the positive things as people understanding my disorder, but also met people, even within the family, that didn't understand that i was on the spectrum and yelled or got angry at me for something i just didn't understand. Anyhow, now days, i have partially learned how to live with my "disorder" and how to minimise problems. Like the eye-contact thing. Look at them every once in a while. Or tell coworkers that if i say something that is rude, please ask me what i meant instead of taking it to heart cause i most likely did not mean to hurt their feelings and thought of it differently. It just came out the wrong way! I struggle to keep contact with people. But those who keep contact with me, i strongly show an effort and gratitude to show that "THANK YOU" for keeping contact and in general not be boring and just roll on with the conversation. And so on.. you get my point.. The stuttering i have never helped me in school either. But hey, now I've learned to live with it, same as you learned to live with your down and upsides. We do our best :P And you're awesome for sharing your point of view. thank you! Much appreciated!

[@deinonychus1948]

As someone who was diagnosed very early (before I entered Primary School), I can say with 100% certain that my "Hyper-Focus" is a bit of a double-edged sword; On one hand; it allows me to notice a lot more things that are going on around me, and it allows me to notice even small details about something, for example, as a gamer, I notice the little things that certain enemies do, a large deep breath before a big fire attack, a slightly different roar before a really strong attack, etc but on the other hand; that same "Hyper-Focus" can be quite a pain in the ass! for one, most schools don't give people like me enough chances to get the hang of something, in my current workplace which is actually one for people with Disabilities, I have seen that even with machines that I haven't used before; after a few attempts and after getting my technique down, most of the time I end up doing said task faster and more efficiently than 99% of the other workers who have worked there way longer than me (just goes to show that the saying "I've done this way longer than you" quote is not really valid) and that same "Hyper-Focus" makes it hard to notice other things, when I'm lost in thought I often fail to hear what people are trying to tell me about in the background I will say though, people who say that Autism is a kind of superpower are a bit more accurate when you consider that a lot of superpowers in pop culture have many side effects that can enhance or ruin your everyday life, for example, Cyclops; who needs red glasses to protect those around him from his laser sight, Charles Xavier; who could kill people just be concentrating too hard on them, and Nightcrawler; who without the necessary Sci-Fi tech to protect him would either end up in a wall, or trapped underground or end up in space the point is; all superpowers are double-edged swords and Autism is no different Great Video though, just thought I'd mention my experience with Autism, although I admit that my schooling experience seems a lot more merciful than what you and many others had to deal with, at my school there was actually a building dedicated to those with disabilities

[@kxjx]

I agree it really depends on a lot of factors. The outcome can range from no schooling at all to getting all the top grades. This is true for non-autistic people too incidentally.

[@ilBaccello]

Thanks for sharing. I find it surprising that schools manage to put so much pressure on children rather than teaching how to deal with pressure in a healthy way.

[@mikeman7918]

Great video, I’m glad you shared your experiences and I hope more people like us do the same. Though I think we disagree on one point, and much like your criticism of Kyle’s video this criticism is mainly about how your video is titled more so than its content. I don’t believe that *“autism is my superpower”* and *“autistic people have a tough time getting through life in modern society”* are contradictory statements. The problems you shared are ultimately problems with society for treating you poorly, not problems with you. Problems that are well worth talking about largely because they can be solved, and it is entirely possible to build a world where future generations of autistic people grow up being accommodated and understood. It’s pretty comparable to LGBT pride, really. It’s true that being LGBT in today’s society can be hard and bring on a lot of hate, but that only makes it all the more important for LGBT people to have pride in who we are and to know that we aren’t broken. None of that is to say that being LGBT is always glamorous or exclusively beneficial, just that the problem is with society and not us. The *“autism is my superpower”* crowd from my experience is much the same. It’s not a denial of the hardships that come from having autism in our current society, it’s more of a reassurance that the broken thing here is society and not us. That gives a lot of people a lot of much needed hope and reassurance. It gives us something to fight against which isn’t ourselves. I do think there’s a lot of value in that.

[@autismisnotmysuperpower]

I understand what you are saying. However, I have had WAY more encounters with people who should be more accommodating tell me that my problem is not being positive enough. The problem with Team Superpower is they make many neurotypicals think that what we really need is to be taught how to think of our condition not as a condition but a superpower. They don't even try to accommodate you in any way. It feeds into a growing culture of toxic positivity. I just think we would be better off with a little more honesty and a little less sugar coating.

