Astounding Culture Clash: The CONTROVERSIAL USA Vs Portugal Perspective

[@ItllBeFun]

Bom dia! Come play millionaire with us. No really JOIN US for monthly get togethers at www.patreon.com/itllbefun, sign up for our newsletter and purchase *The Ultimate Moving Abroad program* at www.itllbefunretirement.com use *code FREE1TO1 and receive a online meetup* with Alan and Leslie - good until August 30th, 2024.

[@chrismedeiros3201]

What a blessing to have a good son at home until the time is right for him to move on! Wolf, this is an excellent explanation. Well done. BTW: That food looks delicious!

[@ItllBeFun]

Muito obrigado Chris and Carol, We miss you guys and look forward to seeing you next spring. Wolf

[@doodleacademy]

Bom dia! Wolf, thank you for sharing your perspective. I look at your situation as a BIG positive. While you are saving money, you are (most importantly) creating memories with your parents that you (and they) will cherish and always remember. You are taking the time to make good decisions about your future and to figure out your next steps. That is the smart thing to do. Best to you and your parents ☀

[@ItllBeFun]

Olá doodleacadeny, Thank you very much for your support and encouragement. I appreciate it. Have a wonderful day, Wolf

[@DiogoF.]

What an excellent video. Top quality. Thanks for the perspective on the island I was born.

[@ItllBeFun]

Muito obrigado. I am grateful for the opportunity to be here. Your island home is wonderful. Have a wonderful day!

[@John_McFadden]

Great video, Wolf! Many people who follow the channel will be very interested in hearing your side of the story and why you made the decision to move overseas with your mom and dad. You hit lots of great points that prove why it was a great a great decision! Cheers!

[@ItllBeFun]

Muito obrigado!

[@freeriderhappy]

It’s good you clarified a few things about yourself and your plans in life. It sound more authentic. There is nothing wrong with living together with your family, as long as you are paying for yourself and not adding stress to the aging parents about how to support you. Families that stay together or very close by benefit from one another and are much happier.

[@ItllBeFun]

Olá free rider, Thanks for watching and supporting our channel.

[@fscarvalho55]

My friend just live your life the way you like and can, as long as you are within the rules of the country you are in. Yes, I am a Portuguese/Canadian, living here in Southwestern Ontario (1 hour and 45 minutes from Niagara Falls border) for the past 35 years, I have three adult children, two girls one boy, all were born back in Portugal, Coimbra district. The girls have family of their own and their own places just around the corner, the boy is 37 now, has his own life of course but still living with us (parentes). Guess what? I am so glad he does. Why? Because he is the one who is here to help me mower the lawn, shovels (blowing) the snow and helps me around the house. Oh boy, am I happy? Of course, I'm thrilled. Do I care about other people's opinion? Hell NOOOOO!!! We (you and I) are the privileged ones, we can enjoy both cultures at their best, as long as we stay within the borders of respect for each one. Enjoy life with your parents and enjoy poncha too!!! LOL!!!

[@ItllBeFun]

You are making my mom cry. Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom. Life is what we allowit to be.

[@Alfablue227]

In Portugal, kids stay with parents for years after being of age. Actually, Portuguese are horrified by the American prepective of kicking kids out at 18 years of age! Most parents here want their kids to stay home after 18,finish school, find a job 1st and raise some cash B4 they get married. Finding your own apt to live by yourself is actually seen as a waste of money, when u can live at home where that money cud go to help the family budget.

[@ItllBeFun]

Olá Alfablue Thank you for always being here to support my family and I. We are grateful for all you do for us. Have a wonderful day Wolf

[@Jetmab04]

In Ireland similar happen... Ireland is extremely expensive to live in, hence young people cán't afford to leave home.. + it's very difficult to find a vood/affordable home here.. When it comes to retirement.... Same reasons here..

[@FranciscoCorreia10]

@@Jetmab04Portugal the same, that guy is only explaining the nice way, not the hard truth

[@occasm]

I can't speak for the whole U.S but I've raised several kids lol. They stay until they can make it on their own. Be careful of over generalizations.

[@Alfablue227]

@@occasm Good for you and for your children, I am happy you don't see it that way, however, you know that in America, the general expectation is once a kid is of age, they are "expected" and often obliged to move out, and that over here in Portugal, is considered outrageous behavior coming from a father or mother. Of course it's a cultural thing, and not everyone does it, but any 30 year old living in America at mom's and dad, is more often thought of as a loser, a problematic individual, or worse, when that could very well NOT be the case.

