I'm in psychosis right now

[@LivingWellAfterSchizophrenia]

JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY Schizophrenia Peer Support Community: www.schizophreniapeersupport.com

[@juanitagranillo1747]

My daughter just got diagnosed with this and it's been very hard to understand what she's going through .she thinks I'm her worse enemy, that I steal from her and take her personal belongings. I'm not sure what to do.

[@mattx9260]

@@juanitagranillo1747 first remind your daughter that her personal belonging you bought it. tell her to knock that shit off, if she wants to go she can leave at anytime. let her schizo side that you have a boundery.

[@morningfrost4638]

.Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit ❤️🙏

[@bruggeman672]

Well done. You're doing a great service here trying to educate people about this all too common affliction. Your courage is a testament to your character. I can honestly say I wouldn't have the courage to post my own episodes despite that it is important people see and understand what this illness is actually like for those of us who must live with it. I only wish I could do more to support you.

[@matilda4406]

@@bruggeman672 How much do you think is medication induced ?

[@MrTigerlore]

She’s working so hard. This is the most under-control psychotic state I’ve ever seen. I know were not seeing the really bad stuff; but the fact that she can make this video during psychosis is no small feat.

[@LeyasLife]

She definitely has a lot of insight into her illness. Which is amazing. Most ppl with schizophrenia lack insight and some have no insight that they actually have schizophrenia. Again I believe she has put in a lot of work and has amazing support so she can concentrate on her illness.

[@healthisagift5189]

You give so much hope to others!

[@meganhenry5795]

Absolutely. She's incredible person. I hope she sees that. She brings so much peace to all who struggle with mental health.

[@YourFutureExWife]

It’s so great to see a group of people being so supportive instead of trying to rip her to shreds during such a challenging time. ❤

[@LeyasLife]

@@YourFutureExWife I agree !!

[@mountainmolerat]

I'm a psychotherapist and have had the privilege of working with lots of folks who experience psychosis. Sharing yourself during such a vulnerable time is the opposite of weak or shameful - it's courageous and generous and deserving of gratitude and respect.

[@BoltBandicoot]

That's really nice.

[@DontAssume123]

True.

[@bissboos3669]

Exactly !

[@dawnwalker398]

You are an inspiration to me as I respect your courage & devotion to providing awareness of your personal life & symptoms you deal with from Schizophrenia

[@deefromott]

I doubt you've ever had a patient with schizophrenia. This woman is perfectly mentally healthy. For her, schizophrenia apparently means not putting on your make up.

[@fabiannavarro6611]

I’m 21 years old. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar disorder 2 years ago. Thank you for making me feel less alone with your videos

[@paulflint6254]

I have that too, its hell.

[@charmingblanc]

@@paulflint6254 what do u hear feel and see?

[@sarvaise]

My dad has the same but he abuses substances. Do I just lose hope or how do I help with the paranoia? He thinks that there are cameras all over his apartment. What do I do

[@llawliet8338]

​@@sarvaiseMy gut reaction would be to share your concern about his health with him but I'm almost certain he would react defensively and aggressively so I wouldn't rush into that. It's in my experience fathers have a sense of pride and responsibility to not be seen or told as weak, even when they show weakness, so of course in pointing out 'weakness' they will be defensive. As for what you can currently do, take him seriously in his fears but dont entertain them. For example, promote distilling the fear but not extending it. Offer to check for the cameras, sweep the house and calm the immediate fear, but when the paranoia comes up again, keep reminding of logic (such as hes been in the house the whole time its not possible for them to be there , or its physically impossible for cameras to be hidden in walls without it being apparent ect ect) as to why its not the case instead of repeatedly checking the house time and time again. Calm but not entertain/encourage. This will hopefully let him feel that you're not against him, that you can be trusted so when it comes time to take future steps in help, he wont have so many walls up (hopefully). Im assuming alot here about both him and the situation so take it all with a grain of salt. If you notice things getting worse, reach out to a anonymous helpline and ask them as professional volunteers (if thats the case in your country) what you should do, they might say to refer him for a hospital stay, or for you to talk to him about it depending on your safety (again i have no clue your situation, im just going by my mentally unwell father experience) Sometimes, there is no convincing a parent as their child, and thats something you have to accept as not your responsibility. You are not responsible for his health no matter what traditions might disagree. Theres only so much you can do, and if it even remotely crosses your mind, take care of yourself first. Like i said, dont take this as bible advice, just some thoughts from personal experience on similar situations and as a schizoaffective myself. Hope it helps though

[@matjazcigut4589]

sometimes it feels like all we need to do is to learn to live with psychosis. I mean all people every now and then get somewhat psychotic, whether they smoke weed or just think about something, someone a bit too hard. but when we're really psychotic, us schizophrenics, I think it's way more intense than with healthy people and it's near impossible to go on just living like it's normal for weeks, even days. next time it happens to me, which may be soon just because I'm gonna post this comment, I'm gonna remind everyone that I didn't want this for my life, that I was never in control of my life, that the disease limited me, that I didn't have no support, that I was on my own for way over a decade, that there's things that can't be fixed anymore, that I've been robbed of so many things, like celebrating birthdays, new years, having sex, kissing and being in love, enjoying marijuana, having a good time in amsterdam (where I went two times), having a good time in college, how empty all these years have been, for many years I listened to a very limited catalogue of songs, seen very little movies, clicked on very few videos on youtube... and it's all because of schizophrenia. I'm gonna remind them where they were at 20 years old and where I was, I'm gonna remind them where they were at 23 years old and where I was, where they were at 27 years old and so on and so forth. how many times they've been to Ljubljana or Maribor, or London or Prague, or the sea, how many joints they smoked and enjoyed, the home parties they've been in compared to my miserable empty life. and how I'll never have that cause I'll never be young again. I can't go study now and have that life, I'll be 14 years older than everyone else in first semester, shit, much older than everyone going for their masters degree. how my brother, mum, dad, grandmas could have had a different life hadn't I gotten schizophrenia, how our home could be more lively, with people coming in, like girlfriends and friends... maybe my brother and I would both have families by now. and they laughed at me, they laughed at me djing music for them. when I just didn't know what's really going on, didn't see how things are, was deep down in the plato's cave. and I'll tell them that I did go to the psychotherapy of psychosis department of the clinic in Ljubljana and how, in my eyes, they embarassed themselves. it was supposed to be "the best thing we have in slovenia" but it turned out to be total bullshit. and why do I have schizophrenia? if people did this to me, let people fix it. if God did this to me, let God fix it. why should I put in the work? they say I should do this and that, it's all baby steps, it's all hard, nothing makes sense, like why tf should I stress myself, when it's not my fault, it was not my decision, my plan, that I've gotten mentally ill. looking back, I couldn't have done a thing differently than I did, cause I was the way I was, functioning the way I was at that time. the question is, could they have done some things differently than they did.