[@mikeman7918]

@@autismisnotmysuperpower That does make sense.

[@quantumfineartsandfossils2152]

Make more videos. I needed this validation so badly thank you

[@chinatosinthiti3076]

Hello from Thailand, I realized I'm autistic at 34 and now I'm 36, got to this video by suggested by watching Kyle Hill's stuff and autistic youtube channels. I thank you for encouraging people to look at autism in a more nuanced way and I personally also don't view it as a superpower as each strength is a struggle in another context and vice versa. It's so baffling to realize how much effort I put in to hiding my traits to survive, finally getting answers on why I was so extreme in a lot of ways that it hurt others with a caveman survival effort. Coming to peace with my spikey skill set and inconsistency in performance, I'm comparing myself as a car having a big engine but with tyres that are not suitable for the road. I've been reading encyclopedias and college textbooks for fun at age 10 while also being seen as the kid who's in his own world, despite being a B+ student overall I had a hard time with executive function, and retaining attention in classes I felt pointless, and of course bully incidents. Hyperfocus in adult life is like Russian roulette, it's either getting work done with speed & quality while risking interruption and lose everything, or remain flexible for interruptions but significantly reduced focus on tasks. Cheers

[@bellendaine4984]

thank you. I can appreciate how difficult this must have been. Personally, I have stopped self-identifying as Aspie in favor of Autistic given how glamorized Asperger's has become, masking the debilitating reality of the condition.

[@tangerinefizz11]

Not everyone has the same abilities, supports or opportunities, and everyone should remember this.This applies to both autistic and allistic people.

[@deinonychus1948]

"and when you tried to reorganise it (your locker)... PANIC ATTACK!" so true, to this day I will not allow anyone to tell me where my stuff goes, aside from putting my bag and shoes away when I leave them on the floor so I don't have to get them out of the cupboard

[@crowegames7555]

I was diagnosed with asd at 9 and it was hidden from me until i gained access to my medical records at 18. For my entire life i struggled not knowing why i had such a hard time at school or why i seemed to fail in social settings. I saw Kyle's video and had a lot of thoughts that I couldn't seem to express. Your video really gets to the point of what I was feeling! i wish NT people would listen to autistic voices even when they aren't saying something positive

[@KeyMan137]

I'm a fan of Kyle Hill. I watched his video. Then I saw this one. Many good points here and I appreciate this perspective and the sharing of personal experiences. I'm 32, cishet white man (also named Spencer (interesting coincidence?)). I think I'm autistic or have Asberger's but I've never been diagnosed, probably since my mental states have never caused significant or recurring impediments in my life + I was born with lots of privilege (good physical health, caring middle-class family, other neuro&physio-typical characteristics). I feel like Kyle's autism=superpower is clickbaity, but in a good way since many more people would engage with it than if it was less catchy. Thus, indirectly, more money, resources, and support will get to autistic people. His video is great because he mainly describes his own personal experiences, doesn't overgeneralize, encourages self-educating, and promotes AANE.

[@rasmusn.e.m1064]

I'm glad someone benefitted from zoom calls. I have been absolutely scared to death about them. Also, thanks for getting me to be aware of the not being able to remember stuff out of context thing. That has already explained a lot to me that I have never been able to explain to my teachers. Oh, and of course: Thanks for sticking up for us non-token autists.

[@tl1326]

Thank god im not american, Schools i went to actually supported us and my parents cared and watched my every move, my mom fought for my safety and I cannot be happier. Every time I learn of the world, I learn that my parents bled so much more for me.

[@NotAyFox]

Excellent video. More people need to hear this. You are completely correct that there is a subset of autistic people who are very privileged and lucky to be able to call autism their superpower. And by the sound of it, you were dealt a very bad hand from the start. I'm a bit older and I live in different part of the world, so I was fortunate to be able to avoid bullying by peers, but going to college, my anxieties and panic attacks ramped up and started to cause chronic burnouts. Then came depression, chronic depression, anhedonia, plus all the other issues that come with being autistic in a neurotypical environment, like sensory issues etc. I got my official assessment only last year, at the "tender" age of 44, after 20+ years of extensive psychotherapy and I still consider myself lucky and privileged, as there are so many that can't even get to that basic recognition, not to mention those of us who left this world too soon. 6 years ago I didn't think I'd live to se my 40th birthday, but yet another stroke of luck saved me, so I'm still here. Sorry for the long comment.