[@actionvj]

Take advantage of your advantages!! Live at home as long as possible. Absorb the stories & knowledge from your parents for as long as you’d like. Adulthood comes at you fast. Great video Wolf. Love the knowledge about the lavada’s. 👍🏾

[@ItllBeFun]

Olá! Obrigado! I appreciate your support. Have a wonderful day.

[@TexasDoug393]

I kind of hate the phrase, but I'll use it anyway, you be you, Wolf. I don't think there is anything wrong with what you're doing. You seem to be making a significant contribution to the channel with your drone shots and other videoing, and the real estate reviews are an interesting element. I stayed at home for a couple of extra years after college for similar reasons, and I was already into the Accounting side of my dual careers. I lived in Europe 6 1/2 years and agree it is more typical to see multi-generation families there (and probably in much of Latin America as well).

[@ItllBeFun]

Olá TexasDoug, Muito obrigado. I appreciate you sharing your story. Thank for your support. Wolf

[@sharrold1494]

Great video Wolf. Sorry that you felt the need to explain yourself but you did a great job. You have awesome parents and you're an amazing and very intelligent young man. Sorry we didnt see you at lunch today. You were missed. Bon voyage from Sharon and Tim.

[@ItllBeFun]

Sorry I missed you both today. The island will miss you. Hopefully the future will bring you back for a visit. Enjoy this next part of your adventure. Até aproxima

[@desertdweller8520]

It's OK Wolf. You do what is best for you and I'm sure you'll find your way.

[@ItllBeFun]

Great thought process. it will be as it should be.

[@Vigoonline]

Enjoy the company of your parents as much as you can. I left home at nineteen (1969 Brazil) despite being successful in most of my endeavors. I missed the coziness, love, and attention I had from my parents during my stay. Life got a lot better after I found my soul mate. She was my company and emotional support, and she still is after 44 years.

[@ItllBeFun]

What a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing. Someday in the future...

[@Solrac-Siul]

Not sure why you felt the need to justify or explain anything. In Europe and particular southern europe, kids stay home until they generally get married. In fact if your kid is 18 and leaves home many will see that as a bad sign , sometimes or bad parenting. Maybe as a result of the longer stay , family unity is higher, and families are in general more cohesive - grandparentns, fathers and sons are far more connected and often seen together . Personally as an American I prefer the "portuguese way"

[@ItllBeFun]

Olá! We see us being together as a blessing. Many Americans don't. Thanks for sharing and for watching. Have a wonderful day!

[@lauras8674]

This is not true anymore. Kids in the US are living with thier parents a lot longer due to inflation and cost of living. In fact, a lot of adult children have to move back because of inflation or they have to take care of aging parents. It's amazing that you have such an great relationship with each other. 🎉 Keep saving!!! Live the dream.🎉

[@ItllBeFun]

Hi Laura It is nice that more adult children are staying with there parents in multigenerational families. It is sad that many Americans don't see the love and advantage yet. We see them here in our channel everyday. Hopefully everyone will grow and learn together.

[@sammudd1365]

You are correct. It's a great idea always embraced by European cultures, but scorned by Americans . It's becoming more common for adult children to live with family in the US as it is not economically feasible for the younger generation to rent or buy separate housing these days. I was just having this conversation with a Portuguese friend last night. The differences in perception between Portuguese and American Cultures regarding multi generational housing may be changing (albeit very slowly ). Many of the Portuguese houses on the mainland (and in the Azores) were built to accommodate multiple generational families under the same roof. I believe I am seeing this concept being incorporated into new builds in the US these days. I split my residence between the Terceira and Florida and would welcome either home to both of my sons and their families.

[@jonniesantos]

What’s the old saying? “When in Rome…”

[@ItllBeFun]

True

[@swatigee]

This is a great arrangement. Not sure if you are single or not, but having a significant other is often a big game changer to this situation.

[@ItllBeFun]

True.

[@johnnyb8629]

Im going to be in Portugal from Sept 3 through Sept 23 on a motorcycle adventure with my two older sisters. I can't wait, but all my you tube education on Portugal has brought me here. cool

[@ItllBeFun]

What a wonderful trip! Have a fantastic time!

[@patrickmulligan7994]

Have you lost your mind??? Of course stay at home 🏠 and save your $! As long as you are respectful and you and your parents get along and enjoy life. Y NOT ! 🎉😊

[@ItllBeFun]

Thanks for watching.