[@richardwilsonavena]

I dont hide pyschosis well, but I do hide my major depression very well. I am empowered to see you be so transparent.

[@laurawilkie7628]

Me too. But don’t fool yourself, we aren’t hiding it as well as we might think we are. And I’m done hiding

[@magenta22]

Please do not feel embarrassed. I appreciate your openness. You're helping my teen dtr, and you're helping me understand what my daughter goes through. We're grateful to you.

[@wanya_telborn]

Absolutely! Thanks for saying this ❤

[@NF40375]

Same here Helping my son Helping me understand my son

[@margiemurphy3336]

I wish u could get into see your Doctor

[@MsMadman05]

Agreed thank you for being honest. I appreciate your full transparency. It helps me understand my son better

[@labrat5150]

Hear in Texas I am scared to be open. And knowing I can't be honest with my doctor. Because they would lock me up people don't understand psych hospitals are prisons essentially prisons

[@norbeaster420]

Because of you I'm going to be more honest with my doctor about what I am experiencing. Your video isn't pointless, because I know that feeling. I feel like half a ghost. You got this.

[@junemoonchild69]

Be honest, but be careful. Psychiatrists are caring doctors, but they are required by law, depending upon what you say and the specific words you use, to admit you to a psychiatric ward or hospital...and once this happens, you will lose all your rights to choose if you want to stay there, what medications they'll make you take while you're in there, and most importantly, when you will be permitted to leave, if ever. Your situation and feelings are valid, but I would simply suggest finding a person, place and way to help yourself that's not affiliated with the state government. I love you and you are not a ghost and you just need LOVE from elsewhere. ♡♡♡♡

[@carlgriffith4660]

@@junemoonchild69 Excellent advise!!!

[@Steve76777]

@@junemoonchild69 Great advice. Wish I had that advice 10 years ago. Sad that psychiatry cares more about controlling us than helping us.

[@dramatriangle]

Been there.

[@norbeaster420]

@@junemoonchild69 Thank you, I really needed that man. Love you too whoever you are across the world! Stay safe!

[@amcname494]

The pain in your eyes, it just . . . I ache for you. and I will always support you and your channel.

[@michellehendey6721]

Really well put. I can see the same thing in my sister's eyes and my heart aches too

[@miriammullen9589]

You are so brave

[@hushmychild6745]

Thank god people like you exist and share this so openly. Please never stop being you.

[@rudinetaggart]

You are loved

[@cynthiaclick9381]

My mother was schizophrenic. I think the paranoia is a huge part of the disease. You are incredibly wise to see it. Hugs to you.

[@aprilmingone3271]

So is mine.

[@ronniebattle1310]

@@aprilmingone3271 Encounter Ministries KZbin channel. Mark Hemans==

[@perrycoffey5410]

@@aprilmingone3271 so was mine as well it seemed

[@aprilmingone3271]

@@perrycoffey5410 awe it’s hard being the kid of someone suffering from this isn’t it?! You wanna help the best you can but try why have to try too.

[@FluffyBunny-l9z]

Yes the paranoia is the hard bit to understand.

[@tcort]

Sending positive thoughts your way. Take care, Lauren.

[@wanya_telborn]

❤️

[@Catlily5]

💜💔💜

[@LivingWellAfterSchizophrenia]

Thank you for your support!

[@lilnuggetheadd]

Say it out loud THIS IS NOT MY FAULT. Your self awareness is your strength. There is bravery in asking for help. 🖤

[@alwayslousmom8095]

Love this comment 💜💜🙌🏻

[@RichardHinds-qs2mi]

I worked for 13 years in emergency psychiatric care. It’s amazing what you are doing cause this helps so many people feel less alone. Which is the worst part of every mental illness. Blessings to you. Be ok.

[@madelinebrennan7603]

You do sound like you're doing everything right under the circumstances. You've told the people who can help you most. You're following a plan that's been guided with you by those who care and who can help. You have a backup plan if things don't improve within 24 hours. If you decide to be hospitalized, it will be temporary, only to stabilize you but nobody seemed to say that's where you should go just yet so it sounds like there's a sensible, respectful, responsible plan in place. You'll be ok. This is temporary. My mother was always terrified of hospitalizations. My brother too. I understand. I'm with you. If you're up for it, keep us updated please. xo

[@jacquelineleitch7050]

I just don’t go. I made a deal with myself that no matter how bad it got that I wouldn’t go. I haven’t been in a psych ward since 1990 and I just suck up the crap and let the shit fall. But that took a lot of therapy and years of experience of dealing with distancing myself from what is expected of me from the uncaring and schadenfreude (translated roughly as ignorant punitive hate-loving peasant culture). Also the years of taking vitamins and working with diet has given me a good metabolic baseline.

[@80islandia]

@@jacquelineleitch7050 I totally hear you. "Distancing myself from what is expected of me" has been a key healing strategy for me as well. Psych wards fill me with rage.

[@jacquelineleitch7050]

@@80islandia for me terror of the insanity of having barely qualified people working on psych wards and showing off their power and status, the lower regions of psychiatry that get hired by psych wards ( the 50 percentile work psych wards while the top of the classes work are self employed and charge a fortune from complacent individuals suffering minor neurosis or depression.) and then the long term weird of the long term inmates of the ward and everyone is on drugs. Total bs and completely scary.