[@ahsley]

Ty for making this video helps me understand what others go through ❤️ I’ve always heard the “gift” side of it

[@musicbyjackstar2]

I was diagnosed when I was around 8, I had an awful experience in school and I was very alone, not in terms of not having friends because I had some fake friends at the time, but in the sense that no one understood me at all. I used to have severe meltdowns every day, the teachers bullied and humiliated me, so did all the other students (yes even my "friends") (I'm starting to realize they only said they were friends with me so they could get laughs out of me). I got moved to part time education, where they used to just shove me in the cleaning cupboard, and lock me in this weird room that was supposed to be for people with disabilities or something. They used to do this thing where if I was angry and distressed they would get about 3 teachers to surround and physically restrain me, which was somehow supposed to clam me down (spoiler alert: it made it WAY worse), 10 years old at the time. I just want to say that I understand the pain that comes with living with autism, and that not everyone experiences sunshine and rainbows in relation to the condition. Thank you for making this video so much!

[@musicbyjackstar2]

I was writing all that while watching the video and now that I've seen more of it I totally get, understand and agree with everything you are saying. You are amazing!

[@autismisnotmysuperpower]

Thanks for leaving a comment it means a lot to me!

[@musicbyjackstar2]

@@autismisnotmysuperpower No problem! Thanks for making the video

[@FloraKatharina]

Thanks for your video! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[@GoinManta]

Kyle has an advantage over others like us.. He is attractive. You're spot on though. Everyone of us has a different experience, and those without privilege.. be it white privledge or those that are attractive. The experience is different for everyone.. Guess what my one thing is.. Anyway, great video !! You did a great job of explaining something that is hard to explain to those not on the ASD spectrum. But you were spot on.

[@grahamstrouse1165]

Kyle also has a particular set of talents that make him very employable despite his disability.

[@myworldautistic670]

I can't tell you how many times I get accused of being defiant because I am Autistic. I am not defiant by nature at all. It's just crazy how we get treated

[@hedgehuug1603]

This was incredibly informative. I really liked the glamorous way team superpower presented themselves. I really wish I had heard more about this side of living on the spectrum, it is awful. Kudos to you for untangling this much trauma, THAT is superhuman, and something no-one should have to go through.

[@Achachucha]

Thanks for sharing mate.

[@MASAo7]

Spencer, this is a brilliant video. I just wanted to say thank you for posting this. It helps to be reminded that we're not alone with our condition. Jeez though, school sounds like it was a living hell for you. I'm not from America and over here we'd consider putting a child in a isolation room (for almost any reason) to be actual abuse!

[@claudiusraphael9423]

This is a comment i write BEFORE having watched your video (the title alone triggers me) so be prepared when reading this: I have had and still have hardships in my life because of Asperger and the way i was treated whole of my life - but i also have reason to "believe" (i chose those words wisely) that Asperger is a super-power IF you can stand the "stress". In my case it is combined with Morbus Bechterew (Spondylitis Ankylosans), due to the "satanic" behavior of my birth-mother (and no - i am in no way religious - it's an "idiom" in this specific case). Short version: I think "we" (Aspergers) "enrich" people - (i guess due to my "disease/disorder") i am more inclined to see what people actually do, than what they "mean" to do and by "clarifying" that they "actually don't" (in behaving the way they do) is "actually helping" - them and us. I guess, it takes a "street life" to recognize that - and, yes it is hard - but none the less i am happy and proud to have chosen to get "the full experience" because it "makes me stronger". I am able to explain my youngest daughter the hardships "along the way". Able to "reflect". And i am "able" to stop using QUOTES in "normal conversations" to point out that there is a "special relationship" going on ... YKNOW ... P.s.: I "WILL" watch your video at some time and "maybe" i will revert my comment by writing one that is the exact oppposite - life is a game - so be thrilled to wait for it. Thumbs up for making it a "topic". For those that don't get it - it's real, coz we are real - accept it. Sarcasm and irony are art forms and we use them wisely (at least "we" think so ..). And yes - Eclipsis (DOT DOT DOT) are a common treat) - have it, feast on it. I hiope you have a great day. Thanks for sharing!

[@claudiusraphael9423]

P.p.s: Subscribed as well - only to get noified "in context" ...