[@paulheumiller2028]

Great stuff and I totally agree. I have two sons in the USA that still live with their mother and I keep telling them to save and ideally move out of the USA, just like you and I have.

[@ItllBeFun]

Thanks for sharing. Maybe they will come live with you!

[@saragomes6242]

Eu deixei a casa dos meus pais porque casei,mas estava emigrada na Suíça,e voltei para Portugal porque o meu marido era militar,senão continuava a ficar em casa dos meus pais quando vinha de férias, e mesmo que estivesse solteira continuaria a viver em casa dos meus pais mesmo depois de eles falecerem

[@ItllBeFun]

Muito obrigado! I appreciate you sharing your story. I appreciate it.

[@gabkoost]

In southern Europe it is notmal to stay with your parents until you get married. If you don't then it's common to just stay there. But it doesn't mean you get to freeload. You need to work and pay your dues. If people have space and kids are working and proper persons, everyone wins. Familly stay close. Kids will be around to help parents when they get older. Lots of saved money. The idea that you have to gtfo of the house ASAP when you have no money or stable life is ludicrous. And it is impossible in Europe with the renting prices as it stands.

[@ItllBeFun]

Thanks for sharing! Have a wonderful day!

[@tonistojcev6281]

My friend don’t worry what anyone thinks if you’re happy n mom n dad are ok then yes. Stay enjoy help your parents. I won’t explain nothing to no one. Your dad is cool guy. Me and my wife are coming to Portugal in a year. So tell ur dad n mom we are having drinks together that’s is 110% we are from Chicago too (Naperville) maybe we can get the “Track us down”

[@ItllBeFun]

Olá! Thanks Toni! I appreciate the support. We will see you in the island in the future. We invite you to join our monthly meet up group in Patreon. www.itllbefunretirement.com and www.patreon.com/itllbefun

[@CigarAttache]

Seriously how has no one made a “Wolf of Wallstreet” comment yet?! 🤔🤷‍♂️🤣🤣🤣

[@ItllBeFun]

True.

[@BlissfulDee]

It's obvious that you and your parents get along well with each other, and that's a nice thing to have going for you. I suppose that the two main issues/differences that people see for an adult child living with their parents is privacy and having relationships. I don't know if you're in a relationship or not, Wolf (and I am not asking if you are), but I could see that it would work in Portugal for a person's romantic interest to meet the parents right away simply because they are part of the person's everyday home life and it would naturally happen for everyone to meet each other. But would there be enough privacy for intimate moments with a love interest in a shared living situation? Also in the US, meeting the parents is often a really big deal after someone's moved out and lived on their own for a while. It usually signifies that the relationship is "getting serious." So, in Portugal, romantic relationships probably start out the way platonic friendships do in the US, with parents knowing who is in your life and friends knowing your parents. Very different perspectives!

[@ItllBeFun]

Olá Blisafulldew Só correct! You have pointed out all the interesting factors that multigenerational living can run up against.. However, in my case I will.plan to adjust my living arrangements as needed.:)

[@ElsaSimaan]

True, living with your parents saves money, helps the child and parents economically. And some in the U.S. want to move to Europe, and like us Portugal for a better and affordable retirement and life, as you have, but now without the NHR, that reality is gone and everything has changed. We were in the middle of our visa process and missed that opportunity by 6 weeks. Now we are looking at a tax rate of 43% on all our income, not just retirement! This has crushed our dream to move to Portugal, it no longer makes sense. Although we enjoy your happy, happy, joy, joy videos of inviting folks to follow your path since you are all on the previous NHR, I find it amazing that no one wants to address this subject of the currant status of the not so kind NHR. It appears this subject, like a big pink elephant in the room is avoided by all Portugal KZbinrs. Perhaps you would like to shed some light on this subject and enlighten those of us who are left behind. We would be very interested on your take.

[@ItllBeFun]

Bom dia! You are right the taxes here can be very high even at what we in the USA feel is a lower income. However like the USA it is a graduated tax system. So you pay 48% only on the part of your income over €81,000. We have talked about this a few times and can not stress enough that you should contact a Portuguese tax attorney, ours is listed in the detail description of our videos as well as on the trusted vendor page of our website www.itllbefunretirement.com Many people find that because of how they receive their income (teaching, government, etc) they pay no more than the 20% they would pay in the USA. So grab the bull by the horns and check your situation out. Your dreams are out there just waiting.