[@jasminescloset2021]

what a lovely comment @madelinebrennan❤

[@johnruhland9428]

11:37 HI Lauren, I have experienced your place, unpleasant as it is. To share experience with you, may possibly open doors. I have seven children, we were together for 20 yrs., we are taught by professionals very much to go introspective in problem solving, which really does predominately work. The missing answer I found is actually sometimes in your activities beyond your control, in otherwords situational ? In our Family life (mine) I was the breadwinner and pillar, now I tried tremendously to understand and support my wife in her struggles as a Mom, in discussions with her, I would say you are stepping up to the hardest challenge in the world, Mothering. My wife would then say well it's actually easier with 6 or seven, but that she would never forget the deep challenges of the first 3 and that that was by far the hardest of the raising of the seven. The point for your possible consideration is that possibly the challenges of the 3, the you tube channel, etc may be the actual emotions and thoughts you are feeling ? Only thoughts for your consideration only. If it is situational you may find proactive approach to the problem will bring out of your stressful situation ? Someone with 4 or 5 children experience for ideas, or time management possibly in the channel, possibly a nice dinner with you and Rob ? A 50 yr experience with schizoaffective disorder leaves a certain amount of my door to situational circumstances. Possibly a Father of seven in support of his wife and a multimillion dollar custom cabinet business may be worthwhile to entertain some thought with. You accept a great amount of responsibility, but that does not mean you are the failing one, there are many a people with 3,4,5 kids willing to share experiences, as well as with the stresses of a channel. Only wishing the best for you and Rob and munchkins. Take care Lauren.😅

[@pocketz1398]

You're okay. :) I was diagnosed with schizophrenia about 24 years ago. I'm 43. I made it this far. I hope you find things to be happy about. Have a great day.

[@MrDerpdog]

Hi Lauren, to touch on your comment: “I think it [this video] was probably not a great articulation of what I’m experiencing”…” I think this is a valuable video. I sympathize with the extreme vulnerability, sense of shame, feeling completely lost and defeated. It’s very reminiscent of the darkest days of my mental health issues when I was really going “through it”, to put it lightly. It’s a painful but important reminder to the general public that mental health problems exist and must be managed like any sort of illness and trying to censor it helps nobody, especially the sufferers. We’re all cheering for you, lurkers and commenters alike. I really commend you for uploading this video but I also completely understand and support you if you feel like it’s too painful to leave up. Be well.

[@jewelleryaddict]

I understand. With chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia 30 yrs I look picture of health. I work hard to look ok, it makes me feel better but people think if I am out and look ok I am ok. They don't see me in bed about 50 to 70% of the time. This video is good for those who suffer with what you have. Many of us understand. Even without your illness. You are very brave.

[@AlexandraFischman]

As a Clinical Mental Health Counselor, I applaud you for making a video during such a vulnerable time. You are doing such an important, and validating thing for so many people. Decreasing stigma is achieved partially through videos like this. Thank you, and sending you light and love

[@missybrewer423]

Trying to get others who are not effected to understand this is a large task! No one would ever ask for this to happen and the stigma needs to go away! We need to help our mentally I'll! We need to do better

[@yasmyncammeron9883]

Agreed

[@innag6888]

@@missybrewer423 one way to help "our mentally ill" is by not referring to them as "our mentally ill" which is dehumanizing and patronizing. PEOPLE with mental illnesses is the term to use.

[@S4vh55hdci]

I have worked in the mental health field for decades as a psychiatric RN. I want to let you know how courageous you are and how much I have respect for you for your authenticity and vulnerability. Believe me, you are not alone! Thank you for this video. It is enormously helpful to so many and helps destigmatize and normalize mental health challenges that many go through which lay on a spectrum. You are crystal clear and very articulate in describing your current state when you made this video. Thank you so much again.❤

[@jjones9822]

I had a psychotic break 12 years ago and it was brutal. Hallucinations, nonstop auditory hallucinations, paranoia, the feeling of constantly being watched (even in the bathroom), thinking people are following you, thinking your family is in on it. It is terrifying. I was in a psych ward for ten days until they finally got me stable. The point is, in those moments of psychosis I thought it would never end. I felt hopeless. But it is beatable. Find medication which is right for you(sometimes you to try different meds), and stay hopeful. Also, and I know there are people who think it’s corny, but pray. Talk to God. It may seem crazy but I felt there was a spiritual aspect to what was happening to me. As if I opened a door in the mind that was meant to stay shut. This was caused by a combination of trauma from the loss of my Mother and drug abuse. I could be completely wrong but I believe there was deep spiritual damage that left me vulnerable to chaos. I know people put all of their hopes in pharmaceuticals but faith in something bigger can help.

[@jennifero1836]

Thank you for all of the work that you do....good psychiatric RN's who are empathetic and truly care are a real gem!

[@wbd762]

I have such respect for how vulnerable you allow yourself to be. Thank you for sharing your struggles here. My brother was diagnosed with Schizophrenia very young,16 years. Your insights have helped me understand his struggles as well. Unfortunately, he has severe paranoid schizophrenia and cannot work or communicate thoughts clearly.

[@YeIsCorrect]

how do you even do it? the nurses were the only saving grace of my experience there, and even then it was only a few of them, one or two. when id call the doctors/psychiatrists evil it was clear the nurses agreed and never had qualms about me doing so, in fact most seemed to enjoy somebody was finally telling them to their face.

[@surethabadenhorst]

​​@@jjones9822 Most deffinitely agree about the spiritual aspect of it. Prayer helped me a lot, and now as long as I stay off drugs, illegal and legal, and hold onto God ❤ I never ever have these attacks anymore 🙌🏼

[@JN.S.M]

Please don't feel like this is a failure. It is not. Your illness is outside your control, just like cancer or any other physical disease is. What you can control is your reaction to it, and how you manage to have this level of bravery to be vulnerable and have an incredible sense of self-awareness is proof of just how strong you are. It shows have far you've grown throughout the years. We're rooting for you, you got this. Things will get better, just be patient with yourself and treat yourself with the kindness you deserve.