[@gonnfishy2987]

I am so happy that you made this video. As for myself? Where are these superpowers? With so much of your life abd behaviour pathologised, is there any room for something to be truly amazing? My superpower is that i manage 1-5 showers per year and no one could tell. I haven’t washed my hair in years. Oh, and i get by. I live in a part of town which caters to differently abled, outcasts and the lgbtqiap+ community. I communique regularly with prof attwood’s staff, he is in my country. Australia lead the world in autism research in the 1990s and we COINED the terms NEURODIVERSE/neurotypical 🦄

[@suzywhy8401]

Thankyou. My experience at school was awful. in my suns old school they had a padded room I wasn't ok with this so I changed school's thanks to the new school and my psychotherapist I now know at 36 that myself and my kids are all on the spectrum but I still don't have a clue what I'm doing

[@bpsutherland]

Thanks for sharing. I found this very helpful.

[@wordfullyyours]

Thank you for saying this.

[@atopato5689]

Nice video! Really helped me to understand the nuances in the subject.

[@Rattus-Norvegicus]

Thanks for the video, I've recently been researching ASD and am considering getting tested. I'm really just not sure what good it would do because it's too late for me. You can predict (extrapolate) the future with enough information, this doesn't end well for me.

[@shadowgirl8125]

I'm forty years old. And alot of what you have described sounds alot like me even in school suspension the 4x4 room. Put me in ld classes. Said I was a slow learner but I'm not. I was like you I couldn't recall any of the information unless I was actively in class. I don't remember most of anything for before I was 20. Bits and pieces. Mostly if it's traumatic. But even some of that I don't remember. What's add Is. I can someone do anything even in passing I'll remember how to do it. Without having to look it up. And I can do it by my self. Whether it is aligning my axle on my truck that I seen someone fix from afar. Or fix a refrigerator washer dryer stoves TV phone computer PlayStation sinks bathtubs. Fixing stuff is what I can do. Very well. Even if I've never seen anyone do it. I sit and imagine in my head how something functions and then I take apart and fix it or repair it. Have panic attacks going into Walmart a stranger like talking to people in general it's hard for me much I've spoken to you before but then even then I don't know what is okay to tell someone and what is it. usually I just don't say anything

[@kanepreton9588]

That was actually a solid video

[@garmmermibe5397]

Hello, friend. I myself have never been diagnosed with autism. Though, I have taken some autism tests online (I have no idea how accurate those may be though.) And I've found I usually score very low on those except for eye contact. But, I very much relate to you on your school environment description. In my math classes, they'd always tell me to show my work. Besides the fact I usually couldn't understand the numbers. I often times wrote down bullshit when "showing my work" because the teacher wouldn't accept it if I didn't. And I often times find the teacher would leave a note on the homework like "how the hell did you get this answer from this work?" It usually didnt matter if it was right or wrong because I usually didnt really understand how I got to the answer myself, regardless of whether it was correct or not. I also often times completely ignored my math homework because they'd give us 200 problems to do for homework and it usually took me 30-45 minutes to work through just one of them. And it usually ended up being wrong anyways. And it caused me to get into fights with my parents since they usually had to eat up hours of their own time trying to help me work through it. So, it was frustrating for everyone. And, it eventually just got to the point the stress wasn't worth it. So, I just quit doing my homework entirely and spent most of my time perpetually failing math class until the school would force me into rooms with "special ed" teachers, who would basically coach me on every problem. Of course. it eventually got to where I basically knew I could get the teachers to do my own homework for me, so that gave me even less incentive to do it myself. I also strongly relate to how you said you didnt really learn anything in school. I've told my own parents the same thing many times. Everything I've learned is something I've had an interest in and learned on my own time outside of school. And so, often times in school, I was either years ahead of a class and passed it with flying colors with practically no effort, or I was years behind the class and had basically no chance of actually picking anything up or learning anything in it. And, obviously the eye contact too. I find it unbearably awkward to just stare into someone's eyes. Or sometimes it even feels beyond awkward and almost like I have a constant urge to just view my surroundings and take everything in. So, I just cant take just looking someone in the eyes and I often times find myself, in the best cases, cycling through glancing at their chin, lips, nose, and forehead. And, in the worst cases, looking at various things on a person's desk or, if in a blank and plain area, I might tap my fingers on a wall or tap them on my leg from inside my pocket. Hell, there's even been times where I will rhythmically tap them on my lips if I'm around people I'm comfortable with. It's the weirdest thing ever and I dont know why I do it, but anything to help give me an excuse to look away from someone's eyes. Once again, I don't actually know if I do or dont have it, but I very much relate to you on some of these things. Your video had been very eye opening for me, because, based off how the "superpower" people portray it, I would never have even considered that I may or may not have autism. Even after watching Kyle's video before yours, I found myself relating to certain aspects (eye contact) but still didnt really consider it as something I might have had. But, your video is much more in depth, thought provoking, explanatory, and above all, relatable. And so, now, I may try to look into this more to help me understand myself. Thank you so much for making this. It's been eye-opening for me. I feel like, even if I don't know if I have autism or not, this video has helped me understand you as well as myself.

