Asperger's Syndrome Vlog - Social Anxiety, is it Learned or Innate?

[@fifthavenuegirl]

I totally relate to you...I often say the same things...I don't get people either. Partly why I have so many animals...

[@NadineHarrington]

Thanks, Maranda. And best of luck to you with everything.

[@mandyslittlelife]

Thanks!

[@carriem362]

I have the second stage of a formal assessment tomorrow - I think I'll probably be diagnosed. I related to a lot of what you said in the video. Whenever anyone likes me I'm terrified that they'll change into someone horrible and monstrous like a couple of people I've known have to various extents. I feel quite vulnerable in the face of the mutability/unreliability/dishonesty of other people, and, while I try to be tough & impervious, as soon as I allow myself to/dare to/take the gamble of care/caring about another person, I'm driven almost out of my mind by worrying about what might go wrong & hurt me & trying to make sense of the present and future by way of the pretty much irrelevant/not entirely applicable past. I can't see the causal links of thinks sometimes - & solipsism is a biggie for most people I should think, because presumably most people aren't actually socially psychic - however I do get the feeling that the high points of my braininess are counterpointed quite ridiculously by vast swathes of "what on earth just happened there this doesn't make sense" which comes if being surrounded by people whose thought processes are different to mine. Also, frustratingly, people expect me to think & feel things I don't, & I either have to endlessly teach them my ways it be constantly misunderstood & uncatered for, which makes me very angry, but can't be helped. It's frustrating. I've been socially anxious since primary school, at least. I used to lock myself in the loos and hide. Once I just tried to run away. It was terrifying.

[@mandyslittlelife]

Carrie Wilde Thanks for checking out my videos! I hope you are able to get some answers with the assessment. I know personally it made me feel better overall once I was diagnosed because then the problems I have always had started to make more sense.

[@thatspookyfeeling]

*shivers* WOW it seems like we've had so many similar people/trust experiences...Just wow. All I'll say here but wow. LOL. I'm somehow truly shocked though that people would say unkind things about your writing ability or interests. Perhaps they're jealous...Or crazy. hugs. Morticia

[@mandyslittlelife]

Yeah, people can be real jerks. And I'm unfortunately related to a bunch of them lol.

[@Tim_G_Bennett]

I very much relate to this. I'm sure most of my social anxiety is from failing to fit in and as you say when we start to get somewhere others and start to relax a bit then we make a mistake and it's all over in a bad way. I'm sure most people don't grow up, they just get older. How people behave at work is so much like still being at school it's sad.

[@mandyslittlelife]

Sounds like you have dealt with these feelings a lot too :(

[@NadineHarrington]

Thanks, Maranda. Your video was helpful. I could relate to what you said about social anxiety developing from life experience. Actually, I could relate to almost everything you said, lol. I appreciate your honesty and openness.

[@mandyslittlelife]

Thanks for watching and commenting Nadine! I'm glad you could relate! That is why I started doing these videos, hoping that maybe other people who deal with the same things might be comforted or encouraged.

[@NadineHarrington]

Well, it worked . . . thanks again. :) Would you consider doing a video blog on Aspergers and the workplace? I could relate to what you said about that subject in this video and know I could benefit from hearing more about your experience, especially since I am currently going through a challenging transition in that area. Thanks.

[@mandyslittlelife]

Sure, I'll add it to my list of topics I want to cover :)

[@thatspookyfeeling]

I really enjoyed this Vlog! I don't have Aspergers but I think my social anxiety stems from many of the same reasons. It's interesting it gets worse as we get older too. And yes it's way harder when we're not interested in basic things other people are then it becomes a chore. LOL. Now get me with people of like minds who are all friendly and I'm excellent! Thanks for this, it was great. Morticia

[@mandyslittlelife]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@kristoffermoberg101]

You make some interesting arguments. As for dealing with people, there's a whole aspect of people that we just can't relate to - and that aspect has both a light and a dark side.

[@mandyslittlelife]

Yeah, I do think that feeling like I often "fail" at social interaction or relationships adds to the social anxiety. I think it is probably normal to feel anxiety when forced to do something outside of your comfort zone and we are often forced out of our comfort zones on a daily basis!

[@FirstmaninRome]

This is great point, that's the way I experienced it. Kids don't experience social anxiety really, even when they're being picked on, at least in my case. But at puberty, in 7th grade some aspies, at least me Fall apart. Dealing with noise of a highschool lunch room, hall ways, people you don't know, not to mention bullies caused me to just stop going to school. I'm saying it's common, but it happens. But before that I was sort of a class clown, though I did take it too far and get in trouble, after I found myself at a loss to deal with social situations. Asperger's and Anxiety by nick Dubin, he says aspies Feel inferior cause of lack of social skills, and lead themselves to be victims sometimes, and I Know now in middle age, that I have done this Many times, but I feel better now diagnosed, and you certainly should too Maranda.

[@mandyslittlelife]

Sounds like we had some similar experiences. Yeah, I do think sometimes I put myself in the role to be picked on, even though I don't mean to obviously.

[@2012BeyondtheWorld]

I can relate. Most likely social anxiety is learned from years of being bullied, mistreated, and beating yourself up because you can't fit in. But actually you can without social anxiety. It's a pretty normal reaction to have when humanity is so cruel to us. Seems that bullies are less human than we give them power to be. We take what they say about us and believe it for so many years. Of course we get plagued and continue rehearsing everything from our past and also fear situations to protect ourselves. Your video is as close to my experience I could find. Thank you.

[@mandyslittlelife]

Glad you could relate! I also blog (www.marandarussell.com) if you wanna check that out.

[@crislathan4020]

thumbnail Caption 'r they smoken weed n Colorado??"

[@crislathan4020]

fz rg is very trauamtizing now sickend about trans culture how adults made unisex into made women i just am sickend

[@crislathan4020]

"loora ahn made cut for Cis Straight??"

[@crislathan4020]

i developt asbpergers from being very poor since child n 90s

[@crislathan4020]

ha ha ha bibr life 'whats wrong i cant??" 'tryna show my gf right now n my Gt-R"

[@crislathan4020]

being n 18 trillion debt countriy though.. i believe its bigger than we cud no

[@crislathan4020]

odd we didnt call it Autism but "Oregon"

[@crislathan4020]

"hott. but they dont do it. they dont actually go there in real life"

[@crislathan4020]

"thumbnail Caption '_, i missed going in to work?? just a minute ago it was 11"

[@mandyslittlelife]

Wow, you commented a lot on one video lol. Not even sure where to start with all that. Maybe being poor in the 90's caused my Asperger's too, but kind of doubt it. I did eat a lot of ramen noodles though, maybe that is the real culprit behind autism.

[@mandyslittlelife]

By the way, serious or personal topics like this I now cover on my 2nd channel: kzbin.info/door/-hMlfrA7cMlJnWP5l60K9g

[@crislathan4020]

did it get better?

[@crislathan4020]

" a 14 Carats."