[@francescafrancesca3554]

Thank you for being so respectful and supportive. I felt dignified while reading your words and they were not even for me, but you are right. I struggle with different things, and I'll keep your words in mind. Thank you.

[@JN.S.M]

@@francescafrancesca3554 Hey, you’re absolutely welcome! I’m struggling too and these words are meant for anyone who’s just trying their best. This is your sign that you will be okay. So, I’m rooting for you too kind human! ❤️

[@louellenb]

As a nurse and someone that struggles with mental wellness, you are extraordinary!!! Thank you for sharing you!

[@TaterKakez]

I don’t have schizophrenia, but I struggle with my own cocktail of mental illnesses. I understand and share the feeling of embarrassment when I am deep in my disorders, but just know that NONE of us are judging you with anything other than amazement, awe and admiration. You are self aware and able to share with SO many and help others in ways you (and I!) can’t imagine. Love and protection to you 💜🧿💜

[@AngelaVEdwards]

Yep. Very true.

[@Carol-vp3hc]

She is very self aware, and so are you. It's not easy to admit sometimes we're not ok. Some are afraid of being judged. I don't worry about what others think. When my brain feels like scrambled eggs, I'm open about it. I won't hide how I'm feeling. If people are uncomfortable, that's ok. I don't expect everyone to jump on the, Carol, bandwagon. But I won't pretend to be someone I'm not.

[@cynthiapeterson2740]

🙏❤️🙏

[@nickmills8476]

She has great courage to open up like this

[@ronniebattle1310]

@@Carol-vp3hc Encounter Ministries KZbin channel. Mark Hemans==

[@evercuriousmichelle]

I just want to re-affirm that you aren't weak and that this isn't a personal failing. Sometimes shit happens even when you've done everything right. Sending you hugs!

[@paulx7620]

It makes me sad you're struggling with this, wish I could give you a hug.

[@RaysDad]

Lauren, I hope the process of making this video has helped you organize your thoughts and planning. Best wishes and much love to you.

[@Awesomes007]

I have words. Compassion. Familiarity. Concerned. Grateful. Empathetic. Angry. Forgiving. Confused. Saddened. Clinging to that shred of hope for this woman, myself, and all those impacted by our special minds.

[@Awesomes007]

@@lespritdelescalier4858 Are you telling a people with schizophrenia, during their terrifying descent into psychosis, that they should eat better? Let me know if I missed something. Because to me, that’s either incredibly daft, or cruel.

[@alicia_naraiah]

@L’esprit de l’escalier are you fr right now?? This was an INCREDIBLY shortsighted and ignorant thing to say... I mean I'm actually pretty lost for words

[@lisamellberg2892]

​@L’esprit de l’escalier I understand your comment about inflammation and the gut Brain. It is an important component to helping with keeping Well and managing a mental illness along with medications, therapy etc ...all those things.and it's all individual...what works for some people doesn't for others.

[@3313xx]

@@alicia_naraiah How funny that you people complain about advice such as this but don’t bat an eyelid at the suggestion (or rather, doctors order) of taking medication. I WISH I had known about the connection btwn nutrition and mental/brain health many years ago. Ofc it’s not a magic bullet and you need a holistic approach but it can be very helpful for sure. And no psychiatrist ever really addresses this. So there is nothing wrong with pointing it out as most people are rather unaware of the effect that nutrition can have.

[@ajrtraill8085]

To be fair, you’re channel is called Living WELL with Schizophrenia. You’re very brave and my heart goes out to you.

[@jacquelineess1141]

I am. You are (You're) He is. She is. My book. Your book. His book. Her book.

[@Plethorality]

It doesnt say "living well without schizophrenia". Handling it, IS living well.

[@kellywhitaker3631]

Thank you for humbling yourself and doing this video. My son suffers from this condition and you have helped so much. Thank you.

[@teritreiger7662]

You mentioned feedback you receive. As a healthcare professional, my experience has been that the general public have limited to no real-life experience with people living with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorders. Many opinions and beliefs are based on TV and movie depictions.... neither of which reflect authentically. You are doing a major service to everyone who takes the time to watch your videos. Thank you so much for putting your life out in the public eye.

[@biancamichelle11]

This is sooo true. People think that if a person is not at the very height of their symptoms and in great turmoil, that they are faking it. But suffering in daily life can look more like a person is numb, add medications to that and you get a very different demeanor.

[@lilme7052]

I agree. I have a mental health disorder that is portrayed only badly in media. I know nothing of your disorder. Its only on tv when it's very dramatic and portrayed as a frightening thing. I'm sorry it's like that.

[@karolinawww6834]

That's also why it's so hard to see someone going through this. I have a person with schizophrenia in the family and no one knew what was happening to her for years

[@kelseymccarson7746]

Hey thanks for sharing this. You’re an amazing person.

[@marthafazzini9835]

I agree. As a child of an Mother who suffered with this disorder, I appreciate your story. You’re brave. You’ve brought comfort to this daughter.

[@sourgummiez]

We are here rooting for you Lauren!!!

[@Feline-friend007]

I started working as an assistant at a psychiatric ward in 2001, and i love the fact that we are having a conversation around mental health in this way. I think it is way overdue and i support anyone along their path out of despair, by whatever means they find necessary.

[@harleecunningham7559]

❤

[@Steve76777]

Im assuming you had to inject some patients against their will?

[@matthewlandry251]

Nobody should be criticizing this woman! Be strong!

[@2listening1]

8:43 I believe very strongly that this isn’t a personal failure. You’re an amazing mental athlete.

[@howareyou857]

I agree so much with this

[@CarolH2]

My heart goes out to you right now Lauren 😢❤ You are not failing! Just your vulnerability right now means you're NOT failing!!!

[@maryannschlear5161]

YES ! Aptly put. Thank you !