[@blassta2689]

Sadly, I don't have anything to contribute to this conversation though I still feel the need to comment. Since it helps with the algorithm, and this video deserves to be seen by many more, I'll just leave this here.

[@mrmarten9385]

For me the worst part about autism is that you're allowed to be autistic. Thank you for making this video, hope it will help people understand what it means to have to function as an autistic person in society.

[@tomchamberlain4329]

Big up man. I'm a little older than you (40 earlier this year) and I was diagnosed at 37. I'm straight but was relentlessly bullied and assaulted at school with a lot of homophobic behaviour involved.....because this was a school in England in the 90s and violence and blanket bullying, homophobia, dominance assertion, general dickhead stuff.....all that was basically standard and if you didn't fit, well you would get the shit kicked out of you. I was out of sync with everyone else, and I wasn't a violent bully, so obviously I must be gay! Of course. I had no idea I was autistic back than. It took a whole load of light bulb moments in adulthood inspired by events and people around me to eventually make me aware of the possibility. Like you, school was an absolute joke.....I learned almost nothing academically, I learned a bit about how to disappear and hide, and how to fight when I had no other option. I think I've realised later in life that I have a very visual and spatial brain, very sensitive to music and patterns, colours, shapes etc. No surprise that I play music and spend a lot of time drawing. I also used to play football a lot which is not generally associated with autistic people. Basically if you grow up in England in a blue collar town in the 90s, you play football. So in some ways I think the fact that I embraced and loved things like that was a part of my masking. Otherwise the bullying could and would have been far worse. Like I said I think my brain and learning is very visual/spatial based and this actually helps me be pretty good at a lot of sports and physical activities like driving/cycling etc. I don't often hear autistic people talk about these things, it's a general perception that we're all hopeless at anything involving spatial awareness and physical co-ordination. So that's another aspect of autism that's generally misrepresented. That whole superpower thing.......it's never sat comfortably with me to be honest. I'm glad you've made a video about it. Someone had to. I think you've summed up a lot better than I could have done. I was treated like a burden at school, never received much help despite obviously struggling. I think I had dangerously self destructive urges but had just enough self control that I never showed it. Maybe that's down to a deep instinct for masking I learned as a toddler. The fear of showing that weakness was strong enough that it prevented self harm. So, good. But it also prevented me from accessing any help. Not that there would have been any back then anyway! Nope, not a superpower. It's a fucking struggle. Treading water all the time.

[@kaufmanat1]

This needs more views

[@deinonychus1948]

The inability to read social queues (hope I spelt that right) is problematic for me especially when I'm around other people with disabilities (which due to being in a workplace for those with disabilities is basically all the time) and when I know that a certain person seems more aggressive or rude, even if it's only when talking to friends, I will avoid talking to them to avoid potentially getting in trouble even if such a occurence has a 0% percent chance of occurring... I also overthink things which very likely does not help that inability to read social queues

[@coletterobertson2035]

Also, just wondering if you've been assessed for ADHD? I've also just been diagnosed with inattentive presentation and your executive functioning difficulties sound similar

[@autismisnotmysuperpower]

I have been assessed for ADD and ADHD. I was misdiagnosed as ADD inattentive when I was a teenager. However, since my symptoms only present some of the time, usually when I am overwhelmed or sensory overloaded it was decided later it was just ASD not anything else beyond that.

[@thecreativemastermin]

When I watched Kyle's video, I had been recently diagnosed. Now I can't remember what I saw. It seemed so shallow.

[@nickbuccini7535]

im currently in the process of discovering myself and seeing if i could be on spectrum. can the encyclopedic brain be more generalized? I don't feel like I'm "specialized" in one area but just a sponge of all knowledge. If i see a new term or concept, i MUST research it until i have enough knowledge about it for a basic understanding. If the concept is interesting, it gets more attention obviously.