[@brandycortez671]

Very well said wolf

[@ItllBeFun]

Muito obrigado

[@estelladog1]

Rest assured life always comes full circle. Nothing should have to feel to be explained. To have that good relationship is a wonderful thing. My parents never pressured me as a young adult and in my parents golden years I returned the favor. Life, love and happiness can indeed be right where it is supposed to be! It's a good thing. I had many great times with my parents over our lifetime and very thankful. Heck, we only moved 2 subdivisions away in either direction from our families. So, they were always nearby. I always have worked mega hours and long shifts, so my husband would drive my parents to Illinois for a nice midday meal. This happened several times a month, always via the Ferry. Wah is all I can say. But, thankful he took just as good care of them while I brought in as much as I could so we could have nice things. Now things don't mean anything at all, and I wish I had them all alive again! Be very happy Wolf, and never feel the need to explain. Life is good now. Enjoy it. You are still young!

[@ItllBeFun]

You are correct. Life.is short.. Enjoying the time we have is and amazing gift not to be missed. Thank you for sharing your story Wolf

[@johnnyb8629]

Ya know, I agree with your point and I'm 53 Yo divorced father of two. I would cohabitate with both of my daughters if they would get along. My x wife had one of my daughters living with her and her husband up to my daughters age 25 but they couldn't get along at all, and would get into huge screaming fights where things were said that couldn't be unsaid. I'm way more tolerant person than my X wife. I am pretty sure my oldest daughter and I and her BF could cohabitate and be just fine as long as there were enough privacy for both. I think there is a issue with privacy for adult children when they have a significant other they are living with, maybe with religious families its more of an issue perhaps with daughters over sons. I have no issues with my daughters and their BF sleeping together but Im atheist and I recognize that humans are sexual beings and its healthy to have that. My question, is how do you cohabitate when the son/daughter live with different cleanliness life styles? My two daughters were room mates through college and fought terribly over cleaning duties to the point where screaming fights broke out.

[@ItllBeFun]

Great story! And maybe the girls would just need the hire a cleaning person.

[@johnnyb8629]

@ItllBeFun that would be a great idea to make it work. Have a cleaning crew come 1 a week to keep everyone happy. Should be affordable with the money saved from cohabitation. I wish I could have provided that earlier with my daughters, it would have saved their relationships. As it is now, my oldest is estranged more or less from her mother and sister. My youngest is somewhat estranged from myself and her mother and definitely from her sister. I get along very well with my oldest daughter and I do talk with my youngest but not as often as I like to, mostly due to her work. I hope to help my relationship with my youngest end of next year, I promised to take her on vacation from LA to nor cal when I a motorcycle trip. I want a better adult relationship than I had when they were teens. I don't think my x wife cares either way as long as it doesn't cost her anything.

[@ItllBeFun]

Olá Johnny The motorcycle trip sounds like lots of fun. It should be a wonderful trip to spend time together as father and daughter.

[@Sperry411]

Oh my gosh, why do you have to explain why you still live with your parents. It's none of their business. Your parents are blessed to have you on their side. My son is 41 and because of his minor disability, he will live with me forever until we die.

[@ItllBeFun]

Olá; thanks for sharing. You are correct. Sharing is a choice.

[@MirandaHorger]

Wolf, you couldn't be more right! Getting set up for success as a young adult is such a game changer! If you have a good relationship with your parents, it's the ideal way to start life. Bravo! We should have figured this out sooner!

[@ItllBeFun]

Thank you! We are glad you are here supporting us as we got through our journey.

[@birdynumnum3473]

I think you were describing the American hustle culture and personal independence standards we are taught as children. My mother was Colombian and we learned how the children always lived with the parents until they got married or had saved enough money to move away in comfort. The Go Go Go era we live in here in America is not for the best especially as it is detrimental to the family structure.

[@ItllBeFun]

Olá! It is a cultural difference. Thanks for sharing your story. We appreciate your support.

[@danbert6039]

backside of covid. Ha!

[@ItllBeFun]

I know

[@contra_plano]

Portuguese has a 1000 years of history, not 200

[@teddydavis2339]

Portugal is a relatively poor country. Most young people can not afford to live alone because of the low salaries. I see nothing wrong with children living with their parents until they are ready to leave. Very nice video. Foi divertido.

[@ItllBeFun]

Muito obrigado. Have a wonderful day!

[@jd3973]

In Portugal we have a saying; "It takes a whole village to educate a child." In other words, grandparents are essential for the formation and development of children.

[@ItllBeFun]

Bom dia! What a wonderful saying. Thank for sharing.