[@ronniebattle1310]

@@maryannschlear5161 Encounter Ministries KZbin channel. Mark Hemans==

[@Karen_Rollins89]

My husband passed almost a year ago & I didn’t know that he was schizophrenic. I think it was super important to him to appear “normal” to the point that he refused to seek help, refused to admit that there was a problem, and ultimately he drank and starved himself to death. So I just have to mention how I can’t say enough about how much of a good thing this is that you’re open to sharing your struggles, you’re reaching out for help, and are honest about your symptoms. I’ll keep you in my prayers 🌸

[@Weld24_CosmicKat]

I'm so terribly sorry your husband succumbed to this illness. I'll keep You and your family in my prayers.

[@Karen_Rollins89]

@@Weld24_CosmicKat thank you

[@CYRINTHIA212]

🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@shalacarter5798]

I understand his point of you. I am so sorry for your loss. But I would love to be able to starve myself to death a lot of times. I fight so hard to keep from killing myself because then I know my family would not get my life insurance.

[@Karen_Rollins89]

@@shalacarter5798 please know that you are loved and valued. While this is not a popular thing to say in this day and time - Jesus sees you. He loves you. And He understands that you’re struggling. I may not know or understand what you’re struggling with because I’ve never experienced that, but you’re every bit as precious to Him. I will keep you in my prayers

[@miriamwilson9542]

You are so strong. I suffer with mental health issues. You speak for all of us. It is beyond scary to struggle with one s own mind.

[@lesialarson4199]

Oh, you poor sweet girl. I’m so sorry that you deal with this horrible illness. My son does also. It breaks my heart for everyone who suffers with this. You are so brave. I love your channel. Hugs to you!

[@patriciacinea3097]

I work in a mental health hospital. So many thanks for your humility and honesty. You have a gift of communication. You're sharing this episode of your illness is so helpful for me in the care of my patients. Thank you.

[@lauracanna2201]

Nothing to be embarrassed about. By sharing you are just making people become aware and educated about this condition. Also don't feel that you have to share, only share what you feel comfortable with and ignore any criticism. You don't owe anything to anyone. ❤❤❤

[@christinareihill]

I’m a writer who wants to shed light on the misconceptions of difference, as a “ felt” or feeling experience and finding your channel , articulating your experience is a gift, no book, psychiatrist or therapist can offer. Keep telling us about life on a boat, without a compass or weather charts….… what a champion…Few can do this …Thank you again

[@themetalchica]

Bipolar and just now stabilizing after a 4 month psychotic break. Hearing you talk about feeling like a failure, or guilty, or it happened bc you did something wrong, gave me a feeling of understanding I've not been able to share with others. Thank you so much for sharing your story. We are not alone. ❤

[@BeingBetter]

Ive felt the same way after my psychosis with bipolar 1.

[@aleksanderwaskowski1862]

Bipolar have psychotic mania ( hallucinations are everyday from 8 years by clomipramine ), manic psychosis and psychosis in mania ...

[@kaylaschroeder1]

Oh my gosh.. a 4-month psychosis..? 🥺😢 How horrible.

[@themetalchica]

@@kaylaschroeder1 my psych took me off my meds. It took all that time to stabilize me. I don't know that I'd survive another bout like that. It's like I don't remember anything, but I sure can still feel the agony. But stable as a 4-legged table for now. Actively seeking a new shrink, but it's impossible to be seen STAT, at least in Florida. There are also no mental health rehabs in a 125 mile area from my house that take medicaid. God, it was a disaster. But you reminded me that it's over now, and with a much different and MUCH happier ending than I would've predicted.

[@Jabafish]

As someone who just got released from the psychiatric hospital 3 weeks ago because of psychosis. I can 100% agree with you that people don't believe me that I am sick while it happens.

[@angelalicea7871]

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. We are all here to support you. My fiancé is currently being hospitalized for schizoaffective disorder. His medication regimen is very off and he was once at a good place with his meds, but certain delusions turned him away. It’s very difficult because this last month he’s been hospitalized twice and because of you I am able to get through this and educate myself and him. I appreciate you !!

[@margaretgarana911]

Good luck. You got this

[@BareBohemianBeauty]

I hate to hear that about your fiancé but I'm glad this channel helps you as it does me as the one with the illnesses. I do hope he gets better soon and they figure out meds that will work so the suffering and worry can end x

[@tashastarling6573]

My boyfriend too.... solar flares can affect people. don't tell them if they are going to obsess over it. watch out for it tho and see

[@daynerbarrera3774]

My dear, you are amazing. I have worked as a clinical psychologist for 20 + years, and you rarely see a person who is suffering from psychosis with such a degree of insight and awareness. What you just did in this video requires courage, reflects a remarkable sense of self-engagement and self-commitment, and is quite helpful for those people who suffer from a chronic psychiatric condition and those who deal with mental patients on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing your perspective on such a complex matter. My best wishes to you and I hope you feel 100% fine soon.

[@Fashionsources]

Thank you for your videos my son is schizophrenic and im trying understand the illness im so proud of you for educating us and for your videos god bless you and your family

[@shieh.4743]

Thank you for your vulnerability, Lauren. You are loved and supported by so many.

[@neilgrundy]

It is not in any way weakness. To face a camera and put this out for the whole world to see is the most amazing show of strength I've ever seen.

[@Primotutor]

This too shall pass…please hang in there Lauren, this has nothing to do with being weak. You have contributed immensely.

[@timjohnston9764]

Glad for your honesty. You are courageous for doing this and I hope this is therapeutic for you and others. Love from 🇨🇦

[@songcentral3110]

It’s not weakness or a failure. I know it feels vulnerable but I promise you, I really appreciate your honesty.

[@carlyodonnell6910]

As somebody working in the healthcare field, your videos are incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. In doing so, you are not only helping others who face similar struggles, but also the ones who hope to offer you support (friends, family, doctors, etc.). It is so very apparent how much true work you have put into your wellness. To have this degree of insight while actively struggling with acute psychosis is nothing short of incredible. I know words coming from a stranger on the internet probably don't mean much, but in your vulnerability and struggles, I see so much of your inner strength. Sending love and well wishes as you navigate this challenging time. Given all you have overcome in the past and the support system you have built up around yourself, I feel confident in your ability to overcome this current episode as well. You've got this!