[@nickbuccini7535]

The remembering out of context also meshes with this one hard. I feel like i know so much about political things online, but as soon as i try to speak about them in the real world i turn into a blubbering idiot.

[@monty58]

@@nickbuccini7535 I tend to be the same, and the way I've come to understand it is that I've got a lot of knowledge on subjects, the problem is translating that knowledge from random brain connections into the English language. I've found it useful to keep it in my mind that the brain usually doesn't memorize things as words, but as a bunch of interconnected feeling and interactions, and with a scattered mind it can be a bit hard to sort through it all and make it English to be communicated. You ever get that thing where you think of what exactly what you should have said almost immediately after the conversation ends?

[@Iyengaryogawithshaun]

Thank you ❤️

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

So our memories have to be triggered.....i never knew it had a name until now... Music helps relieve the anxiety of cleaning, but I'm still not good at it. Context dependent memory they call it...never knew it had a name until now. and im 59

[@pikachu-dn9nx]

This was amazing

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

Some people are just rich and overpriveledged and get life handed to them. the majority are underprivileged and abused. I could read and write when i was 4. could never do math...except outside my body.so only once in my life.

[@BrytonBand]

Hey Spencer, I totally hear you out on this one. I despise those who try to normalize it like that. I’m all for a better understanding and eliminating the false stigma of it being an intellectual issue instead of the reality of it being a social one. To take the sugarcoating off of it, what autism is is basically social retardation. But it’s OK, we’re all little retarded. However when we start pushing things like “neurodivergent” or whatever it is we start to normalize poor social skills which prevents growth, when we should be helping others improve them instead of being stuck in their same behavioral pattern. Like I said, it’s basically retardation, but you shouldn’t be offended when I say that because the word “retarded” is Latin for “to delay.” So with that said, with us thankfully having mostly strong amounts of intelligence and being quick learners, if we come in contact with the right people and learn through the right process, it can really speed up the process. When I left my dads house, I learned way more skills than I did in the last 19 or so years at that point and this was because of my parents being strict about what I did and whenever I tried to work a situation out, they accused me of arguing, would yell, and redirect the blame on me or my autism. With my dad even spanking me when I was about 7 or 8. So you could imagine my mental perception was rather corrupted. Of course, we are all different. I’m fucked up, but we are all a little bit fucked up. But that’s why we should take this process so we can try to work things out with others. I hear you on your experiences and the frustration of those who diagnose the issue but never actually focus on the root of the problem. There have been many times where I slipped out the wrong word or I missed a golden opportunity because I couldn’t hit my cues and it would lead me to the point of hating and beating myself up. Like, I’m really proud of my gift of intelligence, but nobody should be ever take pride in something that also limits at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I’m aware as of right now that I am most likely will have to deal with having ASD for the rest of my life (unless there’s a pill I can take, which I would in a heartbeat.) However, I am on neither side that pushes to dehumanize or normalize those with the disorder. I take a more balanced approach based on consciousness to decipher the whole thing through critical thinking and not with suppression or fear, and you seem to be so too. We are complex creatures after all. Thank you for your video, don't be afraid to speak sanity even if we live in a very unbalanced world. The truth will always shine, deceit never will.

[@boeboe5115]

Music and logic are my "super powers". I also loved science and math. I'm thankful and grateful for this, but also recognize that I am completely privileged in that regard. On the other side, history and english and other subjects were just terrible for me. I struggled to make C's because I could not retain ANY information that I read, meanwhile math was a breeze cause I could just solve it. Social anxiety was never something I could overcome, I had difficulty holding hands with the poor soul that decided to say yes to being my date at the end of my senior year At my job, I developed, essentially algorithmic, trained responses for communication with customers that doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. It took me 2 weeks to overcome anxiety when saying "take care" instead of just "have a good one/day", and it frustrated me so badly. Every positive unscripted social interaction feels like a win when I can manage it, but it feel pitiful, because it's such an emotional process, just socializing, that I never can just have a neutral conversation with someone that I don't later reflect on. The times I dont keep track of how I interact, I can be distant, passive aggressive and down right flagrant without much provoking. I'm not officially diagnosed with ASD because I don't even know where to start with that. I've been told before, multiple times too probably, but I couldn't tell you what they said, and things like that make me feel like a dishonest person. After all that though, I don't feel like an outcast though. I have some close friends that I love like family, I have learned a lot about how to mitigate some of these things on my own, and I have come out of my shell a lot more by forcing myself into positions that take me beyond my comfort zone, granted now Im in a healthy living condition, which for sure is a major factor in this as well. I've had more girlfriends, and now have one that I've been with for a little over a year now. It's doable with a lot of persistence, my friends.