[@traciG]

💯 Couldn't have said that better! 💯

[@MissTeaq]

Traci w/ an 👁️ and Carly O’Donnell Thank you both for your beautiful comments. 💐🌷💐🌸💐🌷💐 These comments are a reflection that the beautiful hearts of humans are not as rare as they may seem. Thank you a million times over. 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤍🩷🩶❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤍

[@ronniebattle1310]

@@traciG Encounter Ministries KZbin channel. Mark Hemans÷÷

[@traciG]

@@ronniebattle1310 thanks ill check it out 😇

[@princessagatha9991]

No words, just sending moral support and appreciation for your vulnerability and bravery in sharing.

[@David-jd5lp]

Thanks!

[@klxzz]

When your actual reality is grounded with medication and it fails you... I don't want to imagine the betrayal you must have felt. Your ability to be able to, whilst in psychosis, center yourself and connect your brain back online is amazing. I have never witnessed this before with someone in a psychotic episode. The amount of power you have is astounding. Especially when you said that this episode is a different than what you have experienced before.

[@stacieboucher1570]

And how sad the Dr is failing her taking over a week to get her an appointment to help adjust the meds!

[@Eric-tj3tg]

@@stacieboucher1570 Sad and scary truth here. Does he know how many subs she's got? Maybe a week wait is the case WITH leverage? Sick system.

[@adamjacobrogers9155]

I feel your pain man. As a high functioning case I can relate. You're not alone. There are some who know pain, and trauma, hell, everyone knows "hurt." few know what suffering is, or can be. It means, for life. Constantly having to endure a thing that never goes away. And most serious mental illnesses are progressive as I was informed by the medical director of the hospital when I lost my shit completely and spent a fortnight among a restless and troubled group of brave individuals.

[@johnnypeake6073]

You’ll get through this !!❤

[@shannontroncoso4127]

Thank you, Lauren! You were divinely placed in my path today and I so very needed to watch your video.

[@needlenude]

I hope that down the line, you can see how powerful it is to be able to get on camera and let the world know that you're suffering right now. This isn't something anyone would just wake up and do every day. You're helping people, including me (raise a hand if you've got schizoaffective disorder... 🖐️). Just reading the comments too and be reminded that I'm not the only person in the world who has this unknown illness. My experience? These episodes always pass. Always. Lots of love, you'll get through this ❤

[@Con_blue]

You will get well soon, YOU GOT THIS!❤❤❤

[@unjay1967]

Oh Lauren.. sending love Respect you even more for having seen this.

[@DavidHughes-hv7rl]

Thanks!

[@tabden]

Lauren… we understand. My daughter has ranges of psychosis - rage, catatonia, calm detachment, anxiety, desperation, fear. She struggles as you have shown where she cannot put her finger on how she is feeling at specific times. Yes you feel vulnerable and a LOT challenged to keep your grip on things. We appreciate this so much.

[@ellen_3]

An abundance of love is wrapped around you and is protecting you until you are comfortable 💛

[@marieked7022]

Dear Lauren, sending you all the love and wishing you well from the Netherlands. I really appreciate all the work you do for the world. Your videos are relevant for me for several reasons. I recently met a friend who is diagnosed with schizofrenia. Through your videos I understand this condition better and I have more hope for his future. You are not a failure, you are not weak. You are a bright, smart and empathetic star in this world. Love Marieke

[@katherinethompson3104]

Jic hiCBC c 😮b icv😅

[@janemeachin6831]

I’m in awe of you, what an incredibly courageous person you are. You will be helping not only people who have to deal with mental issues but anyone who has to deal with any issue that seems overwhelming.

[@penelope9133]

I'm so sorry you are going through this painful time. You spoke so eloquently. Thank you for sharing. And don't ever be ashamed. I'm amazed at how brave you are.

[@Lissyhead2]

Mental health episodes are a very personal thing, so I completely respect that you didn't want to share it! Do what feels ok with you. Still, thank you for sharing this, it does teach us a lot and shows what the reality of it looks like.

[@barbaraannmartinez8378]

I have schizoafective disorder, I know how you feel. Thank you for being brave and honest. Prayers and love your way.

[@zaidarivas7152]

Thanks for sharing. My son had schizophrenia for 16 years before he passed. It took him passing for me to look at these videos to better understand what this illness entails. He died of a drug overdose and I spent the last 16 years angry with him. I thought tough love would get him to seek help. The regret I feel weighs heavily. This is a serious mental illness, I think one of the worst. Please be gentle with the afflicted He was making amazing strides this past year and our relationship was on the mend. Then he overdosed. Now he’s gone. I always thought I had time with him. I did not

[@christaw409]

You shouldn’t have done tough love. That never works. My parents did that to me, and it only made me worse. You definitely contributed to making him worse.

[@jeR-m]

​@@christaw409woah wtf kinda thing is that to say. You aren't them. Him or her or whoever... ridiculous...just bc it did this or that to you doesn't mean that's their case. Shits rough. I'm schizoaffective w 5 kids. I regret shit almost daily .. should've would've could've.. not your place to say nor judge. They already said they regret things. That's plenty enough. You point a finger at someone, there are 3 pointing back. I feel embarrassed for you for saying that.

[@AmyintheMountains]

I’m sorry you lost your son. Please take care of yourself. 🤍

[@zaidarivas7152]

@@christaw409 being kind to my son meant him taking advantage of it. Tough love was what the addiction specialists recommended. I’ll listen to them over you. My regret is based on the anger I had towards him all these years because I did not understand addiction. But I’ve come to realize that we all have free will and nothing I could do would stop him from using. Death stopped him. If you’re a schizophrenic using street drugs. Please stop. Your family loves you. They hate the drug use.

[@lindamyers5660]

First, i AM SO, SO, SO, VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. I know there are no words I could ever say that could even scratch the surface of what you have experienced. Me and my son both have struggled with multiple debilitating and life-changing mental illnesses. My son with major ones with suicidal tendencies. I have fought years of wars and lived so many years in the worst possible never-ending fear daily for his life. Life-flighted with a head injury from a bad reck at three he would physically recover 100% but had small sporadic damage throughout his brain which was just the right amount to cause many clinical diagnoses. a million meds many suicide attempts, overdoes, suffering from learning disabilities every day a crazy scary existence, There was attempted hanging, always stitching him up, overdoses, narcam kept in abundance, there were brain bleeds, stabbings, craziness, drugs, jails, he was even shot in the street during covid... another life flight and 3 surgeries to piece his spleen and guts back to save sav him and I couldn't go be with cause of covid, but he survived it all. Oh, praise God. It was as if I held my breath for 24 years and only in the past year and a half have, I dared relax and breathe now and again. He is 19 months clean and holding down a good job. This first time he stayed clean longer than two weeks out of jail. No one knows the effect, pain, struggle fight PTSD, hurt, anguish. effort A parent lives through daily with a mentally challenged child, especially when they are a danger to themselves or others, I have 4 children and he was harder than all three others combined times 10 The love, heartache, and challenges, there is no way to imagine unless you have had to live it have more regrets than I could ever list. But it is a war, a battle. today my son is alive so I'm winning, the odds of that remaining, we who have lived it know are not good it could change at any time It's an ongoing battle, and unless you're in it you could never imagine. I pray for all those who have lost their sons and Daughters, for all still fighting, for all who will come after, and for all who had to go ahead, I pray they have found peace. The only healing I have seen of any degree for Parents who have lost a child is if they can find some way to use the life lost to do some good, to help others to have a better chance to survive and live and win. It matters not how it is done, a charity, a foundation, lobbying for laws or political movement, or sharing experiences, strength, and hope, any way you can honor your child's life by using a tragedy to be a beacon of light to another will give purpose to his life even in death and bring whatever amount of healing that can be found to the ones who loved him here, and there forever more. God bless and keep you. The suffering is real, may we all learn how to help bear each other's burdens.

[@bettybert9819]

You are probably the most courageous woman I’ve come across in years! Teddy and Rob are two very lucky guys.

[@hopegold883]

Bravo. So inspiring to hear the way you can verbalize it. God, first time I’ve felt hope in months.

[@passionworksbodyshop9738]

Wow. Your honesty was a punch in the gut. My mother was schizophrenic and was removed from her as an infant. I feel your pain. Thank you for sharing.

[@cattymajiv]

My mum was dxed too. I will never know if it was true, or if my dad manipulated her and the situation. IMHO he was every bit as delusional as she ever was. But she was subjected to being committed several times and electric shock treatment. They are both dead now. My mum died in her 50s, which is far younger than I am now. My sister and I have both spent our whole lives doubting our own sanity. My heart is with you.

[@henrikolsson8786]

And you are not alone. I'm having symptoms only I experience every day, but I guess people see me as pretty functional. Yet no one fully understands the fight that is taking place in my head and heart. Wish you the best.

[@Pattycakes-hc4pm]

why does this look normal? She looks normal? This is NOT how I thought psychosis was? Are you sure you have it?

[@hlanton1232]

I found your videos in searching for understanding to my mums (now 93) challenges (sadly not just demetia, this is about our life, but we), her husband, us childrens, never got to this level of honesty. Your communication tells me of a humble person bending her life upwards to the light. What you communicate in this video shows that healing is possible. It is so inspiering and meaningful to see and be allowed to follow. Thank you very much. Abundant blessings, and love 💖💕

[@emmawynnehill3141]

Thank you. As both a mental health provider and a person living with a mental illness that takes me out of commission at times, I am so grateful for you. I use your videos in staff trainings all the time. I am sorry you are in this space right now, and I hope you are able to move through it soon. ❤

[@loganwaji-gb2cx]

My sister is suffering from Schizophrenia for the past 25years now she is on antipsychotics her auditory hallucinations are still persistent, you are definitely doing a great job by sharing your thoughts

[@eileendavis2064]

Thank you for sharing. I have schizoaffective too and now seeing your video I don’t feel so alone. Hope you feel better soon.

[@elef951]

Whats your symptoms ?

[@eileendavis2064]

@@elef951 I see raccoons and spiders that aren’t really there. I have delusions about many things at times and I deal with depression at times.

[@77777sadie]

​@Eileen Davis suffering from a mental illness can feel very loney. It's something i deal with almost every day. Praying for you and sending hugs ❤

[@eileendavis2064]

@@77777sadie Hugs🙏

[@eileendavis2064]

@@77777sadie Thank you for the prayers.

[@4Z7_RS]

As someone who has had their first psychotic episode in 2015 and major psychotic episode in July of 2022 that sent me to the hospital, I fully understand the mental fogginess. My psychosis involved hearing cars revving their engines near my house while I was talking to the news reporter on the television thinking they could actually hear me. Thinking I was the President (in relation to the last statement). Thinking my house is bugged. Thinking people are outside my house with mega-phones trying to lure me outside in the middle of the night. Hearing voices that sound like demonic laughter. Feeling bugs crawling on my face or arms (like a moth or spider) and it's so fast. The left side of my face would heat up and I would lose hearing in my left ear when I got really stressed out due to my psychosis. I struggle every day, but I keep taking my meds. Thank you for your courage in sharing this experience. It makes me feel like I am truly not alone.

[@izabellastrand8301]

I am sorry for you. I have schizoaffektiv disorder and I recognise myself in you. You are strong and unbelievable healty and great at taking care of yourself💖 I know how you feel, but it is not your fault. Hugs.