[@JohnnyYeTaecanUktena]

I will say this if one is not careful one will find themselves becoming a Misanthrope or Demon and no i don't mean the supernatural bs. What i mean by Demon is a very violent or evil person as they have just had enough are are past the breaking point, as you know English just has to be messed up with bunch of different meanings for just one word depending on the damn context it is used in. I feel that it should be expressed on how easy it is to get someone on the spectrum to actually hate humanity be it by accident from their own selves during a meltdown or from a outside influence like how they were treated growing up. Or even reading about Humanity's bloody history and seeing the trends these days as we are repeating every mistake without learning from the past as people can't think for themselves they let their tribal animalistic instincts take over. It honestly disgusts me to see how Humans are still tribalistic and won't have a open mind for the bigger picture, and no that last bit was not about politics however politics should not exist as they are blood sucking parasites that does not benefit Humanity at all instead in harms it just like a actual parasite since it feeds off of Humanities tribal nature and would rather keep it weak so they would come and beg the politicians for help which does not work.

[@dancingdoormanable]

Don't think the Daemon strategy could have some utility? It makes people take note and thus makes up for the weakness of autism. Also, like mimic creatures you don't actually have to be poisonous to avoid being eaten. By the way, note the spelling of Daemon. It's the Greco/Roman word for nature spirit, maybe better translated as Force of Nature. Other notable words for spirits Genius and Angel. Genius actually meaning the spirit doing good for people or society, having little to do with smarts. The other one, Angel is directly translated as messenger. You could even translate Angel as politician as that involves spreading a ideology or religion. As being autistic makes being normal very hard, why not be a Deamon, Genius or Angel?

[@bluegoose03]

Very Well Said

[@andros_edits]

this video rules

[@sweetpea4967]

Well said.

[@gangstagarf]

gr8 vido

[@Chris-fu6jm]

this is beautiful and for some reason i was laughing out loud (at a youtube video)

[@blastard8980]

I thought I was autistic, but I just found out that I don't give a crap about stuff most others care about and I can isolate myself because I'm a misanthrope. I did a test and it said that I'm well into the spectrum, but there's no way I'm spending time nor money to use in a living real shrink to tell me now, at 32, that I'm labeled in a certain way. It doesn't change my mind of things, it doesn't give any right to brag, and if anything it makes me pity about myself, which is a pointless exercise

[@dinolover]

Fucking this

[@monty58]

A diagnosis is great if you haven't figured out how you think and found whatever tricks and little things make you work better. If you've figured that out, it doesn't matter in the slightest what kind of label some psychologist would give you.

[@WarriorsRespiteTherapy]

Im a therapist on the spectrum. There are skills you can learn. Go to a therapist, a good one.

[@estebanfreytes]

great video

[@nyx019]

👍

[@anjachan]

I think it could have to do with the fact that some autistic people don´t want to see themselves as disabled. So they don´t talk much about the negative sides about autism. But it is and that´s perfectly okay. No one on this earth is perfect. There is not really a superpower. Even if you are super good in a topic. punshing someone in the face because he´s gay is so sad ... Im sorry If you experienced something like this. I don´t understand why it´s so bad for some people.

[@treble8921]

🙏🙏

[@Matt-bp5vy]

Some people are born with addiction tendencies, some are born in the poorest parts of Africa some with disabilities bigger or smaller. There was no better times in history of mankind to be born with disability in the western world. Anyway hating on toxic positivity probably not gonna help.

[@tangerinefizz11]

"Isolation" is abusive, period.

[@withonforafteratbyin]

ilu

[@jonathan-._.-]

somewhat distracting fan you got there just above the video ^^

[@foushbag7838]

As someone diagnosed with autism you have a very negative perspective on everything you listed. Even if your special interest is my little pony YES YOU CAN MONETIZE THAT. even social cues I taught myself how to be funny. Would literally watch and study comedians and learn their styles memorize their jokes etc. Even study basic communication and human psychology and you can learn. neurotypical human beings are very predictable.. Chang your mindset and do better there is hope.

[@autismisnotmysuperpower]

I’m not negative. I’m experienced.

[@swearingpriest98]

Skill issue dude.

[@rustyshack1707]

Redditor for sure.