[@orionjaguar]

Oh Lauren… you did nothing wrong and sometimes things just get a bit weird in the brain. I work with clients with an SMI (serious mental illness) designation and many of them are on the schizophrenia spectrum. The fact that you’re willing to keep educating us in the face of all this worry is generous and humbling to witness. All the love to you and Rob. I hope you get through this episode ok and know that we’re rooting for you ❤

[@PaigeBlodget]

Lauren, you are such a gift to the world. I'm sorry you are suffering. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

[@jzeff6250]

Thank you for these words. You have me the gift of hope, and that I am not alone. In your pain, you loved enough to do this. Bless you.

[@esnb205]

I understand this beyond words. It's eclipsing to say I see myself here, and I do. That's not what I want to emphasize. I have your diagnosis and I am also a therapist and social worker. It's so hard to be coiffed and professional and together all the time and fear that the past is right on your heels. You clearly know that you are not your brain. You can discern. But that doesn't make it any less horrific of an experience. I am with you and we're 100% in this together.

[@wanya_telborn]

❤️

[@madelinebrennan7603]

I'm so proud of you. It's so incredible for you to be brave enough to share your experience in this vulnerable manner. You didn't have to do this and you did. For your viewers. Because you knew they needed to know that you experienced all they experienced. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You will get through this. It is temporary. I am so sorry you are confused and suffering. we who watch are with you and Rob and we care. big hugs...madeline

[@halloweendancing]

I love how you worded this !!!

[@SmooveBee1]

You are very courageous!

[@traceyfussell124]

Hi. Lauren. I am in US and find your videos so helpful. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psychotic features over 20 years ago. I am on disability but I consider myself high functioning. These episodes are part of the illness and I have had to finally settle on a medication regimin that works best but is not curative. Try to be kind to yourself. That helps me. Not necessarily giving in but realizing this too shall pass. If I know I am in psychosis I have found a trick that helps....I listen to harmonic percussion...my favorite is called Music for 18 Musicians. If I am having trouble I am unable to follow the plot of a movie I am watching. My husband and I discovered that putting on subtitles and listening at the same time is very helpful. Just thought I would share. Take care.

[@musingsofmessa]

Experiencing mental illness is by no means a weakness, and you shouldn't feel ashamed. You're very strong for recording yourself during a breakdown like this, and it's the most candid thing I've seen. Recording yourself during a mental break is a big leap, and I hope it helps. My heart goes out to you. 💜

[@laurfred2742]

You don't know how much your videos have helped me as a mom with a son with schizophrenia. Thanks for all you do!

[@Amy-466]

Same... Lauren has taught me so much...

[@LeChimp-jg6fh]

Your honesty, integrity and descriptive feeling is very much appreciated. You’re a brave soul. I often feel that I do not have agency over my own feelings.

[@sophcw]

It's so clear how much work you have done to get yourself to a place where you can manage a setback like this so well and with such compassion for yourself. It's extremely hard but you're clearly doing so much to help yourself right now.

[@alexiakingzette12]

Lauren I am so appreciative that you shared this. As a therapist and someone who grew up with a parent who dealt with psychotic episodes it’s amazing to see someone I admire talk about psychosis so openly. Sending you so much support. Also please know you never owe anyone anything when it comes to “showing the difficult parts.” Take care. 💛

[@jackdaniels8105]

@@DUDLEY2000 It's a polite form of saying "put yourself together, piece of shit ! "

[@buffplums]

@@DUDLEY2000 it’s just the person trying to express kindness that’s what it is

[@VioletEmerald]

​@Chris Cain I think it might be like "take from me the care I'm offering" in a sense.. it's just an idiom that mostly means "I wish you well"

[@buffplums]

@@VioletEmerald exactly, I always say take care to people when I wish them well. I guess people like me use it so often we fail to appreciate that perhaps some folk are unfamiliar with the expression perhaps?

[@koshikavya9979]

I'm also suffering from schizophrenia 😢😢

[@cookie_dough_hangover]

I am at awe. You are so strong. I don't know what else to say. You are NOT weak nor a failure. You are absolutely amazing. Sending you love. ❤

[@daveandrade8189]

It is not your fault anymore than having diabetes would be. You are so brave and we are pulling for you. L.

[@annahelena3277]

Thank you so much for the insights that you give us and for all your work as an activist! You really help to de-stigmatize Schizophrenia! Thanks for being so brave, elaborate and vulnerable! I wish you all the best!

[@timothycurnock9162]

You've done amazing things for schizophrenia. I can't recommend your channel enough.

[@hemlighet]

Oh dear... I hope you get better soon Lauren! God bless you! 🙏

[@kimberlychako7269]

You are so intelligent to have such an awareness during an episode. You are giving sound advice to people and all sentences make sense. All I’m able to do during an episode is to suspect everyone and make plans to run away from them. If I did a video it’ll probably be about how certain people are performing black magic on me and how ‘they’ve kidnapped all my loved ones

[@michelerush3378]

Well, I just watched this video for the second time. Your emotions , being able to be vulnerable during an extremely difficult period of psychosis carries a profound message, fast forward to todays latest videos , to see your journey unfold to a beautiful place in your life today is simply amazing !

[@deannadear8148]

Awwww Lauren! You are NOT weak or a failure! Even in psychosis, you still make 100% sense and are so brilliant! And to do this all to help others even when you are in pain, is even more amazing! Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable/real with us all!! Not every day is sunshine and roses, even without a mental health issue and I think it is great you show both sides! Hang in there hun, things always get better!

[@shannonnicollechannel5884]

I have schizophrenia as well and I felt every word you said… praying for you girl

[@elef951]

What do you see ?

[@foodie8727]

I also have schizophrenia and I think you are very articulate and have more of a grasp than you think! I don’t think I could even make a video in my psychosis. All the best!

[@shannonnicollechannel5884]

@@foodie8727 I appreciate your kind words. Thank you 🙂

[@shannonnicollechannel5884]

@@elef951 I'm sorry, I guess I don't understand the question

[@19.8t]

I hope you can come out of it soon. I've been dealing with it since Dec now so I feel great empathy towards you even though I'm feeling quite apathetic these days. Prayers and good vibes!

[@wendyb.2003]

I’m a clinician and I thank you for being brave to share this. I am sure it is helping others who share in your struggle. Be strong. ❤